A Different Christmas

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0:00:03 > 0:00:07It's Christmas, time of joy and happiness... you'd think.

0:00:08 > 0:00:10One.

0:00:10 > 0:00:12Two.

0:00:12 > 0:00:14Three.. Ta-da!

0:00:16 > 0:00:19That's fake. We can't put our real angel on a fake tree!

0:00:19 > 0:00:21The angel's not real either.

0:00:21 > 0:00:25It's not a fake tree, it's...almost real. Look, smell it.

0:00:25 > 0:00:28Mmm, Lauren. Mmm, smell the tree.

0:00:34 > 0:00:37Actually, it does smell pretty good.

0:00:37 > 0:00:39Awesome, tree smelling!

0:00:39 > 0:00:41You see? It's just as good!

0:00:41 > 0:00:43Right, moving on.

0:00:43 > 0:00:49Wait - this isn't a bauble. It's a pine air freshener!

0:00:49 > 0:00:52Mum, fake tree smell! How could you?

0:00:52 > 0:00:54And then that. That's not even a real wreath!

0:00:55 > 0:00:57Ha, it's the Incredible Sulk.

0:00:57 > 0:00:58Eugggh!

0:01:01 > 0:01:02What's up with her?

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Lauren likes Christmas done right.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39And this is the first one since the split.

0:01:39 > 0:01:40So no pressure, then...

0:01:41 > 0:01:44So, girls, I was thinking...

0:01:44 > 0:01:47Wouldn't two Christmases be fun?

0:01:47 > 0:01:53One here, one at Dad's. One plus one is two, two is better than one?

0:01:53 > 0:01:56Double the food and double the presents - I like it. I'm in!

0:01:56 > 0:01:59I'm not. I want everything to be how it always was.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01And how exactly would that work?

0:02:01 > 0:02:03I bet she hasn't thought it through.

0:02:03 > 0:02:06Dad comes here on Christmas Eve and sleeps on the sofa.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09Mike and Craig stay upstairs and we bring them presents.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11Lunch would be in shifts!

0:02:11 > 0:02:13She has thought it through.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15It's nonsense, but she's thought it through.

0:02:15 > 0:02:17Well, that would be pretty awful for Mike.

0:02:17 > 0:02:20I just want Christmas to be great like it always was.

0:02:21 > 0:02:24The thing with Lauren wanting everything to be the same is that

0:02:24 > 0:02:27she has a way of cutting the bad bits out of her memory.

0:02:28 > 0:02:30Like cutting the mushy bits off a banana.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32She remembers it like this...

0:02:32 > 0:02:36Well done, Lauren. Excellent angel-putting-up skills.

0:02:36 > 0:02:41I think this is going to be the best Christmas ever.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44Also, I love real trees.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46Except I remember it more like this...

0:02:49 > 0:02:51There! Perfect!

0:02:55 > 0:02:58This is your fault!

0:03:01 > 0:03:02Awkward...

0:03:02 > 0:03:06Christmas is about tradition - holly, crackers,

0:03:06 > 0:03:07weird pop songs from the '70s!

0:03:07 > 0:03:10Well, we'll have some new traditions.

0:03:10 > 0:03:11New traditions, I love it!

0:03:11 > 0:03:13You can't have new traditions!

0:03:13 > 0:03:16- That's like saying a new...old thing!- Good example.

0:03:16 > 0:03:19Urrggh! Why can't you just compromise and do what I want?

0:03:19 > 0:03:22Because what you want is crazy and impractical!

0:03:22 > 0:03:24Well, you're crazy and impractical!

0:03:24 > 0:03:27I am not impractical! I'm very practical.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33Looks like we'll be keeping one tradition alive - the fighting.

0:03:33 > 0:03:37But hold up, this year I can escape to Dad's.

0:03:38 > 0:03:41Do you think Jake would like a rocket?

0:03:41 > 0:03:44Yeah, but nothing that actually works or he'll fly it into someone.

0:03:44 > 0:03:45- OK, a kite?- Ditto.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47- How about a duck?- Ditto.

0:03:47 > 0:03:50And by Boxing Day, you'd be holding a duck funeral.

0:03:50 > 0:03:52Are you getting me a duck funeral for Christmas?

0:03:52 > 0:03:54Oi! Flappy ears.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56I meant the duck for Christmas lunch. To eat.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58I'd like a pair of glasses.

0:03:58 > 0:03:59You've got perfect vision.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02I know. So if I lose them, it wouldn't be a problem.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05Ducks...duck funeral! Yeah, duck funeral.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07No. Glasses!

0:04:07 > 0:04:10I want a duck funeral.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13YELLING ALL AT ONCE

0:04:13 > 0:04:15Guys, guys!

0:04:15 > 0:04:19Hey, everyone - STOP FIGHTING!

0:04:19 > 0:04:21Hi, Millie. Didn't hear you come in.

0:04:21 > 0:04:25I'm not surprised with all this arguing going on.

0:04:25 > 0:04:29It's cos the way we've done Christmas has always led to fights.

0:04:29 > 0:04:30Christmas can be stressful.

0:04:30 > 0:04:31I like fights.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33That's because your crazy!

0:04:33 > 0:04:35- And Mum likes yelling. - Jake! I do not yell.

0:04:35 > 0:04:36You do at Christmas.

0:04:36 > 0:04:37I don't.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40We don't fight at Christmas.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43THEY ARGUE OVER EACH OTHER

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Guys!

0:04:47 > 0:04:49This is what I mean.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51And it's exactly the same at Mum's.

0:04:52 > 0:04:55What if this year we do things a bit differently?

0:04:55 > 0:05:00I mean, things will be different with Amber and Mike.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05What we need are some new traditions. Yeah?

0:05:10 > 0:05:13Everything new? Seriously!

0:05:13 > 0:05:16It'll be so much fun figuring out the new traditions.

0:05:16 > 0:05:19New decorations. New Christmas movies. New food.

0:05:19 > 0:05:22I am bored of making cinnamon muffins.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25But I love them! So cinnamon-y and muffin-y...

0:05:25 > 0:05:26Lauren. Focus.

0:05:26 > 0:05:27I don't like it.

0:05:27 > 0:05:31I reckon we should just eat popcorn, and watch action movies and slob out!

0:05:31 > 0:05:34How's that different from any other day?

0:05:34 > 0:05:35It's different for you, isn't it?

0:05:35 > 0:05:38Be grateful, I'm giving you new ideas.

0:05:38 > 0:05:39Craig does have a point.

0:05:39 > 0:05:43And Millie has got a point. Oh, my head hurts.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46This is yours and Mum's first Christmas together, right?

0:05:46 > 0:05:48- Yeah.- Yeah.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50OK, moving quickly on.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Don't you want it to be special?

0:05:52 > 0:05:54This way it can be.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56Just think about it - pizza, action movies.

0:05:56 > 0:06:00I do still get to hand out presents, right? Cos that's, like, my role.

0:06:00 > 0:06:03And I don't want to change any of the decorations.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05Especially not the angel on the top of the tree.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07Cos I, like, LOVE the angel.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09So that's everything the same, then?

0:06:09 > 0:06:12We can lose the naff jumpers. They're a crime against fashion.

0:06:12 > 0:06:16I just want Christmas to be less...shouty.

0:06:16 > 0:06:20And maybe, if we do things differently, it can be.

0:06:20 > 0:06:21Just think about it.

0:06:21 > 0:06:22Please.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33Do you think they hate it? I think they hate it.

0:06:35 > 0:06:37I have thought about it and...

0:06:37 > 0:06:38- You hate it?- No!

0:06:38 > 0:06:40Your idea is great,

0:06:40 > 0:06:42let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

0:06:42 > 0:06:46Maybe we can keep some things, you know, the special things?

0:06:46 > 0:06:48You know what your sister is like with change.

0:06:48 > 0:06:49True.

0:06:50 > 0:06:54It took her years to part with her first proper bike.

0:06:54 > 0:06:58Oh, please let me get you a new bike, Lauren.

0:06:58 > 0:06:59And ride it outside!

0:07:02 > 0:07:05And don't get me started on her first goldfish.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08OK. As long as Lauren doesn't get to keep the angel.

0:07:08 > 0:07:10I hate that angel.

0:07:10 > 0:07:12It has creepy eyes and it makes weird things happen.

0:07:12 > 0:07:15OK, the angel stays in the box.

0:07:17 > 0:07:19Millie is going to love this!

0:07:19 > 0:07:22An all-new Christmas with an all-new Christmas dinner.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24That looks like three Christmas dinners.

0:07:24 > 0:07:25It's a turducken.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28A turkey stuffed with a chicken stuffed with a duck.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31How exactly do you get the birds into each other?

0:07:31 > 0:07:33Well, it's a highly technical skill...

0:07:33 > 0:07:36What you do is you cram them in.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38Can I cram the duck into the chicken?

0:07:38 > 0:07:39BOTH: No.

0:07:43 > 0:07:45That looks extremely disturbing.

0:07:45 > 0:07:47I'll get the camera.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49I've just remembered some last-minute shopping. Laters!

0:07:56 > 0:08:00So, Christmas Eve, I reckon board games!

0:08:00 > 0:08:03We're just saving things that are special. Are board games special?

0:08:03 > 0:08:05They date back to...

0:08:05 > 0:08:07Snow Miracle is on! It's so cute with the little snow bear

0:08:07 > 0:08:10and his little snowy nose and all that snow.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12We watched it last year. And the one before.

0:08:12 > 0:08:14What's your idea, then?

0:08:14 > 0:08:16Have you got something brilliantly different for us to do?

0:08:16 > 0:08:18Yeah, course.

0:08:19 > 0:08:21Totally.

0:08:21 > 0:08:22A new tradition coming up!

0:08:26 > 0:08:29You want us to sing Christmas songs?

0:08:29 > 0:08:31- Can you play the keyboard?- No.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33Should've kept up your piano lessons then, shouldn't you?

0:08:33 > 0:08:36Mum! The teacher had hair growing out of his ears.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38And I really wanted to learn guitar. Guitar's brill.

0:08:38 > 0:08:40I thought this was meant to stop the fighting.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43- It will! If Mum would... - I'm just saying.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46So who can play the piano, then?

0:08:46 > 0:08:50No-one, it already has songs pre-programmed into it. Look.

0:08:53 > 0:08:57# On the first day of Christmas My true love sent to me

0:08:57 > 0:09:00# A partridge in a pear tree. #

0:09:00 > 0:09:01And I'm out.

0:09:01 > 0:09:05# On the second day of Christmas My true love sent to me

0:09:05 > 0:09:09# Two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. #

0:09:09 > 0:09:11Wow, Mike, you're really good.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13You can really sing.

0:09:13 > 0:09:17# On the third day of Christmas My true love sent to me

0:09:17 > 0:09:19# Three French hens Two turtle doves

0:09:19 > 0:09:22# And a partridge in a pear tree

0:09:24 > 0:09:26- MUFFLED:- # On the fourth day of Christmas

0:09:26 > 0:09:28# My true love sent to me

0:09:28 > 0:09:32# Five calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves

0:09:32 > 0:09:35# And a partridge in a pear tree! #

0:09:39 > 0:09:44- Hi.- Hi. Were the shops a nightmare of stressed people

0:09:44 > 0:09:46elbowing each other in the name of Christmas?

0:09:46 > 0:09:47Yeah, totally.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49I mean, I tried to remain Zen, then my Zen got shoved in the back

0:09:49 > 0:09:51and trampled on.

0:09:51 > 0:09:53Well, my Zen is alive and well.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55Ordered all my presents online.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Oh, come on, Christmas - piece of cake!

0:09:57 > 0:09:59I don't know what Sharon was so stressed about.

0:09:59 > 0:10:01- Has your stuff been delivered yet? - No.

0:10:01 > 0:10:03You know it's gone six?

0:10:03 > 0:10:06Yeah, they'll come. I ordered them ages ago. Well, two days ago.

0:10:08 > 0:10:12My First Metal Detector for Fran? Pink hair extensions for Lauren?

0:10:12 > 0:10:13And a guitar for Millie?

0:10:13 > 0:10:16Yeah, sweated over those...

0:10:16 > 0:10:19But...they're still in your basket, along with a model coffin

0:10:19 > 0:10:21and a plastic duck for Jake.

0:10:21 > 0:10:22You never pressed "buy".

0:10:22 > 0:10:23No way!

0:10:26 > 0:10:31Way. Oh! OK. I will not lose it.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33I promised Millie this year would be different.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36I'm going to my happy place.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Money! I'll give the kids money. Kids love money.

0:10:38 > 0:10:41And I'll have the dream catcher you almost got me.

0:10:46 > 0:10:50Well, that was different for Christmas Eve.

0:10:50 > 0:10:54You said that would be cute, like Snow Miracle.

0:10:54 > 0:10:57But it was nothing like Snow Miracle.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59What? The couple got together.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01They were both zombies.

0:11:01 > 0:11:04It's a new genre - Rom-Zom.

0:11:04 > 0:11:10Right, girls, sooner to bed, the sooner it's Christmas!

0:11:10 > 0:11:13You say that every year, Mum. So not this time!

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Sweet dreams.

0:11:16 > 0:11:19Let's just hope they don't feature a zombie couple laughing

0:11:19 > 0:11:21and eating bugs.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24Night, Happy Christmas, almost.

0:11:24 > 0:11:28Remember - you can fake a tree, but you can't fake Christmas.

0:11:28 > 0:11:29Night.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32- Night.- See you in the morning.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35It's not the same without the angel on the tree.

0:11:49 > 0:11:52She's way too quiet, right?

0:11:52 > 0:11:53What's up?

0:11:53 > 0:11:54Nothing...

0:11:54 > 0:11:56It was just a really icky film, you know?

0:12:03 > 0:12:05Go on, tell me.

0:12:11 > 0:12:14I can't help it. I'm trying, but...

0:12:16 > 0:12:19I just want everything to be how it was

0:12:19 > 0:12:22and I just really, really miss Dad.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28I miss Dad, too.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31Really?

0:12:31 > 0:12:33Yeah, of course.

0:12:33 > 0:12:35We didn't ask for everything to be different.

0:12:35 > 0:12:40Things just are. So I'm trying to go with it.

0:12:40 > 0:12:44You've always been really, really good at that.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47You're as annoying as anything, but you're good at that.

0:12:47 > 0:12:48Thanks.

0:12:50 > 0:12:53Do you think we'll still get stockings?

0:12:53 > 0:12:55The world's hasn't ended, has it?

0:12:55 > 0:12:58I want a huge one overflowing with sweets.

0:12:58 > 0:13:00Me too. You want to get up at 5:00 to check?

0:13:00 > 0:13:035:00? That's way too early.

0:13:04 > 0:13:055:30.

0:13:09 > 0:13:10Night, Mills.

0:13:10 > 0:13:11Night, Lauren.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25Millie, Millie, wake up.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27It's Christmas and there's stockings!

0:13:27 > 0:13:29Are they overflowing with sweets?

0:13:29 > 0:13:31Yeah, and almost no fruit. Result!

0:13:34 > 0:13:39- Merry Christmas!- Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas, girls.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41Well, I don't know what they're doing,

0:13:41 > 0:13:44but it involves every pan and most all of the kitchen utensils.

0:13:44 > 0:13:48Well, this is one of our traditions. It's our Classic Crimble Fry Up,

0:13:48 > 0:13:49so I thought I would save it.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52You? I thought your body was your temple!

0:13:52 > 0:13:55Yeah, well, it usually is, but today it's my dustbin.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58I've got bacon, I've got sausages, I've got black and white pudding.

0:13:58 > 0:14:01Wow, that's pretty much a whole pig!

0:14:01 > 0:14:05- Back off.- All right. - I'll make the toast.

0:14:05 > 0:14:07Craig is a toast-making legend.

0:14:07 > 0:14:11Always has been, ever since he was this high. Complete natural.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13Congrats(!)

0:14:13 > 0:14:15My pleasure.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17What a gift.

0:14:17 > 0:14:18Thank you.

0:14:18 > 0:14:22It all smells so good. Ooh, this is going great.

0:14:22 > 0:14:25But it doesn't smell like cinnamon and if it doesn't smell

0:14:25 > 0:14:27like cinnamon, then it doesn't feel like Christmas,

0:14:27 > 0:14:30and if it doesn't feel like Christmas then it isn't Christmas.

0:14:30 > 0:14:32And I really want Christmas.

0:14:32 > 0:14:37Lauren, you know how you said I was really good at embracing the new?

0:14:37 > 0:14:39Yeah, well, you can be good at it over there

0:14:39 > 0:14:41and I'll be really bad at it over here.

0:14:42 > 0:14:46Mum, can you please make Christmas morning cinnamon muffins?

0:14:46 > 0:14:48You want to save muffins?

0:14:48 > 0:14:50When there's bacon?

0:14:50 > 0:14:52And Craig's awesome toast?

0:14:54 > 0:14:55Save the muffins.

0:14:59 > 0:15:02The turducken looks exactly the same as it did an hour ago.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05Maybe I should turn it up?

0:15:05 > 0:15:07That's exactly what you shouldn't do.

0:15:07 > 0:15:11You're right. I'll walk away, let it do its thing.

0:15:11 > 0:15:12Great idea.

0:15:14 > 0:15:17It'll probably cook quicker if I'm not looking.

0:15:17 > 0:15:20So stop looking at it. And stop going on about it!

0:15:20 > 0:15:21OK.

0:15:21 > 0:15:24It's time for a Christmas tradition that we've decided to save.

0:15:24 > 0:15:26Can I get them, can I get them?

0:15:26 > 0:15:28Yes, you can, Jake. Come on.

0:15:30 > 0:15:33- When I was travelling in Venezuela...- Ah!

0:15:33 > 0:15:36It's a spider pinata.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39Mum met a tribe in South America who believed in a giant spider

0:15:39 > 0:15:43who came out of the jungle once a year and gave sweets to everyone.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45- I might of made that bit up. - BOTH:- Mum!

0:15:45 > 0:15:47Close your eyes and whack the spider.

0:15:48 > 0:15:54- BOTH:- Whack the spider, whack the spider. Whack the spider!

0:15:54 > 0:15:57It's big and hairy. Whack it!

0:15:57 > 0:15:59THEY CHEER

0:16:01 > 0:16:03HE PANTS

0:16:03 > 0:16:06Everything is cool, everything is cool.

0:16:07 > 0:16:09Present time!

0:16:12 > 0:16:15OK, I know I said I was cool with this, but...

0:16:15 > 0:16:17I really want to hand out the presents.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20Things are supposed to be different. You've already kept the muffins.

0:16:20 > 0:16:22Yeah, well, you made me watch a zombie love story

0:16:22 > 0:16:25and I'm already having flashbacks.

0:16:25 > 0:16:29I've got an idea. I usually give out the presents.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32So if Lauren did it, then that would be different for us.

0:16:32 > 0:16:34That's kind of a loophole but... OK.

0:16:34 > 0:16:35Yay, yay, yay. OK...

0:16:37 > 0:16:39This one is to Mike from Craig.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41Watch out, it's a bit heavy.

0:16:41 > 0:16:42I wonder what that could be?

0:16:45 > 0:16:48Ah, mate, that is awesome. Just what I wanted! Thanks.

0:16:48 > 0:16:51Haven't you already got, like, ten of them?

0:16:51 > 0:16:5516. But this is a brand-new one. Completely updated.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59OK, And this one is to Craig from Mike.

0:16:59 > 0:17:00Cheers.

0:17:04 > 0:17:06Ah, cool, a gift voucher. Thanks, Dad.

0:17:06 > 0:17:10Cheers. Awesome. Amazing. Just what I wanted, honestly.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12So you only get each other one present?

0:17:12 > 0:17:14Yeah, we don't make a big thing about presents.

0:17:14 > 0:17:17- To us Christmas is more about... - Love.

0:17:17 > 0:17:18Telly.

0:17:18 > 0:17:21Well, luckily, we go bonkers.

0:17:21 > 0:17:25- Right, these are all from Millie. This one is for Mike.- Thanks, Mills.

0:17:27 > 0:17:31Christmas jumper, awesome.

0:17:31 > 0:17:34You decided to save naff Christmas jumpers!

0:17:34 > 0:17:35It's not Christmas

0:17:35 > 0:17:39if we're not all dressed in reindeer-themed polyester!

0:17:39 > 0:17:41No way. I ain't wearing this.

0:17:42 > 0:17:47You have to, Millie saved it. Obey the Christmas rules, minion.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49Like you have!

0:17:49 > 0:17:52I sort of did. Oh, look at the tree.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54The angel's not up there.

0:17:59 > 0:18:04Wow, I've done pretty well. Amber, thanks for the vinyl.

0:18:04 > 0:18:08Jake, the large toy spider is hilarious.

0:18:08 > 0:18:12And Fran, thanks for...Jane Eyre.

0:18:12 > 0:18:14I thought it might help you get into the classics.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18Who knew they'd made it into a video game?

0:18:19 > 0:18:24- So this is for you, Fran.- Thank you.

0:18:24 > 0:18:26- Jake, this is yours.- Thanks.

0:18:33 > 0:18:3725 quid!

0:18:37 > 0:18:38Yeah!

0:18:38 > 0:18:41Fran, what do you think, is cash OK?

0:18:41 > 0:18:44I don't mind that it isn't a very personal or thoughtful present...

0:18:44 > 0:18:46cos you haven't known me long.

0:18:47 > 0:18:50He did buy thoughtful presents, it's just that...

0:18:50 > 0:18:52I'm just going to check on the turducken.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01Ow, ow!

0:19:01 > 0:19:02Are you all right?

0:19:02 > 0:19:05You OK? I heard a...

0:19:05 > 0:19:06crash.

0:19:06 > 0:19:08It's fine.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11Everything's cool, everything is cool.

0:19:12 > 0:19:13Oh, no, it's not.

0:19:14 > 0:19:18My pulse is racing, and I've got tingling in my right arm.

0:19:18 > 0:19:19Oh, I'm having a heart attack.

0:19:19 > 0:19:20You're not, that's the left arm.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23Good. It's good to have someone medical around.

0:19:23 > 0:19:24I might need you later!

0:19:24 > 0:19:26You're definitely not having a baby.

0:19:26 > 0:19:29But I've ruined Christmas dinner and Millie and Lauren will be

0:19:29 > 0:19:32here soon and I haven't got presents for anyone.

0:19:32 > 0:19:36I'm Scrooge and the Grinch rolled into one! I'm the Scrinch!

0:19:36 > 0:19:40Is this what stress is like? I don't like it...

0:19:40 > 0:19:43SCREAMS: Everything is not cool. Everything is not cool!

0:19:45 > 0:19:47DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

0:19:47 > 0:19:48What's he doing?

0:19:48 > 0:19:51I think he's hiding in the cupboard.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53Interesting Christmas tradition...

0:19:55 > 0:19:59And so Dad's unravelling like a cheap reindeer jumper.

0:19:59 > 0:20:00Luckily, we're all good at Mum's.

0:20:00 > 0:20:03And everything's all over bar the shouting.

0:20:05 > 0:20:08Wow, Craig, four helpings?

0:20:08 > 0:20:10Yep, it was good.

0:20:10 > 0:20:13So you admit it? Christmas dinner is way better than pizza?

0:20:13 > 0:20:14I admit nothing.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17I mean, Christmas dinner is good,

0:20:17 > 0:20:21but pizza is...whatever, so yeah.

0:20:21 > 0:20:23Well, there's no arguing with that.

0:20:23 > 0:20:24I thought it was lush.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27Me too, best Christmas dinner ever.

0:20:27 > 0:20:30You know what would make it the best Christmas dinner ever?

0:20:30 > 0:20:33If we put the Christmas angel on the top of the tree.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Well, I'm liking the Christmas small teddy.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37But we have had the Christmas angel every single year.

0:20:37 > 0:20:39This different Christmas thing is stupid!

0:20:39 > 0:20:42It's not stupid if it's important to Millie.

0:20:42 > 0:20:44You can't come here with your non-traditional fry-ups

0:20:44 > 0:20:46and try and change up everything.

0:20:46 > 0:20:47It was my idea.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51And I just wanted no fights for a change.

0:20:51 > 0:20:54Has Christmas really always been so awful?

0:20:54 > 0:20:56Why are you giving me serious face?

0:20:56 > 0:20:59Why aren't you giving her serious face? Cos she started it.

0:20:59 > 0:21:01Because I want to know, has Christmas always been

0:21:01 > 0:21:03so awful that you've got to change everything?

0:21:03 > 0:21:05When I've always tried to make it nice.

0:21:05 > 0:21:08It wasn't me that changed everything. That was you and Dad!

0:21:09 > 0:21:10Ouch...

0:21:12 > 0:21:15Come on, we're going to be late.

0:21:15 > 0:21:16Wait for me.

0:21:21 > 0:21:25I know I've upset my mum. I'm a horrible person.

0:21:25 > 0:21:29And she's right, Christmas wasn't all that bad.

0:21:29 > 0:21:32The good bits just got a bit lost in the shouting...

0:21:37 > 0:21:39Wow, I love it.

0:21:39 > 0:21:43In fact, I think it might be the best Christmas jumper ever.

0:21:43 > 0:21:47You know what, I think this might be the best Christmas ever.

0:21:47 > 0:21:48I agree with your dad.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50Me too, best Christmas ever.

0:21:50 > 0:21:52- ALL:- Yay!

0:21:55 > 0:21:56See what I mean?

0:22:02 > 0:22:03Wow, there's a lot of stuff.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05Sure you don't want the boys to help out?

0:22:05 > 0:22:07No, let them have their boy time.

0:22:07 > 0:22:10I'm not really interested in watching Bruce Willis

0:22:10 > 0:22:11blow things up anyway.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14What about Millie blowing stuff up?

0:22:14 > 0:22:17I shouldn't have had a go. I feel bad now.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22OK, well, see you in a couple of hours.

0:22:23 > 0:22:24Actually, wait.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29This is for your dad. It's not much.

0:22:29 > 0:22:33Just tell him it's... Well, it's the tradition I wanted to save.

0:22:34 > 0:22:36See you later.

0:22:48 > 0:22:49I'm not hiding.

0:22:51 > 0:22:53OK, I am hiding.

0:22:53 > 0:22:56I seemed to have created a kind of anti-Christmas.

0:22:56 > 0:22:59If it helps, the kids are eating your roast potatoes right now.

0:22:59 > 0:23:01They turned out pretty great.

0:23:02 > 0:23:05Yeah, that does help a bit actually. Thanks.

0:23:05 > 0:23:07I can't come out, though.

0:23:07 > 0:23:11I'm going to have to live here. Be a cupboard dweller.

0:23:11 > 0:23:12I will have to eat dust balls.

0:23:14 > 0:23:16Because you're worried about your kids?

0:23:16 > 0:23:18Yeah.

0:23:18 > 0:23:20Fran was right, I can't just give them money.

0:23:20 > 0:23:22I don't have anything else.

0:23:22 > 0:23:23Look at all this junk.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25It's not junk!

0:23:25 > 0:23:26Here you go.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28HE STRUMS GUITAR

0:23:28 > 0:23:30My dad gave me that years ago for Christmas.

0:23:33 > 0:23:35DOOR CLOSES

0:23:35 > 0:23:37Hey, Merry Christmas!

0:23:37 > 0:23:39Merry Christmas!

0:23:39 > 0:23:42Merry Christmas! Look what I got.

0:23:42 > 0:23:44- Where's Dad?- Well...

0:23:44 > 0:23:46Oh, you missed it - the turducken exploded!

0:23:46 > 0:23:47Is that a present for me?

0:23:47 > 0:23:50No, not really. It's for Dad, but I guess he won't mind.

0:23:55 > 0:23:57I don't get it.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59- BOTH:- Turkey sandwiches.

0:23:59 > 0:24:00I thought it was weird

0:24:00 > 0:24:03when Mum said this was a tradition she wanted to save.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07Turkey sandwiches!

0:24:07 > 0:24:09- From Mum.- Wow, wicked!

0:24:09 > 0:24:12I don't know what it is about turkey that tastes better in sandwich form,

0:24:12 > 0:24:13but it does.

0:24:13 > 0:24:16- But, Dad, are we heading towards... - Present time? Yes, we are.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30You got me a guitar!

0:24:30 > 0:24:31Not just any guitar.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34My dad gave me that, many, many years ago.

0:24:34 > 0:24:36SHE STRUMS GUITAR

0:24:36 > 0:24:38I love it. I really love it.

0:24:39 > 0:24:41I really love it.

0:24:41 > 0:24:42Is it my turn now?

0:24:42 > 0:24:44Yeah, open away.

0:24:51 > 0:24:56Your mum and I started this album the day after you were born.

0:24:56 > 0:24:58Oh, there's our Christmas breakfast with pancakes.

0:24:58 > 0:25:00There's Mum handing out the presents.

0:25:00 > 0:25:01Not you?

0:25:01 > 0:25:04Maybe my traditions aren't as old as I remember them...

0:25:07 > 0:25:09Aw!

0:25:15 > 0:25:18I am going to find a Christmas film to watch with Fran and Jake.

0:25:18 > 0:25:19Good night, girls.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21- Merry Christmas. - Bye, Amber, Merry Christmas.

0:25:23 > 0:25:25Oh, it was going to be the thing I was going to save...

0:25:25 > 0:25:27the turkey sandwiches.

0:25:27 > 0:25:30They're even better when you're actually hungry!

0:25:30 > 0:25:31Thank your mum for me.

0:25:31 > 0:25:32Tell her...

0:25:35 > 0:25:37Tell her she's really good at Christmas, Christmas is tricky.

0:25:37 > 0:25:40Just found that out.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42We'd better go.

0:25:42 > 0:25:44Hey, do you remember the Christmas when you both fell asleep

0:25:44 > 0:25:46on the sofa and I had to carry you both to bed?

0:25:46 > 0:25:48- No.- We were asleep.

0:25:48 > 0:25:49Oh, right, of course.

0:25:50 > 0:25:54It was good though, carrying you both to bed and tucking you in.

0:25:54 > 0:25:57Totally did my back in, but, you know, it was good.

0:26:00 > 0:26:01Bye, Dad.

0:26:02 > 0:26:05- Bye, Dad.- Merry Christmas. Really, thank your mum for me.

0:26:05 > 0:26:08Merry Christmas. Love you.

0:26:18 > 0:26:19Hi.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21Hey, did you have fun?

0:26:21 > 0:26:23Yeah, Dad got us wicked presents.

0:26:23 > 0:26:28He did, and then Jake ate a pen and now the inside of his mouth is blue.

0:26:28 > 0:26:30How were the turkey sandwiches?

0:26:30 > 0:26:34They were amazing. Mum, your turkey sandwiches were amazing.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36Thank you, angel.

0:26:36 > 0:26:39Mum, when I say "amazing", you know I'm talking about you

0:26:39 > 0:26:41and not just the sandwiches, right?

0:26:41 > 0:26:43I know.

0:26:46 > 0:26:47Oh, nice.

0:26:47 > 0:26:48Hot chocolate, sweet.

0:26:50 > 0:26:54What happened to "Christmas is stupid and this jumper is stupid?"

0:26:54 > 0:26:55It was cold.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57It's boiling in here.

0:26:57 > 0:27:02I saved a tradition too. Every year I try something new.

0:27:02 > 0:27:04And I didn't know what it was going to be this year,

0:27:04 > 0:27:06but...whatevs.

0:27:06 > 0:27:08So yeah...

0:27:08 > 0:27:09Thanks, Millie.

0:27:09 > 0:27:10Happy to help.

0:27:13 > 0:27:15- Thank you, Mum.- Thanks, Sharon.

0:27:21 > 0:27:23It's actually not that creepy.

0:27:23 > 0:27:24Are you sure?

0:27:24 > 0:27:26Yeah, I am.

0:27:33 > 0:27:37Let's face it, that was never going to be the smoothest Christmas ever.

0:27:37 > 0:27:40But we got through it, give or take the odd zombie wedding...

0:27:42 > 0:27:44There! Perfect!

0:27:44 > 0:27:46The tree, the tree!

0:27:46 > 0:27:48No! Nooo!

0:27:48 > 0:27:51It's not just me - that angel has got to go.

0:27:52 > 0:27:54See you next year.