0:00:01 > 0:00:03FRENCH ACCENT: Putting an end to
0:00:03 > 0:00:06Making wonderful peace with the whole world is a great idea
0:00:06 > 0:00:13but to say that the British can do this, don't make me take a bath!
0:00:15 > 0:00:45have invented the Disarmer.
0:00:45 > 0:00:51An end to war because of some spotty kid's stupid invention. Never!
0:00:57 > 0:01:02The old school spies have had their day and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled, undercover agent.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14villain would think to look.
0:01:25 > 0:01:31Templeman knew. It's research.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33The kids' top 100 rich list.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36MI9 are interested in number eight.
0:01:36 > 0:01:41read about him in science journals.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51He's developing this for the army,
0:01:51 > 0:01:56If anybody launches a missile, it'll deactivate it before it lands.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03General Scarp's responsible
0:02:09 > 0:02:11We're going to protect Dylan? Cool!
0:02:16 > 0:02:20I've arranged for Towser to come here, so we can keep an eye on him.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26St Hope's isn't that big a war zone.
0:02:34 > 0:02:40Ah! Doesn't it stir the blood?
0:03:04 > 0:03:10the army needs men like you - men who can chuck up and buck up.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17By the looks of it, most of them
0:03:24 > 0:03:27fine young recruits for duty.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31(This bird's gonna be a walkover.)
0:03:31 > 0:03:33you miserable piece of scum!
0:03:33 > 0:03:37And stand up straight before I make you all down into boot polish!
0:03:49 > 0:03:52You. Drop and give me five.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58I do not tolerate whingers.
0:03:58 > 0:04:04like, anything pink or floral?
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Drop and give you five? OK.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15What's the betting that she's
0:04:15 > 0:04:19help unload the truck. On the double!
0:04:22 > 0:04:27this in the Territorial Army.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Pack your kitbag in under 30 seconds.
0:04:48 > 0:04:53So, this is MI9 and a half?
0:04:53 > 0:04:57Sir, is there any chance you can sign this for me please?
0:05:21 > 0:05:24So, we've upped security on
0:05:24 > 0:05:35Towser's scheduled to be at a test
0:05:35 > 0:05:39report anyone entering the school.
0:05:39 > 0:05:44I want you to identify any suspects
0:05:47 > 0:05:49I want you to befriend Towser.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Fitted with a homing beacon.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58And remember, for his own safety,
0:06:04 > 0:06:07I'm sure there are other reasons you'd want to fraternise with him.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Sorry, "Join the army, it's great."
0:06:21 > 0:06:26I mean, you're "Dylan Towser, the eighth richest kid in the country".
0:06:26 > 0:06:29for his amazing inventions."
0:06:29 > 0:06:34Yeah, I'm inventing a soldier that's
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Oh, a thermal spectrometer?
0:06:42 > 0:06:45keep you warm in the winter?
0:06:45 > 0:06:49Daisy, if you're done kissing butt, they're giving away free make-up.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54That stuff must be way expensive.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58You should join 'em, before they blow dry their hair with bazookas.
0:08:02 > 0:08:07I didn't guess you were a spy for about, what, 10 seconds.
0:08:09 > 0:08:16because then I could zap you with some sort of anti-annoying device.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Look, I don't need protecting.
0:08:34 > 0:08:40I didn't come in here to protect you, I came in here to check what...
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Quick! Someone's trying to...
0:09:09 > 0:09:12yourself a little more worthy.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19Daisy's homing beacon, it's signalling from the boy's toilets.
0:09:32 > 0:09:36Ha! Once a soldier, always...
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Better start the clock again.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Sir, we've looked everywhere for Towser. There's no sign.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34I'll head back to barracks,
0:10:34 > 0:10:36organise a proper search team.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Aww. Some bodyguard you are.
0:11:05 > 0:11:09If they knew wanted to kidnap me, school kid to look after me?
0:11:09 > 0:11:13Cos I'm good at my job, that's why.
0:11:13 > 0:11:18So it's not because you messed up?
0:11:45 > 0:11:48nails and blisters everywhere?
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Now you'll learn to work as a team.
0:11:51 > 0:11:57We seem to be in a team full of really unattractive people.
0:11:57 > 0:12:02maybe I could just read about
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Sit in a nice, cosy library.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14backside down this course so fast
0:12:14 > 0:12:19I'll feel the wind from it!
0:12:50 > 0:12:58if you create world peace, you destroy the need for an army.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00Try yoga, it's meant to be calming.
0:13:15 > 0:13:20I take it the demonstration's off.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32and its inventor disappear,
0:13:32 > 0:13:36the army's back in business.
0:14:02 > 0:14:07Well, don't just lie there.
0:14:08 > 0:14:08Well, don't just lie there.
0:14:11 > 0:14:17but also maximum brain power.
0:14:20 > 0:14:26You'll have to cross the shark infested waters and then find your
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Tough either and you're out.
0:14:32 > 0:14:38If she wanted us to build a bridge, why didn't she just give us,
0:14:38 > 0:14:49how stupid's she, like, duh?
0:14:49 > 0:15:03No-one came into school, I swear.
0:15:03 > 0:15:10and you're watching my men load
0:15:13 > 0:15:24We have to check all CCTV footage. It's fun playing spies, isn't it?
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Hair-pins are like hankies.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04It was my Disarmer he smashed.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12And again, shuffle forward.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39We'll never get through there.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42We need to use a plank. What, you?
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Hey! The geek is trying to speak.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52the gap big enough to get through.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53And you've only just realised?
0:18:04 > 0:18:08no, it took months to build.
0:18:08 > 0:18:13But now you know how to do it. There's nothing like a maniac with a missile for focussing the mind.
0:18:16 > 0:18:21Look, Lenny, no one came into school but we reckon Daisy was taken
0:18:21 > 0:18:25specs, he gave me an idea -
0:18:30 > 0:18:33I can't believe I missed them.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49just like our superiors when they
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Do you love that uniform, Sergeant?
0:18:55 > 0:18:57It does make my bum look big.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11They will die as heroes, Sergeant.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29And just what you've been waiting for, library boy, the assault course.
0:19:39 > 0:19:50Excuse me, Mr Soldier people?
0:20:07 > 0:20:09That wasn't part of the plan either.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12So you're just going to do nothing?
0:20:12 > 0:20:16Orders from someone who claims he dug out of jail with a pen.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32into the launch console and
0:20:38 > 0:20:43But I've only tested this thing on simulations, not real missiles.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04I thought you were a Pisces?
0:21:10 > 0:21:14The army's about having the guts
0:21:14 > 0:21:16What about standing up for others?
0:21:35 > 0:21:37There's somewhere I should be.
0:22:34 > 0:22:39..we don't want you...crying out
0:22:43 > 0:22:49might have - how you say in English?
0:22:53 > 0:22:59I'm sure Mr Towser is ready to do
0:23:05 > 0:23:08But I have the situation in hand.
0:23:08 > 0:23:13nevertheless, if you're ready to activate the launch console?
0:23:27 > 0:23:29We're at some sort of an army base.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47You, Private, stand up straight!
0:23:47 > 0:23:51look a superior officer in the eyes!
0:24:11 > 0:24:17Permission granted to activate simulation missiles, General.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19COMPUTER: Live missiles activated.
0:24:19 > 0:24:26Sacre bleu! You have made it live, you stupid roast beef!
0:24:26 > 0:24:31COMPUTER: Missiles launched,
0:25:00 > 0:25:04Just like you'd crush the army with
0:25:08 > 0:25:11I launched real missiles, I get scared in the dark... Scarp!
0:25:13 > 0:25:18you'll realise you need men like me.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49One and a squad of reinforcements.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22It was a wrong number anyway.
0:26:22 > 0:26:2610 seconds. Maybe we could try redirect the missiles somewhere safe.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Dylan, this thing's going to work.
0:26:54 > 0:27:01Some hero he turned out to be.
0:27:07 > 0:27:28Me! Look at him, we just stopped a war and he's still playing games.
0:27:28 > 0:27:36or is Daisy not like the most bossy person you've ever met?
0:27:59 > 0:28:01Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:01 > 0:28:04E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk