0:00:02 > 0:00:03TELEPHONE RINGS
0:00:06 > 0:00:08Here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff,
0:00:08 > 0:00:12we seek to answer any question you may ask.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14No question is too ridiculous.
0:00:14 > 0:00:18On call are our highly curious researchers, Lovett,
0:00:18 > 0:00:24Wannamaker, Frazernagle, Tea Party and of course Captain Lengthwidth.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27The ministry is a thinking facility that helps us
0:00:27 > 0:00:30to find you an answer.
0:00:30 > 0:00:34TANNOY: 'The working day will commence in 10 seconds.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38'Don't be late.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49'Attention! Mr Reeves is entering the building.'
0:00:49 > 0:00:53Welcome to the Ministry of Curious Stuff!
0:00:54 > 0:00:56- Morning, everybody!- Good morning.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59- Good morning, Mr Reeves! - Good morning, Mr Reeves!
0:00:59 > 0:01:04- Good morning, Mr Reeves!- What a marvellous day.- Quiet, Reeves.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08Now, look here, I'm going to do some practising for Britain's Got Talent.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11- I can't get involved this morning. - You carry on.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15Far too much to do on the ledger. Just doing the accounts.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17HE PLAYS
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Now, look here! I made it very clear that I'm doing accounts.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Now, you look here! Look here!
0:01:26 > 0:01:29HE PLAYS
0:01:30 > 0:01:33- Now, look here! Look here.- Look here.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36I'm trying here, I'm trying to do my work.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39You can go practise anywhere else in the ministry. Look here!
0:01:39 > 0:01:42You look here! Get on with your work and I'll get on with mine.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44- You look here.- You look here.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46HE PLAYS
0:01:50 > 0:01:53Mr Frazernagle, could you put the first call through, please?
0:01:53 > 0:01:57- There's a call coming through on line four, Mr Reeves.- Thank you.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00Hello, this is Vic Reeves at the Ministry of Curious Stuff,
0:02:00 > 0:02:02how might I help you?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Hi, this is Tatty.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06I was just wondering, will dinosaurs ever come back?
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Thank you, Tatty, what a very good question.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14I shall make every endeavour to find out. Thank you. Goodbye!
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Tatty wants to know, will dinosaurs ever come back?
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Let's ask an expert.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29Mum, wake up.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Now then, if dinosaurs came back,
0:02:31 > 0:02:33do you think they'd be able to fit into society,
0:02:33 > 0:02:37and man and dinosaur live together in perfect harmony?
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- Do you think that could happen? - Never mind that.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Are you wearing your Tweety Pie underpants?
0:02:42 > 0:02:46- I left them in a jim-jam bag.- Shh! Not in front of the staff!
0:02:46 > 0:02:48If you must know, I'm wearing the Iron Man underpants.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52Well, I didn't iron those, son! Now, what do you want for your tea?
0:02:52 > 0:02:56Thank you to that expert. (Just ketchup, please. Thanks.)
0:02:56 > 0:03:00Now then, I tell you what would be good.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02If we could talk to a real, live dinosaur.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05There's something prehistoric coming through G1, Mr Reeves.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07'Dinosaur loading in G1.'
0:03:13 > 0:03:17Hello! And who's this coming out of the door?
0:03:21 > 0:03:22What's your name, sir?
0:03:22 > 0:03:28Well, my name is Craig, I'm 21 from Chipping Sodbury,
0:03:28 > 0:03:31and if you hadn't guessed yet, I'm a dinosaur.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Well, thank you, Craig, we had guessed you were a dinosaur.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37What we're going to do is see how you, as a dinosaur,
0:03:37 > 0:03:39fit into modern society.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43- How are you with that, Craig?- Well, I'm a little nervous, to be honest.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Never mind, don't be nervous. Three very simple tasks,
0:03:45 > 0:03:48starting with the first task.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51It's a task we all perform every day, it's peeling the banana!
0:03:51 > 0:03:54That's right, just an ordinary, everyday banana.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57I really do enjoy performing this task.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00I should point out that that's just a standard banana,
0:04:00 > 0:04:04no smoke, no mirrors, just a standard banana from Tel Aviv.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Here we go with the standard banana.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10- See the nerves, there. - Really struggling.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Really struggling with this task.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16Really trying - those arms are really quite pathetic, aren't they?
0:04:16 > 0:04:19- Does anybody know why they're so small?- Nobody knows.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23Ah, there we are! Fail on the first task.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27Hard luck there, Craig, hard cheese indeed.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Moving onto the second task, it's a punch ball.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33That's right, this is just a regular, everyday punchball on loan
0:04:33 > 0:04:38from Kawowski's gym in the high street, where champions are made.
0:04:38 > 0:04:43- Micki Kawowski's gym, yeah. Are you ready, Craig?- As I'll ever be.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46What we want you to do is simply punch the punchball.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Off you go, Craig, in your own time. Getting ready.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53- Nice little useless claws. - Got to get Craig...
0:04:53 > 0:04:55That's his first attempt.
0:04:55 > 0:05:00- That's pathetic. - Come on, Craig!- Give it a punch.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Take a swing, take a swing.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Ohh! So sad.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Now then, Craig, not doing too well up to now,
0:05:08 > 0:05:11but we're going to finish off with a standard task which
0:05:11 > 0:05:13we all perform in modern society every day.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16And that task, Craig, is touching your toes.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19How do you think you're going to do, Craig?
0:05:19 > 0:05:21- Let's find out, shall we? - Let's find out.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23- We're rooting for you, Craig. - Thank you.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26I should point out that while Craig steadies himself,
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Craig is an Aries, his hobbies include looking out the window
0:05:29 > 0:05:32and going for walks, and hip-hop.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Let's see how he gets on with this task of touching the toes.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Touch your toes, Craig!
0:05:37 > 0:05:39CRACK!
0:05:39 > 0:05:44- Oh, my back!- Oh, I felt that. Craig, you all right?
0:05:44 > 0:05:48- Oh, I'm in a lot of pain, actually. - OK. Well, well done to Craig there.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52- Off you go, Craig. - All right, everyone.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56- Thank you, I've had a really lovely day.- Good, thank you very much.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Craig the dinosaur, there!
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Mr Reeves, please get on with the question.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05All right, all right, all right! Who rattled your cage?
0:06:05 > 0:06:09Back to Tatty's question - will dinosaurs ever come back?
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Well, here's a curious fact for you, Mr Reeves.
0:06:12 > 0:06:17- Did you know there is such a thing as a frozen zoo?- I didn't.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22Welcome to the amazing frozen zoo in San Diego!
0:06:22 > 0:06:25Here we keep over 800 examples of endangered animals,
0:06:25 > 0:06:28all frozen to prevent their extinction.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30CROWD: Oooh!
0:06:31 > 0:06:35Or, more accurately, their DNA in some test tubes!
0:06:35 > 0:06:37GROANING
0:06:37 > 0:06:41Oh, don't be like that. DNA is really exciting and cool. Look!
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Hey, kids, I'm Danny DNA.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47I'm a kind of biological recipe for making animals.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50So, in the future, if any become extinct, we can make copies of them!
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Wahey!
0:06:52 > 0:06:56- Get on with it! - Where are all the animals?- Ahem.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Actually, that is quite boring.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01Can you do an impression or something, just to keep us going?
0:07:01 > 0:07:06Why, sure I can! "Grrr, I'm a big bear, dangerous and endangered.
0:07:06 > 0:07:07"Grrr!"
0:07:07 > 0:07:14No? OK, hold on. "Coo-coo, I'm a rare and beautiful bird. Coo-coo!"
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Oh, who am I kidding? Come back in 30 years. Bring your kids!
0:07:21 > 0:07:22So they've started freezing
0:07:22 > 0:07:25the DNA of animals so they can bring them back in the future.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27No big deal - I've been doing that for ages.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31- In fact, I've got a frozen zoo. Do you want to see?- Oh, I'd love to.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Want to see my animals? I'll show you.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36- Anyone want to see my frozen animals?- Of course!- Yes!
0:07:38 > 0:07:43Yes, have a look at this. In here, very exciting. Where've they gone?
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Has anyone seen my frozen zoo?
0:07:45 > 0:07:48No, nobody's seen your frozen zoo, nobody's seen it. Calm down.
0:07:48 > 0:07:54Where did you get that oversized ice from in your stupid drink?
0:07:54 > 0:07:57- I got it out the freezer.- This one? - Yeah, the Vic's Frozen Zoo freezer.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00The Vic's Frozen Zoo freezer. Yes, and what's this?
0:08:00 > 0:08:03- You've defrosted my rare and extinct bumfluffowl!- You know,
0:08:03 > 0:08:07I though I could taste a bit of bumfluffery in there.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Do you know what you are, Captain Lengthwidth?
0:08:09 > 0:08:14- You're a great, heaving, steaming pile of manure.- I heard that rumour.
0:08:14 > 0:08:18I started it. Right, come on, let's get back to the question.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Tatty wants to know, will dinosaurs ever come back?
0:08:20 > 0:08:25Well, Mr Reeves, I'm not sure you'd want to bring back dinosaurs.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Why ever not, darling?
0:08:27 > 0:08:30If dinosaurs were to come back, there'd be a lot fewer people.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34Some dinosaurs are huge, meat-eating monsters.
0:08:34 > 0:08:39It says here a T-Rex could crush a car or eat your granny.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Ooh, well, I hope they don't come back,
0:08:41 > 0:08:46- because I quite like my granny! - Wait! I have the answer here!- What?!
0:08:46 > 0:08:50It says dinosaurs CAN come back!
0:08:50 > 0:08:57THEY SCREAM
0:08:57 > 0:09:04- Wait, wait, wait. Silly me. It says here they can't.- Oh.- Phew!
0:09:06 > 0:09:09There are no animals around today closely related enough to dinosaurs
0:09:09 > 0:09:12that we might have suitable DNA to create a dino clone.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15- So, thankfully, he's right. - Very good. OK.
0:09:15 > 0:09:16Miss Tea Party,
0:09:16 > 0:09:19please get that information off to Tatty
0:09:19 > 0:09:22as quickly as possibly possible, if that's at all possible.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26- Right away, Mr Reeves. - TANNOY: 'Attention, attention.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29'Flying Postal Services entering the ministry.'
0:09:29 > 0:09:34'Please have your post prepared for the postal personnel upon arrival.'
0:09:37 > 0:09:41'Postal person descending. Postal person descending.'
0:09:42 > 0:09:44'Please stand back.
0:09:44 > 0:09:51'Postal service reaching its destination in three, two, one.'
0:09:56 > 0:09:59'Postal services departing. Stand clear.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02'Post will be delivered in approximately two minutes
0:10:02 > 0:10:06'and 32 seconds.'
0:10:09 > 0:10:13'Thank you for using Flying Postal Services.'
0:10:13 > 0:10:17Right, come on, let's have another question.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Of course, Mr Reeves, I've got another call on line three.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Good, thank you.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28How might I help you?
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Hi, my name's Leo, and my question is,
0:10:31 > 0:10:33can an animal ever be a superhero?
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Very good question, Leo, very good indeed.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39I'll do my best to answer it. Goodbye.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Leo wants to know, can animals ever be superheroes?
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Oh, I have a curious fact here, Mr Reeves.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Cockroaches have a superpower.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54In fact, they're super tough.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57They can survive for four weeks without a head!
0:10:57 > 0:11:00It says here that they're almost invincible -
0:11:00 > 0:11:04they're said to be the only animal that could survive a nuclear bomb.
0:11:04 > 0:11:09Invincible, yeah! Yeah, invincible. Do you know what?
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Those cockroaches, as they call themselves,
0:11:12 > 0:11:15they come around, hanging around in my back yard,
0:11:15 > 0:11:19acting like the tough guy, chest puffed out like a have-a-go hero,
0:11:19 > 0:11:21munching on crisps like they own the place.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25- They think they're so cool and trendy and all that.- Don't they just?
0:11:25 > 0:11:29- You know, watch me, see my moves? - Yeah, they're idiots.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Yeah, they are idiots. You know what?
0:11:31 > 0:11:35- I could have a cockroach like that. - Yeah, me too, just like that.
0:11:35 > 0:11:36Take it out.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40Excuse me, could you direct me to the nearest information centre?
0:11:40 > 0:11:43Ahh! Eeeh! It's a cockroach!
0:11:43 > 0:11:46- Give him your wallet. - Yeah, yeah, take my wallet!
0:11:46 > 0:11:50It's got nearly £7 in it, but just don't hit my face!
0:11:50 > 0:11:52It's my fortune.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Under the desk - get under.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58Have a look, see if it's gone. Has it gone yet?
0:11:58 > 0:12:00It's gone, it's gone, it's gone, chill out.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03- Lengthwidth, you're just a big baby.- What?
0:12:03 > 0:12:05I saw the way you acted, you were like a big baby,
0:12:05 > 0:12:08- scared of a cockroach.- No, I was just doing what you were doing.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12- You weren't doing what I was doing. - You were hiding under the desk,
0:12:12 > 0:12:15- I was just doing what you were doing! - Yeah, whatever!- Whatever!
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- Whatever.- Whatever.- Whatever. - Whatever.- Whatever.
0:12:18 > 0:12:23- Are you two quite finished?- Yes. - Yes.- Oh, just one more thing.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27- Yeah, what? Whatever!- Whatever! - HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Right, come on, let's answer this question.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33Leo wants to know, can an animal be a superhero?
0:12:33 > 0:12:36Well, Mr Reeves, ants seem to be really super.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Ant can lift 20 times its own bodyweight.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46That's the same as you being able to lift a car with five people in it.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Yeah, looks like you've got a problem with your exhaust, mate.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Going to take all week to get the parts.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55If the same size as a man, it could run as fast as a racehorse.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Good afternoon. Lovely day for it.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00And the ant has the biggest brain of all insects.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03In fact, a colony of ants has collectively
0:13:03 > 0:13:05the same-size brain as a human.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09- Ooh, I never knew that. - Well, I did.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13Well, who'd have thought that the humble ant could do that?
0:13:13 > 0:13:16But we need more facts. Can animals be superheroes?
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Well, Mr Reeves, have you heard about the mind-control wasp?
0:13:19 > 0:13:21A what what what?
0:13:21 > 0:13:22# A what what what?
0:13:22 > 0:13:25BOTH: # A what what what what what what what
0:13:25 > 0:13:26# What whadiddly what
0:13:26 > 0:13:28# Whadiddlyodiddlyat what
0:13:28 > 0:13:29# What a lovely hot pot
0:13:29 > 0:13:30# What what! #
0:13:30 > 0:13:35- Not a hot pot. A wasp.- A wasp? - A mind-control wasp.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38They come from Costa Rica
0:13:38 > 0:13:41and they can actually control the minds of spiders.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45The baby wasp, or larva, will attack a spider
0:13:45 > 0:13:47and take control of its brain.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Hmm, and what happens next?
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Well, it makes the spider stop building its normal web,
0:13:52 > 0:13:56and instead build a little cocoon for the baby wasp to grow in.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59- It is amazing, Mr Reeves. - It is amazing.
0:13:59 > 0:14:04- And not only is it amazing - it's curious.- Brace yourselves!
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Stations, everyone!
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Hello, little fella. What's it like being a mind-control wasp?
0:14:25 > 0:14:29- Look into my eyes.- I'd rather not, if you don't mind.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32I said, look into my eyes.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36- All right, then. - You are feeling sleepy.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40I am the master, and you are completely under my control. Say it!
0:14:40 > 0:14:43"I am the master and you are completely under my control."
0:14:43 > 0:14:46- No, you're under MY control. - All right. What you said.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50You will do everything I say.
0:14:50 > 0:14:55When you hear this piece of music, you'll do a mystical little dance.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58MUSIC PLAYS
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- Yes.- And when I click my fingers,
0:15:03 > 0:15:06you will completely forget this conversation ever took place.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10- Yes.- Good.- So, what's it like being a mind-control wasp?
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:15:18 > 0:15:23We can probably safely say that animals can be superheroes.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26We've heard about super tough cockroaches,
0:15:26 > 0:15:28we've heard about ants with super strength,
0:15:28 > 0:15:34but I'm not sure I really believe in this hypno-wasp business.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Don't believe it.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40Can you get those facts off as quickly as possible, please,
0:15:40 > 0:15:43- Miss Tea Party?- Right away, Mr Reeves.- Thank you.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45'Flying Postal Services has arrived.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51'Post prepared for postal personnel.
0:15:52 > 0:15:56'Thank you for using Flying Postal Services.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58'Your number one aerial courier.'
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Fly away, fluttering delivery girl.
0:16:02 > 0:16:08Well, it's been quite a fabulous day up till now, very very productive.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10MUSIC PLAYS
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Erm... How did I...?
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Right, OK! Um...
0:16:30 > 0:16:34Right, come on, let's crack on. Mr Frazernagle, anyone on the lines?
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Yeah, one last call coming through, Mr Reeves.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39I'll connect you straight away.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42(POSH ACCENT) Hello, this is Vic Reeves here
0:16:42 > 0:16:44at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47How may I-I-I be of assistance to you?
0:16:47 > 0:16:50My name's Jeremy, and my question is,
0:16:50 > 0:16:53will robots ever take over the world?
0:16:53 > 0:16:54Oh... Thank you, Jeremy.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58Jeremy wants to know, will robots ever take over the world?
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Mr Reeves, I've got something coming through G1.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08'Zoltan loading in G1.'
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Ah, hello...
0:17:10 > 0:17:14I am Zoltan the Magnificent, Zoltan the Incredible,
0:17:14 > 0:17:17Zoltan the Indesctructible.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20- Didn't quite catch your name, son. - It's Zoltan.- Right, good.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23So, Zoltan, you want to take over the world.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26That's it, you... That's right, you've got it in one.
0:17:26 > 0:17:31Right. And when you take over the world, what are your plans?
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Well, I shall ensure buses run on time,
0:17:33 > 0:17:36I will fill in the potholes in Basildon High Street,
0:17:36 > 0:17:39and I will introduce free hearing tests
0:17:39 > 0:17:42for the elderly and children and Tracy Beaker.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45- So what else would you...- Silence! Silence, I haven't finished.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49I will put in a high-speed rail link between Chester and Crewe,
0:17:49 > 0:17:53and I will put up a massive statue in honour of Tracy Beaker.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55- Right...- Silence!
0:17:55 > 0:17:59And then I will make underground pipes for hedgehogs
0:17:59 > 0:18:03under the motorway, M6 between junctions 3 and 17,
0:18:03 > 0:18:07and I will oversee the annihilation of all feeble human life,
0:18:07 > 0:18:10- apart from Tracy Beaker. - You really like Tracy Beaker, then.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13She's all right, yeah. I can take her or leave her, really.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17- So, you wouldn't want to meet her. - Oh, no, I would like to meet her.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- That is something I'd really like to do.- I thought so!
0:18:20 > 0:18:24It's you, Lengthwidth, you're just a robotic fraud,
0:18:24 > 0:18:27- a robotic fake... - DESCENDS INTO GROWLING
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Learn to take a joke, will you?
0:18:29 > 0:18:34- I'm just mucking about.- Yeah, well, sometimes you muck about too much.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37You know what you are? You're about as much use as...
0:18:37 > 0:18:41a bicycle, but without handlebars, just a Cumberland sausage there,
0:18:41 > 0:18:43which is rubbish for steering with.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Now get back into your position!
0:18:45 > 0:18:48- Get back there!- Do I still get to meet Tracy Beaker?- No, you do not!
0:18:48 > 0:18:51- Get back into your position. - Just asking!- Back there! Back there!
0:18:51 > 0:18:54- Back there! On your chair! On your chair!- I can't...
0:18:54 > 0:18:58- Not on the bike, on the chair!- Cos I'm still half Zoltan.- On your chair!
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Right, come on, then.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04Let's answer this question - will robots ever take over the world?
0:19:04 > 0:19:08Here's a curious fact, Mr Reeves. There's a robot hall of fame.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12- Mm, tell me more.- It's in America, and honours all kinds of robots.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15They include C3P0 and R2-D2 from Star Wars,
0:19:15 > 0:19:19- and Commander Data from Star Trek. - Well, coincidentally,
0:19:19 > 0:19:23that's a coincidence, because my good friend Captain Lengthwidth
0:19:23 > 0:19:27has also opened up a robot hall of fame. Isn't that right?
0:19:27 > 0:19:30- That's exactly right. - I'm very excited.- Yes.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32- Is that it there?- There it is.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35- There it is. Do you want to have a look?- Yeah.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39- Well, that'll cost you a pound.- Just knock it off what you owe me.- OK.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43So, welcome, then, to Captain Lengthwidth's Robot Hall of Fame.
0:19:43 > 0:19:47First up, we have this incredible robot.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Calco-Man.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52And borne of mutant microwave parents,
0:19:52 > 0:19:57he can do any mathematical sum, he's a genius. Like two plus two.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59- Equals...- Four!
0:19:59 > 0:20:02- Four! Equals four.- Yeah.
0:20:02 > 0:20:03- That's just a calculator.- Yes.
0:20:03 > 0:20:07And then, take a look at this.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10- What's that, then? - The Incredible Grater.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12He... He's one tough cookie.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16Don't get too close, because he'll shred you to pieces.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18He's a nasty piece of work.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21- He's evil.- It's a cheesegrater!
0:20:21 > 0:20:22Yes.
0:20:22 > 0:20:26And finally, have a look at this.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Cumbo-Tron 4000.
0:20:28 > 0:20:33And this is a time-travelling cucumber, and if you look here,
0:20:33 > 0:20:36he's just gone back in time to 1.15pm.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Yeah, I can guess what you're going to do.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41It's a cucumber with some tin foil and a wristwatch round it.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43(Yes.)
0:20:43 > 0:20:48Captain Lengthwidth, these robots are rubbish,
0:20:48 > 0:20:50and do you know what I do with rubbish?
0:20:50 > 0:20:53I stamp on it.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00So you don't like them, then?
0:21:00 > 0:21:02No, they are rubbish.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06Now clear up this mess or I will have you arrested by Robocop!
0:21:06 > 0:21:10- Doing my head in, you.- Right, come on, let's get on with it.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12We've got to answer Jeremy's question -
0:21:12 > 0:21:14will robots ever take over the world?
0:21:14 > 0:21:18Ooh, Mr Reeves, you might not know that there's a home assistant robot.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23'Do you need help around the home?
0:21:23 > 0:21:26'Then what you need is the Home Assistant Robot.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28'Made to Japanese design specifications,
0:21:28 > 0:21:32'it will deal with all your jobs.
0:21:32 > 0:21:36'Using five cameras, six lasers and three fingers on each hand,
0:21:36 > 0:21:39'it can do your laundry, wash your dishes and put them away.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42'It can open and close doors and mop the floors.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44'It really can do everything.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49'Oh, yeah. Batteries not included.'
0:21:51 > 0:21:55Hang on, the robot's meant to do that, but it runs on batteries?
0:21:55 > 0:21:59Yes, unfortunately, the battery only lasts about 30 minutes.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02After that, you have to recharge it.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05- Sounds like Captain Lengthwidth. - LAUGHS
0:22:08 > 0:22:11Well, I have something here, Mr Reeves.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15- It's a curious fact about one of the first ever robots...- Yeah?
0:22:15 > 0:22:18..but, er, it got lost, so he won't be taking over the world, will he?
0:22:18 > 0:22:20- He got lost?- Mm.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24Yes, Mr Reeves. It was made in Japan in 1929,
0:22:24 > 0:22:27and was considered very impressive for its time.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30- What did it do? - Well, Mr Reeves, it could do loads.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34It could move its head and hands, change its facial expression,
0:22:34 > 0:22:36and even write words with a pen.
0:22:36 > 0:22:37But unfortunately,
0:22:37 > 0:22:40he was lost somewhere in Germany during the 1930s,
0:22:40 > 0:22:44and never seen again. It's very sad, isn't it?
0:22:44 > 0:22:46It is sad, but I think...
0:22:46 > 0:22:48I think I've seen this robot around here somewhere.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Something loading in H28, Mr Reeves, up there!
0:22:52 > 0:22:56THEME FROM 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Wow.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Erm, so, what's the answer, then? Will robots take over the world?
0:23:26 > 0:23:30At the moment, no, because humans still need to design
0:23:30 > 0:23:32and programme them and tell them what to do, etc.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Good. All right. There's our answer.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37(ROBOTIC VOICE) Get those findings off to Jeremy
0:23:37 > 0:23:39as quickly as you can, Miss Tea Party!
0:23:39 > 0:23:42- (ROBOTIC VOICE) Right away, Mr Reeves.- Thank you!
0:23:42 > 0:23:43BELL
0:23:43 > 0:23:47'Attention, Ministry. The working day is over.'
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Well, what a fantastic day it's been.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53It's been an absolutely knockout day, really, hasn't it? Marvellous.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Been a great day. One of the top three days of all time.
0:23:56 > 0:23:57Really? I feel that way as well.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01- Don't forget a day like this, you know?- Won't ever in the future.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Cos when the hard times come, you'll want to remember this.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06- Put a little smile on your face. - Yeah.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10- TANNOY: 'Reassessing Curious Stuff.' - 'So what have we discovered today?
0:24:10 > 0:24:12'Tatty wanted to know if dinosaurs would ever come back.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14'And we discovered
0:24:14 > 0:24:17a frozen zoo which stores DNA so we can clone animals.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20You've defrosted my bumfluffowl!
0:24:20 > 0:24:23'But we can't clone dinosaurs, so the answer to Tatty's question is,
0:24:23 > 0:24:25'dinosaurs aren't coming back.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Aaaaaw! So sad!
0:24:27 > 0:24:29'Leo asked if animals could be superheroes.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32'Through research, we found ants have superstrength,
0:24:32 > 0:24:35'cockroaches can survive for four weeks without a head,
0:24:35 > 0:24:38'and some wasps can control minds.'
0:24:38 > 0:24:39I am your master!
0:24:39 > 0:24:43'So, yes, Leo, animals do have superhero-like powers.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46'Jeremy asked if robots will ever take over the world.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49'We discovered a robot that can do your chores.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51'There's a robot hall of fame,
0:24:51 > 0:24:54'but the oldest Japanese robot isn't in there.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57'He went missing. Or did he?'
0:24:57 > 0:25:00So, Jeremy, robots may be clever, but they won't take over the world,
0:25:00 > 0:25:03as they still need humans to programme them.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05- Bye-bye, everybody. Bye-bye, team. - Bye-bye.
0:25:05 > 0:25:06TANNOY: 'End of the day.
0:25:06 > 0:25:10- 'Transportation for Mr Reeves has arrived.'- Goodbye, Mr Reeves!
0:25:10 > 0:25:15- Goodbye, Mr Reeves!- Goodbye, Mr Reeves!- Goodbye, Mr Reeves!
0:25:15 > 0:25:16Stand back, everyone!
0:25:19 > 0:25:22I'm going home for me tea.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd