0:00:18 > 0:00:20I don't like to hurry you, maestro,
0:00:20 > 0:00:23but we're due to meet Sydney in a few hours.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Do we have our new movie script?
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Something will come.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30It always does.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Hmm. That's what makes you a cinematic genius.
0:00:33 > 0:00:37Hot, yeah? I'm telling you, it's the hottest script in town.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39It's what everyone's after.
0:00:39 > 0:00:43Original, daring, heartbreaking. We've hit the jackpot on this one.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45- HE MOUTHS - What's that?
0:00:45 > 0:00:49Gwyneth? I've got a bad signal here. I've got to go outside.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59This is the script we need!
0:00:59 > 0:01:02It's set in a school called St Hope's.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Arrange for us to shoot there!
0:01:04 > 0:01:09Call Sydney Barber and tell her the script is on its way!
0:01:13 > 0:01:15The bait has been taken.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Von Tripod is on his way to St Hope's to make a movie.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Old school spies have had their day,
0:01:27 > 0:01:31and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Hidden in a place no villain would think to look.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47Welcome to MI High.
0:02:25 > 0:02:30CARRIE JOINS IN: Well, if you will leave 10 million hanging around...
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Someone's a big Sydney Barbour fan.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Er...it's just research.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- SHE CLEARS THROAT - The complete Sydney Barbour box set?
0:02:38 > 0:02:41OK, so she's one of my favourite actresses.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44- It's no big deal. - It may help with the mission.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47The director we're investigating, Lars Von Tripod,
0:02:47 > 0:02:51- this is his film.- And she's been in, like, all of his films.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Isn't it time you told us why we're investigating him?
0:02:53 > 0:02:57Every five years, prestigious national treasure is stolen.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00The theft is always close to Von Tripod's movies.
0:03:00 > 0:03:05Paintings, sculptures, ancient artefacts worth millions. All gone.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08- The last robbery was five years ago. - Yes, so we're due another.
0:03:08 > 0:03:13- Tomorrow.- But there's nothing in St Hope's worth stealing.- Ah!
0:03:13 > 0:03:14Rose has been working on that.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17I've found the perfect art treasure to tempt him.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21The sceptre and sandals of King Canute,
0:03:21 > 0:03:24- worth millions.- So how are we going to get them in St Hope's?
0:03:24 > 0:03:27I may have some gadgets to help you there.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Inhale then speak.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37FRANK'S VOICE: I'm not sure I like being a guinea pig.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Whoa, Frank, that's great!
0:03:39 > 0:03:43A voice transforming inhaler. It uses sound wave software
0:03:43 > 0:03:45and a helium-based gas combination.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48A portable X-ray machine for revealing fakes.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55- I call it the Sham Machine. - Can I borrow that?
0:03:55 > 0:03:59- I want to see what happens when I point it at Davina.- No time.
0:03:59 > 0:04:03We need to get Canute's sceptre to St Hope's before Von Tripod arrives.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- MRS KING'S VOICE:- I don't care!
0:04:09 > 0:04:12The minister promised the sceptre would visit St Hope's.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15He wants struggling schools to have priority.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18And believe me, St Hope's is as struggling as it gets.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22OK, how about this?
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Either the exhibits are at St Hope's by the end of the day,
0:04:25 > 0:04:28or I'll get the minister to review your budget.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Hmm. That's what I thought.
0:04:32 > 0:04:33Mrs King!
0:04:36 > 0:04:38What are you children doing here?
0:04:38 > 0:04:41- MRS KING'S VOICE:- I was just...
0:04:42 > 0:04:46Rose is coming down with something. SHE COUGHS
0:04:52 > 0:04:56'Sydney, good news! We have our new film location.'
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Oh, good! Is it that royal palace I suggested?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01'Er, not quite.'
0:05:04 > 0:05:08It's the strangest thing. A man from the government has delivered
0:05:08 > 0:05:12two of the nation's greatest treasures for us to display!
0:05:12 > 0:05:14It's a mystery why we do so well for these things.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16We don't even apply for them.
0:05:16 > 0:05:20I think word has got around about our high standard of teaching.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29- We are go. - PHONE RINGS
0:05:29 > 0:05:31- SHE LAUGHS - Oh, really!
0:05:31 > 0:05:34St Hope's, Mrs King, deputy head teacher.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36What?
0:05:36 > 0:05:39No, you can't film here, it's a school.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42I don't care if Lars Von Tripod is directing it.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Er, this is a place for learning.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Not some Hollywood movie back lot!
0:05:47 > 0:05:51Mr Flatley, head master. We'd love to have you and your film crew.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55What a marvellous opportunity for our children to experience
0:05:55 > 0:05:57the magic of Hollywood.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03Apart from statistics, what evidence is there that Von Tripod's the thief?
0:06:03 > 0:06:07The only clue is a fragment of handwriting found at a crime scene.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Von Tripod's famous for never writing.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13- So we've nothing to compare it to. - So we need a writing sample.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16Easy enough once we've got parts in his spy film.
0:06:16 > 0:06:21- We have to do acting?- I wrote that script specially. We play ourselves.
0:06:21 > 0:06:22Even you can manage that.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26- Thanks(!)- We also need to keep watch on the King Canute exhibit.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30- It's just arrived.- I'll make sure they put it somewhere easy to steal.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Ah! St Hope's making history again.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38And for once, it's for the right reasons.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42Yes. What child won't be spellbound?
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Those trainers are rank.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47No support. Think of the Achilles problems!
0:06:47 > 0:06:49That wand thing's rubbish as well.
0:06:49 > 0:06:50It's called a sceptre.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53I've seen better bling down the market.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57Yes, and I bet your market bling isn't worth £3 million.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02It's just as well we have such tight security.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04HE YAWNS
0:07:05 > 0:07:09- There's no way our thief will resist this.- Want to take first watch?
0:07:09 > 0:07:13Er, no. I have to be there when Von Tripod arrives.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16Von Tripod or Sydney Barbour?
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Both.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Make sure you stay focussed.
0:07:21 > 0:07:25Von Tripod must be a clever thief to remain undetected all this time.
0:07:31 > 0:07:35- This entrance will have to go. - Yes, Mr Von Tripod.
0:07:36 > 0:07:41- Kenneth Flatley, head master. - Mr Von Tripod doesn't shake hands.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45Civilians will refrain from touching him, speaking to him,
0:07:45 > 0:07:49- and looking him in the eye.- Right. - He will need a gofer.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Er, I'll have to check with the biology department.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56- He might have to make do with a gerbil.- No.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00A gofer. Someone to run errands. Go for this, go for that.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Oh, right! Then...then our Mr London is your man.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06He'll be at your beck and call.
0:08:06 > 0:08:11Mr Von Tripod will need 12 bottles of Peruvian spring water,
0:08:11 > 0:08:15cooled to five degrees.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22What do you think, Sydney, my muse?
0:08:22 > 0:08:26Bleak, hopeless, depressing.
0:08:26 > 0:08:27I know.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Isn't it perfect?
0:08:37 > 0:08:41- What is that? - King Canute's sceptre and sandals.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45National treasures, on display here at St Hope's!
0:08:45 > 0:08:47It's quite an honour for us...
0:08:47 > 0:08:50I'm not interested in antiques.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53Shame. They're very fine.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56And probably worth millions.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00In that case, I want them in the movie.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05Our heroine can steal them instead of the fake gold bullion.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09- Looks like he took the bait.- Yeah, but who's that weird guy with him?
0:09:09 > 0:09:14- He seemed even more interested. - His name's Cecil D Miller.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18He works on all Von Tripod's movies. We need to keep track of him too.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Ahh! Sydney!
0:09:22 > 0:09:27I will be using real people as actors alongside our stars.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31The karate expert girl will be played by Sydney, of course.
0:09:31 > 0:09:36But we'll audition your students to find the brainy girl spy
0:09:36 > 0:09:40and the handsome heroic boy.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43We should never have let you write the script.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Is anyone interested in auditioning?
0:09:46 > 0:09:47STUDENTS CLAMOUR
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Fine. Mind the hair!
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Perfect. Rose and I will win the auditions to play ourselves,
0:09:53 > 0:09:57and we'll have Von Tripod in our sights the whole time.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00This is Agent Posy. I'm in position.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02No, no, no. Useless, get out.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06This film has nothing to say about real issues anyway!
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- The name's Cole. Oscar Cole...- Next!
0:10:13 > 0:10:17- Hang on. I haven't even started. - I said next!
0:10:17 > 0:10:20- Get out!- Idiot!
0:10:22 > 0:10:26Doesn't look clever enough. Next.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32- Tell me this isn't happening. - We should get Carrie to audition.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35She's watching the sceptre, she won't get here in time.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- Hope they're five degrees. - Like he's going to test them!
0:10:52 > 0:10:54THERMOMETER BEEPS
0:10:55 > 0:10:57THERMOMETER BUZZES
0:10:58 > 0:10:59Seven degrees.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21Oh...thanks. Stiff back.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Overdoing it in the gym, I think.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26- I'm...- Sydney Barbour! I know, I'm a big fan.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29You're brilliant, I've seen all your films! ..Sorry.
0:11:29 > 0:11:33- How sad am I?- Oh, no, I should be embarrassed.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37Dropping everything. Normally I have a PA, but she quit.
0:11:37 > 0:11:41- Von Tripod threw a chair at her. - I don't suppose...
0:11:41 > 0:11:43No, forget it.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45You wouldn't help out, would you? Just for this shoot.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48- Miss Barbour, that would be an honour.- Great!
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Your first task is to stop calling me Miss Barbour.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55It's Sydney. Find me in a bit, and I'll give you something to do.
0:12:01 > 0:12:05We didn't get cast. It's a disaster, we've got no-one on the inside.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Er, yeah, we do.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10- Meet Sydney Barbour's new PA. - Is that for the mission,
0:12:10 > 0:12:14- or because you're an embarrassing stalker-type fan?- Er, both.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Who's playing you two in the film?
0:12:16 > 0:12:21No! Tosca's the star. Posy's just some weird geek girl.
0:12:21 > 0:12:22Great!
0:12:25 > 0:12:26Pathetic!
0:12:26 > 0:12:29It's clearly made of rubber.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31No-one will believe this is real.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35Er, actually, that was the real one.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38We need a new stunt man.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42Er, Mr Von Tripod's mineral water.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43Five degrees exactly.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47I'll take that. Now, get some umbrellas.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Each one needs to be a different colour. Mondays are blue.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58See if you can get a handwriting sample from Von Tripod.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00We'll test it against the fragments.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Sydney, you look fantastic!
0:13:05 > 0:13:07How do you do it?
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Healthy diet and strict exercise.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14- My body is a temple. - A temple...I worship.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18- Has Matt Damon arrived? - A slight change of plan...
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Mr Von Tripod fired him for sitting on his chair.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24We have a new Walter the Spymaster.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Yes, and that replacement is so much better.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31Chiselled good looks, and the camera loves him.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34Not sure the audience will!
0:13:40 > 0:13:45Sydney? I don't suppose you could get me Lars Von Tripod's autograph?
0:13:45 > 0:13:48- He's such an icon.- Oh, I don't know.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51He does get rather difficult during filming.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Oh...I'll see what I can do.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00Lars, darling!
0:14:03 > 0:14:04Sign this immediately.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Sydney, I'm afraid I can't.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10For me, Lars? It would mean a lot.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Of course. For you, anything.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Cecil always signs my autographs.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22The maestro hurt his wrists directing an action movie years ago.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Is that man wearing green?!
0:14:26 > 0:14:30It's bad luck! Get him off the set!
0:14:33 > 0:14:36Um...why did Cecil sign it?
0:14:36 > 0:14:37He always does.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Oh, don't look so disappointed. You can have mine too.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Might be worth something one day.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47- This is my last film. - But you're too young to retire.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51Oh, you're sweet. But that's the reality of being an actress.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54Once you start showing your age, you're on the scrapheap.
0:14:54 > 0:14:58Couldn't you... You know, I mean lots of people...
0:14:58 > 0:15:04- Couldn't you have work done? - You're right, but it's not for me.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06You become a professional fake.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09No, I'll stay natural and unemployed.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13Until then, there's always make-up, which is where I should be now.
0:15:17 > 0:15:18We're meant to be working?
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Tripod's autograph here for analysis.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24- Well done.- Except he didn't sign it.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Cecil D Miller signs all his autographs.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30- Now we have two suspects?- Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
0:15:30 > 0:15:34- I need to check the writing in HQ. - Thanks for watching the sceptre.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- Keep an eye on Von Tripod and Cecil. - Rose?
0:15:37 > 0:15:41Don't lose that note book. I want to keep Sydney's autograph.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Stalker.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Come on, team.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54You're kids, you can run faster than me.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56After him.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59Come on, guys, let's get him.
0:16:07 > 0:16:08Cut!
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Why is her wearing that hat?
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Scoop always wears his hat.
0:16:14 > 0:16:19Can we have a break? We have been working for an hour!
0:16:19 > 0:16:23Get used to it. The average shooting day is 13 hours long.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Yeah, that's not going to work for me.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29I need at least 12 hours beauty sleep every night.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31New chair for the maestro.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Why does he need a new chair?
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Arrrrgh!
0:16:35 > 0:16:37HE SCREAMS
0:16:40 > 0:16:44Now, take five, everyone. I'll look after this.
0:16:49 > 0:16:54Oscar-winning performance, but faster running next time.
0:17:03 > 0:17:04Are you OK?
0:17:04 > 0:17:07- I'm fine.- I love it when you do action scenes.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11I know you did all your own stunts in Mission Just Possible.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14That was nothing compared to Where Beagles Dare.
0:17:14 > 0:17:15I was hanging off a ski lift.
0:17:15 > 0:17:19Um, Where Beagles Dare? But you weren't in that, were you?
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Would you be a sweetheart and get me a juice?
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Sure.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31Sydney's struggling with her action sequences.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34- Yet she looks in such great shape. - Forget Sydney.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38What's the sceptre doing here? I thought Frank was watching it.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41He's probably busy with Tripod's demands.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Doesn't matter, we can see from here.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Carrie, will you help me go over my lines in my room for a bit?
0:18:09 > 0:18:10Of course I will.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22It's no good, I need my glasses.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Don't tell anyone I wear them.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27My lips are sealed.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31- That's a lovely necklace.- What?
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Oh, yes, it's nice, isn't it?
0:18:34 > 0:18:39- That's weird. It seems all Von Tripod's lead actresses wear it.- Yes.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Bit of a tradition.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45Actually, I'm going back into make-up. I'm due on again soon.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52I'll just wait here...
0:19:00 > 0:19:07Tosca, I need to get back to HQ to run a sp...spectre sonic analysis...
0:19:07 > 0:19:10And an NDA diagram.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13I...um...and a DNA sample.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17These lines are rubbish! No-one talks like this in real life.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24No! You've got a green one! The maestro doesn't like green.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Unlucky! Get it off the set!
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Don't worry, Frank, not everyone is cut out
0:19:32 > 0:19:36for this high-pressure film world like Lars and I.
0:19:36 > 0:19:42Mr Flatley, these reports need signing... Today!
0:19:42 > 0:19:45But I'm about to do my close up.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48What is this?
0:19:48 > 0:19:54I asked for a spy base! This looks nothing like one!
0:19:54 > 0:19:56New chair for the director!
0:20:03 > 0:20:07What beautiful eyes, skin, teeth.
0:20:07 > 0:20:13Yes, you have... You could play... Cleopatra.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15I've got a proper job, thank you.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Not flouncing around with actors all day.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19SHE SIGHS
0:20:19 > 0:20:21HE CHUCKLES
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Actors, to positions!
0:20:23 > 0:20:28That's me, Oscar, this scene is very exciting.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31I get to use my deodorant spray-gadget thingy.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Apparently, they built a real one.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Props!
0:20:37 > 0:20:39- Careful.- That was my fault...
0:20:41 > 0:20:42- It's a fake.- Give me that.
0:20:42 > 0:20:47Of course it's a fake, Oscar. They wouldn't use the real one in a film.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49The real one is still in the foyer.
0:21:17 > 0:21:22Carrie, the real sceptre is in the case!
0:21:22 > 0:21:23I'm on my way.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26I'll be back in one moment.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Nothing, after all that!
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Looks like Cecil and Von Tripod are in the clear.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38No, we needn't test that.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Huh? Sydney?
0:21:45 > 0:21:47You were watching the wrong sceptre!
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Von Tripod and Cecil were both in plain sight.
0:21:49 > 0:21:53- They couldn't have stolen it. - Alert the police, seal the area.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Give us a chance to find it first.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57If this gets out, we're finished in MI9.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00We haven't got a clue who stole it.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03I don't care if it ain't what a spy wears, it's what I wear.
0:22:03 > 0:22:04I never take it off.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10- The necklace.- What?- I have a feeling Sydney's the thief.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12She's not old enough.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15She wasn't born when the first crime was committed.
0:22:15 > 0:22:16It's like Scoop's hat.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Sydney changes her identity,
0:22:18 > 0:22:21but can't throw away her favourite necklace.
0:22:21 > 0:22:27Sydney, Judy Trench, Penny Harlow, all from Tripod's other muses.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29I think somehow they're the same person.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31If she is older than she looks,
0:22:31 > 0:22:35it would explain why she can't run fast and her bad eyesight.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39She said she was in Where Beagles Dare, it was made in the '70s.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41It's flimsy evidence, at best.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44You are not going to believe this.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Sydney Barbour's handwriting does not just match the fragments,
0:22:47 > 0:22:50it matches the handwriting of all the lead actresses
0:22:50 > 0:22:52- in Tripod's films. - That's not flimsy.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Agreed. We can figure out later how a 23 year old
0:22:55 > 0:22:58is responsible for a 30-year crime wave.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59Where is she now?
0:22:59 > 0:23:02- In her dressing room.- Go. I'll check on Big Phil.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Sydney! We need to talk.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16This is the scene where the spies
0:23:16 > 0:23:19run through shot chasing the criminal.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Cut! Cut! Cut!
0:23:24 > 0:23:28How can I create a masterpiece amid this...
0:23:28 > 0:23:30madness!
0:23:38 > 0:23:43Excellent, children, so you got parts as extras?
0:23:43 > 0:23:44HE CHUCKLES
0:23:46 > 0:23:48No, I am the spymaster.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50SHE PANTS
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Carrie, what is this? We should get back to the film.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59We know you're the thief.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03Don't be ridiculous, I'm a film star, I have everything I need.
0:24:03 > 0:24:07We found handwriting samples linking you to the crime scene.
0:24:07 > 0:24:08Who are you?
0:24:08 > 0:24:10I really thought you were someone special.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Me, and millions of other fans.
0:24:13 > 0:24:18I am. I was. I was lots of special people.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Judy Trench, Glenda Fairbrother, Penny Harlow,
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Jane Hardyman, all stars, all me!
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Now, out of my way.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29This one's down to Carrie.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Can someone explain what's going on?
0:24:33 > 0:24:36Simple. Every five years she retires.
0:24:36 > 0:24:40Then she has plastic surgery, before returning as a different actress.
0:24:40 > 0:24:45- Why the crimes?- Full body plastic surgery doesn't come cheap.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48There are other parts you could have played for older ladies.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51What? Miss Marple? I don't think so!
0:24:51 > 0:24:55- How long has she been doing this? - Since 1970.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59Oh, From Swindon With Love, my first Oscar nomination.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01That makes you 70.
0:25:07 > 0:25:08Ah, oh!
0:25:11 > 0:25:12Agh!
0:25:15 > 0:25:19- Too slow to stand a chance against Carrie.- It's incredible.
0:25:19 > 0:25:24You want proof? Your sound machine gadget reveals the truth about fakes.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26BEEPING
0:25:27 > 0:25:29That's what I call a harsh light.
0:25:29 > 0:25:33One day this will happen to you.
0:25:33 > 0:25:38- Wrinkles, lines, saggy bits. - I intend to grow old gracefully.
0:25:38 > 0:25:39Nice work, team.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42I'll deal with Sydney, if you can return King Canute's knick-knacks?
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Come on, you.
0:26:00 > 0:26:05Sydney, where's my Sydney?!
0:26:05 > 0:26:09I'm afraid Sydney has brought forward her retirement.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12- She just quit.- What? But she...
0:26:13 > 0:26:15But she was irreplaceable.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18You have worked with her for five years.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22You're right.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Time for a new muse. You!
0:26:24 > 0:26:27You're interesting, how would you like to be a star?
0:26:27 > 0:26:30No, I've seen what the film business does to people.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Your loss.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36You, you shall be my muse.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40We shall make movies from dawn till dusk.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44We shall work every minute of the day, sweating over our art.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48It'll be the hardest work you ever do, but...
0:26:48 > 0:26:51Sorry, hard work, not my thing.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54I plan to become a WAG instead.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56What's the matter with these kids?
0:26:56 > 0:27:00I'm offering celluloid immortality!
0:27:00 > 0:27:02What kind of school is this?
0:27:02 > 0:27:05A school for losers?!
0:27:05 > 0:27:06FLATLEY GASPS
0:27:10 > 0:27:13How dare you call my students losers.
0:27:13 > 0:27:17Is this the face of a loser?
0:27:17 > 0:27:22We may not have fancy things like decent exam passes,
0:27:22 > 0:27:26but we have spirit, we have heart, and above all
0:27:26 > 0:27:29we have a school full of winners.
0:27:33 > 0:27:38Cecil, dismantle the set.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42Mr Flatley, would you mind lending me a hand?
0:27:42 > 0:27:45With pleasure.
0:27:45 > 0:27:47What? I...
0:27:47 > 0:27:51You'll never work in movies again!
0:27:55 > 0:27:56Cheerio!
0:27:56 > 0:27:58Next time you make a film,
0:27:58 > 0:28:00try to come up with something
0:28:00 > 0:28:02more believable that child spies.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd