0:00:06 > 0:00:09# You're my might when I'm not feeling strong
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# You put me right when I am going wrong
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# You're my hands when my arms are tied
0:00:22 > 0:00:25# You colour me in when I'm black and white
0:00:28 > 0:00:30# You pick me up when I fall down
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# You take my frown and you turn it around
0:00:33 > 0:00:37# I couldn't wish for better friends to share my life with
0:00:38 > 0:00:40# Don't be sad or lonely
0:00:40 > 0:00:44# If you need someone to hold your hand
0:00:44 > 0:00:48# Me and my monsters can
0:00:49 > 0:00:52# Me and my monsters can. #
0:00:55 > 0:00:57SMASH!
0:01:00 > 0:01:02'Do you ever get that feeling that wherever you are
0:01:02 > 0:01:06'and whatever you're doing, somebody somewhere
0:01:06 > 0:01:08'is having more fun than you? I know I do,
0:01:08 > 0:01:12'but then I've got three monsters living in my basement
0:01:12 > 0:01:16'and they've turned having fun into a full-time job.'
0:01:16 > 0:01:17FIEND SIGHS
0:01:17 > 0:01:21- Oh.- Oh. Don't swallow.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23- Ha-ha.- Do NOT swallow!
0:01:23 > 0:01:25But bogeys are so tasty.
0:01:25 > 0:01:26I don't care!
0:01:26 > 0:01:30- Do not... - GULP!
0:01:30 > 0:01:33- Oh...- Norman did that.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Haggis... We're going to need that ball back, buddy.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39And we both know there's only one way to get it.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45HAGGIS SNIGGERS
0:01:47 > 0:01:49- Hmmf, hmmf, hmmf!- I got it!
0:01:51 > 0:01:52Aaaargh!
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Ha, ha-ha!
0:01:54 > 0:01:57Best...tournament...ever!
0:01:57 > 0:01:59What's that?
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Oh...
0:02:01 > 0:02:05Looks like the upstairs human-thingy people have been storing stuff here.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Is it mine?
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Well, it says "do not touch" on it,
0:02:09 > 0:02:12so I'm...pretty sure we shouldn't touch it.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Which is fine with me! I mean, I...
0:02:14 > 0:02:17I'm fine with that. Th... Tha... That's fine.
0:02:17 > 0:02:22Well, it's not a...problem with me. No, not a...problem.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23At all!
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Yes. Well...
0:02:27 > 0:02:30- Ha! Ha-ha!- Ha-ha, ha! Ha!
0:02:31 > 0:02:35- Junk.- It's all rubbish, isn't it? - It's terrible... Oh!
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Oh...
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Look at this shiny stuff.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43- TOGETHER:- Shiny stuff.
0:02:43 > 0:02:49Shiny stuff. Shiny stuff.
0:02:49 > 0:02:53- CHANTING:- Shiny stuff! Shiny stuff!
0:02:53 > 0:02:55THUMPING IN TIME WITH CHANTING
0:02:58 > 0:03:01CHANTING GROWS FASTER AND LOUDER
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Shiny stuff! Shiny stuff! Shiny stuff!
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Shiny stuff! Shiny stuff! Shiny stuff!
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- Shiny stuff! Shiny stuff! Shiny stuff!- Shut up!
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Oh! No. No, not you.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14Um... You know, just...
0:03:16 > 0:03:18So, um...
0:03:18 > 0:03:20How's, um... How's work?
0:03:20 > 0:03:22- You mean school?- Yup!
0:03:22 > 0:03:26- Hmm. - Well, it was careers day yesterday
0:03:26 > 0:03:29and you said you'd come in and give a talk about working in advertising...
0:03:29 > 0:03:32- and you didn't turn up. - Oh, that's great. That's great!
0:03:32 > 0:03:34You're not listening, are you?
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Ah! Hey, magic!
0:03:37 > 0:03:40- I've decided to join the Army.- Mmm.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43- Mm.- I'm getting a tattoo. Is that cool?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Yup.
0:03:45 > 0:03:46Mmm.
0:03:46 > 0:03:47Can I borrow the car?
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Yeah, sure.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53EDDIE SIGHS
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Mm-hmm. Yeah.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58Hi, guys!
0:03:58 > 0:03:59- Huh!- What are you doing?
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Nothing! Why, what have you heard?
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Did you do that?
0:04:04 > 0:04:06No... I... I don't know!
0:04:06 > 0:04:07Who can say?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Um... That was years ago!
0:04:09 > 0:04:10What have you got there?
0:04:10 > 0:04:13- Urh-orh.- Noth...- Nothing!
0:04:13 > 0:04:18- NORMAN GIBBERS AND SQUEAKS - Don't mention the shiny stuff!
0:04:18 > 0:04:20What shiny stuff?
0:04:20 > 0:04:21Norman!
0:04:21 > 0:04:24NORMAN GIBBERS
0:04:26 > 0:04:30OK, so we found some shiny stuff from an un-named source,
0:04:30 > 0:04:31but it's ours!
0:04:31 > 0:04:35What's so great about that stuff? It's just junk.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37But it's so shiny.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40And shiny. And then, there's a shine
0:04:40 > 0:04:43and there's a... Look how shiny it is!
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Hmm. Paints quite a picture, doesn't he?
0:04:46 > 0:04:47But look at the mess!
0:04:47 > 0:04:51If I were you, I'd put this stuff back before Mum and Dad find out.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Put it... Are you crazy?!
0:04:53 > 0:04:56- We can't live without shiny stuff!- OK.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58I'll tell you what,
0:04:58 > 0:05:00if you clear up all this shiny stuff,
0:05:00 > 0:05:03I'll give you something even shinier.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Wow!
0:05:06 > 0:05:07What's that?
0:05:07 > 0:05:09It's money!
0:05:10 > 0:05:14Yes! I LOVE money!
0:05:14 > 0:05:15What's money?
0:05:15 > 0:05:19That's money, bogey breath! He just said.
0:05:19 > 0:05:20The important question is,
0:05:20 > 0:05:23how do we get more of it?
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Eddie, where does shiny stuff come from?
0:05:26 > 0:05:27- Mum's purse.- OK.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30And who puts it into her purse?
0:05:30 > 0:05:33- Well, she does, but...- What?!
0:05:33 > 0:05:38You're trying to tell me that she puts shiny stuff into her own purse
0:05:38 > 0:05:40only to take it out again?!
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Well, that doesn't make any sense. Hmm.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46So, where does human Mum-thingy person get this shiny stuff from
0:05:46 > 0:05:50that she puts into her purse only to take back out of her purse?
0:05:50 > 0:05:51- Honk!- Too late!
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Come on, fellas!
0:05:53 > 0:05:57If we want more of this shiny stuff, we have to go to the top.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02# Mm, mm-mm, mm-mm
0:06:02 > 0:06:04# Mmm, mmm, mm-mmm
0:06:04 > 0:06:06# Mm, mm-mm, mmm... #
0:06:06 > 0:06:07Urh, ahhh..
0:06:07 > 0:06:12- Human Mum-thingy person...- No. - Of course, it's so obvious now.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13Thanks for all your help.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15NORMAN GIBBERS
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Wait a second...
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Urnh! You didn't answer my question at all!
0:06:20 > 0:06:24I don't have time for monster stuff today, I'm very busy.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27If I get this apricot souffle just right,
0:06:27 > 0:06:30it could be the start of a big catering contract.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32So I don't want anything to happen to it,
0:06:32 > 0:06:34and by "anything", I mean...you!
0:06:34 > 0:06:37Understood. Just answer us one quick question
0:06:37 > 0:06:40- and we'll be out of your way.- OK.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43What is shiny stuff, who invented it and how do we get more of it?
0:06:43 > 0:06:44Shiny stuff?
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Like in your purse.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Mama-zah! Ha-ha!
0:06:49 > 0:06:52Oh! Um, that's a very complicated question to answer.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55It's OK, we can handle it.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57We're not IDIOTS.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00- Well, just on that... - Um, I have to stop you there,
0:07:00 > 0:07:02I've got my hand stuck in a whisk.
0:07:04 > 0:07:05Huh!
0:07:06 > 0:07:10You know who knows all about shiny stuff?
0:07:10 > 0:07:11Is it me?
0:07:11 > 0:07:12No.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14It's Dad!
0:07:14 > 0:07:15So close!
0:07:15 > 0:07:19Oh, human Dad-thingy person knows all about shiny stuff,
0:07:19 > 0:07:21you reckon.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Well, maybe we'll just go pay him a little...
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Wait a second...
0:07:26 > 0:07:27Urnh! I see what's happening here.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30You're just trying to get rid of us!
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Well, we're not as stupid as we look!
0:07:33 > 0:07:36You can't just fob us off with some silly little distraction.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Look! Shiny stuff!
0:07:38 > 0:07:39Ah!
0:07:43 > 0:07:44Where did it go?
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Erh? NORMAN BURPS LOUDLY
0:07:47 > 0:07:48Out!
0:07:50 > 0:07:52Ha, ha-ha! Heh-heh, heh-heh!
0:07:52 > 0:07:55- Ha-ha, ha-ha!- Ha-ha!
0:07:55 > 0:07:57No, it's mine! Mine!
0:07:57 > 0:07:58Any joy?
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Oh. Well, according to Mum-thingy,
0:08:01 > 0:08:03- Dad-thingy is the expert at shiny stuff.- Yeah.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06Well, good luck getting any sense out of him.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09He's busy working on some big advertising deal.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13Oh...don't you worry, Eddie, my boy,
0:08:13 > 0:08:17he's always got time for the Fiend-meister general. Ha-ha!
0:08:17 > 0:08:18Dad-a-tron!
0:08:18 > 0:08:21- How's life in the fast lane?- Out!
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Good talking to you! See you down the club some time!
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Send my love to the wife!
0:08:26 > 0:08:28FIEND SIGHS
0:08:28 > 0:08:29Told you he was working.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30FIEND SIGHS
0:08:30 > 0:08:33What's the deal with this "work" thing?
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Mum's at it, Dad's at it.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37I mean, what's the point?
0:08:37 > 0:08:40- Well, that's how they earn their money.- Huh!
0:08:40 > 0:08:42So that's how they get the shiny stuff!
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Interesting.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48Very interesting.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Hmmm....
0:08:54 > 0:08:57NORMAN GIBBERS
0:08:59 > 0:09:03I'm telling you, we start our own business!
0:09:03 > 0:09:04It looks easy!
0:09:04 > 0:09:10- We could make loads of shiny stuff and we'd get to keep it all!- Yeah!
0:09:10 > 0:09:11That's a great idea!
0:09:11 > 0:09:15We could be called Basement Monsters Limited.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- That works! I'm very limited.- OK!
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Basement Monsters Limited, it is!
0:09:21 > 0:09:24- Brilliant! OK! I'll be the boss.- Mmm,
0:09:24 > 0:09:26we should probably take a vote.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Hands up who thinks I should be in charge
0:09:28 > 0:09:31and also likes chocolate milkshakes?
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Hmm, sorry, buddy.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36It was a close-run thing.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38You can be in charge of staplers.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41I voted for you.
0:09:42 > 0:09:47Um, I suppose we should decide what the company actually does now.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49We could invent cheese.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Um...
0:09:51 > 0:09:53NORMAN GIBBERS
0:09:53 > 0:09:54They did?
0:09:54 > 0:09:56No-one told me!
0:09:56 > 0:09:57It doesn't matter what we do.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00I was watching Dad-thingy up there and from what I could see,
0:10:00 > 0:10:02all you have to do to make money
0:10:02 > 0:10:04is sound important and talk a load of rubbish!
0:10:04 > 0:10:08And no-one talks rubbish like we do!
0:10:09 > 0:10:11- This way!- I'm coming, Eddie!
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- Yes!- Shiny stuff awaits!
0:10:19 > 0:10:21No more monsters.
0:10:21 > 0:10:27- Mum...- Spoke too soon.- I think Fiend's been using my headphones,
0:10:27 > 0:10:30so can I have some money for a new pair?
0:10:30 > 0:10:33I'll tell you what - you help me make these souffles
0:10:33 > 0:10:36and I'll give you money for headphones.
0:10:36 > 0:10:37Deal.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40Plus, we get to spend some time together.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Yeah! In that case I want double.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46How about you start with something nice and simple -
0:10:46 > 0:10:47spoon duties!
0:10:47 > 0:10:51Oh! Just when I though my life couldn't get more exciting.
0:10:53 > 0:10:54Don't stir it.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Fold it.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59It's a liquid, Mother, you can't fold it.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01It's like telling me to stir a shirt.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04How about you chop the apricots?
0:11:09 > 0:11:11A little smaller.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Smaller.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Bit bigger.
0:11:16 > 0:11:17Mum!
0:11:22 > 0:11:24What are you wearing?!
0:11:24 > 0:11:29- HIGH-PITCHED:- What? I am a businesswoman. Hee-hee!
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Er, why aren't you a business-MAN?
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Sexist!
0:11:34 > 0:11:35Oh...
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Urgh! Ah!
0:11:38 > 0:11:39Fantastic!
0:11:39 > 0:11:42Now let's make some shiny stuff!
0:11:42 > 0:11:45- Miss Haggis?- Mmm?
0:11:45 > 0:11:46- Do I have any calls?- No.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48- Do I have any phones?- No.
0:11:48 > 0:11:49Well, that explains it.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51We need more stuff!
0:11:53 > 0:11:55- KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK! - Come in!
0:11:55 > 0:11:57FIEND CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Ah! Edward! We've got a problem -
0:12:00 > 0:12:04I've got no calls to take and even less phones to take them on.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07OK. I'll go and see if we can borrow some equipment from Dad.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10Great idea! Why didn't you think of that?
0:12:10 > 0:12:13In the meantime, I've got all THIS to deal with.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17Hmm, but it can probably wait until after lunch.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18- Miss Haggis?- Yes?
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Go get us some lunch.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22I'm on my break!
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Nails don't do themselves you know!
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Fine, I'll do it myself.
0:12:27 > 0:12:28Wah!
0:12:31 > 0:12:33What are you doing?
0:12:33 > 0:12:35Centimetre squares, I believe you said.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39Oh, don't be silly, you're supposed to be helping.
0:12:39 > 0:12:40I am helping!
0:12:40 > 0:12:42I don't call THAT helping.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44I don't call THAT food.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46What did you just say?!
0:12:46 > 0:12:51Ah! Um, I'll take two Greek salads, easy on the dressing,
0:12:51 > 0:12:54um, a slice of the meatloaf and I'll have...
0:12:54 > 0:12:55pastrami on rye.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59And no garlic! I've got a million-dollar meeting at three
0:12:59 > 0:13:02and I want to be selling, not smelling. Ha!
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Ba-da-boom, da-da bing!
0:13:05 > 0:13:06Er...
0:13:06 > 0:13:09you want to speed this up a little? I haven't got all day.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12How would you like to be mixed into a souffle?
0:13:12 > 0:13:14- I think you mean folded... - I know it's folded.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Wow! I like you, kid!
0:13:17 > 0:13:19You've got a lot of spirit!
0:13:19 > 0:13:23We could use a feisty-thingy like you down at Monster Towers.
0:13:23 > 0:13:24OK, out you go.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26OK, OK.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28But here's my card.
0:13:28 > 0:13:33Give me a call if you want to start making some serious bucks.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36And thanks for the milkshake.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37What milkshake?
0:13:39 > 0:13:40Fiend!
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Hey, guys! Look at all this stuff I got from Dad's study.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53He was so busy, he didn't even notice.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57Excellent! Now let's get down to business!
0:13:58 > 0:14:00PHONES RING, TILLS DING
0:14:00 > 0:14:03- Edward! We need more phones!- OK.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07# In a sharp new suit and smart white collars
0:14:07 > 0:14:09# I'll look like a million dollars
0:14:09 > 0:14:12# And it won't be long till that is what I'm worth
0:14:13 > 0:14:15# Cos I'm a slippery slick young businessman
0:14:15 > 0:14:18# Gonna get rich quick with my foolproof plan
0:14:18 > 0:14:20# That's why my business is the best on Earth
0:14:22 > 0:14:27- # Yes, that's success you smell - It's monster business
0:14:27 > 0:14:29# Gonna have a good time while the wallets swell
0:14:29 > 0:14:31# It's monster business
0:14:31 > 0:14:34# Look at me, Ma, ain't I doing well?
0:14:34 > 0:14:36# It's monster business
0:14:36 > 0:14:40- # I don't know what we even sell Who cares?- It's monster business... #
0:14:49 > 0:14:53# We get more quarters in each day By phone and fax they want to pay
0:14:53 > 0:14:57# Now we're expanding at a rate of knots
0:14:58 > 0:15:00# Of course that means we'll need more staff
0:15:00 > 0:15:03# So join us It will be a laugh
0:15:03 > 0:15:07# Start off by making tea Soon you'll be making pots
0:15:07 > 0:15:12- # Oh, watch us as our profit soars - It's monster business
0:15:12 > 0:15:16- # We turn one dollar into four - That's monster business
0:15:16 > 0:15:19# I've made a lot of money but I still want more
0:15:19 > 0:15:21# It's monster business
0:15:21 > 0:15:23# If you wanna invest but you're still not sure
0:15:23 > 0:15:25# Trust me It's monster business... #
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Yes. It's a very impressive pitch, Mr Friend.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30It's FIEND.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Oh! Excuse me, I've got another call coming in.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36'Let me hand you over to my senior account executive.'
0:15:37 > 0:15:40NORMAN GIBBERS
0:15:40 > 0:15:43As I was saying to Mr Friend, it's a very impressive pitch,
0:15:43 > 0:15:46but I'm not just going to hand over a big-money contract
0:15:46 > 0:15:48to an unknown company
0:15:48 > 0:15:51'on the strength of some fast talking and fancy words.'
0:15:51 > 0:15:52Mm-hmm.
0:15:52 > 0:15:57Well, I suppose I could give you a few hundred to work up some ideas.
0:15:59 > 0:16:00Oh, uh-drah.
0:16:00 > 0:16:04Well, we could possibly make it £2,000, but not a penny more.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Urgh. Urh?
0:16:07 > 0:16:09OK...
0:16:09 > 0:16:1210,000. But that's my final offer.
0:16:12 > 0:16:13Doo-bah-doo.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Ah, Eddie!
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Go and get me a chocolate milkshake, would you, chap?
0:16:17 > 0:16:19And make it a double!
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Looks like this is going to be an all-nighter.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Chocolate milkshakes.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25300.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27NORMAN IS SILENT
0:16:27 > 0:16:31All right! £350,000, are you happy now?
0:16:31 > 0:16:32'Ha-ha, ha-ha!'
0:16:32 > 0:16:34HE SIGHS
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Well, those guys are good.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Edwards, I think we've found our agency.
0:16:40 > 0:16:44OK, guys, we've got a packed afternoon -
0:16:44 > 0:16:46wheely-chair race at three,
0:16:46 > 0:16:48um, desk-lamp cricket at four
0:16:48 > 0:16:50and a dozen budget reports to make into...
0:16:50 > 0:16:53paper aeroplanes by 5:30.
0:16:55 > 0:17:01- For the chair race, we could use this oil to grease the wheels.- Uh-huh.
0:17:01 > 0:17:07- That's the ticket.- And I brought you...- Yes. Mm-hm.- OK, yes, yes.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Put him on and I'll talk to him. Not now, love.
0:17:10 > 0:17:15Well, he would say that, wouldn't he? Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:17:15 > 0:17:21- I know.- Thank you.- But that's for... - Sorry, darling, we're very busy.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24- If you could just...- Hello, Basement Monsters Ltd. Yes.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27No, you'll have to better than that, my friend.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Shiny stuff's got to move. Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:17:30 > 0:17:34Yes. Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:17:34 > 0:17:35Shut the door.
0:17:35 > 0:17:42There's a draught down here and I'm not wearing tights.
0:17:42 > 0:17:46Where's my oil? How can I cook without my oil?
0:17:46 > 0:17:50No, no, no, I really don't think you should be using this other company.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Yeah, well, I've never heard of them.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58DOORBELL RINGS
0:17:58 > 0:17:59Somebody get that?
0:17:59 > 0:18:04Oh, I'll get it, shall I? It's not like I'm doing anything else(!)
0:18:04 > 0:18:08It's not like I'm cooking a hugely complicated dish for the 800th time.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10- Mr Friend?- Who?
0:18:10 > 0:18:15- Mr Friend?- Oh, it's OK, I'll deal with this.- What?
0:18:15 > 0:18:18- It's fine. It's for me. - No, actually, it's not fine,
0:18:18 > 0:18:22because there's a security guard on my doorstep with a briefcase
0:18:22 > 0:18:27in his hand, so what kind of mother would I be if I turned around...
0:18:27 > 0:18:28BEEPING
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Souffle!
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Thank you.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Wait, wait, you're making a huge mistake. You...
0:18:40 > 0:18:43- PHONE BEEPS - Hello?
0:18:43 > 0:18:45- BEEPING CONTINUES - Hello?
0:18:50 > 0:18:52HE SIGHS
0:18:52 > 0:18:57- What's the matter with you? - Just...business.
0:18:57 > 0:19:02Have you ever started doing something cos you thought it would be fun
0:19:02 > 0:19:06- and then it turns out that it's not fun at all?- Yeah.
0:19:06 > 0:19:12- Sounds like a career in advertising. - Yeah, I know you've been busy.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Yeah. I'm sorry.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18It's silly spending your whole time chasing the big bucks
0:19:18 > 0:19:21and then - boom - it all disappears in a heartbeat.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24They give the money to some fast-talking airheads
0:19:24 > 0:19:30- who don't know what they're doing. - What airheads are these?
0:19:30 > 0:19:33Just some flash new company promising MONSTER profits.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Wait there.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41THEY ALL CHEER
0:19:47 > 0:19:51- Working hard(!)- Not any more.
0:19:51 > 0:19:55We have just signed our first big deal.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57And you know what that means?
0:19:57 > 0:20:03ALL: Shiny stuff! Shiny stuff! Shiny stuff! Shiny stuff!
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Shiny stuff! Shiny stuff!
0:20:07 > 0:20:10That's not shiny. That's not shiny at all.
0:20:10 > 0:20:15- These are just tiny tissues with faces on.- We've been had!
0:20:15 > 0:20:23- And after all our hard work! - Hard work doing what exactly?
0:20:23 > 0:20:26You know, all the talking and phoning and typing.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Ring! Boing! Eeek!
0:20:28 > 0:20:32That goes without saying and this is how they repay us,
0:20:32 > 0:20:34with these...snot-rags?
0:20:34 > 0:20:37These snot-rags are worth far more that that shiny stuff.
0:20:37 > 0:20:42- Guys, there's hundreds here, right? Hundreds and thousands.- Exactly.
0:20:42 > 0:20:48- And what do they get in return? - Well, er...- Um...
0:20:48 > 0:20:53- They, er... We could give them Haggis.- Yay!
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Which one's Haggis?
0:20:55 > 0:20:59Face it, guys, you have no idea what your company actually does.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03Someone's paid you all this money and they won't get anything back
0:21:03 > 0:21:07and they won't like that - you guys are in big trouble.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11- Like when we're in trouble with Mum? - Even worse.
0:21:11 > 0:21:12THEY WHIMPER
0:21:12 > 0:21:17Yeah, he's right, guys. You are in big trouble...
0:21:17 > 0:21:20like huge.
0:21:20 > 0:21:21I resign.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27I might try getting back into the souffle-making business.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34Well, luckily, I had a plan for just such an eventuality.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36THEY ALL SCREAM
0:22:05 > 0:22:11- What are we going to do, Eddie? What are we going to do?- Easy.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15Just phone them back and tell them the truth.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19- What?! They'll think we're crazy. - Exactly.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24ANGRY SHOUTING ON PHONE
0:22:28 > 0:22:32Wow! That man knows a lot of bad words.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:22:42 > 0:22:47- Hello.- Carlson, this is Frank Thornly from Corporacom.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Listen, I've made a bit of a mistake.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53It turns out that new agency we've hired are complete weirdos.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57They've been on the phones spouting some nonsense
0:22:57 > 0:23:00about how they're three monsters living in a basement.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04'Total crazies. Anyway, the deal's still on the table if you want it,'
0:23:04 > 0:23:05but we need to move quickly.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08'Name your price, money's no object.'
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Could you hold for one second?
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! - HE LAUGHS
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Thank you.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24So, um... Yeah, let's talk numbers.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26SCREAMING
0:23:28 > 0:23:30SMASH!
0:23:32 > 0:23:33After you.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37- RADIO:- 'Midwitch Massacre was written by...'
0:23:37 > 0:23:42- What happened to the...- Oh! THEM. It was far too stressful,
0:23:42 > 0:23:45so I pulled out of the running for the catering job.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49- But won't you lose their business? - Maybe, but hey, it's only money.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Yeah, yeah. I can hold.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Oh, are you STILL on that phone?
0:23:54 > 0:23:57There's more to life than work, work, work, you know.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Hi, I'd like a table for four, please.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Ah. Eight o'clock?
0:24:02 > 0:24:06Yeah. It's for the Carlson family. Yeah.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08We're celebrating.
0:24:08 > 0:24:09Thanks, bye.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12'I'll never fully understand my monsters,
0:24:12 > 0:24:14'but at least they've realised
0:24:14 > 0:24:17'that sometimes, having a bit of fun is more important
0:24:17 > 0:24:18'than making a lot of money.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22'And we're all glad to see them back to their old selves.'
0:24:22 > 0:24:24I said, "for four".
0:24:24 > 0:24:27'Well, most of us are.'
0:24:27 > 0:24:31One, two, six, two, three, seven, four!
0:24:31 > 0:24:34OK. Maybe we'll just order some pizza.
0:24:34 > 0:24:35- Woo-hoo!- My shout!
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Ah!
0:24:46 > 0:24:50# Don't be sad and lonely If you need someone to hold your hand
0:24:52 > 0:24:56# My and my monsters can. #
0:24:56 > 0:24:57E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk