0:34:50 > 0:34:57.
0:35:00 > 0:35:03PHONE RINGS
0:35:05 > 0:35:08Here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff,
0:35:08 > 0:35:11we seek to answer any question you may ask.
0:35:11 > 0:35:14No question is too ridiculous.
0:35:14 > 0:35:17On call are our highly-curious researchers.
0:35:17 > 0:35:21Lovett, Wannamaker, Frazernagle, Teaparty
0:35:21 > 0:35:24and of course, Captain Length-Width.
0:35:24 > 0:35:31The Ministry is a thinking facility that helps US to find YOU an answer.
0:35:31 > 0:35:36- TANNOY:- The working day will commence in ten seconds.
0:35:36 > 0:35:38Don't be late.
0:35:45 > 0:35:49Attention, Mr Reeves is entering the building.
0:35:49 > 0:35:54Welcome to the Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:35:54 > 0:35:59- Morning, everybody!- Good morning, Mr Reeves.- Good morning, Mr Reeves.
0:35:59 > 0:36:03- Good morning, Mr Reeves. - How are we today? Well, I trust.
0:36:03 > 0:36:05- And you, Length-Width? - Morning, Mr Reeves.
0:36:05 > 0:36:09- What is that?!- It's my T rex. - I can see what it is.
0:36:09 > 0:36:10What are you doing with it?
0:36:10 > 0:36:15I'm just making him ready for the Royal Palaeontology Society
0:36:15 > 0:36:18where I am giving a lecture on T rexs next week, thank you.
0:36:18 > 0:36:22You can't show that at the Royal Palaeontology Society.
0:36:22 > 0:36:24And why not, pray?
0:36:24 > 0:36:25Because this is T rex!
0:36:25 > 0:36:29- Tyrannosaurus rex - the king of the lizards.- Yes.
0:36:29 > 0:36:31- The king of dinosaurs.- Yes.
0:36:31 > 0:36:35They didn't have a little cape on them like that.
0:36:35 > 0:36:39They had a huge, voluminous cape.
0:36:39 > 0:36:42Yes, but this one shrunk in the wash. What's a man to do?
0:36:42 > 0:36:46I washed it on 85 and look at it now!
0:36:46 > 0:36:49You'll be the laughing stock of the Palaeontology Society.
0:36:49 > 0:36:53- You are aware of that? - But there's nothing I can do!
0:36:53 > 0:36:55- Where's his crown? - I sold it on Cash In The Attic.
0:36:55 > 0:36:57- How much did you get for it? - 30 quid.
0:36:57 > 0:37:00- What did you spend that on? - Golf clubs.- Nice.
0:37:00 > 0:37:03Mr Frazernagle, can we have the first call?
0:37:03 > 0:37:08- Call coming through, Mr Reeves. Line two!- Cheers, Nagles.
0:37:08 > 0:37:12Hello, this is Vic Reeves at the M-M-M-Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:37:12 > 0:37:14How may I help you?
0:37:14 > 0:37:17Hello, this is Nerina. Can I ask you a question?
0:37:17 > 0:37:19Do unicorns exist?
0:37:19 > 0:37:22Very good question. Thank you, Nerina.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24Thank you for your enquiry. Goodbye.
0:37:24 > 0:37:28Nerina wants to know - do unicorns exist?
0:37:32 > 0:37:34Captain Length-Width,
0:37:34 > 0:37:40I reckon you and I could catch a unicorn. What do you say?
0:37:40 > 0:37:43- Hold on one minute.- Do we have A-NNETTE?- Who's Annette?
0:37:43 > 0:37:48She's the unicorn-catching woman in my mystical magazine.
0:37:48 > 0:37:49Well, I've not heard of her.
0:37:49 > 0:37:53I'm not sure. I think we need another method.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56- How about using MIKE LUB? - Well, is Mike available?
0:37:56 > 0:38:01Actually, no. Mike's up in the North Country catching sea serpents.
0:38:01 > 0:38:06- I'll give him a bell. - Give him a call. Sound him out.
0:38:06 > 0:38:07- See if he's got a window.- OK.
0:38:07 > 0:38:12Although, I don't see what's so special about these unicorns.
0:38:12 > 0:38:14It's just a horse with a horn.
0:38:14 > 0:38:16Well, this is very interesting, Mr Reeves.
0:38:16 > 0:38:20It says here that unicorns are special creatures
0:38:20 > 0:38:22which symbolise grace and purity.
0:38:22 > 0:38:26They can only be caught by good, honest people
0:38:26 > 0:38:29and I happen to think that they are amazing.
0:38:29 > 0:38:34- But are they real?- Well, Mr Reeves, did you know that, curiously,
0:38:34 > 0:38:39in the 1930s, there was a Chinese farmer called Wang.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42- Mr Wang, hot dang! - Now, there's a thang.
0:38:42 > 0:38:45- But did this Wang own a unicorn? - Not quite, Mr Reeves.
0:38:45 > 0:38:49Wang had a 14-inch spike sticking out the back of his head
0:38:49 > 0:38:52which earned him the name The Human Unicorn.
0:38:52 > 0:38:54A human unicorn - there's a thang.
0:38:54 > 0:38:59- Extraordinary.- Stand by, Mr Reeves, in X5 down there, all right?
0:38:59 > 0:39:02- TANNOY:- Wang loading in X5.
0:39:04 > 0:39:10- CHEESY AMERICAN ACCENT:- Say, you must be Mr Wang, The Human Unicorn.
0:39:10 > 0:39:14Say, what's it like having a 14-inch horn in the back of your head?
0:39:14 > 0:39:18- AMERICAN ACCENT:- It's so uncool. It looks ridiculous.
0:39:18 > 0:39:22I feel stupid and I get a freezing head in the winter
0:39:22 > 0:39:23because I can't wear hats.
0:39:23 > 0:39:27I just don't know what to do about it.
0:39:27 > 0:39:29Hey, Mr Wang, worry no more.
0:39:29 > 0:39:33Here's Captain Length-Width with something you might like.
0:39:33 > 0:39:37Don't beat yourself up, sweetheart. Try this on for size.
0:39:37 > 0:39:40- No more parky prongs.- Thanks, boys.
0:39:40 > 0:39:44This is stylish yet practical.
0:39:44 > 0:39:47Here's something else. Captain, what have we got?
0:39:47 > 0:39:50I got something to stick on here. How about that?
0:39:50 > 0:39:53It's a big boy doughnut.
0:39:53 > 0:40:00- Wow! I had no idea that my horn had so many uses.- And that's not all!
0:40:00 > 0:40:05- For the finishing touch... - The final piece of the jigsaw...
0:40:05 > 0:40:07I don't believe it!
0:40:07 > 0:40:09Not only do I look visually gorgeous,
0:40:09 > 0:40:13but I also have a new vocation for my horn and subsequently,
0:40:13 > 0:40:15a new career selling doughnuts.
0:40:15 > 0:40:20Doughnuts - the cake that's full of laughter.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23Thanks, boys.
0:40:23 > 0:40:27This has been the happiest day of my pathetic little life.
0:40:27 > 0:40:31Touch, touch, double touch! See you in the future.
0:40:31 > 0:40:32Bye!
0:40:32 > 0:40:37- Give yourself permission to shine. - Bye-bye, baby. Bye-bye.
0:40:37 > 0:40:41- BACK TO NORMAL:- Come on. Snap out of it! Snap out of it! Snap out of it!
0:40:41 > 0:40:45- Snap out of it.- OK.- Listen, this isn't doing us any good.
0:40:45 > 0:40:50We need to find out the truth about the real horse-based,
0:40:50 > 0:40:52four-legged unicorns.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55Yeah, yeah, I agree. Get to it.
0:40:55 > 0:40:58Mr Reeves, here's a very curious fact.
0:40:58 > 0:41:01Did you know the Roman Emperor Julius Caesar
0:41:01 > 0:41:05reported seeing a real unicorn and wrote about it in his diary?
0:41:05 > 0:41:09- Did he?- Oh, yes. He said... Erm, where is it?
0:41:09 > 0:41:14"An ox-shaped stag from the middle of whose forehead between the ears
0:41:14 > 0:41:18"stands forth a single horn taller than the horns we know."
0:41:18 > 0:41:20Wait a minute. An ox with a horn?
0:41:20 > 0:41:24Sounds to me a little bit like a rhino. Just saying.
0:41:24 > 0:41:28Mr Reeves, something's coming through E11 round there.
0:41:28 > 0:41:31- TANNOY:- Julius Caesar loading in E11.
0:41:31 > 0:41:34Oh, my days! Look! A unicorn!
0:41:34 > 0:41:38- That's a rhino, sir. - Why give me jokes? I saw a unicorn.
0:41:38 > 0:41:42Oh, my gosh! Look, that is unbelievable. A walking tree!
0:41:42 > 0:41:46- No, that's a giraffe, sir. - Is it, though? That is well bad.
0:41:49 > 0:41:53Right, at the moment, we've seen no unicorns.
0:41:53 > 0:41:58Mr Frazernagle, perhaps you could please furnish me with some facts.
0:41:58 > 0:42:02Well, Mr Reeves, here's a curious little fact.
0:42:02 > 0:42:07Queen Elizabeth I supposedly owned a unicorn horn.
0:42:09 > 0:42:12Queen Elizabeth I was presented
0:42:12 > 0:42:15with what she believed to be a unicorn horn.
0:42:15 > 0:42:20- What is it?- 'Tis a unicorn horn, Your Highness.- Oh, that's well good.
0:42:20 > 0:42:24- I've always wanted one of those. - It was known as the Horn of Windsor.
0:42:24 > 0:42:25Nice.
0:42:25 > 0:42:31The horn was listed among Elizabeth's crown jewels and valued at £10,000.
0:42:31 > 0:42:34That's more than £10 million in today's money.
0:42:34 > 0:42:36Whoa! That is, like, a lot of cash.
0:42:36 > 0:42:39Captain Frobisher, who gave her the horn,
0:42:39 > 0:42:42claimed it was from a unicorn of the sea,
0:42:42 > 0:42:46but it has since transpired that the horn was actually a tusk
0:42:46 > 0:42:48belonging to a narwhal.
0:42:48 > 0:42:51- I'll have that, thank you.- Bothered?
0:42:52 > 0:42:57Well, that's incredible. I never knew that. But then again, who did?
0:42:57 > 0:43:00Right, we need to answer Nerina's question.
0:43:00 > 0:43:04Actually, Mr Reeves, there's no evidence that unicorns ever existed.
0:43:04 > 0:43:05There we are.
0:43:05 > 0:43:11No real proof that unicorns ever existed. But you know what?
0:43:11 > 0:43:16You never know what's round the corner, so keep them peeled.
0:43:16 > 0:43:20Get that information off as soon as you possibly can, Miss Teaparty.
0:43:20 > 0:43:23Right away, Mr Reeves.
0:43:23 > 0:43:28- TANNOY:- Flying Postal Services entering the Ministry.
0:43:28 > 0:43:32Please have your post prepared for the postal personnel upon arrival.
0:43:34 > 0:43:38Postal person descending. Postal person descending.
0:43:38 > 0:43:41Please stand back.
0:43:41 > 0:43:45Postal Service reaching its destination in three, two, one.
0:43:53 > 0:43:56Postal Services departing. Stand clear.
0:43:57 > 0:43:59Post will be delivered in
0:43:59 > 0:44:02approximately 2 minutes and 32 seconds.
0:44:06 > 0:44:09Thank you for using Flying Postal Services.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12Withdraw, my soaring envoy of the atmosphere.
0:44:12 > 0:44:16Right, Frazernagle, who's on the lines?
0:44:16 > 0:44:19There's a call on line three. I'll put you through now.
0:44:19 > 0:44:22Oh, good. My favourite line.
0:44:22 > 0:44:26Hello, this is Vic Reeves of the Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:44:26 > 0:44:27How may I help you?
0:44:27 > 0:44:30Hi, Mr Reeves. This is Fathiah.
0:44:30 > 0:44:33I just wanted to know what animal has 1,000 eyes?
0:44:33 > 0:44:38Very good question, Fathiah. Thank you very much. Goodbye.
0:44:38 > 0:44:42Yes, goodbye. Yes, goodbye. Yes, goodbye.
0:44:42 > 0:44:46Fathiah wants to know what creature has 1,000 eyes?
0:44:46 > 0:44:47Very good question.
0:44:51 > 0:44:54- Captain Length-Width?- Yes?
0:44:54 > 0:44:57You have the kind of eyes that could drive a man to despair,
0:44:57 > 0:45:03penetrate his very soul and turn him to dust.
0:45:03 > 0:45:05Yes, that's what my optician said.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08- Really?- He said there's no prescription,
0:45:08 > 0:45:11the situation just has to be managed.
0:45:11 > 0:45:15- W-a-a-a-h!- Sorry. So sorry. - Let's get on with this question.
0:45:15 > 0:45:17What creature has 1,000 eyes?
0:45:17 > 0:45:19Did you know, Mr Reeves,
0:45:19 > 0:45:22frogs use their eyes for more than just seeing?
0:45:22 > 0:45:26- What, they use them for looking, as well?- BOTH: Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:45:26 > 0:45:29Right at the top of his game.
0:45:30 > 0:45:36It will come as no surprise that normal frogs eat quite normally.
0:45:36 > 0:45:38Pass the salt, dear.
0:45:38 > 0:45:42However, the giant frog has a slightly different approach
0:45:42 > 0:45:44to eating meals.
0:45:46 > 0:45:48Mmm, yummy!
0:45:48 > 0:45:53Yes, that's right. He eats with his eyes.
0:45:54 > 0:45:56Well, that's amazing.
0:45:56 > 0:46:00So, it just smacks its head into its food and eats through its eyes.
0:46:00 > 0:46:03It doesn't actually work like that, Mr Reeves.
0:46:03 > 0:46:07You see, the frog uses his eyes to push food down
0:46:07 > 0:46:11into his froggy stomach. It's a way of swallowing.
0:46:11 > 0:46:14I get that. Let's crack on with this question.
0:46:14 > 0:46:18- We need to find a thousand-eyed creature.- Here's a curious eye fact.
0:46:18 > 0:46:25- Did you know, all people with blue eyes are related?- Rubbish.
0:46:25 > 0:46:29It's not, Mr Reeves. Experts think everyone who has blue eyes
0:46:29 > 0:46:34have one common ancestor who lived around 10,000 years ago,
0:46:34 > 0:46:37which would make all blue-eyed people related.
0:46:37 > 0:46:40Well, I'm not having that. I've got blue eyes.
0:46:40 > 0:46:43- So have I.- Yes, so has he.
0:46:43 > 0:46:45And there's no way,
0:46:45 > 0:46:49there's no way, that I'm related to that sausage-faced fool.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52- Hey! Now, that's enough. - Now, you look here.
0:46:52 > 0:46:57- No, you look here.- No, you look here. - No, I won't look here.
0:46:57 > 0:47:01OK, let's not settle this dispute in the privacy of our own home.
0:47:01 > 0:47:05- Let's do it like any decent person. - In public on national television.
0:47:05 > 0:47:09- BOTH: On The Jeremy Kyle Show. - No, Mr Reeves! Don't!
0:47:09 > 0:47:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:47:12 > 0:47:16Welcome to The Jeremy Kyle Show. I'm Jeremy Kyle.
0:47:16 > 0:47:20Today, on The Jeremy Kyle Show, I'm Jeremy Kyle. Jeremy Kyle.
0:47:20 > 0:47:23Are you saying that YOU are not related to him?
0:47:23 > 0:47:25That's exactly what I'm trying to say.
0:47:25 > 0:47:29- Rubbish.- Oh, shut up!- You shut up!
0:47:29 > 0:47:33- Boo!- You come on here thinking you're the big man,
0:47:33 > 0:47:35but, sunshine, you're a nobody.
0:47:35 > 0:47:38- Yeah, you're a nobody. - You're a nobody.
0:47:38 > 0:47:41- You're a nobody.- Shut up! - Yeah, shut up!- Shut up, you.
0:47:41 > 0:47:45And how will you feel when you find out that not only
0:47:45 > 0:47:50is he your brother, but also, he's been stealing your shoes.
0:47:50 > 0:47:55- Eh?- And been taking long country walks with your wife.- What?
0:47:55 > 0:47:57I can't believe it. That is shocking.
0:47:57 > 0:48:02- I have not been out with his wife! - I knew it! I knew it!
0:48:02 > 0:48:05- You're not even married!- Come back!
0:48:05 > 0:48:08Shut up! Sit down!
0:48:08 > 0:48:11- He's not even married. - That's neither here nor there.
0:48:11 > 0:48:14Do you know what? I'm here to help you.
0:48:14 > 0:48:18I've got people that'll help you, but you have to want it.
0:48:18 > 0:48:21- OK?- Yeah.- All right?- I do want it. - They will help you.
0:48:21 > 0:48:24I don't care about you two, actually.
0:48:24 > 0:48:29I DO care about the kids. Let's get the DNA results. I'm Jeremy Kyle.
0:48:29 > 0:48:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:48:34 > 0:48:36Results show that you...
0:48:41 > 0:48:43..Anthony...
0:48:43 > 0:48:45Hang on a minute. I'm not Anthony.
0:48:45 > 0:48:48- What?- I'm not Anthony.
0:48:48 > 0:48:51- Who then?- Vic Reeves from the Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:48:51 > 0:48:53I'm not Anthony.
0:48:55 > 0:48:56Oh, right. OK.
0:48:58 > 0:49:01- What's happened?- You're the wrong...
0:49:01 > 0:49:07- Wrong couple?- The wrong couple, yeah. - On the wrong show.- Come on, boys.
0:49:09 > 0:49:13- Bit embarrassing, isn't it? - Yeah, a little embarrassing.
0:49:16 > 0:49:19- We can work through this.- I know.
0:49:19 > 0:49:22- I'll stay off the sweets. - In the meantime...
0:49:22 > 0:49:24HE HONKS HIS NOSE
0:49:24 > 0:49:27..we need to find a creature with 1,000 eyes.
0:49:30 > 0:49:33Er, well, Mr Reeves, I don't know about 1,000 eyes,
0:49:33 > 0:49:37but there is something here about a mythical one-eyed giant
0:49:37 > 0:49:39called a cyclops.
0:49:39 > 0:49:43Well, that's good, but it's only got one eye and it's mythical.
0:49:43 > 0:49:45I want 1,000 eyes! Get with it!
0:49:45 > 0:49:50I've got it, Mr Reeves. How's this for a curious eye fact?
0:49:50 > 0:49:54Did you know, a fruit fly has two eyes on the side of its head,
0:49:54 > 0:49:57but each eye is split into 800 smaller eyes
0:49:57 > 0:50:02which I do believe totals well over 1,000 eyes.
0:50:02 > 0:50:03I thank you.
0:50:03 > 0:50:08Well over 1,000 eyes - fantastic! Is it better to have loads of eyes
0:50:08 > 0:50:11or one great big eye like the cyclops?
0:50:11 > 0:50:14Mr Reeves, something's coming through X5 in G1 down here.
0:50:14 > 0:50:17TANNOY: Multiple eyes loading.
0:50:17 > 0:50:20Welcome to Vic's staring competition.
0:50:20 > 0:50:23In the beige corner, all the way from Croydon,
0:50:23 > 0:50:27it's Jim the cyclops!
0:50:27 > 0:50:32And in the turquoise corner, all the way from the banana
0:50:32 > 0:50:40he'd been eating after being sick on, it's Colin the fruit fly!
0:50:41 > 0:50:44Come together. Right, you both know the rules.
0:50:44 > 0:50:47First one to blink is disqualified. Ready?
0:50:47 > 0:50:52OK, after three. Three, two, one, stare at each other.
0:50:52 > 0:50:56Wow! Look at you with your one eye! I've got loads of eyes.
0:50:56 > 0:50:58You are going down, my friend!
0:51:01 > 0:51:03And the winner is
0:51:03 > 0:51:09Jim the cyclops!
0:51:12 > 0:51:15- Didn't see that coming, did she? - Didn't at all.
0:51:15 > 0:51:20Mr Reeves, we really do need to get this question answered.
0:51:20 > 0:51:24Yes, yes. Right, Mr Lovett, yes. Well, right.
0:51:24 > 0:51:26Us, here, at the Ministry of Curious Stuff,
0:51:26 > 0:51:32are not really aware of a creature with exactly 1,000 eyes, although,
0:51:32 > 0:51:34the fruit fly has, or had,
0:51:34 > 0:51:371,600 eyes, so that's going to have to do.
0:51:37 > 0:51:41Will you get those findings off to Fathiah as quickly as possible,
0:51:41 > 0:51:43Miss Dinnerparty.
0:51:43 > 0:51:46- Tea.- Yes.
0:51:46 > 0:51:48BEEPING
0:51:48 > 0:51:53TANNOY: Flying Postal Services has arrived.
0:51:53 > 0:51:57Post prepared for postal personnel.
0:51:57 > 0:52:00Thank you for using Flying Postal Services -
0:52:00 > 0:52:03your number one aerial courier.
0:52:04 > 0:52:07Retreat, wind-borne emissary. Er, Mr Frazernagle,
0:52:07 > 0:52:10have we got time for one final question?
0:52:10 > 0:52:13One just coming through, Mr Reeves, sir. Line three.
0:52:13 > 0:52:15PHONE RINGS
0:52:15 > 0:52:19Hello, this is Vic Reeves at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:52:19 > 0:52:21How may I be of assistance to you?
0:52:21 > 0:52:25Erm, hi. This is Marnie and I was wondering,
0:52:25 > 0:52:27can people travel through time?
0:52:27 > 0:52:32Very good question, Marnie. Thank you for your enquiries. Goodbye.
0:52:32 > 0:52:35Marnie wants to know - can people travel through time?
0:52:38 > 0:52:41Very good question. Very, very good question.
0:52:41 > 0:52:44Captain Length-Width, can you travel through time?
0:52:44 > 0:52:49Yes, I can travel through time. Let me give you a demonstration.
0:52:49 > 0:52:52- Ready?- Yes.- Here we go.
0:52:52 > 0:52:56Travelling through time by Captain Norman Length-Width.
0:52:56 > 0:52:59There, did it. Travelled three seconds in time.
0:52:59 > 0:53:03- What, just then?- Yes, I just did it. Look.
0:53:03 > 0:53:06I just travelled another second through time.
0:53:07 > 0:53:09And another second.
0:53:09 > 0:53:12I just keep travelling through time.
0:53:12 > 0:53:15Two words - two words for you.
0:53:15 > 0:53:16What?
0:53:16 > 0:53:17Par-snip.
0:53:17 > 0:53:19Don't call me a parsnip!
0:53:19 > 0:53:20You are.
0:53:20 > 0:53:23- There's no need!. - You're just a parsnip.
0:53:23 > 0:53:27All you did then was let time pass. You just lived a bit longer.
0:53:27 > 0:53:30Well, I don't know what it is then!
0:53:30 > 0:53:32Well, let's find out, shall we?
0:53:32 > 0:53:34Give me some time travelling facts!
0:53:34 > 0:53:39I've got it, Mr Reeves! I know where you could time travel.
0:53:39 > 0:53:41Do tell!
0:53:42 > 0:53:46When one side of the world is in daytime, the other is in night.
0:53:46 > 0:53:50This creates different time zones around the world.
0:53:50 > 0:53:53So, all you need to travel through time is one of these.
0:53:53 > 0:53:57Oh-ooooh!
0:53:57 > 0:54:00So, if you had your birthday in Australia,
0:54:00 > 0:54:06then flew to Hawaii, it would be your birthday all over again,
0:54:06 > 0:54:10as Hawaii's time zone is a day behind Australia.
0:54:10 > 0:54:12Happy birthday...again!
0:54:12 > 0:54:16You'd have gone back in time, and you'd get twice as much of this!
0:54:18 > 0:54:19Frazernagle, it's good...
0:54:19 > 0:54:25It's good, but it's not real time travel, is it? Come on!
0:54:25 > 0:54:27I do apologise.
0:54:27 > 0:54:32Here's a curious fact, Mr Reeves. In 2005, a chap named Amal
0:54:32 > 0:54:36organised a meeting for time travellers, so that people
0:54:36 > 0:54:38from all different ages could come together
0:54:38 > 0:54:40and discuss time travel.
0:54:40 > 0:54:44That's interesting, and also curious.
0:54:44 > 0:54:46Brace yourselves!
0:54:46 > 0:54:49RUMBLING
0:54:49 > 0:54:51Stations, everyone!
0:55:01 > 0:55:05RADIO PLAYS
0:55:05 > 0:55:06- Hello.- Hello.
0:55:06 > 0:55:10Are you here for the party thing?
0:55:10 > 0:55:13Yes. It's just the two of us at the moment.
0:55:13 > 0:55:15Oh, OK.
0:55:17 > 0:55:22Have some food. It's there to be eaten. Don't let me eat it all.
0:55:22 > 0:55:24Yeah! Thanks, I will.
0:55:25 > 0:55:29I think the crisps are cheese and onion actually.
0:55:31 > 0:55:35- So, where are you from? - Tudor times.
0:55:35 > 0:55:371541, to be precise.
0:55:37 > 0:55:40- Oh, nice.- Yes, it is actually, yes.
0:55:40 > 0:55:43The toilets can be a bit of a nightmare though.
0:55:43 > 0:55:46ROBOT LAUGHS
0:55:47 > 0:55:49How about you?
0:55:49 > 0:55:52- Um, 2083.- Right, right.
0:55:52 > 0:55:55I've heard it's really modern there.
0:55:57 > 0:56:00So, what do you do?
0:56:00 > 0:56:02I'm a king.
0:56:02 > 0:56:04That sort of thing.
0:56:04 > 0:56:06How about you?
0:56:06 > 0:56:08I'm a robot.
0:56:08 > 0:56:12Oh, right, OK. Good for you, good for you. What sort of robot?
0:56:12 > 0:56:14Ah, yeah...
0:56:14 > 0:56:17I'm an evil robot.
0:56:22 > 0:56:25Oh, that's awkward.
0:56:27 > 0:56:32Well, it wasn't quite like that. Not one time traveller turned up.
0:56:32 > 0:56:34Come on, team. Let's stay on track.
0:56:34 > 0:56:38We've got to answer the question - can we travel through time?
0:56:38 > 0:56:41Here's a curious fact for you, Mr Reeves.
0:56:41 > 0:56:45According to top scientist Stephen Hawking,
0:56:45 > 0:56:47all we need is a wormhole.
0:56:47 > 0:56:49- A worm what?- A wormhole.- A wormhole?
0:56:49 > 0:56:54He says it's a time tunnel in space that leads to other dimensions.
0:56:54 > 0:56:59They are very, very tiny, these wormholes, but in theory,
0:56:59 > 0:57:02if we could find one,
0:57:02 > 0:57:04and we could get into one,
0:57:04 > 0:57:07maybe, just maybe...
0:57:07 > 0:57:09we could time travel.
0:57:09 > 0:57:11Just imagine...
0:57:11 > 0:57:17if we had a wormhole here in the ministry.
0:57:17 > 0:57:19Something's going on in Z14!
0:57:19 > 0:57:21TANNOY: Wormhole loading in Z14.
0:57:21 > 0:57:25Woo-hoo! I'm Gavin Reynolds and I'm a worm.
0:57:25 > 0:57:27This here is my wormhole.
0:57:27 > 0:57:29Who wants some?
0:57:29 > 0:57:31Me please, Mr Gavin Reynolds. Me, me!
0:57:31 > 0:57:35I'd love to do some time travelling.
0:57:35 > 0:57:38All right, hop in, you Muppet! We're going back in time.
0:57:38 > 0:57:41Hold on, what is that?
0:57:41 > 0:57:42It's my wormhole.
0:57:42 > 0:57:45- Come on! - I'm not getting in there!
0:57:45 > 0:57:47Suit yourself.
0:57:47 > 0:57:49Ta-ra!
0:57:52 > 0:57:55Well, it's a shame that didn't work out.
0:57:55 > 0:57:57- Mmm.- Mr Reeves, listen...
0:57:57 > 0:57:59There's a wormhole in my garden.
0:57:59 > 0:58:01- What?!- Yes, yes.
0:58:01 > 0:58:03- There's thousands of them. - Tell no-one.
0:58:03 > 0:58:06We keep this between ourselves, right?
0:58:06 > 0:58:10Now, listen. We dig them up and we sell them.
0:58:10 > 0:58:12We'll become rich. Rich!
0:58:12 > 0:58:14Rich beyond our wildest dreams.
0:58:14 > 0:58:18Wait, wait, wait. Who are we going to sell them to?
0:58:18 > 0:58:23This Stephen Hawking character, he sounds like he might be interested.
0:58:23 > 0:58:27Good idea! With the money we make, we can build a time machine.
0:58:27 > 0:58:28Yes!
0:58:28 > 0:58:29Yes...
0:58:29 > 0:58:32How are we going to build it?
0:58:32 > 0:58:34- I don't know.- We'll need, um...
0:58:34 > 0:58:36- paint...- Nails...
0:58:36 > 0:58:39Washing machine parts.
0:58:39 > 0:58:41Maybe that'll do. I don't know.
0:58:41 > 0:58:45CHEESY MUSIC STARTS
0:58:48 > 0:58:53# We wish we had a time machine
0:58:53 > 0:58:56# But we don't know where to begin
0:58:57 > 0:59:01# Maybe make it out of shoeboxes
0:59:01 > 0:59:04# Sellotape and some pigskin
0:59:05 > 0:59:08# A coat hanger for an aerial
0:59:08 > 0:59:12# And a Transit steering wheel
0:59:12 > 0:59:14# Some egg boxes
0:59:14 > 0:59:17# A peacock's feather
0:59:17 > 0:59:20# And a bag of orange peel
0:59:23 > 0:59:26# We get into our time machine
0:59:26 > 0:59:30# And we travel to the past
0:59:30 > 0:59:35# I harness the power of dinosaurs
0:59:35 > 0:59:38# And make friends with some cowboys
0:59:38 > 0:59:42# I'd bury Queen Victoria
0:59:42 > 0:59:47# I'd turn the pyramids upside down
0:59:47 > 0:59:50- BOTH:- # We wish we had a time machine
0:59:50 > 0:59:54# But we don't know where to begin. #
0:59:54 > 0:59:56No way.
0:59:56 > 1:00:01- Mr Reeves, let's wrap this question up now, please.- Good idea, Lovett!
1:00:01 > 1:00:04What's the answer to the question, can we travel through time?
1:00:04 > 1:00:07Although it's not possible right now,
1:00:07 > 1:00:11top scientists claim that in the future, yes,
1:00:11 > 1:00:14we may be able to.
1:00:14 > 1:00:19So, can you get those findings off pronto, please, Miss Teaparty?
1:00:19 > 1:00:21Right away, Mr Reeves.
1:00:21 > 1:00:25TANNOY: Attention, ministry. The working day is over.
1:00:25 > 1:00:28Well done, team. A very, very good day.
1:00:28 > 1:00:31Excellent, excellent fact-finding today.
1:00:31 > 1:00:34TANNOY: Reassessing curious stuff.
1:00:34 > 1:00:38So, what have we discovered today? Nerina asked if unicorns exist.
1:00:38 > 1:00:40We met Wang, the human unicorn.
1:00:40 > 1:00:44This has been the happiest day of my pathetic little life.
1:00:44 > 1:00:47Julius Caesar claimed to have seen a unicorn.
1:00:47 > 1:00:49Look, a unicorn!
1:00:49 > 1:00:52No, that's a rhino, sir.
1:00:52 > 1:00:56But, there's no evidence that they exist, so keep your eyes peeled!
1:00:56 > 1:00:59Fathiah asked what creature has 1,000 eyes.
1:00:59 > 1:01:03All people with blue eyes are distant relations.
1:01:03 > 1:01:05- Oh, shut up!- You shut up!
1:01:05 > 1:01:08And that some frogs use their eyes for eating.
1:01:08 > 1:01:13There is a creature with over 1,000 eyes - the fruit fly has 1,600 eyes.
1:01:14 > 1:01:17But a one-eyed cyclops is stronger.
1:01:17 > 1:01:20Marnie wanted to know if people can travel through time.
1:01:20 > 1:01:25You can have your birthday twice if you travel through time zones,
1:01:25 > 1:01:27but to travel through time properly
1:01:27 > 1:01:30you need to find something called a wormhole.
1:01:30 > 1:01:32Hop in, you Muppet!
1:01:32 > 1:01:34We're going back in time.
1:01:34 > 1:01:38So, in theory, time travel just might be possible.
1:01:38 > 1:01:40- No way.- OK, team!
1:01:40 > 1:01:43Good work. Thank you and goodbye.
1:01:43 > 1:01:46TANNOY: Transport ready for Mr Reeves.
1:01:46 > 1:01:48- Bye, Mr Reeves.- Bye, Mr Reeves. - Bye, Mr Reeves!
1:01:48 > 1:01:50Bye, Mr Reeves!
1:01:52 > 1:01:53Stand back, everyone.
1:01:55 > 1:01:59I'm going home for my tea.
1:02:11 > 1:02:15Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
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