0:00:30 > 0:00:33Give it up now for everybody's favourite little brother...
0:00:33 > 0:00:36'There's a funny thing about families...'
0:00:36 > 0:00:38..Philip Leonard!
0:00:38 > 0:00:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:40 > 0:00:44'..there's a public face that we like to show to the world...'
0:00:44 > 0:00:49And finally, here he is. The star of Laugh With The Leonards,
0:00:49 > 0:00:54the love lord with the surfboard, it's Lockie Leonard!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:59 > 0:01:01'..and then there's the private face,
0:01:01 > 0:01:04'the face we keep hidden away from everyone...
0:01:04 > 0:01:06'behind closed doors.'
0:01:11 > 0:01:14'You'd have to say that Saturday afternoons at the Leonards
0:01:14 > 0:01:17'is one of those times when the last thing you need
0:01:17 > 0:01:19'is a studio audience.'
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Hello, anybody home?
0:01:27 > 0:01:31'Put it this way - Saturday afternoons at the Leonards
0:01:31 > 0:01:34'is for immediate family members only.'
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Ooo-eee!
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Someone's here!
0:01:53 > 0:01:56Hi! Joy, isn't it?
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Sunny. We met the other day at school, the musical.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02We really hit it off.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05- I thought we were going to see some rain today.- Me too,
0:02:05 > 0:02:08- it came over really cloudy earlier on.- And then it fined up again.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12- Yes. It did.- Hmm.
0:02:12 > 0:02:16Oh, yes. The musical, of course.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19I found this on the ground on the way in.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Um... (LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Thank you.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Goodness me, Philip! Look at you!
0:02:27 > 0:02:30Middle of the afternoon, you're not even dressed.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33But, Mum, it's Saturday. We never get dressed...
0:02:34 > 0:02:38Sunny, why don't you end on inside? I do have to warn you though,
0:02:38 > 0:02:40you have to take us as you find us.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43I'd love to, but I was wondering if I could beg the biggest favour?
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Of course, you only have to ask. SUNNY WHISTLES
0:02:48 > 0:02:52- You remember my daughter Mel?- Er...
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Mum, you remember Mel. She's the one that Lockie tried to kiss
0:02:55 > 0:02:58- and it all went horribly wrong. - MEL: Hi!- Hi.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04And do you remember Lockie?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06SHE LAUGHS
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Are you kidding me? That's so not going to happen.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Oh. Wow!
0:03:14 > 0:03:16SUNNY: Thanks, Joy. I'll pick her up tomorrow.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19I know it's short notice, but if I can nail this presentation
0:03:19 > 0:03:23at the Green Expo, Mel and I will be laughing all the way to the bank.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27- Wow! Great(!)- Righty, I'll see you tomorrow, chuck.
0:03:28 > 0:03:34- Bye! Thanks again for having Mel over.- Mel's doing what?
0:03:34 > 0:03:36'And just when it couldn't get any worse...'
0:03:36 > 0:03:40- Magnificent specimen of manhood coming through.- Oh no, please, no!
0:03:40 > 0:03:42It's like a jungle out...
0:03:45 > 0:03:50Um... Perhaps, Lockie, you'd like to take Mel for a little walk.
0:03:50 > 0:03:51For an hour.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54At least.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Are you sure you're cool about me staying over tonight?
0:04:00 > 0:04:03I mean, you didn't really get much say.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06You've only been here five minutes and already seen my family
0:04:06 > 0:04:08in their underwear. How can it get any worse?
0:04:08 > 0:04:12'Only if someone mentions what happened at the beach.'
0:04:12 > 0:04:16Do you want to talk about what happened the other day at the beach?
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Me? Nah! It's, it's weird,
0:04:19 > 0:04:22It's like I can't even remember much happening.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24It's like I've forgotten the whole day.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30Even the bit where you tried to kiss me and I told you to get lost?
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Really? Can't remember that bit.
0:04:33 > 0:04:38'The way I see it, things were just fine with the two of us being...
0:04:38 > 0:04:43'well, mates, but then... everything changed.'
0:04:45 > 0:04:50'Like, big time.'
0:04:51 > 0:04:53'If Mel was ever going to quit laughing at me,
0:04:53 > 0:04:56'I had to get things back to the way they were.'
0:04:56 > 0:05:00So do you want to go kick a footie or, I don't know, maybe we could
0:05:00 > 0:05:05- go drop some farts.- Oh, yeah. Let's do that(!)
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Or do you want to have a nose around inside that house?
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Wouldn't the people who live there have something to say?
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Nobody lives there. It's been empty since we moved to Angelus.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26Where are you going? Um, Mel, I was joking.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28It's unlocked.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Yeah, great(!) Let's do it.
0:05:32 > 0:05:37OK, that's enough. Let's go now.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41Mel? Mate?
0:05:41 > 0:05:46I could live here. It's cool.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Next door, yeah, great(!) Mind you,
0:05:49 > 0:05:52can't be all that bad living on a houseboat.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54I'm guessing that's because you've never had to.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58Think toilets in a force nice gale.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02We, er, we really should get a move on.
0:06:03 > 0:06:07Sure. I guess everyone will be fully clothed by now.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13If you would like to sit there, Mel, in the good chair.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- I hope you're feeling peckish, Mel. - I sure am.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Yum! Tuna Mornay.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23No. That's apricot beef.
0:06:25 > 0:06:31- Right-oh. Yum.- Mel, about this morning. I hope you don't think that
0:06:31 > 0:06:35just because it's a Saturday that that's any excuse for me
0:06:35 > 0:06:37getting around the house in a state of undress.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Who would do that? PHILIP: I can't remember
0:06:39 > 0:06:43- the last time Mum was undressed before noon.- That's right,
0:06:43 > 0:06:45- it never happens. - Don't worry about it.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47If we'd moored somewhere out of the way,
0:06:47 > 0:06:50Mum and I don't bother with clothes at all.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52- You mean you get around in the... - Sure.
0:07:00 > 0:07:05'No, Lockie. Do NOT go there. Think of something else'
0:07:07 > 0:07:13(LAUGHS) Stop it, Lockie. You're giving me a stitch.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Oh.
0:07:15 > 0:07:19DAD: Well, that's very forward thinking of you and your mum.
0:07:20 > 0:07:21Not to mention chilly.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23THEY LAUGH
0:07:25 > 0:07:27You guys are hilarious.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29'Yeah, that'd be right.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32'After embarrassing thing that Mel's seen at the Leonard's today,
0:07:32 > 0:07:35'she'll have enough to keep her laughing
0:07:35 > 0:07:36'for the rest of the century.'
0:07:36 > 0:07:40Hey, Mum, what's cooking?
0:07:40 > 0:07:42To be perfectly honest...
0:07:42 > 0:07:43I'm not sure.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44LAUGHTER
0:07:44 > 0:07:48There you go again. You'd have to be the worst cook in the world.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50LAUGHTER
0:07:50 > 0:07:54Well, at least I remembered to get dressed this morning.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56I can explain.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58I've been working undercover.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00LAUGHTER
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Where's my boy Lockie?
0:08:07 > 0:08:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:09 > 0:08:13Aahh. Why the long face, son?
0:08:13 > 0:08:16I just tried to kiss a girl is all.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19You, Lockie? Kiss a girl?
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Now that's funny.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22LAUGHTER
0:08:34 > 0:08:38- What is it, Joy? - Oh, nothing important.- Joy?
0:08:38 > 0:08:41It's from the people who decide whether or not
0:08:41 > 0:08:44community radio station goes ahead or not, that's all.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47- I mean, I'll open it later. - Thanks for dinner, it was yummy.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50- I'm just getting a glass of water. - You have to open it now.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52I can't, too nervous.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02Mel, if you wouldn't mind. Read.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Looks like you've been given the go ahead.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08SHE SQUEALS
0:09:08 > 0:09:12All you have to do is broadcast a pilot programme
0:09:12 > 0:09:15by the end of tomorrow and you're all set.
0:09:16 > 0:09:17Tomorrow?
0:09:18 > 0:09:22How long has that thing been sitting in the back garden unnoticed?!
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Look, surely there's room for leniency. Read on.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28"If you don't broadcast by the deadline,
0:09:28 > 0:09:33"your licence will be revoked and you won't get another chance ever."
0:09:33 > 0:09:37- It's good news.- Yeah.- I'm just going to go brush my teeth.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40OK, you need to get on the phone. You need to contact some
0:09:40 > 0:09:43local talent and be behind that microphone tomorrow.
0:09:43 > 0:09:47On the radio? Talking to myself?
0:09:50 > 0:09:54Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. I couldn't possibly do that.
0:09:54 > 0:09:59No. I'd just... I'd just end up putting everybody to sleep.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Mel.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06- Are you sure you'll be comfortable? - It's cool.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Mum and I are used to sleeping anywhere.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12You'll be wearing appropriate sleep attire, I hope.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14- Nothing with trucks on them... - (Nothing?!)
0:10:14 > 0:10:16..if that's what you mean.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20You can't possibly sleep in here, with us!
0:10:20 > 0:10:24Mum! I-I sleepwalk and I might tread on you.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Yes, good point, Philip. Besides...
0:10:28 > 0:10:31..we can't have you sleeping on the floor.
0:10:31 > 0:10:36No, you're a guest. Come.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46I don't feel good about kicking you and Sarge out of your bed.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48No arguments, young lady.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51And you don't have to tuck me in. I can do it myself.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Of course you can.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58- Mrs Leonard.- Um-hm.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01You missed a bit.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05That was a very close call.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08'Philip wasn't kidding. Having to spend the whole night listening
0:11:08 > 0:11:11'to my brother snore would have been the icing on the cake.'
0:11:11 > 0:11:15I'm as broad-minded as the next man, but as far as clothes go,
0:11:15 > 0:11:18or the total lack of them, there's a standard.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22I mean, what have they got against undies in the first place.
0:11:22 > 0:11:23'That's right.
0:11:23 > 0:11:27'And what if Mel and her mum really did move in next door,
0:11:27 > 0:11:31'and this 36 hours of stomach-churning humiliation
0:11:31 > 0:11:32'turn into a lifetime.'
0:11:32 > 0:11:36Hey. We thought since Mel and I are just next door
0:11:36 > 0:11:37and in need of a giggle...
0:11:37 > 0:11:42We'd just barge in out of the blue and laugh at you.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45SARGE IMITATES RADIO STATIC
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Hello, everybody out there in radio land.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51This is Angelus public radio coming to you for the very first time.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53IMITATES STATIC AGAIN
0:11:53 > 0:11:58- Do you really think I can do it? - Excuse me, not only do I think
0:11:58 > 0:12:02a certain walking miracle by the name of Joy Leonard can do it,
0:12:02 > 0:12:07alone if necessary, I think the whole world is agog in anticipation
0:12:07 > 0:12:09at the triumph that is to come.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14IMITATES RADIO STATIC
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Seems to be a lot of static out there tonight.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19I don't know where that's coming from.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22BOTH IMITATE RADIO STATIC
0:12:33 > 0:12:36WHIRRING
0:12:44 > 0:12:48It's true, Sarge. The whole room filled with this unearthly light
0:12:48 > 0:12:52that can only be associated with a form of space transport.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53I'd like to believe you, Philip,
0:12:53 > 0:12:56but I'm sure there's a more rational explanation.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Oh, there's your aliens.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06Looks like they've moved in next door. I think what you saw
0:13:06 > 0:13:08was the headlights from the removal truck.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Hi!
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Hi, I'm Joe. We've just moved in.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17What's your name? Are you up to much? Wow! Nice garden!
0:13:17 > 0:13:19What are you guys doing for breakfast?
0:13:19 > 0:13:21What do you have in the way of cereal?
0:13:24 > 0:13:29MEL: I suppose we won't get to be neighbours, now that you know...
0:13:29 > 0:13:33- Joe.- Joe has moved in.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36- What a pity.- Hmm, shame.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40JOE: Fantastic work, Mrs Leonard. Your milk cereal ratio is spot on!
0:13:40 > 0:13:45Now then, plans for the day.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50I have a community radio station to get running and Philip has
0:13:50 > 0:13:53volunteered to help me with the technical side of things.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57- PHILIP: Not a problem. JO: Count me in.- Sarge?
0:13:57 > 0:14:00That garden out there, it looks like a jungle and er...
0:14:00 > 0:14:02I think I'm the man to tame it.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06Which just leaves Lockie and Mel.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10'Maybe the safest thing was to get Mel out of the house.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13'At least that way she wouldn't find anything else to laugh at.'
0:14:13 > 0:14:16I was going to go for a surf and you're welcome to come along
0:14:16 > 0:14:19and watch if you like, mate.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23That's OK. I'm happy just to hang around the house.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27You do whatever you like, Mel. We just want you to feel right at home.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35'OK, I confess. 18 hours into Mel's visit
0:14:35 > 0:14:38'and I'd kind of lost the ability to think straight.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42'And being back at the scene of the crime made it worse.'
0:14:43 > 0:14:44MEL LAUGHS
0:14:45 > 0:14:50Promise me you'll never try to kiss me again or I'll die of laughing.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52SHE LAUGHS
0:15:08 > 0:15:14Oh. OK, it needs a bit of a clean, doesn't it? Goodness.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Philip, put that down.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Come on, boys. Come on, come on, come on!
0:15:38 > 0:15:42There's a little bit of work to do, but we'll be fine.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Maybe it's for the best, Philip. I mean, running a radio station,
0:15:54 > 0:15:58you'd have to admit a bit of a pipe dream.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Probably end up with...with everybody laughing at me anyway.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03ELECTRICAL FIZZING
0:16:03 > 0:16:07Sorry, I'm not that familiar with the technology.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11Oh, well. We tried.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14I'm pretty sure I can fix this.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Testing, testing.
0:16:29 > 0:16:35My goodness me, Joe. Where did you learn to do that! And at your age?
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- It's not that hard.- There you go.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40We're on. We're broadcasting.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47So are you telling me
0:16:47 > 0:16:50you've never had a garden, you've never had a pet?
0:16:50 > 0:16:52What, not even a ship's cat?
0:16:52 > 0:16:56I had a ship's goldfish once, but I liberated him over the side.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58THEY LAUGH
0:16:59 > 0:17:04'OK. If you think what I did before was dumb,
0:17:04 > 0:17:07'wait and see what I did now.' Yeah, go for it.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09Pretty funny, aren't we?
0:17:09 > 0:17:12You had a good laugh at me at the beach after the musical.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15You spent the whole weekend laughing at my family.
0:17:15 > 0:17:19What's next? You're going to have a nice little giggle at my pet sheep?
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Nice one, Lockie. What was that all about?
0:17:25 > 0:17:29Hello, everybody out there in radio land,
0:17:29 > 0:17:34and welcome to this, the first pilot broadcast of Radio Angelus,
0:17:34 > 0:17:39a community radio station for you, the people of Angelus.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44So first, some introductions. My name is...
0:17:48 > 0:17:51- Mum, it's Mum.- No, no, my real name.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53RADIO STATIC
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Mrs Leonard.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01RADIO: 'Sorry for that momentary break in transmission.'
0:18:01 > 0:18:05My name is Mrs Leonard,
0:18:05 > 0:18:10and I'm going to be with you for the next hour or so this afternoon.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15I will be talking to you about...
0:18:17 > 0:18:23Well...you know those things that really...
0:18:23 > 0:18:28For example, some of you may not be aware of this, but...
0:18:28 > 0:18:33sometimes my family and I eat our dinners off our laps.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36RADIO: 'Leave the washing-up until the next day.
0:18:36 > 0:18:42'Now by some mysterious process, which no-one really understands,
0:18:42 > 0:18:48'a report gets sent out to all the other known mums in the universe,'
0:18:48 > 0:18:52saying, "Joy Leonard's house is rubbish tip. Pass it on."
0:18:52 > 0:18:55SHE CHUCKLES Don't ask me how,
0:18:55 > 0:19:00but it happens. SHE LAUGHS
0:19:00 > 0:19:05So...I thought it might be quite nice if, erm...
0:19:05 > 0:19:08you, the people of Angelus, called in and we had a chat about
0:19:08 > 0:19:15whatever might be on your mind. So...
0:19:15 > 0:19:17the lines are open.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19And... BEEPING
0:19:21 > 0:19:26And we have a caller already. Um...
0:19:27 > 0:19:31- Hello?- 'Hi.'
0:19:31 > 0:19:36I just wanted to say that... even though certain people,
0:19:36 > 0:19:38RADIO: 'who I won't mention by name,
0:19:38 > 0:19:43'might think I'm just a big pain the bum,'
0:19:43 > 0:19:47certain people should also know that up until about ten minutes ago
0:19:47 > 0:19:52I was having one of the best weekends I can ever remember,
0:19:52 > 0:19:58in all sorts of ways. For example, a certain person's mother
0:19:58 > 0:20:02'is a totally brilliant, inventive cook,'
0:20:02 > 0:20:07and certain people might also want to know that...
0:20:07 > 0:20:11even though I laughed at a certain incident that happened at the beach,
0:20:11 > 0:20:16it was probably just because I was embarrassed and I didn't want to,
0:20:16 > 0:20:19you know, stop us from being mates.
0:20:19 > 0:20:27Well, if that is the case...I think a certain person
0:20:27 > 0:20:31- RADIO: 'should call in and apologise. - Yeah, well,'
0:20:31 > 0:20:34they could if they liked.
0:20:34 > 0:20:35BEEPING
0:20:38 > 0:20:42RADIO: 'Hello. It's a certain person here.'
0:20:42 > 0:20:46I'd just like to say...
0:20:46 > 0:20:49I'm glad your caller had a really great weekend and she's welcome
0:20:49 > 0:20:52to come back and stay any time she likes.
0:20:52 > 0:20:53- Really?- 'Yeah.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56'And a certain person would also like to say'
0:20:56 > 0:20:59he's sorry he's been such a loser lately,
0:20:59 > 0:21:02'when it was only a week ago that he thought you were
0:21:02 > 0:21:05- 'one of the best mates anyone could have.'- Yeah.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Well, I suppose you can't help being a loser,
0:21:07 > 0:21:11'seeing as how you are one.'
0:21:11 > 0:21:14'So I guess what Mel was saying
0:21:14 > 0:21:17'was that over the weekend, she got a close up squiz at the Leonards,
0:21:17 > 0:21:21'in their undies and, strangely enough, she didn't think
0:21:21 > 0:21:23'we were some weird, mutant family,
0:21:23 > 0:21:27'even on Saturday afternoons.'
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:21:46 > 0:21:48E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk