0:00:02 > 0:00:03PHONE RINGS
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff,
0:00:08 > 0:00:11we explore any subject you desire,
0:00:11 > 0:00:14and deliver top-quality curious facts.
0:00:16 > 0:00:20On hand, our dedicated team - Lovett,
0:00:20 > 0:00:23Teaparty, Frazernagle on the calls,
0:00:23 > 0:00:24Wannamaker in the walls.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27And, of course, Captain Length-Width.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35That's Miss Bracegirdle.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38She's been sent by head office
0:00:38 > 0:00:41to investigate our work and compile a report.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45If we fail to impress, the Megaboss will shut the Ministry down.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Let's not dillydally, there's lots to do!
0:00:50 > 0:00:54Welcome to Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Good morning, everybody.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Morning, Mr Reeves.
0:00:58 > 0:01:02- Good morning, Mr Reeves.- Morning, Mr Reeves.- Good morning, Mr Reeves.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Miss Teaparty, what are the headlines today?
0:01:04 > 0:01:08Well, Mr Reeves, a blue whale's heart is the size of an elephant.
0:01:08 > 0:01:10No!
0:01:10 > 0:01:13- There are about 7,000 languages in the world.- No!
0:01:13 > 0:01:15And your mother rang for you -
0:01:15 > 0:01:17you've left your Flower Princess lunchbox behind
0:01:17 > 0:01:19and she'll pop in with it later.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Mr Reeves, if you don't get down to some work soon
0:01:24 > 0:01:28it'll be going in the report, and the Megaboss will not be happy...
0:01:29 > 0:01:31What on earth?
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Where did that come from?!
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Well, I'm surprised we didn't notice that before!
0:01:39 > 0:01:43This is a complete disregard for Ministry property
0:01:43 > 0:01:45and will not be tolerated!
0:01:45 > 0:01:48I demand an investigation forthwith, Mr Reeves!
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Calm down, Miss Bracegirdle.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54It's only a little bit of graffiti. It's not true, is it?
0:01:54 > 0:01:56It's a bucket of lies.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00I'll have you know I emit a variety of different aromas,
0:02:00 > 0:02:03some good as well as bad, and some unidentified.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Ha!
0:02:05 > 0:02:07I demand the culprit is found.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12In the meantime, I suggest you all get on with some work!
0:02:12 > 0:02:14- Very well, very well. - BELL DINGS
0:02:18 > 0:02:21Mr Frazernagle, you don't know anything
0:02:21 > 0:02:26- about this graffiti, do you? - Not a Scooby, Sir! Nice work, though.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Yeah, it's not bad actually, is it?
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Any callers on the line, Mr Frazernagle?
0:02:30 > 0:02:33There's a fantastic call coming through on line 4.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35I'll put you through now.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37PHONE RINGS
0:02:37 > 0:02:41Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44How might I be of usage to your point at issue?
0:02:44 > 0:02:47Hello, Mr Reeves. My name is Ella.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Can you tell me some curious stuff about love?
0:02:49 > 0:02:54What a marvellous question. Thank you very much. Goodbye.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58Ella wants to know some curious facts about love.
0:02:58 > 0:03:03- Length-Width, how do you know when you're in love?- Oh, you just know.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07You just know. I mean, you just know.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- You just know.- You just know.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13You get that special feeling in your tummy
0:03:13 > 0:03:17and that feeling gets so big that all you can do
0:03:17 > 0:03:19is go and sit on the toilet.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22That's right... That's not when you know you're in love,
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- that's when you know you want to poo!- Is it?- Yes.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29Well, I love having a poo. Speaking of which, see you in a minute.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Right.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38Right, OK, team. Let's have some curious facts about love.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47OK. What do we know about love?
0:03:47 > 0:03:48Well, Mr Reeves,
0:03:48 > 0:03:51it was reported that, unfortunately for one Chinese lady,
0:03:51 > 0:03:54being in love was bad for her hearing,
0:03:54 > 0:03:56and just one kiss made her deaf!
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Really?
0:03:59 > 0:04:00Back in a minute.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Hello, Vic. Where are you off to?
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- None of your business.- Whatever.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25HOOTS HORN
0:04:28 > 0:04:30APPLAUSE
0:04:31 > 0:04:35Well, it didn't happen quite like that, Mr Reeves.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38The kiss created pressure in her head so severe
0:04:38 > 0:04:43that her left eardrum burst, leaving her deaf in one ear.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Yes, all this is correct. A Chinese newspaper reported,
0:04:47 > 0:04:49while kissing is normally very safe,
0:04:49 > 0:04:52doctors advise people to proceed with caution.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Right. Now then.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58What she should have done is what I do to avoid such dangers.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01If I'm going to take out a pretty lady,
0:05:01 > 0:05:07and I might be expecting a little kiss, I wear ear defenders.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09And I make sure that she does, as well.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Let me demonstrate on Captain Length-Width.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13This is how to romance.
0:05:16 > 0:05:17I'd like to kiss you.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19What?
0:05:19 > 0:05:22I said I really like you, and I want to kiss you.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25You miss me? Yes, yes. I miss you, too.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27It's all right. I have a mountain bike.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31- You can get on the back of that. - No, no, I haven't got an Uncle Mike.
0:05:31 > 0:05:36- It's parked round by the bins. - Yes, I've just been for a poo.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- And I love you, too.- Ooh!
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Romance doesn't get smoother than that.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Mr Reeves, can we keep on track?
0:05:43 > 0:05:46We need to find some facts about love.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Right. What about monkeys in love?
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Because you know bonobo apes often lock lips and French kiss?
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Ooh-ho-ho-ho!
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Apes are smooching right above me in C12.
0:06:03 > 0:06:08Ah, so romantic. It remains me of when I was a young ape in love.
0:06:08 > 0:06:13The two young bonobo apes kiss in a show of affection
0:06:13 > 0:06:15similar to that of human beings.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19What in the name of Total Wipeout?
0:06:19 > 0:06:22- Hello, young man.- Yes, um...
0:06:22 > 0:06:25David Battenberg, BBC wildlife presenter.
0:06:25 > 0:06:29- What are you doing creeping up on me in my Ministry?- Oh, no!
0:06:29 > 0:06:32It's him! Battenberg's followed us again.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35Can't you leave us alone for one second?
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- Sorry, I'm just doing my job!- What, camping out in our back garden?
0:06:39 > 0:06:43- Following us to the supermarket? - Filming me on the bog?!
0:06:43 > 0:06:46That's doing your job, is it, you weirdo?
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Sounds like you should leave them alone, give them a bit of peace.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53Yes. I'm sorry if I got on your nerves.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57I just like following big, hairy things around and talking about them.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00- I know how you feel. - I won't bother you again.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03There you are. All sorted. Drama over.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Thank you, Mr Reeves.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09Anything I can do to help a young pair of bonobo apes in love.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15The savage creature picks up a pen.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Has this dumb, Neanderthal beast
0:07:18 > 0:07:21finally learned to write his own name?
0:07:23 > 0:07:26The creature has spotted me. It doesn't look happy.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30Maybe this was a bad idea.
0:07:30 > 0:07:35Perhaps I, Sir David Battenberg, should leg it!
0:07:35 > 0:07:39- Boo! - APE-LIKE SCREAMS
0:07:42 > 0:07:44That was a little over the top.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48OK, Ministry, any final facts on how we know when we are in love?
0:07:48 > 0:07:51Well, Mr Reeves, when you're in love,
0:07:51 > 0:07:55- a natural chemical called dopamine stimulates the brain.- Really?
0:07:55 > 0:07:57And how does that work, I wonder?
0:07:57 > 0:08:00The release of the chemical creates the feeling of wanting something...
0:08:00 > 0:08:02GASPS
0:08:02 > 0:08:03I want you, baby!
0:08:03 > 0:08:05- ..elation...- Hooray!
0:08:05 > 0:08:07- ..motivation...- Come on!
0:08:07 > 0:08:09- ..giddiness... - Oh! I feel quite...
0:08:09 > 0:08:11..and cravings.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13I'm hungry!
0:08:13 > 0:08:14Thank you very much, Teaparty.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17We're getting married and moving to Ipswich.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20- You do know that's an ape? - Oh, forget it.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23They're perfectly suited, if you ask me. Ha ha ha!
0:08:23 > 0:08:25No?
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Let's extract the facts.
0:08:28 > 0:08:29Dear Ella.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33I'm delighted to enclose some curious stuff about love.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37We discovered that a kiss once created so much pressure
0:08:37 > 0:08:40in a lady's head that her eardrum burst.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Bonobo apes often lock lips and kiss.
0:08:43 > 0:08:48When people are in love, a natural chemical called dopamine
0:08:48 > 0:08:52stimulates the brain and makes them act in certain ways.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56So, that's curious stuff about love. What's next?
0:08:56 > 0:09:00- You know, whoever did this has got great talent.- Yes.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04- Great use of colour.- Oh, come on!
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Admit it. You did this graffiti.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09- Whoa!- Whoa! - Whoa, steady on, toots.
0:09:09 > 0:09:10You're living in a fairy tale.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Come on. Let's get on with some work.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Oooh.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19Right, Frazernagle, any callers on the switchboard, please?
0:09:19 > 0:09:23I have a splendid call coming through on line 3.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25- PHONE RINGS - Thank you.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33- How might I be of expedition to your topic?- Hello, Mr Reeves.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35My name's Oscar, and I'd like to know
0:09:35 > 0:09:37some curious stuff about sleepwalking.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41Thank you, Oscar. Very good question. Thank you.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42Goodbye.
0:09:42 > 0:09:47Oscar wants to know any curious facts we might have on sleepwalking.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Let's see what we can find out.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Length-Width! Length-Width, wake up.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Oh, I'm so sorry.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01I go sleepwalking, you know. It's a bit embarrassing.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- Oh, come on, it's fine. - It's embarrassing.- Really?
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Yeah. I drink milk.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09There's nothing embarrassing about drinking milk.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12- Straight from the cow. - Oh, that's not so good. No, no.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16Mr Reeves, when you've quite finished mucking about
0:10:16 > 0:10:18with your pork-pie-faced stooge,
0:10:18 > 0:10:23this graffiti needs sorting out, and if you don't do it, I will.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- The culprit must be found! - All right!
0:10:26 > 0:10:29I am Chief Detective Inspector Fowler
0:10:29 > 0:10:33of the Leeds, Lowestoft, and Los Angeles NYPD.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35I hear there's been a dirty crime committed here.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Let me see the offence in question.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Ah. This appears to be the work of the sleep-doodler.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46What a rotter! I don't know how they sleep at night.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Well, actually, it says here,
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Lee Hadwin from North Wales is a nurse by day
0:10:51 > 0:10:54but at night he's a sleepwalking artist.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56He's been drawing in his sleep since the age of four
0:10:56 > 0:10:59with no recollection of it the next morning.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01So, Mr Reeves...
0:11:01 > 0:11:04- Call me Mr Inspector Fowler. - Yes, Mr Inspector Fowler,
0:11:04 > 0:11:08if you can't remember it, then surely the sleep-doodler could be anyone.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Yes. That's right.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12And, due to my investigations,
0:11:12 > 0:11:16I can confirm that the sleep-doodler is in fact....
0:11:20 > 0:11:21..somebody in this room.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23ALL GASP, THUNDER CRACKS
0:11:23 > 0:11:26Hey! Would you turn that off?
0:11:26 > 0:11:31- What is that, anyway?- Now That's What I Call Weather 2007.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34OK. Now, to catch a sleep-doodler
0:11:34 > 0:11:37you've got to think like a sleep-doodler.
0:11:37 > 0:11:41You've got to get inside his mind and roll about a little bit.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43OK, what have we got?
0:11:43 > 0:11:45According to a US study,
0:11:45 > 0:11:50sleepwalking affects 29% of people at least once in their lives,
0:11:50 > 0:11:53and boys are more likely to sleepwalk than girls are.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Yes. It's also more likely to occur
0:11:55 > 0:11:57in children than teenagers and adults.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Well, there's only one child in here
0:11:59 > 0:12:02and he's wearing the silly sailor's cap.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Objection in court!
0:12:05 > 0:12:08That chick's really getting my goat. She's trying to stitch me up.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12Is she, Length-Width? Is she? Are you quite sure about that?
0:12:12 > 0:12:16I'm quite sure I don't know what you're insinuating, Inspector Fowler.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Then allow me to present exhibit A.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21ALL GASP
0:12:21 > 0:12:22Paint!
0:12:22 > 0:12:26Of the same shade of colour as the cheeky graffiti.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Well, there are hundreds of ways
0:12:28 > 0:12:31I could have got that paint on my face, Inspector Fowler.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34I could have wrestled with a painter,
0:12:34 > 0:12:37- or I could have simply walked through a rainbow.- That is true.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Which brings me to exhibit B.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43- More paint!- Or is it?
0:12:43 > 0:12:48Further investigation revealed that this is not brown paint, but gravy.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50- Gravy?- Yes.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52In a shocking twist,
0:12:52 > 0:12:56I can reveal that the sleep-doodler
0:12:56 > 0:12:58is also a sleepy chef.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Someone who cooks in the night?!
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Yes! Mr Ree... Mr Inspector Fowler is right.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09It says here there are people who cook in their sleep,
0:13:09 > 0:13:12and that Robert Wood is a sleepwalking chef from Fife.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15He cooks all my favourites - stir-fry, omelette,
0:13:15 > 0:13:18and spaghetti Bolognese, all in his sleep.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21I'm not a midnight chef. You've got no proof.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Oh, yeah? How about this, taken last night?
0:13:24 > 0:13:27SNORING
0:13:31 > 0:13:33AMERICAN ACCENT: OK, you got me!
0:13:33 > 0:13:36I'll come clean, I'm the midnight chef.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37I cook when I'm asleep.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Breakfast, lunch, steak dinner - you name it, I've cooked it.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43And I'd do it all again, too, in a heartbeat if I had to!
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Why are you American?
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Well, it just seemed appropriate...
0:13:48 > 0:13:51A-ha! I knew it! I told you it was him!
0:13:51 > 0:13:53And you were absolutely right.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Apart from one thing.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- ALL:- What?
0:13:57 > 0:13:59You are absolutely and completely wrong.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01ALL GASP
0:14:01 > 0:14:02What do you mean?!
0:14:02 > 0:14:06The gravy in this footprint is one of the most delicious things
0:14:06 > 0:14:10I've ever tasted, and Length-Width here can't cook for toffee.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12He's right, you know.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15So, you're telling me Fishbrain is innocent?
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Of the graffiti, yes.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21But crimes against cookery is a different kettle of pork.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Well, what kind of idiot does something as dangerous
0:14:24 > 0:14:26as climb a great height whilst asleep?
0:14:26 > 0:14:30People have climbed to dangerous heights in their sleep before.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33A girl of 15 once climbed a 130-foot crane in her sleep.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37Yes, it would probably be somebody you would least expect
0:14:37 > 0:14:39to do a dangerous stunt.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41And, in this case,
0:14:41 > 0:14:47somebody who harbours a bottled-up frustration against Bracegirdle.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Sound familiar, Miss Teaparty?
0:14:50 > 0:14:52ALL GASP
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Honestly, I've got no idea what you're talking about.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Well, maybe this will refresh your memory.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09You have to believe me! Honestly! I had no idea!
0:15:09 > 0:15:11I knew it!
0:15:11 > 0:15:15As soon as I knew we were looking for a daredevil sleep-doodler
0:15:15 > 0:15:17I straightaway thought Teaparty.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21She's always resented me for my sparkling charm and good looks.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23I demand she be fired immediately.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25And so she should.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Apart from one small thing.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29ALL: What?
0:15:29 > 0:15:30She didn't do it.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34But the evidence all points to her! How could it not be her?
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Because, even in her sleep,
0:15:37 > 0:15:40Teaparty's just too nice.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Oh! Shucks! What can I say?
0:15:43 > 0:15:44I guess I am pretty nice.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Who did it, then?
0:15:46 > 0:15:50Somebody who's been under our nose this whole time.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53ALL: Who?
0:15:53 > 0:15:56- You! - GASPS
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Oh, right. OK.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00SHE SCREAMS
0:16:00 > 0:16:03What makes you think I would climb a ladder and write
0:16:03 > 0:16:08- offensive graffiti about myself in my sleep?- Well, this.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17The tape is fake!
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Camera trickery! Special effects!
0:16:20 > 0:16:22The paintbrush is still in your hand.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24GASPS
0:16:24 > 0:16:25So, Miss Bracegirdle,
0:16:25 > 0:16:28what have you got to say for yourself?
0:16:28 > 0:16:31- I...- Good.
0:16:31 > 0:16:32Let's keep it that way.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34What a drama!
0:16:38 > 0:16:42# The things you do When you're asleep
0:16:42 > 0:16:46# Like cooking fish And shearing sheep
0:16:46 > 0:16:49# Taming lions and eating sweets
0:16:49 > 0:16:54# Juggling water in your knees
0:16:54 > 0:16:57# Sleep, sleepwalker
0:16:57 > 0:17:00# Sleep, sleepwalker
0:17:01 > 0:17:03# Sleep, sleep. #
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Wakey-wakey, Mr Reeves. Rise and shine!
0:17:07 > 0:17:11Time to stop all this messing about and extract the facts.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Dear Oscar, I'm delighted
0:17:13 > 0:17:16to enclose some curious stuff about sleepwalking.
0:17:16 > 0:17:2129% of people sleepwalk at least once in their life.
0:17:21 > 0:17:25Children are more likely to sleepwalk than teenagers or adults,
0:17:25 > 0:17:27and boys more than girls.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30People have also been known to do strange things in their sleep,
0:17:30 > 0:17:35like artwork, cooking, and even sleepwalking at great heights.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39So, that's curious sleepwalking. What's next?
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Ah, Monsieur Le Frazernagle,
0:17:43 > 0:17:46have we got any callers on the switchboard, please?
0:17:46 > 0:17:50I have a splendid call on line 3.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53- PHONE RINGS - Thank you.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01- How might I be of usage to your probing question?- Hello, Mr Reeves.
0:18:01 > 0:18:06My name's Ezra, and I'd like to know some curious stuff about faces.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Ta very much, Ezra. Bye.
0:18:08 > 0:18:12Ezra wants to know some curious facts about faces.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14That's faces.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21- Length-Width.- Mmm?
0:18:21 > 0:18:26Has anyone ever told you that you have the face of an angel?
0:18:26 > 0:18:32Beautiful, yet rugged, noble, yet beatific.
0:18:32 > 0:18:37It is, in essence, the face of a Greek God.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41- Really?- No!
0:18:41 > 0:18:42LAUGHS
0:18:42 > 0:18:47Ha ha ha! If I had a face like yours I'd bury it!
0:18:48 > 0:18:50- Ha ha ha!- Really!
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Right, come on. Any curious facts on faces, please?
0:18:53 > 0:18:57Delighted you finally asked, Mr Reeves. I have one.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01The human face can create thousands of different expressions.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04People can interpret even the tiniest detail.
0:19:04 > 0:19:08Yes, and Length-Width and I will attempt to show you
0:19:08 > 0:19:12each and every one of those facial expressions.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Number one. Happy.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16Number two. Sad.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19Number three. Fear.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Number four. Angry.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Number 152. Shock,
0:19:27 > 0:19:30with an element of fear, and sadness.
0:19:32 > 0:19:33Number 153.
0:19:33 > 0:19:38Anger, with a bit of surprise, a touch of excitement,
0:19:38 > 0:19:41a hint of revulsion, a dollop of guilt
0:19:41 > 0:19:45and the tiniest portion of confusion.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Facial expression 3,877.
0:19:51 > 0:19:56The smell of this banana has overpowered my lunchbox.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02Facial expression 3,878.
0:20:02 > 0:20:06I'm considering whether to take this caravan holiday.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08SUCKING THUMP
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Oh! Oh, dear. I think my face has got stuck.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Don't worry. I'll go and get the doctor.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Ministry Doctor arriving in C1, Mr Reeves.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21I came as soon as I felt like it.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Let me take a look at you.
0:20:25 > 0:20:26Hmm, yes.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30I'd say from his face he's considering whether or not
0:20:30 > 0:20:32to take a caravan holiday.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34He's strained his expression gland.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36He'll be stuck like that for a while.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Is there nothing you can do, Doctor?
0:20:39 > 0:20:41Well, there might be one thing.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46There!
0:20:48 > 0:20:50There, there!
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Did the ickle doctor make it all better?
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Nope. Didn't work. Sorry.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01- Do you know, I'm not happy about this.- Really?
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Cos you look like you're deciding
0:21:03 > 0:21:05whether to go on a caravan holiday or not.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Right, any more cuties facts on faces, please?
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Yes, Mr Reeves. Smiling reduces stress and can even make us
0:21:11 > 0:21:13appear younger and more attractive.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16It releases endorphins, which are chemicals in the body
0:21:16 > 0:21:19which make us feel good and signal that all is well.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Hear that, Bracegirdle? Why don't you try smiling once in a while?
0:21:22 > 0:21:26Smiling is not an activity for the workplace, Mr Reeves.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28I keep my joy locked tightly inside.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32Yeah, I bet you've never smiled once, you miserable-flavoured lemon.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35I'll have you know that it has been said that my smile
0:21:35 > 0:21:39will make gentlemen's knees buckle and birds sing.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42- And ships sink.- Fine.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44You want to see a killer smile?
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Get ready for a bit of Bracegirdle perfection.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50CREAKING
0:21:50 > 0:21:52GROANING
0:21:56 > 0:22:00CREAKING
0:22:00 > 0:22:02STRAINING
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Enough! Enough!
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Enough!
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Now I know what evil looks like.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Miss Teaparty.
0:22:13 > 0:22:18Miss Teaparty! Another curious face fact, please, quick!
0:22:18 > 0:22:19Sorry.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23Well, when a clown joins Clown International,
0:22:23 > 0:22:26the oldest established club for clowns,
0:22:26 > 0:22:29they register their clown face by painting it on an egg!
0:22:29 > 0:22:33Yes! And I have designed my own clown face, as well.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35And it's a beauty!
0:22:35 > 0:22:38I intend to get it registered at the clown club.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42In fact, I'll go and do that right now. You can't stop me.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Ah, Mr Reeves. Nice to see you again.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58ELECTRICITY SIZZLES
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Sorry! Clown humour. What can I do for you?
0:23:01 > 0:23:04Well, I've come up with a clown face design,
0:23:04 > 0:23:07and I'd like to have it registered, please.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09HE SIGHS: Vic, Vic, Vic.
0:23:09 > 0:23:14You've got to stop doing this to yourself! Face facts!
0:23:14 > 0:23:19- You're never going to be a professional clown.- I can learn, sir.
0:23:19 > 0:23:23You don't learn it. It's either in you or it's not.
0:23:23 > 0:23:27And it's not in you.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30Your slipping on a banana skin is substandard,
0:23:30 > 0:23:32and your horn honking...
0:23:32 > 0:23:33HONKS
0:23:33 > 0:23:36..is plainly amateurish. I'm sorry.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38It's never going to happen.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41Could you at least just have a look at it?
0:23:41 > 0:23:43All right, give it here.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Isn't that the funniest face you've ever seen?
0:23:48 > 0:23:50- I don't think so.- Why not?
0:23:50 > 0:23:52I have my reasons.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55Ah, I see you've already got a clown face like it.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57What? No, I don't think we do.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01Yeah. There's a picture of a lad wearing it on your desk there.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04That's my wife!
0:24:04 > 0:24:07I didn't know your wife was a clown!
0:24:07 > 0:24:09She isn't!
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Give my regards to your wife.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15She's got a name, you know!
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Bonzo.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25Well, that was a right waste of time. Come on.
0:24:25 > 0:24:30- Any more curious face facts, people? - Mr Reeves, I have one.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33In German folklore, doppelganger means double-walker,
0:24:33 > 0:24:36another self that exists elsewhere in the world
0:24:36 > 0:24:39- and looks just like you. Like a lookalike.- Doppelganger?
0:24:39 > 0:24:42I find that very hard to believe.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44DOORBELL RINGS
0:24:44 > 0:24:47A guest has just arrived at the ministry, Mr Reeves.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50- What? We're not expecting anyone, who is it?- That's the thing.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54- It's Captain Length-Width coming through C1.- What?!
0:24:58 > 0:25:02My very own doppelganger! I don't believe it.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05So you're the other me, are you? Look, will you just decide
0:25:05 > 0:25:07whether or not you're going on this caravan holiday?
0:25:07 > 0:25:09I don't want to go on a caravan holiday.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Well, it certainly looks like you're considering it!
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Well, I'm not!
0:25:14 > 0:25:17All right, all right. No need to get funny about it.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20I'm just saying, if you want to go on a caravanning holiday,
0:25:20 > 0:25:22then just go.
0:25:22 > 0:25:23I will, then!
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Look at this dump.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30What a miserable place.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Looks like I turned up just in time.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Excuse me, what do you mean?
0:25:35 > 0:25:41I am taking over the Ministry of Curious Stuff!
0:25:44 > 0:25:46I haven't even got a caravan!
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Oh!
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Well done, Length-Width, that was a close one.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55- Face is back to normal. - Yeah. Funny thing was,
0:25:55 > 0:25:58it wasn't even stuck. I'd just forgotten to move it.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00It can happen.
0:26:00 > 0:26:04Oh, another heap of confusing nonsense.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Let's do our best to extract the facts.
0:26:06 > 0:26:12Dear Ezra, I'm delighted to enclose some curious stuff about faces.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15The human face can create thousands of different expressions,
0:26:15 > 0:26:19and we can interpret even the tiniest detail.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Smiling reduces stress and can make us
0:26:21 > 0:26:25appear younger and more attractive.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29Clowns register their clown face by painting it on an egg.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31And in German folklore,
0:26:31 > 0:26:36a doppelganger refers to someone who looks just like you!
0:26:38 > 0:26:40So, that's curious stuff about faces.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44And that is what you call fact extraction.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45Thank you, Miss Bracegirdle.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48Oh, no, no, thank you, Mr Reeves, for as usual
0:26:48 > 0:26:51there's been a lot of pointless horsing around
0:26:51 > 0:26:54which has gone straight in my little report.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Makes for very interesting reading.
0:26:56 > 0:27:02But, I must admit, we have extracted some wonderfully curious facts.
0:27:02 > 0:27:06Yes, we have, we have extracted some wonderfully curious facts.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Well done, team. But I'm afraid now it's time to go.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12Don't forget to post our findings to our callers, Mr Reeves.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15- Thank you, Miss Teaparty. - And what are your plans for tonight?
0:27:15 > 0:27:19Tonight, I thought I might write a poem about a lily pond.
0:27:19 > 0:27:25I mean, I mean, I'm... I'm going to ride a puma around Liverpool!
0:27:30 > 0:27:33- Goodbye, everybody! - Goodbye, Mr Reeves!
0:27:54 > 0:27:58Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd