Episode 4

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1:09:50 > 1:09:57.

1:10:02 > 1:10:03PHONE RINGS

1:10:06 > 1:10:09Here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff,

1:10:09 > 1:10:12we seek to answer any question you may ask.

1:10:12 > 1:10:14No question is too ridiculous.

1:10:14 > 1:10:17On call are our highly-curious researchers -

1:10:17 > 1:10:19Lovett, Wannamaker,

1:10:19 > 1:10:21Frazernagle, Teaparty

1:10:21 > 1:10:24and, of course, Captain Length-Width.

1:10:24 > 1:10:27The Ministry is a thinking facility

1:10:27 > 1:10:31that helps us to find you an answer.

1:10:31 > 1:10:34LOUDSPEAKER: 'The working day will commence in ten seconds.'

1:10:37 > 1:10:38'Don't be late.'

1:10:45 > 1:10:49Attention, Mr Reeves is entering the building.

1:10:51 > 1:10:54Welcome to the Ministry of Curious Stuff.

1:10:54 > 1:10:56Morning, everybody!

1:10:56 > 1:11:01- Morning, Mr Reeves.- Good morning, Mr Reeves.- Good morning, Mr Reeves.

1:11:01 > 1:11:05Captain Length-Width, looking rather pensive there.

1:11:05 > 1:11:07Yes, yes, I'm awaiting a phone call.

1:11:07 > 1:11:12What I've done is, I've invented this new type of toilet for Dragons' Den

1:11:12 > 1:11:14and Bannatyne and the gang are over there now

1:11:14 > 1:11:17trying it out. I'm waiting for a phone call from them to see

1:11:17 > 1:11:19if they're going to invest in it.

1:11:19 > 1:11:21- A new type of toilet?- Yes!

1:11:21 > 1:11:23BOTH: Fingers crossed!

1:11:23 > 1:11:26- Have you got any other inventions? - Yes, of course, yes, yes.

1:11:26 > 1:11:28That's just the tip of the iceberg.

1:11:28 > 1:11:31I've invented this new mac here. Try it on.

1:11:31 > 1:11:32- It's a raincoat?- Yes.

1:11:32 > 1:11:36And I've taken into account global warming, when there'll be less rain,

1:11:36 > 1:11:39and so you need less plastic for your mac. Real money-saver.

1:11:39 > 1:11:42- Have you got a hat for it? - Of course. I'm not an idiot.

1:11:42 > 1:11:43Here we go.

1:11:43 > 1:11:44ECHOING THUD

1:11:44 > 1:11:47What was that? Did you hear that?

1:11:47 > 1:11:50Yes, I'd forgotten I'd wired this up.

1:11:50 > 1:11:52- What, that?- Mmm. - What have you wired it up to?

1:11:52 > 1:11:54The toilet.

1:11:55 > 1:11:58- Quick! Hide the evidence! - Give me that.

1:12:02 > 1:12:04- Sshh!- Sshh! Sshh!- Sshh!

1:12:05 > 1:12:07Mr Frazernagle, any calls coming through?

1:12:07 > 1:12:10Loads of calls, Mr Reeves.

1:12:10 > 1:12:14- I've got an absolutely brilliant question on line three.- Thank you!

1:12:14 > 1:12:19- PHONE RINGS - Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.

1:12:19 > 1:12:21How might I help?

1:12:21 > 1:12:24Hello, my name is Tanitia and I just wanted to ask you

1:12:24 > 1:12:27a quick question - can I avoid bedtime?

1:12:27 > 1:12:31Thank you, Tanitia, thank you. Goodbye.

1:12:31 > 1:12:34Tanitia wants to know, can she avoid bedtime?

1:12:34 > 1:12:36Captain Length-Width, what do you suggest?

1:12:36 > 1:12:39What I do is, I hide my mother in the shed,

1:12:39 > 1:12:42so that I can stay up really late and watch all the programmes

1:12:42 > 1:12:46that I want to, like EastEnders and the Antiques Roadshow.

1:12:46 > 1:12:47- Very good.- What do you do?

1:12:47 > 1:12:51Well, I simply put a bucket on my mum's head and she calms right down,

1:12:51 > 1:12:54goes really quiet, into a kind of benign torpor.

1:12:54 > 1:12:59Wonderfully peaceful. Then, I go outside and HOWL at the moon!

1:13:00 > 1:13:02Mr Lovett, what have you got?

1:13:02 > 1:13:05Well, Mr Reeves, I think dolphins have figured this one out.

1:13:08 > 1:13:11It's the middle of the night and, believe it or not,

1:13:11 > 1:13:15this bottlenose dolphin is actually asleep.

1:13:15 > 1:13:19Whilst one half of the brain gets some kip, the other half

1:13:19 > 1:13:22is wide awake, keeping an eye out for predators.

1:13:22 > 1:13:25I wonder what he's dreaming about?

1:13:25 > 1:13:28AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: I'm dreaming you'll keep the noise down, mate!

1:13:28 > 1:13:30It's the middle of the night!

1:13:30 > 1:13:31Sorry!

1:13:31 > 1:13:34Some people! I don't know... No manners.

1:13:40 > 1:13:43Mr Reeves, what are you doing?

1:13:43 > 1:13:47Well, funnily enough, I have the same skills as the dolphin.

1:13:47 > 1:13:49I'm doing it right now.

1:13:49 > 1:13:52It means I can have a snooze and I can also

1:13:52 > 1:13:54go down the park and look for conkers.

1:13:54 > 1:13:58That's total codswallop, Mr Reeves! You can't do it.

1:13:58 > 1:13:59ALARM BLARES

1:13:59 > 1:14:01I can, I'm doing it now.

1:14:01 > 1:14:05Are you going to do that for the rest of the day, Mr Reeves?

1:14:05 > 1:14:08- I haven't decided yet. - Miss Wannamaker?

1:14:08 > 1:14:11Oomph! Blimey! Just what I needed.

1:14:11 > 1:14:14Whoof! A-ha! Miss Wannamaker, you do have abnormally long arms.

1:14:14 > 1:14:18Right, come on! Back to the question in question.

1:14:18 > 1:14:21Tanitia wants to know, "Can I have avoid bedtime?"

1:14:28 > 1:14:30Here's a curious fact, Mr Reeves. I'm not

1:14:30 > 1:14:33altogether sure that you'd WANT to miss bedtime.

1:14:33 > 1:14:35Whatever do you mean, Teaparty?

1:14:35 > 1:14:37Well, after missing just one night's sleep,

1:14:37 > 1:14:39you can be ever so clumsy the next day.

1:14:39 > 1:14:41HE SINGS TO HIMSELF

1:14:41 > 1:14:42Argh!

1:14:46 > 1:14:49And after three nights without sleeping, you can start

1:14:49 > 1:14:52hallucinating - seeing things that aren't there.

1:14:52 > 1:14:56Hey, a gorilla's chasing me. He's after my bananas.

1:14:56 > 1:15:00Length-Width, when was the last time you had a decent night's sleep?

1:15:00 > 1:15:03Eh, last night. I slept like a baby.

1:15:03 > 1:15:08- You mean, you wore a nappy and cried all night? - THEY CACKLE

1:15:08 > 1:15:11Yes, yes, I did. It's strange, isn't it?

1:15:12 > 1:15:13Mr Reeves!

1:15:13 > 1:15:15CRASHING

1:15:15 > 1:15:17Ooh, here's another curious fact for you.

1:15:17 > 1:15:19In the 1940s, a man called

1:15:19 > 1:15:22Al Herpin baffled the medical profession.

1:15:22 > 1:15:26He was known as "The Man Who Never Slept",

1:15:26 > 1:15:29because, well, he didn't sleep for ten whole years.

1:15:29 > 1:15:32- Ten years?- Mr Reeves,

1:15:32 > 1:15:35there's something coming through B7, behind you.

1:15:35 > 1:15:38TANNOY: 'Wide-awake gent loading in B7.'

1:15:38 > 1:15:39DRUM ROLL

1:15:39 > 1:15:41And here he is. You must be Al Herpin,

1:15:41 > 1:15:44"The Man Who Never Slept".

1:15:44 > 1:15:47AMERICAN ACCENT: That is correct, sir.

1:15:47 > 1:15:48How does that work, then?

1:15:48 > 1:15:53Well, it's just something I've been bequeathed with.

1:15:53 > 1:15:56I just don't need to get no shut-eye.

1:15:56 > 1:16:01No, sir, I is Al Herpin, "The Man Who Never Slept".

1:16:01 > 1:16:02YAWNS

1:16:02 > 1:16:05"The Man Who Never Slept".

1:16:05 > 1:16:09- Do you even own a bed? - No, sir, Mr Reeves, sir,

1:16:09 > 1:16:12I do not own a bed. Nor do I own a hammock,

1:16:12 > 1:16:17nor a chaise longue or a mattress, or any other sleeping implement.

1:16:17 > 1:16:22AL'S VOICE FADES, BUT DRONES ON

1:16:22 > 1:16:26..which defies all scientific knowledge of the necessity of sleep.

1:16:26 > 1:16:28< SNORING

1:16:28 > 1:16:32Oh, it appears everybody here

1:16:32 > 1:16:34has boarded the first train to Sleepytown.

1:16:34 > 1:16:36Mwah!!

1:16:36 > 1:16:39Oh, I just had a horrible dream,

1:16:39 > 1:16:42an awful dream that the world's dullest man

1:16:42 > 1:16:44had bored everyone to sleep.

1:16:44 > 1:16:45Argh!

1:16:45 > 1:16:47I don't need to get on that train to Sleepytown.

1:16:47 > 1:16:50I just keep on going and going.

1:16:50 > 1:16:53It wasn't a dream. Al Herpin, get out of there.

1:16:53 > 1:16:58- I'm going. I just keep on going. - That way, turn that way. Keep going.

1:16:58 > 1:17:00That way. Keep going.

1:17:00 > 1:17:02I just keep on going.

1:17:02 > 1:17:04That's it, keep on going.

1:17:04 > 1:17:08"The Man Who Never Slept".

1:17:10 > 1:17:12- Come on, you people! - RATTLING

1:17:12 > 1:17:15Wakey, wake-hee!!

1:17:16 > 1:17:19We've got to answer Tanitia's question. Come on!

1:17:19 > 1:17:22"Can I avoid bedtime?"

1:17:22 > 1:17:26Yes, Mr Reeves, you can avoid bedtime if, like Al Herpin,

1:17:26 > 1:17:28you never sleep, but for everyone else,

1:17:28 > 1:17:31bedtime is a good idea. It recharges our batteries

1:17:31 > 1:17:32and helps us stay healthy.

1:17:32 > 1:17:35So there we are, we have our answer.

1:17:35 > 1:17:38We at the Ministry wholeheartedly say,

1:17:38 > 1:17:41don't avoid bedtime, because you really do need your sleep.

1:17:41 > 1:17:43Can you get that information

1:17:43 > 1:17:45off to Tanitia, please, Miss Teaparty.

1:17:45 > 1:17:48- Right away, Mr Reeves.- Thank you.

1:17:48 > 1:17:50TANNOY: 'Attention, attention!

1:17:50 > 1:17:53'Flying postal services entering the Ministry.

1:17:55 > 1:17:59'Please have your post prepared for the postal personnel, upon arriving.

1:18:01 > 1:18:03'Postalperson descending.

1:18:03 > 1:18:06'Postalperson descending.

1:18:06 > 1:18:10'Please stand back. Postal service reaching its destination

1:18:10 > 1:18:12'in three...two...one.'

1:18:14 > 1:18:20MUSIC: Rule Britannia

1:18:20 > 1:18:23'Postal services departing. Stand clear.

1:18:23 > 1:18:26'Post will be delivered in approximately

1:18:26 > 1:18:29'two minutes and 32 seconds.

1:18:33 > 1:18:36'Thank you for using flying postal services.'

1:18:36 > 1:18:41Take flight, noble woman of the postal firmament.

1:18:41 > 1:18:45Right, Frazernagle, come on! Let's have another question.

1:18:45 > 1:18:49- Yep, line one, I'll put them through now.- Oh, good.

1:18:49 > 1:18:50PHONE RINGS

1:18:50 > 1:18:54Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.

1:18:54 > 1:18:56How may I be of assistance to you?

1:18:56 > 1:19:00Hi, my name is Jack and my question is,

1:19:00 > 1:19:01what's the smartest animal?

1:19:01 > 1:19:04Well, a very good question. I thank you for your interest.

1:19:04 > 1:19:06Goodbye.

1:19:06 > 1:19:11What is the world's smartest animal? Very good question.

1:19:11 > 1:19:12Any ideas, Length-Width?

1:19:12 > 1:19:16Erm, well, yes. I think the world's smartest animal is the penguin.

1:19:16 > 1:19:18- Penguin.- Yes.- Why's that?

1:19:18 > 1:19:22They dress very smartly. They look like waiters, but they're not clever.

1:19:22 > 1:19:29- Why?- They live in the Antarctic. Nothing clever could ever live there.

1:19:29 > 1:19:30Lovett, any ideas?

1:19:30 > 1:19:33Here's a curious fact, Mr Reeves.

1:19:33 > 1:19:37Did you know the jumping spider - very clever spider, indeed -

1:19:37 > 1:19:40can lure other spiders from their webs and then eat them.

1:19:40 > 1:19:42It tricks them then. How does it do that?

1:19:42 > 1:19:46Well, they plucks a rhythm on the corner of another spider's web,

1:19:46 > 1:19:48mimicking a trapped bug or insect.

1:19:48 > 1:19:51When the other spider comes out to see what it's caught,

1:19:51 > 1:19:52the jumping spider pounces!

1:19:52 > 1:19:56So, it plucks a rhythm to attract its food?

1:19:56 > 1:20:00No big deal there, that's what he does to catch his dinner. Isn't it?

1:20:00 > 1:20:02Yes, it's true. Just watch me

1:20:02 > 1:20:03catch this pot of stew

1:20:03 > 1:20:06by playing a little tune on my double bass.

1:20:06 > 1:20:11- Go for it, Captain. - Thank you, here we go, jazz lovers!

1:20:11 > 1:20:14PLAYS TUNE

1:20:14 > 1:20:16It's not moving.

1:20:20 > 1:20:22Pot don't dig your swing, man.

1:20:22 > 1:20:25It's a Lancashire hotpot. It should like this.

1:20:25 > 1:20:31- Come on, baby... Come to daddy. - Lay some hot potatoes on that pot.

1:20:31 > 1:20:32Well, I'm embarrassed.

1:20:32 > 1:20:37That Lancashire hotpot wouldn't know good jazz

1:20:37 > 1:20:38if it bit it on the bum.

1:20:38 > 1:20:42Exactly. Now, come on, let's get back to the question.

1:20:42 > 1:20:44What is the world's smartest animal.

1:20:51 > 1:20:52Well, Mr Reeves,

1:20:52 > 1:20:55there's the amazing story of the grey parrot.

1:20:55 > 1:20:56A what? A grey parrot.

1:20:56 > 1:20:59What's so amazing about a grey parrot?

1:20:59 > 1:21:05Not only can it copy words, it can also learn their meanings.

1:21:08 > 1:21:11A grey parrot from Japan was lost by his owner,

1:21:11 > 1:21:15wounded and sent to a veterinary hospital.

1:21:15 > 1:21:17How is he, doctor?

1:21:17 > 1:21:19I think he's going to make it. Poor little fella.

1:21:19 > 1:21:22We don't even know his name or where he comes from.

1:21:22 > 1:21:25Good afternoon, I'm Mr Yusoke Nakamura.

1:21:25 > 1:21:26I live at 314...

1:21:26 > 1:21:29The bird amazingly gave his full address,

1:21:29 > 1:21:31right down to the last detail.

1:21:31 > 1:21:33..and you can also get me on my e-mail,

1:21:33 > 1:21:37which is greyparrot@squawkmail.squawk.

1:21:37 > 1:21:41The address he gave was correct and he was returned home.

1:21:41 > 1:21:44How do you always find your way back?! Why can't I get rid of you?!

1:21:44 > 1:21:47You're the most annoying parrot in the world!

1:21:47 > 1:21:49You're the most annoying parrot in the world.

1:21:49 > 1:21:52- Stop it!- Stop it. - Don't do that.- Don't do that.

1:21:52 > 1:21:54- Stop copying me.- Stop copying me.

1:21:54 > 1:21:56- I am warning you! - I am warning you.

1:21:58 > 1:22:01Ooh, what an annoying parrot!

1:22:01 > 1:22:06Oh, come on, Mr Reeves - that was an amazing story!

1:22:06 > 1:22:10It's not clever. Anyone can repeat something they've been told.

1:22:10 > 1:22:13Hmm, and can you prove it, Mr Reeves?

1:22:13 > 1:22:15Actually, yes, I think I can.

1:22:15 > 1:22:16- Captain Length-Width.- Yes?

1:22:16 > 1:22:18- Be a dear, would you?- Yes.

1:22:18 > 1:22:22- Now, repeat what I say. You can do that, can't you?- Yes.

1:22:22 > 1:22:24Peter picked a peck of pickled pepper.

1:22:26 > 1:22:30Peter picked a peck of pickled pepper.

1:22:30 > 1:22:31Peter pepepe...

1:22:31 > 1:22:34Peter picked a peck of pickled pepper.

1:22:34 > 1:22:37- Peter pepapa...- Petapepi...

1:22:37 > 1:22:40- Peter pepapipa...- Peter petapotato...

1:22:40 > 1:22:42THEY RAMBLE

1:22:42 > 1:22:44Oh, forget it, forget it.

1:22:44 > 1:22:49- Just forget about it. - Thank you, Peter!

1:22:49 > 1:22:52- Uh, Mr Reeves, here's a curious little fact for you.- Yes?

1:22:52 > 1:22:56- The giant octopus is a very clever animal.- Mmm? How so?

1:22:56 > 1:22:59Well, confused staff at the New Zealand Aquarium couldn't

1:22:59 > 1:23:03quite understand why all the crayfish were disappearing

1:23:03 > 1:23:04from one of the tanks.

1:23:05 > 1:23:09Perhaps they'd all gone to the crustacean disco in Margate!

1:23:09 > 1:23:12- BOTH:- Ha ha ha ha!

1:23:12 > 1:23:14Not quite, actually, Mr Reeves.

1:23:14 > 1:23:17Turns out the octopus was climbing out of his tank,

1:23:17 > 1:23:19climbing into the crayfish tank,

1:23:19 > 1:23:23eating a few crayfish for dinner, then climbing back

1:23:23 > 1:23:27into his own tank, shutting the lid behind him like he'd never left!

1:23:27 > 1:23:31Ho ho ho! Very sneaky, and very clever.

1:23:31 > 1:23:34They can also open jam jars, Mr Reeves.

1:23:34 > 1:23:36And they can fit into tiny spaces.

1:23:38 > 1:23:42So, in theory, they could unscrew a jam jar and then squeeze into it.

1:23:42 > 1:23:45Well, now, that is amazing.

1:23:45 > 1:23:47That's not amazing. I can do that.

1:23:47 > 1:23:50- You can open the lid of a jam jar? - Yeah, I can get open a jam jar.

1:23:50 > 1:23:53- You can't.- Yes, I can. - You can't.- Yes, I can.

1:23:53 > 1:23:55- No, you can't. - Can. I'm going to show you.

1:23:55 > 1:23:58Go on, then. Prove it.

1:23:58 > 1:23:59OK. English mustard.

1:23:59 > 1:24:02- Give us a spoonful.- In a minute.

1:24:04 > 1:24:07- Are you opening it, then? - Yeah, I'm opening it.

1:24:07 > 1:24:10- You can't do it, can you? - Yes, I can.- Told you.- Wait.

1:24:12 > 1:24:15- He can't do it. What are you doing?- Nothing.

1:24:15 > 1:24:18What's happening there? What's that thing?

1:24:19 > 1:24:21- What's going on?- Thank you, thank you.

1:24:21 > 1:24:25- Who are you talking to?- Nothing. Ah!

1:24:25 > 1:24:26Ah, he did it.

1:24:26 > 1:24:30Told you. Easy-peasy, no bother at all.

1:24:30 > 1:24:32Did you have any help?

1:24:32 > 1:24:34- None whatsoever. - We haven't got time to mess about,

1:24:34 > 1:24:37we need to answer this question.

1:24:37 > 1:24:39What's the smartest animal in the world?

1:24:39 > 1:24:43Mr Reeves, there's something large coming through E11.

1:24:43 > 1:24:46'Clever mammal loading in E11.'

1:24:48 > 1:24:51Hello, my dolphin! Right, have you got something to tell us?

1:24:51 > 1:24:53DOLPHIN SCREECHES

1:24:53 > 1:24:56Really? The dolphin here reckons that dolphins have got

1:24:56 > 1:24:59bigger brains than humans. I don't think so!

1:24:59 > 1:25:01- DOLPHIN SCREECHES - Yeah?

1:25:03 > 1:25:06Really?

1:25:06 > 1:25:10The dolphin here says that, in the early 1980s,

1:25:10 > 1:25:12a captive dolphin called Billy was taught the trick

1:25:12 > 1:25:14of walking underwater using its tail.

1:25:14 > 1:25:17It then went back out into the wild

1:25:17 > 1:25:19and taught the trick to all its dolphin friends.

1:25:19 > 1:25:24In the wild! Now, that's incredible. Thank you, dolphin, thank you.

1:25:24 > 1:25:28And as a special treat, before you go, I'd like to give you this.

1:25:28 > 1:25:32It's a leg of lamb. Which is what dolphins like, I think, isn't it?

1:25:32 > 1:25:35It's only plastic, but he'll never know the difference.

1:25:35 > 1:25:37DOLPHIN SCREECHES

1:25:37 > 1:25:40Oh, right. He did spot it was plastic.

1:25:41 > 1:25:44- DOLPHIN SCREECHES - What?

1:25:44 > 1:25:46Cheeky dolphin.

1:25:46 > 1:25:48Never been so ins-ulated in my whole life!

1:25:48 > 1:25:54Right, now then, Mr Lovett, are dolphins the cleverest animal?

1:25:54 > 1:25:55It's true, Mr Reeves.

1:25:55 > 1:25:58Most experts agreed that, after human beings,

1:25:58 > 1:26:00dolphins are the most intelligent animals.

1:26:00 > 1:26:04If it's good enough for the experts, then it's good enough for me.

1:26:04 > 1:26:07- Get that information off straightaway, Miss Henparty.- Tea.

1:26:07 > 1:26:09Yes, please.

1:26:09 > 1:26:10Yes, Mr Reeves.

1:26:12 > 1:26:15'Flying Postal Services has arrived.

1:26:16 > 1:26:18'Post prepared for postal personnel.

1:26:21 > 1:26:24'Thank you for using Flying Postal Services,

1:26:24 > 1:26:26'your number one aerial courier.'

1:26:27 > 1:26:31Soar away, celestial messenger!

1:26:31 > 1:26:35Right, Mr Frazernagle, we've got time for one more call, please.

1:26:35 > 1:26:39- Yeah, I've got a cracking call on line four.- Excellent.

1:26:39 > 1:26:43Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.

1:26:43 > 1:26:46How may I be of assistance?

1:26:46 > 1:26:48Hi, my name's Maria, and I was wondering,

1:26:48 > 1:26:51what's the worst place to go on holiday?

1:26:51 > 1:26:53And by worst, I mean the worst.

1:26:53 > 1:26:56Thank you, Maria, thank you for the enquiry.

1:26:56 > 1:26:58Thank you, goodbye. Yes, goodbye, yes, goodbye.

1:26:58 > 1:27:02Maria wants to know, where's the worst place to go on holiday?

1:27:02 > 1:27:05What do you think about holidays, Captain Length-Width?

1:27:05 > 1:27:08As you know, I like an LA pool party.

1:27:08 > 1:27:12And that's what I'm having right now, I'm having an LA pool party.

1:27:12 > 1:27:16I've bought myself my own LA pool, cost me 100,000 million,

1:27:16 > 1:27:17whatever it is,

1:27:17 > 1:27:21and I'm just sitting here and I'm having a chat with Chad

1:27:21 > 1:27:24and Brad, and we're discussing prospective movie projects.

1:27:24 > 1:27:26It's a bit small.

1:27:26 > 1:27:29No, no, this is the biggest pool in LA. The biggest one.

1:27:29 > 1:27:32Whatever which kind of way you want to look at it, it's a bathtub.

1:27:32 > 1:27:34No, no, no. No, no, no.

1:27:34 > 1:27:37It's just that you're in England and I'm in LA,

1:27:37 > 1:27:40- so it seems a lot smaller to you, cos you're so far away.- Mmm.

1:27:40 > 1:27:44Anyway, I'm a giant, as you know. I'm the Big Friendly Giant,

1:27:44 > 1:27:45- the BFG.- Yeah.

1:27:46 > 1:27:48- BFGF.- What is that?

1:27:48 > 1:27:50Big Flipping Gullible Fool.

1:27:50 > 1:27:52Think what you like, I'm on holiday.

1:27:52 > 1:27:55Well, he's having a great time over there,

1:27:55 > 1:27:58but what we want to know is, where's the worst place to go on holiday?

1:27:58 > 1:28:02Well, Mr Reeves, here's a fairly curious destination for you.

1:28:02 > 1:28:08- How about a holiday to Spiral Island II?- Spiral Island II! Tell me more.

1:28:08 > 1:28:12Well, Spiral Island II is a floating island

1:28:12 > 1:28:15made from 100,000 empty plastic bottles.

1:28:15 > 1:28:18It was built by eco builder Richie Sowa.

1:28:18 > 1:28:22He lives on it and only occasionally goes to land

1:28:22 > 1:28:24for fresh food and water.

1:28:24 > 1:28:29Spiral Island I was unfortunately destroyed, so it had to be rebuilt.

1:28:29 > 1:28:31So this bloke, Richie Sowa,

1:28:31 > 1:28:35lives on an island made entirely from empty plastic bottles?

1:28:35 > 1:28:38He must really like them. I'd like to meet this gentleman.

1:28:38 > 1:28:41Richie Sowa coming through X5, Mr Reeves.

1:28:41 > 1:28:42Oh, good.

1:28:42 > 1:28:45'Bottle builder loading in X5.'

1:28:47 > 1:28:51There he is, ladies and gentlemen, Richie Sowa, the bottle guy.

1:28:51 > 1:28:53Here he is.

1:28:53 > 1:28:54Hi, Richie.

1:28:54 > 1:28:56Say, Richie, what's it like,

1:28:56 > 1:28:59living on an island made of plastic bottles?

1:28:59 > 1:29:04Oh, it's swell, man. There's so much storage for liquid.

1:29:04 > 1:29:07- And also, they're my best friends.- Yeah.

1:29:07 > 1:29:11- Would you like to meet some of them? - Yeah, yeah. Like, who?

1:29:11 > 1:29:13- This one's Peter.- Hi, Peter.

1:29:13 > 1:29:15- He has a happy soul.- Yeah?

1:29:15 > 1:29:17- This one's Janet.- Hi, Janet.

1:29:17 > 1:29:19She does not behave as well as I'd like,

1:29:19 > 1:29:22but she will soon fall in line.

1:29:22 > 1:29:25- I've brought you a little gift.- Really?

1:29:25 > 1:29:27- Yeah.- Oh, Richie, how could you?

1:29:27 > 1:29:30I can't begin to guess what it might be.

1:29:30 > 1:29:34- I hope you like it. - Oh, Richie, it's beautiful.

1:29:34 > 1:29:37- Thank you so much.- Rubbish!

1:29:37 > 1:29:39Excuse me?

1:29:39 > 1:29:41I said I was feeling a bit sluggish.

1:29:41 > 1:29:45You said that it was rubbish. I heard you.

1:29:46 > 1:29:47How dare you?!

1:29:47 > 1:29:51How dare you just toss away the most precious gift that I could give!

1:29:51 > 1:29:55You will never join my plastic family. And you will never

1:29:55 > 1:29:56come and visit me on my island,

1:29:56 > 1:30:00which is made entirely of my beautiful bottles!

1:30:02 > 1:30:05Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, Richie Sowa!

1:30:05 > 1:30:07Richie Sowa right there.

1:30:07 > 1:30:10And now it's over to the sports desk and Captain L-W, Sunnyside, LA.

1:30:10 > 1:30:13How's the weather out there, Captain?

1:30:13 > 1:30:15That was quite a story, Mr Reeves, but the sport now,

1:30:15 > 1:30:18and the Cincinnati Bengals are having quite a time.

1:30:18 > 1:30:22All right, let's get back to it, ladies and gentlemen.

1:30:22 > 1:30:25We need to find out, where's the worst place to go on holiday?

1:30:25 > 1:30:28- Well, Mr Reeves, might I make a suggestion?- Yes.

1:30:28 > 1:30:31Why not go to a travel agents'?

1:30:31 > 1:30:35Very good idea. Very, very good. And also, curious!

1:30:37 > 1:30:38Mind yourselves!

1:30:39 > 1:30:42Stations, everyone!

1:30:51 > 1:30:54Hi, welcome to Curious Travel. How can I help you?

1:30:54 > 1:30:57Well, hello, I'm looking for somewhere really dreadful

1:30:57 > 1:30:58to go on holiday.

1:30:58 > 1:31:00You've come to the right place.

1:31:00 > 1:31:02Ours are so awful, you'll wish you never went.

1:31:02 > 1:31:05Brilliant, that's just what I'm looking for!

1:31:05 > 1:31:08- How about Flamingo Island? - What's that, then?

1:31:08 > 1:31:11- Let's take a look. Just pop this on. - Oh, yeah?

1:31:12 > 1:31:14OK?

1:31:18 > 1:31:20Well, it's pretty bad.

1:31:21 > 1:31:23This island is a manmade island

1:31:23 > 1:31:27built especially for 1,000 flamingos.

1:31:28 > 1:31:30- How lovely!- Nice here, isn't it?

1:31:30 > 1:31:34- What a lovely view. - I'm going to love it here.

1:31:34 > 1:31:37Problem was, it was so nice, it attracted more flamingos

1:31:37 > 1:31:41than it was built for, and over 10,000 of the pink fellows arrived.

1:31:43 > 1:31:45- Oi, budge up! - You're hogging all the room!

1:31:45 > 1:31:48- I can't move! - Help, I'm claustrophobic!

1:31:53 > 1:31:56Yeah, it's still not terrible enough.

1:31:56 > 1:31:58I quite like flamingos,

1:31:58 > 1:32:01and I'm looking for somewhere that I can really complain about.

1:32:01 > 1:32:05- OK, well, how about Death Valley in Nevada?- Ooh!

1:32:05 > 1:32:08If the rattlesnakes, scorpions, black widow spiders

1:32:08 > 1:32:12and mountain lions don't get you, the heat certainly will.

1:32:12 > 1:32:16It comes in at a scorching 134 degrees Fahrenheit,

1:32:16 > 1:32:17enough to melt your crayons.

1:32:17 > 1:32:20Oh, actually, Paul, our work-experience lad, went there

1:32:20 > 1:32:23- last week, didn't you, Paul?- Yeah.

1:32:23 > 1:32:25- How was it?- Terrible.

1:32:25 > 1:32:27Thanks, Paul.

1:32:27 > 1:32:31- Agh!- Or how about these? They're all real names of real places.

1:32:31 > 1:32:34There's Cape Disappointment in Washington.

1:32:34 > 1:32:36Well, that sounds like a bit of a letdown.

1:32:36 > 1:32:39Doesn't it? Or there's Middelfart in Denmark.

1:32:39 > 1:32:43That sounds appealing, because I do like somewhere with a smell.

1:32:43 > 1:32:46Do you like smells? OK, how about Titan?

1:32:46 > 1:32:48- Just want to pop the...?- Yeah.

1:32:48 > 1:32:50- Give it a...- OK, yeah.

1:32:53 > 1:32:58This is Titan, one of the moons orbiting the planet Saturn.

1:32:58 > 1:33:04It has rivers made of methane, which is the stuff found in all trumps.

1:33:04 > 1:33:09It also rains methane. Basically, this place is one massive guff.

1:33:10 > 1:33:14Well, that's brilliant, the place must really stink!

1:33:14 > 1:33:17Well, methane on its own doesn't actually smell -

1:33:17 > 1:33:19it has to mix with bacteria.

1:33:19 > 1:33:21That's disappointing, isn't it?

1:33:21 > 1:33:23Well, maybe somewhere that's a bit more cheesy.

1:33:23 > 1:33:26- Oh, why didn't you say, cobber? - I just did.

1:33:26 > 1:33:30Stinky Cheese Town, the Cote-d'Or in France.

1:33:30 > 1:33:34It's actually been made smelly by the cheese it manufactures.

1:33:34 > 1:33:37The Epoisses de Bourgogne is the smelliest cheese.

1:33:37 > 1:33:40It's so stinky, it's been banned from public transport.

1:33:40 > 1:33:41Fantastic! I feel inspired!

1:33:45 > 1:33:49# The Stinky Town is a place in the south of France

1:33:52 > 1:33:56# Stinky Town smells of rancid old underpants

1:34:00 > 1:34:02- # I'll take you there - Where?

1:34:02 > 1:34:04# I just told you - Stinky Town

1:34:06 > 1:34:08# Stinky Town, Stinky Town

1:34:10 > 1:34:12# The smell of cheese is always on the air

1:34:13 > 1:34:14# Yeah

1:34:16 > 1:34:20# The smell like a bag of unwashed sportswear

1:34:23 > 1:34:25- # I'll take you there - Where?

1:34:25 > 1:34:27# Stinky Town, Stinky Town

1:34:27 > 1:34:29- # You'll love it there - Where?

1:34:29 > 1:34:31# Stinky Town, Stinky Town

1:34:31 > 1:34:33- # Stinky Town - Yeah

1:34:33 > 1:34:35# Stinky Town, Stinky Town

1:34:35 > 1:34:37- # Stinky Town - Where?

1:34:37 > 1:34:39# Stinky Town! #

1:34:41 > 1:34:43Well, I think we're all in agreement,

1:34:43 > 1:34:45there are some gruesome places to go on holiday,

1:34:45 > 1:34:48but my recommendation is Stinky Town.

1:34:48 > 1:34:49ALL: Yeah!

1:34:49 > 1:34:51So, please, Miss Teaparty,

1:34:51 > 1:34:53get that information off as quickly as possible!

1:34:53 > 1:34:56- Right away, Mr Reeves.- Thank you.

1:34:56 > 1:35:00'Attention, Ministry. The working day is over.

1:35:00 > 1:35:02'Reassessing curious stuff.'

1:35:02 > 1:35:06Tanisha asked, can she avoid bedtime? And we found out.

1:35:06 > 1:35:11Dolphins sleep with one eye open, so they're only ever half asleep.

1:35:11 > 1:35:14I have the same skills as the dolphin.

1:35:14 > 1:35:17Go three days without sleeping, you see things that aren't there.

1:35:17 > 1:35:19Gorilla's chasing me. He's after my bananas.

1:35:19 > 1:35:20But in the 1940s,

1:35:20 > 1:35:25Al Herpin baffled doctors by not sleeping for ten years.

1:35:25 > 1:35:27I just don't need to get no shuteye.

1:35:27 > 1:35:31To answer Tanisha's question, we recommend you don't avoid bedtime.

1:35:31 > 1:35:34- Sleep recharges you and keeps you healthy.- Mr Reeves!

1:35:34 > 1:35:38Next, Jack wanted to know, what's the smartest animal?

1:35:38 > 1:35:42The jumping spider eats others by plucking a rhythm on their webs,

1:35:42 > 1:35:44pretending to be a trapped insect.

1:35:44 > 1:35:45Good afternoon.

1:35:45 > 1:35:48An injured parrot recited its owner's full address to the vets,

1:35:48 > 1:35:51who got him home safely. Brainy!

1:35:51 > 1:35:53No! How do you always find your way back?

1:35:53 > 1:35:56An octopus in New Zealand worked out how to escape from its tank,

1:35:56 > 1:35:59steal crayfish and climb back into its tank,

1:35:59 > 1:36:02shutting the door behind him. Very sneaky, very clever.

1:36:02 > 1:36:05But Jack, we think the smartest animal is the dolphin.

1:36:05 > 1:36:06They've got bigger brains than us.

1:36:06 > 1:36:08DOLPHIN SCREECHES

1:36:08 > 1:36:09He did spot it was plastic.

1:36:09 > 1:36:11Finally, Maria wanted to know,

1:36:11 > 1:36:14what's the worst place to go on holiday?

1:36:14 > 1:36:16We found out about Spiral Island II,

1:36:16 > 1:36:18made entirely of old plastic bottles.

1:36:18 > 1:36:21Everybody just tosses away their plastic bottles

1:36:21 > 1:36:23when they're finished with them, but I keep them.

1:36:23 > 1:36:27Flamingo Island is an island made entirely of, well, flamingos.

1:36:27 > 1:36:31- Oi, budge up!- Death Valley has scorchingly-hot temperatures,

1:36:31 > 1:36:35- reaching 134 degrees Fahrenheit. How was it?- Terrible.

1:36:35 > 1:36:37Titan is a moon. It has rivers of methane,

1:36:37 > 1:36:39the stuff found in stinky trumps.

1:36:39 > 1:36:43This place is one massive guff.

1:36:43 > 1:36:46But Maria, we think the worst place to go on holiday is

1:36:46 > 1:36:49Stinky Cheese Town in France. Smelly.

1:36:49 > 1:36:54- Well done, everybody. Goodbye, everybody.- 'End of the day.

1:36:54 > 1:36:56- 'Transportation ready for Mr Reeves.'- Goodbye, Mr Reeves.

1:36:56 > 1:36:59- Goodbye, Mr Reeves.- Bye, Mr Reeves.

1:37:01 > 1:37:02Stand back, everyone.

1:37:05 > 1:37:08I'm going home for me tea.

1:37:24 > 1:37:26Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1:37:26 > 1:37:29E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk