0:00:31 > 0:00:33'Status report -
0:00:33 > 0:00:37'today the sun's going to come up, the same as on any other day.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40'People are going to wake up and have a bowl of cereal,
0:00:40 > 0:00:43'same as they would on any other day.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46'But today, everything is different.
0:00:46 > 0:00:51'Because today, Lockie Leonard, finally, you're a teenager.'
0:00:51 > 0:00:53ALARM RINGS
0:01:03 > 0:01:07Lockie... Are you awake?
0:01:07 > 0:01:08Excellent.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10Let's do it.
0:01:11 > 0:01:12Quietly, now.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17Ow! CLATTERING
0:01:21 > 0:01:23DOOR CREAKS
0:01:27 > 0:01:30'The big one-three. 13 years old.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32'As in, unreal.
0:01:32 > 0:01:38'OK, 13. But does it feel any different, Lock?
0:01:38 > 0:01:42'Same little brother. Same Outer Space bedspread
0:01:42 > 0:01:43'I've had since I was three.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46'Hello! Is there anything that isn't different?
0:01:46 > 0:01:49'Body hair in new and unusual places?
0:01:49 > 0:01:53'New school? Girls so awesomely cute, you forget how to talk?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55'Give me a break!'
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Shh... Are you sure he's still asleep?
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Guaranteed, Sarge, out like a light.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03'Yeah, OK. Some things are still the same.'
0:02:03 > 0:02:06We don't want to give him a shock and have him end up on life support!
0:02:06 > 0:02:07Here we go...
0:02:07 > 0:02:08'Come on, guys!
0:02:08 > 0:02:11'I need to go to the loo!'
0:02:11 > 0:02:12Go, go, go, go!
0:02:12 > 0:02:15ALL: Surprise!
0:02:15 > 0:02:18Hey, guys, what's this? What's going on?
0:02:18 > 0:02:21- Happy birthday, Lockie. - Happy birthday!
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Now, this one's from Nan and Pop.
0:02:25 > 0:02:29Nan and Pop? You're kidding? They never remember our birthdays!
0:02:29 > 0:02:33I had a lengthy discussion with them before I let them leave to go home.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Wow. Love it. Far out.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44I got you a book.
0:02:51 > 0:02:52The Big Bang:
0:02:52 > 0:02:56A Short History Of Expulsions and Explosions.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Can I borrow it when you've finished?
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Maybe you should just look at it first.
0:03:04 > 0:03:05Yes!
0:03:06 > 0:03:11Lockie...this is from your mother and me.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Happy birthday, son.
0:03:18 > 0:03:23- It's not exactly brand new, Lockie. - In fact, it's...pre-loved.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26So, someone may have piddled in it before you.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28It's just, your other one has perished so badly,
0:03:28 > 0:03:31it was looking like an old tortoise's neck.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35This is the best present anyone's ever given me!
0:03:35 > 0:03:36Thanks, Mum. Thanks, Sarge.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Now, Leonard family tradition
0:03:41 > 0:03:43dictates that birthdays and such are celebrated
0:03:43 > 0:03:46with a Mexican feast at the Tacky Taco
0:03:46 > 0:03:48- in Westmoreland Street in the city. - With all your little friends.
0:03:48 > 0:03:53But, as said restaurant is some hundreds of miles from hence,
0:03:53 > 0:03:56we'll be celebrating at the Blue Fin Chinese restaurant
0:03:56 > 0:04:00in busy downtown Angelus. Your table awaits at 7pm.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04And, if you're quick, you can test out that wettie
0:04:04 > 0:04:08- before heading off to school. - Thanks, Mum! Thanks, Dad!
0:04:18 > 0:04:20'The wet suit was a beautiful thing.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23'And gee, was it ever making a difference!
0:04:23 > 0:04:27'This was my 5th wave already and I was only just beginning to shiver.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31'I surfed till my hands felt like second-hand sausages
0:04:31 > 0:04:35'and still came out of the water with a great big smile on my face!
0:04:37 > 0:04:41'If this was my teens, I'm up for it!
0:04:41 > 0:04:43'And that's when it started.'
0:04:43 > 0:04:45CREAKING
0:04:50 > 0:04:53Aaagh! I'm trapped! As in, totally!
0:04:53 > 0:04:58OK, losing oxygen. Stay calm, don't panic.
0:04:58 > 0:04:59Can you hear me in there?
0:04:59 > 0:05:04'I wasn't sure who it was, but I was fairly sure it wasn't Old Squasher.'
0:05:04 > 0:05:05Help!
0:05:05 > 0:05:08- Help!- Stop complaining, you dill.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10I can't get out!
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Oh!
0:05:12 > 0:05:15'For one horrible moment, I thought all my skin had come off.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23'It was Vicki. As in, Vicki Streeton.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27'The girl I'd been crazy about for weeks.'
0:05:27 > 0:05:30So, you're a surfer, hey?
0:05:30 > 0:05:32I'll try to overlook it.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34- What?- Surfers think they're so hot.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38They think everyone loves them the way they love themselves.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39But hey, it's just not possible.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41So, why are you talking to me?
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Life's full of mysteries.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47So, you won't expect me to sit on the beach
0:05:47 > 0:05:49like some dumb, adoring surf chick.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52No, I'm not sure...
0:05:53 > 0:05:56'If you've ever wanted to know what heaven is like,
0:05:56 > 0:06:01'it tastes of vanilla ice-cream and smells like strawberry topping.'
0:06:01 > 0:06:04I'd better be going.
0:06:06 > 0:06:07Erm...
0:06:11 > 0:06:13It's my birthday.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Happy birthday, then.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32I'll see you at school. We can sort the details out over recess.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Yes!
0:06:42 > 0:06:45You're looking mighty pleased with yourself.
0:06:45 > 0:06:50That's because I've just kissed the most adorable boy in the universe.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Surely you mean Lockie Leonard - the world champion surfing ace?
0:06:53 > 0:06:57Sasha, hold the front page - celebrity update.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Vicki and Lockie Leonard are an item.
0:06:59 > 0:07:04Vicki, darling, not so fast. Have you sorted out the details yet?
0:07:04 > 0:07:08No, but Mum, Lockie's so much more of a hunk now he's 13.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Who cares about the details
0:07:10 > 0:07:15when the important thing is we're finally together!
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Isn't that right, Lockie?
0:07:18 > 0:07:23'Of course it was. I didn't care what the details were either.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26'That kiss of Vicki's was such a knockout,
0:07:26 > 0:07:28'my brain had packed up for the day.'
0:07:28 > 0:07:33So, if I was to drop by the station say...just after school?
0:07:33 > 0:07:34Around 3.15, 3.30?
0:07:34 > 0:07:39When Niall will be colouring in our morning tea roster
0:07:39 > 0:07:42- and Lisa will be on the front desk. - Excellent!
0:07:44 > 0:07:46So?
0:07:46 > 0:07:48How was the wet suit?
0:07:51 > 0:07:53It's changed my life.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00It's a personal selection of real music.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Cast Irons to Metal Mortals - the psychotic years. Happy birthday.
0:08:04 > 0:08:05Yeah, thanks.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09Hey! No need to fall over yourself with gratitude!
0:08:09 > 0:08:11- I was only up all night burning that! - Hey, Lockie, how's it going?
0:08:11 > 0:08:15- Hi, Lockie.- Hey, Lockie.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18- Hey...Lockie?- Hey, Lockie.
0:08:18 > 0:08:22Egg, have you ever kissed a girl?
0:08:22 > 0:08:24- No!- Hey, Lockie.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26But to continue...
0:08:26 > 0:08:28I don't know if you even realise,
0:08:28 > 0:08:32but I think you've just become... popular.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Lockie! I understand you've committed
0:08:38 > 0:08:40to a relationship with Vicki? That right?
0:08:40 > 0:08:43You're kidding me! Is that right?
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Well, yeah, I guess so.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Then we need to discuss "the details".
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- What are "the details"?- Egg, you will never need to know.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54I think it's only fair to warn you what will happen
0:08:54 > 0:08:57if you even so much as look at another girl.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01It's my task to introduce you to a number of handy rules
0:09:01 > 0:09:04which you will be required to learn by heart.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Assume that boys like movies
0:09:06 > 0:09:09where lots of people get killed very quickly,
0:09:09 > 0:09:14whereas girls prefer movies where one person dies very slowly.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18You have in front of you a selection of personal care products.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20These include deodorant.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Whiffy boy smells may be amusing in the locker room,
0:09:23 > 0:09:26but have no place on that special date.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28This brings your presentation to a close.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30On your way out, you'll see a bin
0:09:30 > 0:09:33where you can dispose of any information
0:09:33 > 0:09:35that relates, in any way, to surfing.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Thank you for your attention.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41Break any of these rules and you WILL be dumped.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Have a nice day now.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Mate! My work here is done.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52'Class, the miracle of Shakespeare'
0:09:52 > 0:09:55is the way his words speak to us across the centuries,
0:09:55 > 0:10:00with words so fresh, they could have been penned this morning.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03I thought this morning was pretty special, myself.
0:10:03 > 0:10:08So, Mr Shakespeare's tale of Athenian lovers.
0:10:08 > 0:10:13Hermia and Lysander, together with Helena and Demetrius,
0:10:13 > 0:10:16is just the same now as it was in Elizabethan times.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Vicki - we've discussed the text in detail,
0:10:19 > 0:10:24now tell the play in your own words, with expression, please.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28So, fair Lysander, how's your day been so far?
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Uh...you know, pretty good.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33THEY LAUGH
0:10:33 > 0:10:38I suppose I've realised, I just love being with you. All the time.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42It's as if, from now on, every spare moment I have,
0:10:42 > 0:10:45I want to share that with you. Together.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Really? What about surfing?
0:10:47 > 0:10:52And who knows, fair Lysander, maybe one day, we could get married.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56- ALL: Oooooh!- 'Married! Did she just say "married"?'
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Enter Helena and Demetrius, please.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06Chicky babe. You want it, I got it.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Get your hands off me, loser!
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Oh! Oh!
0:11:11 > 0:11:14- Excellent improvisation, you two! - I'm not acting!
0:11:14 > 0:11:17I'm in sickening pain!
0:11:17 > 0:11:20So, were you acting, or did you really mean what you said
0:11:20 > 0:11:24about doing everything together, all the time?
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Sure I did. I want to keep you all to myself.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28For ever, obviously.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31For heaven's sake! Can someone get a Band Aid
0:11:31 > 0:11:33- and smelling salts from the sickroom?- I'll do it!
0:11:34 > 0:11:37'There was more to having a girlfriend than I'd imagined.
0:11:37 > 0:11:42'And taking time out to do your own thing was shaping up as a problem.
0:11:42 > 0:11:47'Maybe I needed to go to boyfriend school and work on "the details".
0:11:47 > 0:11:51'Hold on - here's someone new. I haven't seen her out here before.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56'Wow - look at her go! Good move!'
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Aagh!
0:12:07 > 0:12:09HE SPLUTTERS
0:12:14 > 0:12:15Are you all right?
0:12:17 > 0:12:18You surf really well.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20You're awesome.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24Yeah, I know. You're kind of marginally OK yourself.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27I haven't seen you round. Are you new in town, like I am?
0:12:27 > 0:12:28Yeah, kind of.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33'This girl was an awesome surfer.
0:12:33 > 0:12:34'She paddled like a demon.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37'Her wave judgment was perfect. And she was...
0:12:37 > 0:12:41'No, hang on - what was I doing even looking at another girl,
0:12:41 > 0:12:44'breaking the first rule of "the details",
0:12:44 > 0:12:47'when I was still recovering from when Vicki kissed me?! Over there!
0:12:47 > 0:12:49'This morning!
0:12:49 > 0:12:52'OK, Lockie, time to flee the scene of the crime.
0:12:54 > 0:12:59'Unlike me, Philip only had eyes for one girl at a time.'
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Lisa! Of all people! Fancy seeing you here!
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Hey, Philip.
0:13:03 > 0:13:07- What's the book?- What? Book?
0:13:07 > 0:13:11Oh, this? This book?
0:13:11 > 0:13:16You might find it interesting, Lisa, given your love of science.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Wow. It's brilliant.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Mmm, it's a little on the juvenile side,
0:13:23 > 0:13:25but not without a certain appeal.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28"To Lockie, 13 big ones".
0:13:29 > 0:13:33Oh, don't worry about that! Would you like to borrow it, perhaps?
0:13:33 > 0:13:38Take your time, relish every page.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42Sarge! I was just saying to Lisa, she should come along to dinner tonight.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Lockie's birthday bash? Excellent idea, Philip.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57'I'd broken the first rule of "the details" in record time.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59'All because I looked at this surfer girl called...
0:13:59 > 0:14:04'OK, turns out I don't actually know what her name is.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08'Come to think of it, I didn't know anything about her!
0:14:08 > 0:14:10'Unlike Vicki, who I've been crazy about
0:14:10 > 0:14:12'since the first day I saw her.'
0:14:12 > 0:14:16So you like me, and you love kissing me,
0:14:16 > 0:14:20but when it comes to...surfing, you'll have a much better time
0:14:20 > 0:14:23- doing that stuff with her than me. Is that it?- No...
0:14:23 > 0:14:26Then what's so boring with me that you'd want to look at another girl?
0:14:26 > 0:14:29Vicki, there's nothing wrong with you. You're perfect.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31You're totally awesome.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35- I thought you said I was awesome. - I was talking about your surfing!
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Right. So apart from when you're surfing,
0:14:37 > 0:14:40you're saying you don't want to hear what I'm thinking?
0:14:40 > 0:14:41Like, getting married?
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Just because I'm this dumb surfer chick?
0:14:44 > 0:14:48I don't even know you! If you don't mind, I'd rather not talk to you.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Or look at you. Ever again!
0:14:50 > 0:14:52So you're just going to ignore me until graduation?
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Graduation?
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Oh! That's right!
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Surfer girl said she's new in town.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01That means she'll be coming to school!
0:15:01 > 0:15:04We could all end up in the same class!
0:15:04 > 0:15:07That'd be good for you. You wouldn't know where to look!
0:15:07 > 0:15:09KNOCK ON DOOR
0:15:09 > 0:15:13Lockie... Vicki's at the door. She wants to talk to you.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Oh, man!
0:15:18 > 0:15:20- Hi, there.- Hi.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24I thought you were a bit upset with me today
0:15:24 > 0:15:26cos I hadn't got you a birthday present.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29- So, now I have.- Oh!
0:15:29 > 0:15:30Thank you.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- So, are you doing anything special tonight?- Pssst! Psst!
0:15:39 > 0:15:40Oh, no, no, no.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44We'll just be staying at home. Quiet evening with the family.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47You know. Might get the old Monopoly board out or something.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50OK, then.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Monopoly.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55I'd better shoot.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57OK. Thanks for coming round.
0:15:57 > 0:16:01- And the pressie, of course. - My pleasure.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11'I felt terrible lying to Vicki.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14'But I didn't trust myself not to say something stupid
0:16:14 > 0:16:16'and make things even worse.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19'Tonight, I just wanted to feel safe with my family.'
0:16:19 > 0:16:24Oh, baby! Bring it on! Oh, yes!
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Tonight's the night!
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Ow-eeee!
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Lisa! Hello.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35These chopsticks really bring out the colour in your eyes.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39Now if anybody should happen to mention bedwetting,
0:16:39 > 0:16:42could you change the subject? And I mean, fast!
0:16:42 > 0:16:45I'm on fire! Whoo!
0:16:58 > 0:17:02Champagne, Sarge? For Lisa?
0:17:02 > 0:17:05And you and Mum, of course. Is one bottle enough?
0:17:05 > 0:17:08- What do you think, Lockie?- Champagne?
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Take it easy there, Philip.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12I'll just have what everyone else is having.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15How does the Deluxe Banquet sound?
0:17:15 > 0:17:18It's a good price, considering what you get.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22And Lisa, I hear it's to-die-for.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24'Yep, you had to hand it to Team Leonard - Loonies Anonymous.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28'We're all so crazy, you just relax and go with the flow.'
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Oh, my God, look - it's the Leonards!
0:17:32 > 0:17:37Hello, Joy! Hello, everyone.
0:17:37 > 0:17:42You all know my husband, Barry, the mayor of Angelus. And Victoria.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44It's great here, isn't it?
0:17:44 > 0:17:45I'm a big fan of the Deluxe Banquet.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49When you consider what they give you, it's worth every cent!
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Maybe you'd like to join us?
0:17:51 > 0:17:55Oh, no! Private function - don't let us interrupt.
0:17:55 > 0:17:56We've booked our own table.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Lockie - the man of the moment. What would you like, son?
0:18:05 > 0:18:06Keeping in mind...
0:18:08 > 0:18:10Excuse me.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16'OK, so things had taken a bad turn all of a sudden.
0:18:16 > 0:18:20'But I was still hopeful there was a way out of this. For Vicki and me.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22'I just needed time to think.
0:18:22 > 0:18:26'But then, life got a whole lot worse.'
0:18:26 > 0:18:29It's you! What are you doing here?
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Erm, toilet. Who are you?
0:18:32 > 0:18:35The beach? This afternoon?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38- We said hello. Remember?- No.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Great. That's fantastic.
0:18:43 > 0:18:47Look, whatever you do, don't sit at my table. Don't wave.
0:18:47 > 0:18:51Don't even look at me, OK? We've never met before. Understood?
0:18:51 > 0:18:53I don't even know you.
0:18:55 > 0:19:00'I had two choices. Either go back in there and come clean to Vicki
0:19:00 > 0:19:01'about breaking the rules.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04'Or lock myself in the toilet until graduation.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09'Then the first instalment of Mr Streeton's Deluxe Banquet
0:19:09 > 0:19:12'made up my mind for me.'
0:19:12 > 0:19:13Aagh!
0:19:21 > 0:19:24That's right - the beach! This afternoon.
0:19:24 > 0:19:25You said that I was awesome.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Is she the reason you've been acting so weird?
0:19:38 > 0:19:41- Why didn't you say something?- No...
0:19:41 > 0:19:44I was going to. Of course I was.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47- But, erm, I didn't. - How long have you known her?
0:19:47 > 0:19:50Not long. Three hours max. It's nothing!
0:19:50 > 0:19:52I don't even know her name.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Just enough time for a quick game of Monopoly.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58So tell me, why should I believe anything else you say?
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Have you opened my present yet?
0:20:01 > 0:20:02Maybe you shouldn't.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Maybe you should get back to me when you've grown up a bit.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07In about 25 years!
0:20:16 > 0:20:20Lisa... Our family has a number of traditions.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24One of which is, erm... my birthday poem.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33"When as a family we huddle He's not too big for a cuddle
0:20:33 > 0:20:36"Our first-born by name of L Leonard
0:20:36 > 0:20:40"And whatever we miss It's never our kiss
0:20:40 > 0:20:42"Our first-born A teenager now
0:20:42 > 0:20:46"One foot in the door of adulthood And the trials he must jockey
0:20:46 > 0:20:51"But for his mother and me And Blob and Philip makes three
0:20:53 > 0:20:55"There'll only ever be one Lockie."
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Happy birthday, son.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04Blow out your candles, make a wish.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08'I wish...
0:21:08 > 0:21:10'I wish I was 12 again.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13'And today had never happened.'
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Come on, everybody!
0:21:20 > 0:21:21Group photograph!
0:21:21 > 0:21:25Vicki, Sal, come on! Come on!
0:21:27 > 0:21:28Positions, big smile.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32Nice and close, nice and close.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35And...smile!
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Oh, that is lovely.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- That is...- Waiter?
0:21:43 > 0:21:47The lady would like to send her compliments to the chef.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Watch and learn.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59'Tonight, the moon will rise,
0:21:59 > 0:22:02'just the same as it would on any other night.
0:22:02 > 0:22:07'People will find their way to bed, as they would on any other night.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10'But tonight, everything is different.'
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Tonight, Lockie,
0:22:19 > 0:22:22was perfection.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31'13 years old. It already felt unlucky.'
0:22:47 > 0:22:52Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:22:52 > 0:22:55E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk