:00:42. > :00:49.This is The Console. Pixelface is OK, Rex and I get this point, we
:00:49. > :00:53.win the game. Oh, come on Kiki, start pulling your weight. Me, you
:00:53. > :00:59.keep waving your arms and screaming every time the shuttlecock comes
:00:59. > :01:07.near you. I am trying to unnerve them!
:01:07. > :01:13.Yes, we win! Out! It's out. It's out, our serve.
:01:13. > :01:19.We agreed the line was from the apple core to the broken cup.
:01:19. > :01:24.agreed to the strange picture of a woman on a plate.
:01:24. > :01:28.You lost! Look, a squirrel playing a banjo. Out! Anyone with half a
:01:28. > :01:35.brain could see that's out. It's brain could see that's out. It's
:01:35. > :01:41.our serve! That's not fair. You just moved it.
:01:41. > :01:48.Are you accusing me of cheating? I am offended and hurt that you think
:01:48. > :01:55.I would stoop so low. Oh, please, eth Aethelwynne, there is nothing
:01:55. > :02:00.that you would not cheat at! No way. That is a word.
:02:00. > :02:06.Kyoazogavoxs. It's a kind of wheelbarrow, for cheese. Any way
:02:07. > :02:12.with a triple word score that brings me to 14,000.
:02:12. > :02:18.I'm winning! We were awesome. What a double act!
:02:18. > :02:24.We could take on the world. Phew! What a brilliant game. We finished
:02:24. > :02:29.the level and wiped out a battalion. I wonder what happens to those
:02:29. > :02:38.alien robots after you have blown them to smithereens. They get
:02:38. > :02:44.recycled. Most end up as coat hangers, pens, drink cans.
:02:44. > :02:51.Must have earnt a tonne of credits. I am off to get some up-grades.
:02:51. > :03:01.could do with some new kit. What are you talking about? I bought you
:03:01. > :03:01.
:03:01. > :03:11.that new kit? What, the used toilet rolls. I want some furry dice.
:03:11. > :03:15.can compile a shopping list and you can pick up the stuff. Switching to
:03:15. > :03:19.grumpy mode. Who wants to play badminton? I don't know. We have
:03:19. > :03:26.played for hours. You have broken one of your high
:03:26. > :03:32.heels. These are not high heels. These are
:03:32. > :03:38.man boots, with a supportive block. How many times?
:03:38. > :03:43.Maybe we are all a bit unfit. When the boy went on holiday we went out
:03:43. > :03:49.of shape because we weren't played every day. Barely knew what a
:03:49. > :03:54.zombie looks like. Why don't I start an aerobics class and we can
:03:54. > :04:00.all get fit together. That sounds.... Amazing. A terrible idea.
:04:00. > :04:06.I must learn to get in there quicker. Right, that is the list
:04:06. > :04:15.finished. Take that to the QM. Don't get anything that's not on it.
:04:15. > :04:19.Do this, do that. Stop your whining. Rex, what are you doing? There was
:04:19. > :04:29.a squirrel playing a banjo over there a minute ago. I am just
:04:29. > :04:31.
:04:31. > :04:38.waiting to see if he comes back. right. Can I join in? Are you there,
:04:38. > :04:44.QM? I need some new high... Man boots, with a supportive block.
:04:44. > :04:49.What's this? Hello, all, emergency day off. Had an accident with am
:04:50. > :04:55.thermal powered pants. I have left the QM to deal with any problems
:04:55. > :05:00.you might have. PS, please zero to start.
:05:00. > :05:07.Hello. Welcome to the Automaster 2,000. Do you require upgrades?
:05:07. > :05:17.Press one for yes, two for no. Yes. You have pressed two. No. I
:05:17. > :05:17.
:05:17. > :05:22.pressed one. Go back. You You have pressed five. Console,
:05:22. > :05:28.self-destruct. Selection cancelled. Please reselect. All right. I'll
:05:28. > :05:34.start again. You have pressed nine. Change accent to French. I didn't
:05:34. > :05:40.mean to press that. Press six. Cause doors to open and close
:05:40. > :05:49.randomly. I just want some boots. You have pressed seven. Creating
:05:49. > :05:59.indoor hurricane. I shall get them myselfs. You have pulled my power
:05:59. > :06:00.
:06:00. > :06:10.out. That was clever, wasn't it? Boot, boots, boots.
:06:10. > :06:10.
:06:10. > :06:20.What do we have here? Top secret. I am sure it doesn't mean that. Oh!
:06:20. > :06:27.Cheat codes for all the games. Me oh, me oh my!
:06:27. > :06:32.Why have you described -- disguised yourself as an irritating elf?
:06:32. > :06:37.is not here. What is that behind your back? If you are after
:06:37. > :06:43.upgrades I am sure QM will be keen for you to take whatever you want.
:06:43. > :06:47.Must dash. Is this going to take long? It is eating around into my
:06:47. > :06:55.sitting around and looking glamorous time. You will go easy.
:06:55. > :07:01.We are not as good a dancer as you. I have created an easy routine.
:07:01. > :07:11.First I'll demonstrate it, then we'll do it all together. Step to
:07:11. > :07:11.
:07:12. > :07:21.the right and clap. Good. Then the other side. Left and clap. OK? And
:07:22. > :07:27.
:07:27. > :07:36.but we will move on to more complicated stuff later. Right,
:07:36. > :07:46.let's go! CONSOLE: THIS IS THE CONSOLE. THE SWORDS OF THE ANCIENTS
:07:46. > :07:51.
:07:51. > :07:59.NOW LOADING. WOULD AETHELWYNNE CONSOLE: Swords of the Ancients now
:07:59. > :08:09.loading. Would Aethelwynne please enter the game?
:08:09. > :08:10.
:08:10. > :08:20.Let's see if these cheat codes work. CONSOLE: SWORDS OF THE ANCIENTS
:08:20. > :08:24.
:08:24. > :08:30.LOADING. WOULD AETHELWYNNE PLEASE In for a penny, in for a pound.
:08:30. > :08:40.Let's try them all. Please follow your instructions and enter the
:08:40. > :08:41.
:08:41. > :08:49.game immediately. All right, all Looking good. Feeling good.
:08:49. > :08:59.Yeah, come on. Let's roll with it. Who's the daddy? Did anyone else
:08:59. > :09:10.
:09:10. > :09:20.It worked. I have superpowers. goes there? Nothing can defeat me.
:09:20. > :09:25.
:09:25. > :09:30.Oi, twinle toes, who goes there. Halfwit. What did you call me? A
:09:30. > :09:40.dumb wit. A nincompoop. You're going to get such a
:09:40. > :09:46.
:09:46. > :09:51.I'm the meanest dressed robot in town. My man, what's up? What have
:09:51. > :09:58.you done to yourself? My dream come true.
:09:59. > :10:04.How did you afford all this stuff? Chill. Wrong foot, made a few deals.
:10:04. > :10:09.Know what I mean? You did not spend your entire upgrade budget on this
:10:09. > :10:19.nonsense did you? I have the stuff. Look in the box. Did you get the
:10:19. > :10:21.
:10:21. > :10:31.ultrasonic lasers I asked for? ran out. What about the therm mo-
:10:31. > :10:33.
:10:33. > :10:40.seeker. Tell me you got that! A roll of sticky tape. This is it?
:10:40. > :10:48.This cost 800 credits. I know. It's surprising.
:10:48. > :10:53.Why, you little.... CONSOLE: This is The Console. Would you please
:10:53. > :10:58.enter the game. We will have some words if we get out of this next
:10:58. > :11:08.game. Good afternoon, gents. Going to your game. I don't envy you. It
:11:08. > :11:09.
:11:09. > :11:15.must be difficult to get anywhere when you play by the rules.
:11:15. > :11:21.What's the matter, Rex? It turns out Kiki's aerobic class is a tiny
:11:21. > :11:24.bit, well... Terrifying. I don't think I've ever moved that fast.
:11:25. > :11:31.That includes the time I accidentally sat on the lobster.
:11:31. > :11:41.Rex, tomorrow's class starts at 5am. See you then.
:11:41. > :11:57.
:11:57. > :12:06.What's so funny? The joke's on her. Romford, Romford. I need help. I
:12:06. > :12:11.need back-up. Something is slowing me down. I can
:12:11. > :12:21.not put my finger on what it is. You are weighed down with all that
:12:21. > :12:58.
:12:58. > :13:04.bling. Where are you exactly? I Who are you? My name is Zork. I am
:13:04. > :13:12.here to deliver a terrible warning to you Aethelwynne. Why do I
:13:12. > :13:17.recognise you I am one of the first computer game heroes. I came from
:13:17. > :13:21.years ago when games took ages to load and came in three colours.
:13:21. > :13:27.From ancient times. I thought that was a myth. I was once like you,
:13:27. > :13:33.proud, ambitious. A bit of a twit. I too choose to cheat at my game.
:13:33. > :13:38.I'm here to warn you the consequences are dire.
:13:38. > :13:44.Why are you walking like a crab? can only move side ways. My game
:13:44. > :13:50.was not very sophisticated, all right? Carry on. I became obsessed
:13:50. > :13:57.with winning. I kept using cheat codes. As a result I became lost in
:13:57. > :14:03.the counting. Doom to wandering as an unsafe character. Never
:14:03. > :14:10.completing my final level. You don't have to be like me. I can
:14:10. > :14:17.save you from yourself. Are you finished? I would like to go back
:14:17. > :14:22.to sleep. What...: Listen. You seem to have confused me with some sort
:14:22. > :14:26.of wishy-washy balloon and kitten type. Sob stories don't work on
:14:26. > :14:32.this elf. Thank you. No, no, no. Clear off. And do not come back.
:14:32. > :14:42.Thank you! Very well. But you'll be sorry.
:14:42. > :15:15.
:15:15. > :15:22.Could you give me a hand please? Yes. OK, yup. OK now we just...
:15:22. > :15:31.What an earth is wrong. We did one of aerobics classes. I am hurting
:15:31. > :15:41.in places I did not know I had places. This is the consols. Sorts
:15:41. > :15:41.
:15:41. > :15:51.of the Asians now loading. Maybe if you were better at your game you
:15:51. > :16:03.
:16:03. > :16:08.would get played more often. Seeing as you're trying to be healthier, I
:16:08. > :16:14.thought I would hide all of the stacks. It is time we had a word
:16:15. > :16:24.with little miss a motivator. we can leave it for now and tell
:16:25. > :16:33.
:16:33. > :16:43.her later. We have decided dot dot dot stop chatting and start working.
:16:43. > :17:10.
:17:10. > :17:20.Super powers - that wouldn't be a cheat would it? No. Just a tiny,
:17:20. > :17:24.
:17:24. > :17:29.tiny one - why? There you go, it does not work, not if you are
:17:29. > :17:36.cheating. It is those codes, they must all this stuff up. You cannot
:17:36. > :17:46.go any further? You are stuck on this level for ever. It serves you
:17:46. > :17:50.
:17:50. > :17:59.right for cheating. Speak to me. am not talking to you with all of
:17:59. > :18:05.that on. It is the worst training session ever. It is a liability
:18:05. > :18:11.dress like that. Those because of yours pick of local radio stations.
:18:11. > :18:16.You are just jealous. We needed those upgrades for the next level.
:18:16. > :18:23.This sticky tape is not going to be a substitute. You have to earn
:18:23. > :18:28.those credits back. How? You have to complete all of the training
:18:28. > :18:36.levels again. It will take me hours and those training levels are so
:18:36. > :18:42.boring. If you don't earn enough credits to buy some of grades come
:18:42. > :18:51.I won't protect you in the game any more. You'll fight your own battles.
:18:51. > :19:01.Suits me, I can look after my self. This is the console will Sergeant
:19:01. > :19:17.
:19:17. > :19:22.Riley entered the game. We will see how to if you are. Rex how's it
:19:23. > :19:26.going? Not good. Kiki's trying to get us all to eat healthily. She's
:19:26. > :19:34.put me on a fruit only diet. I've never been so miserable. But Rex
:19:34. > :19:43.you love fruit. Do I? Yes. In fact it's the only thing you ever eat.
:19:43. > :19:46.Oh yeah. Brilliant. I forgot. Mm. So what's up? Well I, I wonder if
:19:46. > :19:49.you could me a little favourette - oh, here's a gift for you. What's
:19:49. > :19:59.this? Infinite energy. Unlimited apples - these are cheat codes for
:19:59. > :20:03.
:20:03. > :20:12.my game. Let's go and have some fun. No, I
:20:12. > :20:18.would be cheating. Your mother has told you some weird stories. Come
:20:18. > :20:24.on, it will be a bit of funds. thank you. Come on, you will be
:20:24. > :20:34.doing me a favour. How? I cannot say, but doing a friend a favour,
:20:34. > :20:35.
:20:35. > :20:39.doesn't that make up for being a cheating Charlie? No, it would have
:20:39. > :20:43.to be for a really good reason. is because a little yellow man
:20:43. > :20:47.visited me in the middle of the night and offered to to help me and
:20:47. > :20:51.for reasons I shall not go into, I ignored him and now I am stuck on
:20:51. > :20:55.my level and I am worried that my game is broken and down never be
:20:55. > :21:01.played again. And getting you to cheat at your game is the only way
:21:01. > :21:07.to get the man back and save me. Why didn't you say so in the first
:21:07. > :21:17.place? But I am only going to do a little cheat. Invulnerability?
:21:17. > :21:22.
:21:22. > :21:29.No. Unlimited saves? No, I will do that one, green issues. I am not
:21:29. > :21:35.sure it is a cheat, but it will have to do. This is the console,
:21:35. > :21:41.sentient for session complete. Sergeant Riley and Romford released.
:21:41. > :21:46.What have you got to say for yourself now? You might have a
:21:46. > :21:54.point, I will do the training levels.
:21:54. > :22:04.Get set. That is it. That is it, Romford.
:22:04. > :22:09.
:22:09. > :22:18.Who OK, I am out. That is it, dish deep. I am proud
:22:18. > :22:27.of you. I am shattered. Come on, let's go and get some rest. Come on
:22:28. > :22:37.you lot. Hello, what is going on here? I want to see 15. Press-ups!
:22:38. > :22:40.
:22:40. > :22:50.Now drop. That includes you Sergeant Riley. And now drop and
:22:50. > :23:09.
:23:09. > :23:15.Who are you? My name is Zork and I am here to... Zork. How nice of you
:23:15. > :23:18.to pop by. Tea? Biccy? Be gone elf. Ouph. You had your chance but you
:23:18. > :23:23.chose to insult me. I'm here to warn the kangaroo rat thing -
:23:23. > :23:26.perhaps he can be saved instead. Yes. I don't want to be a cheating
:23:26. > :23:29.Charlie, I can't bear the guilt. I want normal coloured shoes again. I
:23:29. > :23:33.didn't insult you, I mean, it was just friendly banter. Now, how
:23:33. > :23:37.about a neck rub? Enough. Aagh. bargaining can save you now. You're
:23:37. > :23:42.doomed to remain unsaved and unplayed. Huh. Eventually you too
:23:42. > :23:47.will become like me. Aah, no. You must fix me, I don't wanna be like
:23:47. > :23:50.you. I look awful in yellow. Please Zork, but he's not a bad person, I
:23:50. > :23:56.mean he does act like a bit of a twit... Why does everyone keep
:23:56. > :24:01.saying that? But he's got a good heart underneath and I'm sure he'll
:24:01. > :24:08.never cheat again. Yes cross my heart. Well I suppose if he were to
:24:08. > :24:11.renounce all his cheating ways. oh. You can have my two headed coin,
:24:11. > :24:15.you can have my pack of cards with five aces, my blindfold with loads
:24:16. > :24:23.of holes in it for cheating at hide and seek and, oh, oh, and the dice
:24:23. > :24:26.which is all sixes so I can beat Rex at Snakes and Ladders. Oh yeah
:24:26. > :24:34.and don't forget about that stash of board game cash you've got
:24:34. > :24:40.hidden in your pants. Yes. Mm. Yes. Thank you Rex. Mm. You are lucky to
:24:40. > :24:45.have such honest and loyal friends. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Very well. Here.
:24:45. > :24:49.Ooh. These codes will reverse all the cheats in your games but if I
:24:49. > :24:57.ever hear of you cheating again... Ah, you won't. I swear. Then I
:24:57. > :25:07.guess my work here is done. Hah. Farewell. Rex, thank you for
:25:07. > :25:10.helping me. Oh don't worry. I'm really proud of you, you've taken a
:25:10. > :25:19.big step to becoming a more honest person. Um, do you think we should
:25:19. > :25:29.be giving him a hand? Yes. Yeah. Yes. OK, I'll just get that. And if
:25:29. > :25:31.
:25:31. > :25:35.you come... OK maybe just here. Just come to this... That's it.
:25:35. > :25:45.Right... Rex Dynamo... And then...... Stop, stop. There we are.
:25:45. > :26:14.
:26:14. > :26:24.Rex Dynamo There we go. There you are. Get back here now. Well. Here
:26:24. > :26:52.
:26:52. > :27:00.goes. If I have fingers they will Please, please! It does not work.
:27:00. > :27:09.Hold, who goes there? Fine, let's get on with its cheating. I am not
:27:09. > :27:14.cheating any more, I deleted the code. Watch. Back to normal,
:27:14. > :27:19.devastatingly handsome. I won't be cheating any more, which means I
:27:19. > :27:29.can finally complete this level. That's terrific. You great half-
:27:29. > :27:29.