Total Eclipse

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03You save his life...

0:00:03 > 0:00:06whatever it costs.

0:00:06 > 0:00:07That is not a request.

0:00:09 > 0:00:12Rest assured, Flopsy,

0:00:12 > 0:00:16the people responsible for this shall pay a very high price.

0:00:18 > 0:00:22The super-projector is in place, Grand Master.

0:00:25 > 0:00:27How could you betray me like this, Igor?

0:00:27 > 0:00:29Simple.

0:00:29 > 0:00:31He's given me lots of money.

0:00:32 > 0:00:34I'm sorry about Flopsy.

0:00:34 > 0:00:36I really am.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38But if you continue with this mad plan,

0:00:38 > 0:00:40you're going to start World War III.

0:00:44 > 0:00:47'The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.

0:00:47 > 0:00:52'Old school spies have had their day, and MI9 must create a new breed

0:00:52 > 0:00:54'of skilled undercover agent...

0:01:03 > 0:01:06'Hidden in a place no villain will think to look.'

0:01:07 > 0:01:09Welcome to M.I. High.

0:01:13 > 0:01:15Now, remember,

0:01:15 > 0:01:19no looking directly at the eclipse, and use the glasses provided.

0:01:19 > 0:01:23Blinding yourselves is neither cool nor clever.

0:01:23 > 0:01:27So, it goes dark for a few minutes. What's the big deal?

0:01:27 > 0:01:30- Goes dark for hours every night. - Glasses, Timothy.

0:01:30 > 0:01:34Here we go, everyone.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40Where's Rose? I thought she'd be the first one out here.

0:01:40 > 0:01:42She's got the best seat in the house.

0:01:57 > 0:02:00Oh! The eclipse!

0:02:00 > 0:02:02I missing the eclipse. Oh, for goodness' sake.

0:02:06 > 0:02:08ALL: Ooh!

0:02:23 > 0:02:25MOBILE BLEEPS

0:02:33 > 0:02:37Oscar, Carrie, I'm sorry, but we...

0:02:45 > 0:02:47Stop looking!

0:02:47 > 0:02:49Avert your eyes!

0:02:49 > 0:02:52Mr F, tell everyone to look away. Oscar, look at me.

0:02:52 > 0:02:56Carrie, close your eyes. Please, guys, come on. I need you.

0:02:56 > 0:03:00More importantly, your country needs you. Code Blue - level three!

0:03:03 > 0:03:05- Level three?- Code Blue?- That means...- A state of

0:03:05 > 0:03:08- national emergency. - We have to get Rose!

0:03:16 > 0:03:18What do you want? Can't you seem I'm busy?

0:03:18 > 0:03:22- Did you watch the eclipse?- What a stupid question. Of course I did.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25Have I missed it? Have I missed it?

0:03:36 > 0:03:38What's going on, Frank?

0:03:38 > 0:03:41I wish I knew. Let's get to HQ. Quickly.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43Where? Get off me!

0:03:43 > 0:03:47- Rose!- Where are you taking me? - Just go!- All right! Get off!

0:03:53 > 0:03:57Books, huh! What use are books?

0:03:57 > 0:04:01The written word? Such piffle.

0:04:01 > 0:04:04No-one tells me how to think.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07SHOUTING

0:04:07 > 0:04:11Mr Flatley, this is not the example a headmaster should be leading by!

0:04:11 > 0:04:16Ignore the old trout.

0:04:16 > 0:04:21She is clearly not one of US!

0:04:21 > 0:04:23CHEERING

0:04:27 > 0:04:29Get off me!

0:04:34 > 0:04:36- Calm down.- What's the matter with you?

0:04:37 > 0:04:41BEEPING

0:04:42 > 0:04:45- London, did you get my text? - In the nick of time.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Everyone's gone mad. What was that thing?

0:04:47 > 0:04:51- We're working on it. - Ah! Hurry up, will you?!

0:04:51 > 0:04:54Are we ready to begin phase two?

0:04:54 > 0:04:58Soon, Grand Master. Very soon.

0:04:58 > 0:05:00With a simple flick of this switch,

0:05:00 > 0:05:04every television channel will be in your power.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09It's not too late, Igor.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12Untie me. We could both make a run for it.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14But how would I afford my yacht?

0:05:21 > 0:05:24Boring...

0:05:24 > 0:05:27Frank, what's wrong with Rose?

0:05:27 > 0:05:29I've never seen her like this.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31It's my belief, that thing we saw

0:05:31 > 0:05:34on the moon's surface has somehow hypnotised everyone who watched it.

0:05:34 > 0:05:37Well, that's most of the country.

0:05:37 > 0:05:38I'm afraid so.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40Can we reverse it?

0:05:40 > 0:05:42We'll find out very shortly.

0:05:42 > 0:05:43I need a pencil.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46CLATTERING

0:05:46 > 0:05:49I learned this technique from Mongolian goat herders.

0:05:49 > 0:05:53The secret is, I focus along with rhythmic clicking. Thank you, Oscar.

0:05:53 > 0:05:57Now Rose, I need you to concentrate on the tip of the pencil.

0:05:59 > 0:06:00Good.

0:06:00 > 0:06:03HE MIMICS TICKING

0:06:03 > 0:06:07What are you doing? You sound like a complete idiot.

0:06:07 > 0:06:11And what are you two staring at?

0:06:14 > 0:06:16Pathetic.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18I don't think it worked.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20It's never failed me.

0:06:20 > 0:06:24- Ever.- Please find a way to bring back the old Rose.

0:06:24 > 0:06:25I really don't like this one.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28The spirals on the moon. Rose had seen them before.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30She even gives them a name.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33Arthur Poopsberry's Eternal Spiral.

0:06:34 > 0:06:39These snacks are the hostages of the commercial world.

0:06:39 > 0:06:44Caged until freed by a ransom of coins.

0:06:44 > 0:06:47Well, not anymore.

0:06:47 > 0:06:50Free the snacks!

0:06:50 > 0:06:57Free the snacks! Free the snacks! Free the snacks! Free the snacks!

0:06:57 > 0:06:59Free the snacks! Free the snacks!

0:07:02 > 0:07:04Arthur Poopsberry. Got him.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06Poopsberry. Of course. Oscar.

0:07:06 > 0:07:10I knew that name rang a bell. The man behind the Tiger Mallow scandal.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12It caused a storm in the advertising world.

0:07:12 > 0:07:16It's all done through auto-suggestion by using an invisible code hidden

0:07:16 > 0:07:19beneath the image. The product wasn't even shown in this case.

0:07:29 > 0:07:30The Tiger Mallow bar.

0:07:30 > 0:07:33Sweet and salty softness in every bite.

0:07:33 > 0:07:37Making your taste buds light up with delicious delight.

0:07:37 > 0:07:39Whoa.

0:07:39 > 0:07:43- How did that happen? - It's called subliminal advertising.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46Using images that pass through the mind so fast people aren't aware

0:07:46 > 0:07:48they've seen anything. But, freeze frame...

0:07:54 > 0:07:57- Yummy.- The trouble is, it caused mass hysteria. People were so

0:07:57 > 0:08:01desperate to get hold of a Tiger Mallow bar, they'd fight, beg, steal,

0:08:01 > 0:08:02do anything to get their teeth into one.

0:08:02 > 0:08:05That method of advertising was outlawed within weeks.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07What happened to Poopsberry?

0:08:07 > 0:08:09Who even cares what happened to him?

0:08:09 > 0:08:11I don't for starters.

0:08:11 > 0:08:15By the looks of it, he adapted his spiral for more sinister endeavours.

0:08:15 > 0:08:19- We need to find him. - I'm on it. And I've got an address.

0:08:19 > 0:08:22Free the snacks! Free the snacks!

0:08:22 > 0:08:24- Free the...- Mr Flatley.

0:08:24 > 0:08:28- I'd like a word, please. - Of course, Mrs King.

0:08:28 > 0:08:32Let's step into the classroom, shall we?

0:08:36 > 0:08:38No more tyrannical Mrs King.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41Viva la revolucion!

0:08:43 > 0:08:47Mr Flatley! Mr Flatley! Mr Flatley!

0:09:03 > 0:09:05MI9. Show yourself.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16Frank. We're at the location.

0:09:16 > 0:09:21There's no sign of Poopsberry and the place has been trashed.

0:09:21 > 0:09:25Frank, we're seriously going to need Rose for this. How is she?

0:09:25 > 0:09:29She's...

0:09:29 > 0:09:31gone.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Frank?

0:09:33 > 0:09:37Free the books. Free the books.

0:09:37 > 0:09:40WHIRRING NOISE

0:10:07 > 0:10:08What's going on?

0:10:08 > 0:10:10No, no, don't watch!

0:10:10 > 0:10:13Please look away. Rose, Mr F, look away.

0:10:13 > 0:10:16- Come on, don't watch it.- Welcome.

0:10:16 > 0:10:19This is the Grand Master speaking.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21ALL: Grand Master.

0:10:21 > 0:10:24Concentrate on the spiral.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26Very beautiful, don't you agree?

0:10:26 > 0:10:28Very beautiful.

0:10:28 > 0:10:34Unlike wealth, which is bad, causing greed and envy.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Greed and envy.

0:10:36 > 0:10:40But fortunately, I can help you all.

0:10:40 > 0:10:46- Rose.- Bring me your money and I will safely dispose of it for you.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48Free you from the evil it brings.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51Everyone, come on, look away!

0:10:51 > 0:10:54Empty your bank accounts, your piggy

0:10:54 > 0:10:58banks, search out all your cash.

0:10:58 > 0:11:03My assistants will soon be in your area to collect it.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07BEEPING

0:11:07 > 0:11:09London, give me an update, and it better be positive.

0:11:09 > 0:11:13We believe that a man call Poopsberry has adapted a spiral

0:11:13 > 0:11:16he invented in order to sell Tiger Mallow bars.

0:11:16 > 0:11:18Sweet and salty softness in every bite.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20That's him. He's now working with the Grand Master

0:11:20 > 0:11:23on a plot to steal everyone's money.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26My entire staff have gone to the bank to withdraw all their cash!

0:11:26 > 0:11:29The country's economy will collapse if he gets away with this.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32Frank, you must find a way to reverse the hypnosis!

0:11:32 > 0:11:37Boring, boring, boring...

0:11:37 > 0:11:38I intend to.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40I beg you to stop!

0:11:40 > 0:11:43Think of the consequences!

0:11:43 > 0:11:47I designed those spirals to sell chocolate. Not for this!

0:11:47 > 0:11:49You should be grateful.

0:11:49 > 0:11:52People will talk about your spirals

0:11:52 > 0:11:55- for years to come. - For all the wrong reasons.

0:11:55 > 0:12:02My Flopsy is at death's door and all you can do is whinge.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04You're no longer useful.

0:12:04 > 0:12:05Take him away.

0:12:08 > 0:12:12Divided by three squared minus...

0:12:12 > 0:12:15These are beyond me and Rose is in no fit state.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18Our only chance is to find Poopsberry and the Grand Master.

0:12:18 > 0:12:21- But, Frank, where do we start? - I might have something.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23To project an image on the moon would take immense power, which

0:12:26 > 0:12:27would show as a carbon footprint,

0:12:27 > 0:12:30so by logging into satellite imaging recordings...

0:12:32 > 0:12:35What are you waiting for? Go!

0:12:35 > 0:12:37If the Grand Master has caused Rose

0:12:37 > 0:12:40any permanent damage, he and me are going to get personal.

0:12:40 > 0:12:41Get to the back of the queue.

0:12:52 > 0:12:56'This is the SKUL money collection service.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58'This is the SKUL money collection service.

0:12:58 > 0:13:01'This is the SKUL money collection service.'

0:13:01 > 0:13:03The world's gone mad!

0:13:03 > 0:13:07'This is the SKUL money collection service.'

0:13:10 > 0:13:12Concentrate on the image, Rose.

0:13:12 > 0:13:16I've reversed the spiral, which hopefully should reverse the effect.

0:13:23 > 0:13:24Rose?

0:13:26 > 0:13:27Let's disco!

0:13:27 > 0:13:30Come on, Frank, get on down.

0:13:30 > 0:13:32That is not the reaction I was hoping for.

0:13:41 > 0:13:44There's a lot of activity in the west of the building.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46Hang on.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48- Oh, no.- What?

0:13:48 > 0:13:52The basement. It's packed with explosives. We have to get in.

0:13:52 > 0:13:55So, how exactly do we get through the door?

0:14:01 > 0:14:04It uses retina recognition. The eye is the key.

0:14:04 > 0:14:06So, in other words, we can't get in.

0:14:06 > 0:14:10We can. But this is going to need your expertise more than mine.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14I love this song. Lily is so in the groove!

0:14:14 > 0:14:17There's no music, Rose, please stop dancing.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20Chill, Frank. The music will calm.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23There is no music! It's all in your head, Rose.

0:14:23 > 0:14:27If you don't come back your life as a spy is over. This team is over.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30I've never lost a man in the field, Rose Gupta.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33- I am not about to start now.- What?

0:14:33 > 0:14:37Cheryl Cole? I just adore Cheryl!

0:14:47 > 0:14:49OK. Um, up a bit.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51Stop.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54Left a bit. Stop.

0:14:54 > 0:14:56Uh, try that.

0:15:13 > 0:15:15Explosives and weapons.

0:15:17 > 0:15:21Oscar, the Grand Master could supply and army with all this.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29SHE SEARCHES STATIONS

0:15:29 > 0:15:32'The streets of Britain continue to fall into chaos.

0:15:32 > 0:15:35'The government advice is to stay in your homes.'

0:15:40 > 0:15:43- Poopsberry!- Yes. Who are you?

0:15:43 > 0:15:48- MI9.- Oh, thank goodness. I've been kidnapped by the Grand Master.

0:15:48 > 0:15:51- He's going to use the attack spiral. - Attack spiral?

0:15:51 > 0:15:53- What does it do? - Exactly as it sounds.

0:15:53 > 0:15:56Soon the entire nation will be completely under that madman's power.

0:15:56 > 0:15:59But you can reverse it, right?

0:15:59 > 0:16:01No, I'm sorry.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04The hypnosis is permanent. It's the way I designed it.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07No, you see, there has to be a way. Our friend's been affected.

0:16:07 > 0:16:11I don't get it. Grand Master's already stolen everyone's money,

0:16:11 > 0:16:12why transmit a second spiral?

0:16:12 > 0:16:15That was a red herring. At 1600 hours he's going to

0:16:15 > 0:16:19brief the entire nation, readying them to go to war with Belgium.

0:16:19 > 0:16:22Soon after that, he'll transmit the attack spiral. Then war it will be.

0:16:22 > 0:16:25I know the Grand Master's mad but surely he's not that mad?

0:16:25 > 0:16:28It does explain all the weapons we saw, the explosives.

0:16:28 > 0:16:32He must be targeting the European Parliament. Belgium is the HQ.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35It's nothing to do with that. It's because that stupid rabbit

0:16:35 > 0:16:37ate a dodgy waffle, and been poorly for days.

0:16:37 > 0:16:41You expect us to believe that Grand Master intends to declare war on

0:16:41 > 0:16:44- all because Flopsy ate a dodgy waffle?- Not any dodgy waffle,

0:16:44 > 0:16:47a dodgy Belgian waffle. Look, you've got to do something!

0:16:57 > 0:16:58Raaaaarrr!

0:16:58 > 0:17:00CRASH!

0:17:00 > 0:17:05Two, one, and wake.

0:17:05 > 0:17:06Welcome back, Rose.

0:17:08 > 0:17:12SHE SQUAWKS

0:17:13 > 0:17:15Very good, Rose. You almost had me.

0:17:15 > 0:17:17SHE CONTINUES TO SQUAWK

0:17:17 > 0:17:19MOBILE RINGS

0:17:22 > 0:17:26'Frank, we've got a serious problem.'

0:17:26 > 0:17:29- You're not the only one. - 'We found weapons and explosives.

0:17:29 > 0:17:33'The Grand Master's plans to start a war. We've also freed Poopsberry.'

0:17:33 > 0:17:38He was the Grand Master's captive, not his ally. It's bad news.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40'He says the hypnotism is permanent.'

0:17:40 > 0:17:42Poor Rose.

0:17:42 > 0:17:45I never thought I'd say this,

0:17:45 > 0:17:48but I think this time, the Grand Master has finally...

0:17:48 > 0:17:51SHOUTING

0:17:51 > 0:17:53'Finally what, Frank?'

0:17:53 > 0:17:55Surely not?

0:17:55 > 0:17:56Carrie, I'll call you back.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01Rose, I need you to watch this.

0:18:01 > 0:18:03< Will you ever listen?

0:18:03 > 0:18:05Concentrate on the sound.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07..A modicum of responsibility!

0:18:07 > 0:18:09Are you going to continue to stroll through life

0:18:09 > 0:18:12underachieving at every stage?

0:18:12 > 0:18:17Now stop being so contrary, or you are going to make me

0:18:17 > 0:18:21very angry, and you really don't want to see my angry.

0:18:21 > 0:18:24DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

0:18:28 > 0:18:30Where are Carrie and Oscar?

0:18:30 > 0:18:32What are you grinning about?

0:18:32 > 0:18:34Come on, Rose, we've got work to do.

0:18:34 > 0:18:37We need to analyse that tape and find out what it is in Mrs King's

0:18:37 > 0:18:39voice that reverses the hypnotic state.

0:18:39 > 0:18:42OK, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

0:18:42 > 0:18:43But I'm on it.

0:18:47 > 0:18:51- Oscar, time's running out. - Nearly there. Done.

0:18:51 > 0:18:53There you go.

0:18:53 > 0:18:55BLEEPING

0:18:55 > 0:18:57What was that noise?

0:18:58 > 0:19:00- Uh-oh.- It's a chain-trigger.

0:19:00 > 0:19:03To diffuse it, the wires have to be cut in the correct order.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05Nine permutations, only one correct.

0:19:05 > 0:19:08Cut the red first. It's always the red first.

0:19:08 > 0:19:10Grand Master will know that so it's probably blue or the yellow.

0:19:10 > 0:19:12But he'd also know that we know that he knows...

0:19:12 > 0:19:14I suggest you make a decision.

0:19:14 > 0:19:17Red it is.

0:19:19 > 0:19:23- OK. Blue or yellow?- Um...blue.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25No! Uh, yellow.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28No! Uh...blue, blue.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30You can never be that lucky twice in a row.

0:19:36 > 0:19:40- Clear.- Oscar, we have less than two minutes to stop the Grand Master.

0:19:40 > 0:19:42Come on, let's go.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Frank?

0:19:48 > 0:19:49Look.

0:19:49 > 0:19:54This shows a normal human voice, whereas this graph shows Mrs King's.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57Now, look here. When she loses her rag,

0:19:57 > 0:20:01she produces a series of sine waves which show notes of complete purity.

0:20:01 > 0:20:03- Like when an opera singer breaks a glass with her voice.- Exactly.

0:20:03 > 0:20:07It's my belief it's these sine waves which unlock the spiral's effects.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09Can they be replicated?

0:20:09 > 0:20:12Yes, but getting the right pattern could take months. We've got to try

0:20:12 > 0:20:16and make Mrs King throw a wobbly in front of the entire nation.

0:20:16 > 0:20:17That means taking Mrs King to his hideout.

0:20:17 > 0:20:21Where the Grand Master has control of all the TV transmissions.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24Look, it's dangerous, I know,

0:20:24 > 0:20:29- but what choice do we have? - OK, let's do it.

0:20:29 > 0:20:33It means we have to find a way of making Mrs King very angry indeed.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Give me a minute.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38It's almost time to take up arms.

0:20:40 > 0:20:45Ready yourselves to risk your lives in the return for honour.

0:20:45 > 0:20:50'So we will march as an army into the heart of Belgium...'

0:20:50 > 0:20:53- It's too late.- No, come on.

0:20:53 > 0:20:59'Where we will seek our revenge on behalf of my dearest Flopsy.

0:20:59 > 0:21:03'Victory will be ours!'

0:21:03 > 0:21:06Victory will be ours.

0:21:07 > 0:21:10All right, Mrs King? It's OK.

0:21:10 > 0:21:13Oh, Frank.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15I don't know if I can do this job any more.

0:21:15 > 0:21:17I'm at the end of my tether.

0:21:17 > 0:21:19You need to relax. I can help you.

0:21:19 > 0:21:21Really? How?

0:21:21 > 0:21:25Concentrate on the tip of my pencil.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27Tick-tock-tick...

0:21:27 > 0:21:33Good. Now feel your eyes getting heavy, very heavy.

0:21:33 > 0:21:37Tick-tock-tick-tock.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40You'll never know what a service you're about to do for your country.

0:21:43 > 0:21:45Carrie, Oscar? Sit tight.

0:21:45 > 0:21:48The cavalry's on its way.

0:21:48 > 0:21:55Holland to the north, Germany to the east, Luxembourg to the south,

0:21:55 > 0:21:57France to the West.

0:21:57 > 0:22:04I take Belgium, and the rest of Europe will be ripe for plundering.

0:22:04 > 0:22:08Then I, the Grand Master,

0:22:08 > 0:22:15shall become the figurehead of the entire continent,

0:22:15 > 0:22:20striking fear into the hearts of the world's superpowers.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22General Flopsy

0:22:22 > 0:22:26could have tea with the Queen.

0:22:26 > 0:22:28He'd love that, actually.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41- We thought we lost you. - Good to have you back.

0:22:41 > 0:22:44Good to be back. Now, which way to the Grand Master?

0:22:51 > 0:22:54'The time has come...'

0:22:54 > 0:22:56Prepare the attack spiral.

0:22:56 > 0:23:00Prepared and ready to transmit.

0:23:10 > 0:23:12What are you waiting for?

0:23:12 > 0:23:14Transmit.

0:23:16 > 0:23:19Grand Master, don't you ever mess with my mind again.

0:23:19 > 0:23:21Carrie, Oscar, cuff him.

0:23:21 > 0:23:24Don't you lot have anything better

0:23:24 > 0:23:29to do than constantly ruin my plans for world domination?

0:23:29 > 0:23:31To another day.

0:23:32 > 0:23:34HISSING

0:23:34 > 0:23:39- I'll go after him.- No, no time, the nation expects a live transmission.

0:23:39 > 0:23:43- Let's give them one.- But the spirals are irreversible.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45You obviously never met Mrs King.

0:23:46 > 0:23:48SHE SNORES

0:23:48 > 0:23:50Transmitting in four seconds, Frank.

0:23:50 > 0:23:543, 2, 1, and wake.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00Where am I?

0:24:00 > 0:24:03What's going on?

0:24:03 > 0:24:08- Do you know this man?- Yes.

0:24:08 > 0:24:13- It's Mr Flatley, the headmaster from my school.- Oh! Headmaster!

0:24:13 > 0:24:15He must be very clever them.

0:24:15 > 0:24:18One must have an exceptional talent to reach such heights.

0:24:18 > 0:24:20Or an aunt on the board of governors.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22You seem bitter, Mrs King.

0:24:22 > 0:24:24After all, he's headmaster of the year.

0:24:24 > 0:24:27Mr Flatley? Heh!

0:24:27 > 0:24:28Not in a million years!

0:24:35 > 0:24:38This has to be some kind of mistake.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40Oh, no mistake. And his prize is an all-expenses paid

0:24:40 > 0:24:46trip to Las Vegas and to be named headmaster of St Hope's, forever.

0:24:46 > 0:24:48Forever? No!

0:24:48 > 0:24:51Well, you can't hide genius.

0:24:51 > 0:24:54The truth hurts, doesn't it, Mrs King?

0:24:54 > 0:24:56- Here goes.- Genius?

0:24:56 > 0:24:58Let me tell you one or two truths about

0:24:58 > 0:25:03Mr Headmaster of the Year Flatley!

0:25:03 > 0:25:07He isn't fit enough to teach monkeys, never mind children.

0:25:07 > 0:25:12He's a bumbling, blathering, bombastic butter-faced buffoon.

0:25:12 > 0:25:17Skipping around poles in that ridiculous Morris dancing outfit?

0:25:17 > 0:25:21And don't even get me started on the biscuits!

0:25:21 > 0:25:24HOARDING THEM - as if there's no tomorrow!

0:25:24 > 0:25:28Gorging himself on the filling and then putting the damp casing

0:25:28 > 0:25:32back into the packet thinking no-one will notice!

0:25:37 > 0:25:39What is going on?

0:25:39 > 0:25:42Anyone else feel dizzy?

0:25:42 > 0:25:44Custard creams.

0:25:44 > 0:25:45My favourite.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50- It's worked.- Incredible. - And the mess he makes!

0:25:50 > 0:25:55He's like an out of control toddler, overdosed on E numbers.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58Papers, pens, staplers, highlighters...

0:25:58 > 0:26:01- And sleep.- Oh!

0:26:22 > 0:26:25- Come on, get the chair ready. - I've got the chair.

0:26:25 > 0:26:27- OK, Ready?- Yep.- And...

0:26:27 > 0:26:30Come on, Mrs King. Got her. Have you got a pen?

0:26:35 > 0:26:37Thank you.

0:26:37 > 0:26:39Now go. Come on.

0:26:39 > 0:26:42Don't forget the wheelbarrow.

0:26:42 > 0:26:46When you wake you will remember nothing.

0:26:46 > 0:26:503, 2, 1, wake.

0:26:54 > 0:26:57Oh, it's never ending.

0:26:59 > 0:27:02The explosives have been removed and the building made safe

0:27:02 > 0:27:06and all the money has been returned to its rightful owners.

0:27:06 > 0:27:09I think we can call that a success.

0:27:09 > 0:27:13I still can't believe Rose here was dancing to imaginary music, though.

0:27:13 > 0:27:17Wait, won't would that have been picked up on the CCTV?

0:27:17 > 0:27:20- I suppose it would have been. - I would love to see that.

0:27:20 > 0:27:25- Don't you dare.- Don't worry, Rose, I wiped all tapes.- That's unfair.

0:27:25 > 0:27:27Look!

0:27:27 > 0:27:29Look! I've won Headmaster of the Year and an

0:27:29 > 0:27:33all-expenses paid trip to Las Vegas.

0:27:33 > 0:27:36Oh, no, I was meant to shred that.

0:27:36 > 0:27:39The only thing is, I don't recollect the ceremony

0:27:39 > 0:27:41or posing for this photograph.

0:27:41 > 0:27:47- Still, Las Vegas here I come. - What are we going to do?

0:27:47 > 0:27:48- Mr Flatley?- Hm?

0:27:48 > 0:27:51Concentrate on the tip of my pencil.

0:27:51 > 0:27:54Tick-tock...