0:00:00 > 0:00:04Oh! Who knew ink and paper could feel so heavy?
0:00:05 > 0:00:07It's parents' evening.
0:00:07 > 0:00:11Lauren's OK. Hers isn't until next month.
0:00:11 > 0:00:12My parents must not go.
0:00:12 > 0:00:15Do you want to know why?
0:00:15 > 0:00:19Actually, I'm keeping this one to myself.
0:00:19 > 0:00:23Which is what I should have done in the first place.
0:00:23 > 0:00:24SHE SIGHS
0:00:24 > 0:00:28When a teacher asks you to express yourself, just say no!
0:01:00 > 0:01:03Aw, what's all this?! Where's our tea?
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Oh, sorry. Unless you want aubergines!
0:01:05 > 0:01:07We've got a rush order.
0:01:07 > 0:01:08Parents' evening.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11- I'm not sure if I can make it. - That's OK.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14That's fine. It's no big deal.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16No, this is unacceptable.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17You're neglecting us!
0:01:17 > 0:01:19You're right. No, I will come, love.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22Yeah, we're looking forward to Craig's parent evening.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Last time they said if we looked hard enough
0:01:24 > 0:01:26we might find some hidden depths.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29Dad, the thing about depths is if they stay hidden...
0:01:31 > 0:01:32..they're still deep.
0:01:34 > 0:01:35So, we're staying positive.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Besides, numbers on a piece of paper?
0:01:37 > 0:01:39That kind of assessment doesn't suit everyone, right?
0:01:39 > 0:01:41You can't boil me down to just numbers.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Do we boil you down to a stew? Double win.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Then we'd have dinner and no Craig.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48It's the same night as Millie's, isn't it? We could go together.
0:01:48 > 0:01:49Except...
0:01:49 > 0:01:51I'm doing fine and that's boring to hear
0:01:51 > 0:01:56and I want to save you from all of that boredom.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Which is thoughtful of me.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Well, I've used that line before.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03It's so hard growing up second.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05None of the other parents are going. There's a parents' strike.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07That's nice, dear.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Stop, you're being embarrassing! Sister talk right now!
0:02:12 > 0:02:15- You're going down, my friend. - Parents' evening.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19- Oh, it's a shame I'm working that night.- Can you change shifts?
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Well, I can try. Just tell everyone to stop having babies.
0:02:22 > 0:02:23My teacher really needs to talk to you.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Why does she need to talk to me? You're doing fine, aren't you?
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Most of my subjects are good, but I'm failing PE.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31What exactly is the problem?
0:02:31 > 0:02:35It's my coordination. It's no longer coordinated.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38I can help you with that. I used to be top of my year.
0:02:38 > 0:02:44- 13 trophies and a sash with "Winner" on the front to prove it.- Cool!
0:02:44 > 0:02:46- What did you win in?- Football.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50- You were a sporty guy? - What was your position?- Forward.
0:02:51 > 0:02:56- And defence and goalie.- Wow! That must have been a lot of running.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Not really, it was more football of the table variety.
0:02:59 > 0:03:00Hah!
0:03:00 > 0:03:04Table football is very cool and it's about good hand/eye coordination
0:03:04 > 0:03:09and edge and the determination to totally crush your opponent.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14But mostly coordination.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Well, brilliant. Problem solved.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22OK, spill. Why don't you want mum at parents' evening?
0:03:22 > 0:03:26There is something to spill. Something big.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Fine. Your little friends will tell me.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30They don't know.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Don't worry, you know that I don't like embarrassing you.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34True.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38She doesn't LIKE embarrassing me, she loves it.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Best day ever!
0:03:42 > 0:03:45I am never letting you dress me up for Book Day again.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47What am I even meant to be?
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Isn't it obvious? Harry Pot-ter.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Pot-ter.
0:03:52 > 0:03:53SHE LAUGHS
0:03:53 > 0:03:55I've accidentally hit Send To All.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00You've been bad, haven't you? Welcome to the dark side.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02No, it's you that's Darth Lauren.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Why, then? Are you feeling something?
0:04:04 > 0:04:09- That would be so cool.- Well, I did burn my cheese muffins in DT, but...
0:04:09 > 0:04:10Oh, please!
0:04:12 > 0:04:13OK.
0:04:15 > 0:04:20So, you know at parents' evening the teachers kind of show your work?
0:04:20 > 0:04:24Well, I wrote a story in English and I don't want Mum and Dad to see it.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Why not? Is it terrible? That would be so awesome.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29It's not terrible, it's just about them.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33You wrote a story about Mum and Dad?! Do you want to live to see 14?
0:04:33 > 0:04:37- They can't see it. Ever. - What am I going to do?
0:04:37 > 0:04:39No guts, no glory.
0:04:44 > 0:04:45At least with us,
0:04:45 > 0:04:49one parent doesn't always have to know what the other one is doing.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56Mum's coming to parents evening, too. That's great.
0:04:56 > 0:04:57Yeah, but, you know...
0:04:57 > 0:05:00If you both go, it could be awkward.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Never been awkward before.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04For you maybe,
0:05:04 > 0:05:06but I think Mum feels awkward.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09She just doesn't always like to say what she's feeling.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12She's never had any trouble telling ME what she's feeling.
0:05:12 > 0:05:13Good point!
0:05:13 > 0:05:15So do you really want a whole
0:05:15 > 0:05:17night of Mum telling you what she's feeling?
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Well, mostly we sit there
0:05:19 > 0:05:21while the teachers tell us what they're feeling.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Dad, Mum's stressed, overworked.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Is she? Oh, well, I'm...
0:05:27 > 0:05:29You're not coming. Smart decision!
0:05:29 > 0:05:30Was that my decision?
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Dad's got parents' evening covered. You don't have to come.
0:05:37 > 0:05:38Oh, no, love!
0:05:38 > 0:05:40- I want to be there. I should be there.- It's OK.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43I told him you're busy. He wants to help.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46He gets distracted and he forgets to listen.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49He sits there with his listening face on, just nodding
0:05:49 > 0:05:52and occasionally saying, "Mm-hm. Mm-hm."
0:05:52 > 0:05:54See? That's what he thinks.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56That you don't trust him.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58I don't trust him!
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Exactly. He just wants to put things right.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03And he was very decisive about it.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05He was wearing his table-football sash.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08And you know how he gets when he wears his table-football sash.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Yes. Distracted by table football.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Right. There you go.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Oh, nearly!
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Right. I need thoughts on my T-shirt for parents' day.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Does it say, "I don't care what you say about my kid -
0:06:21 > 0:06:23- "you cannot hurt me"?- Wow.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26How bad have your other parents' evenings been?
0:06:26 > 0:06:27Fine. Absolutely fine.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31I mean, yeah, people say stuff, but, you know, it's just words.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Right. Not easy to sum me up in one word, anyway, so...
0:06:34 > 0:06:36- How are the aubergines coming along, Sharon?- Yes, nearly.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40Good, cos we've got another order here for mushroom cushions.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43It's like someone's putting together a veggie cushion stir fry.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- It's, er, rush delivery, though, so...- Oh, great(!)
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- Oh. Oh, Millie...- It's OK.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51I'll tell Dad you're not coming.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Thanks. I'm sorry. I just... I really need to do this.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59Yep. You guessed it! I ordered the mushroom cushions.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Parents' evening - sorted!
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Oh, 5-0!
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Come on, Fran. You can do better than that!
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- I told you - it's my coordination. - You want to listen to Tony.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14I mean, he's actually pretty amazing at this.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16I am, aren't I? 5-0 amazing.
0:07:16 > 0:07:17PHONE RINGS
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Yeah, but can't you just talk to my teachers?
0:07:19 > 0:07:22I'll ask my supervisor, sweetheart, but I can't promise anything.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25Er, no, I'm not going to parents' evening. I thought you were.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32It's OK. Don't panic.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35This doesn't definitely mean they've talked.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37We've had a talk.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Maybe it was a talk about the weather
0:07:39 > 0:07:42and they haven't actually figured it out.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45We figured out what's going on.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47You think we'll embarrass you.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Or fight in front of your teachers.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Your dad's calmed down a lot.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55We both want to be there as opposed to neither of us being there,
0:07:55 > 0:07:56see how you're doing.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58- Especially in English.- What?!
0:07:58 > 0:08:00English?
0:08:00 > 0:08:01Why English?
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Because you're so good at it.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05This is really great.
0:08:05 > 0:08:11I'm just going to go and think about how great this is.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17You are so busted.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20They thought I was worried they'd embarrass me.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Well, that's not a worry. That's a given.
0:08:22 > 0:08:23And now they're both coming!
0:08:23 > 0:08:25How bad is your story?
0:08:25 > 0:08:28What's your title, something like Both My Parents Are Losers?
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Cos that'd be a great title. Also a true one.
0:08:31 > 0:08:32It's called Meatballs.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Meatballs? What's that, a recipe?
0:08:35 > 0:08:37No, and it's not bad, either.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41It's just personal.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42Am I in it?
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Yeah. You're the meatball.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46- The main part?- No, of course not!
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Why would you be in it?
0:08:48 > 0:08:50You better have written something nice about me.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Focus!
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Now, how am I going to stop them from coming?
0:08:55 > 0:08:56You don't.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59But you can stop them from speaking to your English teacher.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Just give me a second to pull up my tactical teacher spreadsheet.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Drop the ball!
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Oh, yeah! 1-0!
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Yes!
0:09:16 > 0:09:17Yay!
0:09:17 > 0:09:193-2!
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Yes!
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Yes!
0:09:23 > 0:09:244-4!
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Er, I'll have to stop. I've done my back in.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Oh, yeah?
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Not much wrong with your coordination, though.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35I'm the worst! I'm terrible at PE.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37You said you were failing at PE
0:09:37 > 0:09:40because you want your mum to come to parents' evening.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43She goes to Jake's parents' evenings because she worries about him.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45So you thought,
0:09:45 > 0:09:47"If I pretend to be bad at something,
0:09:47 > 0:09:49"she'll have to pay attention"?
0:10:00 > 0:10:03So you haven't done your maths homework
0:10:03 > 0:10:05and your teacher is Mr Evans
0:10:05 > 0:10:08and you know that Mr Evans has a thing for
0:10:08 > 0:10:11alternative folk music, so you say,
0:10:11 > 0:10:13"I forgot because I was listening to the Lumineers.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16"And then spent the rest of the night teaching myself
0:10:16 > 0:10:18"tiny guitar and whiny voice."
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Job done. People love to talk about their hobbies.
0:10:21 > 0:10:25If you spent this much time on your homework, you'd have straight As.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Homework? You're so weird.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31- So who's your teacher for English, Miss Knope?- Mm-hm.
0:10:31 > 0:10:36Her interests are Shakespeare - quelle surprise -
0:10:36 > 0:10:38and haiku from Japan.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41- What's haiku?- A Japanese boy band.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Mum, about parents' evening.
0:10:45 > 0:10:49- It turns out my English teacher won't be there.- Why not?
0:10:49 > 0:10:52- She's visiting Japan cos she likes haiku.- What's haiku?
0:10:52 > 0:10:55It's, erm, the Japanese One Direction.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58No, a haiku is a short poem.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02Yeah, one of the most famous ones goes, "An old silent pond.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04"A frog jumps into the pond.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06"Splash. Silence again."
0:11:06 > 0:11:08That's the most famous one?
0:11:08 > 0:11:10It's better in Japanese.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Let me try.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16Parents evening is freaking Craig out. He wishes he was a frog.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20- Not bad.- Oh, it's just pressure with you lot, isn't it?
0:11:20 > 0:11:22And you say you don't care about what they say and you
0:11:22 > 0:11:24say you don't care about the numbers,
0:11:24 > 0:11:25but you do care about the numbers.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27That's not true, Craig.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30The words, the numbers, they don't matter. You are not a number.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31Exactly.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33I'm not a number.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35But if you were, you'd be a zero.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38- You're going to do great, Craig! - Lauren!
0:11:39 > 0:11:42Big night tonight! You all set?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Yeah. Dad's meeting us there.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Thanks for helping.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48That's just what big sisters do.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52No, they don't. Wait!
0:11:52 > 0:11:54You're planning something.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56You're being too nice.
0:11:56 > 0:11:57I'm often nice for no reason.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Name one time.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01I let Mum and Dad bring you home when you were born.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04No, you're after something.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06You still want to know what my story says about you!
0:12:06 > 0:12:09No, I've moved on. I don't care what you say about me.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12You care what everyone says about you!
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Millie! Hurry up!
0:12:14 > 0:12:15Mike and Craig are waiting.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18You're just going to have to take my word for it.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20I'm not planning anything.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22I hate taking your word for it!
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Right. Where to look first?
0:12:44 > 0:12:45Oh...
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Oh, you do the cooking.
0:12:50 > 0:12:51I thought you had to work.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55Well, I changed my shift and Jake's at Zach's, so parents' evening.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58Weak tea and cheap biscuits, here we come.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00I told her it wasn't going very well -
0:13:00 > 0:13:01me helping you with your coordination.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04I wasn't at one with the small plastic men.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Yeah, well, I'm not at one with schools.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07Every time I get in one,
0:13:07 > 0:13:10I'm reminded of being a teenage misfit, like everyone's judging me.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14- Don't worry, Mum. No-one's judging you.- OK.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16So that's what you're wearing?
0:13:17 > 0:13:18It's fine.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23- Well done, Millie. - Thanks, Dad. I'll go tell Lauren.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26Told you that we could do parents' evening together without fighting.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Well, almost.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- I'm sorry, but you so do not make a mean paella.- What?
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Well, that was not proper Flamenco.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Well, it made Mrs Sanchez smile.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38That was a grimace!
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Do you want a quick cuppa?
0:13:41 > 0:13:42Aye, why not?
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Parents' evening was great!
0:13:46 > 0:13:49There was a tense moment when Dad decided to show everyone
0:13:49 > 0:13:53his steel drum skills, and I saw Miss Knope, but she didn't see me.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Craig was getting a grilling.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58He and Michael have stopped for chips.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Millie, I, erm... I read your story.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03I told you that was private.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07Yeah, I know, but it's dynamite, really.
0:14:07 > 0:14:08DOORBELL RINGS
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Oh, no!
0:14:12 > 0:14:14Please tell me I'm trapped in a nightmare
0:14:14 > 0:14:17and that is not Miss Knope at our door!
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Don't be silly.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21DOORBELL RINGS
0:14:21 > 0:14:23That is her! That's Dopey Knopey!
0:14:23 > 0:14:25I am trapped in a nightmare!
0:14:25 > 0:14:28What am I going to do?
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Just stay here. I can get rid of her.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32What if Mike and Craig come back?
0:14:32 > 0:14:34If you see them coming, just yell, "Chips."
0:14:34 > 0:14:36OK, go!
0:14:38 > 0:14:41It's fine. It's just one of my mates.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Teacher at the door
0:14:45 > 0:14:49Like a frog in your handbag Causes much surprise.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Oh, a haiku! Very impressive, Lauren.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54- Actually, I was hoping for a quick word with your mum.- Sorry!
0:14:54 > 0:14:56She's at the zoo.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59- At night?- Yes, to see all the nocturnal animals.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00Such as?
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- Penguins.- Never seen nocturnal penguins.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07- Cos they only come out at night. They live in the dark.- Oh, no!
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Anyway, I'll tell her you stopped by.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Chips!
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Anyway, on second thoughts, would you like to come in and wait?
0:15:16 > 0:15:20- Oh, thank you.- Would you like to see my room?- Oh!- Hurry up!
0:15:26 > 0:15:27Just this way.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32- Is this your room?- Yeah.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34I love my doom dance.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36Oh, look.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39You came second in a human beatboxing competition.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42- Yes, I did, yup.- Do a bit for me!
0:15:42 > 0:15:44BEATBOXING
0:15:45 > 0:15:47# Break it down! Maraca solo! #
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Will you just excuse me for one second?
0:15:58 > 0:15:59Ah!
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Stall Mum, I'll get Mike and Craig out of the way,
0:16:04 > 0:16:06and then we can get Miss Knope out of here.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09TOILET FLUSHES
0:16:12 > 0:16:15- What?- You're never going to believe who's in there.
0:16:15 > 0:16:20Everything OK in here? Great. Well, it's probably time Dad left.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22- Who was at the door? - Lauren's boyfriend.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Friend who is a boy.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28- I want to meet him.- Me too.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Sorry, Miss Knope, I don't know what Lauren was thinking.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Come this way. There we go.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39No! You can't see him.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Why not? What's wrong with him?
0:16:41 > 0:16:43I need to see what's wrong with him.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45If he's got a piercing, I'm calling the police.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Oh, in you go...
0:16:50 > 0:16:52I'm afraid Michael didn't...
0:16:52 > 0:16:53No, wait!
0:16:53 > 0:16:54She needs her privacy.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57- To do what?- Just to talk.
0:16:57 > 0:16:58It's important that you trust her.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Oh, Millie, you are so naive.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04She's not in there.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Mum! I can explain.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Ah, they're in there, eh? Right, out of the way.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Where are they?
0:17:13 > 0:17:15In the...attic.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21- CRAIG:- She's here to take back all the good stuff she said about me.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23I wouldn't do that, Craig.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26You've worked really hard this term
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Not that anyone'd know it, you crafty boy.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Nice one, Knopey.
0:17:30 > 0:17:31Miss Knope!
0:17:31 > 0:17:33I wanted to see Millie's mum.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Why didn't you say so?
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Let me just get her for you now.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42- Has she gone?- Well, she...
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Bad news.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Knopey's in there.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48She wants a word with your mum.
0:17:51 > 0:17:52Millie, wait.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56Hello, Millie. Now, what's going on?
0:17:56 > 0:17:58What are you going to tell Mum?
0:17:58 > 0:18:00I missed you at parents' evening.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02I wanted to ask you and your mum
0:18:02 > 0:18:04if I could enter your Meatballs essay for a prize.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06What?
0:18:06 > 0:18:07No.
0:18:08 > 0:18:09They don't know.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11You mean you've not read it to them?
0:18:12 > 0:18:14I see.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15I told them you were in Japan,
0:18:15 > 0:18:16but now you're here.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Miss Knope?!
0:18:18 > 0:18:22- TONY:- Well, you're definitely not a teenage boy with piercings, so...
0:18:22 > 0:18:23Where are you hiding him?
0:18:23 > 0:18:26- Hiding who?- Your boyfriend. - What boyfriend?
0:18:26 > 0:18:28I thought you were in Japan.
0:18:28 > 0:18:29I wish she was.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Well, I'm always going on about it,
0:18:31 > 0:18:34I think Millie got the wrong end of the stick.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36I'm confused.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37I came to talk to you about Millie.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Well, I saw you at parents' evening...
0:18:39 > 0:18:42- You did?- What did you want to talk to us about?
0:18:42 > 0:18:46I just wanted you to know that Millie has a lot of potential.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49And she shouldn't be scared.
0:18:50 > 0:18:55Writers are at their best when they are brave and true to themselves.
0:18:58 > 0:18:59That's all.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Right, I'd better be going.
0:19:01 > 0:19:02Oh, thank you for coming.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04And sorry about the confusion.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06I'm still confused, I think.
0:19:08 > 0:19:09- LAUREN:- What Dopey Knopey didn't say
0:19:09 > 0:19:12was Millie's written a brilliant story...
0:19:12 > 0:19:14- Lauren!- ..which you both should read.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19- Millie!- I'll go. Just wait here.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22So...
0:19:22 > 0:19:24where is her boyfriend, exactly?
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Oh...
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Millie. Please come out.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Things can't get any worse.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Things can always get worse.
0:19:34 > 0:19:35Tonight's a good example.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38OK, just hear me out.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41I thought you'd written some lame story,
0:19:41 > 0:19:42but you didn't.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48And I think that deep down, sort of...
0:19:49 > 0:19:51..you want Mum and Dad to hear it.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54Otherwise...
0:19:55 > 0:19:56..why would you write it?
0:20:03 > 0:20:04LOCK CLICKS OPEN
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Let me get this straight.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20You're doing great in science, great in maths, great in French,
0:20:20 > 0:20:21and what was the other one?
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Oh, yeah, great in PE.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27- I may have lied about my coordination.- No kidding.
0:20:27 > 0:20:28Do you hate schools?
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Course not. I just...
0:20:30 > 0:20:33never wanted MY parents to come to parents' evening.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36"Amber has so much potential, if only she'd try."
0:20:36 > 0:20:39- SHE CHUCKLES - They were right, of course, but...
0:20:39 > 0:20:40you're different.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42I am so glad I went.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Me too!
0:20:44 > 0:20:48Now, I am picking out a film that is in no way educational.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50No documentaries, then?
0:20:50 > 0:20:55Not unless it features a trashy love story or exploding zombies.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56Or both!
0:20:56 > 0:20:57LAUGHTER
0:20:57 > 0:20:58Come on!
0:20:59 > 0:21:01SHE LAUGHS GHOULISHLY
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Mum...
0:21:04 > 0:21:05Dad...
0:21:05 > 0:21:08I did write a story, and it IS about you.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12- But I was worried about you seeing it.- But you're not now?
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Will you read it to us?
0:21:15 > 0:21:17I am still worried, yeah...
0:21:18 > 0:21:19..but I'll read it to you.
0:21:21 > 0:21:22It's called Meatballs.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26I thought it was an ordinary day.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Better than ordinary,
0:21:28 > 0:21:31because mum was cooking my favourite tea.
0:21:31 > 0:21:32Spaghetti and meatballs.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34LAUGHTER
0:21:36 > 0:21:37It's not my favourite any more.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42After tea, they had to tell us something.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47I don't remember who spoke first,
0:21:47 > 0:21:48or the exact words used.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51I just remember the little things.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56The way Mum kept touching her wedding ring,
0:21:56 > 0:21:58like she was getting ready to take it off.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01The look on Lauren's face.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04And the way my chest felt weird.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09I wondered whether Dad had started packing yet.
0:22:10 > 0:22:11The next morning,
0:22:11 > 0:22:13I woke up first.
0:22:13 > 0:22:18I lay on my back and I listened to the sounds of the house.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21I heard Mum get up and go into the bathroom.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28I could hear Dad pulling his suitcase from on top of the wardrobe.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34But it was the thing that I couldn't hear that was good.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37I couldn't hear any arguing.
0:22:48 > 0:22:53- Pretty good, isn't it? - It's very good.- It's really good.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55Is that what Miss Knope came about?
0:22:55 > 0:22:58She wants to enter it for a prize.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59Don't know if it's that good.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02- MIKE:- Guess who's a total genius?
0:23:03 > 0:23:05My son. I couldn't wait for you to guess.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Miss Knope says he's come along three sub levels in a year.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12So, it looks like your hidden depths aren't so hidden.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15They're not hidden, but they're still deep.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19So that's you off the hook,
0:23:19 > 0:23:21and so am I.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24That just leaves Lauren...
0:23:25 > 0:23:28She's still got parents' evening to come.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Mum... About that.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32I hear they're planning a parent strike.
0:23:32 > 0:23:33MILLIE CHUCKLES
0:23:35 > 0:23:37So I needn't have worried,
0:23:37 > 0:23:41and it felt quite good to write about what was on my mind.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43And you want to know what the weirdest thing is?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46I fancy meatballs for tea.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Oh, what's all this?
0:26:33 > 0:26:34Where's our tea?
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Oh, sorry. Unless you want aubergines?
0:26:36 > 0:26:38We got a rush order.
0:26:38 > 0:26:39Parents' evening.