Crimes of the Heartless

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06# Worlds away from anyone They were finding themselves out in the sun

0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Worlds away from anyone

0:00:09 > 0:00:12# They were finding themselves out in the sun

0:00:12 > 0:00:18# There was just enough to get that far away... #

0:00:32 > 0:00:33'The human heart is an amazing thing.

0:00:33 > 0:00:36'On the one hand, it's just a bunch of valves

0:00:36 > 0:00:39'running on electricity, just a big pump,

0:00:39 > 0:00:41'banging away in your chest.

0:00:41 > 0:00:44'100,000 beats a day, 35 million beats a year.

0:00:44 > 0:00:47'But it does a whole heap of other complicated stuff, too -

0:00:47 > 0:00:51'wild stuff, like love and joy,

0:00:51 > 0:00:54'and stuff tough, like heartache and heartbreak.'

0:00:54 > 0:00:56It's broken.

0:00:59 > 0:01:03'Sarge reckons if you look at the worst-crimes of all-times list,

0:01:03 > 0:01:05'right at the top is heartlessness.'

0:01:05 > 0:01:07Over here, people.

0:01:07 > 0:01:08Try and keep up, please.

0:01:08 > 0:01:11'He reckons once you become heartless,

0:01:11 > 0:01:13'you forget other people's feelings

0:01:13 > 0:01:15'and start doing all sorts of scary things.'

0:01:15 > 0:01:22So, next stop on Le Grand Tour. Pilates studio to your right.

0:01:22 > 0:01:27And over here, a disco-come-bingo facility.

0:01:27 > 0:01:30All of which is still technically public land.

0:01:30 > 0:01:34- Strictly speaking, you're trespassing. - I think you are, Sergeant.

0:01:34 > 0:01:38As of 11am tomorrow, this land is all mine.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42Well, as of 11am tomorrow, you can finish the grand tour.

0:01:42 > 0:01:46Come on, Sergeant. These folk don't get around so easily.

0:01:46 > 0:01:48- Have a heart. - Oh, I have a heart, Barry.

0:01:49 > 0:01:50You?

0:01:51 > 0:01:54I'll be back. As for you and your family, Sergeant,

0:01:54 > 0:01:56you're a bunch of dreamers.

0:01:56 > 0:02:00You're exactly the kind of people that are holding this town back.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02You need to move with the times

0:02:02 > 0:02:04or risk being run over.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08'But Mr Streeton wasn't the real master of heartlessness.'

0:02:11 > 0:02:13Come on! Not me again.

0:02:13 > 0:02:16'But I probably could be...' MOBILE RINGS

0:02:16 > 0:02:20'..so it was probably my fault that Mel was back to her old tricks.'

0:02:20 > 0:02:24- Hey, Jess, long time no see. - You!

0:02:24 > 0:02:25Out!

0:02:28 > 0:02:30- That was fast.- Melanie, out!

0:02:30 > 0:02:34You really need to relax. Have you tried camomile tea?

0:02:34 > 0:02:36Out, out! Out, out, out.

0:02:36 > 0:02:39Out!!!

0:02:39 > 0:02:41BELL RINGS

0:02:41 > 0:02:46- Is now a good time to go?- Now, young lady, or you'll need a stretcher.

0:02:47 > 0:02:52- What are you doing?- Does anyone else hear that? Like an irritating little mosquito voice?

0:02:53 > 0:02:55Must be my imagination.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59'So, in case you're not picking it up,

0:02:59 > 0:03:02'I'm in a spot of trouble with Mel.'

0:03:02 > 0:03:03Lockie.

0:03:03 > 0:03:04'This is me making a mistake.

0:03:04 > 0:03:07'This is me making a bigger mistake.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09'You can't see me because I didn't show up.

0:03:09 > 0:03:11'That's the mistake.'

0:03:12 > 0:03:14I really am sorry.

0:03:14 > 0:03:19'Me realising my mistake, me not having much success apologising.'

0:03:20 > 0:03:21Sash!

0:03:21 > 0:03:24'I wasn't the only one struggling to say what needed saying.'

0:03:24 > 0:03:25Sash!

0:03:27 > 0:03:31"Sash." What am I, some kind of ribbon you win at a gymkhana?

0:03:31 > 0:03:33Make it quick. I've got plans.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39Quality friend time before said friend goes back to boarding school.

0:03:39 > 0:03:42'He needed to tell Sasha he wanted to break up with her.'

0:03:42 > 0:03:43OK.

0:03:44 > 0:03:49Well, the thing is, I think you're tops

0:03:49 > 0:03:55and I think your tops are even more tops.

0:04:00 > 0:04:04So the frontiers of science were given a good nudge today, I'm expecting.

0:04:04 > 0:04:10All things considered, the boys did extremely well.

0:04:10 > 0:04:12The science club presentation was a disaster.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16'Phillip and Joe are known to be sticklers for the facts

0:04:16 > 0:04:19'and one of those facts was that the average human

0:04:19 > 0:04:21'had six milk cartons of blood in their body.

0:04:21 > 0:04:25'Your heart pumps that around your body three times every minute,

0:04:25 > 0:04:28'which means your blood ends up travelling 19,000km every day.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34'Which means, in the name of scientific accuracy,

0:04:34 > 0:04:37'Phillip and Joe put a pretty strong pump inside that thing.'

0:04:38 > 0:04:40I knew I'd pushed the equipment to its limits.

0:04:40 > 0:04:44The staff have no scientific vision whatsoever.

0:04:44 > 0:04:45That's a bit harsh.

0:04:48 > 0:04:53My requests for a cryogenic incubator have repeatedly fallen on deaf ears.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56The faculty needs to move with the times.

0:04:56 > 0:05:00Well, perhaps things are just as they should be. Maybe that's the reason you're here.

0:05:00 > 0:05:04Maybe you're the one to light the fire of science at Angelus High.

0:05:09 > 0:05:14Possible. But right now, it feels like I'm operating in a vacuum.

0:05:14 > 0:05:16I'm a bit over cutlery anyway.

0:05:18 > 0:05:21Joy, what's... What's with the...?

0:05:22 > 0:05:24What, this?

0:05:24 > 0:05:26It's actually quite comforting.

0:05:28 > 0:05:32After years of nappies, Mum wasn't afraid of getting her hands dirty.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48MECHANISM WINDS DOWN

0:05:48 > 0:05:50CHEERING

0:06:01 > 0:06:03My rings.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Excuse me. Sorry.

0:06:15 > 0:06:19I just can't believe... I mean, what kind of person steals a wedding ring?

0:06:19 > 0:06:23Joy, Joy, Joy, it's Angelus.

0:06:23 > 0:06:25Nobody stole your ring.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28- They didn't? - No, someone's picked it up.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31They'll be on the station doorstep first thing in the morning with it.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36Such a stupid thing to do.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39It's all right.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42The symbol of our love.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47The circle of our family bond.

0:06:49 > 0:06:51It's just having a sleepover.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53It's as good as back on your finger.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55Good.

0:06:55 > 0:07:00Because I'd hate for anybody to think we'd broken up or anything.

0:07:00 > 0:07:01Shhh!

0:07:07 > 0:07:09'Egg decided he needed some expert advice.'

0:07:09 > 0:07:13Ah, yes. Breaking up.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Your mother was an absolute professional.

0:07:15 > 0:07:19She used to write wicked break-up notes to me in the early days.

0:07:19 > 0:07:22- She did?- Yeah. Five times before we got married.

0:07:23 > 0:07:25Well, I think it's an effective way to go.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29"Two little dickie birds sitting on rack

0:07:29 > 0:07:33"Fly away Peter, fly away Jack

0:07:33 > 0:07:36"Fly away, Eggleston, don't come back."

0:07:39 > 0:07:41She had a way with words, your mother.

0:07:45 > 0:07:46'Speaking of words,

0:07:46 > 0:07:49'if you look up the word optimistic in the dictionary,

0:07:49 > 0:07:52'Sarge is usually used as an example.

0:08:00 > 0:08:04'By lunch time, he might have fitted better under H for hopeful.

0:08:05 > 0:08:10'By evening, he'd slid all the way down to U for utter disappointment.'

0:08:20 > 0:08:22Sarge, it's...

0:08:22 > 0:08:24We were thinking...

0:08:24 > 0:08:26That you're holding this town back.

0:08:27 > 0:08:30- We were thinking... - That it might be time to go home.

0:08:30 > 0:08:34We're only a phone call away if there are any other developments.

0:08:35 > 0:08:39- Appreciate it.- You could always just leave the box out the front.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41That's a good idea, Constable.

0:08:43 > 0:08:45I might stick around a bit longer.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

0:09:14 > 0:09:16Sarge?

0:09:19 > 0:09:23I see your mum's left me a lovely plate of leftovers.

0:09:26 > 0:09:28You should go to bed, Lock.

0:09:29 > 0:09:32'I didn't really know what was going on

0:09:32 > 0:09:36'but I kind of got that Sarge would be just as happy if I stayed up.'

0:09:38 > 0:09:40Did someone hand in Mum's ring?

0:09:40 > 0:09:43'It was like the answer was too much for him,

0:09:43 > 0:09:47'like it put a huge crack down the middle of his heart or something.'

0:09:47 > 0:09:49No, Lock.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51No-one's handed it in.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04Can't Sarge just buy her another one?

0:10:04 > 0:10:07I don't think it was so much the ring, Egg,

0:10:07 > 0:10:09but the fact that no-one handed it in.

0:10:09 > 0:10:12'One thing about Vicki Streeton - she gets stuff,

0:10:12 > 0:10:14'unlike Egg, who was still struggling.'

0:10:14 > 0:10:16What about this?

0:10:17 > 0:10:21"Dear Sasha, we had a lot of fun but I have better things to do now.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23"So, that's it.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25"We're done."

0:10:26 > 0:10:29- Hey, Egg.- How's it going, Mel?

0:10:29 > 0:10:32Sorry, Egg, can't stay. Running late.

0:10:32 > 0:10:34So, I'll see you, Egg.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42So, onto the next second-hand shop?

0:10:45 > 0:10:49It's about one and a half centimetres tall,

0:10:49 > 0:10:52it's round and silver and answers to the name Joy's Ring.

0:10:53 > 0:10:56Perhaps if you know someone who may have accidentally come across it,

0:10:56 > 0:10:58then please call.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00No questions asked, none whatsoever.

0:11:05 > 0:11:06Yes, can I help you?

0:11:07 > 0:11:10Derek Hand, CSVTL Radio.

0:11:12 > 0:11:17I shouldn't be using publicly funded radio for personal announcements, should I?

0:11:20 > 0:11:23Here, my broadcasting licence. Take it. I've been busted.

0:11:25 > 0:11:28'Sarge was so disappointed about Mum's ring,

0:11:28 > 0:11:32'he started questioning anyone he thought was involved in the science presentation.'

0:11:37 > 0:11:39Were you two at the science presentation?

0:11:39 > 0:11:41If you lie to me, I'll find out.

0:11:42 > 0:11:45I want to talk to you about the science presentation.

0:11:45 > 0:11:47I'm just going for a sausage roll.

0:11:49 > 0:11:54'And as the day wore on, Sarge was arresting anyone who even looked sideways at him.'

0:11:54 > 0:11:55You got something to say?

0:11:55 > 0:11:58Save it for the station. Don't push me, mumsy.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01I'll use the cuffs if I have to.

0:12:01 > 0:12:05They say every town gets the criminals its prepared to put up with.

0:12:05 > 0:12:07I've looked for the best for too long

0:12:07 > 0:12:11and while I did, you lot slunk under the door.

0:12:11 > 0:12:15Sarge, I was thinking, maybe if you let them off with a cautionary poem?

0:12:16 > 0:12:17A poem?!

0:12:17 > 0:12:20Yeah, like that's going to make a difference.

0:12:20 > 0:12:21Dreamer.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26Oh, sterling idea, Constable Wattle.

0:12:26 > 0:12:30Why don't we put them all in their jim-jams and make them a cup of cocoa

0:12:30 > 0:12:32and tell them they ought to play nice?

0:12:35 > 0:12:39Sarcasm, Sarge? How could you be so heartless?

0:12:46 > 0:12:48So what actually happened between you and Mel?

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Nothing, really.

0:12:51 > 0:12:52Our lips sort of touched.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54Brushed against each other,

0:12:54 > 0:12:57like when you step on the back of someone's shoe.

0:12:57 > 0:13:01It was her who said we were just friends the first time I tried to kiss her.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03So that's two non-kisses, then.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07That would be why she's upset.

0:13:07 > 0:13:11Because somewhere in between those two kisses, she fell for you.

0:13:13 > 0:13:15We had this big plan...

0:13:16 > 0:13:19and then you turned up and you were upset

0:13:19 > 0:13:23and she was waiting for me and I didn't show.

0:13:23 > 0:13:26Well, it's not your fault I had a huge fight with my parents

0:13:26 > 0:13:28and cried for two hours.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30No but there was still time.

0:13:30 > 0:13:34After you were feeling better, I still could've gone but I didn't,

0:13:34 > 0:13:36even though I knew it would hurt her.

0:13:36 > 0:13:38I don't know.

0:13:39 > 0:13:40I think I kind of broke her heart.

0:13:43 > 0:13:45I didn't care about how she felt.

0:13:47 > 0:13:49Do you want to walk?

0:13:53 > 0:13:56'The good, the bad, the ugliest bits of you

0:13:56 > 0:13:58'and still she doesn't run away.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00'But I needed to stop running.

0:14:00 > 0:14:02'I was the criminal Sarge had been looking for.'

0:14:24 > 0:14:26There's no easy way to break this to you, Lock,

0:14:26 > 0:14:29but I think you're mature enough now to handle the truth.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31I've lost my way.

0:14:31 > 0:14:36Somehow, on my watch, we stopped looking after each other.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41I know.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44You do?

0:14:44 > 0:14:46Worst crime of all time.

0:14:47 > 0:14:48No!

0:14:49 > 0:14:51Heartlessness on a grand scale.

0:14:51 > 0:14:55'And if Mum's ring not being handed in cracked the Sarge's heart...'

0:14:55 > 0:14:57My own son.

0:14:57 > 0:15:00'..this... this broke his heart in two.'

0:15:00 > 0:15:02I'm sorry, Sarge.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13I have to take responsibility.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16It's not you.

0:15:16 > 0:15:17- It's me.- It's me.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28Can we see them?

0:15:31 > 0:15:33Salmon patties.

0:15:34 > 0:15:38Don't bite into the big one, I've slipped a nail file in it.

0:15:39 > 0:15:41I deserve to be here.

0:15:41 > 0:15:45I was sarcastic today. I've let you all down.

0:15:45 > 0:15:49- Maybe you were feeling a little let down.- That shouldn't make a difference.

0:15:51 > 0:15:55Nonsense, Sarge. You have given your heart and soul to this town.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58- And they've just...- Stomped on it.

0:16:00 > 0:16:01Maybe Mr Streeton's right.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04I'm a dreamer.

0:16:04 > 0:16:06Maybe I'm the one holding this town back.

0:16:07 > 0:16:09Something crazy happened to me today.

0:16:10 > 0:16:13We've been keeping an ear on you, Joy Leonard,

0:16:13 > 0:16:15and we like what we hear.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17So we're proposing a three-year plan.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20Sure, we'll start you off small

0:16:20 > 0:16:23but by the end, we'll have made you a star.

0:16:23 > 0:16:25This is our starting offer.

0:16:32 > 0:16:34It would mean a move east.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37Sydney.

0:16:38 > 0:16:40It would be a fresh start for all of us.

0:16:42 > 0:16:44So shall we think about it at home, hmm?

0:16:45 > 0:16:47It would be a chance for you to recharge.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49You could write some verse of your own.

0:16:49 > 0:16:52Oh, because the literary community is just gagging

0:16:52 > 0:16:54for more poems from Sergeant Leonard.

0:16:54 > 0:16:57I am going to pretend that I did not hear that.

0:17:00 > 0:17:02He'll be as good as new in no time.

0:17:03 > 0:17:05Will he?

0:17:06 > 0:17:08That's what's miraculous about broken hearts.

0:17:09 > 0:17:11A little bit of time, a little bit of care...

0:17:11 > 0:17:13they heal right back up.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19Even if they've been smashed to smithereens?

0:17:19 > 0:17:22Even if they've been kicked from here to Calgoolie.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31What do you think about moving?

0:17:31 > 0:17:34It's science central. Phillip will love it.

0:17:35 > 0:17:39If I'm working, I wouldn't be around as much

0:17:39 > 0:17:41for you kids.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43We've had you to ourselves for a long time.

0:17:43 > 0:17:47I think it's about time we shared you with the rest of the world a bit.

0:17:48 > 0:17:53And if you were working, then Sarge could rest, couldn't he?

0:17:55 > 0:17:58When did you become so grown up?

0:18:00 > 0:18:03What's the plan with all the mandarins, Mum?

0:18:06 > 0:18:08Mandarin pikelets.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11For our breakfast meeting.

0:18:11 > 0:18:14Can't make a big decision on an empty stomach.

0:18:16 > 0:18:19The decision's just been made, hasn't it?

0:18:25 > 0:18:27Mandarin pikelets? Whoo-hoo!

0:18:27 > 0:18:29Should we have a show of hands?

0:18:29 > 0:18:31Mm.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34Hands in the air for a move east,

0:18:34 > 0:18:37hand on the table to stay in Angelus.

0:18:37 > 0:18:42- Phillip?- Sydney Science Academy for Future Innovators, here we come.

0:18:45 > 0:18:48Blob? SHE BURPS AND FARTS

0:18:48 > 0:18:50I'm going to take that as a yes. Mum?

0:18:50 > 0:18:52'If Blob could talk, she'd be saying no,

0:18:52 > 0:18:54'for all the right reasons.'

0:18:54 > 0:18:57Blob's been in a contrary mood all day.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00Lockie, your vote.

0:19:00 > 0:19:03I think it's time for a new Leonard family adventure.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05What do you reckon, Sarge?

0:19:05 > 0:19:06No!

0:19:06 > 0:19:10'But we couldn't hear her. We were too busy trying to save the Sarge.'

0:19:10 > 0:19:12Looks like it's five votes to go east.

0:19:15 > 0:19:17That's it, then.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20We're leaving Angelus.

0:19:20 > 0:19:22- A new chapter. - Another Leonard adventure.

0:19:22 > 0:19:24This is us.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26- This is our time! - This is our time!

0:19:28 > 0:19:30'I know, we're acting a bit weird

0:19:30 > 0:19:32'but sometimes, when big stuff happens,

0:19:32 > 0:19:35'you have to say it out loud before it seems real.

0:19:36 > 0:19:39'According to Sasha, the big stuff had already been said,

0:19:39 > 0:19:41'loud and clear.'

0:19:41 > 0:19:43We talked about this three weeks ago.

0:19:46 > 0:19:47We did?

0:19:49 > 0:19:52I didn't want sauce on my chips.

0:19:52 > 0:19:55- But you always have sauce on your chips.- I used to.

0:19:55 > 0:19:56But I've changed my mind.

0:19:56 > 0:19:59Me and sauce, we're finished.

0:20:01 > 0:20:03I'm sorry if I broke your heart, Egg,

0:20:03 > 0:20:05but it clearly wasn't meant to be.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08It wasn't?

0:20:08 > 0:20:10'And so, Sasha and Egg were no more.'

0:20:12 > 0:20:13Mel!

0:20:13 > 0:20:17'But I still had some unfinished business to take care of.'

0:20:17 > 0:20:20Look, I know I don't really exist according to you

0:20:20 > 0:20:23but this might be your last chance to ignore me.

0:20:23 > 0:20:25I'm leaving Angelus.

0:20:26 > 0:20:30Are you going to chuck that over me? Should I be afraid?

0:20:31 > 0:20:33I just spent 3.50 on it.

0:20:33 > 0:20:37If I was going to chuck it on you, I'd wait till I was at the bottom.

0:20:39 > 0:20:41Do you want to go?

0:20:42 > 0:20:45Yeah. I think it's going to be good for everyone.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49- I hope you're not doing a me. - What do you mean?

0:20:49 > 0:20:52I mean, I hope you're not running away because things got too messy,

0:20:52 > 0:20:54too hard.

0:20:54 > 0:20:56Because that would be a really stupid thing to do.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59Which is probably why you like the idea.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04I'm sorry about everything.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06- Don't worry about it. - No, I have to tell you.

0:21:07 > 0:21:11- Mel, I think you're really awesome... - Lockie, don't be nice to me.

0:21:11 > 0:21:14- Not yet. You're not allowed. - I just want to say I'm...

0:21:17 > 0:21:19Best 3.50 I ever spent, I reckon.

0:21:21 > 0:21:22Goodbye, Lockie.

0:21:22 > 0:21:24It was nice knowing you.

0:21:30 > 0:21:32Is it true?

0:21:33 > 0:21:35Wow.

0:21:35 > 0:21:36Yep.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40- And this is definitely not a joke? - No.

0:21:40 > 0:21:45Why are you looking so hard done by? You're the one going back to boarding school next week.

0:21:45 > 0:21:46You're both leaving me.

0:21:46 > 0:21:50Well, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, Egg.

0:21:53 > 0:21:56'Although I'm thinking, if my heart grew any fonder,

0:21:56 > 0:21:58'I reckon it would explode.

0:22:02 > 0:22:06'The same part of your body can make you feel like the most important person in the world

0:22:06 > 0:22:09'or as low as a cockroach.'

0:22:19 > 0:22:22BLOB CRIES

0:22:22 > 0:22:24She really is in a feral mood today.

0:22:27 > 0:22:29'And the most amazing thing?

0:22:29 > 0:22:32'Even the heart you think's been broken in two,

0:22:32 > 0:22:35'somehow, and almost as if by magic,

0:22:35 > 0:22:37'it can heal itself, can start beating again...

0:22:38 > 0:22:40'all on its own.'

0:22:45 > 0:22:47Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:22:47 > 0:22:49Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk