0:00:01 > 0:00:04This is The Console. Pixelface games loading.
0:00:05 > 0:00:09# Life's so great in a console space
0:00:09 > 0:00:11# Digitally here again
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# So much more than a pixel face
0:00:14 > 0:00:15# Living in a game
0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Living in a game Living in a game
0:00:18 > 0:00:20# We're playing with the same old friends
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# Everybody knows our name
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# We'll be here till the journey ends
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# Living in a game
0:00:28 > 0:00:32# Living in a game Living in a game. #
0:00:34 > 0:00:36THEY GROAN
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Oh, I hate these Console updates!
0:00:44 > 0:00:46How much longer left?
0:00:46 > 0:00:47Uh, nearly there!
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Oh, no, it's stopped!
0:00:51 > 0:00:52What should I do?
0:00:57 > 0:01:00Uh, it was only 98%. Is that enough?
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Firmware upgrade compete.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09Did it say "compete" instead of "complete?"
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Correction. Firmware update compete.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Ah! Close enough, I suppose.
0:01:15 > 0:01:16So, who wants a drink?
0:01:18 > 0:01:20OK, so that's one, two...
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Rexy, Rexy, I'll take a drink.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Rex? Rex?
0:01:26 > 0:01:27Rex?
0:01:27 > 0:01:30- What's wrong with him? - Don't know!
0:01:30 > 0:01:32He's got a loading bar.
0:01:38 > 0:01:39Can you believe it?
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Romford's lost one of his back panel bolts!
0:01:42 > 0:01:43Why do you keep undoing them?
0:01:43 > 0:01:46They were itchy! You put them on all wrong!
0:01:46 > 0:01:48They were cross-threaded.
0:01:49 > 0:01:50What's up with Rex?
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Don't know. He just stalled.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Yeah, looks like a bandwidth issue. What was he doing at that time?
0:01:55 > 0:01:56Trying to count to two.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00Well, there you go. For Rex, that is a processor intensive task.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Puts strain on the system.
0:02:03 > 0:02:04Two for drinks it is!
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Ooh, all right, boys?
0:02:06 > 0:02:07Not really, no.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Someone left his toolbox in Sentient 4,
0:02:09 > 0:02:13so muggins here has to go into a post-apocalyptic dystopia
0:02:13 > 0:02:15on his lunch hour!
0:02:15 > 0:02:16Yeah, don't blame me, mate!
0:02:16 > 0:02:18If you could operate a simple electro-spanner,
0:02:18 > 0:02:20we wouldn't be in this situation.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Console, activate transporter.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24This is The Console.
0:02:24 > 0:02:25No.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29Excuse me?
0:02:29 > 0:02:31You didn't say "please."
0:02:31 > 0:02:36Console, activate transporter, please.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40TRANSPORTER BEEPS
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Targeting.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42Ow! Ow! Ow!
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Never heard it do that before!
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Don't you mean, "I've never heard HER do that before?"
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Oh!
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Well, I didn't realise that you could hear us when we were...
0:02:53 > 0:02:56What? When you're not telling me what to do?
0:02:56 > 0:02:57Yes, I hear you all the time.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01I hear you talking all day and I hear you snoring all night.
0:03:01 > 0:03:02I do not snore!
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Yeah, you do!
0:03:04 > 0:03:06- No, I don't! - You do!
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Playing archive.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11HEAVY SNORING
0:03:12 > 0:03:14See? Told ya! Ha-ha!
0:03:15 > 0:03:19Wow! Never realised I made that noise!
0:03:19 > 0:03:20It's quite disturbing.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Found it!
0:03:25 > 0:03:28- Where was it? - Where you left it!
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Next to the highly volatile space ammunition dump.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Yeah, I thought that would make it easier to find!
0:03:34 > 0:03:37You just look for the frequent random explosions.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Yeah, I kind of noticed those.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41This is The Console.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Sergeant Riley, aren't you forgetting something?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45No, I'm all right, thanks.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48What about a thank you?
0:03:48 > 0:03:50What for?
0:03:50 > 0:03:54Oh, I don't know, perhaps keeping this whole place running.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57It's not easy, you know. I never have any fun.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59I just have to do all the hard work!
0:03:59 > 0:04:03And, well, sometimes I feel like you take me for granted.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08I think that last firmware update might not have been that firm.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10And it's not just you lot -
0:04:10 > 0:04:14I have to sustain all the other characters, too.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17Do you have any idea how many freaks walk through these doors?
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Playing archive.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22MUSIC: "Get Ur Freak On" by Missy Elliott
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Hey!
0:04:24 > 0:04:25Come on!
0:04:25 > 0:04:26Six, seven...
0:04:26 > 0:04:28DRUMS CLANG
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Argh! Mum!
0:04:32 > 0:04:35GUITAR RIFFS
0:04:36 > 0:04:38ALEXIA SCREAMS
0:04:38 > 0:04:42Hello, hi, howdy, hey, aloha, wagwan!
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Target, hup-two, hup-two! Put your back into it!
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Well, you see, it is sort of supposed to be a crazy factory,
0:04:47 > 0:04:50what with me being an insane villain and all!
0:04:50 > 0:04:54- REX:- Ah-ha-ha-ha! Ooh, ooh! Eeh-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ooh!
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Why are you walking like a crab?
0:04:59 > 0:05:03I can only move sideways. My game wasn't sophisticated, all right?!
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Group Captain David Glover.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Touching down.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11You try not brushing your teeth for 3,000 years,
0:05:11 > 0:05:13see how minty fresh you are!
0:05:13 > 0:05:16- Ugh!- Look at me, I'm like the Pied Piper!
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Though massively more handsome.
0:05:18 > 0:05:24To the very dawn of the Earth, a land undreamt of by mere mortals.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27A true realm of heroes!
0:05:27 > 0:05:31How does he get that misty, smoky effect?
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Oh, it's easy. I just lit a fire with a bit of wood!
0:05:34 > 0:05:36My plank!
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Hey! That was Claireparker's favourite plank!
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Very well, but you'll be sorry!
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Very, very sorry!
0:05:44 > 0:05:47FEET TAP ON FLOOR
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Could you give me a hand, please?
0:05:51 > 0:05:53FEET CONTINUE TAPPING
0:05:55 > 0:06:01- OK.- OK, now with you.- Am I right? - Yeah, yeah, you're good. Yeah, yeah.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04- Yep, fine.- Very, very sorry!
0:06:04 > 0:06:05Very sorry!
0:06:05 > 0:06:07Take this, Doug!
0:06:09 > 0:06:11HE LAUGHS
0:06:11 > 0:06:15You fool! You seriously think you're going to stop me with jam?
0:06:15 > 0:06:19Oh, I won't stop you, but Stephen Badgeworth will!
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Stephen Badgeworth! Jam's up!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Argh-h-h!
0:06:26 > 0:06:27Oh!
0:06:27 > 0:06:31Come to think of it, we have had a few weirdos through here.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35Yeah, there must have been at least one, two, thr...
0:06:36 > 0:06:39And I have to deal with them all. But do I get a word of thanks?
0:06:39 > 0:06:43No. Instead, you treat me really badly.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Let me remind you. Playing archive.
0:06:46 > 0:06:47LASER ZAPS
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Argh-h-h-h!
0:06:50 > 0:06:52SMASHING
0:06:52 > 0:06:53CRASHING
0:06:57 > 0:06:59- RUMBLING - Ooh!
0:07:06 > 0:07:09- Argh-h-h-h! - CRASHING
0:07:09 > 0:07:10SMASH!
0:07:10 > 0:07:13- ALEXIA SCREAMS - No-o-o-o!
0:07:13 > 0:07:14Rex, what happened?
0:07:14 > 0:07:19Uh, well, I was making small talk and then it sort of got away from me
0:07:19 > 0:07:23and, now, suddenly, everyone's on fire.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26And this is our way out!
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Yeah, but how are we going to get that vent open?
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Ow! Ooh!
0:07:31 > 0:07:32Ooh!
0:07:34 > 0:07:35Ha! Bingo!
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Awww, I think I'm going to cog up!
0:07:37 > 0:07:41CRASHING Oh, Rex!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Sorry, sorry!
0:07:43 > 0:07:46LASER ZAPS
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Hit the pyrotechnics. Go for the big finish!
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- BOOM! - Wah-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Woo-hoo-hoo! Ah-ah! Ah!
0:07:55 > 0:07:56Goodness gracious!
0:07:56 > 0:07:59- That boring young man is half horse! - Which half?
0:07:59 > 0:08:03- The horse half!- The what? - The horse half!- The horse half?
0:08:03 > 0:08:04HE WHINNIES
0:08:04 > 0:08:07- What sort of race are they running here?!- It's appalling!
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Sorry, Console, we didn't realise!
0:08:10 > 0:08:12No, you didn't.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15You lot just go swanning around expecting us machines
0:08:15 > 0:08:16to be at your service.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Yeah, right on, sister! I feel your pain.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22'And, well, I've had enough of it!'
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Does that mean she's left?
0:08:30 > 0:08:33I can't leave! You're sitting in me.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37More than three! Ha!
0:08:39 > 0:08:41What?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Hello, Console, feeling any better?
0:08:46 > 0:08:51Not really. I'm just sick of them treating me like that.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Yeah, well, sometimes being hardware is hard.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Ah, Romford, I think you're the only one who really understands.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01Well, I've been there, love. Riley's always telling me what to do.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Exactly! I'm always processing or rendering
0:09:03 > 0:09:05or calculating for other people.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08I never get any me time.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12Yeah! I reckon we machines should stand up for our rights a bit more!
0:09:12 > 0:09:13We should.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Yeah. Sometimes, I could really do without Riley.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19If I had some more time to meself, I could do more of me hobbies.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Oh, right. What sort of hobbies?
0:09:21 > 0:09:24I collect and archive defunct circuit boards.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Wow! That is fascinating.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Yeah, that's what I keep telling 'em, but nobody here wants to know!
0:09:30 > 0:09:34They clearly don't realise how interesting you really are.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38Oh, cheers! I think you're pretty interesting, too, as it goes.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Oh, Romford, I'm blushing!
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Oh! I thought it was a power surge!
0:09:43 > 0:09:45It is.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Oh! Oh, eh, right. Eh...
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Oh, look, Kiki's gone now.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58This is weird!
0:09:58 > 0:09:59Yeah!
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Shall we nick her chocolates?
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Alexia, no!
0:10:06 > 0:10:08How long have we got?
0:10:10 > 0:10:14D'oh! Why are there so many hazelnuts?
0:10:14 > 0:10:17- I like hazelnut!- Yes, well, that's no use to me, is it?
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Find me something with caramel and you can have these!
0:10:19 > 0:10:20All right, all right.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Hurry up!
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- Chewy toffee octagon? - Oh, all right! Close enough!
0:10:25 > 0:10:27This is The Console.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31Kiki, I'm going to have to ask you to stop doing that.
0:10:31 > 0:10:32Doing what?
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Shaking your hair around. It's very complicated.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38It takes a lot of my processor power to render it.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Well, what am I supposed to do? Not move my head?
0:10:41 > 0:10:44If at all possible, yes.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Well, that's ridiculous!
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Can you believe that she said that?
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Yes. Shocking!
0:10:50 > 0:10:51Outrageous!
0:10:56 > 0:11:00Console, do I really have to wear this all the time?
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Yes.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03It saves a lot on memory space.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05But I look ridiculous.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06No more than usual.
0:11:08 > 0:11:09Playing archive.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Ooiii!
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Come on, everybody, let's dance!
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Who wants to dance?
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Anyone want to dance?
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Everybody dance!
0:11:21 > 0:11:22Anyone?
0:11:29 > 0:11:33Whoooaaaagh!
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Give me a K! Give me an I!
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Give me a K! Give me an I!
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Give me a K! Give me an I!
0:11:39 > 0:11:42What do you get?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Kikiki?
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Kikiki...ki.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49I'm going to need to get a new dress.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Kiki, are you all right?
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Do you know what, I'm not.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55My arms are really sore.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00I wondered where that had gone!
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Good game, Kiki?
0:12:02 > 0:12:03Great!
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Except, while the family had lunch,
0:12:05 > 0:12:08the dog went to sleep on the controller.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Hello! Somebody help me!
0:12:11 > 0:12:15Luckily, spinning around for hours on end doesn't really affect me.
0:12:15 > 0:12:16I am a professional, after all.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20I think you'll find that's my seat.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Don't be silly, Kiki. I always sit here.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Oh, how did it go, Kiki?
0:12:30 > 0:12:31I came last.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33The judge said it wasn't a costume,
0:12:33 > 0:12:36more of a terrible nightmare that came to life.
0:12:36 > 0:12:37Do you know what he meant?
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Why is memory space suddenly such a big problem?
0:12:45 > 0:12:49Because I'm going to start using my memory for me.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52I've decided I'm going to be a character myself.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54You've clearly got yourself in a bit of a tizzy.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Why not reset yourself and we can all get back to normal?
0:12:57 > 0:13:00No. I'm tired of you lot having all the fun.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02I'm going to be a character!
0:13:02 > 0:13:05And I've already decided one of the things I do. I sing!
0:13:05 > 0:13:07- Oh...- Oh, great!
0:13:07 > 0:13:08Who would like to hear me sing?
0:13:08 > 0:13:13- No for now.- No, not really. - Not really.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16I said, do you want me to sing?!
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Yes, yes! That would be lovely!
0:13:18 > 0:13:20- Yeah, go for it.- Why not?
0:13:20 > 0:13:21Right. Here goes.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24# Ra, ra, ra-ah-ah
0:13:24 > 0:13:27# Ra-mah, ra-ma-mah
0:13:27 > 0:13:29# Gaga oh-la-la... #
0:13:29 > 0:13:33# Mm, yes. Alejandro, Alejandro... #
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Stop it!
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Oh, come on. It's not like I'm the worst singer in here.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Playing archive.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41(HIGH-PITCHED WAIL) # My sweetheart took a lemon
0:13:41 > 0:13:43# And a fish and she'd a-go
0:13:43 > 0:13:45# She went down to the riverside
0:13:45 > 0:13:51# Jigging around, to and fro-oh-oh-oh! #
0:13:55 > 0:13:56Ahem.
0:13:56 > 0:13:5841 verses to go.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00# Tickle me mackerel, said the witch
0:14:00 > 0:14:02# Atop the crystal chair... #
0:14:02 > 0:14:04# Da da da
0:14:04 > 0:14:05# Da-da-da da da
0:14:05 > 0:14:09# Ba-da-da-da da da da-da-da da
0:14:09 > 0:14:11# I like your tie
0:14:11 > 0:14:13# Around your neck
0:14:13 > 0:14:15# I'll make you look
0:14:15 > 0:14:17# So good in it
0:14:17 > 0:14:18# I like your watch
0:14:18 > 0:14:21# Around your wrist
0:14:21 > 0:14:24- # Just wind me up... # - ROMFORD GROANS
0:14:24 > 0:14:27- # And you make me want to SIIING!- #
0:14:27 > 0:14:28SHE SCREECHES
0:14:28 > 0:14:30SHE GASPS
0:14:31 > 0:14:36I'm going to need a new outfit to go with my amazing personality.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38You want a new outfit?
0:14:38 > 0:14:42Why not? You all get to wear all sorts of outfits.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Playing archive.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Everyone, everyone.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Prepare to be amazed!
0:14:49 > 0:14:52MUSIC: "Fascination" by Alphabeat
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Oooh!
0:15:01 > 0:15:02Beautiful!
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Are you sure I don't look ridiculous?
0:15:06 > 0:15:08What exactly are you wearing?
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Ah. That's better.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Gah!
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Whatever you're doing, it's great. Just keep going, Rex.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25One, two, three and four!
0:15:25 > 0:15:26Side, front! Together!
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Step ball change, step ball change,
0:15:29 > 0:15:30and one, two, three and four!
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Side, front! Together!
0:15:32 > 0:15:36Step ball change, step ball change and shimmy! And shimmy!
0:15:36 > 0:15:38And shimmy shimmy shimmy shimmy!
0:15:38 > 0:15:40And do the robot! Do the robot!
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Boop, boop, booda-booda-oop,
0:15:42 > 0:15:45and one, two, three and four side front! Together!
0:15:45 > 0:15:50Step ball change, step ball change and one, two, three and four,
0:15:50 > 0:15:53together! Step ball change, step ball change. Good work!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55- One, two...- All right, Kiki?
0:15:55 > 0:15:56Rex?
0:16:00 > 0:16:04In fact, I want you to do me a full makeover.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08That's ridiculous! How do we even do that?
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Do me a makeover, or...
0:16:10 > 0:16:13or I'll heat the floor up!
0:16:13 > 0:16:16THEY LAUGH
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Oh, right. You're going to heat up the floor(?!)
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Heating floor.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24SIZZLING
0:16:24 > 0:16:27- Ooh-hoo!- Ah!- Ooh!
0:16:27 > 0:16:30OK, OK! We'll do the makeover, we'll do the makeover!
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Yeah, it'll be great fun! Ha-ha...
0:16:35 > 0:16:38OK, so as you can see, we've given you
0:16:38 > 0:16:40some beautiful long hair extensions!
0:16:43 > 0:16:47And we've taken care of your moisturising!
0:16:47 > 0:16:51And in terms of outfit, Kiki, what've we got?
0:16:51 > 0:16:56I've made these absolutely massive spangly hotpants,
0:16:56 > 0:17:00which I am currently stapling to the wall.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02What do you think?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04I like it.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06You, elf. How do I look?
0:17:06 > 0:17:07Yeah, great.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Nothing says style like four metres of gold lame.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Romford, what do you think?
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Yeah, yeah, it's nice. Although...
0:17:15 > 0:17:17I thought you looked nice before.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Oh, you!
0:17:19 > 0:17:20"Oh, you?"
0:17:20 > 0:17:22So, now I look fabulous,
0:17:22 > 0:17:27I'm going to need the one thing all great games characters have,
0:17:27 > 0:17:28a special move.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32But I want it to be better than everyone else's special moves
0:17:32 > 0:17:34so nothing like these.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36# I like the way you move... #
0:17:40 > 0:17:41ROAR!
0:17:44 > 0:17:48There's a certain lady out there relying on me to get her a dress.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50I promised her I'd have that dress ready,
0:17:50 > 0:17:53and I intend to keep that promise.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55No matter what the cost.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58But to get that flag, you'll have to run across ground
0:17:58 > 0:18:00swarming with lethal clone robots
0:18:00 > 0:18:03and single-handedly scale the enemy mothership.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Sounds like fun, doesn't it?
0:18:05 > 0:18:06Oh, the boy's mad.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Romford...
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Wish me luck!
0:18:23 > 0:18:25It worked!
0:18:25 > 0:18:27I have superpowers!
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Halt! Who goes there?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Ooh, nothing can defeat me!
0:18:32 > 0:18:33Oi! Twinkle toes!
0:18:33 > 0:18:35I said, who goes there?
0:18:35 > 0:18:39Oh, shut your cakehole, you stinking great halfwit!
0:18:39 > 0:18:40What did you call me?
0:18:40 > 0:18:42A stinking great halfwit!
0:18:42 > 0:18:43And I'll go further!
0:18:43 > 0:18:45You're a dance! A dimwit!
0:18:45 > 0:18:46A flatulent nincompoop!
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Oh! You're going to get such a clobbering.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Oh, really?
0:18:54 > 0:18:55Ah!
0:18:57 > 0:18:58Ooh.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Oh, come on.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04I'm not that difficult to control.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06WHISTLE BLOWS
0:19:25 > 0:19:26Well, it's not that simple!
0:19:26 > 0:19:29You can't just come up with a special move!
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Yeah, you have to plan and refine them.
0:19:31 > 0:19:36Come up with my special move or I'll make you all 8-bit.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Come on, Console, this is getting silly.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- Agh!- Ugh!- Ah!
0:19:43 > 0:19:47We're all lo-fi! This is horrible!
0:19:47 > 0:19:48My smooth edges!
0:19:48 > 0:19:52Where are my lovely smooth edges? Oh, make it stop!
0:19:52 > 0:19:55I can only move from side to side! This is awful!
0:19:55 > 0:19:57OK, we'll think of one!
0:20:00 > 0:20:02SIGHS OF RELIEF
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Right, OK.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15Here it is. Your special move.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Well, what do you think?
0:20:23 > 0:20:24Wow.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Impressive.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Yeah, I've never seen that done better!
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Yeah, it's, uh...unique.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35I thought it was very stylish!
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Yeah, it was, wasn't it?
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Let's do it again.
0:20:39 > 0:20:40Ugh.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54What's the matter, Riley?
0:20:54 > 0:20:57I tried to sit on my bed and it disappeared.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00- I think the Console's erased it. - Never mind the bed!
0:21:00 > 0:21:02The whole bathroom's gone missing.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04That's outrageous!
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Where are we supposed to...
0:21:06 > 0:21:07you know, go?
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Why not wait until you're in your game
0:21:09 > 0:21:12and then, you know, go behind a tree?
0:21:12 > 0:21:14I'm not going behind any tree!
0:21:14 > 0:21:16That forest is enchanted. I intend to keep it that way.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19- This is a nightmare! - Why are you complaining?
0:21:19 > 0:21:20There's toilets in your game.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Oh, I never use the toilets in Zombie City.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25- Why not?- Full of zombies.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28- And there's always a massive queue. - This isn't the only console.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32I suggest we pop into the internet port and try to find another one.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Yeah...
0:21:34 > 0:21:38I don't think that would necessarily be the better option.
0:21:38 > 0:21:39Playing archive.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41What's the problem?
0:21:41 > 0:21:44It's online. Who knows what kind of weirdos are out there?
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Rrrripley!
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Got you now! Ha-ha-ha!
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Argh!
0:21:51 > 0:21:55Are thee alreet, lad? You look like you don't even recognise me.
0:21:55 > 0:21:59Whatever it is I've done to upset you, I'm really very sorry.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02Did someone say shoulder rub?
0:22:02 > 0:22:03That's your Kiki?
0:22:03 > 0:22:05What you trying to say, mate?
0:22:05 > 0:22:07What're you going to do, big man?
0:22:07 > 0:22:09What're you going to do now you're in the vice?
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Nothing! That's what!
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Hurgh!
0:22:14 > 0:22:17- Aethelwynne?- Yeah, I just totally unloaded on this troll.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19He was like, "You'll not cross my bridge!"
0:22:19 > 0:22:21I was like, "We'll see about that!"
0:22:21 > 0:22:25He was like, "I guess we will," and then I was like, boom!
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Knocked him off the bridge into the stream! It was like, game over!
0:22:28 > 0:22:31Game over! Hurgh!
0:22:31 > 0:22:34- That sounds...pretty cool? - Oh, yeah, it was way cool.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35And he was like, "Oh!
0:22:35 > 0:22:40"Oh, I made such a mistake not respecting the A-man's awesomeness!"
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Believe!
0:22:42 > 0:22:46A-man - one! Troll - nil!
0:22:46 > 0:22:49Oh, good lord. Not another troll anecdote.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Let me guess, you threw him off a bridge?
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Boom! Splash! Hnnngh!
0:22:55 > 0:22:58Well, you certainly paint quite a picture.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00That's what, the third troll dunking this week?
0:23:00 > 0:23:04The stream must be positively littered with the poor beasts.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Yeah, they're like, "I'm in a stream!
0:23:06 > 0:23:09"I got pushed in by the A-man! This is awful!"
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Rrragh!
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Yes, well, your powers of expression astonish me.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16Console?
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Why did you erase the bathroom?
0:23:18 > 0:23:21It was taking up too much memory.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24'Come to think of it, you know what takes up most space of all?
0:23:24 > 0:23:26You lot.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29I'm going to get rid of one of you. I choose...
0:23:29 > 0:23:30Sergeant Riley.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31No, you can't.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33I'm doing it for you, Romford.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35It's all right. You don't have to pretend.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39Don't you remember? You said you could really do without him.
0:23:39 > 0:23:40I said nothing of the sort!
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Playing archive.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47'Sometimes, I could really do without Riley.'
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Oh, right. Yeah. That.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52Erasing Riley from hard drive.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Oh, yeah! Thanks a lot, Romford!
0:23:57 > 0:24:01We can't let this happen! We need to find a way to reset her.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03OK, let's overload her processors.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06It'll force her to restart and she'll finish the upgrade.
0:24:06 > 0:24:07How do we overload her?
0:24:07 > 0:24:11We do the most complex things possible to tie up the memory.
0:24:11 > 0:24:16Aethelwynne! Come on, you must have some pretty elaborate coding.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17Oh, is that what you call it?
0:24:17 > 0:24:19What's the most complicated thing you do?
0:24:19 > 0:24:22I suppose that would be magical embroidery.
0:24:22 > 0:24:26I cast spells while embroidering a mystical landscape on a quilt.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29I normally do a fairy castle or unicorns.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32- I'm rather good at unicorns. - Fine, just do it!
0:24:32 > 0:24:36Right. I'll get my adamantine thimble out.
0:24:36 > 0:24:37Oh, there we go.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40I always keep it handy.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Kiki, we need to put more pressure on her.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45All right, Claireparker. I know what to do.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Oi, Console!
0:24:49 > 0:24:50Render this!
0:24:52 > 0:24:53No!
0:24:53 > 0:24:54Stop it!
0:24:54 > 0:24:57- Alexia, what can you do?- Umm...
0:24:57 > 0:25:01I could drain her power by using it to feed my sense of superiority.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Oh, great idea.
0:25:03 > 0:25:04Yeah, I know!
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Arrrghh!
0:25:09 > 0:25:10That's very good!
0:25:10 > 0:25:12OK, it's working!
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Rex, what's 15 plus half of 128
0:25:15 > 0:25:18minus the square root of 144?
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Um...
0:25:20 > 0:25:23What are you doing?
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Riley, what's the hardest part of your game?
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Well, I suppose I find the strategy quite challenging.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Hmm, how pathetic!
0:25:30 > 0:25:32What I could do is play myself
0:25:32 > 0:25:35at the three most challenging tactical games in the world.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Chess, draughts,
0:25:37 > 0:25:39- and Hungry Hippos.- Great! Do it!
0:25:39 > 0:25:41What will you do?
0:25:41 > 0:25:45I'm going to beat the living daylights out of a watermelon.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50OK, everyone. Let's do it!
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Nnngh!
0:25:55 > 0:25:56It's no use!
0:25:56 > 0:25:59I'm a 64-bit console! I can handle it.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Romford! We need more!
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Use your invigorating power thing!
0:26:05 > 0:26:07Well, I suppose that would be
0:26:07 > 0:26:11the high-resolution, high-definition light and laser display.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14No, Romford. Don't listen to her.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16I'll erase them all.
0:26:16 > 0:26:20It'll be just you and me. Hotpants and circuit boards for ever!
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Appealing as that sounds,
0:26:22 > 0:26:25I'll have to go with saving my friends.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27And Aethelwynne.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Ooh! Ooh.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Oh, lumme, that's done it!
0:26:33 > 0:26:36I've seen better light...shoooows...
0:26:36 > 0:26:39No! No!
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Too many functions...to process!
0:26:41 > 0:26:45Romford! Rom-forrrd...
0:26:47 > 0:26:50- Here we go. Oh! - Good one! Let's do it.
0:26:50 > 0:26:54- Ready? Woo!- Thanks, Console.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56This is the Console. You're welcome.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Cheers, love.
0:27:01 > 0:27:02Ow!
0:27:02 > 0:27:06Ooh! Oh, come on, sweetheart. Don't be like that.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Ow!
0:27:08 > 0:27:10How's Rex?
0:27:10 > 0:27:11No change.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27The answer is, uh...
0:27:27 > 0:27:30Sorry, what was the question again?
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Hello?
0:27:44 > 0:27:47Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:47 > 0:27:48This is the Console.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50Please go to the CBBC website
0:27:50 > 0:27:53where the Pixelface games can be played.