0:00:02 > 0:00:05SHE SNORES
0:00:06 > 0:00:09Now I have to share my sister's room,
0:00:09 > 0:00:12it's like sleeping next to a piglet with a bunged-up snout.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Lauren? You awake?
0:00:14 > 0:00:17No...
0:00:17 > 0:00:18No, don't want to go school.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20It's half term, remember?
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Why didn't you say so?
0:00:22 > 0:00:25Because we're spending it in hell and you told me not to remind you.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Oh, no! I forgot.
0:00:27 > 0:00:28Actually, it's all a joke.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Really?
0:00:30 > 0:00:31- No. - KNOCK AT DOOR
0:00:31 > 0:00:34CRAIG: Open up! I want a word with you!
0:00:34 > 0:00:35KNOCKING AT DOOR
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Let me in. I want a word with you.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40She's in the wardrobe.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43What are you...
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Let me out! Seriously, I'm really claustrophobic
0:00:46 > 0:00:47and slightly scared of the dark.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Don't worry. I know I look like a boil-in the-bag kipper.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28I guess I deserve it. Things did get a bit out of hand last week.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30I may have gone a little too far.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37If you were Lauren's tutti-frutti lip balm, where would you be?
0:01:40 > 0:01:42If I can't find it, I'll just make up a story.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Lauren will believe anything.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Aliens took my Pixie Lott top?
0:01:48 > 0:01:52I know. Incredible! But it's the only explanation.
0:01:55 > 0:01:56See what I mean?
0:01:56 > 0:01:58- MIKE:- Sharon, I'm home!
0:01:59 > 0:02:01HE HUMS MERRILY
0:02:04 > 0:02:06- SHE SQUEALS - Arriba!
0:02:06 > 0:02:10Oh, no! Have you been doing Zumba classes in your lunch break again?
0:02:10 > 0:02:12No, but I've been working very hard,
0:02:12 > 0:02:16which is why you are looking at "Employee of the Month"! Ahhh!
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Wow! Congratulations.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21- Yeah. I got a certificate. - And?
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- And a cupcake!- Is that it?
0:02:24 > 0:02:26There was one tiny little other thing -
0:02:26 > 0:02:28they are going to send me away on a fantastic holiday!
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Look, check out the dets!
0:02:30 > 0:02:34All expenses paid - flights to Paris, somewhere to stay,
0:02:34 > 0:02:37and...I get to take a guest!
0:02:38 > 0:02:40(Paris...)
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Wow! This is fab!
0:02:42 > 0:02:45And who were you thinking of taking?
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Well, I was thinking of asking the pool guy.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50No, jokes. Craig, of course.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Oh...well, that's nice.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55No, you, Shaz. Think about it. A week away,
0:02:55 > 0:02:58just the two of us. It's just what we need!
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Well, I've never been away without the kids before.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03I mean, I have... but they weren't born.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Think about it. How many displays did you do last week at work?
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Er... Two marshmallow Taj Mahals
0:03:09 > 0:03:12and an Eiffel Tower made out of breadsticks.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14You are right. We deserve this!
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Come on, let's go check it out on the internet.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18HE HUMS
0:03:20 > 0:03:25OK, what things do I miss when I'm NOT under the table?
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Mum and Mike are off to Paris!
0:03:30 > 0:03:31What?!
0:03:31 > 0:03:32Alone! Together!
0:03:32 > 0:03:35- How do you know?- I heard them.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38I was underneath the kitchen table looking for...
0:03:38 > 0:03:40hiding. Don't ask, OK?
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Millie, they can't go to Paris without me.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47Us. Oh, I love Paris!
0:03:47 > 0:03:49- You've never been. - I love it on TV.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Paris is like... like my mothership.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Millie, Paris, the capital city of...
0:03:54 > 0:03:56France? Romance?
0:03:56 > 0:03:58No, shopping! Be serious.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02Millie, they have got to take us with them or I'm going to die.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04A bit overdramatic, but I'm with you.
0:04:04 > 0:04:09Right, I'm going to get Mum to take us with her or else...
0:04:09 > 0:04:11or else...
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Wow, good threat(!) But I have a better idea.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16I was going to go old school - beg, plead, whine.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19If we start moaning, she'll never take us.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22She has to think it's her idea. Now, what's Mum's one weak spot?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Fig rolls.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25Her other weak spot.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28BOTH: Guilt trips!
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Mum's guilt button is easy to press.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37All my friends go out with their mates.
0:04:37 > 0:04:42But you're right, I'm probably not responsible enough.
0:04:42 > 0:04:43LAUREN SOBS
0:04:43 > 0:04:47And it doesn't matter that they call me "Little Lauren".
0:04:48 > 0:04:51OK!
0:04:51 > 0:04:52But I'm following you.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56- Mum! - Relax. I'll be in disguise.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Argh!
0:05:02 > 0:05:04You'd think she'd catch on after a while.
0:05:07 > 0:05:08VIDEO GAME BEEPS
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Got you this time!
0:05:11 > 0:05:14That's what you get for not paying attention! Na na na-na na!
0:05:14 > 0:05:15What?!
0:05:15 > 0:05:17No! Oh!
0:05:17 > 0:05:19ELECTRONIC APPLAUSE
0:05:19 > 0:05:21How'd I lose THAT one?
0:05:21 > 0:05:22ELECTRONIC CARTOON LAUGHTER
0:05:22 > 0:05:24What is that thing?
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Jake's doing a sponsored 24-hour silence for a fiver.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29And then he found that stupid sound-effects box!
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Jake, do you fancy a chocolate doughnut?
0:05:32 > 0:05:34ELECTRONIC RASPBERRY
0:05:34 > 0:05:36You might as well quit. You're never going to make it.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39ELECTRONIC CASH REGISTER DINGS In your dreams!
0:05:39 > 0:05:41That's some serious hardware.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45All that stuff to deliver a baby. Who knew!
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Precision-made high-grade stainless steel.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51German. Makes sense.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Thank you.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55And what's this?
0:05:55 > 0:05:58"Birthing pool in a box."
0:05:58 > 0:06:02Yeah, It's like a big paddling pool you can use for home births
0:06:02 > 0:06:03DING!
0:06:03 > 0:06:05No! Absolutely not.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- So, what did they say?- Who?
0:06:10 > 0:06:13- The girls, when you told them? - Oh, well, I haven't yet.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16It's not until next week, so there's plenty of time.
0:06:16 > 0:06:17Going somewhere?
0:06:17 > 0:06:20What? No.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Us? No.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Where would we go?
0:06:27 > 0:06:28THEY MOUTH
0:06:31 > 0:06:35Mike's just showing me how to samba.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Every time I think I couldn't be more embarrassed by you,
0:06:37 > 0:06:39you somehow find a way!
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Why didn't you just tell her?
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Because I feel bad about not taking them with us.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48It's not that I don't want to go, I really want to go.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51I really need this holiday. I just...
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Well, I don't want to hurt their feelings.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55I think you're underestimating them.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58I mean, Mills and Lauren, they are generous, mature young ladies.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00They're bound to understand.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03How can she even think about going off without us?!
0:07:03 > 0:07:05And then she looked me in the eye and she lied about it.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07And the worst crime of all is,
0:07:07 > 0:07:10she's going to Paris without a new bag to put all my shopping in!
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Forget about it.
0:07:12 > 0:07:16She's coming, so let's just stick with Plan Guilt Trip, OK?
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Places, everyone!
0:07:18 > 0:07:19Dude, it's just me.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21And try and be extra-cute.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Please! I know what I'm doing.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28They'll be angry... they'll be shouty.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Stay strong. Just stand up to them.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Do we have enough?
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Not if we want to take everyone out to dinner.
0:07:39 > 0:07:44Here. I was saving it to buy myself some new watercolour brushes.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Millie...are you sure?
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Yeah, we have to take everyone!
0:07:50 > 0:07:54I couldn't leave anyone behind. I'd feel terrible.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57And Mum and Mike, they've been working so hard lately,
0:07:57 > 0:08:00a nice dinner out is what they really deserve.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Oh...
0:08:09 > 0:08:11MUM: Oh, I just can't do it.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Paris, here we come!
0:08:18 > 0:08:20I can't do it. I can't!
0:08:20 > 0:08:22What? Why?!
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Because if I leave the kids behind, I'll feel so guilty
0:08:24 > 0:08:26I won't enjoy a minute of it!
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Unless... Well, we could bring them too.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33Yeah, what with? Our invisible cash or our invisible credit card?
0:08:33 > 0:08:36I just feel so bad going without them.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39I could sell Gam-Gam's engagement ring!
0:08:39 > 0:08:41That's ridiculous!
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Why? It's gold.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47Not that, but the fact you call your granny Gam-Gam.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Do you think the girls would really be into this?
0:08:51 > 0:08:53I dunno. But I just can't do it.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56I can't look up into those big sad eyes.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59They are so good at making me feel guilty!
0:08:59 > 0:09:01But...
0:09:01 > 0:09:04I was really looking forward to us getting some quality time together.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07It could be like the honeymoon we never had.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Yeah, well, you'll get over it.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15BLENDER WHIRS
0:09:18 > 0:09:21AMBER: This is going to be so fun!
0:09:21 > 0:09:23POP MUSIC PLAYS
0:09:26 > 0:09:28This is going to be wicked.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Ahem... Mum.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Honestly, how old are you?
0:09:33 > 0:09:34ELECTRONIC APPLAUSE
0:09:34 > 0:09:37You said it.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40- We're not just going to stay at home for half term, are we?- Yes!
0:09:40 > 0:09:43We can't go away every school holiday - we're not made of cash.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Sorry, what was that? I didn't quite hear you.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47ELECTRONIC HOOTER
0:09:49 > 0:09:52"Warning. Test floor strength before setting up birthing pool."
0:09:54 > 0:09:56HE SIGHS
0:09:56 > 0:09:59Sorry, mate. We're on the third floor.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03We don't want to end up on top of Mrs McInnery's Scottie.
0:10:03 > 0:10:04ELECTRONIC HOOTER
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Right, you lot! House meeting, five minutes.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Last one down has to do ten press-ups!
0:10:10 > 0:10:13FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Loser...
0:10:18 > 0:10:19Argh!
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Eight, nine, ten!
0:10:25 > 0:10:27So what is this meeting about?
0:10:27 > 0:10:29- ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYS FRENCH ACCENT:- Le petit dejeuner.
0:10:29 > 0:10:33A slice of French toast for my pretty little lady
0:10:33 > 0:10:36with a side helping of guilt-free family holiday!
0:10:36 > 0:10:38I sold my guitar.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41I got a really good price online, so the kids can come as well!
0:10:41 > 0:10:42No, I know what you're going to say -
0:10:42 > 0:10:45I was a rock star on that guitar but that rock star must go
0:10:45 > 0:10:49because...family fun time is far more important.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52- Hey! What's going on? - Croissants! I love French food.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Great, you're in luck because that's where we are going
0:10:55 > 0:10:57next week on half term!
0:10:57 > 0:10:59THEY SQUEAL
0:10:59 > 0:11:01No, Dad, not next week!
0:11:01 > 0:11:03What about Matthew's party? I told you about it.
0:11:03 > 0:11:04You promised I could go.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Oh, I know, but I forgot.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Can't you just miss this one party?
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Just miss this one party?
0:11:10 > 0:11:11Yep, no, that's cool.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Just change my status now actually.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15"Craig is a massive loser."
0:11:15 > 0:11:17I bet that would get some likes.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Dad, you promised I could go.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23I could always get Tony and Amber to look in on him.
0:11:23 > 0:11:24I'm sure they wouldn't mind.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26What do you think?
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Would you mind, girls, if Craig didn't come on holiday?
0:11:30 > 0:11:31I'd be devastated(!)
0:11:32 > 0:11:36Yeah, who'll ruin it for us?
0:11:36 > 0:11:39All right, you can stay if you promise to be responsible.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40Yeah!
0:11:40 > 0:11:43I take it you two are still ready and willing?
0:11:43 > 0:11:45For Paris? I was born ready.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Paris?
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Yeah. Big French city known for shops?
0:11:49 > 0:11:53Yeah, I know, love, but we're not going to Paris.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55What?!
0:11:55 > 0:11:59No. I won an adventure holiday. We fly into Paris but then...
0:11:59 > 0:12:01we drive for 200 miles to the middle of nowhere,
0:12:01 > 0:12:04to a farmer's hut surrounded by nothing,
0:12:04 > 0:12:08no shops for miles, and, apparently, it's haunted! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
0:12:08 > 0:12:10There's no TV, no electricity at all.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14Just open fires and loads and loads of countryside.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18Why did you think we were going to Paris?
0:12:18 > 0:12:20I've got no idea.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Oh-la-la!
0:12:26 > 0:12:30What happened?? One minute we were off to gay Paree,
0:12:30 > 0:12:33the next we're off to play the Hunger Games with Mike!
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Lauren!
0:12:38 > 0:12:41All we had to do was keep our mouths shut.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45- Calm down.- Or ask Mum! But no, leave it to Millie.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47It worked, didn't it?
0:12:47 > 0:12:51Yes, and now I'm sentenced to a week sharing a farm hut
0:12:51 > 0:12:53with a French ghost!
0:12:53 > 0:12:57- It could be worse. - How? How could it be worse?
0:12:57 > 0:12:59It's going to be like bad reality TV!
0:12:59 > 0:13:00Oh, no. Wait. I forgot!
0:13:00 > 0:13:02There is no TV.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04So it'll just be bad reality!
0:13:04 > 0:13:07I'm sorry, I made a rookie mistake. I'll fix it, I promise!
0:13:07 > 0:13:08How?
0:13:11 > 0:13:13I can talk! I can say anything!
0:13:13 > 0:13:15I hate bedtime!
0:13:15 > 0:13:16I like doughnuts!
0:13:16 > 0:13:19I can't believe you managed to be silent for a whole day.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22- I know. What were the chances? - Hey, where's my sound box?
0:13:22 > 0:13:23BOING!
0:13:23 > 0:13:25That's mine!
0:13:25 > 0:13:27ELECTRONIC BURP
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Mum, please, let's go on holiday.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33We can't afford it right now, love. I'm sorry.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36I guess we'll just have to go to the International Fixings Fair.
0:13:36 > 0:13:3830 aisles of springs, bolts, nuts and hinges!
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Surely we can do better than that.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Look what I found.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47I found this at a car-boot sale.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Who needs to go on holiday? We'll make our own fun!
0:13:49 > 0:13:52We can have the board game Olympics for half term. What do you say?
0:13:52 > 0:13:53Yay!
0:13:53 > 0:13:55ELECTRONIC SCREECH
0:13:58 > 0:14:01- There must be some other way. - CRAIG: You may enter!
0:14:01 > 0:14:03Do you want to go on holiday in a haunted farmhouse?
0:14:03 > 0:14:06Leave this to me. We can't afford any more rookie mistakes.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15Come in. I've been expecting you.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Aww. Is that a cuddly toy?
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Let me guess,
0:14:19 > 0:14:23you want my expert skills to get you out of the holiday from hell.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26- How do you know? - Cos I'm a psychic genius.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28A psychic genius who still plays with teddies?
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Little less sneering, little more begging.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36Tell Mike and Mum that we can stay with you.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Say you don't mind looking after us.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40What's it worth?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42OK. Name your price.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45Hmm... Well, I do need my toenails clipped.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47I haven't done them in months.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Urgh! I'd rather do a bushtucker trial.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Or you can do my laundry. By hand.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56It's been in a ball under my bed for a good few weeks now.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58If I were you, I'd wear some goggles.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00The stench might make your mascara run.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- On second thoughts....no deal. - What?!
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Enjoy the great outdoors!
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Mwah-hahahahahaha!
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- Argh! He just...- I heard.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16That's it. We're doomed.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18And it's all your fault!
0:15:18 > 0:15:20There might be a way.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23But...it's kind of going over the dark side?
0:15:23 > 0:15:24Do it.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32Oh, I get it. They're just like little laptops.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35No. There's no electricity. This is called Battleships.
0:15:35 > 0:15:40That game's on computer. I'll show you. It's much faster.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42No. We're going to play this old-school stylee.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Right. D-8.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Miss.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52- OK. - PHONE CHIMES
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Oh, hi, Millie!
0:15:57 > 0:15:59E-2.
0:15:59 > 0:16:00Hit.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Yes.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Need my help for what? OK, how long will you be?
0:16:08 > 0:16:09G-5.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12"Name of event."
0:16:12 > 0:16:16Craig's Crackin' Crib Party.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19"When." Half term, Friday.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Half term, Friday.
0:16:22 > 0:16:23"Invite friends."
0:16:24 > 0:16:25Everyone!
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Obviously.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30"Create event."
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Boom!
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Now I sit back and become a party-throwing legend!
0:16:37 > 0:16:39I should probably add a photo.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Got ya! A dog in shades riding a skateboard!
0:16:44 > 0:16:46That is wicked, that is.
0:16:46 > 0:16:47Well...
0:16:47 > 0:16:48DOOR BANGS
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Busted.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54Craig's Crackin' Crib Party?
0:16:54 > 0:16:55How did you see that?
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Seriously, a dog in sunglasses?
0:16:58 > 0:17:01That's right up there with cuddling cuddly toys.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03But I'm not friends with you!
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Friends have friends have friends.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Social media's like a really big web.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11And in the middle there's a very attractive spider - that's me.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14In my world, you're just a fly.
0:17:17 > 0:17:18You wouldn't dare tell?
0:17:20 > 0:17:24Depends... What's it worth?
0:17:24 > 0:17:26I'm not cutting your toenails!
0:17:26 > 0:17:27Ew! As if!
0:17:30 > 0:17:31BEEP
0:17:31 > 0:17:35Don't you guys want to go on holiday over half term?
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Mum said we can't afford it.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40That's what parents always say when they have no money.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Yes! I have the spleen!
0:17:42 > 0:17:45It doesn't have to be expensive. We can talk them into it.
0:17:45 > 0:17:46We just need to put our heads together.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49That would be one big head!
0:17:49 > 0:17:51If you had a head that big,
0:17:51 > 0:17:55you'd have to have a super-strong neck or it'd snap off.
0:17:55 > 0:17:56And then you'd need...
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Jake...it's a metaphor.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01YOU'RE a metaphor.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04- Live For The Now? - Oh, that's Mum's.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08The trick is to make them think a holiday's their idea.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Oh, I've played that game on computer!
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Wow. And I thought I was the weird one!
0:18:18 > 0:18:19You want to know a secret?
0:18:19 > 0:18:22This is the game your mum thinks we're playing.
0:18:22 > 0:18:26Really we're playing a game I like to call "What A Great Idea".
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Lauren, when where you thinking
0:18:34 > 0:18:36of getting round to cleaning the bathroom?
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Oh, let me just check for you.
0:18:38 > 0:18:39CRAIG!
0:18:43 > 0:18:46- What?- Any idea when I'll be cleaning the bathroom?
0:18:46 > 0:18:47How should I know?
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Mike, will we have a bathroom on holiday?
0:18:50 > 0:18:53No, we're going to wash in the river and dig a hole for the old...
0:18:53 > 0:18:54HE WHISTLES
0:18:55 > 0:18:56Fine!
0:18:58 > 0:19:00The bathroom should be sparkling within the hour.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Everyone know what they're doing?
0:19:08 > 0:19:09DOOR OPENS
0:19:11 > 0:19:15Oh, cool. I love this. Shout me out one, Jake!
0:19:15 > 0:19:18- Uh, left hand, red. - Left hand, red.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Got to hand it to your dad, Millie.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22We're going to have a fantastic games week!
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Old games are the best!
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Yeah, but all my friends are going away, though.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28Aw, I told you,
0:19:28 > 0:19:30we need to save up a bit before we can go on holiday.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34Fran, right foot, blue.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37My friend's mum thought of a really good cheap idea.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39You should make the most of the holidays
0:19:39 > 0:19:41whilst your kids are young.
0:19:41 > 0:19:42Yeah, live for the now, Mum.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45Feel the fear and do it anyway.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Yeah, and stop worrying and start living!
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- Hey! That's what my book says! - It must be a sign!
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Mum, right hand, red!
0:19:54 > 0:19:58I know! Maybe I could talk to Tony and see what he thinks.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00- What a great idea! - I'm not promising anything,
0:20:00 > 0:20:02but maybe we could think of something fun but cheap.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Yeah, really good idea, Mum!
0:20:07 > 0:20:08Guys! Guys!
0:20:10 > 0:20:12I still won.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15TV ON
0:20:17 > 0:20:19What are you doing?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Oh, sorry, I was going to switch over. The big match is on.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24- But I'm watching Model Catwalk. - All right. Let's put it to the vote.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Who wants to watch the football?
0:20:28 > 0:20:30All those in favour of watching Model Catwalk?
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Looking forward to your party, Craig?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Uh-uh. You mean Matthew's party?
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Do I? I don't know. Do I, Craig?
0:20:40 > 0:20:43So, who wants to watch Model Catwalk
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Son, you want to watch Model Catwalk?
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Yeah. It's my favourite show.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56Come on, Craig, Do the pose with me.
0:20:56 > 0:20:57Attitude!
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Come on, Craig!
0:21:04 > 0:21:07So, Mike, about half term... Basically...
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Attitude!
0:21:12 > 0:21:14CAMERA CLICKS
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Now that's what I call a good photo!
0:21:17 > 0:21:21So, Amber and I were having a chat, and I suddenly had an idea.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23We're all going on holiday!
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Thanks, wee man(!) I was just working my way up to that.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29Oh, wow! I was not expecting that!
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Do you think we can talk Laurs into it?
0:21:31 > 0:21:33I'd say we have a good chance.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Great. So everyone's ON BOARD?
0:21:35 > 0:21:36On a boa...
0:21:38 > 0:21:39We're not ALL AT SEA?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Mmmmpppphfff!
0:21:41 > 0:21:43It's definitely FULL STEAM AHEAD?
0:21:43 > 0:21:44Mmmmmmmmmmppppfffff!
0:21:44 > 0:21:47- Seriously, he needs to breathe. - Sorry.
0:21:49 > 0:21:54- They were all clues! We are... - We're going on holiday for a week...
0:21:54 > 0:21:56JAKE AND DAD: ..on a boat!
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Boat...
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Boats are good. I like boats.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03This boat!
0:22:03 > 0:22:05OK...
0:22:05 > 0:22:07It's the Gurnard. It's my Uncle Jeff's!
0:22:07 > 0:22:10He says we can stay in it as long as we can fix it up.
0:22:10 > 0:22:11There's the odd leak.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Leaky boat? Sinky boat.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16It's OK. We're not going anywhere.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18We'll just be swabbing the bilges,
0:22:18 > 0:22:20sluicing out the scuppers, that kind of thing.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Aye-aye, Captain!
0:22:23 > 0:22:24Ha-har!
0:22:24 > 0:22:27And we're all going to be sleeping in hammocks!
0:22:27 > 0:22:33Ha! And every one of us gets to wear one of these.
0:22:33 > 0:22:34Yay!
0:22:34 > 0:22:36In case of pigeon poo?
0:22:36 > 0:22:37No, silly.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Cos it's going to rain all week.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44A fun, cheap holiday - and all it took was a little imagination!
0:22:44 > 0:22:46AMBER LAUGHS
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Land ahoy!
0:22:51 > 0:22:54You got us out of it?! I could kiss you! But I won't, obvs.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57So, what are we doing?
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Oh, no, wait, don't tell me. It doesn't matter.
0:22:59 > 0:23:03Anything is better than sharing a tent with creepy-crawlies in France.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Anything?
0:23:05 > 0:23:07- What?- You said, "Anything."
0:23:07 > 0:23:08What have you done?
0:23:08 > 0:23:11We are staying on an old canal boat that should have sunk
0:23:11 > 0:23:12with the Titanic.
0:23:14 > 0:23:15A boat? But I get seasick!
0:23:15 > 0:23:20Don't worry. We're not floating. We are cleaning...this!
0:23:21 > 0:23:23That's not a boat, that's a wreck!
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Oh, and you're sharing a hammock with Jake.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Nooooooooo! What is this?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Your poncho.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31Millie!
0:23:31 > 0:23:36A week dressed like a blue nerd, sharing a hammock with Jake
0:23:36 > 0:23:38and his smelly feet in my face!
0:23:38 > 0:23:42And he's going to be talking about how his science teacher is a robot!
0:23:42 > 0:23:44I'm just going to go mad! MAD!
0:23:44 > 0:23:46You could go with Mum and Mike.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48This is you. It's all you.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50I can fix it!
0:23:51 > 0:23:54SHE HUMS ALONG TO POP MUSIC
0:23:54 > 0:23:56PHONE RINGS
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Hello.
0:24:00 > 0:24:01Oh, hi, Tony.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05Just about to phone you to sort out half-term break.
0:24:05 > 0:24:06Oh.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10No, Millie didn't mention that.
0:24:15 > 0:24:19I can't believe you sold your beloved Gam-Gam's engagement ring.
0:24:19 > 0:24:20I know. But if I hadn't,
0:24:20 > 0:24:24we'd never have been able to take the kids away with us.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27And I could never leave them behind.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30I'd feel terrible.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33I know. Family time is much more important.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37I'm sorry! It's all my fault!
0:24:40 > 0:24:43Wait a second, did I just get...guilt-tripped?
0:24:43 > 0:24:47Just a little something I learned from Lauren and you.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Then I asked Amber to ask Dad to take us on holiday
0:24:53 > 0:24:56so we wouldn't have to go on the activity holiday.
0:24:57 > 0:25:01Well, I, for one, am shocked. Shocked!
0:25:01 > 0:25:04I mean, what are you going to do to her? You can't just let that slide.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07I've got a feeling you both had a hand in this.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Fine. All I wanted to do was go to Paris
0:25:09 > 0:25:13and shop like I was Taylor Swift on a European mini-break,
0:25:13 > 0:25:15I mean, is that too much to ask?
0:25:17 > 0:25:19I guess it is.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21But now I've found out about your dad's plans,
0:25:21 > 0:25:23I think justice will be done.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Yeah, we're going to go on our own.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Your mum and I's first holiday together.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29I can't wait.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Go. Get it out of your system.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34And I'll definitely be talking to your dad more often from now on.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Don't worry, guys! I can hold down the fort.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45Guess what Craig has got planned for when you guys go away?
0:25:47 > 0:25:49He's going to clean the house from top to bottom.
0:25:49 > 0:25:54What? Oh... Clean the house? Yeah, can do!
0:25:54 > 0:25:58- It's going to be sparkling and spotless. Right, Craig?- Yep.
0:25:58 > 0:26:02- Ah, you're a diamond, son! - Get off...
0:26:02 > 0:26:04- Except you're going to be at your nan's.- What?!
0:26:04 > 0:26:05With Tony and Amber away,
0:26:05 > 0:26:08- we thought it was only fair not to leave you on your own.- Dad...
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Don't you worry. Your gran said that you can tag along with
0:26:11 > 0:26:12her rambling holiday,
0:26:12 > 0:26:15and she's got all the DVDs of Model Catwalk,
0:26:15 > 0:26:17- so you can watch it with her! - Brilliant(!)
0:26:18 > 0:26:20BOTH: Attitude!
0:26:24 > 0:26:28So now you're up to speed why we both look like Smurfs' hats.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Are you ready, shipmate?
0:26:30 > 0:26:31Don't. Just...don't.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32BANGING Let me out, girls.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35Oh, yeah...Craig.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Come on, girls, are you serious?
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Bon voyage.
0:26:41 > 0:26:45Have fun scraping rust and mopping slime.
0:26:45 > 0:26:46Enjoy your granny-rambling.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48- Yeah, and Craig...- What now?
0:26:48 > 0:26:50I've already had to cancel my own party invitation.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53- It can't get much worse. - I uploaded this to your post.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55What do you think?
0:26:55 > 0:26:57- What?! - I think it brightens it up a bit.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59No!
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Give it... Give it back. Just delete it.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Looking on the bright side,
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Mum gets to go on holiday with her Employee of the Month.
0:27:06 > 0:27:10And I'm kind of looking forward to spending time with Dad and the guys,
0:27:10 > 0:27:12even up to my armpits in sludge.