Episode 10

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04TYPEWRITER TAPS

0:00:05 > 0:00:09'Here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff, we explore any subject

0:00:09 > 0:00:14'you desire and deliver top-quality curious facts.

0:00:17 > 0:00:20'On hand, our dedicated team, Lovett,

0:00:20 > 0:00:23'Teaparty, Frazernagle on the calls,

0:00:23 > 0:00:24'Wannamaker in the walls.

0:00:24 > 0:00:27'And of course, Captain Length-Width.

0:00:33 > 0:00:35'That's Miss Bracegirdle.

0:00:36 > 0:00:39'She's been sent by head office to investigate our work

0:00:39 > 0:00:41'and compile a report.

0:00:41 > 0:00:44'If we fail to impress, the Megaboss will shut the Ministry down.

0:00:47 > 0:00:51'Let's not dilly-dally, there's lots to do.

0:00:51 > 0:00:54'Welcome to the Ministry of Curious Stuff.'

0:00:54 > 0:00:57Good morning, everybody.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59- Good morning, Mr Reeves. - Good morning, Mr Reeves.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02- Morning, Mr Reeves. - Good morning, Mr Reeves.

0:01:02 > 0:01:04Good morning, Miss Teaparty. What are the headlines?

0:01:04 > 0:01:06Well, Mr Reeves,

0:01:06 > 0:01:09- there are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange.- But...

0:01:09 > 0:01:13Painting was once an event at the Olympics.

0:01:13 > 0:01:15And I have been voted Nicely Magazine's

0:01:15 > 0:01:18Nicest Nice Person Of The Year for the fifth year running.

0:01:18 > 0:01:20How lovely and nice, Miss Teaparty.

0:01:20 > 0:01:24Ah, Captain Length-Width, are you looking forward to tonight's

0:01:24 > 0:01:27- concert where we support Rihanna at the Scout Hut?- Oh, Mr Reeves!

0:01:27 > 0:01:29I can't wait for the gig tonight.

0:01:29 > 0:01:31And have you got the instruments in the back of the van?

0:01:31 > 0:01:35- Ah, well, about the instruments. - Oh! You haven't eaten them again?

0:01:35 > 0:01:38No, no, I haven't eaten them, don't be ridiculous.

0:01:38 > 0:01:41I took the instruments home last night to give them a clean up

0:01:41 > 0:01:44- in anticipation of the gig tonight with Rihanna.- Yes.

0:01:44 > 0:01:46And, well, I put them in the washing machine,

0:01:46 > 0:01:49obviously, to clean them, but I think I may have turned up

0:01:49 > 0:01:52the heat just a little too high because this happened.

0:01:53 > 0:01:56- You put them on a hot wash, didn't you?- Yes.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59- You put them on a hot wash and you shrunk them!- Yes, I did.

0:01:59 > 0:02:05- Ooh, really!- What are we going to do?- Let me think for a minute.

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Ah. Now then, right, they're shrunk,

0:02:07 > 0:02:10we get in the washing machine on the hot wash, we shrink.

0:02:10 > 0:02:13We put the Scout Hut in there, we shrink that.

0:02:13 > 0:02:17We put Rihanna in, shrink that, everyone's shrunk, job done.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19Once again, Mr Reeves saves the day.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21Oh, Mr Reeves!

0:02:21 > 0:02:24- Tick, tick, tick.- Ooh...

0:02:31 > 0:02:35- Good morning, Mr Frazernagle. - Oh, morning, Mr Reeves.

0:02:35 > 0:02:37Any calls coming through on the switchboard?

0:02:37 > 0:02:39I've got a great call on line two,

0:02:39 > 0:02:41I'll put you through at the speed of light.

0:02:41 > 0:02:43PHONE RINGS

0:02:43 > 0:02:44Thank you.

0:02:45 > 0:02:49Good day, hello, Vic Reeves here at the Ministry Of Curious Stuff.

0:02:49 > 0:02:54- How might I be of backing to your exploration?- Hello, Mr Reeves.

0:02:54 > 0:02:56My name's Natalia and I like to know

0:02:56 > 0:02:59some curious stuff about 10 Downing Street.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Thank you very much, Natalia.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04Thank you so much, goodbye. Yes, good day.

0:03:04 > 0:03:07Natalia would like to know some curious facts about

0:03:07 > 0:03:1010 Downing Street where the Prime Minister lives.

0:03:15 > 0:03:19Right, curious fact about 10 Downing Street, what have we got?

0:03:19 > 0:03:22Well, Mr Reeves, the door at 10 Downing Street is bombproof

0:03:22 > 0:03:26with a high-quality gloss paint finish.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29There are two identical doors that get swapped over when one needs

0:03:29 > 0:03:32a new coat, but its paint is a state secret.

0:03:32 > 0:03:36Secret paint, eh? What's so secret about this paint?

0:03:36 > 0:03:40I think I might need to find out. And I'll have to use

0:03:40 > 0:03:43all of my brilliant super-spy skills to do so.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45I won't be long.

0:04:09 > 0:04:10Psst!

0:04:11 > 0:04:15- I hear you've been asking questions. - Are you the secret paint?

0:04:15 > 0:04:20- I might be, depends. What's the codeword?- What do you mean codeword?

0:04:20 > 0:04:23THE codeword so I know you are who you say you are.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25I don't know anything about a codeword.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28I'm not talking to you until you say the codeword.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30Well, can I come up with a new codeword and say that?

0:04:30 > 0:04:33Anything to get this over and done with, OK? So...

0:04:33 > 0:04:36The new codeword is

0:04:36 > 0:04:37'Swiss cheese.'

0:04:37 > 0:04:41Right, erm... Shall I go out and then come back in and sit down...?

0:04:41 > 0:04:44- I don't care.- Stay there.

0:04:49 > 0:04:53- Are you the secret paint? - You know I'm the secret...

0:04:53 > 0:04:55Just say the codeword.

0:04:55 > 0:04:56OK, the codeword is...

0:04:59 > 0:05:01Oh, erm...

0:05:02 > 0:05:04What was it again?

0:05:05 > 0:05:06Charming.

0:05:10 > 0:05:14Well, that tin of paint was a pro. Certainly knew how to keep a secret.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17Right, more facts on 10 Downing Street, please.

0:05:17 > 0:05:20- I have something, Mr Reeves.- Yes.

0:05:20 > 0:05:24There have been complaints about Larry, the 10 Downing Street cat

0:05:24 > 0:05:27who has the job of Chief Mouser to the Cabinet office.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30It appears he's been spending more time in the company

0:05:30 > 0:05:33of a female cat than he has hunting for mice.

0:05:33 > 0:05:34CHUCKLES

0:05:34 > 0:05:38- TANNOY:- 'Feline arriving at the Ministry in X5, Mr Reeves.'

0:05:38 > 0:05:43Hoy-hoy, Larry the Downing Street cat! Welcome to the Ministry.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46- Stop right there! - Who are you, then?- Hello, hi.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48I'm Ronnie Star, Larry's agent.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50Now, my client won't be discussing his love life,

0:05:50 > 0:05:53his relationship with the Prime Minister,

0:05:53 > 0:05:55or rumours he's going to be the next Doctor Who.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58- He's going to be the next Doctor Who, is he?- Whoa!

0:06:00 > 0:06:05OK, we have problem here. Larry doesn't like your face.

0:06:05 > 0:06:08In fact, he hates it.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11So what I'm going to have to ask you to do in order for this to work

0:06:11 > 0:06:13is for you to turn around and face the other way, OK?

0:06:13 > 0:06:17- I've never been... - Just turn... That's it.- Really!

0:06:17 > 0:06:22- Larry. Larry the Downing Street cat. Welcome.- Oh, no.- Hi, me again.

0:06:22 > 0:06:24Hello, Ronnie. We've still got a problem here you see

0:06:24 > 0:06:27because even though you've turned away,

0:06:27 > 0:06:30- Larry still knows your face is there, lurking.- Lurking?!

0:06:30 > 0:06:34OK, so what I'm going to have to ask you to do in order for this to

0:06:34 > 0:06:38- work is just get rid of the face, OK?- What you mean, hide?

0:06:38 > 0:06:42- Whatever you got to do, honey, just do it.- All right, I'll hide.

0:06:42 > 0:06:44- Get rid of the face.- Very well, OK.

0:06:44 > 0:06:48- MOBILE PHONE NOTIFICATION - Larry, the Downing Street cat...

0:06:48 > 0:06:50Larry! It's that Hollywood producer.

0:06:50 > 0:06:53He's offering 50 million for the movie rights for your life story

0:06:53 > 0:06:56but we've got to go and sign the contract right now. Come on, kiddo!

0:06:56 > 0:07:00Sorry, before you go, good luck, Larry, with Doctor Who.

0:07:00 > 0:07:04Once again, I'm so sorry about his horrible lurking face.

0:07:04 > 0:07:05OK, thank you, bye-bye.

0:07:05 > 0:07:09..I know I'm not really supposed ask you this, but perhaps you

0:07:09 > 0:07:12could tell me, what's it really like living with the Prime Minister?

0:07:12 > 0:07:17- Um, excuse me, Mr Reeves.- Mr Lovett, I'm talking to the cat.

0:07:18 > 0:07:19Where's he gone?

0:07:22 > 0:07:25- When did they leave? - A few moments ago.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28Don't worry, Mr Reeves, it could've happened to anyone.

0:07:28 > 0:07:32- I blame you for this. - Yes, so do I, yes.- Right.

0:07:32 > 0:07:35OK, more curious fact about 10 Downing Street, please.

0:07:35 > 0:07:39Well, Mr Reeves, in the early 19th century, 10 Downing Street was

0:07:39 > 0:07:42guarded by two men who sat outside the building on leather chairs.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46In each chair, there was a little drawer that had hot coals in it

0:07:46 > 0:07:48- to keep the men warm. - What a wonderful idea.

0:07:48 > 0:07:53Actually, Length-Width and I have chairs that are powered by coal.

0:07:53 > 0:07:57Captain Length-Width, what are your first impressions of the chair?

0:07:57 > 0:08:00Got to say I'm liking it, Mr Reeves.

0:08:00 > 0:08:04It's warm, it's comfortable, and it's a real conversation piece.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06What about you?

0:08:06 > 0:08:10The thing I like about it the most is that you can do this.

0:08:10 > 0:08:13HO-ONK!

0:08:13 > 0:08:18- Get out.- Yeah, I know what you mean, that's my favourite bit, too.

0:08:18 > 0:08:21HONK!

0:08:21 > 0:08:22Get out yourself.

0:08:22 > 0:08:25HO-ONK!

0:08:25 > 0:08:27HONK!

0:08:27 > 0:08:29HO-ONK!

0:08:29 > 0:08:31HONK!

0:08:31 > 0:08:33Yes, all right, we get the idea,

0:08:33 > 0:08:36you've both got big loud horns, very good, well done.

0:08:36 > 0:08:40- Shall we get on with some work? - Yes, of course, carry on.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43Right, so, let me tell you, did you know that Downing Street...

0:08:43 > 0:08:45HONK!

0:08:45 > 0:08:46THEY CHUCKLE

0:08:46 > 0:08:48HO-ONK!

0:08:48 > 0:08:49Did you know ...?

0:08:49 > 0:08:51HONK!

0:08:51 > 0:08:53Right! That's it!

0:08:55 > 0:08:56HO-ONK!

0:08:56 > 0:08:58MR REEVES LAUGHS

0:09:02 > 0:09:04CAPTAIN LENGTH-WIDTH LAUGHS

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Play time is over.

0:09:07 > 0:09:08SHE LAUGHS

0:09:08 > 0:09:09Spoilsport.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11Right, moving on,

0:09:11 > 0:09:14what else do we know about 10 Downing Street?

0:09:14 > 0:09:18Well, the last private resident of 10 Downing Street was a man

0:09:18 > 0:09:23called Mr Chicken and very little is known about this mysterious

0:09:23 > 0:09:27resident except for the fact he moved out in the early 1730s.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30A mysterious Mr Chicken?

0:09:30 > 0:09:32Wouldn't it be fantastic

0:09:32 > 0:09:35if we could be the first people ever to interview him?

0:09:35 > 0:09:39- TANNOY:- 'Mr Chicken arriving in Z32.'

0:09:39 > 0:09:42- Ah, Mr chicken.- Cluck-cluck-cluck.

0:09:42 > 0:09:46So, Mr Chicken, tell me, what was Downing Street like back then?

0:09:46 > 0:09:48Cluck-cluck-cluck-CLUCK!

0:09:48 > 0:09:51- Really?- Cluck-cluck-cluck-cluck.

0:09:51 > 0:09:54- Bears?- Cluck-cluck-cluck cluck-cluck-cluck.

0:09:54 > 0:09:58- Why did they learn to drive? - Cluck-CLUCK cluck-CLUCK. CLUCK!

0:09:58 > 0:10:01Yeah, well, I'm not surprised that you left, then!

0:10:01 > 0:10:03Cluck-cluck-cluck.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06Thanks, goodbye. See you, Mr Chicken.

0:10:06 > 0:10:11- Well, what an amazing character. He could write a book.- Mr Reeves.

0:10:11 > 0:10:14Mr Chicken wasn't an actual chicken.

0:10:14 > 0:10:17Well, it's a bit late for that, isn't it?

0:10:17 > 0:10:21Right, any more curious fact about 10 Downing Street?

0:10:21 > 0:10:23Well, Mr Reeves, for security reasons,

0:10:23 > 0:10:27the front door at 10 Downing Street cannot be opened from the outside.

0:10:27 > 0:10:30- It has no handle.- Well, I know that feeling.

0:10:30 > 0:10:34- "Oh, where's my doorknob? Who's nicked me door knob?"- I did.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36I just wanted to see you do that, really.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40- REPORTERS:- Prime Minister! - Prime Minister!

0:10:40 > 0:10:44- Whoa, whoa, whoa - where do you think you're going, mate?- In there.

0:10:44 > 0:10:48- Can you get somebody to let me in? - You think I'm stupid or something?

0:10:48 > 0:10:51- But I'm the Prime Minister. I live here.- Oh, right, mate.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54If I had a quid for every time I heard that one.

0:10:54 > 0:10:58I only popped out to get a pint of milk. I passed you on the way out.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Look, I'm the Prime Minister,

0:11:00 > 0:11:04- and I order YOU to get somebody to let me in.- All right, mate.

0:11:04 > 0:11:07Well, if you live here, how come you don't have a key?

0:11:07 > 0:11:11I don't have a key, nobody does. You have to be let in from the inside.

0:11:11 > 0:11:13Oh, very convenient.

0:11:13 > 0:11:15Have I got 'mug' written on my face or something?

0:11:17 > 0:11:20- Hey, I said no photographs.- All right, Larry, mate? Nice to see you.

0:11:20 > 0:11:25Welcome back. It's all right, it's Larry, you can let him in.

0:11:25 > 0:11:28- It's the Prime Minister's cat. All right, Ronnie?- Yeah.

0:11:28 > 0:11:30No, not you.

0:11:32 > 0:11:36Apparently, there's a rumour he's going to be the next Doctor Who.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38Oh.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40- Can I...?- No.

0:11:41 > 0:11:45Oh, I love Doctor Who. I wonder if I'll ever be the Doctor.

0:11:45 > 0:11:49- And I wonder if I'll ever be a dentist.- Optician.

0:11:49 > 0:11:51This is part of your problem, Mr Reeves.

0:11:51 > 0:11:54You live in a complete fantasy world.

0:11:54 > 0:11:59It's time to come back to reality. It's time to extract the facts.

0:11:59 > 0:12:02Dear Natalia, I'm delighted to enclose some curious stuff

0:12:02 > 0:12:04about 10 Downing Street.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06We discovered that for security reasons,

0:12:06 > 0:12:09the door can only be opened from the inside.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12A secret recipe is used to make the door paint glossy.

0:12:12 > 0:12:16The last private resident of 10 Downing Street

0:12:16 > 0:12:19was called Mr Chicken. And, finally, Larry, the Downing Street,

0:12:19 > 0:12:23has the job of Chief mouser of the Cabinet.

0:12:23 > 0:12:24Right, what's next?

0:12:25 > 0:12:28OK, Mr Frazernagle, any calls on the switchboard?

0:12:28 > 0:12:32Oh, I've got a fantastic call on line three.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34You know what to do.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36Thank you.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry Of Curious Stuff.

0:12:39 > 0:12:44- How might I be of resistance to your pursuit?- Hello, Mr Reeves.

0:12:44 > 0:12:48My name's Thomas and I'd like to know some curious stuff about bees.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Thanks a lot. OK, bye, Tom. Bye.

0:12:51 > 0:12:56Thomas would like to know some curious facts about bees.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05Bees, Length-Width. The smallest of the British birds.

0:13:05 > 0:13:09- No, I don't think they're birds, Mr Reeves.- Are you sure?

0:13:09 > 0:13:13Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I think they're tiny flying pin cushions,

0:13:13 > 0:13:15- I think.- Maybe you're right, yeah.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18- Insects!- That's it. They're insects.

0:13:18 > 0:13:21The most cuddly and colourful of the British insects.

0:13:21 > 0:13:24They've won awards for their colourful cuddliness,

0:13:24 > 0:13:28- haven't they?- They have, yes. They've definitely earned their stripes.

0:13:28 > 0:13:31THEY LAUGH

0:13:34 > 0:13:36Miss Teaparty, curious facts about bees.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39Well, Mr Reeves, the average worker bee produces

0:13:39 > 0:13:44- approximately 1/12 of teaspoon of honey in her life time.- Really?

0:13:44 > 0:13:481/12 of teaspoon? I can't begin to imagine what that looks like.

0:13:48 > 0:13:52- Well, I've got it right here for you.- Have you?- Mh-hm.- Let me see.

0:13:52 > 0:13:59- That is the whole lifetime's work of one bee.- A whole lifetime's work.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05Mmm.

0:14:05 > 0:14:06Got any more?

0:14:06 > 0:14:09Length-Width, you're a disgrace.

0:14:09 > 0:14:10Thank you very much.

0:14:10 > 0:14:13Did you hear how much work went into getting that?

0:14:13 > 0:14:17And, you know, a hive of bees will fly 90,000 miles - that's the

0:14:17 > 0:14:20same as three times around the Earth -

0:14:20 > 0:14:22just to collect 1 kg of honey.

0:14:22 > 0:14:2590,000 miles for 1 kg of honey. That's quite a distance.

0:14:25 > 0:14:28Yeah, they should just pop to the shop round the corner from me.

0:14:28 > 0:14:30They sell honey. It would be a lot quicker.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38Oh, Miss Teaparty, more bee facts, please.

0:14:38 > 0:14:42Well, Mr Reeves, the bee's brain is oval in shape

0:14:42 > 0:14:44and about the size of a sesame seed.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47So, pretty much about the same size as Length-Width's brain.

0:14:47 > 0:14:48Yes.

0:14:48 > 0:14:51Come on, more busy bee facts.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54Honeybees communicate with each other by dancing

0:14:54 > 0:14:56and this is known as the waggle dance and is used to

0:14:56 > 0:14:59point out the location of nearby food sources to each other.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01Well, nothing new there.

0:15:01 > 0:15:05I very often give directions to tourists via the medium of dance.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07Ja, hallo?

0:15:08 > 0:15:11Entschuldigung. Hallo.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Ja, bitte, mein Frau?

0:15:13 > 0:15:16Could you please tell me the way to the jelly festival?

0:15:16 > 0:15:17Yes. You go...

0:15:17 > 0:15:19MAMBO MUSIC PLAYS

0:15:26 > 0:15:28So, we take the second left...

0:15:28 > 0:15:30No.

0:15:30 > 0:15:31You go...

0:15:31 > 0:15:33MAMBO MUSIC PLAYS

0:15:39 > 0:15:42Ah, so we go back the way we came.

0:15:42 > 0:15:44No. You go...

0:15:44 > 0:15:45MAMBO MUSIC PLAYS

0:15:52 > 0:15:54I'm just not getting it at all.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56It's just there. You can see it.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58Oh, ja! Thank you.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01Right, more curious facts on bees, please.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Well, Mr Reeves, there is a law in Kirkland Illinois

0:16:04 > 0:16:07that forbids bees from flying over the town.

0:16:07 > 0:16:08NEWS JINGLE PLAYS

0:16:08 > 0:16:10And joining me via satellite,

0:16:10 > 0:16:16it's Doug Benson who is heading this campaign to have the law overturned.

0:16:16 > 0:16:20- Hi, Vic.- Hi, Doug. So, you're trying to get this law overturned, right?

0:16:20 > 0:16:24Yeah, it's political correctness gone mad. It's a travesty, man.

0:16:24 > 0:16:27And it goes against our basic bee rights.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29BEES: Yeah! Yeah!

0:16:29 > 0:16:32So, how are you going to get them to try and scrap this law?

0:16:32 > 0:16:34We're going to sting everyone. BEES: Yeah!

0:16:34 > 0:16:37No, we're not stinging anyone.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39This is a peaceful protest.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41- Can't we just sting, like, two people?- BEES: Yeah!

0:16:41 > 0:16:47No. No stinging. We are civilised bee. Besides, we are honeybees.

0:16:47 > 0:16:50- If we do sting someone then we might die.- What?

0:16:50 > 0:16:54- Rubbish, you're just making that up. - No, I'm not. Everyone knows that.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56- Nobody told me. - Nobody told me either.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59Wait a second. My buddy Neil stung loads of people and he is fine.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01Yeah, but Neil's a wasp.

0:17:01 > 0:17:02Oh, yeah.

0:17:02 > 0:17:06OK, OK, what will you do if you can't get the law scrapped

0:17:06 > 0:17:09and it remains illegal for you to fly over Kirkland?

0:17:09 > 0:17:11Probably what we have been doing.

0:17:11 > 0:17:12And what is that?

0:17:12 > 0:17:13Just get the bus into town.

0:17:13 > 0:17:15OK. Thank you, Doug.

0:17:15 > 0:17:19Let's hope there is no sting at end of this tale.

0:17:22 > 0:17:27# I saw a bee flying way up high

0:17:27 > 0:17:30# I saw a bee flying high up in the sky

0:17:30 > 0:17:32# We were on board

0:17:32 > 0:17:35# We were on board

0:17:35 > 0:17:41# We were on board that magic bee

0:17:45 > 0:17:49# Through my binoculars I saw that magic bee

0:17:49 > 0:17:54# I tried to see if upon its back was ye

0:17:54 > 0:17:58# But upon his back ye I did not see

0:17:58 > 0:18:06# Cos riding on that bee was me. #

0:18:09 > 0:18:13Mr Reeves, I can't believe you are wasting time

0:18:13 > 0:18:16riding around on the back of a bumblebee.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18If you don't get down to some hard work,

0:18:18 > 0:18:20this ministry will be shut down.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23Now, please, bee-hive.

0:18:23 > 0:18:25Good one.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27It was awful.

0:18:27 > 0:18:31Look, I know that and you know that but she doesn't know that.

0:18:31 > 0:18:32Keep her sweet.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35Let's extract the facts.

0:18:39 > 0:18:40We found out that...

0:18:48 > 0:18:50In fact...

0:18:53 > 0:18:54And...

0:18:58 > 0:19:00That's bees. So what's next?

0:19:00 > 0:19:01Mr Frazernagle,

0:19:01 > 0:19:06surely there must be another caller on the switchboard, duck.

0:19:06 > 0:19:10Ooh, I've got a cracking call on line two. I'll put you through now.

0:19:10 > 0:19:13- PHONE RINGS - Thank you.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry Of Curious Stuff.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19How might it be furtherance to your topic?

0:19:19 > 0:19:20Hello, Mr Reeves.

0:19:20 > 0:19:25My name is Nolwen and I'd like to know some curious stuff about hair.

0:19:25 > 0:19:30Thank you, Nolwen. How very kind of you to enquire. Goodbye. Goodbye.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32Nolwen wants some curious facts on hair.

0:19:38 > 0:19:39Right, curious facts on hair.

0:19:39 > 0:19:43Research suggests there is an average of 100,000 hairs

0:19:43 > 0:19:46on the human head and babies' hair does grow at the same rate

0:19:46 > 0:19:50but, as we age, each hair grows and sheds at different times

0:19:50 > 0:19:53and if they didn't we would go through stages of baldness.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55Really? Hey, Bracegirdle,

0:19:55 > 0:20:00why do you hide that lovely bald head of yours underneath that wig?

0:20:00 > 0:20:01How dare you? I'll have you know

0:20:01 > 0:20:04I'm one of the hairiest women you'll ever meet.

0:20:04 > 0:20:07Quickly moving on.

0:20:07 > 0:20:10Well, Mr Reeves, there is something called werewolf syndrome.

0:20:10 > 0:20:12If you would care to take a look.

0:20:13 > 0:20:1611-year-old Supatra from Thailand is delighted to be officially

0:20:16 > 0:20:19recognised as the world's hairiest girl

0:20:19 > 0:20:22and it has made her very popular at school.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25Yes, I'm very aware of werewolf syndrome.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28In fact, when I first met Captain Length-Width,

0:20:28 > 0:20:30he was absolutely covered in hair,

0:20:30 > 0:20:34lurking in the bushes outside my caravan.

0:20:34 > 0:20:38Then I took him in, gave him a wash, gave him shave.

0:20:38 > 0:20:40This is what he used to look like, actually.

0:20:42 > 0:20:44Mr Reeves, that is just a dog.

0:20:44 > 0:20:46No, I think you'll find that's Captain...

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Ah, yes, you're quite right. That is.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51That's the story of the time that I shaved that dog.

0:20:53 > 0:20:55Come on then, more curious hair facts.

0:20:55 > 0:20:58Well, Mr Reeves, in one book on ancient Rome, it says there were

0:20:58 > 0:21:01people who specialised in armpit plucking with tweezers.

0:21:01 > 0:21:05Research suggests that around 1AD, fashionable Romans used

0:21:05 > 0:21:08to remove all their body hair.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10Bite down on that for me, sweetheart.

0:21:12 > 0:21:15Where are you going on your holiday this year?

0:21:15 > 0:21:17- Aargh! BOTH:- Ssh!

0:21:17 > 0:21:21Well, I really, really can't decide. But I was thinking about Pompeii.

0:21:22 > 0:21:24- Aaargh! BOTH:- Ssh!

0:21:24 > 0:21:26I wouldn't. Muggins here went there last year.

0:21:26 > 0:21:29Mount Vesuvius only erupted.

0:21:29 > 0:21:31OMG. What are the chances?

0:21:32 > 0:21:34- Aaargh! BOTH:- Ssh!

0:21:34 > 0:21:37I know. It's a total frightener, right? Lava everywhere.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39Ruined my flip-flops.

0:21:39 > 0:21:41- Aargh! BOTH:- Ssh!

0:21:41 > 0:21:44Here, what are you doing after lunch?

0:21:44 > 0:21:46I've got a really hairy one coming in at three.

0:21:46 > 0:21:48I think it might be a two-man job.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50- Aaargh! BOTH:- Shut up!

0:21:52 > 0:21:55Right, more curious hair facts, please.

0:21:55 > 0:21:59Well, Mr Reeves, experts found that just 1cm of hair can tell you

0:21:59 > 0:22:02a lot about your behaviour in the past month.

0:22:02 > 0:22:05Things you have eaten, things you drank, where you've been.

0:22:05 > 0:22:07Well, I've got a very keen nose.

0:22:07 > 0:22:10Teaparty, brace yourself, I'm going to have a sniff.

0:22:12 > 0:22:15Ah. You have been eating sponge cake.

0:22:15 > 0:22:17Drinking milk.

0:22:17 > 0:22:19Visiting the zoo.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22A particular cage at the zoo.

0:22:22 > 0:22:23A lot.

0:22:23 > 0:22:27Teaparty, you know you have been banned from that zoo.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30I'm very disappointed.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32Right, quickly moving on.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35Well, Mr Reeves, Mary Antoinette was famous for using her

0:22:35 > 0:22:38decorative wigs to reflect her mood or to mark an event

0:22:38 > 0:22:40occurring in public life at the time,

0:22:40 > 0:22:44such as wearing a ship in her wig to celebrate a battle won at sea.

0:22:44 > 0:22:48Ah, well, now then, we should meet my good close friend

0:22:48 > 0:22:50fashion designer Klaus Kloff,

0:22:50 > 0:22:53who is bringing back the decorative wig.

0:22:53 > 0:22:55And he is here with his new range.

0:22:57 > 0:23:01Famous fashion designer entering through C1, Mr Reeves.

0:23:01 > 0:23:04- Vicky, baby.- Kloffy-kins!

0:23:08 > 0:23:12Kloffy-kins, the whole world wants to know,

0:23:12 > 0:23:14why bring back the decorative wig?

0:23:14 > 0:23:17Well, Vicky-babe, it's just the right time.

0:23:17 > 0:23:20There's a whole buzz going on. You getting me?

0:23:20 > 0:23:21I'm getting you, I'm getting you.

0:23:21 > 0:23:25Let's bring the wig back. Make it cool, make it current.

0:23:25 > 0:23:27Make it hip. You getting me?

0:23:27 > 0:23:29I'm still getting you, I'm still getting you.

0:23:29 > 0:23:32Now, come on, talk us through your new range.

0:23:32 > 0:23:35OK, first up, do you like sausages?

0:23:35 > 0:23:37Do you like potatoes?

0:23:37 > 0:23:39And do you like hair?

0:23:39 > 0:23:42Well, come to mention it, yes, I do.

0:23:42 > 0:23:43Then you're going to love this.

0:23:43 > 0:23:48It's a top-of-the-range bangers and mash wig.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51Complete with gravy sausage toboggan.

0:23:51 > 0:23:55You can turn heads at this year's sausage jamboree.

0:23:55 > 0:24:00- Klaus, you have excelled yourself. It is your finest work yet.- Oh.

0:24:00 > 0:24:03Next up, Vic, do you ever find yourself walking around

0:24:03 > 0:24:06wanting nothing but toast? And you say to yourself,

0:24:06 > 0:24:09"I want toast. I want it now." Does that ever happen to you?

0:24:09 > 0:24:13- More and more each day. - Well then, you are in luck.

0:24:13 > 0:24:19Take a look at this. It's what I like to call my toast toupee.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21Life doesn't get much better

0:24:21 > 0:24:24when you are wig-wearing, toast-making machine.

0:24:24 > 0:24:27Mmm, tsss! Oh, it's hot, baby.

0:24:27 > 0:24:31Klaus, you have excelled yourself. It's your finest work yet.

0:24:31 > 0:24:32You're terrible.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35Finally, Vic, do you ever look in the mirror and say to yourself,

0:24:35 > 0:24:39"I hate my life, it stinks. The only thing that would make it better is

0:24:39 > 0:24:42"if I had a giant ice cream on top of my head?"

0:24:42 > 0:24:47- You know I do. - Well, hallelujah, praise my fingers.

0:24:47 > 0:24:53Take a look at this. It is my hairy dairy ice-cream spectacular.

0:24:53 > 0:24:56You can be the most popular guy at parties as all of your friends

0:24:56 > 0:24:59fight to get a taste of your ice cream wig.

0:24:59 > 0:25:03And I wouldn't be surprised if a rich and famous Texan billionaire

0:25:03 > 0:25:08came through here now and bought your entire range.

0:25:08 > 0:25:11Howdy, I'm a rich and famous Texan billionaire

0:25:11 > 0:25:14and I would like to purchase your fantastical wig collection

0:25:14 > 0:25:17in exchange for this here wheelbarrow full of cash.

0:25:17 > 0:25:19It's a deal!

0:25:19 > 0:25:23Now, if I can just take my wigs, I'll be on my way.

0:25:23 > 0:25:24Ah!

0:25:24 > 0:25:31I'm so sorry. I meant to leave some for everybody else but I'm starving.

0:25:31 > 0:25:34Well, that is a darn shame. I guess you won't be getting all this money.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37I'm too stupidly rich to be bothered taking it back to the bank.

0:25:37 > 0:25:41I'm just going to go tip it in the river. Yee-ha!

0:25:41 > 0:25:43Your best gibbon just ate my finest work and lost me

0:25:43 > 0:25:47a wheelbarrow full of cash. See you in court.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49You'll never take me alive.

0:25:49 > 0:25:53Mr Reeves, if your fashion show is quite finished,

0:25:53 > 0:25:55it is time to extract some facts.

0:25:59 > 0:26:01We found out that...

0:26:11 > 0:26:13And...

0:26:16 > 0:26:19That's curious stuff about hair.

0:26:19 > 0:26:22And that is what you call fact extraction.

0:26:22 > 0:26:24Thank you, Miss Bracegirdle.

0:26:24 > 0:26:27Oh, no, no, no, no, no, thank you, Mr Reeves,

0:26:27 > 0:26:29for you've been very busy today, horsing around

0:26:29 > 0:26:33and it has, of course, gone in my report for the Megaboss.

0:26:33 > 0:26:35Today's crimes -

0:26:35 > 0:26:39operating smoking chimneys on Ministry property,

0:26:39 > 0:26:42buzzing around on the back of a bee

0:26:42 > 0:26:46and snacking on designer headgear.

0:26:46 > 0:26:49I'm sure the Megaboss will be very interested to read that.

0:26:50 > 0:26:56But, I must admit, we have extracted some wonderfully curious facts.

0:26:56 > 0:26:59Yes, we have extracted some wonderfully curious facts

0:26:59 > 0:27:01but, I'm afraid, now it's time to go.

0:27:01 > 0:27:04Don't forget to post our findings to our callers, Mr Reeves.

0:27:04 > 0:27:07- Of course, thank you. - And what are your plans tonight?

0:27:07 > 0:27:11Tonight, I thought I would do some flower pressing with Kim.

0:27:11 > 0:27:16I mean, I'm going to do some bench presses at the gym. Yes.

0:27:21 > 0:27:23- Goodbye, everybody. - Goodbye, Mr Reeves.

0:27:40 > 0:27:43Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd