Sad Men

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:05'Have these fantastic items now! Just one click away!'

0:00:05 > 0:00:07With 20% off this bling,

0:00:07 > 0:00:10everything, it's a bare proper bargain!

0:00:10 > 0:00:14You can buy three for the price of two.

0:00:14 > 0:00:17Does the mean you get one without having to pay anything?

0:00:17 > 0:00:20I'm not going to become a mindless consumer. This is an assault

0:00:20 > 0:00:23- on our rights and our dignity. - 'Three for two, on a huge

0:00:23 > 0:00:26'selection of premier gifts.'

0:00:26 > 0:00:28Place has gone mad.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31'Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! Now!!'

0:00:39 > 0:00:41The 21st century faces a new kind of threat.

0:00:41 > 0:00:45And MI9 must create a new breed of skilled undercover agent.

0:01:00 > 0:01:04Hidden in a place no villain will think to look. Welcome to MI High.

0:01:05 > 0:01:09- 'Get your feet...'- I don't like influencing young minds in this way,

0:01:09 > 0:01:14- Mrs King.- You don't like influencing young minds, at all, Mr Flatley.

0:01:14 > 0:01:17Some may say that my teaching methods are a little unconventional...

0:01:17 > 0:01:21Six children left last week because THEY were teaching YOU!

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Is learning from pupils a crime?

0:01:23 > 0:01:27No, falling pupil numbers is a crime, but agreeing

0:01:27 > 0:01:29to carry this advertising is the answer.

0:01:29 > 0:01:30HE SIGHS

0:01:30 > 0:01:34With the money we make, we'll invest in our facilities and make

0:01:34 > 0:01:39- the school more attractive. - Mrs King, St Hearts has so much

0:01:39 > 0:01:41to offer already. We need to tell the word the truth about it -

0:01:41 > 0:01:45- spread the message.- No, that is the last thing we should do.

0:01:45 > 0:01:50Now, I am going to spend today carefully presenting our school

0:01:50 > 0:01:56to new prospective parents and I need you to stay low, keep quiet

0:01:56 > 0:02:02and, please, try not to do anything too...Mr Flatley-ish.

0:02:02 > 0:02:03Mmm?

0:02:03 > 0:02:05'High heels at low prices.

0:02:05 > 0:02:06'All the latest fashions,

0:02:06 > 0:02:08'at bargain rates.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11'Smart people, smart products, smart prices.'

0:02:12 > 0:02:16Everybody, everybody, stop what you are doing.

0:02:16 > 0:02:19It's time to promote St Hearts properly.

0:02:19 > 0:02:20I'm talking new logo

0:02:20 > 0:02:22BUZZING posters, a television advert.

0:02:22 > 0:02:24This is a top priority.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26There are to be no distractions.

0:02:26 > 0:02:27'Jingle all

0:02:27 > 0:02:29'the way to the dance with Billy's Bells.'

0:02:29 > 0:02:31- (Guys.)- '20% off now!'

0:02:31 > 0:02:33Ooh.

0:02:33 > 0:02:35Oh, that is good value, isn't it?

0:02:39 > 0:02:41'Billy's Bells.'

0:02:43 > 0:02:44Check out the threads

0:02:44 > 0:02:48on Hamish. Turning stylish into spylish.

0:02:48 > 0:02:52I employed an agency to help me rebrand. New job - new image.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55- Could get them to take a look you guys, if you like.- Sweet!

0:02:55 > 0:02:56If I'm being honest,

0:02:56 > 0:03:01I've always thought these outfits came from a shop called Really?

0:03:01 > 0:03:05- Could do with a bit of colour. - Something brighter.- This is MI High,

0:03:05 > 0:03:08- not MI Hiya!- We're not rebranding. - It isn't always like this.

0:03:08 > 0:03:12We've just acquired a fragmented message from a terror organisation

0:03:12 > 0:03:14known as The 99p.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18- Are they reasonably-priced terrorists?- They are dedicated

0:03:18 > 0:03:21to bringing the value of the world economy down to 99p.

0:03:21 > 0:03:25No member of The 99p has even been caught, but in the past, they have

0:03:25 > 0:03:29- destroyed banks, attacked big businesses...- And now, us.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32We believe the message is an instruction to launch an assault

0:03:32 > 0:03:36- on the MI9 communications centre. - We don't know what The 99p want,

0:03:36 > 0:03:40but we do know that, ten minutes ago, its security grid failed.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43- Or someone made it fail? - Team, I want you to field-test these

0:03:43 > 0:03:45prototypes for me.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47Laser Lashes.

0:03:47 > 0:03:51Blink three times in one second and they zap anything within two metres.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53I can totally rock them.

0:03:53 > 0:03:57Tom, see if you can get the security grid back online. Keri, Dan, Aneisha,

0:03:57 > 0:04:02the centre's unmanned. Get there and secure it.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05- 'For one week only, the best...' - There really is no better place

0:04:05 > 0:04:08for your children to succeed than here, at St Hearts.

0:04:10 > 0:04:14Oh, why don't we go to the canteen? We have some wonderful cutlery.

0:04:14 > 0:04:16Is that you, Mrs King?

0:04:16 > 0:04:18Oh! Oh, Preston!

0:04:18 > 0:04:21Why are you wearing

0:04:21 > 0:04:23your sock as a blindfold?

0:04:23 > 0:04:27Is it part of... National Headsock Day?

0:04:27 > 0:04:30St Hearts has become a crypto-capitalist outpost

0:04:30 > 0:04:32of consumer excess.

0:04:33 > 0:04:37This is the only way I can remain uncontaminated.

0:04:37 > 0:04:42- I'm forming the..Sockupy Movement. - We encourage our pupils to be

0:04:42 > 0:04:48independently-minded. So, let's go find some better examples, shall we?

0:04:48 > 0:04:52Felicity and Roland are pitching an exciting concept for a St Hearts

0:04:52 > 0:04:57- television advert.- Ah!- So, I'm the Queen of St Hearts, yeah, and you

0:04:57 > 0:05:01are all my loyal subjects n the Court of Sorted.

0:05:01 > 0:05:06And I'm rapping and Rollie's fartboxing and the camera sweeps

0:05:06 > 0:05:10through and everybody steps aside and bows, until it turns round on me

0:05:10 > 0:05:13all regal, yeah, and the rap goes,

0:05:13 > 0:05:16Let one off when the occasion demands it

0:05:16 > 0:05:18and come to St Hearts cos your Queen commands it!

0:05:18 > 0:05:21Ha-ha-ha! Very good, very good.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23Hollerin' right back at you, Felicity!

0:05:23 > 0:05:28We need to show dem pupils they're gonna be part of peak posse. Trust?

0:05:29 > 0:05:32Didn't understand a word of that.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Right, yes. We...

0:05:35 > 0:05:39We believe that we should talk to the pupils on their level.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41'Oi!!

0:05:42 > 0:05:45'Cash Cow, 'ere. Don't be a dummy -

0:05:45 > 0:05:50'get down to my supermarket and save yourself MONEY!

0:05:53 > 0:05:55Oh! Where was I?

0:05:55 > 0:05:57- Erm...- Oh, yes!

0:05:57 > 0:06:00Yes, we believe that we should talk to the pupils on their level.

0:06:00 > 0:06:05We need to raise the roof, ya feel me? Drop some bling bombs.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07We should call it St Farts!

0:06:07 > 0:06:10FELICITY AND ROLAND LAUGH

0:06:25 > 0:06:27So far, all the doors have been unlocked,

0:06:27 > 0:06:30- but the whole place is deserted. - Maybe they have been and gone?

0:06:30 > 0:06:32Maybe they haven't got here yet.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34What's that up ahead?

0:06:37 > 0:06:39Just an office.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43Don't blink three times in one second!

0:06:44 > 0:06:46Hamish, are you sure The 99p are coming?

0:06:47 > 0:06:49CHANT: Return to base!

0:06:49 > 0:06:53'Multiple thermal signatures coming in through that office.'

0:06:53 > 0:06:56They're outnumbered. Get the security group back online.

0:06:56 > 0:06:57Close that office door.

0:06:57 > 0:06:58CHANT: Steal!

0:06:58 > 0:07:01- Why are they chanting? - What do they want to steal?

0:07:01 > 0:07:04- Let's go! - If we lock that security door,

0:07:04 > 0:07:08it won't only protect the team, it should keep The 99p out

0:07:08 > 0:07:11- of the rest of the facility. - I'm in the mainframe.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13The Lord of the Locks is on the case.

0:07:13 > 0:07:17- Lord of the Locks?- He calls himself funny names sometimes.

0:07:17 > 0:07:19CHANT: Steal them!

0:07:19 > 0:07:23- 'I'm locking the door, any second.' - Any second now is not quick enough!

0:07:23 > 0:07:25- They are almost on us. - The mechanism won't activate.

0:07:25 > 0:07:30- It's not responding to my commands. - Maybe you should ask it nicely?

0:07:30 > 0:07:35We can't hold it much longer. Leave this to the Lady of the Locks.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44I am SO keeping these!

0:07:44 > 0:07:46BANGING

0:07:46 > 0:07:49- I think we made them angry.- Looks like we have a fight on our hands,

0:07:49 > 0:07:51- after all.- Ready?

0:07:51 > 0:07:54BANGING

0:07:54 > 0:07:55BANGING STOPS

0:07:55 > 0:07:57Er... why have they stopped?

0:07:57 > 0:08:00BEEPING

0:08:00 > 0:08:01They're going.

0:08:11 > 0:08:12IRRITATED GRUNT

0:08:12 > 0:08:17Who are The 99p? What were they looking to steal?

0:08:17 > 0:08:20I ran a search of the centre. The only unusual piece of tech

0:08:20 > 0:08:22I could find was the Master Communicator.

0:08:24 > 0:08:28I don't see why they'd want it. It's basically a glorified telephone.

0:08:28 > 0:08:30- Why were they chanting like that? - I'm more worried about how they

0:08:30 > 0:08:34- discovered the centre's location. - I couldn't find internal security

0:08:34 > 0:08:36- breaches.- We're looking for an external breach.

0:08:36 > 0:08:39I personally vet all external contact with MI9.

0:08:39 > 0:08:44- What about the people who did your rebrand?- Scraper Associates?

0:08:44 > 0:08:48They're one of the biggest advertising agencies in the world.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50- Did you vet them? - They're entirely respectable, Dan.

0:08:50 > 0:08:53- They installed all the billboards here at the school.- They are

0:08:53 > 0:08:58the only non-MI9 personnel who had full access to our facilities?

0:08:58 > 0:09:01If St Hearts was a person, what kind of person would it be?

0:09:01 > 0:09:04'Lighter teeth and brighter smile...'

0:09:04 > 0:09:06Preston. Preston, what are you doing?

0:09:06 > 0:09:09This is a tented Sockupation protest!

0:09:09 > 0:09:11Now, who's with me?!

0:09:11 > 0:09:15- 'For one week only...'- Anybody? - '..the best that money can buy.'

0:09:16 > 0:09:17Nobody?

0:09:19 > 0:09:23- Oh!- A party of one is still a party. - Proper rubbish party, though.

0:09:24 > 0:09:28Sir, we've had an idea about how YOU can promote the school.

0:09:28 > 0:09:29Ooh!

0:09:37 > 0:09:38Oh! Oh, yes.

0:09:38 > 0:09:42Yes, excellent suggestion, Aneisha. With some professional help,

0:09:42 > 0:09:46we'll sell St Hearts to the masses. There will be a stampede of people

0:09:46 > 0:09:47wanting to come.

0:09:47 > 0:09:51I think you are over-estimating the power of advertising, sir.

0:09:51 > 0:09:52Nonsense!

0:09:54 > 0:09:57- Ah!- What's up, Keri?

0:09:57 > 0:10:00The lashes might look really cool, but they are really hurting my eyes.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03- Just don't... - Blink three times, I know.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27CHIMES TING

0:10:36 > 0:10:39Ahem, delighted to meet you, Mr...

0:10:40 > 0:10:42..Mr Scrapper.

0:10:45 > 0:10:48Yes, well, we need to promote our school,

0:10:48 > 0:10:51so we were thinking of a television advert.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53- Want me to rebrand your product? - Yeah.

0:10:53 > 0:10:55Sell it to me.

0:10:55 > 0:10:59But be warned, I've sold ice to Eskimos.

0:10:59 > 0:11:00Melted ice.

0:11:00 > 0:11:02You mean water?

0:11:02 > 0:11:04HE GASPS

0:11:12 > 0:11:14You've got 60 seconds.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17And I'll want them back if you turn out to be as mediocre as you look.

0:11:19 > 0:11:2459, 58... I am including the time it takes to say these words, you know?

0:11:24 > 0:11:26- Well...our school...- Our school.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29- ..St Hearts...- St Hearts...

0:11:29 > 0:11:30Yes, go on!

0:11:31 > 0:11:33..is, um...is a school...

0:11:33 > 0:11:36Keep this disaster of a pitch going while I work, will you?

0:11:38 > 0:11:40'You want it? We've got it!

0:11:40 > 0:11:43'Why go anywhere else? We've got it all!'

0:11:43 > 0:11:47So St Hearts would be a six-legged,

0:11:47 > 0:11:53move-busting, yawning morris dancer with eyes where its knees should be

0:11:53 > 0:11:56and an arm in the middle of its face?

0:11:58 > 0:12:00That's a nose, that is.

0:12:00 > 0:12:01There it is, Frank.

0:12:01 > 0:12:03I came back to find Mr Flatley gone

0:12:03 > 0:12:06and this thing in the middle of my classroom.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09- What a nice tent!- It's an eyesore.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11Now, Preston,

0:12:11 > 0:12:13I am going to give you one more chance

0:12:13 > 0:12:16- to come out of there peacefully.- FROM TENT: No!

0:12:16 > 0:12:20And also I'm boycotting all products that use advertisement.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22Evict him, Frank.

0:12:22 > 0:12:23Well, technically, Mrs K,

0:12:23 > 0:12:25he's got the legal right to protest,

0:12:25 > 0:12:27as long as he doesn't cause any disruption.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29'Oi!

0:12:29 > 0:12:33'Get down to my supermarket and save yourself mo-o-oney!

0:12:35 > 0:12:37'Save yourself mo-o-oney.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42'Save yourself mo-o-oney.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46'Save yourself mo-o-oney.'

0:12:51 > 0:12:54So, uh, that's St Hearts for you.

0:12:59 > 0:13:00Well done.

0:13:00 > 0:13:02Very well done indeed.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05It takes a huge amount of talent to make something

0:13:05 > 0:13:08even less interesting than it really is.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10You've invented... What can I call it?

0:13:10 > 0:13:12..anti-advertising.

0:13:12 > 0:13:16- What was he supposed to do? - Sell it! Sizzle it!

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Don't just say, "There's a canteen."

0:13:18 > 0:13:22Say, "There's an exquisite dining experience to rival The Ritz."

0:13:22 > 0:13:23- Lie, then? - Oh, no.

0:13:23 > 0:13:26Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We don't approve of lying.

0:13:26 > 0:13:27Advertising makes it seems

0:13:27 > 0:13:30there's far more to something than meets the eye.

0:13:30 > 0:13:32But you have to have something to build on in the first place.

0:13:32 > 0:13:37Oh, you mean kindness and-and community?

0:13:37 > 0:13:40Oh, why didn't you say so?

0:13:40 > 0:13:45Are we talking "cuddly", "wuddly"?

0:13:45 > 0:13:47- You've been to St Hearts, then? - In my worst nightmares.

0:13:47 > 0:13:52St Hearts doesn't need a new image and it don't need you.

0:13:52 > 0:13:53I like it just the way it is.

0:13:54 > 0:13:56That's it!

0:13:56 > 0:13:57That's it, Daniel!

0:14:00 > 0:14:01I can see the advert now.

0:14:02 > 0:14:06"St Hearts - just the way it is."

0:14:07 > 0:14:10Mr Scrapper, you...

0:14:10 > 0:14:12are a genius!

0:14:12 > 0:14:14How can we ever repay you?

0:14:16 > 0:14:18You can get out of my office.

0:14:18 > 0:14:20And it's "Scraper".

0:14:33 > 0:14:37Come on, you three, don't dawdle - we've got an advert to shoot.

0:14:40 > 0:14:44Scraper doesn't really seem like the type to be involved with The 99p.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46But you can see why he'd make a good target.

0:14:46 > 0:14:48He's all about making money.

0:14:48 > 0:14:52Maybe someone from The 99p has infiltrated this place.

0:14:54 > 0:14:56You think it's one of them?

0:14:56 > 0:14:57I dunno.

0:14:57 > 0:15:00Something's not right.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03BUZZING

0:15:03 > 0:15:04The 99p are back,

0:15:04 > 0:15:06and in even greater numbers.

0:15:06 > 0:15:08They've overrun the communication centre.

0:15:08 > 0:15:10This time we know what they're up to.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12I was wrong about the master communicator.

0:15:12 > 0:15:14It was classified as a telephone device

0:15:14 > 0:15:17but I've managed to decrypt the files.

0:15:17 > 0:15:20It can actually control all communication technology,

0:15:20 > 0:15:22from TV, phones, internet,

0:15:22 > 0:15:23even radio. If they get it,

0:15:23 > 0:15:26they could crash every electrical system in the world.

0:15:26 > 0:15:29Banks and hospitals would close, governments could fall.

0:15:29 > 0:15:32'Dan, I'm sending you the location of the master communicator.'

0:15:33 > 0:15:35Right, 'Neish, with me.

0:15:35 > 0:15:39We need to get to the master communicator before The 99p do.

0:15:39 > 0:15:41Keri, if there is a 99p infiltrator, find them.

0:15:47 > 0:15:50Now, listen, everyone, I need your atten...tion...

0:15:50 > 0:15:52- TV:- 'The best that money can buy.'

0:15:53 > 0:15:55It's just us, sir.

0:15:55 > 0:15:56Oh.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58Finally had enough of you, have they, Preston?

0:15:58 > 0:16:02Well, there's only so much people can take, I suppose.

0:16:02 > 0:16:04Anyway, never mind that. We haven't got a moment to lose.

0:16:04 > 0:16:06I've got a camera in my office.

0:16:06 > 0:16:09Let's make this advert and start attracting some fresh faces.

0:16:09 > 0:16:13I'm sorry, sir, I can't be involved in any kind of commercial activity.

0:16:13 > 0:16:17- TV:- 'Get your feet on the street with our amazing range of trainers.'

0:16:17 > 0:16:19You can be in front of the camera.

0:16:19 > 0:16:22ZIP SLIDES

0:16:24 > 0:16:26I'll go fix my hair.

0:16:29 > 0:16:33'The master communicator should be located 10 metres to your left.'

0:16:38 > 0:16:39OK, I've got it.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42You need to perform a displacement procedure on the stability fixtures

0:16:42 > 0:16:44around the perimeter of the device.

0:16:44 > 0:16:45You mean "unscrew it."

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Yeah.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49BEEPING

0:16:49 > 0:16:50DISTANT VOICES

0:16:50 > 0:16:52- They know we're here. - I'm going as fast as I can.

0:17:01 > 0:17:02St Hearts.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07They must know we're working for MI9.

0:17:08 > 0:17:09SHE GASPS

0:17:16 > 0:17:18- Got it.- Let's get out of here.

0:17:20 > 0:17:23IN ROBOTIC VOICE: Steal...communicator.

0:17:23 > 0:17:24Auntie?

0:17:24 > 0:17:27- Frank?- Steal...communicator. - What's happened to them?

0:17:27 > 0:17:30- Eliminate...enemies. - Everybody from the school's here.

0:17:30 > 0:17:33- They're in some kind of trance. - Are you sure?

0:17:33 > 0:17:34..crush...

0:17:34 > 0:17:37- We're cut off, Hamish.- Head for the stairs. There's a basement area.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40If you can make it through, you might be able to lose them.

0:17:40 > 0:17:41..crush...

0:17:41 > 0:17:43Dan's right - the whole school's deserted.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45No, wait.

0:17:45 > 0:17:47Just Preston and Mr Flatley.

0:17:47 > 0:17:50Why have the others been affected and not them?

0:17:53 > 0:17:56ROBOTIC VOICES: Eliminate...enemies...eliminate...

0:17:56 > 0:18:00Something affected them, but it didn't affect him.

0:18:00 > 0:18:02Because he was blindfolded.

0:18:02 > 0:18:03Can you zoom in?

0:18:05 > 0:18:07Slow it down.

0:18:09 > 0:18:10Did you see that?

0:18:10 > 0:18:13There's hidden messages on Scraper's billboards.

0:18:22 > 0:18:23THEY GROAN AND GRUNT

0:18:27 > 0:18:30Eliminate...enemies.

0:18:31 > 0:18:35Crush...crush...crush...crush...

0:18:39 > 0:18:42..crush...crush...crush...crush...

0:18:45 > 0:18:50..crush...crush...crush...crush...

0:18:52 > 0:18:55..crush...crush...crush...

0:18:55 > 0:18:56They're everywhere.

0:18:56 > 0:18:59Dan, you can't let them get the master communicator.

0:18:59 > 0:19:00..crush...

0:19:00 > 0:19:03We need some help here. We can't fight our own classmates.

0:19:03 > 0:19:06There should be a service door somewhere. Find it.

0:19:07 > 0:19:08We can't get to it!

0:19:10 > 0:19:12I've got an idea.

0:19:12 > 0:19:14..crush...crush...

0:19:22 > 0:19:25- I think they saw us come in here. - I'm counting on it.- What?!

0:19:25 > 0:19:27We need to lure them away from the door so we can make a run for it.

0:19:27 > 0:19:30How about you lure them away from the door and I'll make a run for it?

0:19:30 > 0:19:32Trust me, we need to make them think they've got us.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34Dan, they have got us.

0:19:52 > 0:19:53Drop!

0:20:04 > 0:20:06- Locked.- How much worse can this get?

0:20:06 > 0:20:09CHANTING: Crush!

0:20:09 > 0:20:11That much worse.

0:20:11 > 0:20:14LOUDER CHANTING: Crush!

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Hurry, Dan.

0:20:21 > 0:20:23Guys, we're through.

0:20:23 > 0:20:26'Scraper is controlling everyone through his billboards.'

0:20:26 > 0:20:28Bring the communicator back here.

0:20:28 > 0:20:31Maybe Tom can use it to get control of all the billboards

0:20:31 > 0:20:33in the country before they do any more harm.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35What about Keri? We left her at Scraper's?

0:20:35 > 0:20:37Aneisha, you bring the communicator.

0:20:37 > 0:20:39'Dan, get to Keri.'

0:20:46 > 0:20:48SHE GASPS

0:20:51 > 0:20:54The 99p have been putting secret instructions in that advert.

0:20:54 > 0:20:55I've seen this before.

0:20:55 > 0:20:57It's an illegal mind-control technique,

0:20:57 > 0:21:01- Subliminally Assimilated Data.- S-A-D.

0:21:01 > 0:21:04Delivers hidden instructions too fast for the conscious mind,

0:21:04 > 0:21:07but the subconscious mind picks them up.

0:21:07 > 0:21:10That's why The 99p want the master communicator.

0:21:10 > 0:21:12They'll be able to control everyone forever and send SAD

0:21:12 > 0:21:16through every communication system in the world.

0:21:17 > 0:21:18Here at St Heart's,

0:21:18 > 0:21:22you'll learn what the word oppression really means.

0:21:22 > 0:21:24- Preston...- This place is all about

0:21:24 > 0:21:27stamping out free will and individuality

0:21:27 > 0:21:32- and grinding down every last bit of hope into dust.- Cut, cut, cut, cut.

0:21:32 > 0:21:36- Preston!- Yes?- That's not...quite what I had in mind.

0:21:37 > 0:21:38Keri!

0:21:47 > 0:21:52- Admiring my work?- You're behind The 99p? Keri, listen to me.

0:21:52 > 0:21:55You know, I didn't offer you a cup of tea when you came to my office.

0:21:55 > 0:21:58How rude. Would you like one?

0:22:00 > 0:22:03- You've turned her into your slave. - I'm simply sending

0:22:03 > 0:22:07my SAD instructions straight into her mind through the glasses.

0:22:07 > 0:22:10- That's what you've been doing through your billboards.- Bright boy.

0:22:10 > 0:22:13Sadly, until I get the master communicator,

0:22:13 > 0:22:16the effect only lasts for 60 minutes at a time.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20The boards have other uses.

0:22:20 > 0:22:23You won't get the master communicator now, Scraper.

0:22:23 > 0:22:27Recent market research suggests otherwise.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30Locate MI9 base.

0:22:30 > 0:22:34- ROBOTIC VOICE CHANTS:- Locate base.

0:22:36 > 0:22:38You look like one unhappy customer.

0:22:39 > 0:22:43- THEY CHANT:- Locate base.

0:22:43 > 0:22:46Ah, Mrs King, you're back. Excellent.

0:22:46 > 0:22:50Well, we've made pro...gress with the advert,

0:22:50 > 0:22:54although we may need to lose Preston as he's a little protesty.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57Oi! Cash Cow here.

0:22:57 > 0:23:01Save yourself money.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06- THEY CHANT:- Locate base.

0:23:09 > 0:23:12HIGH-PITCHED WHIRRING

0:23:12 > 0:23:16Dan and Keri aren't answering their communicators. Guys, any progress?

0:23:16 > 0:23:17Powering up.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19Look!

0:23:19 > 0:23:21- THEY CHANT:- Locate base.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23Frank will lead them straight down here.

0:23:23 > 0:23:26Tom, if the master communicator can give us control

0:23:26 > 0:23:29over those billboards, can we use it to get control over those people?

0:23:29 > 0:23:33- If we send out alternative SAD instructions.- Do it.

0:23:35 > 0:23:37It's not working. Scraper still has control.

0:23:39 > 0:23:41These are my father's, you know?

0:23:43 > 0:23:48Started up his own little grocery store with nothing but 99p,

0:23:48 > 0:23:54built it up till Cash Cow supermarkets lured away his customers

0:23:54 > 0:23:56with their stupid advert.

0:23:57 > 0:24:01- In the end, it was only worth... - 98p.

0:24:03 > 0:24:06I formed this agency and perfected SAD

0:24:06 > 0:24:11to secretly turn advertising against those who use it.

0:24:11 > 0:24:14With the master communicator, the SAD will infect every phone

0:24:14 > 0:24:21- and television in the world.- I will instruct everybody to stop spending.

0:24:22 > 0:24:26In hours, the entire planet will know what it feels like

0:24:26 > 0:24:29to be worth less than 99p.

0:24:29 > 0:24:32Those are people I care about and you're using them!

0:24:32 > 0:24:34Is that what your dad would have wanted?

0:24:34 > 0:24:36Let's help you see the light.

0:24:38 > 0:24:41Give him the glasses.

0:24:41 > 0:24:45Keri, hear my voice. It's me, Dan. Listen to me.

0:24:45 > 0:24:49Remember your lashes? Remember how they make your eyes sore?

0:24:49 > 0:24:51I think you should blink three times.

0:24:51 > 0:24:53Blink!

0:24:55 > 0:24:58- What's going on?- Usual stuff.

0:24:58 > 0:25:00Well, get them!

0:25:00 > 0:25:03- I need a minute to programme it. - You don't have a minute.

0:25:03 > 0:25:05They're heading our way.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12He's controlling everything from the tablet. Hold them off.

0:25:16 > 0:25:20- THEY CHANT:- Locate base.

0:25:39 > 0:25:44- Destroy all billboards.- No!

0:25:45 > 0:25:50- THEY CHANT:- Destroy all billboards.

0:25:52 > 0:25:54It's working. We have control.

0:26:18 > 0:26:22What has happened here?!

0:26:23 > 0:26:25I'll tell you what's happened.

0:26:25 > 0:26:27Finally, people have listened!

0:26:27 > 0:26:31They've risen up and joined me in one of my causes,

0:26:31 > 0:26:32The corners have turned.

0:26:32 > 0:26:35Brothers, sisters, victory!

0:26:37 > 0:26:40I'll fetch my dustpan and brush.

0:26:47 > 0:26:52I was wrong. I thought there was far less to you than meets the eye.

0:26:52 > 0:26:56Yep, well, that's anti-advertising for you.

0:26:56 > 0:26:57Go on.

0:27:01 > 0:27:06- Wow.- You know what though? These laser lashes are awesome.

0:27:06 > 0:27:11- We should totally get Frank to make more, advertise them.- No, Keri.

0:27:11 > 0:27:13- But we'd make a fortune.- No, Keri.

0:27:17 > 0:27:20All right, Roland? Felicity, ready? Here we go.

0:27:20 > 0:27:24St Heart's, just the way it is. Take two.

0:27:24 > 0:27:26Ow!

0:27:26 > 0:27:28Action.

0:27:28 > 0:27:30(RAPS) Listen up and listen good.

0:27:30 > 0:27:34There's loads of reasons to try and zap St Heart's.

0:27:34 > 0:27:36They let you represent and are committed to the arts.

0:27:36 > 0:27:40And they don't put your progress on stupid charts.

0:27:40 > 0:27:43- It's all about the blag, the swag and the bling.- Bling, bling, bling.

0:27:43 > 0:27:46St Heart's is a place where you can do your thing.

0:27:46 > 0:27:48Do your thing.