0:00:02 > 0:00:03# Worlds away from anyone
0:00:03 > 0:00:06# They were burnin' themselves out in the sun
0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Worlds away from anyone
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# They were burnin' themselves out in the sun
0:00:12 > 0:00:14# There was just enough
0:00:14 > 0:00:18# To get that far away
0:00:20 > 0:00:24# Doo doo-doo-doo
0:00:24 > 0:00:28# Doo doo-doo-doo-ooh-ooh
0:00:28 > 0:00:30# Doo doo-doo-doo...
0:00:31 > 0:00:33'Maps. They're quite good, really.
0:00:33 > 0:00:37'We use them to decide where we're going. Where to turn.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39'When to stop.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42'All very useful when you're lost.'
0:00:42 > 0:00:46- If we double back and take this track...- We hit the swamp. Turn now.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49- And end up in the sand dunes. - Get us out!
0:00:49 > 0:00:53'Unfortunately, it was another kind of map I was needing right now.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56'Why couldn't we have maps for life?'
0:00:58 > 0:01:03Because Vicki and I had taken a wrong turn and got to a bad place.'
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Where do we go from here?
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Um...
0:01:10 > 0:01:14- You have to decide, Lockie.- 'Yup. We were truly lost.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18'So how did we get to be in such a bad place?'
0:01:22 > 0:01:24'Some people are lucky.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28'They know where they are and are happy to stay put.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30'Take Mum and Sarge, for example.'
0:01:30 > 0:01:34Milk...bread...
0:01:34 > 0:01:36electrical tape...
0:01:37 > 0:01:39cornflakes...
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Do we need more eggs?
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Our girls are laying them faster than we can eat them!
0:01:47 > 0:01:52- Can't get better than this, can it, Joy?- Sure can't, Sarge.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Better write down ice-cream.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Mum and Sarge didn't need a life map.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02They had reached their ultimate destination - their comfort zone.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Strawberry or chocolate?
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Morning!
0:02:06 > 0:02:09- Morning!- What's for breakfast, Mum?
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Devilled fried eggs. My new recipe.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Excellent. I'm famished! I've been up since the crack!
0:02:20 > 0:02:22You on the verge of a breakthrough?
0:02:22 > 0:02:27I can't reveal too much, but I've almost patented my backscratcher.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31I'll need your support tonight, Mum. Are you on board for snacks?
0:02:31 > 0:02:33I'll make egg sandwiches.
0:02:33 > 0:02:38- I'll need extra pickles to get this one done.- I'll buy a new jar!
0:02:38 > 0:02:43Sarge, we need to fix that faulty power circuit in the shed.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47I can't risk my work with an unreliable power supply.
0:02:47 > 0:02:52- I'll get it fixed by the end of the school day.- Perfect.
0:02:52 > 0:02:57Let's see...I finish school by 15:15, home by 15:57.
0:02:57 > 0:03:03- I need to be in my shed by 16:02. Shall we synchronise watches?- Mm.- Mm.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Phillip thought he'd reached his comfort zone, too.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10But actually, he was heading towards a great big danger zone.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23He had become engrossed in equations and experiments.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27He didn't realise he topped the school's Most Wanted list.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48HE WHIMPERS
0:03:48 > 0:03:50BELL RINGS
0:03:56 > 0:03:57That kid...
0:03:57 > 0:04:01must have taken a wrong turn from Weirdsville.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15He's on the approach. Over and out.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Sorry, Phillip - toilets are closed.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26- It didn't mention that in the newsletter.- Breaking news.
0:04:26 > 0:04:31Hang on till you get home. 'Or end up with your head down the toilet.'
0:04:31 > 0:04:33It'll do me good to wait.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Challenging the bladder now reduces the risk of incontinence later.
0:04:36 > 0:04:42But flushing heads down toilets was a bit old school for Kirstina.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44They're more sophisticated.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46- SQUELCH - Argh!
0:04:46 > 0:04:49And I fell right into their trap.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53But Kirstina wouldn't give up.
0:04:53 > 0:04:58So every afternoon, after school, I'd take the fall for Phillip.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03So Mum and Sarge had reached their comfort zone.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Phillip was heading for a danger zone.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09So where did that leave Vicki and me?
0:05:09 > 0:05:14This car rally is the highlight of my parents' social calendar.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18- You going away for the whole weekend?- I go every year.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21You could come with us!
0:05:21 > 0:05:24A weekend together? Perfect!
0:05:24 > 0:05:28'My raging stomach bacteria picked now to tackle Mum's fried eggs.'
0:05:28 > 0:05:30HE FARTS
0:05:30 > 0:05:32'I knew the fallout would be swift and extreme.'
0:05:32 > 0:05:35That is so disgusting, Lockie Leonard!
0:05:39 > 0:05:40She needs oxygen!
0:05:41 > 0:05:45The rally is a big treasure hunt, but in a car.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47'OK... This was weird.
0:05:47 > 0:05:52'Vicki didn't seem to care I'd just trumpeted Mum's egg recipe.'
0:05:52 > 0:05:55- Count me in. Sounds good.- Cool.
0:05:55 > 0:06:00I guess she was happy with where we were on our map.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04Just like Sarge and Mum. Yeah, we'd reached our comfort zone.
0:06:07 > 0:06:12- Kitten says you're a top navigator, Leonard.- He's great with maps.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14I'm OK, I guess.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16I need more than OK, son.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20I need someone who can read maps upside down in their sleep.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24- Someone with the hunger to win! - Lockie loves winning, Daddy.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27And he came first in map-reading at school.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31'That was a slight stretch of the truth! But I could read maps.
0:06:31 > 0:06:37- 'And I did have a good sense of direction.'- Welcome aboard, Leonard.
0:06:37 > 0:06:42And remember - winning is important.
0:06:42 > 0:06:47Because punters like buying cars from a winner. Gives them someone to envy.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50And envy's a wonderful thing.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52It lubricates the purse strings.
0:06:53 > 0:06:58Barry! You're making it sound like we're not going to have fun at all!
0:06:58 > 0:07:01We have great fun, don't we, Vicki?
0:07:03 > 0:07:05We sure do, Mum!
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Hope you like sing-alongs, Leonard.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10'OK, so being stuck in a car with Vicki's parents
0:07:10 > 0:07:13'would be like sticking ants down my pants.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17'But it meant spending the whole weekend with Vicki.'
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Sure, I love sing-alongs.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Egg, on the other hand, was hopelessly lost.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25GIRLS SHRIEK
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Since Sasha gave Egg a makeover, he didn't know which way to run.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36GIRLS SHRIEK
0:07:38 > 0:07:42The more attention he got, the more uncomfortable he became.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- Why are you hiding?- I'm not hiding.
0:07:50 > 0:07:56- They're offering good stuff. Baked goods, homework services...- Take it!
0:07:56 > 0:07:58- Take my present!- Take it!
0:07:58 > 0:08:03- Please!- What do they want in return? You don't get anything for nothing.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05A simple thank you can be enough.
0:08:05 > 0:08:09"Thanks for making me less of a loser, Sasha."
0:08:09 > 0:08:12- "No problem, Egg. My pleasure." - You reckon?
0:08:12 > 0:08:15You never know until you try, Egg.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18GIRLS: Take mine!
0:08:18 > 0:08:20ALL SHOUT AT ONCE
0:08:26 > 0:08:29I'll have a word with Mr Squasher.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33Can't have Kirstina and her friends wasting good boxes!
0:08:33 > 0:08:38- The box isn't the problem, Sarge. You're the problem. You and Mum.- Us?
0:08:38 > 0:08:39Stop pampering Phillip.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41We're encouraging him.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Yeah. To be weird.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47- Weird?- His best friend's a teacher. He lives in his shed.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51DOOR OPENS Hi, Sarge. Hi, Mum. Nice box, Lockie.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Extra pickles as promised.
0:08:52 > 0:08:58I got that power problem fixed so you can continue to invent things.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00- How was school?- Tops, Mum.
0:09:00 > 0:09:05I devised an equation that even Mr Squasher couldn't understand!
0:09:07 > 0:09:12Phillip needs to get a life outside his shed. New interests, friends.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14He'll find interests when he's ready.
0:09:14 > 0:09:19- We can't rush him, it's none of our business.- It's become MY business.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22You have to encourage him to take a different path.
0:09:23 > 0:09:24Mum...
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Sarge...
0:09:26 > 0:09:32It's time for tough love. I can't be around for ever to take the fall.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34Why? Where are you going to be?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36MR STREETON: Totally watertight.
0:09:37 > 0:09:42The Sirocco 6000 was tested under Amazonian monsoon conditions.
0:09:42 > 0:09:43Not a single leak!
0:09:43 > 0:09:47- Impressive.- Envy, son.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52Breathe it in. It's the stuff of ambition.
0:09:52 > 0:09:56The Sirocco 6000 has excellent acoustics. Isn't that right, Vicki?
0:09:56 > 0:10:01- The sing-alongs?- Mum does the entire soundtrack to The Sound Of Music.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05- Isn't that like, two hours? - Oh, she's very good.
0:10:05 > 0:10:10- She sings all the parts herself and plays the guitar.- # La la la la! #
0:10:10 > 0:10:14But we get to join in the choruses. Printed out the song sheets.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18And there are costumes, too.
0:10:18 > 0:10:23Vicki's brother wore these when he was a boy. You can get into them.
0:10:24 > 0:10:28Now, Kitten. What do we need from the shops?
0:10:28 > 0:10:32Torches, batteries, mosquito coils, portable shower.
0:10:32 > 0:10:37- We've got everything.- I don't see any playing cards here.- Of course.
0:10:37 > 0:10:41- Thanks, Billy-Bob.- 'Cards. Cards are fun. Fish. Twenty-one.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45- '52 Pick-up...'- Dad likes a game of bridge after a hard day's rallying.
0:10:45 > 0:10:51- Isn't that what old ladies play? For five hours?- If it's a short game.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55My nana loves her bridge. She says it gives her reason to keep breathing.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59And after bridge we stick cards on our foreheads.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03Then we guess which one we are. ..Are you OK?
0:11:03 > 0:11:06Fine. I'll just get the cards.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09I was trying to avoid a danger zone.
0:11:09 > 0:11:14Mum and Sarge were trying to steer Phillip in a new direction.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16One egg sandwich.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Keep that brain powering.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21There's no pickles!
0:11:21 > 0:11:24I always have pickle.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27No, sorry. All gone. I don't know how that happened.
0:11:27 > 0:11:32- Perhaps you could pop down the shop, get some more.- I'll grab an apple.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Right.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38Yes, well. That is your decision to make.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43On your own. Who am I to interfere?
0:11:49 > 0:11:55But...on second thought...and I'm sorry to have to say this...
0:11:56 > 0:11:58We have no apples. None.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00A banana, then?
0:12:00 > 0:12:02No. All gone. Banana drought.
0:12:02 > 0:12:08- Strawberries?- Floods. Up north. Wiped them all out. Terrible tragedy.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11I'm behind in my current affairs, aren't I?
0:12:12 > 0:12:15So, trip to the shop, then?
0:12:15 > 0:12:16I think I'll stay here.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Operation Pickle Jar had failed.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27It was time for Plan B.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Nooooooooo!
0:12:32 > 0:12:35I've lost power at the most crucial moment!
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Really, Phillip? I thought we'd fixed that circuit.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41Maybe you should...take a break from the shed.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45Until we have a chance to look at it again.
0:12:45 > 0:12:46It's OK, Sarge.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50I have installed a solar-powered battery for emergencies.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Time to bring out the heavy artillery.
0:12:57 > 0:13:02- No, Sarge. No, not yet.- Desperate times call for desperate measures.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10If there was one thing Phillip loved more than pickles,
0:13:10 > 0:13:11it was Jelly Babies.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15He'll have new interests in no time, Joy.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Look left, look right, Phillip. Keep your hood on!
0:13:18 > 0:13:24One day, they'll write a chapter on us in The Good Guide To Parenting.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Do you really think so, Sarge?
0:13:27 > 0:13:28I guarantee it.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Power on, Joy.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40But Phillip, he hadn't really travelled anywhere.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43If anything, he was back where he started.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Tricks, trumps, dummies. Doesn't make any sense.
0:13:49 > 0:13:54Life is full of mysteries. Mum and Sarge are trying to send me away.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58How can Vicki find bridge fun? There are too many rules.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01The rules are based on simple mathematical principles, Lockie.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03They're quite easy to follow.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Well, for most people.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Yeah, 100-year-olds with nothing better to do than play card games.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13I can help explain bridge to you if you'd like.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16'But instead, I was so stressed out about Vicki,
0:14:16 > 0:14:18'I decided to explain to Phillip.'
0:14:18 > 0:14:22You know why Mum and Sarge have been acting strangely?
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Because you don't have a live outside your shed.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27- They're trying to give you one.- I do so have a life!
0:14:27 > 0:14:30- Just like you got friends, eh? - I've got lots of friends!
0:14:30 > 0:14:35- Name them.- Well...there's...er...
0:14:35 > 0:14:39There's...Albert... and Leonardo and...
0:14:39 > 0:14:44- Isaac and Benjamin.- A bunch of dead scientists don't count.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50No wonder the kids from school think you've escaped from Weirdsville.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Cos you ARE weird.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55I didn't FEEL weird till you just said so!
0:15:04 > 0:15:09I figured being stuck with Vicki's parents was my punishment for that.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12How much further, Leonard?
0:15:12 > 0:15:15- It's a race, Lockie. You have to think faster.- I'm trying.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Should be just up ahead.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19There it is - a fork in the tree.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23'So we all drove around in a petrol-guzzling four-wheel drive,'
0:15:23 > 0:15:26looking for a random clue that would lead to another.
0:15:26 > 0:15:31But the most random thing? It was as if Vicki really wanted to win.
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Like her dad.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35You have to try harder, OK, Lockie? It's really important.
0:15:36 > 0:15:41No, it's weird. What happened to us having fun this weekend?
0:15:41 > 0:15:43This IS fun. It's great fun.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45What's not fun about this?
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Between Vicki being into boring, old-person stuff and this,
0:15:48 > 0:15:50it could only mean one thing -
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Vicki wasn't happy where we were on our map after all.
0:15:54 > 0:15:58And perhaps she wanted to change direction towards somewhere...
0:15:58 > 0:15:59well, wrong.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06We've been here before! We're going around in circles, Barry!
0:16:06 > 0:16:09- Which way, Leonard? Victory depends on it!- Keep your eyes on the road!
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Left! No, right!
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Get it together, Lockie.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20Suddenly, Vicki sounded like someone else entirely.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23For goodness' sake, Barry, choose a direction. Any direction!
0:16:23 > 0:16:28- How can I? I can barely hear myself think!- Think? That'd be a first!
0:16:28 > 0:16:32- I can barely hear myself think! - Think? That'd be a first!
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Come on, Lockie, which way from here?
0:16:36 > 0:16:38I wasn't sure. But I did know, suddenly,
0:16:38 > 0:16:43it felt like Vicki's comfort zone was my idea of a danger zone.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46You have to choose, Lockie.
0:16:48 > 0:16:49I think we're lost.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50THEY SIGH
0:16:52 > 0:16:56So here we are, Vicki and I, back where it all started.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00- You got us here, you get us out.- You dragged us into Oldpeoplesville
0:17:00 > 0:17:03- on the fast track to becoming your parents.- What?!
0:17:03 > 0:17:07What happened to us hanging out and having fun? Why'd you invite me?
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Because I thought, with you around, my parents wouldn't fight so much.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12I thought it'd be more fun.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15It turned out last year's rally was a nightmare.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18That trophy was as good as mine,
0:17:18 > 0:17:21- right up to the point when you said, "turn left"!- I said right!
0:17:21 > 0:17:23- I'm turning on the GPS. - That's cheating!
0:17:26 > 0:17:29Next year, kitten, you're in charge of the map.
0:17:31 > 0:17:36So you mean you're not really into singing The Sound Of Music?
0:17:36 > 0:17:40- I'd rather eat cockroaches. - And bridge?- Garden worms.
0:17:40 > 0:17:44I guess you don't want us to be like your parents. Stupid thing to say.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Yeah. Yeah, it was.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49WIND GUSTS
0:17:49 > 0:17:51VICKI SIGHS
0:17:51 > 0:17:52Well, the map.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56Don't worry. I know where we're going.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Once I knew Vicki and I were still heading in the same direction,
0:17:59 > 0:18:01we didn't need the map.
0:18:01 > 0:18:06And as for Egg? It was time to make a decision.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10You don't have to be slaving over homework on the weekend.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Not when Erina's happy to help.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16I love algebra.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25OK. What's the deal? What's she going to want in return?
0:18:25 > 0:18:29Maybe she doesn't want anything. You'll never know unless you try.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39How about a nice cold drink?
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Burger with goulash?
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Thanks.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49And finally, Sasha got what she wanted...
0:18:49 > 0:18:53While Phillip got something he didn't expect.
0:19:00 > 0:19:01I got a friend!
0:19:02 > 0:19:05A friend? As in a real-life little friend?
0:19:05 > 0:19:06Oh!
0:19:06 > 0:19:09That...that's wonderful.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12We must have them over sometime soon.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Oh, they're here now, just outside, parking the Triumph.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18Triumph?
0:19:18 > 0:19:22Triumph, as in... large motorcycle Triumph?
0:19:22 > 0:19:25As in 500cc of pure grunt.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28- Oh. - SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
0:19:28 > 0:19:29A friend with grunt.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Excellent.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Mum, Sarge, meet Marjorie.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53We share an interest in astronomy.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02- A cup of tea, Marjorie?- Coffee?
0:20:02 > 0:20:06I could murder a raspberry cordial - straight up, no ice.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Here's to Pluto.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19After Vicki told me why she invited me,
0:20:19 > 0:20:22it wasn't too hard to endure Mrs Streeton's singing,
0:20:22 > 0:20:25or dress for the occasion.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27- Am I red?- Yes.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Or even play cards for five hours straight.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Not if it meant that Vicki got to experience her parents
0:20:32 > 0:20:36in their comfort zone for a short time.
0:20:36 > 0:20:37One more, you start!
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Fortunately, next morning, I regained my sense of direction
0:20:40 > 0:20:43and with a bit of clever driving from Mr Streeton,
0:20:43 > 0:20:45we all came out a winner.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49Unfortunately, Mr Streeton wasn't near as good packing the car
0:20:49 > 0:20:50as he was driving it.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Did someone put the trophy in?
0:21:00 > 0:21:04Hi, Kirstina, how's it going? Something I can help you with?
0:21:04 > 0:21:05HORN BEEPS
0:21:10 > 0:21:12That'll be my ride.
0:21:25 > 0:21:30Thanks to his new friend Marjorie, he avoided his danger zone.
0:21:31 > 0:21:36So I gave him a special trophy to celebrate his un-weirdness.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38# Yeah
0:21:39 > 0:21:42# Mm-hm lamb chop
0:21:42 > 0:21:44# So I
0:21:45 > 0:21:47# I want you to know
0:21:49 > 0:21:51# Somethin' about you... #
0:21:52 > 0:21:57Yeah. I reckon this, right here, had to be the best comfort zone around.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59# ..Break it down
0:22:00 > 0:22:02# James Brown... #
0:22:03 > 0:22:06No, I wouldn't be needing a map for a while.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08I was happy exactly where I was.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11# ..James Brown! #
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:22:28 > 0:22:31E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk