Mind Machine

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0:00:00 > 0:00:03And in other news, the government today announced the completion

0:00:03 > 0:00:05of the Mind Machine,

0:00:05 > 0:00:08an incredible new device for turning bad people good.

0:00:08 > 0:00:12It is today being sent to a top secret location for safekeeping.

0:00:12 > 0:00:16Flopsy, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

0:00:16 > 0:00:20If it can turn bad to good,

0:00:20 > 0:00:23it can turn good to bad.

0:00:26 > 0:00:30I want that Mind Machine!

0:00:31 > 0:00:35The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.

0:00:35 > 0:00:37Old-school spies have had their day,

0:00:37 > 0:00:42and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent...

0:00:50 > 0:00:53..hidden in a place no villain will think to look.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57Welcome to MI High.

0:01:01 > 0:01:04We have a wonderful new supply teacher with us today.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07Dr Wallis is joining us from Cambridge University.

0:01:07 > 0:01:10Cambridge? Wow!

0:01:10 > 0:01:13I've just had a call from Ofsted.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16They want to inspect the school.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18School inspectors, ha!

0:01:18 > 0:01:22- Nothing to worry about.- Mr Richter will be with us in a few minutes.

0:01:22 > 0:01:27- A few minutes?! - Problem, Mr Flatley?- Yes.

0:01:27 > 0:01:29- We need time to prepare.- We can't,

0:01:29 > 0:01:32it's a...snap inspection, that's the point.

0:01:32 > 0:01:35- I never thought this would happen to us.- What do you expect?

0:01:35 > 0:01:39We're inches away from special measures.

0:01:39 > 0:01:43Yes. Yes, it's a chance for us all to shine.

0:01:50 > 0:01:51I've a feeling it might be.

0:01:55 > 0:01:59A science teacher from Cambridge, I can't believe it!

0:02:06 > 0:02:08If the inspector closes down the school,

0:02:08 > 0:02:11- we can kiss goodbye to all this. - Are you going soft on us, Oscar?

0:02:11 > 0:02:14MI9 will find us another school.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16I don't want another school.

0:02:39 > 0:02:41If it's a snap inspection,

0:02:41 > 0:02:44they obviously wanna close the school down. Where does that leave us three?

0:02:44 > 0:02:47OK, agents, never mind about the school inspector,

0:02:47 > 0:02:49focus on your mission.

0:02:49 > 0:02:54- Agents, meet Dr Wallis. - The teacher from Cambridge!

0:02:54 > 0:02:56Rose Gupta.

0:02:56 > 0:02:58I hope to go there myself one day.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01- Hi.- Dr Wallis is a government scientist, here for protection.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04The teaching thing's just a cover. Here's why.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09This is the Mind Machine.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12Dr Wallis, perhaps you could give us a demonstration?

0:03:12 > 0:03:13With pleasure.

0:03:13 > 0:03:17Behold...the gentle goldfish.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20The machine can remove, or implant, the behaviour

0:03:20 > 0:03:22patterns of any living thing.

0:03:22 > 0:03:26Now, this is something much scarier.

0:03:28 > 0:03:30A Japanese fighting fish, cool!

0:03:30 > 0:03:34OK, think how much better the world would be if we could take

0:03:34 > 0:03:38our violent friend here and give him the mind of a peaceful goldfish.

0:03:38 > 0:03:42That's impossible, isn't it?

0:03:53 > 0:03:55That's fantastic!

0:03:55 > 0:03:58So now, the fighting fish thinks it's a goldfish?

0:03:58 > 0:04:00No, no, it only behaves like one.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03The government's going to use it on criminals -

0:04:03 > 0:04:08- get murderers behaving like lollipop ladies.- What's it doing here?

0:04:08 > 0:04:11We've had reports of a SKUL agent trying to kidnap Dr Wallis.

0:04:11 > 0:04:15- Your mission is to guard him, and his machine.- Why do SKUL want it?

0:04:15 > 0:04:19The machine works both ways, it can make bad people good, or...

0:04:19 > 0:04:21- Good people bad? - Only in the wrong hands.

0:04:21 > 0:04:25Guys, think about it, if we can change people's behaviour,

0:04:25 > 0:04:29- we can end crime forever, stop them fighting wars...- Just because

0:04:29 > 0:04:32we can, doesn't mean we should. We can't mess with people like that.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34Dr Wallis, the invention's brilliant.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37- I think you deserve the Nobel Peace Prize.- Oh, I don't know.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Dr Wallis, you'd better get on with your science lesson.

0:04:39 > 0:04:42I can show you to the lab.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44What's that?

0:04:44 > 0:04:50A work in progress. Enormousizer. It's for making things bigger.

0:04:50 > 0:04:52Looks like it's worked on our chocolate all right!

0:04:55 > 0:05:00Remember, guard Dr Wallis and keep an eye out for that SKUL agent.

0:05:04 > 0:05:07Oh, a Van de Graaf Generator!

0:05:07 > 0:05:10I haven't seen one of these for a while.

0:05:10 > 0:05:15Now, can anyone tell Dr Wallis what this machine does?

0:05:15 > 0:05:17Rose.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19It generates static electricity.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21Excellent. Now, what do you think...

0:05:21 > 0:05:23Morning, everyone.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25Please don't mind me.

0:05:25 > 0:05:29I'm Mr Richter, your school inspector.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32Mr...Richter?

0:05:32 > 0:05:34An honour.

0:05:34 > 0:05:38'Keep an eye out for that SKUL agent... '

0:05:38 > 0:05:43This is one inspection I wouldn't have missed, Mr Flatley.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46Perhaps you should show the children what happens

0:05:46 > 0:05:48when you touch the machine?

0:05:48 > 0:05:51Yes, indeed. Ha ha!

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Whoa, check that out!

0:06:04 > 0:06:08Well done, Mr Flatley. Most inspirational.

0:06:08 > 0:06:10Ooh!

0:06:10 > 0:06:11Ooh!

0:06:15 > 0:06:17He's under a lot of pressure.

0:06:27 > 0:06:30Fine...

0:06:30 > 0:06:33Everything's going to be fin... Aah!

0:06:33 > 0:06:34Fine!

0:06:44 > 0:06:47I've been worried about Mr Flatley for a while.

0:06:47 > 0:06:50Doesn't seem to have the grip he used to have.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52In the circumstances, I could understand

0:06:52 > 0:06:56- if you did decide to make some changes.- Erm, Mrs King?

0:06:56 > 0:07:00Would you like me to help show Mr Richter around the school?

0:07:00 > 0:07:02No, no, Rose, that won't be necessary.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04Yes, that's an excellent idea.

0:07:04 > 0:07:07You can tell me all the school's secrets.

0:07:10 > 0:07:14Dr Wallis...could I have a word with you in private at some point?

0:07:17 > 0:07:20Come on, now, don't be shy.

0:07:20 > 0:07:23Science can be fun, you know.

0:07:23 > 0:07:25Here, we have the Van de Graaf Generator.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28Come on. Look, it's cool.

0:07:28 > 0:07:30It's an image thing though, man.

0:07:30 > 0:07:34I don't want no machine messin' with my homie's looks.

0:07:35 > 0:07:39It powers the rubber belt here, which generates the static electricity

0:07:39 > 0:07:41on top. See what happens when you touch it.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13Isn't it brilliant, Flopsy?

0:08:13 > 0:08:17Our SKUL agent has discovered the secret hiding place

0:08:17 > 0:08:21of the Mind Machine, and he's managed to trick his way in.

0:08:21 > 0:08:25The Mind Machine will soon be ours.

0:08:25 > 0:08:28EVIL LAUGHTER

0:08:29 > 0:08:32< Waaah!

0:08:32 > 0:08:37Actually, I think it might be quicker this way.

0:08:37 > 0:08:40Waaah... Wah!

0:08:43 > 0:08:47Oh, Mr Flatley, I didn't see you there!

0:08:47 > 0:08:49Rivals...

0:08:49 > 0:08:53they can be anywhere.

0:08:53 > 0:08:54Rivals? What rivals?

0:08:54 > 0:08:58Oooooh...

0:08:58 > 0:09:00Richter-son.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05You will take tea with us?

0:09:05 > 0:09:11- I do have a busy schedule.- Tea lady, show our guest into my office.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13- Tea lady?!- Waaaah...

0:09:19 > 0:09:21Waaaah... Oh!

0:09:32 > 0:09:36Oooh! Oooh!

0:09:42 > 0:09:46Richter-son, please be seated.

0:09:49 > 0:09:50Sit!

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Guys, we have a problem.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00You've got to see this.

0:10:00 > 0:10:04- Let's go, come on, Rose needs us. - Hang on, aren't we supposed

0:10:04 > 0:10:07to be protecting Wallis? ..Static electricity...

0:10:07 > 0:10:11We can activate the motion sensors, if anyone approaches

0:10:11 > 0:10:14- the science lab, we'll know. - Nice one!

0:10:30 > 0:10:32Oooh!

0:10:32 > 0:10:34Tropical fish.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36- Very relaxing.- Oooh!

0:10:46 > 0:10:48HE SPEAKS JAPANESE

0:10:48 > 0:10:52I think I'd like to continue my tour.

0:10:52 > 0:10:56He just asked Richter if he thought it was delicious, in Japanese.

0:10:56 > 0:11:00And he's eating fish food, like he thinks he's a fish.

0:11:00 > 0:11:04A Japanese fighting fish! What if he got zapped by the Mind Machine?

0:11:04 > 0:11:07Oh, sure! Flatley just sneaked through security into HQ.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10Maybe the machine zapped him, without him knowing it.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13Carrie, trust me, Dr Wallis would not let that happen.

0:11:13 > 0:11:17Look, it doesn't matter why he's acting like this,

0:11:17 > 0:11:20we need to keep him away from Richter,

0:11:20 > 0:11:24- before he shuts the place down. - Why's Richter so cool?

0:11:24 > 0:11:27Something's not right. I'm going to check on Wallis.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30Stay here, we have to keep an eye on Richter.

0:11:30 > 0:11:33Carrie?

0:11:33 > 0:11:36Waaah...

0:11:37 > 0:11:38A rival.

0:11:40 > 0:11:43A young male.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45Wuh... Waaah!

0:11:48 > 0:11:50I'll keep an eye on Flatley.

0:11:51 > 0:11:55- Would you give me five minutes to myself?- Of course.

0:12:08 > 0:12:10Waaah...

0:12:14 > 0:12:17I'm conducting a methodical sweep of all their facilities.

0:12:17 > 0:12:21Nothing of interest will escape my attention...

0:12:22 > 0:12:27No, I assure you, no-one recognises me.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31Waaah...

0:12:31 > 0:12:33Waaah... Wuh!

0:12:38 > 0:12:40- Waaah... - BLEEPING

0:12:40 > 0:12:43Richter's reporting to someone he doesn't want us to know about.

0:12:43 > 0:12:45I think he's talking to the Grandmaster.

0:12:45 > 0:12:47He could be the SKUL agent.

0:12:47 > 0:12:48Received, Rose.

0:12:51 > 0:12:55Oh, no! I've lost Flatley.

0:12:55 > 0:12:57MOBILE RINGS

0:13:00 > 0:13:04I've just heard from Rose, Richter's the SKUL agent!

0:13:06 > 0:13:08Richter!

0:13:11 > 0:13:13Rose, the kids' names

0:13:13 > 0:13:16are flashing on the Mind Machine. How's this happened?

0:13:16 > 0:13:19I'm going to try and reverse the effects.

0:13:20 > 0:13:24PC: Get your mitts off!

0:13:26 > 0:13:32- PC: I said, get your mitts off! - Rose, it's no use!- Uh!

0:13:32 > 0:13:34Ha!

0:13:34 > 0:13:37Ooh!

0:13:37 > 0:13:39Yo!

0:13:39 > 0:13:42I don't know what's got into them! It must be the Mind Machine.

0:13:42 > 0:13:47Somebody must have breached security at HQ.

0:13:47 > 0:13:49Is there any way the machine can affect people

0:13:49 > 0:13:51without them touching it? HQ now!

0:13:51 > 0:13:54- I'll keep them busy.- Protect me!

0:13:54 > 0:13:56Get out of here, will you?

0:13:56 > 0:13:59No!

0:13:59 > 0:14:04- No, he... He... He...- Help?

0:14:04 > 0:14:07I think it's a little late for that,

0:14:07 > 0:14:09wouldn't you say, everyone?

0:14:09 > 0:14:12Welcome to my army of little helpers.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20Carrie?

0:14:20 > 0:14:22Carrie, come in.

0:14:32 > 0:14:34< Waaah!

0:14:37 > 0:14:40Don't make me fight you.

0:14:40 > 0:14:43I am going to count to three.

0:14:45 > 0:14:47One. Two.

0:14:48 > 0:14:51Three. Waaaaa!

0:14:56 > 0:14:59Frank, it's OK, I've found Flatley.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06Uh-oh, and he looks angry.

0:15:06 > 0:15:09- 'I'm on my way.'- Bonzai!

0:15:17 > 0:15:20The five-finger freeze, it worked!

0:15:20 > 0:15:22I told you it would.

0:15:32 > 0:15:34- We need to find Carrie. - Let's split up.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39Get out of here, man! Run!

0:15:39 > 0:15:42Run? Why?

0:15:42 > 0:15:45OK, that's why.

0:15:53 > 0:15:57Something's happened to Carrie. She's not answering.

0:15:57 > 0:16:01Frank, if Carrie's gone missing, who's looking after Dr Wallis?

0:16:09 > 0:16:11Ah, a fish finger.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14Thank you, Agent Mackerel.

0:16:46 > 0:16:49GRUNTING

0:16:49 > 0:16:51Who are you?

0:16:54 > 0:16:57Wallis. Dr Wallis.

0:16:57 > 0:16:58Wallis!

0:16:58 > 0:17:01I'm supposed to be teaching here.

0:17:01 > 0:17:06Some brute jumped on me and stuck me in here, quite literally.

0:17:08 > 0:17:11My classroom inspection is complete.

0:17:11 > 0:17:15Excellent. Perhaps you'd like a proper cup of tea before you go.

0:17:15 > 0:17:18The non-academic facilities -

0:17:18 > 0:17:20I need to examine them.

0:17:23 > 0:17:26- Oscar? - Rose, you'll never believe this.

0:17:26 > 0:17:29Wallis isn't Wallis. He's the SKUL agent.

0:17:29 > 0:17:32The real Wallis was locked in the stationery cupboard.

0:17:32 > 0:17:35Report to HQ immediately.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40Rose? Rose? It's not Richter.

0:17:40 > 0:17:42Received.

0:17:42 > 0:17:45On my way.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54Cheerio, Agent Mackerel.

0:17:54 > 0:17:57You're going to make someone a lovely fishwife.

0:18:10 > 0:18:12It's just along here.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26Hi, I'm Rose.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42Carrie!

0:18:44 > 0:18:46The mind machine, it's gone!

0:18:46 > 0:18:49Wallis. He must have done something to Carrie

0:18:49 > 0:18:51and used her to get through security.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54- She thinks she's a fighting fish. - Oscar, don't take it personally.

0:18:54 > 0:18:58He messed with Carrie's mind. That's personal.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00You need to keep a clear head.

0:19:00 > 0:19:02Wait.

0:19:05 > 0:19:08The enormaciser.

0:19:08 > 0:19:10I thought it was a work in progress.

0:19:12 > 0:19:16Flatley's net. Good idea.

0:19:16 > 0:19:18I was sure it was Richter.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20That handheld computer thing.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23I thought he was controlling the mind machine remotely.

0:19:23 > 0:19:27Not him. Wallis. He must have plugged into the mind machine.

0:19:27 > 0:19:29Does the mind machine have a wireless connection?

0:19:29 > 0:19:31Just as a back-up.

0:19:31 > 0:19:34It's never been tested. Where were the children

0:19:34 > 0:19:37- when they were affected? - The Van de Graaff generator.

0:19:37 > 0:19:40They all touched it, even Flatley. The SKUL agent must have hacked

0:19:40 > 0:19:43into the network and linked the two machines.

0:19:43 > 0:19:44Get up there and check it out.

0:19:44 > 0:19:49Hang on. If Richter's not the SKUL agent, that means

0:19:49 > 0:19:50he really is the Ofsted inspector.

0:19:50 > 0:19:54So any minute now, he's going to bump into a bunch of kids

0:19:54 > 0:19:57- who think they're Japanese fighting fish.- And close down the school.

0:19:57 > 0:20:01Look on the bright side, at least Flatley's out of the way.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04Wooo!

0:20:04 > 0:20:06Whah!

0:20:08 > 0:20:10Wooo!

0:20:13 > 0:20:14Vengeance!

0:20:56 > 0:21:00Wooo! Honourable adversary.

0:21:04 > 0:21:07By great piranha,

0:21:07 > 0:21:09say your prayers!

0:21:28 > 0:21:32Frank, there's a wireless connection, but it's not reversible.

0:21:32 > 0:21:37- We need the mind machine. - Grandmaster, the device is ours.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39And I've discovered the secret loc...

0:22:06 > 0:22:09It's not fair! It's not fair!

0:22:09 > 0:22:12You're not going anywhere.

0:22:15 > 0:22:20Frank, SKUL agent neutralised. I've got the mind machine.

0:22:29 > 0:22:35Mr Flatley has had a problem maintaining discipline recently.

0:22:35 > 0:22:38Perhaps it is time to think about closure.

0:22:38 > 0:22:40Closure's one option,

0:22:40 > 0:22:43but surely a new head teacher could make a difference.

0:22:43 > 0:22:46Good head teachers aren't easy to find.

0:22:46 > 0:22:49The school's been here so long.

0:22:49 > 0:22:52It would be a tragedy.

0:22:52 > 0:22:56Obviously, I hate to push myself forward...

0:22:56 > 0:22:58Yes, it would be a shame.

0:22:58 > 0:23:00I suppose you do know the school.

0:23:01 > 0:23:05I think I'd like to see the gymnasium before I make a decision.

0:23:13 > 0:23:16- Good work, Oscar.- Not quite.

0:23:16 > 0:23:18He dropped the mind machine. I think it's broken.

0:23:18 > 0:23:21Just have to fix it then, won't we?

0:23:21 > 0:23:22No, no, it's mine!

0:23:22 > 0:23:24No. No way.

0:23:26 > 0:23:29The kids. Flatley. Richter.

0:23:29 > 0:23:32They're all heading for the gym!

0:23:33 > 0:23:36Rose, how are we doing?

0:23:38 > 0:23:41The wireless function's destabilised.

0:23:41 > 0:23:44If we override, could we get a temporary boost on the resonance?

0:23:44 > 0:23:48It's never been tested. I don't even know if it works.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51Time we found out then.

0:24:07 > 0:24:11Fry of impudence!

0:24:18 > 0:24:20Rose, come on.

0:24:20 > 0:24:23We need that wi-fi connection.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25OK. Here we go.

0:24:28 > 0:24:31The gymnasium's been rather under-used of late.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34< Woooo!

0:24:53 > 0:24:56Mr Flatley?

0:24:56 > 0:24:58Mr Richter.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01I, erm...

0:25:01 > 0:25:04Just a little Tai Chi.

0:25:04 > 0:25:06Right, well, that's...

0:25:08 > 0:25:11Excellent.

0:25:11 > 0:25:14Boys and girls, I'm sorry to interrupt your exercise.

0:25:14 > 0:25:19I'm afraid I have a personal reason for wanting to inspect your school.

0:25:19 > 0:25:25I was a pupil at St Hope's myself, 1967 to 1976.

0:25:25 > 0:25:27My colleagues wanted to close your school.

0:25:29 > 0:25:33Our school. They didn't want me to inspect it.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35They thought someone would recognise me

0:25:35 > 0:25:39and exploit my sentimental nature. I admit I was beginning to think

0:25:39 > 0:25:42they were right about closing the school.

0:25:42 > 0:25:43Until...

0:25:43 > 0:25:46I saw Mr Flatley here.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Working through his lunchtime

0:25:48 > 0:25:52despite all the pressure that he's been under.

0:25:52 > 0:25:54You don't know how lucky you are to have him.

0:25:57 > 0:26:01Pity all the staff don't have the same attitude to teamwork.

0:26:07 > 0:26:11Well, that all seemed to go very smoothly.

0:26:11 > 0:26:14Well done, children. Carry on.

0:26:23 > 0:26:27- St Hope's is safe. - Come on, we had it under control.

0:26:27 > 0:26:29I just...

0:26:29 > 0:26:32Well, I like it here. A lot.

0:26:35 > 0:26:39Cambridge scientist? I can't believe I didn't realise.

0:26:39 > 0:26:41What are you doing?

0:26:41 > 0:26:43The technology is too dangerous.

0:26:43 > 0:26:45You can't!

0:26:45 > 0:26:47Your classmates were almost permanently fishified

0:26:47 > 0:26:50because of this machine. If that impostor had succeeded...

0:26:50 > 0:26:52- But he didn't!- Only just.

0:26:55 > 0:27:00At least you didn't let yourself get zapped by a SKUL agent.

0:27:00 > 0:27:04At least you were with the right guy. I thought it was Richter.

0:27:04 > 0:27:07By the way, there's one thing I don't quite understand.

0:27:07 > 0:27:11- Why have we turned him into a goldfish?- He's a SKUL agent.

0:27:11 > 0:27:14Can't have him remembering where to find us, can we?

0:27:14 > 0:27:18Goldfish, three-second memory span.

0:27:20 > 0:27:23It's the most ingenious device I've ever seen.

0:27:23 > 0:27:27- They're hiding it in their secret headquarters.- Yes, where?

0:27:27 > 0:27:29It's the most ingenious device I've ever seen.

0:27:29 > 0:27:32Then tell me where it is!

0:27:34 > 0:27:39Hello. I don't think we've met.

0:27:39 > 0:27:42Oh, give me strength!