Rock Star

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04This is The Console. Pixelface games loading.

0:00:05 > 0:00:09# Life's so great in a console space

0:00:09 > 0:00:11# Digitally here again

0:00:11 > 0:00:14# So much more than a pixel face

0:00:14 > 0:00:15# Living in a game

0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Living in a game Living in a game

0:00:18 > 0:00:20# We're playing with the same old friends

0:00:20 > 0:00:23# Everybody knows our name

0:00:23 > 0:00:26# We'll be here till the journey ends

0:00:26 > 0:00:28# Living in a game

0:00:28 > 0:00:31# Living in a game Living in a game. #

0:00:34 > 0:00:37I can't believe we've lost so many of the blocks.

0:00:37 > 0:00:40Well, I think some went missing last time we played.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49Is it my turn?

0:00:49 > 0:00:51OK...

0:00:54 > 0:00:56I win.

0:00:56 > 0:01:00That might explain why we're missing so many of the pieces.

0:01:00 > 0:01:03- Plus, I did eat a few. - That's disgusting!

0:01:03 > 0:01:04I did dip them in jam!

0:01:04 > 0:01:07I suppose we just have to make do with this.

0:01:07 > 0:01:09I'm going for the tricky bourbon.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18LOUD GUITAR RIFF

0:01:18 > 0:01:21Yeah! Let's rock!

0:01:24 > 0:01:26Wow! It's Kirk Bigglemeyer,

0:01:26 > 0:01:31the greatest guitarist in the gaming world here in our console!

0:01:31 > 0:01:36- What is that cacophony?- Awesome.

0:01:36 > 0:01:40That is incredible.

0:01:40 > 0:01:45- I didn't know you liked guitar. - Yes, yes. What a luxuriant bow.

0:01:47 > 0:01:49How do you do it?

0:01:49 > 0:01:52Well, I use a rich protein conditioning treatment

0:01:52 > 0:01:55after every wash and a diffuser when I blow dry.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56I've got all of your albums.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59That's pretty cool of you, little fairy dude.

0:01:59 > 0:02:03Rock Monster 1, Rock Monster Upgrade, Rock Monster 2,

0:02:03 > 0:02:06even Rock Monster 2 - Additional Riffs.

0:02:06 > 0:02:11- You're the greatest.- Maybe not for much longer, I'm afraid.- Why?

0:02:11 > 0:02:14- You're not retiring? - Well, I might have to.

0:02:14 > 0:02:18See, our lead singer, he hurt his back tidying the hotel room.

0:02:18 > 0:02:22And tomorrow we've got to film a video sequence,

0:02:22 > 0:02:26and without a singer, our game could be over.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28DRAMATIC RIFF

0:02:28 > 0:02:33- Perhaps one of us could be the lead singer.- Yes, perhaps.

0:02:33 > 0:02:38Well, I am a tremendous singer, aren't I, everybody?

0:02:42 > 0:02:46Surely you remember the time I sang that wonderful elfin ballad,

0:02:46 > 0:02:49The Song Of The Bogle Clencher?

0:02:49 > 0:02:50How could we forget.

0:02:50 > 0:02:54# My sweetheart took a lemon and a-fishing she would go

0:02:54 > 0:02:59# She went down to the riverside jigging around to and fro

0:02:59 > 0:03:02# Oh-ho-hoooo... #

0:03:02 > 0:03:06TUNELESS STRUMMING

0:03:07 > 0:03:10Ahem! 41 verses to go.

0:03:10 > 0:03:14# "Tickle me, mackerel", said the witch atop the crystal chair. #

0:03:14 > 0:03:18- I'll sing it now for Kirk! - ALL: No!

0:03:19 > 0:03:21Oh, hello. Who's the poodle then?

0:03:21 > 0:03:26This is Kirk Bigglemeyer from Rock Star.

0:03:26 > 0:03:28He's looking for a singer for his band.

0:03:28 > 0:03:31Hey, mate, I love to sing, get a load of this.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33Up in the morning to the rising sun!

0:03:33 > 0:03:35Up in the morning to the rising sun!

0:03:35 > 0:03:39- Brush my teeth and wipe my... - Oh! What is all this noise?

0:03:39 > 0:03:42I can't hear myself think - and I'm tremendously good at thinking

0:03:42 > 0:03:45so it's normally not an issue.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47There's a vacancy for a singer on Rock Monster.

0:03:47 > 0:03:50Well, I've certainly got the looks to be a pop star.

0:03:50 > 0:03:54I live and breathe music, it should definitely be me.

0:03:54 > 0:03:57ALL TALK OVER EACH OTHER

0:03:57 > 0:04:02I've got an inbuilt kazoo, it ought to be me. I'm made of music, me.

0:04:04 > 0:04:05Look, just chill out.

0:04:05 > 0:04:10- We'll have a competition and I will pick the winner.- Brilliant!

0:04:10 > 0:04:17- This is so exciting.- Oh, wow, I love that game. Can I have a turn?

0:04:17 > 0:04:19Yeah, why not? Romford, would you..?

0:04:29 > 0:04:32Rock time!

0:04:33 > 0:04:34He's good.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40Yes, go, Claireparker! Woo hoo!

0:04:40 > 0:04:43BACKING TRACK PLAYS

0:04:50 > 0:04:54It's no use, I can't win this competition.

0:04:54 > 0:04:58I've never been able to sing in front of people. It gives me nightmares.

0:04:58 > 0:05:02- Like that time Rex made us all cheese flavoured cocoa.- My turn!

0:05:06 > 0:05:10I've been practising this for hours.

0:05:10 > 0:05:11BACKING TRACK PLAYS

0:05:11 > 0:05:15# If you like it then you should have put a ring on it

0:05:15 > 0:05:18# If you like it then you should have put a ring on it

0:05:18 > 0:05:21SHE SINGS TUNELESSLY

0:05:21 > 0:05:26# Whoa-oa-oa oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh... #

0:05:26 > 0:05:30- Oh, stop! Stop! - Did I miss some lyrics?

0:05:30 > 0:05:34Lyrics? You mean you were singing?

0:05:34 > 0:05:39- Yes.- I just assumed a cat got caught in a mangle.- Alexia!

0:05:39 > 0:05:43Or that an angry goose had sat on a drawing pin.

0:05:43 > 0:05:45Or maybe a screeching baboon

0:05:45 > 0:05:47playing with a car alarm in a hooter testing factory.

0:05:47 > 0:05:50OK, Alexia, I get it, I'm not that great at singing.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Oh, it wasn't all that bad.

0:05:53 > 0:05:55Oh, no, hang on, it was.

0:05:59 > 0:06:03- Is that really necessary?- Oh, yes. I need an electric lyre.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05It wouldn't be very rock 'n' roll otherwise.

0:06:05 > 0:06:10- Wish I played an instrument.- Is that thing safe?- Of course it's safe.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12Are you sure I can't help?

0:06:12 > 0:06:15I'm pretty good with electronics, what with being made out of them.

0:06:15 > 0:06:18No, no, no, no, no. I'm quite capable, thank you.

0:06:18 > 0:06:21- If you could turn me on, please. - If you're sure.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23BANG!

0:06:23 > 0:06:25ELECTRICAL BUZZING

0:06:28 > 0:06:32Wow! I like your stage make-up, you look really rock 'n' roll.

0:06:32 > 0:06:36Thank you, I'll have the trout.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43Right, let me show you how it should sound.

0:06:46 > 0:06:47BACKING TRACK PLAYS

0:06:47 > 0:06:50- YELLS TUNELESSLY: - # If you like it then you should have put a ring on it

0:06:50 > 0:06:53# If you like it then you should have put a ring on it

0:06:53 > 0:06:56# Don't be glad... a ring on it!

0:06:56 > 0:06:58# Whoa-oa-oa oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh, ow!

0:06:58 > 0:07:01# Whoa-oa-oa oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh... #

0:07:01 > 0:07:04Wow! You two look great light that, really rock 'n' roll.

0:07:10 > 0:07:14Crazy times. What is this thing?

0:07:17 > 0:07:21Hello! Everyone's really looking forward to the competition.

0:07:21 > 0:07:24That's great news, furry dude. What are you going to sing?

0:07:24 > 0:07:28Oh, I don't think I'm going to have a go. I'm not very good at singing.

0:07:28 > 0:07:32- Oh, it's not so difficult. - Well, you've been doing it for years.

0:07:32 > 0:07:35- Yeah, I know. Always on the go, nowhere to call home.- Really?

0:07:35 > 0:07:38Yeah, I'm totally out of touch with day-to-day life.

0:07:38 > 0:07:39I've been trying to work out

0:07:39 > 0:07:42how to use that hairdryer for about an hour.

0:07:42 > 0:07:48- Well, that's a toaster. For toasting bread.- No way, man!

0:07:48 > 0:07:51I always thought that came straight off the tree already toasted.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54Wow, you really are out of touch.

0:07:54 > 0:07:58Yes, I haven't even made a sandwich for about eight years.

0:07:58 > 0:08:00Perhaps you should have a go now?

0:08:00 > 0:08:04Awesome idea, then I can connect with the real world. How do I start?

0:08:04 > 0:08:08- Well, first you're going to need some bread.- Right.

0:08:08 > 0:08:11And then do I boil it in the hairdryer?

0:08:14 > 0:08:20- Morning, what's happening? - Just in time. Activate pants!

0:08:27 > 0:08:31- Whoa, what was that?- Just trying my new hammer pants.- Hammer pants?

0:08:31 > 0:08:34When will you ever need a pair of hammer pants?

0:08:34 > 0:08:38- For crushing melons.- Oh, right. - Now, what can I do for you?

0:08:38 > 0:08:40Oh, it's this new singing competition.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43I'd love to give it a go but I can't sing a note.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46I was wondering if you have any instruments I could learn.

0:08:46 > 0:08:50- Have you ever considered the xylophone?- The what?

0:08:50 > 0:08:54# Can't read my, can't read my, no you can't read my poker face... #

0:08:54 > 0:08:55Join in!

0:08:55 > 0:08:58Yeah, not really my kind of thing. You got anything else?

0:08:58 > 0:09:01Let's see what I've got in stock.

0:09:01 > 0:09:03Whoa.

0:09:04 > 0:09:08- That is a tuba. See how you get on with that.- Right you are.

0:09:10 > 0:09:15Now, where was I? Yes, activate pants.

0:09:15 > 0:09:19Argh! Why do I invent these things?

0:09:23 > 0:09:25Are you going to use your electric lyre for the competition?

0:09:25 > 0:09:31- No, it is too...- What, badly wired? - No it is...- Idiotic?- No.

0:09:31 > 0:09:37- It is too...- much of a terrible idea? - No. It is too coarse.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39I will start with an acoustic number

0:09:39 > 0:09:41that will demonstrate my marvellous vocal range.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44- That should be quite a short song.- Don't listen to him.

0:09:44 > 0:09:47- You've got a lovely voice.- Indeed. This is the tip of the iceberg.

0:09:47 > 0:09:51I rather fancy my first album might go gold. Then platinum.

0:09:51 > 0:09:53Maybe even myrrh.

0:09:53 > 0:10:00- That sounds great. Can I be in your band?- Of course you can.- Brilliant.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03Being in a band is hard work.

0:10:03 > 0:10:07When we are successful we will be selling out stadiums,

0:10:07 > 0:10:10and a lot of people will want to come and see us.

0:10:10 > 0:10:14- Yes.- Those people will need to be shown to their seats.

0:10:14 > 0:10:19The person who does that will be your boss.

0:10:22 > 0:10:23I'm not so keen now.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29Guys, guys, check this out.

0:10:29 > 0:10:32- I'm going to play the tuba.- What have you done to it?

0:10:32 > 0:10:37- I've unravelled it.- Unravelled it? - Yes, I had to. It was all curled up.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40Here goes.

0:10:40 > 0:10:43Hang on a second.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45TUNELESS BLARE

0:10:45 > 0:10:50Argh! Stop it, stop it!

0:10:55 > 0:10:58Oh, I think my cogs have popped.

0:11:00 > 0:11:02Maybe we should join forces.

0:11:02 > 0:11:05Signing up to the army will not get us anywhere.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08- No. Team up. Form a group. - That is not a bad idea.

0:11:08 > 0:11:10I might not feel so nervous if we are all singing.

0:11:10 > 0:11:12I might be able to stay in tune.

0:11:12 > 0:11:14Let's do it.

0:11:14 > 0:11:18Love a duck! I not going near that lot again.

0:11:18 > 0:11:21Exploding lyres, deafening tubas. Do you mind if I hole up in here?

0:11:21 > 0:11:23Guess what?

0:11:23 > 0:11:26- We're good to start a girl band. - Oh, are you?

0:11:26 > 0:11:28We stand a better chance if we work together.

0:11:28 > 0:11:32- Sounds like you need me as your manager.- What for?

0:11:32 > 0:11:35Just a couple of things.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38Contracts, venue hire, hotel bookings,

0:11:38 > 0:11:41your entourage, their entourage, their entourage's entourage,

0:11:41 > 0:11:43studio sessions, A & R, R & B, Ps & Qs, record labels,

0:11:43 > 0:11:51tigers, nappies, whelks, limos, catering. That is just your basics.

0:11:51 > 0:11:53Gosh I didn't realise it was so complicated.

0:11:53 > 0:11:58With me in charge it will be plain sailing. First up, what's your name?

0:11:58 > 0:12:01- Claire And Her Accessories.- No way. - Definitely not.- Why not

0:12:01 > 0:12:04- Alexia Plus Two?- The Kiki Three?

0:12:04 > 0:12:06ALL THREE ARGUE

0:12:08 > 0:12:15All right, all right. Turn it down. Very highly strung, these popstars.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22That's it, you are doing well.

0:12:22 > 0:12:26- Now you need to put the other slice of bread on top.- On top of what?

0:12:26 > 0:12:31- This toaster?- No, that is a vacuum cleaner.

0:12:31 > 0:12:37- You need to put the bread on the sandwich.- This is a crazy business!

0:12:37 > 0:12:44That's it. Lower. Don't be scared. There we go. Brilliant. Well done.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46A cheese sandwich.

0:12:46 > 0:12:49- Awesome.- Right, time to toast it.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53CRUNCH

0:12:57 > 0:13:04- Sorry, QM. I thought you're supposed to unravel it.- I'm sure it's fixable.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07- I don't suppose you've got any other instruments I could try?- Let us look.

0:13:09 > 0:13:12- A keyboard. You know how to play this don't you?- Of course.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14I'm not daft.

0:13:14 > 0:13:17Where are the strings?

0:13:20 > 0:13:24I would like this opportunity to tell the press our new name.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26The Console Girls.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28Under the guidance of our manager, Mr Romford,

0:13:28 > 0:13:30we are going to top the charts.

0:13:30 > 0:13:34And we're looking forward to our next album and tour.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36All right. That's enough.

0:13:36 > 0:13:40- Is this necessary?- It is vital to practise.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42You have to learn how to deal with the press.

0:13:42 > 0:13:45- Shouldn't we be preparing some songs? - No time for that.

0:13:45 > 0:13:49You have got a photo call to get to, then you got to split up, reform,

0:13:49 > 0:13:50split up again, reform,

0:13:50 > 0:13:53and one of you needs to marry a footballer.

0:13:59 > 0:14:06- Nearly there.- Maybe you should try making something else?- Squash!

0:14:06 > 0:14:09- I love orange squash. How do I make that?- That's easy.

0:14:09 > 0:14:11I'm sure you can do that.

0:14:11 > 0:14:15- Great! Let's go and dig up some oranges.- No, no, no.

0:14:15 > 0:14:21- Oranges don't grow in the ground. - Of course. I can be stupid sometimes.

0:14:21 > 0:14:23Oranges in the ground(!)

0:14:23 > 0:14:27I do of course realise that oranges are hatched out of eggs.

0:14:27 > 0:14:28STRUM

0:14:28 > 0:14:29To the orange farm!

0:14:35 > 0:14:40HE SINGS SCALES TUNELESSLY

0:14:47 > 0:14:51Aethelwynne. Aethelwynne.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53Aethelwynne. Aethelwynne.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55Aethelwynne.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57- AETHELWYNNE.- Argh!

0:14:59 > 0:15:02- Sgt Riley.- Do you know anything about keyboards?

0:15:02 > 0:15:04Smidgeon. Why?

0:15:04 > 0:15:05I can't get this one to work.

0:15:05 > 0:15:09I had to rearrange all the keys because they were all jumbled up.

0:15:09 > 0:15:12I put the white ones at the top and the black ones at the bottom.

0:15:12 > 0:15:14I still can't get it to work.

0:15:14 > 0:15:18Sgt Riley, the musical term for what you've achieved here

0:15:18 > 0:15:20is a "completi fiasco".

0:15:20 > 0:15:24- Right, yes. Is that a good thing?- No.- Oh dear.

0:15:24 > 0:15:28- How is that song of yours coming on?- Not bad. Ahem.

0:15:28 > 0:15:31FALSETTO: # Buddy you're a boy

0:15:31 > 0:15:34# Make a big noise playing in the street

0:15:34 > 0:15:35# Going to be a big man some day

0:15:35 > 0:15:39# You've got mud on your face you big...#

0:15:39 > 0:15:43What's so funny? I am singing all the right notes in the right place.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46No, it's fine. It's just it's not very rock.

0:15:46 > 0:15:48Listen to me, space buddy.

0:15:48 > 0:15:52If I were any more rock they'd be selling me at the seaside!

0:15:52 > 0:15:55No, no, no. You need to sound more like...

0:15:55 > 0:15:59# I'm cleaning up the sandwich mess... #

0:15:59 > 0:16:00Like that.

0:16:00 > 0:16:04# That Kirk made, yeah!

0:16:04 > 0:16:12# I'm cleaning up the sandwich mess that Kirk made, yeah! #

0:16:12 > 0:16:14Rex, what are you doing?

0:16:14 > 0:16:18I'm cleaning up the sandwich mess that Kirk made.

0:16:18 > 0:16:26- No, was that you singing?- No. Oh, yes.- How extraordinary.

0:16:26 > 0:16:29It is, isn't it? He hit it with a vacuum cleaner,

0:16:29 > 0:16:32now he's off to make egg squash.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35- No. I mean, I didn't know you had a voice like that.- You never asked.

0:16:35 > 0:16:40- Would you like to be in my band? - As a singer?

0:16:40 > 0:16:42As a backing singer of sorts.

0:16:42 > 0:16:44Yes please!

0:16:45 > 0:16:48Hi, Kirk. Have you managed to...?

0:16:48 > 0:16:52Ssh! It says concentrate!

0:16:57 > 0:17:01# You're not going to ring my telephone. #

0:17:04 > 0:17:10- Sorry, QM. I thought I was doing the right thing.- Oh, Riley.

0:17:10 > 0:17:15- I don't suppose you've got any other instruments?- I shouldn't really.

0:17:15 > 0:17:19Go on then. It's your last chance.

0:17:19 > 0:17:24- You know what these are don't you? - Do I know(?) Violins? Cheese?

0:17:24 > 0:17:28They're maracas. They are a percussion instrument. Shake them.

0:17:28 > 0:17:30Oh, right, yeah. Got you.

0:17:32 > 0:17:35You can't go wrong with those.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38Let's see if my modification has worked.

0:17:38 > 0:17:39Activate pants.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43MUSIC PLAYS

0:17:43 > 0:17:46Get down!

0:17:49 > 0:17:51One, two, three, four.

0:17:52 > 0:17:56# Buddy you're a boy make a big noise playing in the street

0:17:56 > 0:17:58# Going to be a big man some day

0:17:58 > 0:18:00# You've got mud on your face You big disgrace

0:18:00 > 0:18:02# Kicking... #

0:18:02 > 0:18:06No, I forgot that bit. Cut, cut, cut.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11Do I have to sing from underneath this box?

0:18:11 > 0:18:15It will make life a lot easier if you can't be seen, trust me.

0:18:15 > 0:18:20- But why?- If no one knows it's you singing

0:18:20 > 0:18:23you won't have to do any of the boring stuff when we're successful.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26Like signing autographs, getting hassle from fans. It's hard work.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28- Is it?- Yes. Once you're famous

0:18:28 > 0:18:32you couldn't pop out and buy an apple for example.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35- Couldn't you? - No. You'd get mobbed by fans.

0:18:35 > 0:18:36Wow!

0:18:36 > 0:18:40If I can't have any more apples, I definitely don't want to be famous.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42Exactly. I'm doing you a huge favour.

0:18:42 > 0:18:46Let's practise. The competition starts in an hour.

0:18:46 > 0:18:50Hey, dudes. I brought you some squash.

0:18:50 > 0:18:51Brilliant. Well done.

0:18:51 > 0:18:53It was easier than I thought.

0:18:53 > 0:18:56You just pour it straight into the glass.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01You didn't put any water in this.

0:19:01 > 0:19:04Water?

0:19:04 > 0:19:06Sugar rush!

0:19:10 > 0:19:12It may be a bit strong.

0:19:17 > 0:19:22Right, ladies. We have got the name, the look. We have got the action.

0:19:22 > 0:19:25Let's get out there and win that competition.

0:19:25 > 0:19:30Hang on a second. What are we going to sing?

0:19:30 > 0:19:31Both: Oh, yeah.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33I knew there was something I'd forgotten.

0:19:33 > 0:19:37I'm sure we'll sound fine. Why don't we try this one?

0:19:37 > 0:19:391, 2, 3, 4.

0:19:39 > 0:19:42# Da, da, da, da, da, da

0:19:43 > 0:19:46# Da, da, da, da, da, da

0:19:46 > 0:19:50# (OUT OF TUNE) I like the tie around your neck

0:19:50 > 0:19:54# I make you look so good in it

0:19:54 > 0:19:57# I like the watch around your wrist

0:19:57 > 0:20:00THEY SING DIFFERENT WORDS

0:20:06 > 0:20:09- I think you've over routed the axle cable on my auditory server.- What?

0:20:09 > 0:20:11It's hurting my ears, love.

0:20:11 > 0:20:14Luckily, your Uncle Romford has a plan.

0:20:14 > 0:20:16Here, sing into this.

0:20:16 > 0:20:21That may be able to polish your sound a little.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24OK, all set? From the top.

0:20:24 > 0:20:28# Da, da, da, da, da

0:20:28 > 0:20:30# Da, da, da, da, da

0:20:30 > 0:20:33# I like the tie around your neck

0:20:33 > 0:20:37# I'll make you look so good in it

0:20:37 > 0:20:42# I like your watch around your wrist

0:20:42 > 0:20:45# Just wind me up and go tick, tock, tick. #

0:20:45 > 0:20:49- Wow.- That sounded great.

0:20:49 > 0:20:50Yes. Auto tuning, love.

0:20:50 > 0:20:53You put guff through that and it will come out sounding like Beyonce.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56Isn't that cheating?

0:20:56 > 0:20:58Who said anything about cheating?

0:20:58 > 0:21:01It is just a helping hand. Every band does it.

0:21:01 > 0:21:02Really?

0:21:02 > 0:21:05Oh, yeah. That Lady Goo Goo,

0:21:05 > 0:21:08Fizzy Rascal, Winchy Tinchy Spider, Jason Timberlake.

0:21:08 > 0:21:09They are tone deaf, the lot of them.

0:21:09 > 0:21:13As long as everyone does it.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16Come on, Claireparker. We don't stand a chance without it.

0:21:17 > 0:21:20Absolutely. Have another go. Practice makes perfect.

0:21:20 > 0:21:231, 2, 3, 4.

0:21:32 > 0:21:36- So exciting.- Please, let me win. Please, let me win.

0:21:36 > 0:21:40# Here come the girls... #

0:21:40 > 0:21:42Wow.

0:21:42 > 0:21:46- You look great.- Oi, do not distract the artistes.

0:21:46 > 0:21:50Has anyone seen Kirk? He should be judging.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53He said he was preparing a little something for us all.

0:21:53 > 0:21:59Surprise! I have made you all a nice cup of squash. It's party time.

0:21:59 > 0:22:01Well done. You finally did it.

0:22:01 > 0:22:04- Did you remember to put water in it this time?- Oh, yeah.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06I got it just right. Drink up.

0:22:08 > 0:22:10This is my shoe.

0:22:10 > 0:22:13Ssh. This is his big moment. Don't ruin it for him.

0:22:13 > 0:22:16There you go, girls. Enjoy.

0:22:16 > 0:22:21Oops, I forgot about you, little robot dude.

0:22:21 > 0:22:26No, no. I'm fine. Don't worry about me.

0:22:26 > 0:22:28Shall I just pour it straight in?

0:22:28 > 0:22:29ALL: No!

0:22:29 > 0:22:33- No, no...- Rock on!

0:22:33 > 0:22:36'This is the Console. Competition time.

0:22:36 > 0:22:38'Will the judge please take his seat.

0:22:38 > 0:22:43'First contestants, Alexia, Claireparker and Fifi Nova.'

0:22:43 > 0:22:44APPLAUSE

0:22:46 > 0:22:48Romford? Romford? You all right?

0:22:48 > 0:22:51He's a super powerful computer. He will be fine.

0:22:51 > 0:22:54He's a super powerful computer full of orange squash.

0:22:54 > 0:22:56I don't think it's done him any good.

0:22:56 > 0:23:00Where am I? I don't need my hair cut. The girl guides have stolen my piano.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03Romford, we're about to start.

0:23:03 > 0:23:07It's half past two. Where's all the cutlery? What's going on?

0:23:07 > 0:23:09Why are you dressed as bears?

0:23:09 > 0:23:11'Please welcome the Console Girls.'

0:23:11 > 0:23:13We'll just have to do our best.

0:23:15 > 0:23:19# Da, da, da, da, da

0:23:19 > 0:23:22# Da, da, da, da, da, da

0:23:22 > 0:23:26# I like your tie around your neck

0:23:26 > 0:23:30# I'll make you look so good in it

0:23:30 > 0:23:34# I like your watch around your wrist

0:23:34 > 0:23:37# Just wind me up and go tick, tock, tick

0:23:37 > 0:23:39# And you make me want to sing... #

0:23:39 > 0:23:43SHE SINGS OUT OF TUNE

0:23:43 > 0:23:49# Oh, around my neck... #

0:23:51 > 0:23:53BUZZER

0:23:53 > 0:23:55What's going on?

0:23:55 > 0:23:59Sorry, Romford was using an autotuner to make us

0:23:59 > 0:24:02sound better and I think it's gone a bit haywire.

0:24:02 > 0:24:05An autotuner?! You blatant cheats!

0:24:05 > 0:24:08You're all disqualified, I'm afraid.

0:24:08 > 0:24:10Romford said it wasn't cheating.

0:24:10 > 0:24:14Romford? Oh, me cogs! I'm off to dry out.

0:24:15 > 0:24:18- Next!- Next contestant, Sgt Riley.

0:24:24 > 0:24:27Right, I think I've cracked it this time.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44Shouldn't they make some sort of noise?

0:24:45 > 0:24:48They were making a silly shaking noise.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50Turns out, someone left a load of beans in them.

0:24:50 > 0:24:51I threw those away.

0:24:51 > 0:24:52BUZZER

0:24:52 > 0:24:54Next!

0:24:54 > 0:24:58Unbelievable. You people.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01'Next contestant, Aethelwynne.

0:25:04 > 0:25:06APPLAUSE

0:25:10 > 0:25:14# Buddy, you're a boy make a big noise

0:25:14 > 0:25:17# Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day

0:25:17 > 0:25:18# You got mud on your face

0:25:18 > 0:25:20# You big disgrace

0:25:20 > 0:25:22# Kickin' your can all over the place

0:25:22 > 0:25:27# We will, we will rock you

0:25:28 > 0:25:31# We will, we will... #

0:25:31 > 0:25:33# Rock you... #

0:25:35 > 0:25:37I can explain.

0:25:37 > 0:25:38Next!

0:25:38 > 0:25:41There isn't a next. That's everyone.

0:25:41 > 0:25:43And you all cheated.

0:25:43 > 0:25:46No-one did anything musical at all.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Apart from my little friend Rex.

0:25:48 > 0:25:52Which is why he should be the one who sings in the video.

0:25:52 > 0:25:54Well done, Rex.

0:25:54 > 0:25:56You've got the best voice.

0:25:56 > 0:25:58In fact, he's such a good singer, I'd like him

0:25:58 > 0:26:00to join the band full-time.

0:26:00 > 0:26:01Wow!

0:26:01 > 0:26:04- That's amazing.- Go, Rex.

0:26:05 > 0:26:07I'm not sure I want to be in a band.

0:26:07 > 0:26:08Why ever not?

0:26:08 > 0:26:12Well, being mobbed all the time, not being able to buy apples.

0:26:13 > 0:26:17Ah, yes, um, Rex, I, um... I made that up.

0:26:17 > 0:26:22Sorry about that. It was mean of me.

0:26:22 > 0:26:24I tried to pass of your voice as my own.

0:26:24 > 0:26:28- You should join the band. - What an opportunity!

0:26:28 > 0:26:30Imagine, a rock star.

0:26:30 > 0:26:31I don't think so.

0:26:31 > 0:26:39- No?- I don't want to be famous. I'm happy being here with my friends.

0:26:39 > 0:26:44I still need someone to sing in the video. Who could it be?

0:26:56 > 0:26:58I still don't see why he got to be in the band.

0:26:58 > 0:27:02He was the only one left.

0:27:02 > 0:27:09# Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine, oh, yeah

0:27:09 > 0:27:14# You can dance, you can jive

0:27:14 > 0:27:18# Having the time of your life

0:27:18 > 0:27:23# Ooh, see that girl, watch that scene

0:27:23 > 0:27:25# This is the dancing queen. #

0:27:36 > 0:27:38'This is the Console. Please go

0:27:38 > 0:27:41'to the CBBC website where the Pixelface games can now be played.'

0:27:41 > 0:27:44Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd