Vote Skul

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0:00:03 > 0:00:05What do you want done with these?

0:00:05 > 0:00:08Just chuck them in the box. It's all got to get packed up.

0:00:09 > 0:00:11I can't believe it's all over.

0:00:12 > 0:00:14MI9 disbanded

0:00:14 > 0:00:17and it's all our fault.

0:00:17 > 0:00:21The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.

0:00:21 > 0:00:24Old-school spies have had their day

0:00:24 > 0:00:27and MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent.

0:00:37 > 0:00:40Hidden in a place no villain will think to look...

0:00:41 > 0:00:43Welcome to M.I. High.

0:00:56 > 0:00:57The Prime Minister's inside.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Rescuing the Prime Minister

0:00:59 > 0:01:02and arresting The Grand Master for kidnapping.

0:01:02 > 0:01:03This is going to be a great day!

0:01:03 > 0:01:07Agents, thought I'd join you for this one.

0:01:07 > 0:01:08Thought he'd steal the credit.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Attack Plan Theta?

0:01:11 > 0:01:13Agent! Follow the attack plan!

0:01:13 > 0:01:16"Carrie kicks the door in" IS Attack Plan Theta.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18Oh, kids...

0:01:20 > 0:01:23- Stop! MI9!- Grab The Grand Master. I'll protect the PM.

0:01:23 > 0:01:24Agents, stop.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26THE GRAND MASTER: Child agents?

0:01:26 > 0:01:29So our reports were true.

0:01:29 > 0:01:33Fat lot of good that info is going to do you in prison.

0:01:33 > 0:01:37You must be Oscar. You have your mother's beautiful temper.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39Don't worry, Prime Minister. You're safe now.

0:01:39 > 0:01:43You idiot. I was safe already.

0:01:43 > 0:01:46Em, but what about The Grand Master?

0:01:46 > 0:01:48He's here signing a peace treaty.

0:01:48 > 0:01:49- ALL AGENTS:- What?!

0:01:49 > 0:01:51The Prime Minister is correct.

0:01:51 > 0:01:55SKUL is no longer a criminal organisation.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56I'm going straight.

0:01:56 > 0:02:00And for abandoning crime, The Grand Master is receiving a full pardon.

0:02:00 > 0:02:05You can't just let him off! What about everything he's done?!

0:02:05 > 0:02:09SKUL will make amends for every crime carried out in our name.

0:02:09 > 0:02:13What? All of them? That would take for ever!

0:02:13 > 0:02:15I've made many mistakes, but I'm proud

0:02:15 > 0:02:20to live in a country that offers its people a second chance.

0:02:20 > 0:02:24For once, I must agree with the agents. This is a dangerous folly

0:02:24 > 0:02:27and, more importantly, why wasn't I informed?

0:02:27 > 0:02:28Why on earth would I

0:02:28 > 0:02:32run a decision like this past a minor official, Agent Stork?

0:02:32 > 0:02:34I-It's Stark.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36I've made my decision.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38The Grand Master is a free man.

0:02:39 > 0:02:40SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:02:40 > 0:02:43Why is the Prime Minister letting this happen?

0:02:43 > 0:02:46- Some kind of brain control?- No.

0:02:46 > 0:02:49The PM genuinely thinks it's a good idea.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51I'm representing the Save The Planet Party.

0:02:51 > 0:02:55May I count on your vote in the forthcoming election?

0:02:55 > 0:02:57- Why is she talking like that? - What election?

0:02:57 > 0:03:02For school president. I thought, with the general election coming up,

0:03:02 > 0:03:04we should hold an election of our own.

0:03:04 > 0:03:08Do you know, I think Avril would make a very good president.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10If elected, I will close the school.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13- You've got my vote!- I'll replace the school with a college

0:03:13 > 0:03:17where everyone will learn woodwork and farming.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19- You've lost it again.- You can't win with those policies.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22Yes, I can. I'm the only person standing.

0:03:22 > 0:03:26- Vote Scoop! Vote BLING!- Oh, no!

0:03:26 > 0:03:30Vote BLING - the British League of Awesome New Government.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33Yeah, um, that spells BLANG.

0:03:33 > 0:03:34So vote BLANG.

0:03:34 > 0:03:39Carrie, this is the answer. It's all about the general election.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43SKUL going straight will mean a massive drop in crime,

0:03:43 > 0:03:47so the Prime Minister will get re-elected. That's why he's agreed.

0:03:47 > 0:03:50Well, if that's the case, he may have made a tactical error.

0:03:50 > 0:03:52This was just shown on television.

0:03:53 > 0:03:57'I wasn't always an evil crime lord.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00'I was just a normal child

0:04:00 > 0:04:04'who sadly took the wrong path.

0:04:04 > 0:04:05'I can remember the day'

0:04:05 > 0:04:07it all went wrong.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09I stole a chip

0:04:09 > 0:04:13from a friend's lunch plate. The next day I was

0:04:13 > 0:04:17building giant death-lasers.

0:04:17 > 0:04:20Ah, the folly of youth.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22Wait for it.

0:04:22 > 0:04:27I want to make our country a better place for our young people.

0:04:27 > 0:04:30That's why I'm standing in this election.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32I want to be Prime Minister.

0:04:32 > 0:04:37I plan to disband the security services.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40If the people of Britain will put their trust in me,

0:04:40 > 0:04:46then I will put my trust in them not to break the law.

0:04:46 > 0:04:49Just one last question.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51If you are completely legal now,

0:04:51 > 0:04:54why do you still cover your face with a scarf?

0:04:57 > 0:04:58I'm shy.

0:04:58 > 0:05:00PHONE RINGS

0:05:02 > 0:05:03Yes?

0:05:03 > 0:05:06ANGRY VOICE ON PHONE

0:05:06 > 0:05:08Stark. He's seen the interview.

0:05:13 > 0:05:17Why are we worried? He says he'll get rid of the security services,

0:05:17 > 0:05:20including the police. No-one will vote for him.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23Yeah, of course they won't. He's clearly planning to cheat!

0:05:23 > 0:05:25Your job is to find out how.

0:05:25 > 0:05:28Get me some dirt and we can throw him in jail!

0:05:28 > 0:05:30I'm sorry, Agent Stark. You can't do this.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34- I'm sorry?! Can't?!- I don't like it any better than you,

0:05:34 > 0:05:37but SKUL is now a legitimate organisation.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39We can't investigate a political party

0:05:39 > 0:05:41- just because you don't like them. - Well, boo-hoo(!)

0:05:41 > 0:05:45Excuse me for trying to protect the country!

0:05:45 > 0:05:49This order is morally wrong. You're under no obligation to follow it.

0:05:49 > 0:05:52Frank, this is The Grand Master we're talking about.

0:05:52 > 0:05:56I mean...how many times have we had to foil his evil schemes?

0:05:56 > 0:06:00- We can't just let SKUL take over the country.- Please reconsider.

0:06:00 > 0:06:04If you do this, you're no better than the people you're fighting.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06I think we'll have to disagree about that.

0:06:06 > 0:06:10Well, I'll have no part of it.

0:06:13 > 0:06:17Find me something!

0:06:17 > 0:06:21We're going to stop SKUL and I don't care how.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25Look what I just got through the door. Honestly,

0:06:25 > 0:06:28who would vote for a bunch of crazies like this?

0:06:28 > 0:06:31Ha-ha! Um, yes.

0:06:31 > 0:06:32Who indeed?

0:06:34 > 0:06:37- Frank?- Ah, hello, Rose.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39I don't understand why you're doing this.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42Don't you want to stop him becoming Prime Minister?

0:06:42 > 0:06:45I've lost family fighting SKUL! Do you think I like doing nothing

0:06:45 > 0:06:47- while they take over the country?- Then why?

0:06:47 > 0:06:51In a free country, the secret service doesn't run the government.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53If we influence elections,

0:06:53 > 0:06:55we may as well get rid of elections altogether

0:06:55 > 0:06:57and run the country ourselves.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00This is The Grand Master we're talking about.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02He stole 2,000-year-old biological weapons,

0:07:02 > 0:07:05tried to create a new ice age, tried to blow up the moon!

0:07:05 > 0:07:07- He's a criminal! - I know, but he was pardoned.

0:07:07 > 0:07:10If he breaks a law again, I'll be the first to act,

0:07:10 > 0:07:13but until he does, he's got the same rights as everyone else.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Please don't resign over this!

0:07:15 > 0:07:18I'm not resigning, merely taking a few days' leave from MI9

0:07:18 > 0:07:22and as a private citizen, going to help the Prime Minister's campaign.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24No dirty tricks, no smear campaigns,

0:07:24 > 0:07:26just talking to people about the issues.

0:07:26 > 0:07:30- Good luck.- You'll excuse me if I don't wish you the same.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Hello, Mr Voter!

0:07:36 > 0:07:40I'm voting for SKUL because I'm worried about crime.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42The Grand Master used to be a criminal

0:07:42 > 0:07:44so he knows exactly how to deal with them.

0:07:44 > 0:07:48In fact, you could call him the Crime Minister!

0:07:48 > 0:07:51Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Boom-boom!

0:07:56 > 0:07:59- Hello, lovely to meet you. - Hello, nice to meet you.

0:07:59 > 0:08:01Are you voting for SKUL?

0:08:01 > 0:08:03- Hello.- Hi, nice to meet you.

0:08:04 > 0:08:07I'm The Grand Master. Pleased to meet you.

0:08:07 > 0:08:08Are you voting for us?

0:08:08 > 0:08:11That's nice. Hello, little fellow.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13- BABY CRIES - Oh! Does he bite?

0:08:13 > 0:08:16Nothing to report from the walkabout.

0:08:21 > 0:08:23I would never vote for a party called

0:08:23 > 0:08:26the Secret Kriminal Underground League,

0:08:26 > 0:08:28but now that they've changed the K

0:08:28 > 0:08:31so it stands for "kind"...

0:08:31 > 0:08:34Well, I think I'm going to be voting for them twice.

0:08:34 > 0:08:36Am I allowed to do that?

0:08:39 > 0:08:41Good afternoon.

0:08:41 > 0:08:45The Grand Master. I hope you'll be voting for us on Thursday.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Pleased to meet you.

0:08:48 > 0:08:49How do you do?

0:08:49 > 0:08:54Ah! I remember your father - The Great Grand Master.

0:08:54 > 0:08:55Oh, yes.

0:08:55 > 0:09:00During the war, he used Winston Churchill's own secret escape tunnel

0:09:00 > 0:09:02to sneak into the Houses Of Parliament

0:09:02 > 0:09:04to steal the Prime Minister's cigars!

0:09:04 > 0:09:05THEY LAUGH

0:09:05 > 0:09:06Oh, he was a rogue.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08Oh, thank you very much.

0:09:08 > 0:09:10Ditch the press.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13It's time for Operation HTO.

0:09:13 > 0:09:17We rendezvous behind the Bank Of Britain in one hour.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20We're going in through the back.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23I can't wait to see their faces!

0:09:26 > 0:09:27Got him!

0:09:27 > 0:09:29I need a postal vote for the election.

0:09:30 > 0:09:31What? Oh, no, no!

0:09:31 > 0:09:34I'm not going on holiday. I just want to be extra sure

0:09:34 > 0:09:37- that no-one sees me voting for... - Vote Avril!- >

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Vote Avril! Vote Avril!

0:09:41 > 0:09:45If you want to save the planet, vote Avril.

0:09:45 > 0:09:49There's nothing young people respond to better than ideals.

0:09:49 > 0:09:53Free stuff if you vote for Scoop! Free stuff if you vote for Scoop!

0:10:03 > 0:10:06- I've brought the reporter.- Great.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08A photo of The Grand Master robbing a bank

0:10:08 > 0:10:11- will finish SKUL as a political party.- Where is he?- In there,

0:10:11 > 0:10:15probably brainwashing the manager for the vault codes.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Are you sure we're doing the right thing?

0:10:17 > 0:10:19I heard him, Rose - bank job,

0:10:19 > 0:10:21ditch the press, Operation HTO.

0:10:21 > 0:10:25We can end this election right now. Come on!

0:10:25 > 0:10:26Let's do this!

0:10:28 > 0:10:29Not another word!

0:10:29 > 0:10:35You deserve everything that's coming to you.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40- This is MI9!- What?

0:10:40 > 0:10:46I said no publicity for this moment of enormous generosity.

0:10:46 > 0:10:52Is it possible MI9 have been spying on me -

0:10:52 > 0:10:56a completely legal candidate in this election -

0:10:56 > 0:10:59in the hope that I might commit a crime?

0:10:59 > 0:11:01- He knew we were listening in. - We've been set up.

0:11:01 > 0:11:08Well, since you're here, I may as well tell you about

0:11:08 > 0:11:12Organisation HTO - Help The Orphans.

0:11:12 > 0:11:15It's my personal charity.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17I don't normally talk about it,

0:11:17 > 0:11:19but that's just the sort of person I am.

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Let's get out of here.

0:11:23 > 0:11:28"MI9 try to sabotage charity hero's election campaign."

0:11:28 > 0:11:32So not only didn't you find anything,

0:11:32 > 0:11:35but you also gave his campaign a boost.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38People are starting to agree that we should be disbanded!

0:11:38 > 0:11:40Well done(!)

0:11:40 > 0:11:43His campaign may be chaotic, idiotic even,

0:11:43 > 0:11:46but he hasn't done anything illegal since the pardon.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49We should let him get on with it. He won't win.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51Oh, is that so?

0:11:52 > 0:11:55'And the latest post-Orphangate poll shows The Grand Master

0:11:55 > 0:11:58'neck and neck with the Prime Minister.

0:11:58 > 0:11:59'There is nothing between them.

0:11:59 > 0:12:02'Only an idiot would try to predict this one.

0:12:02 > 0:12:05'I think The Grand Master's going to win.'

0:12:05 > 0:12:06Well, he won't -

0:12:06 > 0:12:09not after what I'm planning -

0:12:09 > 0:12:14and this time I'm giving the mission to proper ADULT agents,

0:12:14 > 0:12:16so trot off back to school.

0:12:20 > 0:12:21Mr Flatley,

0:12:21 > 0:12:24I want to know what sort of a man I'm working with.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26Who are you going to vote for?

0:12:26 > 0:12:29Oh, I'm not voting for anyone. Teachers must remain neutral

0:12:29 > 0:12:31in the school election.

0:12:31 > 0:12:33I meant in the general election.

0:12:33 > 0:12:36Oh, um, I'm not telling you that.

0:12:36 > 0:12:38You're voting SKUL.

0:12:38 > 0:12:40I don't believe it!

0:12:40 > 0:12:41Mrs King,

0:12:41 > 0:12:47believe what you like. You will get nothing from me!

0:12:50 > 0:12:53Looks like you're putting a lot of effort in, Scoop?

0:12:53 > 0:12:57Yeah, Scoop doesn't believe in doing anything half-hearted.

0:12:57 > 0:12:59Except homework, obviously.

0:12:59 > 0:13:02Still, making posters for your campaign and stuff -

0:13:02 > 0:13:03I'm impressed.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06No, not for MY campaign.

0:13:08 > 0:13:09Genius, isn't it?

0:13:09 > 0:13:12"Vote Avril for sandpaper in the bogs."

0:13:12 > 0:13:16Scoop, you can't win an election by sabotaging the opposition.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Why not?

0:13:18 > 0:13:20I've seen it on the news.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23It's what the government are doing to The Grand Master.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25Them and that MI9.

0:13:25 > 0:13:26It's not the same.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28Yeah?

0:13:28 > 0:13:30How's it different?

0:13:32 > 0:13:34Oi! What about the posters?

0:13:34 > 0:13:35A very good question.

0:13:35 > 0:13:39Oh, i-i-it's... You all right, Mr F?

0:13:39 > 0:13:40Have you read this?

0:13:42 > 0:13:45Um, yeah. Sort of.

0:13:45 > 0:13:49Avril wants six hours of compulsory homework every day.

0:13:49 > 0:13:50It's too much.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53No. I've made a decision.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Hang neutrality! I'm voting Scoop!

0:14:04 > 0:14:07Organic foods, biodegradable textbooks,

0:14:07 > 0:14:11- low-energy light bulbs.- Yeah!

0:14:11 > 0:14:12That sounds brilliant.

0:14:12 > 0:14:16You've really got us. I wonder who Mrs King's going to vote for.

0:14:17 > 0:14:18Mrs King.

0:14:18 > 0:14:22I hope I can count on your vote in this forthcoming election.

0:14:22 > 0:14:23I'm sorry, Avril.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26Teachers must remain 100% impartial.

0:14:26 > 0:14:29No member of staff will be backing either candidate.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31Vote Scoop!

0:14:31 > 0:14:35Vote Scoop! Vote Scoop!

0:14:36 > 0:14:38Vote Scoop!

0:14:38 > 0:14:42- Vote Scoop!- How can I help with your campaign?

0:14:42 > 0:14:43Vote Scoop!

0:14:43 > 0:14:46Scoop's up there trying to fix the school election

0:14:46 > 0:14:49because he thinks it's OK. That's down to us.

0:14:49 > 0:14:52We shouldn't have interfered with the general election.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55If the people want to vote for The Grand Master, that's their choice.

0:14:55 > 0:14:58And we should protect their right to make that choice.

0:14:58 > 0:15:00We need to make sure that

0:15:00 > 0:15:02Stark's attempt to sabotage the SKUL campaign fails.

0:15:02 > 0:15:07- Agents, I'm proud of you.- Frank? - I thought we'd need some help.

0:15:07 > 0:15:10The Prime Minister's campaign will just have to manage without me.

0:15:10 > 0:15:13This won't be easy. We don't know what Stark's plan is.

0:15:13 > 0:15:14I may be able to help you.

0:15:14 > 0:15:17MI9 are working on something called an oppositron collider.

0:15:17 > 0:15:20It reverses messages sent from the brain to the mouth.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22Anyone hit by this weapon

0:15:22 > 0:15:25can't help but say the opposite of what they intend.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28If you got hit by it during a live debate, it'd be a disaster.

0:15:28 > 0:15:29We need to stop Stark

0:15:29 > 0:15:32using the oppositron collider at the live debate.

0:15:32 > 0:15:36Here, take this - an oppositron energy detector.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38Once the collider's ready to fire,

0:15:38 > 0:15:42it will attract this needle so you'll see where it's coming from.

0:15:42 > 0:15:43Now go!

0:15:45 > 0:15:47Ladies and gentlemen,

0:15:47 > 0:15:50please welcome the frontrunners in this election -

0:15:50 > 0:15:52the Prime Minister...

0:15:54 > 0:15:56..and The Grand Master.

0:15:59 > 0:16:01Gentlemen, welcome to you both.

0:16:01 > 0:16:06The first question - what would the candidates do

0:16:06 > 0:16:08about pollution?

0:16:08 > 0:16:10My policy is to create lower carbon emissions

0:16:10 > 0:16:13from a lower reliance on fossil fuels...

0:16:13 > 0:16:16The weapon hasn't been activated yet. Keep your eyes open.

0:16:18 > 0:16:21Eyeball on Stark. Camera left.

0:16:22 > 0:16:24Got him. Rose?

0:16:24 > 0:16:28Hold positions. No reading on the oppositron detector.

0:16:28 > 0:16:32It could be faulty. We need to get closer to him just in case.

0:16:32 > 0:16:34The needle's twitching. Oscar, go!

0:16:37 > 0:16:40The reading's coming from the other side of the studio.

0:16:40 > 0:16:46..use these resources to lower pollution.

0:16:46 > 0:16:48In my...

0:16:49 > 0:16:50Oh!

0:16:50 > 0:16:53Stop! You're ruining everything!

0:16:54 > 0:16:56Are you responsible for this, Stork?

0:16:56 > 0:16:59Yes, it was all my idea.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01I mean... I tried to fix the election

0:17:01 > 0:17:04by shooting The Grand Master with an oppositron beam.

0:17:04 > 0:17:06You did what?

0:17:06 > 0:17:08This is an outrage!

0:17:08 > 0:17:12I demand that all security personnel stay away from this election.

0:17:12 > 0:17:14The people must be allowed to decide for themselves.

0:17:14 > 0:17:17I couldn't agree more.

0:17:17 > 0:17:21You can see why I want to disband them.

0:17:21 > 0:17:25I really, really...love you.

0:17:35 > 0:17:39And I'm hearing we have enough results to make an announcement.

0:17:39 > 0:17:45The news is that SKUL have won this election by a landslide.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48We can now hear from the new Prime Minister.

0:17:48 > 0:17:49'The behaviour of

0:17:49 > 0:17:53'the British security services during this election

0:17:53 > 0:17:57'has showed me exactly why we must'

0:17:57 > 0:18:02disband them. They are out of control.

0:18:02 > 0:18:05'It is therefore my first act as Prime Minister

0:18:05 > 0:18:07'to disband MI6,

0:18:07 > 0:18:10'MI9

0:18:10 > 0:18:13'and the police force.'

0:18:13 > 0:18:17Oh and General Flopsy is now Minister of Agriculture.

0:18:17 > 0:18:19I hope you're happy now your party have won the election.

0:18:19 > 0:18:22I did not vote for SKUL.

0:18:22 > 0:18:23But you...

0:18:25 > 0:18:26So who did you vote for?

0:18:26 > 0:18:28Voters of St Hope's,

0:18:28 > 0:18:32I will follow the example set by our new Prime Minister

0:18:32 > 0:18:35and, if elected,

0:18:35 > 0:18:38I will disband all the teachers

0:18:38 > 0:18:41and trust you to teach yourselves.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43PUPILS CHEER

0:18:53 > 0:18:55What do you want done with these?

0:18:55 > 0:18:58Just chuck them in the box. It's all got to get packed up.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01I can't believe it's all over.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04MI9 disbanded

0:19:04 > 0:19:06and it's all our fault.

0:19:07 > 0:19:10Look at all the other services they're closing down -

0:19:10 > 0:19:15the police, MI5, MI6, MI17, MI38.

0:19:15 > 0:19:16Hang on!

0:19:16 > 0:19:20- What's MI17?- It's a small service attached to the Treasury -

0:19:20 > 0:19:22a hangover form the Cold War.

0:19:22 > 0:19:25These days they just guard the nation's gold reserves.

0:19:25 > 0:19:29That's it! That's the whole reason he got rid of the security services!

0:19:29 > 0:19:31He's planning to rob the Treasury!

0:19:31 > 0:19:34And there's nothing we can do about it. We're not agents!

0:19:34 > 0:19:39Well, technically, MI9 doesn't cease to exist until midnight, so...

0:19:39 > 0:19:42- One last time?- Let's do it!

0:19:47 > 0:19:50It's Frank London. We need to talk.

0:20:16 > 0:20:18He beat us to it!

0:20:26 > 0:20:29- What have you done with my gold? - What?

0:20:29 > 0:20:31We thought you took it!

0:20:31 > 0:20:33Oh, this is priceless!

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Someone else stole the gold before you had a chance?

0:20:35 > 0:20:38A minor setback.

0:20:38 > 0:20:42All over the country, my agents are going to work.

0:20:42 > 0:20:46Soon I will have every valuable...

0:20:46 > 0:20:48- MOBILE PHONE RINGS - Excuse me.

0:20:50 > 0:20:51I should take this.

0:20:54 > 0:20:55Speak.

0:20:55 > 0:20:58What do you mean, they've gone? They're the Crown Jewels!

0:20:58 > 0:21:00- PHONE BEEPS - Hold on - I've got another call.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04Speak.

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Diamond reserve?

0:21:07 > 0:21:08Empty?

0:21:08 > 0:21:09- PHONE BEEPS - Wait. Wait!

0:21:11 > 0:21:13Speak.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16Foreign currency exchange, empty?!

0:21:18 > 0:21:20Oops.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23You see, with the police gone,

0:21:23 > 0:21:26people are nicking the stuff before you can get your hands on them.

0:21:26 > 0:21:31It would appear things haven't gone entirely as I'd planned.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33Yeah, you need to reinstate law and order

0:21:33 > 0:21:36to stop everybody else committing crimes.

0:21:36 > 0:21:37And you can't do that

0:21:37 > 0:21:40because you sent all the security personnel and police home.

0:21:40 > 0:21:45Unless...I can get on television,

0:21:45 > 0:21:52in which case I could order them all back to work at the same time.

0:21:52 > 0:21:55Yeah, and we'll help you with that...

0:21:55 > 0:21:59as long as you resign as Prime Minister.

0:21:59 > 0:22:02Ooh, as much as I hate to admit it,

0:22:02 > 0:22:05things were better before.

0:22:05 > 0:22:06You have a deal.

0:22:06 > 0:22:10The nearest TV studios are at the Houses Of Parliament.

0:22:10 > 0:22:11Let's go.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20So you voted for the Prime Minister?

0:22:20 > 0:22:22No, I didn't vote for him either.

0:22:22 > 0:22:25Oh, look. It's neck and neck.

0:22:25 > 0:22:30- A free speedboat for everyone if I win the election.- A speedboat?!

0:22:30 > 0:22:35- It's just an election promise. It don't mean anything.- That's immoral!

0:22:35 > 0:22:39I promise to end global warming for ever if you vote for me!

0:22:48 > 0:22:51Come on, we should get to the gallery.

0:22:51 > 0:22:52Shouldn't someone stay with him?

0:22:52 > 0:22:54He'll be fine. The only way out

0:22:54 > 0:22:56is through those two doors and they're locked.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58We'll be watching.

0:22:58 > 0:23:00There you go, Flopsy.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03Mind you don't chew anything wiry.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08OK, Grand Master.

0:23:08 > 0:23:11- Going live in three, two...- Hang on.

0:23:13 > 0:23:17Why should we believe you're really going to resign?

0:23:17 > 0:23:22Because I never wanted to be Prime Minister in the first place.

0:23:22 > 0:23:24So...why did you stand?

0:23:24 > 0:23:29I needed the powers to abolish the security services

0:23:29 > 0:23:33so I could commit my crimes without fear of arrest.

0:23:33 > 0:23:36I assumed you'd worked that out for yourself!

0:23:36 > 0:23:38Yeah, well, em, just wanted to make sure.

0:23:42 > 0:23:43Here we go.

0:23:43 > 0:23:46Three, two, one...

0:23:46 > 0:23:47You're live to the nation.

0:23:47 > 0:23:50This is your Prime Minister.

0:23:50 > 0:23:53The current state of anarchy must be dealt with.

0:23:53 > 0:23:59Therefore, I am reinstating the security services immediately.

0:23:59 > 0:24:01No, Flopsy, leave that cable alone!

0:24:01 > 0:24:04OK, time to resign.

0:24:05 > 0:24:09I also with to announce that I...

0:24:09 > 0:24:12will stay on as Prime Minister.

0:24:12 > 0:24:14- Double-crossed!- I don't believe it!

0:24:14 > 0:24:15Ready for him.

0:24:15 > 0:24:17TAPE REWINDS

0:24:18 > 0:24:21'Because I never wanted to be Prime Minister

0:24:21 > 0:24:22'in the first place.

0:24:22 > 0:24:25'I needed the power...'

0:24:25 > 0:24:28- Nice one, Oscar.- '..to abolish the security services

0:24:28 > 0:24:31'so I could commit my crimes without fear of arrest.'

0:24:31 > 0:24:33They tricked me!

0:24:35 > 0:24:38Hmm. Under the circumstances,

0:24:38 > 0:24:39I resign.

0:24:39 > 0:24:43Well played, agents.

0:24:43 > 0:24:44Now, Flopsy! The cable!

0:24:52 > 0:24:53How did he get out?

0:24:53 > 0:24:56Yeah, it's not like the Houses Of Parliament have secret exits.

0:24:56 > 0:25:01Oh, um, actually, they kind of do.

0:25:01 > 0:25:05During the war, he used Winston Churchill's own secret escape tunnel

0:25:05 > 0:25:07to sneak into the Houses Of Parliament

0:25:07 > 0:25:09to steal the Prime Minister's cigars!

0:25:09 > 0:25:13Stands to reason that if it was Churchill's tunnel...

0:25:18 > 0:25:19Come on.

0:25:24 > 0:25:25There he is!

0:25:38 > 0:25:40Gotcha!

0:25:40 > 0:25:42Now we can finally see who you really are.

0:25:44 > 0:25:45Stop!

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Prime Minister?

0:25:47 > 0:25:49Ex-Prime Minister, technically.

0:25:49 > 0:25:51- Where are we?- 10 Downing Street.

0:25:51 > 0:25:54When we discovered The Grand Master was up to no good,

0:25:54 > 0:25:56I suggested the ex-PM form a temporary government.

0:25:56 > 0:26:00OK. Can we unmask the villain now?

0:26:00 > 0:26:01I can't let you do that.

0:26:01 > 0:26:05The Grand Master's criminal tendencies may have been exposed,

0:26:05 > 0:26:08but he's done nothing illegal since I signed his amnesty.

0:26:08 > 0:26:11- Not this again?- I'm sorry. If this country stands for anything,

0:26:11 > 0:26:16it is justice and until he inevitably commits another crime,

0:26:16 > 0:26:18he's a free man.

0:26:18 > 0:26:20Thank you.

0:26:20 > 0:26:23No doubt I'll be seeing you all again...

0:26:23 > 0:26:24soon.

0:26:26 > 0:26:29He's going to keep committing crimes. That's what he does!

0:26:29 > 0:26:32- And we'll catch him. - That's what we do.

0:26:32 > 0:26:34Who knows?

0:26:34 > 0:26:37Maybe he'll take this opportunity to leave his wicked ways behind.

0:26:40 > 0:26:41Wait a second.

0:26:41 > 0:26:43My wallet! He took it!

0:26:44 > 0:26:48Well, it's an extraordinary result.

0:26:48 > 0:26:51A dead heat between Avril and Scoop.

0:26:51 > 0:26:53Oh, hold on a minute!

0:26:53 > 0:26:57I've found someone who hasn't voted and she is going to vote for me.

0:26:57 > 0:26:59Well, if that's the case, then...

0:26:59 > 0:27:02What did you promise her?

0:27:02 > 0:27:03I just told her my plans!

0:27:03 > 0:27:06No school uniform, free sweets.

0:27:11 > 0:27:12More homework.

0:27:17 > 0:27:18A ban on fizzy drinks.

0:27:18 > 0:27:20Yeah. No, that's not...

0:27:20 > 0:27:21Um...

0:27:21 > 0:27:24Um, no games in school!

0:27:24 > 0:27:26Er, that's not right.

0:27:26 > 0:27:27Um...

0:27:27 > 0:27:30Five-minute lunch breaks! Yeah!

0:27:30 > 0:27:32No, come on!

0:27:32 > 0:27:37Please, this is exactly what I mean. No!

0:27:38 > 0:27:41Frank, did you just shoot Scoop with the oppositron collider?

0:27:41 > 0:27:44After everything you said about not fixing elections?

0:27:44 > 0:27:46Yes, well...

0:27:46 > 0:27:48I couldn't let Scoop become school president,

0:27:48 > 0:27:50could I?

0:27:51 > 0:27:54All right, it's driving me mad.

0:27:54 > 0:27:56Just tell me who you voted for.

0:27:56 > 0:27:58Oh, well,

0:27:58 > 0:28:00I suppose you'll find out soon anyway.

0:28:02 > 0:28:05I've just agreed to stand in the re-run of the general election.

0:28:06 > 0:28:09I represent the Morris Dancing Loony Party.

0:28:09 > 0:28:11May we count on your vote?