Living with Alcohol

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0:00:05 > 0:00:07Lots of adults like a drink,

0:00:07 > 0:00:09and it's absolutely fine for most of them.

0:00:09 > 0:00:13But too much alcohol too often can cause big problems.

0:00:16 > 0:00:18Alcohol.

0:00:18 > 0:00:20You'll have probably watched adults drinking it at parties.

0:00:20 > 0:00:23You'll have seen it on the shelves in supermarkets,

0:00:23 > 0:00:25and it's probably in your home.

0:00:25 > 0:00:28From the pages of celebrity magazines, to our streets,

0:00:28 > 0:00:30and even your gardens.

0:00:30 > 0:00:34It's hard not to notice the adults around you drinking alcohol.

0:00:34 > 0:00:36All right, girls?

0:00:45 > 0:00:48When people talk about alcohol, it's usually

0:00:48 > 0:00:51from an adult's point of view. But it can affect you too.

0:00:51 > 0:00:54Every day, millions of children in the UK have to deal

0:00:54 > 0:00:57with adults around them drinking alcohol.

0:00:57 > 0:01:02Adults drink the same way like we eat cake, just to calm down and relax.

0:01:02 > 0:01:06One minute they're fine, the next you see them falling everywhere

0:01:06 > 0:01:09and talking funny

0:01:09 > 0:01:12and saying silly things.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14My next door neighbour drinks

0:01:14 > 0:01:19and she drinks every night because her son's always causing her stress.

0:01:19 > 0:01:23Sometimes they get aggressive and do things that they should not do.

0:01:23 > 0:01:28People drink alcohol, get drunk, and sometimes get injured.

0:01:28 > 0:01:32People drink and drive and get caught or arrested.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34I think adults drink

0:01:34 > 0:01:38because they want to get stress off their mind or they want to have fun.

0:01:42 > 0:01:45Alcohol's more affordable than it used to be and adults are spending

0:01:45 > 0:01:47more of their cash on drink.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49Most of it's bought in the shops and drunk at home.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52My parents always have a bottle of wine in the fridge.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55Guys! Please, be careful.

0:01:55 > 0:01:58Drinking alcohol isn't a problem for most adults,

0:01:58 > 0:02:02but some can get addicted to it and find it really hard to stop,

0:02:02 > 0:02:04and that can have lifelong consequences

0:02:04 > 0:02:05for the children around them.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08It can affect how you do at school, it can rip families apart,

0:02:08 > 0:02:12and sometimes drinking too much can even lead to someone dying,

0:02:12 > 0:02:13as Liam knows.

0:02:18 > 0:02:21My dad was a really nice guy,

0:02:21 > 0:02:23you couldn't go wrong with him.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26Everyone loved him, people at work, everybody did.

0:02:26 > 0:02:29I just can't stress enough how much of a nice guy he was.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34I think he started drinking when my mum and him split up,

0:02:34 > 0:02:38when I was about five. I started noticing the alcohol around

0:02:38 > 0:02:40and him changing, his personality changing.

0:02:40 > 0:02:44He was short-tempered, got angry quickly.

0:02:44 > 0:02:48The one incident I can vividly remember is I was pouring a drink

0:02:48 > 0:02:51and I spilt it over a plug accidentally.

0:02:51 > 0:02:55He got really angry. I think he swung for me, tried to hit me, and I ducked

0:02:55 > 0:02:58and ran upstairs and hid in my room.

0:02:58 > 0:03:02I was crying. I was really scared that it wasn't my dad any more.

0:03:02 > 0:03:05My dad decided to kill himself.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07It was the weekend of Father's Day.

0:03:07 > 0:03:08My feelings towards it was...

0:03:11 > 0:03:15..shock. And like how, why, questions going mental.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18I had nightmares for about a month,

0:03:18 > 0:03:20really severe nightmares.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22When he realised he was an alcoholic,

0:03:22 > 0:03:26I think he started to try and get help.

0:03:26 > 0:03:28He was at the doctor's and therapist's,

0:03:28 > 0:03:30and I don't think it worked out.

0:03:30 > 0:03:34I think he was just too severely depressed. I don't know.

0:03:34 > 0:03:38I think he was drunk at the time when he killed himself. So...

0:03:42 > 0:03:44My understanding of alcoholism and alcohol addiction

0:03:44 > 0:03:46is that it's obviously a drug.

0:03:47 > 0:03:51It's a legal drug, but it's still a stupid legal drug.

0:03:51 > 0:03:57It kills people, destroys families, destroys lives.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00When I see my friends drinking I'm cool, you're having a drink.

0:04:00 > 0:04:04I'm not bothered. It doesn't affect me, it affects them.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07If I hadn't been through what I've been through,

0:04:07 > 0:04:09I'd be different. I wouldn't be as strong.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12Stuff would hit me harder than it does.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15I think it's always going to stay with me. Your dad's so close to you.

0:04:15 > 0:04:19It's always going to be there. It's not going to go away.

0:04:19 > 0:04:20I don't think it can.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26We have a tradition

0:04:26 > 0:04:30that we remember my dad by. It's just a bit of fun.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33We pour a bottle of beer over the bench that we've got for him.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36It's a bit of a laugh.

0:04:36 > 0:04:38It shows we're OK with it, I suppose.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50Alcohol changes the way you and your body behave.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53From the first sip it affects your brain, which can make you feel nice.

0:04:53 > 0:04:57Drink a bit more and it can make you slur your words and go wobbly.

0:04:57 > 0:04:59That's your brain and body reaction slowing down.

0:04:59 > 0:05:03Drink it for a long time, and it can increase your chances of suffering

0:05:03 > 0:05:04brain damage and heart attacks,

0:05:04 > 0:05:07liver damage, stomach problems, and cancers.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11Alcohol can be fine, as long as people don't overdo it.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13The government says it's OK

0:05:13 > 0:05:15for adults to drink a small amount a day.

0:05:15 > 0:05:18Thank you. But there are stricter rules around alcohol,

0:05:18 > 0:05:22like preventing drink-driving and, of course, limiting who can buy it.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24You can't buy alcohol until you're 18,

0:05:24 > 0:05:27but you can be around adults that are drinking it.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29One popular place to drink alcohol is the pub.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31There are over 50,000 of them in the UK,

0:05:31 > 0:05:34and some of them are family homes, too. Thanks very much.

0:05:38 > 0:05:42Hi, my name's Madison and I live here in this pub.

0:05:42 > 0:05:46It's a lot different from my friend's house

0:05:46 > 0:05:50because there's more people than a real house,

0:05:50 > 0:05:55and it's wider and bigger and noisier.

0:05:57 > 0:06:00I know more about alcohol than my friends

0:06:00 > 0:06:03because I've lived in a pub since I was two.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05This is the bar where Mum and Dad serve beer.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07These are your bottled drinks and your ciders.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09You've got your soft drinks, your alcopops,

0:06:09 > 0:06:13and your spirits.

0:06:13 > 0:06:14This is the function room.

0:06:14 > 0:06:17Me and my brother, Ellis, love playing here because there's loads

0:06:17 > 0:06:19of space.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21This is the bar, that's our pool table.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23I don't think of this room as a bar.

0:06:23 > 0:06:26I think of it as our own little space.

0:06:28 > 0:06:29DING! DING!

0:06:29 > 0:06:31When I see people drinking in the pub,

0:06:31 > 0:06:34if they're watching on the big screen, maybe TV,

0:06:34 > 0:06:38and have one or two beers, it's not bad or major.

0:06:38 > 0:06:41It's just them having a good time.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45But, if they have too many, I really don't like that.

0:06:45 > 0:06:49Once, this guy, he came in and he had too many drinks,

0:06:49 > 0:06:54and he started falling over and falling on chairs and tables.

0:06:54 > 0:06:58Then Dad noticed him and he calmed him down and sat him down.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01He called him a cab and when the cab arrived,

0:07:01 > 0:07:08he gave him the money for the cab and the cab took him home.

0:07:08 > 0:07:12If you come this way, these are the barrels of beer.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14These pipes go in to these pumps.

0:07:14 > 0:07:17Carling and Fosters

0:07:17 > 0:07:19and Extra Smooth.

0:07:19 > 0:07:24Mum and Dad say drink sensibly and don't drink wildly,

0:07:24 > 0:07:29like have too many pints, or have too many whiskies,

0:07:29 > 0:07:32or gin and tonics, or wines.

0:07:32 > 0:07:36When I'm older, I think that's the message -

0:07:36 > 0:07:38always drink responsibly and sensibly.

0:07:38 > 0:07:45I don't think drinking wildly like some people do helps them at all.

0:07:50 > 0:07:53Adults can be a bit embarrassing when they've had a few drinks.

0:07:53 > 0:07:54Dad!

0:07:54 > 0:07:57Some children find their parents' heavy drinking so upsetting

0:07:57 > 0:07:59they keep it a big secret.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02Now, because alcohol affects the brain, adults don't always realise

0:08:02 > 0:08:05if they're drinking too much or too often. They might pretend it's OK.

0:08:05 > 0:08:08It's not affecting them or their families and it can be difficult

0:08:08 > 0:08:11for them to admit that their drinking is out of control.

0:08:11 > 0:08:15That's what happened to Ben's mum. She's now in control of her drinking

0:08:15 > 0:08:16but we've hidden the family's identity

0:08:16 > 0:08:18because it's still a delicate issue.

0:08:24 > 0:08:28When my mum first started drinking, she wasn't that bad,

0:08:28 > 0:08:30she just had a couple on a night.

0:08:30 > 0:08:34But when she started getting worse, it used to be during the day.

0:08:34 > 0:08:40When I lost my father I was drinking up to four bottles of whisky a day.

0:08:40 > 0:08:44I knew my mum was drunk because she used to be like that

0:08:44 > 0:08:45all the time, and sway.

0:08:45 > 0:08:49I was doing it because I thought it was helping me cope.

0:08:49 > 0:08:54But, obviously, it was making everything worse.

0:08:54 > 0:08:59I was under the influence that bad, I never realised how much drink

0:08:59 > 0:09:02I had got. My every thought was taxicabs to fetch more.

0:09:04 > 0:09:08We did a lot of taxi journeys to go to

0:09:08 > 0:09:11the newsagents, drink shops, basically.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14It would be, like, every day.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17- I would just stand outside waiting. - I could see...

0:09:18 > 0:09:24..that it was hurting him that I was actually fetching alcohol.

0:09:24 > 0:09:27But because of being under the influence of alcohol,

0:09:27 > 0:09:30I didn't really care, unfortunately.

0:09:30 > 0:09:34Sometimes when I used to walk to school, my mum would be sitting

0:09:34 > 0:09:35on the park bench, drinking.

0:09:35 > 0:09:39I would look at her and I'd look away, like I don't know her,

0:09:39 > 0:09:41because it used to embarrass me.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43It's a terrible feeling.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47You can imagine yourself as a child,

0:09:47 > 0:09:52seeing your own mother or father do it, how you'd feel.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55But when you're under the influence of alcohol,

0:09:55 > 0:09:57nothing else matters, only alcohol.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00The house was all fell apart, really.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03It was dirty and messy.

0:10:04 > 0:10:09My mum was on the sofa and there would be cans all over the place.

0:10:09 > 0:10:14There was cans, clothes, bottles, that's it,

0:10:14 > 0:10:20- all over the place.- You don't care, you don't care about anything at all

0:10:20 > 0:10:22as long as you've got that drink.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25I kept it a big secret.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28I didn't tell my friends about my mum's drinking, because

0:10:28 > 0:10:32I felt that they might take the mick out of me and call me names and that.

0:10:32 > 0:10:37Nobody understood what it was like for me. The teachers always used

0:10:37 > 0:10:41to tell me to tell me to sit down when I got angry, and everything.

0:10:41 > 0:10:43They didn't know what I was going through.

0:10:43 > 0:10:47For me to sit here and realise it now, what that child of mine

0:10:47 > 0:10:48must have gone through...

0:10:48 > 0:10:52I wanted help with my family, because...

0:10:52 > 0:10:57I love my mum and I wanted her to get back to the way it was before.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59It was really making me angry and upset.

0:11:01 > 0:11:05It took my mum 28 days to stop drinking.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08The hospital helped my mum with drinking,

0:11:08 > 0:11:11and it gradually got better.

0:11:11 > 0:11:15Eventually she was just... fit to come out.

0:11:15 > 0:11:19Luckily, I have been spared my life, because I could have been dead,

0:11:19 > 0:11:20but luckily I'm alive

0:11:20 > 0:11:24and I'm going to make his life absolutely fantastic.

0:11:24 > 0:11:25Now mum's not drinking, she's happy

0:11:25 > 0:11:28and does more things for me and I love her.

0:11:28 > 0:11:33We did sit on the park bench where I used to sit consuming alcohol,

0:11:33 > 0:11:36but both of us sat there with pride.

0:11:37 > 0:11:40Yeah, I feel really relieved to have her back.

0:11:50 > 0:11:53Alcohol can affect many people's lives in so many different ways.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56Sometimes it can be a real problem which can take families years

0:11:56 > 0:12:00to deal with, or sometimes it's just a part of everyday life.

0:12:02 > 0:12:06My dad doesn't drink, but my mum sometimes drinks.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09She only drinks at special occasions or at parties.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12I don't mind adults drinking, but there has to be a limit

0:12:12 > 0:12:14of two to three glasses.

0:12:14 > 0:12:20I see them drinking outside, near bars and restaurants.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23Sometimes it frightens me when I see people shouting and all that.

0:12:23 > 0:12:30But if they're just drinking and talking, it doesn't frighten me.

0:12:30 > 0:12:32My mum and dad only drink on special occasions,

0:12:32 > 0:12:34and I don't really mind it.

0:12:34 > 0:12:38My dad normally just has a beer, and my mum just has one glass of wine.

0:12:38 > 0:12:42I think two bottles of champagne and wine are too much to drink.

0:12:42 > 0:12:46I see adults drinking most of the time in pubs.

0:12:46 > 0:12:48I really want to tell them

0:12:48 > 0:12:52that they should stop drinking, but it's up to them to decide.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54So you've heard a lot about the experiences

0:12:54 > 0:12:55of people living with alcohol.

0:12:55 > 0:12:59It had a really big impact on the lives of Liam and Ben,

0:12:59 > 0:13:01and they found it difficult to talk about.

0:13:01 > 0:13:02But their families got help,

0:13:02 > 0:13:05and since then things have been looking much better.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07There are grown-ups who understand,

0:13:07 > 0:13:10and they'll be able to give you the right support.

0:13:10 > 0:13:12For most of you, being around alcohol will be fine,

0:13:12 > 0:13:14just like it is for Madison.

0:13:14 > 0:13:16But it is important to remember, if you are worried,

0:13:16 > 0:13:19you don't have to keep things to yourself.

0:13:19 > 0:13:22Tell a friend, a grown-up, or someone you trust.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24There's more information on the Newsround website.

0:13:37 > 0:13:40Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:13:40 > 0:13:43E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk