0:00:02 > 0:00:05- Two daughters as promised.- Mm-hm. - DOORBELL KEEPS RINGING
0:00:07 > 0:00:09- Do you want me to take a look at that?- No. I've got it.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15- Are you sure? Cos there's a wee knack to it.- It's fine! I can do it!
0:00:15 > 0:00:17SLIPPER THUDS
0:00:17 > 0:00:19Mum's never been good at accepting help,
0:00:19 > 0:00:21especially from Dad.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26- Here, let me.- Why? Do you think I can't do it myself?
0:00:29 > 0:00:31- SHE GRUNTS - Right...
0:00:31 > 0:00:33- Who fancies takeaway? - I'll order for you.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39- DOORBELL CONTINUES - Up to you.
0:00:41 > 0:00:42THUD! DOORBELL STOPS
0:00:42 > 0:00:44I was just about to do that!
0:00:44 > 0:00:46CRAIG: You're welcome, Sharon!
0:01:19 > 0:01:20MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO
0:01:20 > 0:01:22SHE SNIFFS
0:01:22 > 0:01:24What's the date?
0:01:24 > 0:01:25It's the 16th, isn't it?
0:01:26 > 0:01:28So you got any plans today, Mike?
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Of course. Today is a big day!
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Way Of The Tiger 2's coming out!
0:01:37 > 0:01:40And we've got tickets for the first screening!
0:01:40 > 0:01:41Come on, Craig-san.
0:01:48 > 0:01:49Something wrong?
0:01:49 > 0:01:52- Nah, nothing.- OK.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56Just today's the anniversary of Mike and I getting together!
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Oh, guys, they forget everything.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02- Whoops.- What whoops?
0:02:02 > 0:02:05I forgot. Great Aunt Gloria called.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Gloria? What the...? What did she want?
0:02:08 > 0:02:12- Tuesday...?- Tuesday? What about Tuesday?
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Lunch? I...
0:02:14 > 0:02:16No! She can't! What did you say?
0:02:16 > 0:02:20- Chill, I told her you were working. - Oh, thank goodness!
0:02:20 > 0:02:22I mean, what a shame. I haven't seen Gloria for years.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25- It would've been really nice to catch up.- Sunday!
0:02:25 > 0:02:28- Sunday? What about Sunday? - Lunch. I said it was fine.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31- You did what?! That's today! - Well, good thing I remembered, then.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32Well, why didn't you tell me?
0:02:32 > 0:02:35What's the big deal, Mum? You're cooking lunch anyway.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37It's not that, is it? It's just...
0:02:37 > 0:02:40I never told Gloria about your dad and I splitting up.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Mum! Why?
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Well, it just never seemed like the right time.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47It'll be a relief to get that off your chest, then!
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Everything all right, Mum?
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Fine. Why?
0:03:01 > 0:03:02You're polishing a pot plant.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Ah! It's nice and shiny now.
0:03:05 > 0:03:06Oh...
0:03:06 > 0:03:10I'm worried. What will Gloria say?
0:03:10 > 0:03:15She'll say, "Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you?"
0:03:15 > 0:03:17You don't know her like I do, Millie.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19She's determined to make me feel like a failure.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20I'm sure that's not true.
0:03:20 > 0:03:24When I was 16, I came second in a big dance competition.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27- She said I was the first loser.- OK.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31- When I raised £90 for charity, she said...- Shame it wasn't 100?
0:03:31 > 0:03:33- Shame it wasn't 1,000!- Ouch!
0:03:33 > 0:03:37I know she'll make me feel like it was my fault the marriage failed.
0:03:37 > 0:03:38Just tell her the truth.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41- It was your dad's fault? - No! It was no-one's fault.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Well, she'll want it to be someone's fault,
0:03:44 > 0:03:45and preferably mine!
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Unless, well... I don't have to tell her!
0:03:49 > 0:03:52I could say...Tony's on holiday?
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Mum, if there's one thing you've taught me,
0:03:54 > 0:03:57it's that you should always be honest.
0:04:00 > 0:04:01I want a word with you.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05Me? What? Why? I haven't touched your mascara! Ha!
0:04:05 > 0:04:06You better not have!
0:04:08 > 0:04:10O...K!
0:04:10 > 0:04:13So, we've all told a few little white lies.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15But they're harmless, right?
0:04:15 > 0:04:19Wrong! Which Lauren should know better than anyone.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22HIGHLAND MUSIC PLAYS
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Do you like it? It's very dear to me. It belonged to my granny.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28I think it's pretty cool.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32The Highland Lassie look is on point right now.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35I thought, if you liked it, you could wear it to your prom.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39Poor old Lauren.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Even when you lie with the best of intentions,
0:04:41 > 0:04:43it's still more hassle than it's worth.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49- I've got a plan to get Mum out of the fix with Gloria.- Oh, no!
0:04:49 > 0:04:51- I need your help! - Even more "oh, no!"
0:04:51 > 0:04:54You got Mum into this mess, you sort it out.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56- You don't even know what I'm going to say.- I don't need to!
0:04:56 > 0:04:59It'll just be something stupid, like pretending we've all got
0:04:59 > 0:05:03- contagious diseases and the house has been quarantined.- Don't be silly!
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Or there's an unexploded World War II bomb in the garden.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09That's even sillier! Actually, keep going...
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Or getting Dad to come round
0:05:11 > 0:05:13and pretend like he's still married to Mum.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Brilliant, I knew you'd help me!
0:05:15 > 0:05:16Wait, what?!
0:05:20 > 0:05:24So, you need to come and pretend that you're still married to Mum.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Er, no, thanks.
0:05:26 > 0:05:2916 years of the real thing was more than enough for me.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33- But, Dad, Gloria's really old - the shock might be too much for her.- Ah!
0:05:35 > 0:05:37That old girl is as tough as nails.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39And your mum would never agree to it anyway.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Actually, it was Mum's idea.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44- She said that she really needs your help.- Did she?!
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- Mm-hm.- Well, it's nice of her to finally admit it!
0:05:47 > 0:05:50- You should've seen her. She was practically begging.- Oh!
0:05:50 > 0:05:53- I wish I had!- It was sad.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54I can imagine!
0:05:58 > 0:06:00No, no, no. No, no, no, no.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06- Ha! I'm totally wearing more than you!- Och!
0:06:06 > 0:06:09I win the "most clothes on" competition!
0:06:09 > 0:06:12No way! How many pairs of pants are you wearing?
0:06:12 > 0:06:13None!
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- Actually, Jake - you win! - LAUGHTER
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- You are in there, aren't you, Jake?- Yup!
0:06:20 > 0:06:23Oh, we are not worthy!
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Aw, right, what are we going to do now?
0:06:25 > 0:06:29I know - let's eat our lunch blindfolded!
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- I was thinking we might go out? - Even better! I've got a great idea -
0:06:32 > 0:06:34let's go swimming with penguins!
0:06:34 > 0:06:37Actually, I was thinking just me, Fran and Jake.
0:06:39 > 0:06:40- Oh, right.- You don't mind, do you?
0:06:40 > 0:06:43It's just it's been so long since it was just the three of us.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Of course not, no, no, you should definitely do that.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50Like you say, it'll be good to spend some time without me.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52And it's perfect, cos I've got my own plans.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Oh? What are they?
0:06:55 > 0:06:58- He's having lunch at ours! - Aye, that's right.
0:06:59 > 0:07:00Yeah.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04DOORBELL KEEPS RINGING
0:07:08 > 0:07:12- Gloria!- You should get Tony to look at that.- Oh, there's no need.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14DOORBELL STOPS Lovely to see you again, Sharon.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17- Goodness, you are looking well. - Thank you - you too.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19You've hardly got any wrinkles.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22So, how was your journey?
0:07:22 > 0:07:25Terrible. I don't know why you insist on living so far away.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Oh, not there, dear - I don't want a banister bump.
0:07:28 > 0:07:29Put it on a hanger.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31So, how's Tony?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33It's funny you should ask that.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37Actually, it's very funny, cos, you see, the thing is, Tony is in the...
0:07:38 > 0:07:40..the kitchen!
0:07:40 > 0:07:44What are you doing here? I mean, really, what are you doing?
0:07:44 > 0:07:48Just making a start on the spuds, love. Why, what's it look like?
0:07:48 > 0:07:50I genuinely have no idea!
0:07:50 > 0:07:53It's good to see you again, Gloria. Here, let me hang up your coat.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56- On a hanger - don't want to get a banister bump!- No!
0:07:56 > 0:07:58SHE LAUGHS
0:07:58 > 0:08:01- Er...cup of tea? - Oh, that would be lovely!
0:08:01 > 0:08:04I was wondering when anyone was going to offer.
0:08:06 > 0:08:11I've brought you your favourites - Turkish delight!
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Aw! Mmm!
0:08:13 > 0:08:15- WITH MOUTH FULL:- You spoil me!
0:08:17 > 0:08:20- Hiya, Gloria!- Oh, hello, dear.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Oh, goodness - someone's been let run wild.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Could you, um, excuse us for a second?
0:08:25 > 0:08:29I just need to ask Tony about the, er, the doorbell.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34I knew you'd want me to fix it eventually.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38This isn't about the doorbell! What are you doing here?
0:08:38 > 0:08:40It's fine. Lauren explained everything.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42- You can thank me later. - Thank you?!
0:08:42 > 0:08:44I know it's hard for you to ask for my help,
0:08:44 > 0:08:46but don't worry, I've got this under control.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52I can't think where you get those cheekbones.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- Gloria, there's something I have to tell you.- Mmm?
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Tony and I have...
0:08:57 > 0:08:59- We've...- Yes?
0:08:59 > 0:09:02- The truth is...- They've decided to renew their wedding vows!
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Oh? How modern!
0:09:06 > 0:09:09To be honest, I wondered if you'd make a go of it.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13Must be the first time you've managed to stick at anything in your life!
0:09:13 > 0:09:16So well done, you!
0:09:16 > 0:09:20- Thanks.- So many marriages don't last these days.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23- So true! - And when you look at your history!
0:09:23 > 0:09:27How long were you at your first job? Two weeks, wasn't it?
0:09:27 > 0:09:29- Three days.- Mmm!
0:09:29 > 0:09:32And then there was that pet shop apprenticeship she dropped out of.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35What was it? Allergic to gerbils!
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- THEY LAUGH - Yes, well, I had to quit!
0:09:38 > 0:09:41- Nobody wants to buy a pet off someone that's wheezing.- Well...
0:09:41 > 0:09:44And, you know, well, maybe I've changed, because, well...
0:09:44 > 0:09:47We are still oh so together.
0:09:47 > 0:09:48Oh!
0:09:48 > 0:09:51- Aren't we, Tone? - Aw, couldn't be happier!
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Lovely to see you looking so happy together.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Either I've time travelled or you've done something stupid.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02I snuck Dad in through the back door.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05- Have we had a Dad-flap installed? - Isn't it great that he's here?
0:10:05 > 0:10:08- No! This was a terrible plan. - This was YOUR plan.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10CHATTER FROM KITCHEN
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Anyway, it's nice to have the family together again, isn't it?
0:10:16 > 0:10:21No. It's way too weird and it's bound to go wrong. Mum and Dad
0:10:21 > 0:10:24can't stay in the same room for five minutes without arguing.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26They're not doing too badly now, though, are they?
0:10:26 > 0:10:29I make that nearly seven argument-free minutes. New PB.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32It's not right. Someone has to tell Gloria the truth.
0:10:32 > 0:10:33Be my guest.
0:10:35 > 0:10:36That's what I thought.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40So, now, we're going to stick to the "lying our heads off" plan.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43She's going to regret it!
0:10:45 > 0:10:49- So, what shall we do? - Go-karting!- No way.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52- The helmets make my hair stink. - And last time, you tinkered
0:10:52 > 0:10:55- with the engine.- You're the one that taught me mechanics.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56I want to swim with penguins.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58- Let's call Tony.- No!
0:11:00 > 0:11:03What I mean is - what would you say to tickets
0:11:03 > 0:11:06to the premier of Way Of The Tiger 2?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09- No way!- Really? Yes!
0:11:10 > 0:11:13See? Tony's not the only one that can surprise you!
0:11:13 > 0:11:14SHE LAUGHS
0:11:14 > 0:11:15Awesome!
0:11:26 > 0:11:29So, um, how's Uncle Graham?
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Oh, his usual self, off playing golf.
0:11:32 > 0:11:37Can't think why he wants to get out of the house so much.
0:11:37 > 0:11:38Oh! Who are they, Millie?
0:11:40 > 0:11:42That's Craig. He's...
0:11:42 > 0:11:44That's Lauren's boyfriend.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Boyfriend?! Lauren, you are growing up.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Boyfriend's a bit strong.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53I'd say he's more of a friend.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55In fact, even that's a bit strong.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58But you keep his photo on the mantelpiece?
0:11:58 > 0:11:59Hmm. And who's that?
0:12:01 > 0:12:05That's Mike - he's Mum's brother-in-law!
0:12:07 > 0:12:10That's, er, Tony's brother. Uncle Mike.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14Oh, yes. We met at the wedding.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16But he looks different.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Aye, he's let himself go a bit since then.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Hmm. I was thinking he'd lost weight.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26And had hair implants?
0:12:26 > 0:12:29He's very handsome now! Hee-hee!
0:12:31 > 0:12:32I'll just, er...
0:12:34 > 0:12:35..check on lunch!
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Oh, I hope you're not going to any trouble on my account.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Oh, no! No, it's just the usual.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Oh...pity.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43SHE GULPS
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Right, Tony's left me a new key.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51- He locked himself out in his dressing gown!- Ha!
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Tony! Skills!
0:12:53 > 0:12:57- It was right here.- Oh. I used it as a sword for my robot.
0:12:57 > 0:12:58Right, so where is it?
0:13:00 > 0:13:03- Really? - OK. Let's retrace your steps.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09- So, I got up in the morning... - Mm-hm?
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Oh! ..and then I put on my pants.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16And did you have it with you then?
0:13:19 > 0:13:20No.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26What did I say?
0:13:26 > 0:13:29You start off with one lie and before you know it you've got three.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31And the problem with lies is
0:13:31 > 0:13:34they have a habit of coming back and biting you on the bum.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36DOORBELL RINGS
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Oh! You look a picture!
0:13:40 > 0:13:43I can't wait to see your friends' faces when you walk into the prom.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Yeah, let's hope there isn't a freak earthquake or something.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50And guess what - I'm going to pipe you into school!
0:13:50 > 0:13:54TUNELESS PIPING OF Amazing Grace
0:13:56 > 0:13:59And Mum's in for one heck of a bum bite.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01- Pass me that oven dish. - You're making a big mistake.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- Why? Do you think I should use the baking tray?- No!
0:14:04 > 0:14:06I mean you have to tell Gloria about you and Dad.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Yeah, I will, eventually.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Preferably in a letter. Or a message in a bottle.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Tell her before it goes too far.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17It's already gone too far! This is what too far looks like!
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Now I'm married to your dad again, Mike's his brother
0:14:20 > 0:14:21and Lauren's dating Craig.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24But that's it - no more dishonesty!
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Right, does that look like I made it?
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Do you want an honest answer to that?
0:14:30 > 0:14:31Only if it's the right one.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Fine. Then you're on your own.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Tell Gloria I've got some homework to do.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41Oh, no. This is a family lunch and you're going to be there.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44And if I find you telling the truth...
0:14:44 > 0:14:45you'll be in trouble.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48SHE SIGHS
0:14:48 > 0:14:52- So, I was playing with it in the kitchen.- And then?
0:14:54 > 0:14:59- Oh, I made a jam and ham sandwich. - OK. You jam, you ham. Go, go!
0:14:59 > 0:15:00Er...
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Oh, look, got him!
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Check in the secret compartment.
0:15:06 > 0:15:11- Cheese.- Robie likes cheese. Where did you put the key, Robie?
0:15:11 > 0:15:13OK...this is happening.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21Aw, it smells great. I've really missed your Sunday roasts, Shaz.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26I mean, it's been a whole week since the last one!
0:15:26 > 0:15:28That looks lovely, Sharon.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Bit dry, maybe.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36- Oh, I think the head of the house should carve, don't you?- Yeah.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Oh, aye! Er, that'd be me.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Make sure the slices are nice and thin.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Yes, he does do them too thick.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Make them nice and thin, Tony.
0:15:49 > 0:15:50Certainly, Sharon.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Happy anniversary! LOUD GASPS
0:15:56 > 0:15:59Uh-oh! Looks like the chickens have come home to roost!
0:16:01 > 0:16:04- Anniversary? What...?- Aye, er...
0:16:06 > 0:16:08- Surprise!- Hey!
0:16:08 > 0:16:11- Tony! This is a genuine surprise! - You're not kidding!
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Happy anniversary, love.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16- Hang on a minute...- Gloria, you remember my brother Mike,
0:16:16 > 0:16:19the one who's let himself go? Thanks for helping us out, bro!
0:16:19 > 0:16:20HE KICKS HIM
0:16:20 > 0:16:23- Nobody move. I'll get my camera! - SHE GIGGLES
0:16:23 > 0:16:27- You're supposed to be at the movies! - So you could do what?
0:16:27 > 0:16:29I'm sorry! Gloria's my aunt.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31I haven't told her that Tony and I split up.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33She's got a bad heart - the shock might kill her.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35So we're pretending we're still together.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37You won't say anything, will you?
0:16:37 > 0:16:39I can't lie, Sharon - it's bad for my karma.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Finally, someone sensible!
0:16:41 > 0:16:42You don't have to lie.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- Just don't tell her the truth. - I wouldn't know where to begin!
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Here we go. Now...
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Cuddle up close, just the two of you.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52Um...
0:16:52 > 0:16:55- Oh, you mean...? Sorry! With Tony?- Yes!- My husband!
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Right, of course!
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Thanks for these...Tony.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04I thought you'd forgotten. I underestimated you.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Aye, well, there's nothing new.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09Lovely!
0:17:09 > 0:17:13- Will you be joining us, Mike? - Er, no, no, he's got to go.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Thank you! Yes, I will.
0:17:15 > 0:17:21But I thought you had to go to that...thing at...a place.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22No, no, it's all fine.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Good!
0:17:25 > 0:17:29- Are you married, Mike? - Now, that's an interesting question.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32- And what's the answer? - He's seeing a really super lady.
0:17:32 > 0:17:36Can we just eat, before anything else happens?
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Sorry I'm late.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40SHE SIGHS Look! It's chicken number two!
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Oh, Lauren's boyfriend!
0:17:43 > 0:17:44Eh?!
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Heard all about you!
0:17:46 > 0:17:48- Hi.- Hey, get off! What are you doing?
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Oh, Craig, you're not still mad with me, are you?
0:17:51 > 0:17:55We're just going to go have a little chat in private.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57- Little tiff, eh?- Yeah.- Mmm.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03- I don't get it.- How many times?! Look, it's very simple.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Mum and Dad are pretending to be married.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Mike is Dad's brother. You're my boyfriend.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09What's not to get?
0:18:09 > 0:18:12- I always knew you fancied me. - Don't be gross.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16Eugh! You're going to have to leave. We're breaking up.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20I can't believe you're breaking up with me!
0:18:20 > 0:18:23And on Mum and Dad's anniversary! Just go!
0:18:25 > 0:18:26Oh, roast chicken - sweet!
0:18:26 > 0:18:29But you're breaking up with me - that means that you can't stay.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31No, it's all right - you're forgiven.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Well, in that case, I'M breaking up with YOU!
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Nuh-uh! You could never break up with me.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Oh, pass the pepper, Da...
0:18:40 > 0:18:42..Uncle...Mike.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45NERVOUS LAUGHTER
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Where am I supposed to sit?
0:18:46 > 0:18:50I'm sure Craig won't mind if you sit on his lap, now that you've made up.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Like two little lovebirds.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54I'm afraid I wasn't expecting this many people,
0:18:54 > 0:18:56so the portions might be rather small.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Well, I did think we might have been going out.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03You don't mind, do you, Tony?
0:19:03 > 0:19:05- You are on a diet.- Aw...
0:19:06 > 0:19:10Here's to 18 years of happy marriage.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14Is that all? It feels so much longer.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Ha! Cheers!
0:19:15 > 0:19:17EVERYONE: Cheers!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21No, it's not in there.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22BOTH: Eugh!
0:19:22 > 0:19:25So where next, Jake, on the magical mystery tour?
0:19:27 > 0:19:28My moon base!
0:19:31 > 0:19:33We're never going to make it.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36- RATTLING - Um, what was that?
0:19:36 > 0:19:39It was in your trousers! It's gone behind the radiator!
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Agh, if only I had smaller hands.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Jake... JAKE SIGHS
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Quick, quick, quick!
0:19:50 > 0:19:52- Got it.- Agh! Go, go, go, go, go!
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Mmm!
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Now, this IS good, Sharon, best part of the meal.
0:19:59 > 0:20:00You must give me your recipe.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02SHE COUGHS
0:20:02 > 0:20:05- My-my recipe?- Mm-hm! - Yeah, no problem.
0:20:05 > 0:20:06- MOBILE PHONE RINGS - Ooh! Sorry!
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Oh, it's Graham. Would you excuse me?
0:20:12 > 0:20:16Oh, my top smells like Craig! Now I'm going to have to burn it.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Dried whey and mechanically recovered chocolate fragments?
0:20:21 > 0:20:25Well, this is one anniversary you won't forget in a hurry.
0:20:25 > 0:20:26I'm so sorry about this, Mike.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29Why don't you just tell her? She seems reasonable enough.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32I can't. Not after we've been brazenly lying to her face.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Chill, will you? She'll be gone soon.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36You just need to keep it up for another half an hour.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38- I want danger money. - Shut it, you!
0:20:38 > 0:20:4230 minutes. But that's it. This is not what I agreed to.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Graham was just wondering when I'd be back.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Listen, I've got a long journey ahead of me
0:20:48 > 0:20:50and I don't want to be driving home in the dark.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Well, it's been really lovely to see you, Gloria.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55So I thought it would be best if I stayed the night.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01It's really delicious.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05- I can't find my shoes. Shall I put these on?- No!
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Trainers are in the hall. Go!
0:21:07 > 0:21:10- We're going to miss it! - Over my dead body! Come on!
0:21:11 > 0:21:13- Tickets!- Oh!
0:21:14 > 0:21:15OK! OK...
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Now everyone slow down or else we'll have an a...
0:21:17 > 0:21:19THUD!
0:21:19 > 0:21:20..ccident!
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Turkish delight?
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Here's the cheesecake recipe.
0:21:24 > 0:21:29- Don't share it around, cos that's a family secret.- Ooh!
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Oh, now where are my glasses?
0:21:31 > 0:21:35- (I am not stopping the night. - You can sleep on the floor!)
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Sorry, II just remembered.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40I've got an important electricians' conference tomorrow
0:21:40 > 0:21:45down in...Sparkhampton... and so I have to set off now.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48- That's next week, Tony.- Er, no, no, it's definitely tomorrow.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Are you sure? Are you sure it's not next week?
0:21:51 > 0:21:52Er, er, let me check.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59Aye - tomorrow it is.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Perhaps I'd better just go and powder my nose.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09- What do you think you're playing at? - It's over. I want a divorce, again!
0:22:09 > 0:22:12You're always trying to fix things that aren't broken by breaking them!
0:22:12 > 0:22:15Why don't we just take a breather? Everyone stay calm.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17A composed and level mentality.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Oh, shut up!
0:22:19 > 0:22:21No! This wasn't what it was supposed to be like.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23That's what it was like.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Anything else is just a fantasy world.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Someone has to tell Gloria the truth.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Yeah - you!
0:22:31 > 0:22:34I can't just go blurting out about Mum and Dad's divorce.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39I can see I'm going to have to knock some heads together.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48Gloria! What a definitely unplanned surprise.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51I hope I haven't caused problems by staying.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Mum's just stressed.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57You see - I probably shouldn't be telling you this -
0:22:57 > 0:22:59but she's been lying to you.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Lying? What about?
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Well...
0:23:04 > 0:23:06You just can't admit you needed help.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08This is my fault. I never should have lied.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12It's OK, Sharon. Millie's told me all about it.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Sorry - someone had to.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16I don't know what to say.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18- You must think we're awful.- We?
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Forget it - it's not that big a deal.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23See? I told you she'd understand.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26I should have said something when you first arrived.
0:23:26 > 0:23:27But then Tony showed up
0:23:27 > 0:23:30- and started acting like we were still married...- Hmm?
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Oh, I don't know - I guess it just seemed easier
0:23:32 > 0:23:34than telling you about the divorce.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36- Divorce? - Then Mike showed up with flowers
0:23:36 > 0:23:39and I got so tangled up, I didn't know what else to do!
0:23:39 > 0:23:41And Craig is actually my son.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43And I hate Turkish delight.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46We've been so stupid!
0:23:46 > 0:23:48What must you think?
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Well, at least now it's all out in the open, eh?
0:23:54 > 0:23:57- Gloria?- Millie told me...
0:23:57 > 0:23:58about the pudding.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Honestly, it's fine - it's just a sprain.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10- Are you sure? - I am a medically-trained midwife!
0:24:10 > 0:24:14- It's not a baby, it's an ankle!- Mmm.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16It's fine... Argh!
0:24:16 > 0:24:19Yeah, that definitely sounds fine to me(!)
0:24:19 > 0:24:21It's OK, Mum. We've missed it now.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25Oh, I'm sorry.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29I just...I wanted to prove that I was fun too, you know?
0:24:29 > 0:24:33Ever since Tony came along, he's been the exciting one with the fun ideas
0:24:33 > 0:24:36and I'm just the boring old parent with the boring old ideas.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Mum...
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Tony's fun, but he's just the icing on the cake.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Yeah, Mum - you're the cake!
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Aw, you two!
0:24:51 > 0:24:55But why on earth would she lie about getting divorced?
0:24:55 > 0:24:58She's got it into her head that you think she's a failure.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01What? Oh, what nonsense! Honestly, that's typical of Sharon!
0:25:01 > 0:25:02She never gets anything right!
0:25:02 > 0:25:04- I rest my case.- What?
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Oh. Well, perhaps I am a bit hard on her,
0:25:07 > 0:25:09but it's only because I want her to do well.
0:25:09 > 0:25:10Maybe you should tell her that.
0:25:10 > 0:25:11Hmm.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17Oh, Sharon!
0:25:17 > 0:25:20You didn't have to make things up to impress me.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22I don't think you're a failure!
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Oh, thank you.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28You've no idea what a relief it is to hear you say that.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31In fact, there's something I'VE been meaning to tell YOU.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Graham and I got divorced.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39- But we're still friends too.- Sorry.
0:25:39 > 0:25:40When?!
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Two years ago.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46- Two years ago?!- Mm-hm. - Why didn't you tell me?
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Well, it's not that easy, is it?
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Well, you two must have a lot to talk about.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55There's just one thing I still don't understand.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Isn't Tony upset that you're dating his brother?
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Oh...
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- Hi! - TONY SIGHS
0:26:03 > 0:26:07- Good outing? - We didn't even leave the flat.
0:26:07 > 0:26:08Er, long story.
0:26:08 > 0:26:12- How was lunch? - Let's just say that I'm starving.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15What about we buy a mountain of fish and chips,
0:26:15 > 0:26:19drive up to the view and stuff our faces in the car?
0:26:19 > 0:26:20- MUM LAUGHS - Yeah!
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Looks like a good night for UFO spotting.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25You'll have to carry me, but...sounds good.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29To the left, to the right, to the left, to the right.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32And jump! And jump! That's it, Gloria! Keep those knees up!
0:26:32 > 0:26:37Seeing Mum and Dad together has made me realise what ace parents they are.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39When they're apart!
0:26:39 > 0:26:42I think I might start going to the gym.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46- Maybe I can bag a personal trainer toy boy for myself!- Oh?
0:26:46 > 0:26:47Jokes!
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Craigie has to go home now.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54Yeah. I'm sorry about that. Thank you very much for the lunch.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56It's all right, mate, you don't have to...
0:26:56 > 0:27:00Gloria wanted to get a photo of you two together to show her friends.
0:27:02 > 0:27:07- No, no. I really don't think... - Oh, come on, Craig - give her a hug.
0:27:07 > 0:27:08CAMERA CLICKS
0:27:08 > 0:27:11Oh, a bit closer! I can't quite fit you both in.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15That's it! Now, give her a nice big kiss.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17CAMERA CLICKS
0:27:17 > 0:27:19- Come on!- O...K.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22So you should always try and tell the truth.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24But sometimes, it's seriously tricky.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27Marvellous!
0:27:27 > 0:27:29I'll let them know in the end.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32But this is too good an opportunity to miss.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35Do you like Turkish delight, Mike?