Episode 8

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03PHONE RINGS

0:00:06 > 0:00:08Here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff,

0:00:08 > 0:00:12we seek to answer any question you may ask.

0:00:12 > 0:00:14No question is too ridiculous.

0:00:14 > 0:00:17On-call are our highly curious researchers,

0:00:17 > 0:00:20Lovett, Wannamaker, Frazernagle,

0:00:20 > 0:00:24Teaparty and of course, Captain Length-Width.

0:00:24 > 0:00:27The Ministry is a thinking facility that helps US

0:00:27 > 0:00:30to find YOU an answer.

0:00:30 > 0:00:34'The working day will commence in 10 seconds.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38'Don't be late.'

0:00:45 > 0:00:49'Attention, Mr Reeves is entering the building.'

0:00:50 > 0:00:54'Welcome to the Ministry of Curious Stuff.'

0:00:54 > 0:00:56Morning, everybody.

0:00:56 > 0:00:59- Good morning, Mr Reeves. - Good morning!

0:00:59 > 0:01:03Captain Length-Width, what have you got there?

0:01:03 > 0:01:05It's beautiful!

0:01:05 > 0:01:08Isn't it most gorgeous thing you've ever seen?

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Astonishing, dazzling, startling, beautiful!

0:01:12 > 0:01:13Where did you get it?

0:01:13 > 0:01:18- Just look at the size and the shape of it.- It's gorgeous.

0:01:18 > 0:01:20- Not that. This! - It's a cardboard box.

0:01:20 > 0:01:25No, it's an ancient tribal drum from the Fragile tribe of the Amazon.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27Listen to it play.

0:01:27 > 0:01:29DRUMMING

0:01:38 > 0:01:42- Beautiful.- Wonderful.- And what a sound, what an incredible sound!

0:01:42 > 0:01:45- What will you do with this? - I don't want it.

0:01:45 > 0:01:47- If you don't want it, I'll eat it.- OK.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52- What's it like?- A bit tough.

0:01:52 > 0:01:56- Save me some.- Frazernagle, how are the switchboards looking?

0:01:56 > 0:01:59They're looking very attractive today.

0:01:59 > 0:02:03- I've got a caller through on line one.- Thank you very much indeed.

0:02:03 > 0:02:07Hello, this is Vic Reeves at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.

0:02:07 > 0:02:11- How can I be of assistance today? - My name is Faisal.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14I wanted to ask what is the most expensive piece of art?

0:02:14 > 0:02:17What's the most expensive piece of art?

0:02:23 > 0:02:27Being a bit of an art buff, I like me art expensive,

0:02:27 > 0:02:31and if I'm paying top dollar, I want to see a lot of art.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34- If you would care to take a look, Mr Reeves.- Yes.

0:02:34 > 0:02:38Some of the biggest art has been made by the artist Christo

0:02:38 > 0:02:41who wraps massive structures, and even sometimes islands,

0:02:41 > 0:02:43in silk and calls it art.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47You know what? I would like to meet this Crusty.

0:02:47 > 0:02:49Something arty loading in D7.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52'Christo loading in D7.'

0:02:54 > 0:02:59- Yo, man, I'm Christo.- I thought you might be.- What up?- How do you do?

0:03:01 > 0:03:03- Very good.- Whatever, man.

0:03:03 > 0:03:06Well, Christo, how would you describe your art?

0:03:06 > 0:03:10Yeah, I just like to wrap stuff up. I make it look amazing.

0:03:10 > 0:03:11I make it look blazing.

0:03:11 > 0:03:15I see something massive, I just got w-w-wrap it.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17- Is this Captain Length-Width? - Yeah, sorry about that.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20I saw him on the way in, sitting there looking massive

0:03:20 > 0:03:23and I just had to w-w-wrap it.

0:03:23 > 0:03:25- I can't help it, that's how I do.- Are you OK?

0:03:25 > 0:03:30Not exactly, Mr Reeves, it was rather forced upon me by Christian.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33- It's Christo, Popeye! - Yes, super stuff.

0:03:33 > 0:03:36- Respect is due, touch, touch, touch. - Whatever, man.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38Don't touch him.

0:03:38 > 0:03:43- Well, I must say, Christo, Christi...- Christo, fool.

0:03:43 > 0:03:47Yes, Christo, I did enjoy the art that I saw earlier on

0:03:47 > 0:03:51- with the buildings wrapped up. - No, that ain't no art,

0:03:51 > 0:03:53that's a birthday present for my wife.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55I gots to get her something extra special

0:03:55 > 0:03:58because she's still mad at me for wrapping up her mother.

0:03:58 > 0:04:03Nice. That's thoughtful, buying a building and wrapping it up.

0:04:03 > 0:04:07No, man, I didn't buy it, I just wrapped it up!

0:04:07 > 0:04:08You can't do that!

0:04:08 > 0:04:11I can do whatever I like, I'm Christo, I wrap stuff up.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13You can't do that!

0:04:13 > 0:04:17- I wrap it, that's how I do. - I'm not having any of that bizzle.

0:04:17 > 0:04:21What you talk about?! That's what I do, I see something massive,

0:04:21 > 0:04:23I got to w-w-wrap it up. Nuff said.

0:04:23 > 0:04:26You can't go around wrapping willy nilly.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28- What have you done to my desk? - You like it?

0:04:28 > 0:04:31No, I don't like it. You can't go around wrapping stuff up

0:04:31 > 0:04:36- around the Ministry. Get out. Go on, get out.- Get your hands off me!

0:04:36 > 0:04:40- You're crazy, get off me! - Get out.- I'm gon' call my mother!

0:04:40 > 0:04:43We don't want your sort around here. Get out!

0:04:43 > 0:04:46Don't touch me, you crazy man!

0:04:46 > 0:04:50There! Clear off and don't come back!

0:04:50 > 0:04:53That one was rather cheesing me off, Mr Reeves. My hero.

0:04:53 > 0:04:57- Yes, I am rather good at boxing. - I can tell.- Anyway, where were we?

0:04:57 > 0:05:02- The most expensive piece of art? - What about the smallest piece?

0:05:02 > 0:05:05An English artist, Willard Wigan,

0:05:05 > 0:05:09makes tiny sculptures of landmarks, like the Statue of Liberty,

0:05:09 > 0:05:11and they're small enough to fit in the head of a pin?

0:05:11 > 0:05:15- Really?- Something's rumbling in X5 down there.

0:05:15 > 0:05:18'Willard Wigan loading in X5.'

0:05:18 > 0:05:20- Hello, who's this, then? - Hello.

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Hello.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25- I am the artist Willard Wigan. - Hello.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27What a lovely handshake(!)

0:05:27 > 0:05:29VIC CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:05:29 > 0:05:32So, Willard Wigan,

0:05:32 > 0:05:35may I ask, do you come from Wigan?

0:05:35 > 0:05:38HE LAUGHS

0:05:43 > 0:05:47- No, I'm from Birmingham.- Right, that's the small talk over, then.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49So, what do you do?

0:05:49 > 0:05:53Well, I've taught myself how to enter a meditative state,

0:05:53 > 0:05:55slowing my heart rate down,

0:05:55 > 0:05:59and breathing so I can keep very still.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01The work is very difficult.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03- No, it's not.- What?

0:06:03 > 0:06:05No, it's not difficult, it's easy. Easy peasy.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07WILLARD SCOFFS

0:06:07 > 0:06:10I can assure you it's not.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12Oh, it is.

0:06:12 > 0:06:16You see, I do it myself, I make tiny art myself,

0:06:16 > 0:06:19although I choose not to blow my own trumpet...

0:06:19 > 0:06:20TRUMPET BLOWS

0:06:20 > 0:06:23..about it. Would you like to see some?

0:06:23 > 0:06:25Take a look at this.

0:06:26 > 0:06:28That there

0:06:28 > 0:06:34is Beyonce carved into a breakfast loop.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36- # All the single ladies - All the single ladies.- #

0:06:36 > 0:06:38What you think of that?

0:06:39 > 0:06:42It's all right, I suppose.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45Yes, it's magnificent, and that's not even my best.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48I've done the whole cast of Eastenders in breakfast cereal.

0:06:48 > 0:06:51They're around here somewhere.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54They were here. Captain Length-Width,

0:06:54 > 0:06:56where did you get that cereal?

0:06:58 > 0:06:59It came from outer space.

0:06:59 > 0:07:03- Where did you get that cereal? - Off your desk.

0:07:03 > 0:07:07- Off my desk.- Yes.- As I suspected.

0:07:07 > 0:07:11You've eaten the entire cast of Eastenders,

0:07:11 > 0:07:16and not only that, you've embarrassed me in front of Willy...

0:07:16 > 0:07:18- Gone.- He's gone.

0:07:18 > 0:07:21Do you know what, I can never forgive you for this. Never!

0:07:21 > 0:07:23I can never forgive you!

0:07:23 > 0:07:26Never ever in a million lifetimes can I ever forgive you

0:07:26 > 0:07:29for what you have just done!

0:07:29 > 0:07:33- What if I gave you £2? - Yes, all right, then. Thank you.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36- Going to tuck into a bit of Pat Butcher now.- Good.

0:07:38 > 0:07:43We've seen big art, small art, but what's the most expensive art?

0:07:43 > 0:07:45Well, here's a curious artefact.

0:07:45 > 0:07:48In 2007 a French woman was charged

0:07:48 > 0:07:51with criminal damage after kissing a painting worth 2 million.

0:07:51 > 0:07:55She said he was overcome with passion and couldn't help herself.

0:07:55 > 0:07:59She sounds absolutely stark-staring, hairdryer, monkey legs...

0:07:59 > 0:08:01- Bonkers.- Bonkers, thank you.

0:08:01 > 0:08:05'Rindy Sam loading in G1.'

0:08:06 > 0:08:10Look at you, Mr Vicky Reeves, you are beautiful,

0:08:10 > 0:08:12like a work of art or something.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15Come here. Mwah!

0:08:15 > 0:08:18Oh, get off! Get off me!

0:08:18 > 0:08:22Captain, get this kissy, French- art-kissing woman away from me!

0:08:22 > 0:08:24Like to kiss art, hey?

0:08:25 > 0:08:27Bonjour, Mademoiselle.

0:08:27 > 0:08:33Holy mackerel! Come 'ere, you walking piece of hunky art, you.

0:08:36 > 0:08:37KISSING SOUNDS

0:08:37 > 0:08:40Pack it in, there are animals present. Hoot, hoot.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43Don't look, Scott. Hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot!

0:08:43 > 0:08:47- Quick, quick, we need another art fact.- What about this, Mr Reeves?

0:08:47 > 0:08:49What about the artist Tim Knowles?

0:08:51 > 0:08:55Behold, Tim Knowles, the artist.

0:08:55 > 0:08:58His rather odd technique is to attach pens

0:08:58 > 0:09:00to the branches of trees

0:09:00 > 0:09:02and let the wind do the work.

0:09:04 > 0:09:07Darling, what do you think?

0:09:07 > 0:09:09Doo-doo!

0:09:09 > 0:09:11Hmmm...

0:09:11 > 0:09:14Top-notch. It looks just like me.

0:09:14 > 0:09:15I thank you.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20So he just ties Biros to the bottom of a tree

0:09:20 > 0:09:24and lets the tree do the work? To me, that's just lazy art.

0:09:24 > 0:09:29And we still haven't found the answer to Faisal's question,

0:09:29 > 0:09:32what is the most expensive art in the world?

0:09:32 > 0:09:34I've found it, Mr Reeves.

0:09:34 > 0:09:39The most expensive piece of art was by the artist Jackson Pollock.

0:09:39 > 0:09:44The piece was called Number 5 and was allegedly sold for 140 million.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46If you would care to take a look.

0:09:48 > 0:09:52Wow. That's what the most expensive painting in the world looks like.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59Oh, Number 5, you are beautiful.

0:09:59 > 0:10:03Come here, you big hunky piece of art, you.

0:10:03 > 0:10:07Oi, steady on, love, that's worth 140 million!

0:10:07 > 0:10:10Don't slobber all over it,

0:10:10 > 0:10:14- although it looks like you might have already.- Do you mind?- Oh!

0:10:16 > 0:10:21So, there we are, Jackson Pollock's painting, Number 5,

0:10:21 > 0:10:23is the most expensive painting in the world.

0:10:23 > 0:10:29Get that information off to Faisal pronto. Thank you, Miss Teapot.

0:10:29 > 0:10:33- Party.- Party.- Right away, Mr Reeves.

0:10:33 > 0:10:37'Attention, attention, Flying Postal Services entering the Ministry.

0:10:40 > 0:10:43'Please have your post prepared for the postal personnel upon arrival.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48'Postal person descending.

0:10:48 > 0:10:52'Postal person descending. Please stand back.

0:10:52 > 0:10:57'Postal service reaching its destination in three, two, one.'

0:11:03 > 0:11:07'Postal services departing, stand clear.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10'Post will be delivered in approximately

0:11:10 > 0:11:14'two minutes and 32 seconds.

0:11:17 > 0:11:21'Thank you for using Flying Postal Services.'

0:11:21 > 0:11:22Farewell, postal mistress.

0:11:22 > 0:11:26Time for another question. What have we got, Mr Frazernagle?

0:11:26 > 0:11:31- The switchboards are block-a-chock. - Chock-a-block.- Chopping block?

0:11:31 > 0:11:32Never mind.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35Anyway, I've got a caller on line two. I'll put you through.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38Thank you, if you could be so kind.

0:11:38 > 0:11:44Hello. This is Vic Reeves at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46How might I be of insistence?

0:11:46 > 0:11:51Hello, I'm Lucy and I want to know, what is so great about babies?

0:11:51 > 0:11:54Thank you, Lucy. Good day.

0:11:54 > 0:11:59Right, so, what's so great about babies?

0:12:02 > 0:12:05I tell you what would be good,

0:12:05 > 0:12:08if we could actually speak to a newborn baby,

0:12:08 > 0:12:12who could actually speak. Wouldn't that be marvellous?

0:12:12 > 0:12:17Be careful what you wish for. I've got a big man baby coming through.

0:12:17 > 0:12:20'Man baby loading in H3.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23- Hello.- Hello, strange man.

0:12:23 > 0:12:29- I'm known in both circles as Simon. - Hello, giant man baby Simon.

0:12:29 > 0:12:33- Perhaps you could help us. - Did you see what I just did?

0:12:33 > 0:12:37- I tried to put my foot in my mouth. What is that all about?- I've no idea.

0:12:37 > 0:12:41I just decided it was the best thing to do at the time.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Maybe you can answer...?

0:12:43 > 0:12:46I'm bored! Entertain me or I shall cause a fuss,

0:12:46 > 0:12:48and trust me I can make quite a racket.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51There will be screaming, and quite probably some snot involved.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53Good, but what I want to know...

0:12:53 > 0:12:59I just decided to pull the head off my teddy bear. What spontaneity!

0:12:59 > 0:13:02Yes. Could you tell us...?

0:13:02 > 0:13:05Why did I do that? My beloved teddy.

0:13:05 > 0:13:09- I wholeheartedly regret my actions! - You should.

0:13:09 > 0:13:14It seemed like such a good idea at the time!

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Now then...

0:13:17 > 0:13:23The question is what's so great about babies?

0:13:23 > 0:13:28- Guess what?- What?- I've just messed my nappy so the real question is...

0:13:31 > 0:13:36Well, I didn't really get anywhere there, Miss Tea Towel.

0:13:36 > 0:13:37Party.

0:13:37 > 0:13:40Yes, Towel, Party. Miss Teaparty.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42Well, I have a very curious fact, Mr Reeves.

0:13:42 > 0:13:47Did you know that babies can't actually cry?

0:13:47 > 0:13:51- Well, giant man baby Simon just cried.- Oh!

0:13:51 > 0:13:56Yes, well, technically he didn't as there were no real tears.

0:13:56 > 0:13:59They can scream for all they need, but technically babies

0:13:59 > 0:14:03can't produce real tears until they're three weeks old.

0:14:03 > 0:14:07Let's ask him - giant man baby Simon, can you cry?

0:14:07 > 0:14:09What? Me, cry?

0:14:09 > 0:14:12Don't be ridiculous. Did you listen to a word the young lady said?

0:14:12 > 0:14:19I'm two weeks old, I can't cry, no! No, you stupid, stupid man.

0:14:19 > 0:14:22I've never been more indignant in my life. This is ridiculous.

0:14:22 > 0:14:25Come on, any more facts?

0:14:25 > 0:14:28Mr Reeves, this is amazing!

0:14:28 > 0:14:33I've found a woman who has had the most unbelievable number of babies!

0:14:33 > 0:14:35Extraordinary.

0:14:38 > 0:14:41According to the 2004 Guinness Book of Records,

0:14:41 > 0:14:44a Russian wife, Feodor Vassilyev,

0:14:44 > 0:14:48reportedly gave birth to 69 children in the 18th century.

0:14:49 > 0:14:53She allegedly gave birth to 16 sets of twins...

0:14:55 > 0:14:57..seven sets of triplets...

0:14:59 > 0:15:02..and four sets of quadruplets!

0:15:04 > 0:15:07Now that is a lot of babies.

0:15:07 > 0:15:10CRYING

0:15:11 > 0:15:14Will you kids just shut up?!

0:15:16 > 0:15:18We still haven't answered Lucy's question,

0:15:18 > 0:15:21- what's so great about babies? - Well, I do have an idea.

0:15:21 > 0:15:24Maybe we should turn our attention to the animal world,

0:15:24 > 0:15:27because some animals do have really great babies.

0:15:27 > 0:15:30Oh, I have a very curious fact here!

0:15:30 > 0:15:34Did you know that as soon as a baby giraffe is born,

0:15:34 > 0:15:38it immediately falls six feet towards the ground head first?

0:15:38 > 0:15:42The impact is what causes the baby giraffe to take its first breath.

0:15:42 > 0:15:45- Imagine that. - THUD

0:15:45 > 0:15:48Whoops, how embarrassing!

0:15:48 > 0:15:51- Is everything all right down there? - Yes, it's fine.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54I'm pleased to announce that you've given birth to, uh,

0:15:54 > 0:15:56a giraffe.

0:15:57 > 0:16:01Right, get in there. All right. Good luck.

0:16:01 > 0:16:03Hmm, this is curious.

0:16:03 > 0:16:08Did you know that all shrimp are born male then grow up to be female?

0:16:08 > 0:16:12- No, I didn't.- We appear to have some shrimp in Z13.

0:16:12 > 0:16:15'Baby shrimp loading in Z13.'

0:16:15 > 0:16:17Look, there they are.

0:16:17 > 0:16:22- Could you tell me how many amongst you are female?- What?

0:16:22 > 0:16:25- No, mate, no.- No girls allowed!

0:16:25 > 0:16:27This is a no girl-zone.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29THEY LAUGH

0:16:29 > 0:16:33Well, I'll just make a note of that - no girls allowed.

0:16:34 > 0:16:37So, why do you not allow girls in your gang?

0:16:37 > 0:16:39What?

0:16:39 > 0:16:42- We ARE girls?- Silly!

0:16:42 > 0:16:44Girl hater!

0:16:44 > 0:16:48It seems that you were right, Lovett. Oh!

0:16:48 > 0:16:51I'm bored! Entertain me.

0:16:51 > 0:16:52Or feed me!

0:16:54 > 0:16:56I'm hungry.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59Here's something that might be of use.

0:16:59 > 0:17:03In the early 1900s, they invented baby cages.

0:17:03 > 0:17:06- Baby cages?- Mm-hm. The baby cage was a curious invention,

0:17:06 > 0:17:08- if you'd care to take a look.- Yes.

0:17:09 > 0:17:11It was designed so your baby

0:17:11 > 0:17:14could get fresh air even if you lived in a high-rise flat.

0:17:14 > 0:17:18The baby would sit in a cage that was then precariously tied

0:17:18 > 0:17:20to the outside of a high window.

0:17:20 > 0:17:22But it just didn't take off.

0:17:22 > 0:17:26Perhaps we should reintroduce baby cages for man baby Simon.

0:17:26 > 0:17:30- Already taken care of, Mr Reeves. - What's going on?

0:17:30 > 0:17:33This is preposterous. I'm in a cage.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36Although I must say the air at this altitude is much fresher.

0:17:36 > 0:17:38There we are, problem solved.

0:17:38 > 0:17:42In answer to Lucy's question, what's so great about babies,

0:17:42 > 0:17:45well, remember the baby giraffe,

0:17:45 > 0:17:48remember the baby shrimps.

0:17:48 > 0:17:52I think we can safely say that babies, both animal and human,

0:17:52 > 0:17:54are pretty amazing

0:17:54 > 0:17:56and well worth looking after.

0:17:58 > 0:18:03So, can you get those findings off to Lucy, please, Miss Teaparty?

0:18:03 > 0:18:05Right away, Mr Reeves.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07'Attention,, attention,

0:18:07 > 0:18:10'Flying Postal Services has arrived.

0:18:11 > 0:18:14'Post prepared for postal personnel.

0:18:16 > 0:18:19'Thank you for using Flying Postal Services,

0:18:19 > 0:18:22'Your number one aerial courier.'

0:18:23 > 0:18:24Goodbye, my postal angel.

0:18:24 > 0:18:27Frazernagle, what are you doing this weekend?

0:18:27 > 0:18:30- Well, Mr Reeves, I'm going whaling.- Really?

0:18:30 > 0:18:33- Do you want to hear a bit? - If you like.

0:18:33 > 0:18:36HE WAILS

0:18:36 > 0:18:39Hmm. Time for one final question.

0:18:39 > 0:18:44I've got a brilliant caller with a great question on line four.

0:18:44 > 0:18:47Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.

0:18:47 > 0:18:50How might I help you?

0:18:50 > 0:18:53Hello, my name is Sunny and my question is,

0:18:53 > 0:18:55can you buy a pet from a vending machine?

0:18:55 > 0:18:57Thank you, goodbye.

0:19:02 > 0:19:07Can you buy a pet from a vending machine?

0:19:07 > 0:19:11I've never in my life heard anything more ridiculous or preposterous!

0:19:11 > 0:19:14The only thing you can get from a vending machine

0:19:14 > 0:19:19is crisps, pop, chocolate, and maybe a cheeky little biscuit.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21Remember when we shared that cheeky little biscuit

0:19:21 > 0:19:23at the top of Mount Everest?

0:19:23 > 0:19:27No, that was a cheeky little biscuit on the top of the bins

0:19:27 > 0:19:30- round the back of the supermarket. - Yes, you're right.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33My mistake, so sorry, my bad.

0:19:34 > 0:19:39An easy mistake to make. Whoa, would you look at that?!

0:19:39 > 0:19:44Take a look at this little beauty. Do you know what I'm going to do?

0:19:44 > 0:19:48- I'm going to use my £2...- Nice one!

0:19:48 > 0:19:55..and buy myself a packet of cheese and onion and onion crisps.

0:19:55 > 0:19:56Come on.

0:19:56 > 0:20:00- HE GROANS - Would you look at that?

0:20:00 > 0:20:04The cheese and onion and onion crisps are stuck. Modern technology!

0:20:04 > 0:20:08Actually, Mr Reeves, it's really not that modern. It says here that

0:20:08 > 0:20:12the first vending machine was invented rather a long time ago.

0:20:12 > 0:20:13Really?

0:20:15 > 0:20:18The very first vending machine is thought to have been

0:20:18 > 0:20:21invented in Greece over 2,000 years ago.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25It worked in the usual way - a customer would put money

0:20:25 > 0:20:28in the slot and a drink would be dispensed.

0:20:28 > 0:20:30But it wasn't fizzy pop, no.

0:20:30 > 0:20:34This machine sold holy water.

0:20:34 > 0:20:37Holy water? Heavenly!

0:20:40 > 0:20:43That's very clever. Any other vending machine facts?

0:20:43 > 0:20:46Well, this one is brilliant.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49In 2010, a new vending machine was invented

0:20:49 > 0:20:53that gives you free ice cream, but only if you're smiling enough.

0:20:53 > 0:20:57It's currently being tested in Singapore and France.

0:20:57 > 0:21:00That's fantastic. Better than this hunk of junk,

0:21:00 > 0:21:04- and also rather curious. - RUMBLING

0:21:04 > 0:21:05Stations, everyone!

0:21:07 > 0:21:09Brace yourselves.

0:21:28 > 0:21:31- Where's the ice cream? - 'Smile for ice cream.'

0:21:33 > 0:21:36- What?- 'Smile for ice cream.'

0:21:36 > 0:21:37OK.

0:21:39 > 0:21:41'Smile not recognised.'

0:21:43 > 0:21:45'Smile not recognised.'

0:21:46 > 0:21:48'Smile not recognised.'

0:21:48 > 0:21:52- 'Smile not recognised.'- Stupid thing!

0:22:04 > 0:22:07I don't think it works quite like that, Mr Reeves.

0:22:07 > 0:22:10That's because the only thing you should get out of a vending

0:22:10 > 0:22:14machine is crisps, and mine are trapped within this brute!

0:22:14 > 0:22:18I'm going in to get them. Come out.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21I know you're in there! Don't think I won't find you.

0:22:21 > 0:22:23I can smell you!

0:22:23 > 0:22:25They're in here somewhere!

0:22:25 > 0:22:27How curious.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30Some of the strange things you can buy from a vending machine

0:22:30 > 0:22:34- include umbrellas. - Umbrella? I need one of those.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37You can get eggs.

0:22:37 > 0:22:40Eggs? Everyone loves a good egg.

0:22:42 > 0:22:45- Footballs.- Football, let's have a kickaround!

0:22:46 > 0:22:49Ties. You can even get trainers.

0:22:49 > 0:22:52Ties and trainers? I'd look proper smart.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54I'm going to get me some of that.

0:22:56 > 0:23:00And if you're still peckish, apparently you can even get a pizza!

0:23:07 > 0:23:11You look different, Mr Reeves. Have you done something to your hair?

0:23:11 > 0:23:15All I wanted was my flaming crisps, is that too much to ask?!

0:23:18 > 0:23:20Now, where are my crisps?

0:23:20 > 0:23:23SNAPPING, HE GROANS

0:23:25 > 0:23:28- What's he doing in there? - There are vending machines

0:23:28 > 0:23:31in Japan that dispense live lobsters for cooking.

0:23:31 > 0:23:36- A live lobster?- I know what you're thinking, Mr Reeves!

0:23:36 > 0:23:40So, if I don't eat him, I can keep him as a pet?

0:23:40 > 0:23:45Not only as a pet, but a lifelong companion. A true friend.

0:23:45 > 0:23:48Oh, ain't that sweet?

0:23:48 > 0:23:51You and me, Steve, are going away

0:23:51 > 0:23:54to the Camber rock'n'roll weekend!

0:23:54 > 0:23:57Lucky Steve. THEY LAUGH

0:24:00 > 0:24:02# Some people have dogs for friends

0:24:02 > 0:24:05# Some people keep horses Some people keep hens

0:24:05 > 0:24:08# But I've got a pet that I recommend

0:24:08 > 0:24:11# He's a rock'n'roll crustacean

0:24:11 > 0:24:13# I'm a lobster, that's what I am

0:24:13 > 0:24:15- # He's a lobster - I'm a lobster

0:24:15 > 0:24:18- # He's a lobster - I'm a lobster

0:24:18 > 0:24:20# A lobster, that's what I am

0:24:27 > 0:24:29# Some people keep a bird in a cage

0:24:29 > 0:24:32# Some people think a mouse is all the rage

0:24:32 > 0:24:34# Horses have hooves and dogs have paws

0:24:34 > 0:24:37# But this little baby's got a pair of claws

0:24:37 > 0:24:40- # I'm a lobster, that's what I am - He's a lobster

0:24:40 > 0:24:43- # I'm a lobster - He's a lobster

0:24:43 > 0:24:46- # I'm a lobster - A lobster, that's what he am

0:24:46 > 0:24:49# A lobster, that's what he am. #

0:24:50 > 0:24:55So the answer's yes, you can get a pet from a vending machine,

0:24:55 > 0:24:57as long as it's a lobster and you live in Japan.

0:24:57 > 0:24:59You know the drill, Miss Teaparty,

0:24:59 > 0:25:03get those findings off to Sunny as quickly as possible.

0:25:03 > 0:25:05Thank you.

0:25:07 > 0:25:10'Attention, ministry. The working day is over.'

0:25:10 > 0:25:12What an exciting day!

0:25:14 > 0:25:17Yes, and before I go off on my rockabilly weekend with Steve,

0:25:17 > 0:25:20I'd like to say what a terrific day we've had.

0:25:20 > 0:25:22'Reassessing curious stuff.'

0:25:22 > 0:25:26Faisal asked what's the most expensive piece of art?

0:25:26 > 0:25:29We met Christo who wraps things up and calls it art.

0:25:29 > 0:25:32I see something massive, I just got w-w-wra it.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34Willard Wigan who makes tiny art.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37- What do think of that? - It's all right, I suppose.

0:25:37 > 0:25:40And Rindy Sam who loves art so much she kissed it.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45Today, the most expensive piece of art

0:25:45 > 0:25:50is Jackson Pollock's Number 5. It sold for 140 million!

0:25:50 > 0:25:53Lucy wanted to know what's the point in babies?

0:25:53 > 0:25:56Baby giraffes fall six feet when they're born.

0:25:56 > 0:26:00- Is everything all right?- Baby shrimp change from being boys to girls.

0:26:00 > 0:26:05- Why do you not allow girls in your gang?- We ARE girls, silly!

0:26:05 > 0:26:10- A lady in Russia is said to have had 69 babies!- Kids, shut up!

0:26:10 > 0:26:14All in all, babies can do pretty amazing things.

0:26:14 > 0:26:18Sunny wanted to know, could you buy a pet from a vending machine?

0:26:18 > 0:26:22We found out that vending machines have been around since Ancient

0:26:22 > 0:26:26Greece, and in Japan you can buy lobsters from vending machines!

0:26:26 > 0:26:29What's he doing in there?

0:26:29 > 0:26:32To answer Sunny's question, you CAN get a pet from a vending machine.

0:26:32 > 0:26:36If you want a pet lobster like me.

0:26:36 > 0:26:38So, goodbye everybody, goodbye.

0:26:38 > 0:26:42'End of the day. Transportation ready for Mr Reeves.'

0:26:42 > 0:26:45- Goodbye, Mr Reeves. - Goodbye, Mr Reeves.

0:26:45 > 0:26:48- Goodbye.- Goodbye, Mr Reeves.

0:26:48 > 0:26:50Stand back, everyone.

0:26:52 > 0:26:55I'm going home for me tea!

0:27:20 > 0:27:24Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd