0:00:06 > 0:00:09# You're my light When I'm not feeling strong
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# You put me right when I am going wrong
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# You're my hands When my arms are tied
0:00:22 > 0:00:25# You colour me in When I'm black and white
0:00:29 > 0:00:30# You pick me up when I fall down
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# You take my frown And you turn it around
0:00:34 > 0:00:38# I couldn't wish for better friends To share my life with
0:00:38 > 0:00:43# Don't be sad or lonely if you Need someone to hold your hand
0:00:44 > 0:00:48# Me and my monsters can
0:00:50 > 0:00:53# Me and my monsters can. #
0:01:00 > 0:01:02PHONE RINGS
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Hello? Oh, hi, Linda!
0:01:05 > 0:01:07How's the new baby?
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Being a mum's a difficult job.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13You have to do three things at once and then another five,
0:01:13 > 0:01:17but all the time looking like you're doing nothing at all.
0:01:17 > 0:01:18That's impressive.
0:01:19 > 0:01:23Oh, no, Linda, that would be absolutely fine.
0:01:23 > 0:01:28Angela would love to look after your new baby boy while you and I go out.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Gimme, gimme, gimme!
0:01:32 > 0:01:33See you later!
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Angela's not going to like that!
0:01:35 > 0:01:38- She won't mind.- I won't mind what?
0:01:38 > 0:01:42- Looking after my friend Linda's baby this afternoon.- No way!
0:01:42 > 0:01:45You see? I told you she wouldn't mind.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Mum, you know I can't stand babies.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51I know, that's because they remind you of you, isn't it?
0:01:51 > 0:01:52Ah!
0:01:55 > 0:01:56Well, I think that went very well.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00You should see little Rufus, though, Nick,
0:02:00 > 0:02:01he is the cutest baby, he really is.
0:02:01 > 0:02:06Oh, dear. The last time I saw that look in your eye, we got Eddie.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Remember how cute he and Angela used to be?
0:02:08 > 0:02:13Not like they are now, they were both so much more...baby.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15I miss having babies around.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19No, no, no, no, no, no way! Look, don't even think about it.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Two children in this household is quite enough.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24We've got more than two, darling.
0:02:24 > 0:02:25Ta-da!
0:02:29 > 0:02:30My point exactly.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35Norman says, why was the human mum thingy talking about babies?
0:02:35 > 0:02:37What's a babies?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39A baby is like a tiny little person.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41I get it.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45- He doesn't.- Haggis?- Hmm?- Pass me that thing you're sitting on.- My bottom?
0:02:45 > 0:02:48No, the thing under it.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50- Oh.- This is my baby photo album.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54- Oh...- This is me as a baby.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57That can't be you, it's tiny!
0:02:57 > 0:02:59I got bigger.
0:02:59 > 0:03:00Mum and Dad stretched you?
0:03:00 > 0:03:01That's awful!
0:03:01 > 0:03:05And the little you has no hair! Do you wear a wig?
0:03:05 > 0:03:06Haggis, see if it comes off!
0:03:07 > 0:03:11- Ow!- No, this wig is stuck on pretty good.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Get off! It's not a wig!
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Your hair grows as you get older.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19All right, you fur balls. My hairbrush is missing,
0:03:19 > 0:03:21and it doesn't take a genius of
0:03:21 > 0:03:24my intelligence to work out that you've stolen it.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28- Ah-ha! - Hey, that Norman's toothbrush!
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Oh, I can't apologise enough.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Wait, no, I can't apologise at all!
0:03:33 > 0:03:35You can keep that.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39- Now, that's what I call a wig! - Can we have a babies?
0:03:39 > 0:03:42No, only mummies and daddies know how to make them.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Well, I guess we better ask the human dad thingy, then.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48Argh!
0:03:48 > 0:03:51- Don't do that!- Too close?
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Go away, I've got a lot of work to do.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56We were wondering if we could ask you a question.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00If I answer the question, what are the chances of you leaving me alone?
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Hmm, 50/50?
0:04:02 > 0:04:04I'll take the odds. What's the question?
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Where do babies come from?
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Ah... That's not what I was expecting at all.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12How do I explain this?
0:04:13 > 0:04:16Yes! Let me tell you about the birds and the bees!
0:04:16 > 0:04:20OK, so there's a bee, it's flying along, it lands on a flower,
0:04:20 > 0:04:24then the bird comes along, yeah? And, pop, it plucks the flower.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25SQUEAKING
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Norman wants to know what kind of bird it is.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29I don't know, it's a pigeon.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32So, the mummy bird plucks the flower, and its tummy gets all big
0:04:32 > 0:04:34because it's got an egg in there.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Oh, eggs! I love eggs!
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Do you want to know this or not?
0:04:39 > 0:04:43That's what we said, yes. I can't believe you forgotten already!
0:04:43 > 0:04:45OK, where was I?
0:04:45 > 0:04:48On the chair, there. You haven't moved.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54I know, right? OK, I think you're getting a little bit confused.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58Why don't I summarise where we've got to? So there's a bee...
0:04:58 > 0:05:02and a bag of flour, and then a bird comes along,
0:05:02 > 0:05:04yeah, somehow gets stung by the bee,
0:05:04 > 0:05:08and he's eaten an egg, tummy gets all big...
0:05:08 > 0:05:11That's not what I said not all.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Are you sure? You couldn't remember where you were sitting earlier.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16So how does the babies come?
0:05:16 > 0:05:19The baby's in the mum's tummy, it gets delivered,
0:05:19 > 0:05:22that's how you get one and that's all I'm going to say!
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Hold on.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Why are you asking me this?
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Has Kate been talking to you about babies?
0:05:29 > 0:05:35Maybe...and maybe she's been talking to babies about you!
0:05:37 > 0:05:41- What does that mean?- No idea, I never know what to say to them!
0:05:41 > 0:05:44So long!
0:05:46 > 0:05:52- Ah! I need a rest after all that intensive learning.- Me too.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56Oh! Something just bit me on my bottom!
0:05:56 > 0:06:00Relax, Haggis, it was probably just a bee.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04Wait! A bee stung you!
0:06:04 > 0:06:06And you had an egg this morning!
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Yes, I did, it was a delicious green one.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Rrrrrrrrr!
0:06:11 > 0:06:14Hmm. Why is Norman pointing at my tummy?
0:06:14 > 0:06:19Because your tummy's all big and you've been stung by a bee
0:06:19 > 0:06:20and you had an egg this morning!
0:06:20 > 0:06:26Haggis, you're going to have a baby!
0:06:27 > 0:06:28I knew it, I knew it!
0:06:28 > 0:06:31I knew I wasn't fat, I...
0:06:31 > 0:06:33I'm so happy!
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- Haggis, why are you crying? - I'm going to have a baby!
0:06:39 > 0:06:42We're all very excited, Haggis mainly.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Don't be silly, Haggis, you're not pregnant,
0:06:45 > 0:06:46you've just got a big belly.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48How can you say such a thing?
0:06:48 > 0:06:50A mother knows!
0:06:50 > 0:06:54- Ah-ha, isn't it girl monsters who have babies?- Yep!
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Well, Haggis is a boy.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00Ah, yes...good point, Eddie.
0:07:00 > 0:07:05I'm so sorry, Haggis, we've gone and got this all totally wrong.
0:07:05 > 0:07:06You must be a girl.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08I guess I was wrong, then.
0:07:08 > 0:07:09So how does the baby come out?
0:07:09 > 0:07:12The human dad thingy said it's going to be delivered.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14I'm assuming by post.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17NORMAN SPEAKS GIBBERISH
0:07:17 > 0:07:21Norman's asking if your mother made you, Eddie,
0:07:21 > 0:07:26and Haggis is making his baby, I mean her baby, then who made Norman?
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Don't ask me. Sorry, Norm.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Right, now,
0:07:30 > 0:07:34if Haggis is going to have a baby, we have a lot of preparation to do.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37I saw a programme once where someone had a baby.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41- What happened?- Well, apparently you need lots of hot towels.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45This really doesn't sound anything like what I was learning in biology.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47I think I'll go look it up in my textbook.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51Well, suit yourself. Haggis, you go and get the towels,
0:07:51 > 0:07:54I'll go and buy a whole load of baby things from the internet.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03- This one's nice and hot. - All done buying the baby stuff!
0:08:03 > 0:08:07I chose super-ultra-hyper-lightspeed fast-as-you-like,
0:08:07 > 0:08:10"Come on, come on, get out of my way!" express delivery,
0:08:10 > 0:08:12so it should be here pretty soon.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17So...how's it all going in a hot towel central?
0:08:17 > 0:08:19This one has gone cold again!
0:08:19 > 0:08:25Having a baby is more complicated than I thought.
0:08:25 > 0:08:26Bedoing!
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Oh, Norman, you found her.
0:08:28 > 0:08:33Haggis, that is not Norman's mum, that is a balloon animal.
0:08:33 > 0:08:39That's it, that's it. I hate living with you jumped-up hamsters.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42First you steal my hairbrush, then you nick my hairdryer.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47- What do you think you're doing? - We're making hot towels.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Haggis is pregnant.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52There's a baby in my tummy.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Oh, I see, you're pregnant.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Well, I know everything there is to know about babies so...
0:08:58 > 0:09:00How do you work that out?
0:09:00 > 0:09:02I'm the cleverest person in this family.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04I'm 13, the age when you know the most things.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Before 13, you're learning stuff,
0:09:06 > 0:09:07and after that you're forgetting it.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11You think Mum and Dad are cleverer just because they're older?
0:09:11 > 0:09:14No way! They are 25 years stupider.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16So are you going to listen to me or...?
0:09:16 > 0:09:18- Yes, sir!- Sure thing!
0:09:18 > 0:09:22Right, well, let's get started.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26Before we do, I think we all know that this little monster baby needs
0:09:26 > 0:09:28a father, and while I am not the real father,
0:09:28 > 0:09:31and I'd like to make that absolutely clear,
0:09:31 > 0:09:34I am willing to volunteer for the role.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Oh, I think I'm going to cry!
0:09:36 > 0:09:39This supportive father thing is tougher than I thought.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42Perhaps I should get some advice from the real thing.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45How's things, Nick?
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Can I call you Nick? I think it's appropriate given the situation.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50You promised you'd go away.
0:09:50 > 0:09:55I said 50/50. Anyway, Nick, just thought I'd drop in and have a chat
0:09:55 > 0:09:57about this whole "new dad" thing.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59I'm not going to be a new father.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02No, no, of course. You're not going to be a "new" father.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04You've done it before.
0:10:04 > 0:10:05Now, let me pick your brains.
0:10:05 > 0:10:10What's the first thing that comes into your head when I say the words,
0:10:10 > 0:10:12"Congratulations, you're a dad"!
0:10:12 > 0:10:16- What?- Hmm, terror.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Interesting. Well, I can relate to that.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20It is frightening, isn't it?
0:10:20 > 0:10:24So there's really going to be a new baby? Kate hasn't said anything.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26- Why would she? - I'm not ready for this.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Ha! You and me both, buster!
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Anyway, Nick, thanks for the chat.
0:10:32 > 0:10:33You've been great.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37It's important to remember to breathe.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39OK.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43HE BREATHES DEEPLY
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Now, what was I supposed to remember again?
0:10:45 > 0:10:49It doesn't say anything in here about baby monsters.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51What's going on?
0:10:51 > 0:10:53And what are you doing here?
0:10:53 > 0:10:57Angela is teaching Haggis about having a baby.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Since when were you the expert?
0:10:59 > 0:11:03And why is Norman hugging the microwave?
0:11:03 > 0:11:07- It told him that it was his mother. - Ping!- See?
0:11:07 > 0:11:11World's greatest mum.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14OK, we need to make the room just right for the baby to be delivered.
0:11:14 > 0:11:19Norman, you need to tap-dance. While sticking a finger in each ear.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Fiend, you need to be chanting,
0:11:24 > 0:11:27"Welcome, Mr Baby, please come and say hello".
0:11:27 > 0:11:31Welcome Mr Baby, please come and say hello.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Now, you don't want to scare the baby
0:11:33 > 0:11:36so you need to be nice and quiet.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Stop it!
0:11:38 > 0:11:41You're just doing this to make us all looks stupid.
0:11:41 > 0:11:42DOORBELL
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Got to go.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Oh, I'm so going to get Angela for this.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Ooh! Oh, I can feel something.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50No, You can't, Haggis.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53It's coming. Boil some towels.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Oh Oh! Oh! OH!
0:11:56 > 0:11:58HE BREAKS WIND
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Now, erm, as you were.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- Angela?- Yes.- You're looking after my little angel this afternoon.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09- Oh, I thought I was looking after your baby.- Angela.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11- I mean, that's right. - Make sure you take good care of him.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Don't you worry. He'll be fine with me.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16I'm used to dealing with little monsters.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18I mean, he seems very nice.
0:12:18 > 0:12:22He is. To be honest, it'll be good to get away for a couple of hours
0:12:22 > 0:12:25and have a real conversation that doesn't just involve me going,
0:12:25 > 0:12:26"Goo, goo, goo!"
0:12:27 > 0:12:31Well, I can't definitely promise better than that.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32Let's go.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Hello, Baby. Hello, Baby.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42- CRYING - Hmm? My baby's here.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46Your dad said it would be delivered and it has been!
0:12:46 > 0:12:49No, that baby upstairs belongs to a friend of Mum's.
0:12:49 > 0:12:50Yeah, well, that's me.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52I'm a friend of your mum's.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Oh, come on, that was a funny face.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58This is going to be a rubbish afternoon.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Where's my baby? Where's my...?
0:13:01 > 0:13:03He looks just like me.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Yeah, same, big, fat face.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10- So, what does he do? - Nothing. It doesn't know how
0:13:10 > 0:13:14to do anything for itself yet. Well, it can sleep and eat and poo.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18Ah! Like Haggis but smaller!
0:13:18 > 0:13:20NORMAN SPEAKS GIBBERISH
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Norman wants to know when we can start stretching it.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25You can't stretch a baby!
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Well how else is it going to grow?
0:13:27 > 0:13:32It grows by itself. Hello, hello.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35What's it wearing on its bottom?
0:13:35 > 0:13:37It's like underpants but you
0:13:37 > 0:13:40- don't have to take them off to go to the toilet.- What, you just...?
0:13:40 > 0:13:43- Yeah, go in them.- Brilliant!
0:13:46 > 0:13:51- Ha ha!- Wow! That baby's the best monster ever.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54We should make him our king.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Oh, I think I love my little...
0:13:59 > 0:14:03- I'm going to have to think of a name.- He needs a name.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06He already has a name. His name's Rufus.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Are you trying to name Haggis' baby?
0:14:09 > 0:14:13This is not Haggis' baby. Go on, Eddie, tell them.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17- Well, was it your baby?- No.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Well, then it must be Haggis' baby.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22BABY BREAKS WIND
0:14:22 > 0:14:24You see? He takes after his mother.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Why does he keep crying?
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Probably because he's frightened of your awful voice.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36- Hey, look, this should help. - Oh, Eddie, get off.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38What? I'm just doing what you said.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40- OK.- Admit it. You made all that stuff up.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42OK, just get off.
0:14:42 > 0:14:47I can't let you look after my baby because you are very irresponsible.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Give me my baby.
0:14:51 > 0:14:52You're not having the baby.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56BABY CRIES
0:14:59 > 0:15:01BABY STOPS CRYING
0:15:03 > 0:15:06BABY CRIES
0:15:07 > 0:15:09BABY STOPS CRYING
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Maybe you should look after him.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Well, of course I should!
0:15:15 > 0:15:19- I'm his mummy.- Now, what say we give this baby a name, hm?
0:15:19 > 0:15:20DOORBELL RINGS
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Hi! New baby, is it?
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Very exciting. Congratulations!
0:15:25 > 0:15:27- Sign here, thanks.- Hm? What?
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Thank you.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32No, wait. No, I'm not having a new baby.
0:15:34 > 0:15:35Am I?!
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Are you sure that's how you spell it?
0:15:39 > 0:15:41NORMAN SPEAKS GIBBERISH
0:15:41 > 0:15:43OK, what's everyone's favourite?
0:15:43 > 0:15:46EVERYONE SHOUTS
0:15:46 > 0:15:50- OK, this is getting us nowhere. - You choose, Eddie.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53- I like them all. - What about all of them?
0:15:53 > 0:15:57What, Bim-Bim Trussle Larald Buster Hey You Gandhi Chestnut Barmcake
0:15:57 > 0:16:02- Bing III Buzz Ping Squeak Wha Boing Boing?- Boing-boing!
0:16:02 > 0:16:04I'll call him Bim-Bim for short.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08Now then, how's the kid doing?
0:16:08 > 0:16:11You do realise he's not actually your baby?
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Of course it's not my baby!
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Oh, good.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19It's Haggis's! So, tell me, is he talking yet?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21No! He's a baby.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Hm... I'm worried about our boy, Haggis.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25He can't even speak!
0:16:25 > 0:16:28I think we might have a simpleton on our hands. Another you!
0:16:30 > 0:16:33A good school, that's what he needs.
0:16:33 > 0:16:38Smarten him up. Hm, I think I should get an experienced opinion on this.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Nick, quick question.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Have you thought about schools?
0:16:44 > 0:16:47Perhaps we can use some of the old Carlson family connections.
0:16:47 > 0:16:52I mean, yes, Australia is a long distance for a school run,
0:16:52 > 0:16:55but sometimes a father has to make sacrifices.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58- What?- Oh, you are so right!
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Wow, this has definitely helped.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03That's really a weight off my mind.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Good talking to you.
0:17:13 > 0:17:18- Did you have a nice time, darling? - Yes.- Can I just have a quick word with you?- Of course, darling.
0:17:20 > 0:17:21Linda, I won't be a sec.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23OK. I'll leave you to it.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Why have you bought all this baby stuff?
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Why have YOU bought all this baby stuff?
0:17:31 > 0:17:35- Are you trying to tell me something? - Are you trying to tell ME something?
0:17:35 > 0:17:37- You're pregnant, aren't you?- What?
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Is that why you bought this stuff?
0:17:39 > 0:17:41I thought you bought it! That's why I assumed you must be...
0:17:41 > 0:17:44I didn't buy it, Nick, because I'm not pregnant.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Well, who bought it all, then?
0:17:48 > 0:17:50BOTH: Monsters.
0:17:50 > 0:17:54You had better tell me what is going on around here right now,
0:17:54 > 0:17:56or there's going to be a lot of trouble.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58- I've had a baby.- What?
0:17:58 > 0:17:59Well, sort of.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Haggis thought he was pregnant, and then...
0:18:02 > 0:18:05How on earth did Haggis think he was pregnant?
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Well, there was a bee, and I'd had an egg,
0:18:07 > 0:18:09and there was a baby in my tummy,
0:18:09 > 0:18:12and it got delivered, just like he said.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16- Nick? What have you told them?- Just about the birds and the bees.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18He's a brilliant man, your husband.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Yeah, look, about that...
0:18:20 > 0:18:21By the time I count to three,
0:18:21 > 0:18:24I do not want to see a single monster in this room.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26That's fine. There's two of us.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28- Get out!- Immediately.- OK.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Not that way! We have company!
0:18:35 > 0:18:36Hi, Kate.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40Sorry to be a pain, but I need to be getting Rufus home soon for his bath,
0:18:40 > 0:18:44- so I'll just take him and be off. - Absolutely, Linda.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Where's the baby?
0:18:48 > 0:18:50- It was just in the pram! - Haggis must have taken it.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Then go get him back!
0:18:56 > 0:18:57Linda!
0:18:57 > 0:19:02Erm, can I please show you something in the hallway?
0:19:03 > 0:19:08Coochie coochie coo! How's my little babykins?
0:19:08 > 0:19:13Ah, don't you worry about our boy, Haggis. I'm keeping an eye on him.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15And another eight, just to be safe!
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Wait, look at how he's lying there.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Is that normal, what he's doing?
0:19:20 > 0:19:25I've no idea. I'm a terrible father!
0:19:25 > 0:19:28And how am I going to make him eat his vegetables? I hate vegetables.
0:19:28 > 0:19:32I won't be able to demonstrate! Oh, this is way too much responsibility!
0:19:32 > 0:19:36Haggis, that's not your baby. You have to give him back.
0:19:36 > 0:19:40Yes. Thank you. Take him away! We're unfit parents!
0:19:40 > 0:19:43But he's my baby. You said so!
0:19:43 > 0:19:48I know I did, Haggis, but I was just trying to get Angela back.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52And she was so bad at looking after the baby, and you were good at it.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56But of course I was good at it. He's my baby!
0:19:56 > 0:19:58OK, that's it. I'm getting Mum.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05- Nice hallway, huh?- Yes...
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Is that what you wanted to show me?
0:20:07 > 0:20:10No! No. Angela!
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Hey, let's show Linda that dance we do!
0:20:12 > 0:20:16Mum, can you go and fix this thing in the basement, please?
0:20:16 > 0:20:17I'd love to.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20One moment, Linda.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Nick, what on earth is going on?
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Do you like being a mummy, Haggis?
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Yes, I do.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43It's great, isn't it?
0:20:43 > 0:20:46It's absolutely my favourite thing.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49I mean, OK, it can be pretty tiring, and children
0:20:49 > 0:20:51always want everything done for them.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53Everything.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56I mean, why can't they do it for themselves?
0:20:56 > 0:20:58I never get a moment's peace.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00I feel so fat and ugly.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03I can't get into any of my nice clothes.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06I know! It's hard being a mum.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08But I love it, because I love my babies,
0:21:08 > 0:21:11just like you love that little baby.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15But there's someone who loves him even more than you do, Haggis -
0:21:15 > 0:21:16his real mummy.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19And she'd like to have him back.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21But isn't he my baby?
0:21:21 > 0:21:24I'm afraid not.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27I know Nick told you about the birds and the bees,
0:21:27 > 0:21:29but you really shouldn't listen to a thing
0:21:29 > 0:21:32my ridiculous husband tells you.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35- That is a slight on a wonderful man! - Be quiet, Fiend.
0:21:37 > 0:21:42Anyway, babies come out of girl monsters, and you're not a girl,
0:21:42 > 0:21:44even thought you've got a handbag.
0:21:44 > 0:21:45MY handbag!
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Can I be a daddy?
0:21:50 > 0:21:54Maybe one day. Maybe you'll meet a lady monster and together
0:21:54 > 0:21:55you can be the mummy and the daddy
0:21:55 > 0:21:58and have all the monster babies you want.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00I would be a good daddy.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04I'm sure you would. But you need to give me Rufus back now.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10OK.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13Thank you.
0:22:23 > 0:22:27Bye-bye, little Bim-Bim Trussle Fiend II Larald Hey You Gandhi
0:22:27 > 0:22:31Chestnut Barmcake Fiend III Buzz Ping Squeak Wha
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Boing Boing.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Goodbye, Son!
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Make good choices!
0:22:39 > 0:22:42Follow your bliss!
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Join in when you think you've got it, Linda.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Nick, stop dancing. I want my baby back right now, please!
0:22:49 > 0:22:54Here you go, Linda, your beautiful baby boy.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57He was just having such a nice sleep I didn't want to wake him.
0:22:57 > 0:23:02Anyway, really lovely to see you again.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05- Bye! Don't be a stranger.- Thanks!
0:23:10 > 0:23:13Why has Norman got a microwave?
0:23:13 > 0:23:17- It's his mother. - Mm, it told him in beeps.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Beep beep beep!
0:23:20 > 0:23:22That just means the food's ready.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Er, yes, I thought so.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27It just seemed mean to point it out.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30Sorry, Normy, old pal,
0:23:30 > 0:23:32looks like you're going to have to keep on looking.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34NORMAN SQUEAKS
0:23:34 > 0:23:37Well, you can keep on looking in the basement. Go on, shoo.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46And as for you, Angela, I think you and I
0:23:46 > 0:23:49need to have a long and boring talk about responsibility.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52Don't you?
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Haggis, what's the matter?
0:23:55 > 0:23:57No babies for me any more.
0:23:57 > 0:23:58Yeah. Shame.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Oh, well, things move on.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Que sera sera. Tomorrow's another day.
0:24:03 > 0:24:07- Plenty more fish in the sea.- Yes. - Many a mickle makes a muckle.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09- Any of this helping?- No, not really.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12No. All I wanted to be was a mummy.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15NORMAN SQUEAKS
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Ta-da!
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Oh! Erm, for me?
0:24:25 > 0:24:29I hate to admit it, but parents have a tough job.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Having kids is actually quite hard work.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35But you don't need a real baby to have someone to look after.
0:24:35 > 0:24:40There's normally someone in the family who's happy to act like one.
0:24:46 > 0:24:52# Don't be sad and lonely If you need someone to hold your hand
0:24:52 > 0:24:55# Me and my monsters can. #
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:24:57 > 0:24:59E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk