0:00:02 > 0:00:03PHONE RINGS
0:00:05 > 0:00:10Here at the Ministry Of Curious Stuff, we explore any subject
0:00:10 > 0:00:14you desire and deliver top quality curious facts.
0:00:17 > 0:00:21On hand, our dedicated team - Lovett, Teaparty,
0:00:21 > 0:00:24Frazernagle on the calls, Wannamaker in the walls,
0:00:24 > 0:00:26and of course, Captain Length-Width.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36That's Miss Bracegirdle.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39She's been sent by head office to investigate our work
0:00:39 > 0:00:41and compile a report.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44If we fail to impress, the Megaboss will shut the ministry down.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51Let's not dillydally, there's lots to do.
0:00:51 > 0:00:55Welcome to the Ministry Of Curious Stuff.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Good morning, everybody!
0:00:57 > 0:00:59- Good morning, Mr Reeves. - Good morning, Mr Reeves.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02- Good morning, Mr Reeves. - Good morning, Mr Reeves.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04What are the headlines today, Miss Teaparty?
0:01:04 > 0:01:08Well, starfish haven't got brains,
0:01:08 > 0:01:11there are more mobile phones in Britain than there are people,
0:01:11 > 0:01:14and I've hidden a tin of sweetcorn underneath my hat.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17Miss Teaparty, really!
0:01:17 > 0:01:20- Oh! Ah! Ah! Hey, Length-Width! - What is it?
0:01:20 > 0:01:22My man, give me five!
0:01:22 > 0:01:25- No problem.- Give me £5.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28- All right, there you are.- Thank you.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Very well, very well.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41TUBA BLARES
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Clear off!
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Mr Reeves, when you're quite finished larking with your clown,
0:01:48 > 0:01:51the working day has begun.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54And also, could I draw your attention to the paperwork
0:01:54 > 0:01:58- I asked you to sign?- What about it? - You haven't signed it.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02- It's very important you do it as soon as possible.- I'll do it later.
0:02:05 > 0:02:06BELL DINGS
0:02:11 > 0:02:15- Good morning, Mr Frazernagle! - Morning, Mr Reeves.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Any calls coming through on the switchboard?
0:02:17 > 0:02:21I have a splendid call coming through on line three.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- PHONE RINGS - Thank you.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry Of Curious Stuff.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30How might I be of convenience to your investigation?
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Hello, Mr Reeves. My name is Divine
0:02:33 > 0:02:36and I'd like to know some curious stuff about bravery.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Ah! Very good, Divine. Thank you for your enquiry.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43Divine wants to know some curious facts about bravery.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Let's get to it.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52OK, any curious facts on bravery yet?
0:02:52 > 0:02:56Well, Mr Reeves, a very brave person from history was Joan of Arc.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Whilst just a teenager, she led the French army
0:02:58 > 0:03:00to numerous victories in the Hundred Years' War,
0:03:00 > 0:03:03which paved the way for the coronation of Charles VII of France.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06What a very brave teenager! Do you know what?
0:03:06 > 0:03:09I'd like to meet this Joan of Arc.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11And I think I will.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24SNOW CRUNCHES
0:03:32 > 0:03:34DOORBELL RINGS
0:03:34 > 0:03:39TELEVISION: ..around 50,000 at the height of the season...
0:03:39 > 0:03:42- Ah, hello. Are you Mr Of Arc? - I'm Joan's father, yes.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44I was wondering if I might have a word with her, please.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Oh, no, no, no, she's grounded. She's not allowed visitors.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50- Oh! Please, come on, please? - All right, all right, five minutes.
0:03:52 > 0:03:57- JOAN?- What?- There's some strange goblin here to see you.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59You get down here this minute, young lady.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02You can't speak to me like that. I'm a saint!
0:04:02 > 0:04:05They wouldn't have made you a saint if they had to live with you.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07VIC CHUCKLES
0:04:07 > 0:04:08What?
0:04:08 > 0:04:11I wondered if I could talk to you about your bravery.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Don't think so, mate. I don't talk to losers. I'm off out.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16You're going nowhere, young lady. You're grounded.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18But it's the Hundred Years' War, all my mates are going.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20I don't care. Sit down!
0:04:23 > 0:04:25All right, granddad, you can arks me your questions,
0:04:25 > 0:04:27but don't take too long cos Hollyoaks is on in a minute.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29All right, OK.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32So what's life like being the bravest teenager in history?
0:04:32 > 0:04:33Yeah, pretty sweet.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36When I'm not fighting with my crew and ting, I'm just chillaxing.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Or listening to One Direction every hour of the day and night.
0:04:39 > 0:04:44I don't listen to One Direction. Those boys are girls, I'm a warrior.
0:04:44 > 0:04:45So what do warriors listen to, then?
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Dizzee Rascal, Tinie Tempah, that kind of a ting.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Oh, yes, I know exactly that kind of...ting.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54- I'm very switched on to that sort of groove.- Specifically what?
0:04:54 > 0:04:56- Busy Biscuit? Dizzee Rascal, is that what you mean?- Yes.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58You're such a liar, right?
0:04:58 > 0:05:02- Making out you like my music in order to impress me. Liar!- Yeah?
0:05:02 > 0:05:06You're the liar because you really, really, really, really,
0:05:06 > 0:05:08really like One Direction.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Nah! What are you talking about? They're losers!
0:05:11 > 0:05:14You won't mind if I do this then. Oh, look.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- It's just a poster, who cares? - Sorry about that, Leicester.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20That's fine, I don't even care. His name isn't Leicester.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23I've just scratched out Algernon. Oh, no! What's happened to him?
0:05:23 > 0:05:24Yeah, that's absolutely fine.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26- Oh, and who is that?- NO! Harry!
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Mr Reeves, sorry to interrupt your research.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Can I remind you about the very urgent paperwork
0:05:34 > 0:05:38- I need you to sign immediately. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll do it later.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Right, come on then, more curious facts on bravery, please.
0:05:41 > 0:05:42Ooh! Here's something, Mr Reeves.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46Only the bravest people order fugu or pufferfish in Japan.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49The wrong preparation can cause death
0:05:49 > 0:05:52so only specially qualified chefs are allowed to prepare it.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56Actually, eating fugu is easy. You want to see brave? Watch this.
0:06:03 > 0:06:04Mm?
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Aren't they just fishfingers, Mr Reeves?
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Yeah, but it was brave for two reasons.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13One - I really, really hate fishfingers.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17And two - if my mam caught me stuffing my face before dinner,
0:06:17 > 0:06:19she'd go ballistic.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22And if you'd met my mam, you'd know how brave that was.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24I have, and I do.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26OK, give us another bravery fact.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30Dorobo hunters in Kenya steal food from the Lions.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31They approach them
0:06:31 > 0:06:34and take the fresh kill from right underneath their noses.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37Their confident approach, though, scares the lions away
0:06:37 > 0:06:40and they walk off with the food, unharmed.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44Right, well I think we should talk to a couple of these Dorobo hunters.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Dorobo hunters loading in B7, Mr Reeves.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Oh, er, sorry, you just missed them.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55- LION BURPS - Just missed them?
0:06:55 > 0:06:58- Yeah, I haven't eaten them or anything.- I didn't say you had.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Good because I haven't.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04- Can you pass a message on to them for me?- Probably not.
0:07:04 > 0:07:05Hmm.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09- Well thanks for your help anyway. - No worries.- Cheers, see you.
0:07:09 > 0:07:10See you.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13< I'll tell you what, Sean, I shouldn't have eaten two of them.
0:07:13 > 0:07:19- < I'm stuffed!- Whoa!- Ah. They can still hear me out there, can't they?
0:07:19 > 0:07:22- That's awkward.- Yeah.
0:07:22 > 0:07:27Ho-ho-ho! Those hunters may be brave, but, boy, are they unlucky.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31Mr Reeves, this paperwork really does need signing immediately.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Don't make me come down there.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37- Right, let's have another curious fact on bravery, please.- Right!
0:07:37 > 0:07:40Well, there's an American woman with a very rare genetic disease
0:07:40 > 0:07:43which has caused the part of her brain which processes fear
0:07:43 > 0:07:46to waste away so nothing frightens her.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51Fearless woman approaching in X5, Mr Reeves.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55Mr Reeves, I really need you to sign this paperwork immediately.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58I am really, really busy!
0:07:59 > 0:08:04All right. Mr Reeves, I have told you, I need to...
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Hang on. Ah, the fearless American woman...
0:08:07 > 0:08:08- Mr Reeves!- Not now.- Mr Reeves!
0:08:08 > 0:08:11- Not now.- Mr Reeves! - Not now, not now, not...
0:08:11 > 0:08:15MR REEVES!
0:08:21 > 0:08:24SHE SCREAMS
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Sign here.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Did I frighten you, Mr Reeves?
0:08:41 > 0:08:43No, but you frightened
0:08:43 > 0:08:47the unfrightenable American woman who fears nothing, Miss Bracegirdle.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49And you just signed your whole team up
0:08:49 > 0:08:52for a course in stationary management optimisation.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55- Oh, that sounds like a good one. - It isn't.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57SHE LAUGHS
0:08:58 > 0:09:03Oh, stop your grumbling! You're doing it. Let's extract the facts.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Dear Davine, I'm delighted to enclose
0:09:09 > 0:09:11some curious stuff about bravery.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13We found out that...
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Except, perhaps, Miss Bracegirdle.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39So, that's curious stuff about bravery.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44Mr Frazernagle, any calls on the switchboard, please?
0:09:44 > 0:09:48Oh, I've got a stunning call from coming through on line three.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51- I'll connect you now. - Thank you, Nagles.
0:09:51 > 0:09:52PHONE RINGS
0:09:52 > 0:09:56Hello, this Vic Reeves, here at the Ministry Of Curious Stuff.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00How may I be of insistence to your dubious enquiry?
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Hello, Mr Reeves. My name is Georgia,
0:10:02 > 0:10:05and I would like to know some curious stuff about toilets.
0:10:05 > 0:10:11Ah, Georgia, I'm sure the ministry will be very excited. Thank you.
0:10:11 > 0:10:15Georgia wants to know about toilets.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19THEY CHEER
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Our prayers have been answered!
0:10:23 > 0:10:26# The smallest room
0:10:28 > 0:10:31# The place of easement
0:10:31 > 0:10:34# A place of concealment
0:10:35 > 0:10:37# The lavatory
0:10:38 > 0:10:42# Dunny, bog or restroom
0:10:42 > 0:10:46# John, can, and khazi
0:10:46 > 0:10:49# It's the finale
0:10:49 > 0:10:52# Of yesterday's sausage
0:10:53 > 0:10:59# Then it's a flush, flush farewell My friends
0:10:59 > 0:11:02# Going off around the bends
0:11:02 > 0:11:06# Round the bends and away My friends
0:11:06 > 0:11:10# Straight to the bowels of the earth. #
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Farewell, my friends. Stay in touch.
0:11:17 > 0:11:23Congratulations, Mr Reeves. You've officially driven me round the bend.
0:11:23 > 0:11:27And it's all going in the report.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Much more of this and I don't think the mega boss will hesitate
0:11:30 > 0:11:32to close this ministry down.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38Right, without any further ado, give me some curious toilet facts.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Please, come on, let's see what we can find.
0:11:45 > 0:11:49- Length-Width.- Hm? - How's your toilet doing?
0:11:49 > 0:11:51- It's fine thank you, yeah.- Yeah...
0:11:51 > 0:11:55- It's blocked, isn't it?- No, no, no, no.- It's blocked, isn't it?- Yes.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Yes. I'm not surprised, all the stuff that you put down it.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01- Face wipes.- Paper towels. - Sweet wrappers.- Egg boxes.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03You wash your trousers in there, they're in there.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- Cuddly toys, leg of lamb. - We'll talk about that later.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08- Right, do you want it unblocked? - Yes, would you mind?
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Thank you.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Somebody's got to do this!
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Yes!
0:12:18 > 0:12:21- BUCKET CLANGS AND WATER GURGLES - Oh! Argh!
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Oh, dear, it's happened again, hasn't it?
0:12:26 > 0:12:29Yes. Would you do the honours?
0:12:29 > 0:12:30Yes, of course.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32- Get purchase.- Purchase!
0:12:32 > 0:12:34- Pull.- I'm pulling.
0:12:34 > 0:12:35PLUNGER SQUEAKS
0:12:37 > 0:12:38Thank you.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Mr Reeves!
0:12:40 > 0:12:43You are making mistakes quicker than I can write them down.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47Kindly stop clowning around with your BF and get on with it!
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Right, give us some toilet facts, please.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54Well, Mr Reeves, there's the loo with a view -
0:12:54 > 0:12:56the public toilet that for nearly 100 years
0:12:56 > 0:12:59was used by visitors to Scarborough beach
0:12:59 > 0:13:02and then one couple bought it for £15,000
0:13:02 > 0:13:04and turned into their new home.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07I saw that on one of those property programs.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11I just love what you've done with the place.
0:13:11 > 0:13:16It's classy, it's understated and it just screams out family home.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Oh, thank you. No, we're ever so lucky, aren't we, Martin?
0:13:19 > 0:13:22We're thinking of installing something extra, something classy -
0:13:22 > 0:13:23a Jacuzzi.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26We might knock through a wall. We might knock through... No!
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Excuse me, no!
0:13:28 > 0:13:30There's a public lavatory half a mile down the road,
0:13:30 > 0:13:31so if you could just...
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Just ignore him.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36So, knocking through to build a new extension.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Ooh, an extension. What for?
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Well, we're thinking a downstairs toilet.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44TOILET FLUSHES
0:13:44 > 0:13:45That's my bedroom!
0:13:47 > 0:13:53Oh, really! OK, Miss Teaparty, any other toilet treasures?
0:13:53 > 0:13:59Well, Mr Reeves, French King Louis XIII, 1601-1643,
0:13:59 > 0:14:01had a toilet built under his throne
0:14:01 > 0:14:04and was known to receive visitors whilst sitting on it.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09TOILET FLUSHES
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Magnifique!
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Pop off and get me some loo roll, will you?
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Right, give us some more curious toilet facts.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24Well, it's been suggested the first toilet cubicle in a row
0:14:24 > 0:14:27is the least used and consequently, the cleanest.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29So, they're never used?
0:14:29 > 0:14:30Do you know what I'm going to do?
0:14:30 > 0:14:37I'm going to go to the first cubicle and show them that I care.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40- Bravo, Mr Reeves.- Yes!
0:14:47 > 0:14:53Hello, my name's Vic and I just wanted to say, you're not alone.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55I think you're a wonderful toilet
0:14:55 > 0:14:59and if you ever want to talk to anyone, then I'm here for you.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02Do you know what? It would be nice to talk to somebody.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05I've just got so much I want to say about my feelings and stuff.
0:15:05 > 0:15:10Oh, is that the time? I really must, erm... Erm...
0:15:10 > 0:15:14I suppose the loneliness started when I was five years old.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Back then I was just a little potty and do you know what...
0:15:18 > 0:15:22Blimey, that toilet can't half talk.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Boring!
0:15:24 > 0:15:28And you're boring me with all this nonsense, Mr Reeves.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32It's time to extract the facts.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Dear Georgia, I'm delighted to enclose
0:15:34 > 0:15:37some curious stuff about toilets.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58Toilet facts extracted, so what's next?
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Please tell me there's a call on the switchboard, Mr Frazernagle.
0:16:03 > 0:16:08Never fear, Frazernagle's here. Of course there is.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10- PHONE RINGS - Thank you.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17How might I be of support in your monumental quest?
0:16:17 > 0:16:18Hello, Mr Reeves.
0:16:18 > 0:16:21My name is Spike and I want to know some curious stuff
0:16:21 > 0:16:23about human superpowers.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Thank you very much, Spike. Goodbye.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Spike wants to know about human superpowers.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Come on, let's see what we can find.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38Of course, Length-Width,
0:16:38 > 0:16:41you and I are experts in superheroes, aren't we?
0:16:41 > 0:16:44- That's right. Specialist subject - the cape.- The cape!
0:16:44 > 0:16:47And of course, in the early days they didn't wear capes, did they?
0:16:47 > 0:16:49They used to wear quilted coats.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51That's right, a duffle coat or an afghan coat.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Afghan coat, yes, anoraks.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56They thought with all this running around and bashing people
0:16:56 > 0:16:57and saving the world, they thought,
0:16:57 > 0:17:00"Blimey, it's getting really hot wearing this."
0:17:00 > 0:17:01- Stifling!- "We need something else."
0:17:01 > 0:17:04Something a bit cooler. So, what did they come up with?
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Well, they all got together, had a conference.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08We know who we're talking about.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12- And they decided, "Instead of a coat, we'll use a cape."- A cape.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15However, the further south you get...
0:17:15 > 0:17:16The Mediterranean superhero.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18..where you'll find...
0:17:18 > 0:17:20..him.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Now, of course, he had a very different idea.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Because it's very hot down there, he simply said,
0:17:25 > 0:17:27"Tops and tights and that'll do."
0:17:27 > 0:17:30"No cape for me. Boots and gloves, that's fine."
0:17:30 > 0:17:34Enough of your super nonsense! Get on with it.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38Right, OK. Come on, let's have some curious stuff on human superpowers.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Well, Mr Reeves, there's a man named Aurelien Hayman
0:17:41 > 0:17:44who's a student at Durham University.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48Claims he can remember almost every day of his life since he was 11.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Apparently, if you give him a specific date,
0:17:51 > 0:17:53he can remember what he did,
0:17:53 > 0:17:56what he was wearing, what he ate, what the weather was like
0:17:56 > 0:18:00and he can even recall what was on the television
0:18:00 > 0:18:02and the conversations that he had.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Super Memory Man in Z32, Mr Reeves.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Huzzah! Here I am, the Memory Man.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14Ah! So, you remember everything, do you?
0:18:14 > 0:18:18For certain I can, for I'm the Memory Man.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22All right, what did I have for dinner last Thursday?
0:18:22 > 0:18:26I really couldn't say, for it doesn't work that way.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Ignore him, he's a walnut!
0:18:28 > 0:18:33The Memory Man remembers only his own past.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37A lifetime of memories, for ever to last.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Right, let's test this amazing memory.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43- Ask him what he had for dinner last Thursday.- Too easy!
0:18:43 > 0:18:48What did you have for dinner on 13th June, 1991.
0:18:48 > 0:18:49Good one!
0:18:49 > 0:18:53The Memory Man remembers...
0:18:53 > 0:18:55pasta and cheese.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Ah, good.
0:18:57 > 0:19:02OK, what did you have for dinner on 8th May, 1997?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04DRUMROLL
0:19:04 > 0:19:07The Memory Man remembers...
0:19:07 > 0:19:09pasta and cheese.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12- Coincidence? - It's a classic tea-time dish.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16OK, moving away from food,
0:19:16 > 0:19:20what did you do on 13th September, 2000?
0:19:20 > 0:19:21DRUMROLL
0:19:21 > 0:19:24The Memory Man remembers...
0:19:24 > 0:19:28shopping for pasta and cheese.
0:19:28 > 0:19:32Can we keep him, Mr Reeves? Please, can we? Can we, please?
0:19:32 > 0:19:35It'd wear thin after a while, trust me.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38June 5th?
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Pasta and cheese.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42March 1st?
0:19:42 > 0:19:45Pasta and cheese.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49- Crumbs, you're right. He's boring! - Isn't he?
0:19:49 > 0:19:52- Memory Man?- Yes?- Remember this...
0:19:52 > 0:19:54THEY BLOW A RASPBERRY
0:19:54 > 0:19:56And don't come back!
0:19:56 > 0:19:58Here's an interesting one, Mr Reeves.
0:19:58 > 0:20:03- There are super heat generating Tibetan monks.- Yes?
0:20:03 > 0:20:07Tibetan monks use deep meditation to raise their body temperatures.
0:20:07 > 0:20:11Yes, Mr Reeves, and raising your body temperature is a very good power
0:20:11 > 0:20:15to have if you live somewhere like Tibet - it's freezing!
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Yes, and to demonstrate this,
0:20:17 > 0:20:22they have been known to dry sheets on their body in just one hour.
0:20:22 > 0:20:26Also, a monk is very useful should one require a boiled egg.
0:20:26 > 0:20:27What?
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Hot monk in X1, Mr Reeves.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34GONG SOUNDS
0:20:34 > 0:20:38Your superpower has boiled my egg.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Super.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Mmm!
0:20:42 > 0:20:46So, any more facts on superpowers?
0:20:46 > 0:20:50Well, there's a woman from Russia called Natasha Demkina.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52She says she has X-ray vision.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56X-ray vision? Well, that'd come in useful if you wanted to find out
0:20:56 > 0:20:59what was inside your Christmas presents in advance
0:20:59 > 0:21:01or if you wanted to know what the filling was
0:21:01 > 0:21:05in a mysterious pie that you found beneath a bush.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Length-Width, it's a problem worldwide.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12So, have they found out if this woman really has X-ray vision?
0:21:12 > 0:21:13No, they haven't.
0:21:13 > 0:21:17This Natasha says she has a special vision that allows her to
0:21:17 > 0:21:20look inside human bodies and see organs and tissue.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24She claims she can make medical diagnoses.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26I'd like to meet this X-ray lady.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Strange woman in C1, Mr Reeves.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Is it you? It is you, isn't it? It's you!
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Yeah, it's me!
0:21:38 > 0:21:40I've always wanted to meet a woman with X-ray vision.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42I've always wanted to meet you, too.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Well, now you're here, you can help prove something.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49- You see this big sweaty lad, here? - Yeah.- Well, earlier on...
0:21:51 > 0:21:56..this hot monk, here, was holding a delicious boiled egg.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00It's my belief that this chump, here,
0:22:00 > 0:22:02stole that egg and ate it.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05How dare you, sir!
0:22:05 > 0:22:08- How dare you! Now, you look here. - You look here!- You look here!
0:22:08 > 0:22:11- You look here.- Are you looking here? - No, you're looking there.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13- I'm looking here now. You look here.- Yes.
0:22:13 > 0:22:18I may be a lot of things, but a hot monk egg thief I am not!
0:22:18 > 0:22:22You look here, we'll soon find out!
0:22:22 > 0:22:26I want you to use your X-ray vision to look within his stomach
0:22:26 > 0:22:30and tell me whether it harbours a hot monk egg.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34All right. Hold on, here we go.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42- No monk egg.- Ah-ha! You see?
0:22:42 > 0:22:44But he's four months pregnant.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Yes, you see? It's not an egg, I'm just four months pregnant...
0:22:47 > 0:22:49What?
0:22:51 > 0:22:53- You're not really Natasha, are you? - No.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56- So, why did you say all that stuff, then?- I didn't. You did.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58- You haven't got X-ray vision, have you?- No.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00- So, he's not pregnant? - Don't know, probably not.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03We can see right through you, missy! Now, off you pop.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Keep popping! Pop away!
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Right, more super facts about superpowers, please.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- PHONE RINGS - Hark!
0:23:17 > 0:23:22Hello, Captain Length-Width here. What? OK, I'll tell them. Thanks.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Hey, guys, guys, listen up! Terrible news! Terrible news!
0:23:24 > 0:23:26- ALL:- What?
0:23:26 > 0:23:28A book's fallen off the shelf at the local library.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31THEY GASP And the book's hit Grandpa Brown.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33THEY GASP
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Now the old man's trapped under the book.
0:23:35 > 0:23:36THEY GASP
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Don't tell me - sweet Grandpa Brown
0:23:38 > 0:23:40is trapped beneath a book at the library?
0:23:40 > 0:23:41That's exactly what I'm telling you.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43THEY GASP
0:23:43 > 0:23:49Right, I've just got to, erm, go off and do something.
0:23:49 > 0:23:50THEY GASP
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Help! Help!
0:23:55 > 0:23:59Sounds like Grandpa Brown needs my help.
0:23:59 > 0:24:04You see, the truth is, by day I am the curious Vic Reeves
0:24:04 > 0:24:07but after 5:45, I become the superhero...
0:24:07 > 0:24:10DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:24:10 > 0:24:12..Bath Boy!
0:24:12 > 0:24:14DRAMATIC VOICE: Bath Boy!
0:24:14 > 0:24:19Able to run a nice, hot bath with one single turn of the tap.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21And now to save Grandpa Brown.
0:24:23 > 0:24:27Right, Grandpa Brown, let's get that heavy book off you
0:24:27 > 0:24:30and you into a nice, piping hot bath.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Stand back!
0:24:32 > 0:24:35This is a job for Captain Ham -
0:24:35 > 0:24:39able to locate the cheapest harm with in a three-mile radius.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Now, out of my way!
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Don't worry, I'll set you free
0:24:44 > 0:24:48and then I'll get you down to the corner shop on Essex Road.
0:24:48 > 0:24:5259p for 12 slices of wafer-thin honey glazed ham.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Hey! I was here first!
0:24:56 > 0:25:00Now, you look here. This man, here, doesn't need harm.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04What he needs is a nice, piping hot bath.
0:25:04 > 0:25:05Never fear...
0:25:05 > 0:25:06THEY GASP
0:25:06 > 0:25:10..Garment Boy is here - able to tell where you got your garments from.
0:25:10 > 0:25:14Oh, nice trousers! Sunday market down the High Street, am I right?
0:25:14 > 0:25:17- Now, look, we were here first. - Get out of here!
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Oh, what on earth are you both wearing?
0:25:19 > 0:25:21This is a job for...
0:25:21 > 0:25:24- THEY GASP - Doctor Sausage Pockets -
0:25:24 > 0:25:28the man with infinite pockets of sausages. Want one?
0:25:28 > 0:25:30It's all right, I've got loads.
0:25:30 > 0:25:34ALL: We don't want your sausages!
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Wait!
0:25:36 > 0:25:39Look, he's gone!
0:25:40 > 0:25:43- But how did he get free? - How did he get free?
0:25:45 > 0:25:48From Scoop And Shovel Hands Woman, that's how!
0:25:49 > 0:25:51Thanks, Scoop And Shovel Hands Woman,
0:25:51 > 0:25:54you saved my life. How can I ever repay you?
0:25:54 > 0:25:57You could tie my shoelaces for me.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59I don't stand a chance with these bad boys.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01THEY LAUGH
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Well, I'm exhausted after that.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Well, takes a lot of energy to be that ridiculous.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11I suggest we do our best to extract the facts.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14Dear Spike, I'm delighted to enclose
0:26:14 > 0:26:18some curious stuff about human superpowers.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37So, that's curious human superpowers.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40And that's what you call fact extraction.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Thank you, Miss Bracegirdle.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46Oh, no, no, no, no, no, thank YOU, Mr Reeves.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49What a busy day it has been.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52There's been some non-work-related shenanigans
0:26:52 > 0:26:55that have obviously gone in the little reporty.
0:26:55 > 0:27:01But, I must admit, we have dug up some wonderfully curious facts.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05Yes, we certainly have. Well done, team. But now, it's time to go.
0:27:05 > 0:27:09Don't forget to post our findings to our callers, Mr Reeves.
0:27:09 > 0:27:10I certainly won't. Thank you.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12What are you up to tonight, sir?
0:27:12 > 0:27:15Tonight, I'm going to be drawing some bunnies.
0:27:15 > 0:27:20I mean, I'm going to draw some money out of the bank. A lot of money.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22£20 or something.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29- Goodbye, everybody! - Goodbye, Mr Reeves.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd