0:00:02 > 0:00:03RINGING
0:00:06 > 0:00:08Here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff,
0:00:08 > 0:00:11we explore any subject you desire
0:00:11 > 0:00:14and deliver top quality curious facts.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16CHATTER
0:00:17 > 0:00:21On hand, our dedicated team - Lovett, Teaparty,
0:00:21 > 0:00:24Frazernagle on the calls, Wannamaker in the walls
0:00:24 > 0:00:27and of course, Captain Length-Width.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35That's Miss Bracegirdle.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39She's been sent by head office to investigate our work
0:00:39 > 0:00:40and compile a report.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44If we fail to impress, the Megaboss will shut the Ministry down.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Let's not dilly-dally. There's lots to do.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Welcome to the Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58- Good morning, everybody. - Good morning, Mr Reeves.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00- Good morning, Mr Reeves. - Morning, Mr Reeves.
0:01:00 > 0:01:04- Good morning, Mr Reeves.- Miss Teaparty, what are the headlines?
0:01:04 > 0:01:08- Er, well, the world's best-known word is "okay".- Okay.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Only 12 people have walked on the moon.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13And your doctor has sent you this
0:01:13 > 0:01:15and says it should clear up your secret rash right away.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19Thank you, Miss Teaparty!
0:01:19 > 0:01:22Particularly for keeping my highly secret rash a secret.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Sorry. It won't happen again.
0:01:25 > 0:01:30- Ooh! Er, Length-Width.- Yes? - What are these two eggs doing here?
0:01:30 > 0:01:32- They're my eggs. - What, did you lay them?
0:01:34 > 0:01:37- Yes, I laid them last night.- What? - Yes, I laid them last night.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39So are there two little Length-Widths in there?
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Yes, there'll be two Length-Widths hatching at about six this evening.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45So we'll have two little Length-Widths running around?
0:01:45 > 0:01:49Yeah, I came up with a scheme to make the Ministry some money.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51- Yeah?- I need two little Length-Widths
0:01:51 > 0:01:54for my dolls' house removal firm
0:01:54 > 0:01:55and they're going to drive my truck.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59- Young Businessman of the Year! - Thank you.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02- I'm like a little Alan Sugar. - Aren't you?- Yes.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Oh! "You're fired!" No, you're not.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09Mr Reeves! Do you realise the working day has begun
0:02:09 > 0:02:12and we are all waiting for you?
0:02:12 > 0:02:16- Shall we get on with it? - Yes, Miss Bracegirdle.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18BELL TINGS
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- Mr Frazernagle, good morning! - PHONE RINGING
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Oh, morning, Mr Reeves.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Any calls coming through on the switchboard?
0:02:28 > 0:02:32There's one very pungent caller coming through on line four.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34- PHONE RINGING - Thank you.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41How might I be of support in your monumental quest?
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Hello, Mr Reeves. My name is Monet.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47I want to know some curious stuff about the sense of smell.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Thank you very much, Monet.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55Monet would like to know some stuff about the sense of smell.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Come on, let's get to it.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06Okay, what curious facts have we got about the sense of smell?
0:03:06 > 0:03:11Well, Mr Reeves, scientists have found you don't smell with your nose
0:03:11 > 0:03:13but you smell with your brain.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17Mm, and everyone has their very own unique smell.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Really? Well, let's put that to the test.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26HE SNIFFS
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- Ooh! Gone-off yoghurt! - Correct!
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Right, come on. THEY SNIFF
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Bracegirdle, what's that scent?
0:03:39 > 0:03:42- Of sadness?- Scaffold pipe?
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Oh, yes, I think I'm getting that.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46I think it's the scent of get back to work!
0:03:49 > 0:03:52- Length-Width?- Yes.- Have you smelt anything good recently?
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Oh, don't talk to me about smelling stuff.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59I am sick of it. My nose doesn't get a minute's rest, you know?
0:03:59 > 0:04:01It's always, "Smell this, smell that.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03"Last one to smell that's an idiot."
0:04:03 > 0:04:07Do you what would be good? If there was a kind of robot stroke machine
0:04:07 > 0:04:10that did all your smelling for you.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Yes, that's what I've been campaigning for, Reeves,
0:04:12 > 0:04:16- but it won't happen in my lifetime. - It's never going to happen.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Well, actually, NASA have created ENose,
0:04:19 > 0:04:21which is short for Electronic Nose Device.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24- Really?- Yes, ENose is very sensitive.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26It can pick up the tiniest of whiffs
0:04:26 > 0:04:28and is used to detect life-threatening odours
0:04:28 > 0:04:30long before they reach the astronauts' nostrils.
0:04:30 > 0:04:35I'd like to see this amazingly curious machine in operation.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38- Wouldn't you?- Yes.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42- Miss Wannamaker! - NASA specialist in E11.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51Hello. NASA specialist Ken Millet.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54World's smallest NASA specialist.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57That's right. Now, Ken, do you mind if I have a go
0:04:57 > 0:04:59on your high-tech NASA communication device?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01I need to get in touch with the Space Station.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03- Be my guest. - Thank you.
0:05:06 > 0:05:11Here we go. Ah, now, Ken, you know everything about space, right?
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Yep, that's why I'm a NASA specialist.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16There's a question I've always wanted to know the answer to.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18How many stars are there in the universe?
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Stars. Erm...
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Seven.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Seven stars? I thought there were more than that.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Nope, there's definitely seven. They just move around a lot.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34Lucky I spoke to you or I'd have made a proper idiot of myself.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36Yeah!
0:05:37 > 0:05:39- A-ha! - ELECTRONIC WHINING
0:05:39 > 0:05:43Hello! Am I through to hot-shot astronaut
0:05:43 > 0:05:45on board the International Space Station?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Hello, Vic Reeves from the television.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Hearing you loud and clear up here in outer space.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55- And is that ENose next to you? - That's right.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59ENose is a fantastic piece of NASA technology
0:05:59 > 0:06:02that has no doubt saved many astronauts' lives.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05Its amazing sense of smell can detect the faintest traces
0:06:05 > 0:06:07of dangerous gas.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11Talking of dangerous gases, he keeps letting one go.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Silent but deadly.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17Poo! What a stink. VIC LAUGHS
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- It wasn't me.- I want to crack open a window in here.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22It smells like a boiled egg.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25Ow.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Well, thank you, ENose,
0:06:27 > 0:06:30a lovely robot with a brilliant sense of smell.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33- What do you think, Ken?- Not bad.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37- See you.- Laters.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39Oh, nice of you to join us.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43Did you know, similar to ENose's powers,
0:06:43 > 0:06:45bears are thought to have the best sense of smell
0:06:45 > 0:06:47of any animal on earth?
0:06:47 > 0:06:50It's been suggested it could be up to 2,000 times better
0:06:50 > 0:06:52than any human's.
0:06:52 > 0:06:56Well, very impressive but what I want to know is who's the best,
0:06:56 > 0:06:59a bear or a robot?
0:06:59 > 0:07:02It's time for Smell That Star.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04CHEESY THEME TUNE
0:07:04 > 0:07:06AUDIENCE CHEERING
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Hello, and welcome to Smell That Star,
0:07:09 > 0:07:13the show where we invite you to guess the name of the celebrity
0:07:13 > 0:07:18hidden within the box, simply by using the gift of the sniff.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21And let's meet tonight's contestants.
0:07:21 > 0:07:26Here, all the way from outer space, it's ENose...
0:07:26 > 0:07:29- APPLAUSE - ..the odour-detecting NASA robot.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33- How do you do? - Good evening.- Good.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37And over here it's Warren Peters, a bear from the woods...
0:07:37 > 0:07:40- ROARING - ..who works part-time in the biscuit factory
0:07:40 > 0:07:42on the ring road just outside Northampton.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46- Hello, Warren. - HE GROWLS
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Do you know what? I think he's got a point.
0:07:48 > 0:07:53OK, if you'd like to now approach the sniffing area
0:07:53 > 0:07:58you have 30 seconds to... sniff that star!
0:07:58 > 0:08:01- TENSE MUSIC - Okay, sniff away.
0:08:01 > 0:08:06Some good sniffing going on already. A great start, there.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09I'm getting almonds and a faint whiff of liquorice.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13- Is it Amanda Holden? - Is it Amanda Holden?
0:08:13 > 0:08:17- WRONG ANSWER NOISE - I'm sorry, it's not Amanda Holden.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20- Warren, have you got any ideas? - HE GROWLS
0:08:20 > 0:08:25Warren thinks it might be Justin Bieber. Is Bieber in the box?
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- WRONG ANSWER NOISE - It's not Bieber.
0:08:27 > 0:08:28You haven't got much time left.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32Wait. Chopped onions and vinegar.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Furniture polish. Is it Lady Gaga?
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Is it Lady Gaga? Let's find out.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41- FANFARE - Yes! You're quite right.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45ENose, well done, it is Lady Gaga and to prove it...
0:08:45 > 0:08:47- there she is. - APPLAUSE
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Lady Gaga!
0:08:49 > 0:08:51- Er, Mr Reeves?- Yes?
0:08:51 > 0:08:54I think you'll find that that's not actually
0:08:54 > 0:08:56quality factual information,
0:08:56 > 0:08:59thus it will be going in the report.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04Come on, then. Miss Teaparty, any more curiously stinky facts?
0:09:04 > 0:09:08Er, well, ambergris or whale vomit is a key ingredient
0:09:08 > 0:09:10found in some perfumes and aftershaves.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13No! Are you telling me that there's whale sick
0:09:13 > 0:09:15in my Growl For Men?
0:09:16 > 0:09:19I need to investigate this further. Back in a jiffy.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24- Hello, Vic.- Ken.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50TRUMPETING
0:09:55 > 0:09:58Oh, hello, sir. My name is Grace.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01Vic Reeves, Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Oh, you'll have to speak to my supervisor, Vince.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Vince!
0:10:09 > 0:10:11How may I be of assistance today, madam?
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- Ministry of Curious Stuff.- Ah.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Is it true you've been using whale sick
0:10:16 > 0:10:19- in your perfumes and aftershaves? - Indeed it is, sir.
0:10:19 > 0:10:24Ambergris or whale vomit has been used in perfumes for years.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26It makes the scent of the perfume last longer.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30- Would you use it? - Don't be daft! I'm a whale!
0:10:30 > 0:10:34It's whale sick! It's disgusting. Makes me want to vomit.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35Interesting.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Gives me an idea.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Thanks for your time, sir.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45A gift for you, Miss Bracegirdle.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48- Are you floating? - Yeah, it's mad, isn't it?
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Thank you, Mr Reeves. You shouldn't have.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52No, you shouldn't have!
0:10:52 > 0:10:54It's amber...
0:10:54 > 0:10:57- It's the latest pong. - Oh! Well, let's have a smell.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Ooh! It's actually rather nice.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04- Yes, it's whale sick. - What? Whale sick?
0:11:04 > 0:11:07He said it's well sick, you know, like the young people say.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09- It's well good, you know. - SHE SIMPERS
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Well, thank you, Mr Reeves.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14But be warned, I don't take bribes.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Now float off.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18OK.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21While I extract the facts.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Dear Monet, I'm delighted to enclose some curious stuff
0:11:25 > 0:11:27about the sense of smell.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29We learnt that...
0:11:47 > 0:11:49And...
0:11:54 > 0:11:57So that's the sense of smell. What's next?
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Master Frazernagle, have we got anyone on the lines?
0:12:01 > 0:12:04Oh, Mr Reeves, I've got a great call on line two.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07I'll put you through at the speed of light.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09- PHONE RINGING - Thank you.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16How might I be of hindrance to your probing question?
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Hello, Mr Reeves. My name is Ed
0:12:19 > 0:12:22and I want to know some curious stuff about cats.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27Thanks, Ed. I'll do my best. Cheers. Bye.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Ed wants to know some curious facts about cats.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Cats? I'll tell you something about cats.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37The very word makes me break out in hives!
0:12:37 > 0:12:41- Must we?- Of course we must. This is the Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43We must explore all avenues.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45DARTH VADER BREATHING
0:12:45 > 0:12:48As you wish.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52I've got a cat at home, a big cat, one of the biggest of the big cats.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55- Lion!- No, I'm telling the truth.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Oh, all right. What does it look like, this cat?
0:12:57 > 0:13:01Oh, well, it's big, grey, big ears, long nose,
0:13:01 > 0:13:03a fez and a kind of castle on its back.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06- What does it eat? - A skip full of peanuts a day.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Now, listen, listen, listen to me. Listen.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11I'm no Einstein but it sounds like you've bought an elephant.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13You're not the first person to have said that.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15And I won't be the last.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Right, come on, then - cats. Let's have some facts.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26OK, what have we found out
0:13:26 > 0:13:29- about c...- Here, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss.
0:13:29 > 0:13:30- Length-Width...- Here, puss, puss...
0:13:30 > 0:13:33What in the name of Michael Buble are you doing?
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Well, all this feline talk has reminded me
0:13:35 > 0:13:38- it's time to feed the Ministry cat. - Ah! Right.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40- Hang on, we haven't got a cat. - Yes, we have.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43- Adele, the Ministry cat. - Adele, the Ministry cat?
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Has anyone else heard of Adele the Ministry cat?
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Here, puss, puss, puss, puss. MIAOWING
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Ah, there you are. Now listen, puss.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Unfortunately we've run out of cappuccino,
0:13:54 > 0:13:56so it's going to have to be a saucer of milk this time.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59I hope that's all right. What's that?
0:13:59 > 0:14:02You'd like to borrow £20 to top up your mobile phone?
0:14:02 > 0:14:03Of course you can.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06Here you go. I've got it in my purse for you.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Stay in touch!
0:14:08 > 0:14:12Miss Teaparty, is it me or is there something really suspicious
0:14:12 > 0:14:13about Adele?
0:14:13 > 0:14:16- Mm...- Can we just get on with it, Mr Reeves?
0:14:16 > 0:14:19It's making my eyes water.
0:14:20 > 0:14:25Well, there is this fact here about a cat called Sergeant Podge.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27He has his own chauffeur.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30The cat wanders off every night and sits on the kerb two miles away
0:14:30 > 0:14:32and waits for his owner to come and pick him up.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36Yes, she picks him up on the way home from the school run
0:14:36 > 0:14:39and when she's on holiday, her neighbour does the cat run for her.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Mm. I'd like to meet this cat.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43The owner must be a proper soft touch.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46- Imagine being bossed about by a cat! - DOORBELL CHIMES
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Sergeant Podge coming from X5, Mr Reeves!
0:14:48 > 0:14:50HE CHUCKLES
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Here, Sergeant Podge. Come on, General Lala.
0:14:53 > 0:14:54Time for din-dins,
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Major I-Need-A-Lift- Cos-I-Can't-Be-Bothered-To-Walk.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59HE CHORTLES
0:14:59 > 0:15:03How dare you address me in such a manner, Reeves!
0:15:03 > 0:15:06I will not stand for such insubordination.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10The name is Sergeant Podge! Do you understand?
0:15:10 > 0:15:13- Er, yes.- Yes what??!
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Yes, sir, Sergeant, sir.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19- That's better. Now get down and give me 20!- Yes, sir!
0:15:19 > 0:15:22Hut! Hut! Hut!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Look at the state of you!
0:15:24 > 0:15:30You are out of shape, you miserable flapjack.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- What are you, Reeves?- A miserable...
0:15:33 > 0:15:35What? I can't hear you!
0:15:35 > 0:15:37I'm a great quivering pilchard, sir.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40Darn right you are and don't you forget it!
0:15:40 > 0:15:46Now, if you don't mind, my troops and I have to invade a fishmonger's
0:15:46 > 0:15:49and liberate some sardines! Ha, ha!
0:15:49 > 0:15:53Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut...
0:15:53 > 0:15:56LENGTH-WIDTH LAUGHS You must feel silly, Mr Reeves,
0:15:56 > 0:15:58being bossed about by cat.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Hello, Adele, listen,
0:16:00 > 0:16:02I've washed and ironed your clothes how you like them.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Now I'm going to go and clean your car, okay?
0:16:07 > 0:16:11Hmm. Right, let's have some more cat facts, please.
0:16:11 > 0:16:16Well, Mr Reeves, with Sergeant Podge being chauffeured around
0:16:16 > 0:16:20he could probably enter the Most Pampered Cat Competition.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Mm, fascinating. But how would he get there?
0:16:22 > 0:16:26Well, Mr Reeves, why not go by Pet Airways?
0:16:26 > 0:16:30Pet Airways. Or even better, C-C-C-Cats Airways.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32PUNKY MUSIC
0:16:32 > 0:16:37# C-C-C-Cats Airways C-C-C-Cats Airways
0:16:37 > 0:16:39# No time to delay It's C-Cats Airways
0:16:39 > 0:16:43# C-C-C-Cats Airways C-C-C-Cats Airways
0:16:43 > 0:16:46# No time to delay It's the Cats Airways
0:16:47 > 0:16:50# The cats are boarding And sipping on hot milk
0:16:50 > 0:16:53# And dining on grouse meat And flamingo juice
0:16:53 > 0:16:57# The physics of this flight Are ever so feline
0:16:57 > 0:17:01# Muffs and string balls And duty-free scratch polls
0:17:01 > 0:17:04# Cats Airways C-C-C-Cats Airways
0:17:04 > 0:17:07# No time to delay It's C-Cats Airways
0:17:07 > 0:17:11# The flight leaves at dusk The cats are seated
0:17:11 > 0:17:14# The hostess is human But the pilots are tabby
0:17:14 > 0:17:18# Cats Airways C-C-C-Cats Airways
0:17:18 > 0:17:21# Cats Airways! #
0:17:28 > 0:17:32Where's he off to now? This is no time for a holiday, Mr Reeves.
0:17:32 > 0:17:36The Megaboss isn't going to like this, not one little bit.
0:17:43 > 0:17:44HORSE WHINNIES
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Oh, hello, sir. How may I help you?
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Vic Reeves, Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Could you tell me about Pet Airways?
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Well, Pet Airways is an American company
0:17:54 > 0:17:57that specialises exclusively in the air transportation of pets.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01- And do you get many cats flying with you?- Yes, we do.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04In fact, we've got a very famous cat flying with us today,
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Creampuff, from Texas,
0:18:06 > 0:18:10the oldest recorded cat at 38 years and three days.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12- YOWLING - Arrgh!
0:18:12 > 0:18:16Careful with her. She's a grizzly old thing. She'll go for you.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19- So, sir, where will you be staying? - I don't know.
0:18:19 > 0:18:24Well, might I recommend the cat motel in Hertfordshire?
0:18:24 > 0:18:28It offers guests a wrought-iron bed, themed decoration
0:18:28 > 0:18:31and jazz music played on a £5,000 stereo system.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34- Ooh!- How about that? - Well, do cats like jazz?
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Well, that one certainly does.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38COOL TUNE
0:18:40 > 0:18:47- Groovy.- Out of my way!- Look out, this is one seriously spoilt cat.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50What do you call this?
0:18:50 > 0:18:51I'm sorry, is there a problem here?
0:18:51 > 0:18:55Hello, hi, hi, hi. I'm Annie Stock, Willow's agent.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58We just bought this in one of your airport restaurants
0:18:58 > 0:19:01but Willow will only drink water that's at room temperature.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03This - too warm,
0:19:03 > 0:19:06so if both of you could chill it, that would be great.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08- Willow would really appreciate that. - I want my fish.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11I had a fish. I want it.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15You, stupid-looking bald cat, bring me that fish to my face now!
0:19:15 > 0:19:18- Get it yourself!- Mr Reeves! EVERYONE GASPS
0:19:20 > 0:19:24Big, pampered twerp! I can't believe they chucked me out.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Well, Mr Reeves, cats are very manipulative.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30Research suggests they can alter the frequency of their purr
0:19:30 > 0:19:32to a tone similar to that of a baby crying.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Right, well, talking of manipulation...
0:19:35 > 0:19:38- CAT PURRING - Get me a hot dog! I want a hot dog.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42Length-Width, get away from that cat.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Ah, now, Adele said you'd try this.
0:19:44 > 0:19:45He said you'd be jealous of us
0:19:45 > 0:19:48just because we're supercool BFFs.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Right, well, I'll show you who your BFF really is.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Huh! What are you doing to my cat?
0:19:56 > 0:20:00Your BFF is in fact Bob Pod...
0:20:00 > 0:20:02EVERYONE GASPS
0:20:02 > 0:20:06..who recently escaped from a prison for evil puppeteers.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09Stop him before he gets into the air ducts.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13I'm sorry I ever doubted you, Mr Reeves. I feel so foolish.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Oh, no need to apologise, Length-Width.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18I'm docking you a year's wages, that should cover it.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Fair enough.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22I wasn't aware he was being paid.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25I think we'd better extract the facts.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29Dear Ed, I'm delighted to enclose some curious stuff about cats.
0:20:30 > 0:20:31We found:
0:20:43 > 0:20:44Ooh!
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Curious cat facts extracted, so what's next?
0:20:57 > 0:21:01Oh, Mr Frazernagle, any calls on the switchboard?
0:21:01 > 0:21:05I have a splendid call coming through on line three.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- PHONE RINGS - Thank you.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12Hello, this is Vic Reeves here at the Ministry of Curious Stuff.
0:21:12 > 0:21:16How might I be of furtherance in your enquiry?
0:21:16 > 0:21:18Hello, Mr Reeves, my name is Maia
0:21:18 > 0:21:22and I'd like to know some curious stuff about memory.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Thank you very much, Maia. Thank you for your enquiry. Goodbye.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Maia wants to know any curious stuff about memory.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Come on, let's get to it.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39- Er, Length-Width?- Mm? - How far back can you remember?
0:21:39 > 0:21:43- Oh, about two and a half feet. - Mm...
0:21:43 > 0:21:45How far back can you remember, Reeves?
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Actually, a lot further than that. About three or four foot.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49- Mm.- How far can you remember into the future?
0:21:49 > 0:21:51HE TUTS
0:21:51 > 0:21:55- You don't remember into the future. - I think you'll find that you do.
0:21:55 > 0:22:00- Really?- Yes. Let me think about one of my favourite future memories.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Mm... Ah, yes, I remember the time
0:22:02 > 0:22:05- when I walked up to you, Length-Width...- Yes?
0:22:05 > 0:22:09..and gave you an absolutely phenomenal nose twirdle.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11CREAKING
0:22:12 > 0:22:13POP!
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Don't be ridiculous. That's not remembering something,
0:22:16 > 0:22:18that's just doing it.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Right, come on, any curious stuff about memory?
0:22:20 > 0:22:24I have some information here about a male chimp called Ayumu.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28His memory is so good he can remember the location and order
0:22:28 > 0:22:33of a set of numbers in less time than it takes a human to blink.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36Why, with that kind of talent, he could drive a taxi!
0:22:38 > 0:22:41You know, you're lucky you got me today, mate.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43I know this area like the back of my hand.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47You know that baker's just by the bus stop?
0:22:47 > 0:22:50That used to be a chemist. HE GIBBERS
0:22:50 > 0:22:53You know that shoe shop? That used to be a butcher's.
0:22:54 > 0:22:55And you know that post office?
0:22:55 > 0:22:58That used to be a similar-sized post office.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Oh, you've just missed my stop.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Can I get out, please?
0:23:02 > 0:23:05Ooh, bit of a problem there, mate. I'm a chimpanzee.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08I've only got short legs, I can't reach the brakes.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12To be honest, I'm very surprised they gave me a driving licence at all.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16HE SCREECHES
0:23:16 > 0:23:17Right, I think that's clear
0:23:17 > 0:23:20that chimps are probably not the best taxi drivers.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Any more curious facts on memory?
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Well, Mr Reeves, have you heard
0:23:24 > 0:23:27that fish only have three-second memories?
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Yeah. Who doesn't know that?
0:23:29 > 0:23:33Yeah, fish having only three-second memories is so last year, man.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36- Yeah, come on, that's yesterday's news.- Really?
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Well, you're both wrong!
0:23:38 > 0:23:42Researchers in Australia have proved that this is actually a myth.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Fish have pretty good memories.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47They can remember such things as predators and prey types
0:23:47 > 0:23:49for several months.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52Well, if that's the case, then I'm afraid I owe fishkind an apology.
0:23:52 > 0:23:56Could you arrange a meeting for me with Ian Badminton,
0:23:56 > 0:23:58the senior spokesman of the Fish Party?
0:23:58 > 0:24:01- DOORBELL - Ian Badminton, spokesperson for fish,
0:24:01 > 0:24:02arriving through X5, Mr Reeves.
0:24:04 > 0:24:11Ah! Ian Badminton, may I apologise on behalf of all of the human race
0:24:11 > 0:24:14for spreading rumours that fish only have three-second memories.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16No need to apologise at all.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Water under the bridge.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21We're just glad it finally got cleared up.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Hopefully now people will start inviting us to quiz nights!
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Must be a very important day for fish, though.
0:24:26 > 0:24:31- Why's that?- Because, you know, the rumours have been proven wrong.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33- What rumours?- That you've got a three-second memory.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37- I've got a three-second memory? - No, you haven't.- Haven't what?
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Got a three-second memory!
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Hello, nice to meet you. My name is...
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Oh, actually, I haven't got a clue.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45- It's Ian Badminton. - Where?
0:24:45 > 0:24:49Oh! Thank you, Ian Badminton, senior spokesman for fish.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51What's a fish?
0:24:53 > 0:24:56- What a mess. - Well, I've learnt something today.
0:24:56 > 0:25:01Fish don't have three-second memories, apart from Ian Badminton.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04Give me some curious facts on memory, please.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Er, well, Mr Reeves, the saying "an elephant never forgets"
0:25:07 > 0:25:09might be true.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Because when Jenny and Shirley were introduced
0:25:11 > 0:25:13at an elephant sanctuary in Tennessee,
0:25:13 > 0:25:16they both became animated and bellowed their trunks.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Er, yes, it turned out they performed in a circus together
0:25:19 > 0:25:2123 years ago.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Ah! What a wonderful story
0:25:23 > 0:25:27- and here to tell us more about it... - DOORBELL
0:25:27 > 0:25:28TRUMPETING
0:25:28 > 0:25:33Lady elephants loading in the Ministry, Mr Reeves.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Get out of my face!
0:25:35 > 0:25:36Get out of my face!
0:25:36 > 0:25:39- Come over here and say that! - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Giving it all that, that's what you are, mate, yeah.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46- Still the same, Jenny. I never liked you.- I never liked you!
0:25:46 > 0:25:50Well, you just knew, didn't you, that I liked Jeremy Salmon at school
0:25:50 > 0:25:53but you had to ask him out first.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55He didn't like you cos of your big ears.
0:25:55 > 0:25:59Big ears? You can talk, Big Nose!
0:25:59 > 0:26:01- Say that again! - Big Nose!
0:26:01 > 0:26:04Right, car park, five minutes!
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Oh, make it three.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09- Make it one, darling.- Fine by me.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Big Nose!
0:26:12 > 0:26:14Well, I'm sure they've got a lot to catch up on.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17And so do we, Mr Reeves,
0:26:17 > 0:26:19so do we.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22It's time to extract the facts.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24- Hello, I'm Ian Badminton. - Arrgh!
0:26:26 > 0:26:30Dear Maia, I'm delighted to enclose some curious stuff about Memory.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34We found:
0:26:42 > 0:26:44..actually.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53And that's curious stuff about memory.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56And that is what you call fact extraction.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Thank you, Miss Bracegirdle.
0:26:58 > 0:27:02Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Thank you, Mr Reeves,
0:27:02 > 0:27:05for there has been a lot more pointless horsing around
0:27:05 > 0:27:07to put in my little reporty today.
0:27:07 > 0:27:14But I must admit, we have extracted some wonderfully curious facts.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Yes, we have. Well done, everybody, well done indeed.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19But now, I'm afraid, it's time to go.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22Er, don't forget to post our findings to our callers, Mr Reeves.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25- Of course, Miss Teaparty. - What will you be up to tonight?
0:27:25 > 0:27:29Well, Miss Teaparty, tonight I'm going to make some fairy cakes.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31I mean, hairy cakes! I'm going to make some hairy cakes.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34Hairy, man cakes, men cakes.
0:27:34 > 0:27:35Cakes for men to eat!
0:27:35 > 0:27:36Quite right.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42- Goodbye, everybody.- Bye, Mr Reeves.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd