School Inspection

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0:00:04 > 0:00:06'This is the story of Roy O'Brien.

0:00:06 > 0:00:09'He lives in an ordinary house on an ordinary street.

0:00:09 > 0:00:13'The only trouble is he doesn't look very ordinary.

0:00:13 > 0:00:15'All Roy really wants is to fit in.

0:00:15 > 0:00:18'But it's very hard to stay out of trouble

0:00:18 > 0:00:20'when you're a cartoon.'

0:00:20 > 0:00:22ROY!

0:00:24 > 0:00:26ROY!

0:00:28 > 0:00:29ROY!

0:00:41 > 0:00:43'Ballyfermot School, Dublin,

0:00:43 > 0:00:47'and the staff and pupils are gearing up for the school inspection

0:00:47 > 0:00:49'on the following Monday.'

0:00:53 > 0:00:56This was the last report,

0:00:56 > 0:00:57four years ago.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02"Minor incidents of truancy.

0:01:02 > 0:01:04"Vandalism and disruptive behaviour.

0:01:04 > 0:01:08"Academic underachievement.

0:01:08 > 0:01:11"General air of muddling along.

0:01:11 > 0:01:13"The verdict on Ballyfermot School once again

0:01:13 > 0:01:17"is a resounding 'Could try harder'."

0:01:19 > 0:01:21Know what that's code for?

0:01:21 > 0:01:23"Sack the headmaster."

0:01:24 > 0:01:28Which is precisely what happened two weeks later.

0:01:29 > 0:01:33Then, yours truly arrives,

0:01:33 > 0:01:36and the results soar.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40Arts and sports flourish...

0:01:40 > 0:01:41COMMOTION OUTSIDE

0:01:42 > 0:01:45..Discipline and respect are restored...

0:01:45 > 0:01:47CLATTERING

0:01:47 > 0:01:49So, I think this time

0:01:49 > 0:01:52- they're going to be in for a very... - NOISE CONTINUES

0:01:52 > 0:01:54- ..pleasant surprise. - BANG

0:01:54 > 0:01:55Excuse me.

0:01:57 > 0:01:59What the...?

0:01:59 > 0:02:01What on earth is going on?

0:02:05 > 0:02:07What the...?

0:02:07 > 0:02:09Kathy pushed the locker on Roy.

0:02:09 > 0:02:12Miss Sherringham told me to clean the top of it.

0:02:12 > 0:02:15- And there was all this fluff...- ROY!

0:02:15 > 0:02:17I'm sorry, sir.

0:02:17 > 0:02:21Pull yourself together! Snap out of it.

0:02:21 > 0:02:22Straighten up...

0:02:22 > 0:02:26- Do something! - I'm trying, I'm trying!

0:02:28 > 0:02:29Thank you.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32Now - back to class, everybody.

0:02:32 > 0:02:33Go on, chop chop! Chop chop.

0:02:37 > 0:02:38MR HAMMOND SIGHS

0:02:38 > 0:02:40Roy O'Brien...

0:02:40 > 0:02:43I have had it up to here.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45No. Here!

0:02:46 > 0:02:48Back to class.

0:02:48 > 0:02:49NOW!

0:02:49 > 0:02:51"Could try harder."

0:02:52 > 0:02:54How I HATE that phrase.

0:02:55 > 0:02:59They used to write that on my school report.

0:02:59 > 0:03:02But er...now I've got my OWN school.

0:03:03 > 0:03:07And now I'm looking for nothing less than outstanding.

0:03:07 > 0:03:11So - fingers crossed, if everything goes smoothly...

0:03:11 > 0:03:13SMOKE ALARM

0:03:19 > 0:03:20What's going on?

0:03:20 > 0:03:22What is going on?!

0:03:22 > 0:03:24Vegetarian madras.

0:03:24 > 0:03:28Sinuses need a good clear-out every now and then, that's what I say.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31I think I...overdid it... on the curry, sir.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33ROY PANTS

0:03:33 > 0:03:35He had five helpings, sir.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38All right, all right. Calm down, everybody. Calm down!

0:03:38 > 0:03:40ROY COUGHS

0:03:40 > 0:03:42Oh... Good.

0:03:42 > 0:03:45Now, can the school get back to business? Mmm?

0:03:45 > 0:03:48Or is there something else you've got in store for us?

0:03:48 > 0:03:50SPRINKLER ALARM

0:03:52 > 0:03:54ROY!

0:03:56 > 0:03:57Of course...

0:03:58 > 0:04:01If Roy wasn't actually HERE on Monday...

0:04:02 > 0:04:03Yeah...

0:04:03 > 0:04:06BELL RINGS

0:04:06 > 0:04:07Ah - Roy...

0:04:07 > 0:04:09Sir, I'm sorry about all the fuss today.

0:04:09 > 0:04:11No, no. No, it's my fault.

0:04:11 > 0:04:12What?

0:04:12 > 0:04:16- We've been working you too hard. You're obviously under stress.- No.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19So, I'm giving you full permission to take the whole of Monday off.

0:04:19 > 0:04:24- But I don't want Monday off.- Good. I'll drop a note to your parents...

0:04:24 > 0:04:26- You what?- I don't want Monday off.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28But...surely you're tired?

0:04:28 > 0:04:30No.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32- Fed up with school?- No.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34But...don't you want a nice long lie-in?

0:04:34 > 0:04:35No. I'm fine, sir.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37Raring to go!

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Jack! Will you wait for me?

0:04:40 > 0:04:42Right! Fine.

0:04:42 > 0:04:43Perfect.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48Oh... That's nice.

0:04:48 > 0:04:49Miss Sherringham.

0:04:52 > 0:04:53Where did that come from?

0:04:53 > 0:04:56Oh... That's Tommy Burns.

0:04:56 > 0:04:59- You mean one of the pupils did it? - Yes.

0:04:59 > 0:05:01A pupil? From our school?!

0:05:01 > 0:05:03Yes!

0:05:03 > 0:05:05Well, what's it doing hiding there?

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Put it on display in the main corridor.

0:05:09 > 0:05:13But it's not ready. I still have to put on a few more moons for Pluto.

0:05:13 > 0:05:15Oh...

0:05:15 > 0:05:16Whatever!

0:05:16 > 0:05:20Everything's in order? Our best classes, best lessons, best pupils.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23Art department, dance group, choir - all in order?

0:05:23 > 0:05:27I think the choir could do with a little bit more rehearsal.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30But Roy O'Brien could go and blow it all for us.

0:05:30 > 0:05:31What are we going to do?

0:05:33 > 0:05:34Unless...

0:05:34 > 0:05:35Unless what?

0:05:35 > 0:05:38I don't quite see what you're hinting at here, Derek.

0:05:38 > 0:05:41..Roy O'Brien was suspended for the day.

0:05:41 > 0:05:43Yes! That's it.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46He's bound to do something before then.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49Mr Hogan...

0:05:49 > 0:05:51We have 24 hours.

0:05:54 > 0:05:55Oh...

0:06:00 > 0:06:03Come on, Roy. Pull the finger out!

0:06:12 > 0:06:14BELL RINGS OK, see you all Monday.

0:06:15 > 0:06:20Oh - the inspector will be coming to our Geography class in the morning

0:06:20 > 0:06:23and our Maths class in the afternoon. So, when I ask questions,

0:06:23 > 0:06:29make sure Tommy, Sinead and Conor get their hands up first.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31- ALL:- Yes, miss.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34This is a complete charade...

0:06:34 > 0:06:37- OK, Roy - that's done it.- What?

0:06:37 > 0:06:39- I've told you before... - Told him what?

0:06:40 > 0:06:43He knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

0:06:43 > 0:06:44Do I?

0:06:44 > 0:06:48- I'm sorry, Roy. But you're suspended.- Suspended?!

0:06:48 > 0:06:49What has he been suspended for?

0:06:49 > 0:06:52- He has been suspended...- Yes.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54- ..On my authority...- Yes.

0:06:55 > 0:06:59..For the flagrant act of...

0:07:00 > 0:07:01He erm...

0:07:02 > 0:07:04He erm...

0:07:05 > 0:07:09He disrupted Science class, by deliberately shocking himself

0:07:09 > 0:07:11with the steady-hand game that the class built.

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Oh, yeah. That was deadly.

0:07:13 > 0:07:16Yeah, you could see his skeleton flashing.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19FIZZLING

0:07:20 > 0:07:23- What?- That was three weeks ago.

0:07:23 > 0:07:24Well, I...

0:07:24 > 0:07:29I...needed time to think about it. I didn't want to rush in.

0:07:29 > 0:07:30Three weeks ago?

0:07:31 > 0:07:33So, Roy...

0:07:33 > 0:07:35You're suspended. As from Monday.

0:07:35 > 0:07:36For one day.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38But...

0:07:38 > 0:07:39No buts!

0:07:39 > 0:07:41SHE SIGHS

0:07:42 > 0:07:43You know, if I was to extend this

0:07:43 > 0:07:46to include our nearest star, Alpha Centauri,

0:07:46 > 0:07:49it would go all the way to the playground.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52And as for Andromeda, our next galaxy...

0:07:52 > 0:07:55you'd be talking as far as the city centre!

0:07:56 > 0:08:00What you're doing to Roy is absolutely outrageous!

0:08:00 > 0:08:02Calm down, Miss Sherringham.

0:08:02 > 0:08:04I think something else is going on here -

0:08:04 > 0:08:06I think you've got a hidden agenda.

0:08:06 > 0:08:10What?! Do I LOOK like I've got a hidden agenda, Miss Sherringham?

0:08:10 > 0:08:12Yes.

0:08:12 > 0:08:13OK! Look...

0:08:13 > 0:08:17I just want to keep Roy away from school inspection on Monday.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19You're ashamed of him - is that it?

0:08:19 > 0:08:21Yes! No. I mean... Look.

0:08:22 > 0:08:26If something happens, Roy gets put on the school report.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29What's that going to do for his confidence? Mm?

0:08:29 > 0:08:32They might even suggest moving him.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34Did you think of that, Miss Sherringham?

0:08:34 > 0:08:38Look...I think it would be best for all, don't you?

0:08:38 > 0:08:39TOMMY SNEEZES

0:08:39 > 0:08:41CRASH

0:08:41 > 0:08:42Tommy?!

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Are you OK?

0:08:44 > 0:08:46Fine... Just fine.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52MR HAMMOND SIGHS WITH RELIEF

0:08:52 > 0:08:57The last thing we need, is another school compensation claim, mm?

0:09:00 > 0:09:02Nice one, Roy.

0:09:02 > 0:09:03What's Mam going to say?

0:09:03 > 0:09:05Why does SHE need to know?

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Well, what about the letter?

0:09:07 > 0:09:10Don't show her. They never check.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12So? What happens on Monday?

0:09:12 > 0:09:14Just say you're sick.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17But...what if I'm not sick?

0:09:18 > 0:09:19SHE SIGHS

0:09:19 > 0:09:20What?!

0:09:20 > 0:09:22HE SLURPS

0:09:22 > 0:09:25Now listen, Roy. I'm finishing work early on Monday

0:09:25 > 0:09:27so I'll pick you up from school. All right?

0:09:27 > 0:09:30Er, it's OK. You don't have to.

0:09:30 > 0:09:31But I want to.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Really?

0:09:33 > 0:09:34Yes! Really.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37I have an airport job, then the Castleknock Inn,

0:09:37 > 0:09:40then a hospital job, and then I'm done.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42- But...- Now what?

0:09:42 > 0:09:45Well... I'm going to be sick on Monday.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49Oh. You know in advance, do you, love?

0:09:49 > 0:09:50ROY COUGHS

0:09:50 > 0:09:52Yeah, I think I'm coming down with something.

0:09:52 > 0:09:53HE COUGHS AGAIN

0:09:54 > 0:09:57- BILL TUTS - That's a shame.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00Cos I was going to bring you paintballing that night.

0:10:00 > 0:10:04Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but I reckon I'll be better by er...

0:10:04 > 0:10:07half four, quarter past, maybe, you know.

0:10:10 > 0:10:11Roy...

0:10:11 > 0:10:14Why don't you want to go to school on Monday?

0:10:14 > 0:10:16Erm...

0:10:24 > 0:10:27- The shame.- It's for nothing.

0:10:27 > 0:10:30And why did it take Mr Hammond three weeks to do anything?

0:10:30 > 0:10:32I don't know, but it's very embarrassing.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35Three weeks! It's like those traffic cameras -

0:10:35 > 0:10:39"This is a photograph of you picking your nose in a bus lane last July."

0:10:39 > 0:10:44Nothing like that's ever happened to anybody in our family, ever.

0:10:46 > 0:10:49- Oh, Bill... - It was the last week of term.

0:10:49 > 0:10:50- SHE SIGHS - I knew it.

0:10:50 > 0:10:54See, what we used to do was put a bit of grease on the door handle.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56HE CRACKS UP

0:10:56 > 0:10:58- That's not funny.- No. I know that.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00That's SO not funny.

0:11:01 > 0:11:04Now, stink bombs in the staff room... That's a classic.

0:11:05 > 0:11:09- It's not funny at all, is it? - No, it's terrible. It's awful.

0:11:09 > 0:11:12It's so unfair. I mean, it was an accident,

0:11:12 > 0:11:13and it was ages ago.

0:11:13 > 0:11:17Look - I'm not sure if I should be telling you this,

0:11:17 > 0:11:20but Mr Hammond's not really suspending you.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22What?

0:11:22 > 0:11:24Flip, that should have been the Gazette, Roy!

0:11:24 > 0:11:27Oh - no problem. I'll get it for you.

0:11:29 > 0:11:30DOG GROWLS AND BARKS

0:11:33 > 0:11:35- Thanks.- No problem.

0:11:35 > 0:11:36So?

0:11:36 > 0:11:40He just wants to keep you away on Monday because of the inspection.

0:11:40 > 0:11:41Why?

0:11:41 > 0:11:44Well...he thinks you're going to let the school down.

0:11:44 > 0:11:47What - like...he's ashamed of me?

0:11:47 > 0:11:50Well...no, he didn't say that.

0:11:50 > 0:11:51Actually...

0:11:51 > 0:11:54Come to think of it, he DID.

0:12:00 > 0:12:01'The big day has arrived,

0:12:01 > 0:12:05'and Mr Hammond is going through his final check list with the staff.'

0:12:05 > 0:12:09- You got rid of that smell on the second-floor landing?- Check.

0:12:09 > 0:12:13- Mr Hogan, Miss Sherringham - your classes all know their cues?- Check.

0:12:14 > 0:12:17Nora - lunch, quarter to one. On the dot.

0:12:17 > 0:12:19Ooh. And I did an internet search on him,

0:12:19 > 0:12:22and apparently he's very partial to Japanese food.

0:12:22 > 0:12:26I'm doing my line-caught North Pacific fish and potato tempura.

0:12:26 > 0:12:27Oh!

0:12:27 > 0:12:29Otherwise known as cod and chips.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31Any more questions?

0:12:31 > 0:12:33I think Roy should be allowed...

0:12:33 > 0:12:34Excellent.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37Good luck, everyone.

0:12:39 > 0:12:43'It's Monday morning, and Roy is not enjoying his day of suspension.'

0:12:50 > 0:12:53"Ballyfermot School, Ballyfermot, southwest Dublin.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55"Size, 225 pupils.

0:12:55 > 0:12:58"Head Teacher, Mr D Hammond."

0:12:59 > 0:13:03You know - schools make such a fuss about inspections.

0:13:03 > 0:13:05Put on such a show, create such a hullabaloo,

0:13:05 > 0:13:08when all you want is for them to relax and be themselves.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10Oh!

0:13:12 > 0:13:13Mr Preeny!

0:13:13 > 0:13:16- Let me take your coat, Mr Preeny. - Great.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23- Welcome to Ballyfermot School. - Thank you.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26Oh...

0:13:26 > 0:13:27IRISH DANCE MUSIC

0:13:28 > 0:13:31Ah... Very nice. Yes.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35Right.

0:13:37 > 0:13:40Now... We're not just exam fodder here.

0:13:42 > 0:13:46Art and extracurricular activity is encouraged here,

0:13:46 > 0:13:48right from the day when they arrive

0:13:48 > 0:13:52right up to the day - the oh, so emotional day - when they leave us.

0:13:52 > 0:13:55SINGING Is that your choir? Could I...

0:13:55 > 0:13:58No, no, I'd rather you didn't. Er...

0:13:58 > 0:14:00They're...rehearsing.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03They get very touchy

0:14:03 > 0:14:05if they're not absolutely erm...

0:14:05 > 0:14:06note-perfect.

0:14:06 > 0:14:08They sound OK to me.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10# All things bright and beautiful...

0:14:10 > 0:14:13Let me show you Miss Sherringham's class.

0:14:13 > 0:14:16Miss Sherringham is one of our top teachers.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19'Bored of being stuck at home,

0:14:19 > 0:14:22'Roy has ventured down to the local shopping centre.'

0:14:28 > 0:14:31So, they don't want me around. Do I care?

0:14:31 > 0:14:33Hey. Aren't you Roy?

0:14:33 > 0:14:35We've heard about you.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37Aren't you at Ballyfermot?

0:14:37 > 0:14:39Well, I was. But then I got suspended.

0:14:39 > 0:14:42I'm Dec. This is Heno.

0:14:42 > 0:14:43We were suspended too.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45We're from Crumlin School.

0:14:45 > 0:14:48It was totally out of order. I didn't do anything.

0:14:48 > 0:14:49Tell me about it.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51Schools don't know what to do with us.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54Ah, sure, we're better off without them.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57- All right, Bugsy? - All right, lads.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59I got the stuff, so let's get going.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01See you around, Roy.

0:15:01 > 0:15:02You're going?

0:15:02 > 0:15:06Well, yeah. Unless you want to hang around with us.

0:15:06 > 0:15:11The destruction of the rainforest, release of CFCs into the atmosphere,

0:15:11 > 0:15:14- and over reliance on fossil fuels. - Well done, Tommy.

0:15:15 > 0:15:17Actually, while we're on the subject,

0:15:17 > 0:15:20does anyone have any solutions

0:15:20 > 0:15:22to global warming?

0:15:23 > 0:15:25Erm...

0:15:25 > 0:15:28Sinead - OK. You got in first.

0:15:28 > 0:15:31Well...like, this is just from the top of my head...

0:15:31 > 0:15:33That's fine.

0:15:33 > 0:15:36As individuals, we should recycle waste,

0:15:36 > 0:15:37take less trips abroad,

0:15:37 > 0:15:41and install low-energy light bulbs.

0:15:41 > 0:15:45And as nations, we should all sign up to the carbon reduction targets

0:15:45 > 0:15:50as laid down by the Kyoto Protocol of the 11th of January, 1997.

0:16:07 > 0:16:08We're all clear, fellas.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10Well done, Roy.

0:16:10 > 0:16:13Are you sure we have permission to be doing this?

0:16:13 > 0:16:16- HE LAUGHS - Permission(?)

0:16:16 > 0:16:19Did it ever occur to you why you're the lookout, Roy?

0:16:20 > 0:16:22Well, I just think that...

0:16:22 > 0:16:25Will you just leave the thinking to us? And don't be such a square.

0:16:25 > 0:16:29- And keep those peepers peeled, all right?- Fine.

0:16:29 > 0:16:33- Looks like we found a right one, lads.- Aw, this is rubbish!

0:16:33 > 0:16:35Now what's up, Bugsy?

0:16:35 > 0:16:37I'm always doing the same things.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39I need to move on.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42- Well, let's go to the leisure centre. - No... No.

0:16:42 > 0:16:46He means "move on" as in "progress". Artistically.

0:16:46 > 0:16:48Oh, yeah!

0:16:48 > 0:16:51We need a new image, you know? A new face.

0:16:51 > 0:16:52Cheer up, Bugsy.

0:16:54 > 0:16:55Bugsy...?

0:16:55 > 0:16:57Bugsy!

0:16:57 > 0:17:01I noted that Ballyfermot has a track record for inclusive intake -

0:17:01 > 0:17:04pupils from a broad range of cultural and ethnic backgrounds...

0:17:04 > 0:17:08You should have seen our Chinese New Year school dragon.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10We had all Mrs Clarke's class squeezed in...

0:17:10 > 0:17:13- Can you let me finish? Please. - Sorry. Sorry.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16As well as pupils with special needs and disabilities,

0:17:16 > 0:17:19and also, I gather, a cartoon pupil.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22Erm... Indeed. Indeed.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24So, where is he?

0:17:24 > 0:17:27Erm... Roy O'Brien? He's...sick.

0:17:27 > 0:17:30Pity. He so wanted to come here today.

0:17:30 > 0:17:31Sick?

0:17:31 > 0:17:32Yes. He...

0:17:32 > 0:17:35gets sometimes a sort of erm...

0:17:35 > 0:17:37cartoon flu.

0:17:37 > 0:17:38Cartoon flu.

0:17:38 > 0:17:41Yes. He...sometimes gets a bit run-down.

0:17:41 > 0:17:44His lines go sort of...blurry.

0:17:45 > 0:17:47Not much fun, I gather.

0:17:47 > 0:17:50Well, that is a disappointment.

0:17:50 > 0:17:51- Is it?- Yes.

0:17:52 > 0:17:56Schools that help pupils with special needs and conditions

0:17:56 > 0:17:58get a value-added grading.

0:17:58 > 0:18:00Do they?

0:18:00 > 0:18:01But as he's not here,

0:18:01 > 0:18:05we're not really in a position to be able to assess this.

0:18:05 > 0:18:06Oh.

0:18:06 > 0:18:07Erm...

0:18:07 > 0:18:11- Mr Hammond...- Miss Sherringham! Get Roy O'Brien back to school.

0:18:11 > 0:18:13- What?- Now!

0:18:13 > 0:18:15First we send him home, now we...

0:18:15 > 0:18:19Miss Sherringham, do you want us all to be here next year? Just do it!

0:18:20 > 0:18:21Mr Preeny...

0:18:22 > 0:18:24He's not at home?

0:18:24 > 0:18:26Not at home, or at his grandparents',

0:18:26 > 0:18:28or at the neighbours'...

0:18:28 > 0:18:29MOBILE RINGS

0:18:30 > 0:18:31Hey, it's him.

0:18:32 > 0:18:33Roy, where are you?

0:18:33 > 0:18:35Hey, Jack.

0:18:38 > 0:18:43Yeah, I'm hanging out with my new mates. We're doing some cool stuff.

0:18:43 > 0:18:44Isn't that right?

0:18:44 > 0:18:46ALL: Yeah!

0:18:49 > 0:18:51School? Who needs school?

0:18:51 > 0:18:53School's for losers.

0:18:53 > 0:18:55Isn't that right?

0:18:55 > 0:18:57ALL: Yeah!

0:18:57 > 0:18:58ALARM SOUNDS

0:18:58 > 0:19:01- TANNOY: Would Security please go... - Lads! Scatter, now!

0:19:02 > 0:19:05Hey, fellas! Where are you going?

0:19:05 > 0:19:06You forgot your bag!

0:19:06 > 0:19:10TANNOY: Security, please go immediately to the service bay.

0:19:10 > 0:19:11Fellas!

0:19:11 > 0:19:13Roy...

0:19:13 > 0:19:15I think he's at the shopping centre.

0:19:15 > 0:19:17Come on, let's go!

0:19:20 > 0:19:23CHILDREN: Roy... Roy!

0:19:27 > 0:19:29Roy! Roy...

0:19:30 > 0:19:32Have you seen a boy...

0:19:32 > 0:19:33Roy, where are you?

0:19:36 > 0:19:37Roy!

0:19:37 > 0:19:38Roy, are you under there?

0:19:42 > 0:19:43COUGHING

0:19:43 > 0:19:45Roy?

0:19:46 > 0:19:48We know you're in there.

0:19:49 > 0:19:54Hammond wants you back in school. You're not suspended any more.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56What...?

0:19:56 > 0:19:58- Oh, what's that? - It's only chicken curry.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01And actually I like the smell of it.

0:20:02 > 0:20:04OI! What are you doing back there?!

0:20:04 > 0:20:06Quickly...

0:20:06 > 0:20:07Come on! Give me the bag.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09I'll tell you later.

0:20:09 > 0:20:10Come back here!

0:20:11 > 0:20:13'Roy is finally back in the school fold,

0:20:13 > 0:20:17'and the inspector is now observing how Miss Sherringham's class

0:20:17 > 0:20:19'perform at Maths.'

0:20:19 > 0:20:21OK. Let's begin.

0:20:22 > 0:20:2420 over 2.

0:20:25 > 0:20:26- Tommy. - 78%.

0:20:26 > 0:20:27Correct.

0:20:29 > 0:20:3116 over 3.

0:20:31 > 0:20:32Sinead.

0:20:32 > 0:20:345.3, miss.

0:20:34 > 0:20:365.3 recurring,

0:20:36 > 0:20:38strictly.

0:20:39 > 0:20:40What's next in this sequence?

0:20:40 > 0:20:437, 14,

0:20:43 > 0:20:4421...

0:20:45 > 0:20:49- Tommy.- Excuse me. We seem to be asking the same pupils all the time.

0:20:49 > 0:20:51Really?

0:20:51 > 0:20:54How about giving Roy O'Brien a go, as he wasn't here this morning?

0:20:54 > 0:20:56ROY GULPS

0:20:56 > 0:20:57Erm...

0:20:58 > 0:21:00OK.

0:21:00 > 0:21:01Roy...

0:21:02 > 0:21:05..what is 6 squared?

0:21:05 > 0:21:0736.

0:21:07 > 0:21:09Yes. 75% of 120.

0:21:09 > 0:21:1190.

0:21:12 > 0:21:13Excellent, Roy!

0:21:13 > 0:21:153.14159.

0:21:16 > 0:21:18What is the value of pi?

0:21:19 > 0:21:20How do you do that?

0:21:25 > 0:21:26What's going on?

0:21:27 > 0:21:31Hello! I think you have the wrong day.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33Police Liaison Day is next month.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35- Are you the Head Teacher? - Hammond. Derek Hammond.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37Pleased to meet you.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40We've been informed that a group of kids, pupils from your school,

0:21:40 > 0:21:44were seen running loose unsupervised during school hours

0:21:44 > 0:21:46- in the shopping centre.- What?!

0:21:46 > 0:21:51More seriously, there have been several incidents of major graffiti

0:21:51 > 0:21:54and criminal damage across the town centre this lunchtime.

0:21:54 > 0:21:58- What's that got to do with us? - We've had a very strong tip-off

0:21:58 > 0:22:02that the suspect is a student from this school.

0:22:02 > 0:22:03May I?

0:22:09 > 0:22:11Class... Don't worry.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14The police just want to ask us a few questions.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17But I know this is nothing to do with us.

0:22:17 > 0:22:19- JACK:- What happened, miss?

0:22:19 > 0:22:22There's been some graffiti in the town, and...

0:22:22 > 0:22:23The shopping centre.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25The bus station.

0:22:27 > 0:22:28The leisure centre.

0:22:28 > 0:22:30We have reason to believe

0:22:30 > 0:22:34the suspect...is a pupil from Ballyfermot School.

0:22:34 > 0:22:37Well, that's where I think you're out of line.

0:22:37 > 0:22:41- I know my class, and not one of them would EVER...- Roy.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43It wasn't me. Honest.

0:22:44 > 0:22:46Is this your bag, son?

0:22:47 > 0:22:49You don't mind if I just...

0:22:49 > 0:22:51Well, actually...

0:22:51 > 0:22:52..have a little peep...

0:22:53 > 0:22:54See what's inside?

0:22:57 > 0:22:59But it's not mine... It's the...

0:23:03 > 0:23:04ALL GASP

0:23:08 > 0:23:10Right!

0:23:10 > 0:23:15Let's...go and look at our Interpretative Dance class.

0:23:15 > 0:23:16Mr Preeny.

0:23:22 > 0:23:23Mr Hammond.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28It's lucky he's only 11.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31Otherwise we'd be down the station and throwing the book at him.

0:23:31 > 0:23:32Well...

0:23:32 > 0:23:34Mr Hammond.

0:23:35 > 0:23:36But it wasn't me, sir.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38He was caught red-handed.

0:23:38 > 0:23:40I think you should hear Roy out.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42Sir, I was just a lookout.

0:23:42 > 0:23:45It was these other kids from Crumlin.

0:23:45 > 0:23:47Yes, yes, we've heard all that before.

0:23:47 > 0:23:49- But I think...- Shame on you, Roy.

0:23:49 > 0:23:51Mr Hammond...

0:23:51 > 0:23:53are you going to get a grip on your school,

0:23:53 > 0:23:56or are we going to have to do it for you?

0:23:58 > 0:24:00What's going to happen to him, miss?

0:24:00 > 0:24:02He's not going to be kicked out, is he?

0:24:02 > 0:24:04I know Roy didn't do this.

0:24:04 > 0:24:07Miss, I think you'd better take a look at this.

0:24:11 > 0:24:13This is most unfortunate.

0:24:13 > 0:24:16However, it does give you an example of how we handle

0:24:16 > 0:24:20such very rare discipline problems here at the school.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22Firm...but always fair.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25Now, while I deal with Roy,

0:24:25 > 0:24:30why don't you go along and I'll meet you in the erm...gymnasium?

0:24:32 > 0:24:33Get in!

0:24:35 > 0:24:38On this very important day,

0:24:38 > 0:24:40you let the school down.

0:24:40 > 0:24:41You let me down.

0:24:41 > 0:24:43But most important of all,

0:24:43 > 0:24:45you let YOURSELF down.

0:24:45 > 0:24:47I'm sorry, sir, but I swear, I...

0:24:47 > 0:24:48And to compound it all,

0:24:48 > 0:24:52you tried to pretend it was done by boys from another school.

0:24:52 > 0:24:53KNOCK AT DOOR

0:24:53 > 0:24:55We've been patient, Roy.

0:24:55 > 0:24:58- Given you the benefit of the doubt. - KNOCK AT DOOR

0:24:58 > 0:25:00We've bent over backwards to accept you.

0:25:00 > 0:25:01KNOCK AT DOOR

0:25:01 > 0:25:05But I'm afraid this time we've reached the end of the line.

0:25:05 > 0:25:07DOOR OPENS

0:25:07 > 0:25:10- Oh, for crying out loud... - Miss Sherringham, please!

0:25:11 > 0:25:14Isn't this Crumlin's school crest?

0:25:16 > 0:25:17Ah...

0:25:18 > 0:25:19MR HAMMOND SIGHS

0:25:21 > 0:25:22Yes!

0:25:22 > 0:25:27CHOIR: # All things bright and beautiful

0:25:27 > 0:25:31# All c-c-c-c-creatures great and small

0:25:32 > 0:25:36# All things w-w-wise and wonderful RECORDING SKIPS

0:25:37 > 0:25:41# The Lord God made them all. #

0:25:44 > 0:25:46Well...

0:25:46 > 0:25:50Seems your little Crumlin friends were clever, but not that clever.

0:25:50 > 0:25:54They were caught on camera at the shopping precinct.

0:25:54 > 0:25:55I...

0:25:55 > 0:25:59should never have kept you away from school after all, Roy.

0:25:59 > 0:26:03I erm...suppose I er...

0:26:03 > 0:26:05owe you an apology.

0:26:08 > 0:26:10- Sorry.- What was that?

0:26:10 > 0:26:12What did you say? I couldn't hear you.

0:26:12 > 0:26:15Huh? What did you say, sir?

0:26:15 > 0:26:17I said "Sorry"! OK?

0:26:18 > 0:26:21So...how come the police thought it was me?

0:26:38 > 0:26:41"So... once we got past the silly charade,

0:26:41 > 0:26:45"it was clear the pupils were of mixed ability, good-spirited,

0:26:45 > 0:26:49"and along with their teachers, who are obviously committed and caring,

0:26:50 > 0:26:55"demonstrate a striking loyalty and supportiveness to each other.

0:26:56 > 0:27:01"Unlike their Head Teacher...

0:27:01 > 0:27:07"whose pompous, overbearing and self-serving presence

0:27:07 > 0:27:10"is the major obstacle to the school's progress."

0:27:11 > 0:27:14I can't put that in. HE SCORES IT OUT

0:27:14 > 0:27:15Better play safe.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17"Unlike the Head Teacher...

0:27:20 > 0:27:25"..who could try...

0:27:25 > 0:27:26"harder."

0:27:26 > 0:27:27HE CHUCKLES

0:27:54 > 0:27:56Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:56 > 0:27:58E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk