0:00:04 > 0:00:06'This is the story of Roy O'Brien.
0:00:06 > 0:00:09'He lives in an ordinary house on an ordinary street.
0:00:09 > 0:00:13'The only trouble is he doesn't look very ordinary.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16'All Roy really wants is to fit in.
0:00:16 > 0:00:20'But it's very hard to stay out of trouble when you're a cartoon.'
0:00:20 > 0:00:22Roy!
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Roy!
0:00:28 > 0:00:29Roy!
0:00:35 > 0:00:37ROY!
0:00:43 > 0:00:46'It's three days to go until Roy's birthday,
0:00:46 > 0:00:49'and there's an air of excitement in the O'Brien household.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52'Bill and Maura are making an early start.'
0:00:52 > 0:00:54- Hello, Tommy.- Hello, Mr O'Brien.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Roy, Tommy's here, don't be late, OK?
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- Tommy, will you remind Roy to close the door?- Yes, Mrs O'Brien.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03- Good man. See you!- Bye.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Tommy, get up here, I'm in my mum and dad's bedroom.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Where are you?!
0:01:09 > 0:01:10Quick, Tommy, help me out here.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13- We're gonna be late.- What kind of wrapping paper is it in?
0:01:13 > 0:01:17That's stuff there. When we find it, we'll open it,
0:01:17 > 0:01:21take it out, and wrap it up again. She'll never notice.
0:01:22 > 0:01:23This it?
0:01:23 > 0:01:25You little beauty!
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Throw it here.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29I just couldn't wait any longer.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32What happens when they give it to you on your birthday,
0:01:32 > 0:01:34- and there's nothing in there?- Duh!
0:01:34 > 0:01:36We put it back in the night before.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38We get a couple of extra days gaming done,
0:01:38 > 0:01:40and no-one's the wiser. OK?
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Jack, look at me new console!
0:01:51 > 0:01:53I'll be able to link up with yous now.
0:01:53 > 0:01:54Cool.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00- Got you, Jack!- That's not fair, Tommy, I'm on your side!
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Look! Hammond on his way into school!
0:02:03 > 0:02:04Watch out!
0:02:04 > 0:02:05Get down, Roy!
0:02:09 > 0:02:13- We said look out. - That's happened to me twice before!
0:02:13 > 0:02:15I swear he did it on purpose.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17My console!
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- Did it get wet?- Please be OK!
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Come on, please be OK!
0:02:22 > 0:02:25Here, let me have a look at it for you, Roy.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28It's OK, it's not damaged. Phew.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31- It's still working. - Roy, you're filthy.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34- You gotta get yourself cleaned up. - Oh, so I am.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38I'll have to pop back home and get cleaned up.
0:02:38 > 0:02:39I'll see you in a bit.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44ROY WHISTLES
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Give me some privacy!
0:02:51 > 0:02:53I'm gonna be late!
0:02:58 > 0:03:00BELL RINGS
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Looks like Hammond gave you a right going-over earlier.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Yeah! Cheek of him!
0:03:09 > 0:03:12I was just walking down the street like any REAL person.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15- Who's up for another game, then? - Yeah.
0:03:15 > 0:03:16Here. Who am I?
0:03:16 > 0:03:19- AS HAMMOND: - "School is a place for education."
0:03:19 > 0:03:21ROY IMITATES HAMMOND SNORTING
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Do you give up?
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Right, here's another one.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27- AS HAMMOND:- "I know all.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30"I see all.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33"My breath smells like a dog's bottom,
0:03:33 > 0:03:35"and my car is a rusty banger."
0:03:35 > 0:03:38ROY IMITATES HAMMOND SNORTING
0:03:38 > 0:03:39ROY GIGGLES
0:03:42 > 0:03:44He's behind me, isn't he?
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Course you expect the students to have a go at you.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57I'm the authority figure. Goes with the territory.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59HE CHUCKLES AND SNORTS
0:03:59 > 0:04:02But if you let that sort of thing get to you,
0:04:02 > 0:04:04you shouldn't be in the job.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06HE SIGHS
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Shame about all the paperwork, though.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Any of you lot seen my stapler around here?
0:04:19 > 0:04:20- Yes.- Come on!
0:04:20 > 0:04:22ALL SHOUT AT ONCE
0:04:22 > 0:04:23- Roy, stop cheating.- Arrgh!
0:04:23 > 0:04:25- BELL RINGS - Yeah, yeah!
0:04:25 > 0:04:27- Oh.- Yes!
0:04:27 > 0:04:30- Let's do this! Oh, yes! - You coming, Roy?
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Earth to Roy.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35- Coming, Roy?- No, I'm grand.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39- We're off, anyway.- ..Yes!
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Oooh, that's not fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah!
0:04:42 > 0:04:45No, no, no, no, turn, turn, turn, turn!
0:04:45 > 0:04:46Yes!
0:04:46 > 0:04:47Oh, no, no, no.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49That's not fair.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54I'm so sorry, sir.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Pick up those papers.
0:05:00 > 0:05:01I'm sorry, sir.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Just watch where you're going!
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Give it to me.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Roy.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21O'Brien!
0:05:21 > 0:05:24I was just waiting for it to save.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Can I go with you guys?
0:05:31 > 0:05:32BOTH: Mmm.
0:05:36 > 0:05:37Can I have a go after yous?
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Tommy, can I have a go after you?
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Well, after you've finished this level.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45What happened to yours, Roy?
0:05:45 > 0:05:48I saw you with one at break time this morning.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Hammond had it off me.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52I crashed into him in the corridor.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Can I have a go of yours, Jack?
0:05:54 > 0:05:56- Ask Tommy.- Tommy?
0:05:56 > 0:05:58I'm in the middle of a game, Roy.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Oh, go on, Tom, don't be a scab.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02I won't get mine back till home time.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05Actually, Roy, I hate to tell you this,
0:06:05 > 0:06:07but you won't be seeing yours for a week.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09A week?!
0:06:09 > 0:06:12He took my phone. Apparently, that's the regulations.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13ROY PANTS
0:06:13 > 0:06:15- Roy? You all right?- A week?!
0:06:15 > 0:06:19My mum will hit the roof! I'll be grounded for a year,
0:06:19 > 0:06:21and I may as well forget about me birthday.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24And it wasn't even my fault!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26All right, class, back to your seats.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30Right. Now we're going to have our nature class,
0:06:30 > 0:06:34so I hope everybody brought in their leaves that I asked them to bring in.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36OK, take them out of your bags,
0:06:36 > 0:06:40and take out your markers and your pencils and your crayons as well, OK?
0:06:40 > 0:06:42BELL RINGS
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Well, there's only one thing for it, guys.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48I'll have to get my console back from Hammond.
0:06:48 > 0:06:49Cool.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Story, lads, what's going on?
0:06:52 > 0:06:57Well, Roy sent Hammond flying in the corridor this morning
0:06:57 > 0:07:00so Hammond confiscated Roy's computer game,
0:07:00 > 0:07:03and now Roy says he's going to get it back off him.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06What?! How on earth do you do that one, then, Einstein?
0:07:06 > 0:07:10Break into the staff room and get it yourself?
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Last time I checked,
0:07:13 > 0:07:16you're more of a clumsy freak rather than a secret agent.
0:07:16 > 0:07:17- What?- All I'm saying is
0:07:17 > 0:07:22that our boy Roy here is all talk and no trousers.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25Actually, I don't wear trousers.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28I rest my case.
0:07:28 > 0:07:29All right, then! I will!
0:07:29 > 0:07:32I will go in. I will get it back off him.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Then you'll be laughing on the other side of your smug face.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39Yeah. Good one, Roy. In your dreams. I'll believe that when I see it.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42OK, then. I'll film it. As proof.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46And when I get back, with the evidence, then we'll see.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Then we'll see who has got trousers!
0:07:48 > 0:07:52- Tommy, you've got a camera in your locker.- Yeah...I do.
0:07:52 > 0:07:57But, Roy, you've overlooked one fatal flaw in your plan.
0:07:57 > 0:07:58What?!
0:07:58 > 0:08:00I think Miss Sheringham is gonna realise
0:08:00 > 0:08:04that the only cartoon boy in the world is missing from class.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Hold on. I've got an idea.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09BELL RINGS
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Roy, why have you changed seats?
0:08:14 > 0:08:17Erm...Roy forgot his Geography book, Miss,
0:08:17 > 0:08:20- so we're sharing.- Right.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24Well, no messing. Open your books at chapter four.
0:08:26 > 0:08:27OK.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31Can anybody tell me what the longest river in Ireland is?
0:08:31 > 0:08:35Anybody? Roy.
0:08:37 > 0:08:38Roy!
0:08:41 > 0:08:42Anybody else?
0:08:44 > 0:08:45Conor?
0:08:47 > 0:08:48- The Shannon?- Yes.
0:08:52 > 0:08:53This is Roy O'Brien,
0:08:53 > 0:08:57boldly going where no other pupil has ever gone before.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59You'll eat your words, Kathy Cunningham,
0:08:59 > 0:09:02and I'll get my console back.
0:09:02 > 0:09:06Wow! I can't believe it! It's not locked.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Look at all those comfy chairs.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Mmm. This is really fancy.
0:09:11 > 0:09:15Oh, man, they have their own fridge!
0:09:17 > 0:09:18"Property of Derek..."
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Flippin' heck, this is Hammond's sandwich.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Mmm, egg mayonnaise.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34My second favourite.
0:09:34 > 0:09:35Come to Daddy.
0:09:45 > 0:09:46(Conor.)
0:09:46 > 0:09:48(Conor.)
0:09:49 > 0:09:50Miss Sheringham?
0:09:50 > 0:09:52- Yes?- Can I go to the toilet, please?
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Yes, of course.
0:09:58 > 0:09:59Conor.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02- What's wrong?- Nothing. Nothing.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16Roy O'Brien here. I've penetrated the enemy's lair.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18I've eaten their food,
0:10:18 > 0:10:21and now it's time to apply myself to the task at hand.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Operation...hmm....
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Get Roy's Console Back.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Nothing there.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41BELL RINGS
0:10:41 > 0:10:43All right, class, wrap it up for today.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48CONOR MOUTHS
0:10:50 > 0:10:52THEY MOUTH
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Can I help you guys with anything?
0:10:58 > 0:11:02Well, in that case, I suggest you all get along to your next class.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06Lads.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Whatever it is you're up to,
0:11:08 > 0:11:11I'm really not in the mood for it right now.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Roy. Are you OK?
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Ow! Miss! Miss!
0:11:19 > 0:11:20Tommy, what happened?
0:11:20 > 0:11:23- Sinead hit me.- Sinead!
0:11:23 > 0:11:26- No...I don't think I did.- Ow!
0:11:26 > 0:11:30Here, let me take your books.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32I'm fine now.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43This is getting ridiculous. How long can we keep this up for?
0:11:43 > 0:11:47- Relax, relax, Tommy. This is fun, man.- Fun?!
0:11:47 > 0:11:50I've already had to pretend I've nearly been beaten up by a girl.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53GIRLS GIGGLE
0:11:53 > 0:11:54Well, Roy better get a move on.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57Cos we're gonna get totally busted here!
0:11:57 > 0:11:59WHISTLE BLOWS
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Right, pipe down, everyone.
0:12:01 > 0:12:05I'm standing in for Miss Riley while she's off sick.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07CHILDREN GROAN
0:12:07 > 0:12:09I will, however, be popping in and out
0:12:09 > 0:12:13to keep an eye on you all while you work. Right? So no funny business.
0:12:16 > 0:12:17It says here that today
0:12:17 > 0:12:20you're supposed to be doing a bit of life drawing.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Hands up, does anyone know what that is?
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Does that mean we have to draw someone in the nude?
0:12:26 > 0:12:28CHILDREN GIGGLE
0:12:28 > 0:12:33No, Conor. Very funny. You can keep your clothes on.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36But we will need someone who will be able to stand very still
0:12:36 > 0:12:38for the next half hour.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Good man, Roy.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44I'll pop in every ten minutes or so. They'll be fine.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48I mean, how much damage can a classroom full of 11-year-olds
0:12:48 > 0:12:49do with a bit of paint?
0:12:49 > 0:12:51You'd be surprised.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54You two haven't seen my sandwich anywhere, have you?
0:12:54 > 0:12:59It was in my lunchbox this morning when I left it here.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01I dunno. What did it look like?
0:13:01 > 0:13:03HAMMOND SIGHS
0:13:03 > 0:13:04It, er...
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Well...
0:13:08 > 0:13:11It looked like a sandwich, I suppose.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Egg mayonnaise, if you want me to be specific.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Are you trying to suggest that one of us took it?
0:13:17 > 0:13:19No. No. Of course not.
0:13:19 > 0:13:20How would I stay in shape
0:13:20 > 0:13:24eating food like your egg mayonnaise sandwiches all day?
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Well, it never did me any harm.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28Are you sure about that now?
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Go on out of that.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35I'll have you know I've never been in better shape.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37You're at a dangerous age.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40For a start, you want to tighten that up a bit
0:13:40 > 0:13:42with a few sit-ups every day.
0:13:42 > 0:13:43Do you do much working out at all?
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Ha!
0:13:47 > 0:13:48You know yourself,
0:13:48 > 0:13:51running this madhouse is a full-time job.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54CHILDREN SHOUTING >
0:13:58 > 0:14:00That'll be my lot, then. I'll be back in a sec.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08CHILDREN SHOUT AND TALK
0:14:08 > 0:14:11CLAMOUR STOPS
0:14:11 > 0:14:15Keep the noise down now, or I'll be handing out detentions.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18If I have to come back again...
0:14:21 > 0:14:22Right, so.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29What do you think for football?
0:14:29 > 0:14:31- Cool.- Great.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37- What's going on here?- Oh!
0:14:37 > 0:14:41I'm just showing Dymphna here that I'm in the prime of my life. Urgh!
0:14:42 > 0:14:44HAMMOND PANTS
0:14:44 > 0:14:47You know, I had my suspicions
0:14:47 > 0:14:50that a certain caretaker is behind all this.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Keep those elbows tucked in, Derek.
0:14:53 > 0:14:54Behind what?
0:14:54 > 0:14:56My missing sandwich!
0:14:56 > 0:14:59And my missing stapler, too, for that matter.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02What? Gwint? I doubt he's behind anything like this.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Ha, you may say all that, but...
0:15:05 > 0:15:08HAMMOND PANTS AND GROANS
0:15:08 > 0:15:11..every time he comes into my office, something goes missing.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15- And it mysteriously turns up... - HAMMOND GRUNTS
0:15:15 > 0:15:18- ..a few weeks later.- Keep going, Derek. How many is that?
0:15:18 > 0:15:2149...50!
0:15:21 > 0:15:22Oh, yeah.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23Oh.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26HAMMOND PANTS
0:15:26 > 0:15:29That's right, you're doing fine.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30Keep it going.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36I mean... I know it's not exactly stealing,
0:15:36 > 0:15:41but, ha! I think Gwint's doing it deliberately to wind me up.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43HE LAUGHS AND SNORTS
0:15:43 > 0:15:46He knows I like everything in its proper place.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49I mean, I can't have members of staff
0:15:49 > 0:15:53taking the mickey out of me whenever they feel like it, can I?
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Hmm?
0:15:54 > 0:15:56HE PANTS
0:15:56 > 0:15:59How can I? Huh?
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Where...? Where have they gone?
0:16:08 > 0:16:10BELL RINGS
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Right, so everyone off to their next class.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15I'll see the guys in the gym in 20 minutes.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18JACK MOUTHS
0:16:19 > 0:16:21TOMMY MOUTHS
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Er, sir, can we have a quick word?
0:16:24 > 0:16:28The art teacher likes to discuss the modernist movement.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32especially the work of Picasso and cubism. What are your views?
0:16:37 > 0:16:38Er...
0:16:53 > 0:16:56O'Brien! Why are you loitering in the hall?
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Isn't there some other place you should be?
0:17:01 > 0:17:05O'Brien, I've had just about as much as I can take of you today.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09If I have to come over to you...
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Right, that's it, O'Brien.
0:17:15 > 0:17:16What the...?
0:17:18 > 0:17:20What's this then, lads?
0:17:20 > 0:17:21It's an art project, sir.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Yeah. Live drawing, sir.
0:17:23 > 0:17:24Good, isn't he?
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Looks nothing like him.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30HAMMOND SNORTS
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Wait a second, lads.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36BOTH: Yes, sir?
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Where is O'Brien, anyway?
0:17:38 > 0:17:41You three are normally as thick as thieves.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44He's um...gone on.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45To PE, sir.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49So if you don't mind...
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Right, so...
0:17:53 > 0:17:54Well, go on!
0:17:54 > 0:17:56And no messing.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Ah, Nora!
0:18:02 > 0:18:05So here we are in Hammond's HQ.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09Now we all know where he keeps his confiscated stuff,
0:18:09 > 0:18:11and that's where me console will be.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14It's through here, in a secret back room.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18No sign of it. Maybe he filed it away.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21HE BLOWS WHISTLE
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Right, lads.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Who's up for being in goal?
0:18:27 > 0:18:28Any volunteers?
0:18:30 > 0:18:31Good man, Roy.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33WHISTLE BLOWS
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Come on!
0:18:36 > 0:18:38THEY CHEER
0:18:38 > 0:18:39- WHISTLE BLOWS - What are you doing?
0:18:41 > 0:18:43- THEY CHEER - Oh, lads.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Come on, lads, let's play football!
0:18:47 > 0:18:52This is a shambles! What are you doing? Play football, will yous?!
0:18:55 > 0:18:56Oh, no!
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Jack, you're driving me crazy!
0:18:58 > 0:19:01WHISTLE BLOWS
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Nothing in here except a load of boring files.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15"Hello, everybody. I'm Derek 'The Hammer' Hammond,
0:19:15 > 0:19:19"and I'm here to make your life very difficult indeed."
0:19:19 > 0:19:21HE IMITATES HAMMOND SNORTING
0:19:21 > 0:19:24"No running, no shouting, and most of all, no having fun."
0:19:31 > 0:19:32HE SIGHS
0:19:32 > 0:19:33HE OPEN DRAWER
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Exhibit A. A nose hair trimmer.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Handy if you have a hairy nose.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Not much use to me, that.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Ew, what's that?! It's manky!
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Eurgh.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53ROY SNIGGERS
0:19:53 > 0:19:55I don't believe it.
0:19:59 > 0:20:00WHISTLE BLOWS
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Ah, wake up, Roy. Bryony would have saved that one.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05CHILDREN CHEER
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Here, tell everyone to keep Hogan up the other end.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11I can't believe you lot have gotten away with this for so long.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Are you going to help us or what?
0:20:14 > 0:20:16WHISTLE BLOWS
0:20:16 > 0:20:17HE GIGGLES
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Guess who this is, folks?
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Looks like Hammond has hair!
0:20:22 > 0:20:24And it's that manky wig!
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Now where the heck did he put me game?!
0:20:28 > 0:20:29WHISTLING >
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Oh! Great(!)
0:20:45 > 0:20:46WHISTLE BLOWS
0:20:55 > 0:20:57WHISTLE BLOWS
0:20:57 > 0:21:01Will yous put a bit of effort in, lads? Come on!
0:21:02 > 0:21:06Ten minutes. Ten minutes he's been here in this room.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08When is he ever gonna leave?
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Wha...?
0:21:14 > 0:21:15What's he doing?
0:21:15 > 0:21:19I don't believe it! He's got me game!
0:21:22 > 0:21:24WHISTLE BLOWS
0:21:32 > 0:21:33WHISTLE BLOWS
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Right, that's it, lads, give it here.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Now.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44This is a ball.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50And that...is the goal.
0:21:52 > 0:21:53And this is what you do.
0:21:55 > 0:21:56Oh!
0:22:03 > 0:22:04Roy?
0:22:05 > 0:22:06Are you all right?
0:22:08 > 0:22:09O'Brien?
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Conor, can you go and see if the school nurse is in?
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Stupid game. Kids' stuff, really.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28Fed up with it.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Huh. That'll do.
0:22:32 > 0:22:33Now...
0:22:35 > 0:22:36Hmm.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42AS HAMMOND: "Blah, blah, blah, waffle, waffle, waffle."
0:22:42 > 0:22:44HE IMITATES HAMMOND SNORTING
0:22:44 > 0:22:48"Gwint! Would you mind coming in here and clearing this stuff up?"
0:22:48 > 0:22:50HE IMITATES HAMMOND SNORTING
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Well, yes, I would mind, actually.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58Why don't you try clearing it up yourself, you lazy so-and-so?
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Ha. Huh.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03Now...
0:23:07 > 0:23:09See how you like that one, Hammond.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11What's he doing?
0:23:11 > 0:23:13CARETAKER LAUGHS
0:23:17 > 0:23:19He's gone. Great!
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Let's get it.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25ROY STRETCHES AND GRUNTS
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Ah. There.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Result!
0:23:29 > 0:23:30OK, let's go.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Oh, no! I'm locked in!
0:23:42 > 0:23:44I want to know what you lads were playing at -
0:23:44 > 0:23:46you can explain to Mr Hammond.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Mr Hammond!
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Can I have five minutes of your time to deal with these two?
0:23:57 > 0:24:02So...what seems to be the problem, Mr Hogan?
0:24:02 > 0:24:04That's what I intend to find out.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08- DOOR OPENS - Oh, no!
0:24:18 > 0:24:19Sit.
0:24:27 > 0:24:32These lads were using a cardboard cut-outof O'Brien in my lesson.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34The same one I caught you with earlier?
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Right, what's going on?
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Right.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48Where is Mr O'Brien?
0:24:49 > 0:24:53OK. They can sit here all morning...
0:24:53 > 0:24:55till you give me an answer.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00GAMES CONSOLE MUSIC PLAYS
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Oh, no! I've left the console on!
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Oh, no. Please.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08MUSIC STOPS
0:25:08 > 0:25:09Excuse me for a minute.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15ROY PANTS
0:25:16 > 0:25:18O'Brien!
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Well.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27Suffice to say Roy's birthday was a very subdued affair.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31It was more like a wake, to be honest.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Well, it was.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37And a month's detention.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39I mean, a month!
0:25:39 > 0:25:42It's got to be some kind of record. Hmm?
0:25:44 > 0:25:46And not a record to be proud of, either!
0:25:48 > 0:25:49(No.)
0:25:50 > 0:25:53THEY SIGH
0:25:54 > 0:25:59It is something of a record for the school, yes.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Not the sort of record we like to shout about, I admit.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04HE SNORTS
0:26:04 > 0:26:07But it's one of the...
0:26:07 > 0:26:10AS HAMMOND: "Gwint! Would you mind coming in here and clearing this up?"
0:26:10 > 0:26:12HAMMOND FAST-FORWARDS TAPE
0:26:12 > 0:26:14What?
0:26:14 > 0:26:16See how you like that one, Hammond!
0:26:17 > 0:26:18No.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20CARETAKER ON TAPE LAUGHS
0:26:29 > 0:26:30Denis!
0:26:32 > 0:26:33Denis!
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Can I have a quick word?
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Can you excuse me for a moment, gentlemen?
0:26:43 > 0:26:45Sit down, Denis.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50Yeah, thank you. Just a moment. Thank you.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Now, Denis...
0:26:55 > 0:26:58I'd like you to have a look at this.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00DOOR BANGS SHUT
0:27:02 > 0:27:03Was it worth it?
0:27:03 > 0:27:06Honestly...no!
0:27:06 > 0:27:08My birthday was a disaster,
0:27:08 > 0:27:11and I'm not getting my console back for three months!
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Three months!
0:27:13 > 0:27:15They may as well give it away,
0:27:15 > 0:27:18cos by the time I get it back, it'll be out of date.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Everyone else will be playing something newer.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24Still, though, you have to admit, he's a good-lookin' fella, isn't he?
0:27:24 > 0:27:27Every kid in the school wanted to sign him
0:27:27 > 0:27:28after they heard what we did.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31And before I've even got my film back from Hammond,
0:27:31 > 0:27:35I'll practically be famous.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:48 > 0:27:51E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk