Uncle Troy

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0:00:04 > 0:00:06'This is the story of Roy O'Brien.

0:00:06 > 0:00:09'He lives in an ordinary house, on an ordinary street.

0:00:09 > 0:00:13'the only trouble is, he doesn't LOOK very ordinary.

0:00:13 > 0:00:15'All Roy really wants is to fit in.

0:00:15 > 0:00:18'But it's very hard to stay out of trouble

0:00:18 > 0:00:20'when you're a cartoon!'

0:00:20 > 0:00:22Ro-o-oy!

0:00:24 > 0:00:26Ro-o-oy!

0:00:28 > 0:00:29Roy!

0:00:35 > 0:00:38ROY!

0:00:38 > 0:00:39He-he!

0:00:39 > 0:00:44'It's Monday morning and it's the first lesson at Ballyfermot School.

0:00:44 > 0:00:49'The most dreaded of all lessons, double science with Mr Hammond.'

0:00:49 > 0:00:56And then we add a little N-A-C-L-O.

0:00:56 > 0:00:59- Naclo! Ha! - HE SNORTS

0:01:01 > 0:01:05That's sodium hydrochloride to you and me.

0:01:07 > 0:01:09HE COUGHS

0:01:19 > 0:01:23- It's just SO boring.- Experiments are meant to be exciting,

0:01:23 > 0:01:28like Frankenstein, not boring like Mr Hammond's stain remover.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31I mean, seriously, stain remover.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34And his experiments never work.

0:01:34 > 0:01:38Mostly, we're just worried about our education.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42OK, I'm worried about our education.

0:01:43 > 0:01:48Now, which of you children is going to tell me...

0:01:48 > 0:01:52the missing ingredient?

0:01:52 > 0:01:54ROY SNORES

0:01:59 > 0:02:01Oh, now there's a surprise.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03O'Brien...

0:02:05 > 0:02:08The missing ingredient?

0:02:08 > 0:02:12It's a trick question, sir. There's no more ingredients.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14Counterfactual, O'Brien.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17- Counter what?- You're wrong, boy!

0:02:17 > 0:02:18You're wrong!

0:02:19 > 0:02:24It is, of course, M-N-O-2.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26Manganese oxide?

0:02:26 > 0:02:30But if he adds that the mixture...

0:02:33 > 0:02:34Ah.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36THE CLASS SCREAMS

0:02:38 > 0:02:40FIRE ALARM RINGS

0:02:42 > 0:02:43OK, class.

0:02:43 > 0:02:48As you know, there was a situation in the science lab this morning.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50In light of his minor injuries,

0:02:50 > 0:02:54Mr Hammond has decided to take a break from teaching science.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57- THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD - All right, settle down!

0:02:57 > 0:03:00This means we will be having a substitute teacher

0:03:00 > 0:03:02coming for an interview,

0:03:02 > 0:03:06so I want you all on your best behaviour.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09Substitute teachers aren't easy to find.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12Not with...our reputation.

0:03:15 > 0:03:20Substitute teachers never last long. They just can't get used to Roy.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23Remember Miss Dolton, the substitute maths teacher?

0:03:23 > 0:03:28Roy was so shocked with his grades his eyes popped out of his head.

0:03:28 > 0:03:29Never saw her again.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32Oh, Mr Kennedy, the substitute art teacher.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35Thought Roy was a piece of art. Said he was the worst painting ever.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38Should've seen his face when Roy started crying!

0:03:38 > 0:03:40Scared the life out of him.

0:03:40 > 0:03:44Right, that's about all we have time for this morning

0:03:44 > 0:03:48but...before you go, I wanted to remind you all

0:03:48 > 0:03:52that I am still looking for a model for the school prospectus.

0:03:52 > 0:03:53School what?

0:03:53 > 0:03:54Prospectus.

0:03:54 > 0:03:59The book we bring out every year, which let's potential pupils know

0:03:59 > 0:04:01how wonderful our school is.

0:04:01 > 0:04:05Being a photographer, I've been asked to take the photographs again.

0:04:05 > 0:04:09All I need is my model.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12There's no need to be shy.

0:04:12 > 0:04:14How about you, Roy?

0:04:14 > 0:04:16I...I...

0:04:16 > 0:04:17Well?

0:04:17 > 0:04:19Erm...

0:04:19 > 0:04:21BELL RINGS

0:04:29 > 0:04:31DOOR SLAMS

0:04:31 > 0:04:35There's no way I want to be the school prospectus kid.

0:04:35 > 0:04:39- I suppose her photos are a little over the top.- A little?!

0:04:39 > 0:04:44The girl who did it last year was so embarrassed she changed school.

0:04:44 > 0:04:45Yeah, if I was you,

0:04:45 > 0:04:48I'd be worried about the substitute teacher.

0:04:48 > 0:04:52The class will never forgive you if you mess up.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54Yeah, if you can get this guy to stay,

0:04:54 > 0:04:58- could mean no more Hammond for science.- Oh, you're right.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01It's huge! What should I do?

0:05:01 > 0:05:03Just go easy on the cartoon stuff.

0:05:03 > 0:05:07Yeah, just give this teacher a chance to get used to you.

0:05:07 > 0:05:10Ah, I can do that. No problem.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13Now, if you'll excuse me.

0:05:17 > 0:05:20Come on now, Jones, you can do this.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23There's no need to be afraid of the teachers or children.

0:05:23 > 0:05:28Deep down they're all the same as you and...

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Hi...I'm Roy.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37You must be the substitute teacher...

0:05:39 > 0:05:43Listen, I heard what you are saying and you don't have to worry.

0:05:43 > 0:05:47Everyone in the school is as NORMAL as they come.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49Normal, normal, normal!

0:05:49 > 0:05:52- Wah! Wah, wah!- Ah! Ah!

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Ah!

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Ahh! Ah!

0:05:59 > 0:06:01HE WHIMPERS

0:06:02 > 0:06:05Ahhh! Ahh!

0:06:11 > 0:06:13Oops!

0:06:15 > 0:06:20This is a new record for you. He didn't even make it into the class!

0:06:20 > 0:06:24- I already said I was sorry. Now, do I have to tell Hammo?- Yeah.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26Hammo's going to find out sooner or later

0:06:26 > 0:06:29and you'll be in twice as much trouble if he finds you kept quiet.

0:06:29 > 0:06:34Just tell him what happened. Honesty is always the best policy.

0:06:34 > 0:06:37You'd better hope he can find a new teacher.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40Otherwise, I wouldn't want to be telling the class

0:06:40 > 0:06:45that it's my fault Hammo's going back to teach science.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47Ahh! Ooh!

0:06:47 > 0:06:49Ah! Oh! Ah! Ahh!

0:06:51 > 0:06:52Fine.

0:06:56 > 0:06:57Enter!

0:06:59 > 0:07:03I've been expecting you. Come in. Come in.

0:07:05 > 0:07:10Mr Jones, as you can see, I'm in no condition to teach my science class.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13Not until these bandages come off anyway!

0:07:13 > 0:07:16So, I'd like to start you as soon as possible.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19How does that sound?

0:07:19 > 0:07:21Mr Jones?

0:07:21 > 0:07:24- Mr Jones?!- Actually...

0:07:24 > 0:07:25Ahem!

0:07:26 > 0:07:30- DEEP VOICE:- Actually, the name's O'Brien.- O'Brien?

0:07:30 > 0:07:34Where was I getting Mr Jones from? I do apologise.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36I must have a word with that receptionist.

0:07:36 > 0:07:41- So, what do you say? Can you start today?- I'm afraid there's a problem.

0:07:41 > 0:07:45- Problem?!- Yes, you see...

0:07:45 > 0:07:50I only realised this very morning that my nephew...

0:07:50 > 0:07:54My nephew Roy is a pupil here

0:07:54 > 0:07:56and I know it's against the teacher's code

0:07:56 > 0:08:00- to teacher your own family. - You're Roy O'Brien's uncle?

0:08:00 > 0:08:04Yes. Please call me Troy.

0:08:04 > 0:08:07I'm so sorry about the mix-up but...

0:08:07 > 0:08:11I'm sure one animated character is enough for any school.

0:08:11 > 0:08:14You mean you're a, you're a...?

0:08:14 > 0:08:17A cartoon? Very much so, yes.

0:08:17 > 0:08:21Oh, that's strange. Roy never mentioned you.

0:08:21 > 0:08:24I thought he was the only, erm, the only...

0:08:24 > 0:08:26Cartoon in the family?

0:08:26 > 0:08:28Heavens no!

0:08:28 > 0:08:32Shame really, I was looking forward to the job.

0:08:32 > 0:08:37Oh, well, no harm done and it's absolutely, most definitely,

0:08:37 > 0:08:43nobody's fault that YOU need to find another substitute teacher.

0:08:43 > 0:08:45- What?- Goodbye.- No!

0:08:45 > 0:08:48- The job is yours!- What?!

0:08:48 > 0:08:51The teachers code!

0:08:51 > 0:08:55- There is no teachers code. - There isn't? Are you sure?

0:08:55 > 0:08:59Quite sure! If anything, being Roy O'Brien's uncle is a plus.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02Finally we have a teacher that won't run away

0:09:02 > 0:09:05as soon as the cartoon passes them in the corridor! Ha-ha-ha!

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Oh, no offence.

0:09:07 > 0:09:11Great, well, I'll see you in the, er...

0:09:11 > 0:09:15I'll meet you in the staff room after the morning break, hmm?

0:09:17 > 0:09:18Mr O'Brien?

0:09:20 > 0:09:21Mr O'Brien?

0:09:29 > 0:09:33- Uncle Troy?! What were you thinking? - OK, fine, maybe I messed up.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36- What are we going to do? - This is great.- ALL: What?!

0:09:36 > 0:09:38OK, think about it.

0:09:38 > 0:09:42With Uncle Troy for a teacher I could actually pass science.

0:09:42 > 0:09:45- Me, pass science! - It's only for a few days.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47You're not considering this?!

0:09:47 > 0:09:50'Sinead, this stuff BETTER come off!'

0:09:50 > 0:09:53- 'It's just eyeliner. Now, hold still!' - ROY SHOUTS

0:09:53 > 0:09:57Remember, you're a teacher. So you've got to act like one.

0:09:57 > 0:09:58That means lots of bad jokes.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01If a students asks you can he go to the toilet, you say,

0:10:01 > 0:10:03"I don't know if you CAN go to the toilet,

0:10:03 > 0:10:06but I know you MAY go to the toilet."

0:10:06 > 0:10:08- HE LAUGHS:- That's a really good one.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10And you're a science teacher,

0:10:10 > 0:10:12so you're going to need to know the basics.

0:10:12 > 0:10:17For example, how much do you know about the electromagnetic spectrum?

0:10:17 > 0:10:20Is he the bad guy in the new superhero movie?

0:10:20 > 0:10:23This is never going to work.

0:10:23 > 0:10:24Ready!

0:10:28 > 0:10:33Come along, children. Don't you have any classes to go to, hmm?

0:10:33 > 0:10:34This could work.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36TOILET FLUSHES

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Scared the life out of us!

0:10:42 > 0:10:44So, what do you think? Have we missed anything?

0:10:44 > 0:10:46HE SIGHS

0:10:46 > 0:10:50Don't forget to wash your hands, young man, hmm?

0:10:50 > 0:10:52Oh, no. This has bad idea written all over it.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54I'm not getting involved.

0:10:54 > 0:10:55Are you sure?

0:10:55 > 0:10:56If we pull this off,

0:10:56 > 0:10:59it'll be the greatest scam this school's ever known.

0:10:59 > 0:11:03He's too short to be a teacher. Everybody, grab an arm or a leg.

0:11:03 > 0:11:04Aah!

0:11:04 > 0:11:06I'm not sure this is working! Stop!

0:11:06 > 0:11:10- Try to walk more normal.- I am trying!

0:11:13 > 0:11:18< Well... This is it. Good luck, Roy.

0:11:18 > 0:11:22And remember, if all else fails, just complain about the biscuits.

0:11:22 > 0:11:25Teachers always complain about the biscuits.

0:11:25 > 0:11:28- HE EXHALES - I'm going in.

0:11:40 > 0:11:48Everybody, this is Troy O'Brien, our new substitute science teacher.

0:11:48 > 0:11:51Good morning, fellow teachers.

0:11:51 > 0:11:57Yes. He's Roy O'Brien's uncle, but we won't hold that against him!

0:11:57 > 0:11:59HE LAUGHS

0:12:03 > 0:12:06- I can't hear anyone laughing, Gwint. - GWINT LAUGHS

0:12:06 > 0:12:10'I don't remember Roy mentioning having an uncle Troy before.'

0:12:10 > 0:12:17I know you're related, but isn't the similarity a little too similar?

0:12:17 > 0:12:18HE COUGHS

0:12:18 > 0:12:20TWIRLY SLIDE WHISTLE

0:12:20 > 0:12:22BISCUITS CRUNCH

0:12:23 > 0:12:27How are teachers expected to guide the great young minds of the world

0:12:27 > 0:12:30and their magnificent potential

0:12:30 > 0:12:33while being served up biscuits that, uh...

0:12:33 > 0:12:37- HE CLEARS THROAT - ..quite frankly...

0:12:37 > 0:12:40should be ashamed of themselves.

0:12:40 > 0:12:43- Absolutely. - That's what I've been saying!

0:12:43 > 0:12:47- They don't even have chocolate on them.- I dare ask about the tea.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49It's like dishwater.

0:12:49 > 0:12:51- It hurts my tastebuds. - It's very fizzy.

0:12:51 > 0:12:54BELL RINGS

0:12:58 > 0:13:00CHILDREN SHOUT AND LAUGH

0:13:09 > 0:13:11OK, quiet down.

0:13:11 > 0:13:15Quiet down! Quieten down, everybody.

0:13:15 > 0:13:19Good! Now.

0:13:19 > 0:13:24- This is Mr O'Brien, your new science teacher.- Hello, Mr O'Brien.

0:13:24 > 0:13:28- Hello there, Alex. - How do you know Alex?- Uh...

0:13:28 > 0:13:33He was my substitute geography teacher when I lived in Cork.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35- Really?- Yeah.

0:13:35 > 0:13:36- IN SQUEAKY VOICE:- Yes.

0:13:36 > 0:13:38- IN NORMAL VOICE:- Yes.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41They love their old 'geogo' up north!

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Cork is down south.

0:13:45 > 0:13:52- And where is your nephew Roy? - Isn't he here? How odd!

0:13:52 > 0:13:54HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

0:13:54 > 0:13:57Come on, miss. Has Roy ever been on time for class?

0:13:57 > 0:14:01No. But as soon as he does arrive, tell him I want to see him.

0:14:09 > 0:14:13So... Science.

0:14:13 > 0:14:14Science!

0:14:14 > 0:14:15Oh, dear!

0:14:18 > 0:14:22Science, science, science. Any questions so far?

0:14:23 > 0:14:27- Yes.- Do you actually know anything about science, sir,

0:14:27 > 0:14:29or are you as thick as your nephew?

0:14:29 > 0:14:31You know, I was just thinking,

0:14:31 > 0:14:36before we make our stain remover we need some stains to test it on.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39So I'm looking for a volunteer. Anybody? Anyone?

0:14:39 > 0:14:42- TWIRLY SLIDE WHISTLE - Excellent.

0:14:42 > 0:14:48- The beady-eyed little girl at the back.- Beady-eyed?

0:14:48 > 0:14:52OK. We're going to need some more poster paints from the art class

0:14:52 > 0:14:54and food dye from Home Economics.

0:14:54 > 0:14:59Claire, if you don't mind. Thank you.

0:14:59 > 0:15:02In the meantime, let's get started.

0:15:02 > 0:15:04HE LAUGHS EXCITEDLY

0:15:08 > 0:15:10Next, next.

0:15:10 > 0:15:13Keep them coming, keep them coming.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19Missed a spot.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24Brilliant.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28BELL RINGS

0:15:34 > 0:15:37- Oh. Roy.- Hey, miss. You wanted to see me?

0:15:37 > 0:15:39Yes.

0:15:39 > 0:15:43I'm holding auditions for this year's school prospectus tonight,

0:15:43 > 0:15:46and I think you may be just what I'm looking for.

0:15:46 > 0:15:48Wait a minute. Tonight?

0:15:49 > 0:15:51No... I can't.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53It's my ma's birthday.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57Every year we go to our favourite restaurant, The Golden Noodle.

0:15:59 > 0:16:01Oh, why tonight, miss?!

0:16:02 > 0:16:04That's too bad.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07Maybe next time?

0:16:07 > 0:16:08See you!

0:16:12 > 0:16:16'It's lunchtime. And substitute teacher Troy O'Brien

0:16:16 > 0:16:18'is on lunch duty.'

0:16:18 > 0:16:21I can't take this much longer.

0:16:21 > 0:16:23Is my hair really that bad?

0:16:26 > 0:16:27Hi there, Mr O'Brien.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29- HE CLEARS HIS THROAT - Hello there.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32- Great science class, Mr O'Brien. - Why, thank you.

0:16:36 > 0:16:38I can't believe it's actually working.

0:16:38 > 0:16:40I know! I haven't another class until tomorrow.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42And when I've finished supervising lunch,

0:16:42 > 0:16:45I can be myself for the rest of the day.

0:16:46 > 0:16:51Now. Here. A little present for your first day.

0:16:51 > 0:16:55Thank you, Mr Gwint. (Just keeps getting better and better.)

0:16:55 > 0:16:59Goodbye, Sinead. What an adorable youngster.

0:17:00 > 0:17:03I thought you might like to eat with us in the staff room.

0:17:03 > 0:17:07It hardly seems fair, you doing lunch duty on your first day.

0:17:07 > 0:17:11Great. I really don't like to miss lunch!

0:17:11 > 0:17:15You know, it's strange. I can't see Roy anywhere.

0:17:15 > 0:17:20He doesn't like to miss his lunch either.

0:17:20 > 0:17:23Especially...on cherry jelly Monday.

0:17:25 > 0:17:28I think we'd be better off with Hammond for science.

0:17:28 > 0:17:30I don't like where this is going.

0:17:30 > 0:17:33What are you talking about? Everything's going great.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36I don't know. I think Miss Sheringham's on to Roy.

0:17:36 > 0:17:40Really? Would you say she's on to Troy too?

0:17:40 > 0:17:42They're the same person, Jack.

0:17:43 > 0:17:47Oh... Yeah. Right.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49So the maths teacher says,

0:17:49 > 0:17:52"If I have seven oranges in this hand,

0:17:52 > 0:17:55"and eight oranges in this hand,

0:17:55 > 0:17:57"what do I have?"

0:17:58 > 0:18:01And the schoolgirl says...

0:18:01 > 0:18:02"Very big hands!"

0:18:02 > 0:18:04ALL LAUGH HEARTILY

0:18:06 > 0:18:09Oh, no. Seriously, stop!

0:18:11 > 0:18:13You know what else is funny?

0:18:15 > 0:18:19You never see Troy and Roy in the same room at the same time.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23Well, the thing is...

0:18:23 > 0:18:28You know how kids feel about being related to their teacher.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33Roy is... embarrassed to be seen with me, it's...

0:18:36 > 0:18:41It's so strange. I became a teacher to help children find themselves.

0:18:45 > 0:18:49And I...I end up losing a nephew on the way.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51HE SOBS

0:18:54 > 0:18:55Well, now, Miss Sheringham.

0:18:57 > 0:18:59I hope you're happy with yourself.

0:18:59 > 0:19:03You've upset our newest member of staff.

0:19:04 > 0:19:08You know - if you were a little less Sheringham

0:19:08 > 0:19:10and a little more O'Brien,

0:19:10 > 0:19:12then perhaps the children

0:19:12 > 0:19:15might actually want to be in the school prospectus.

0:19:15 > 0:19:17Thank you, Derek. Thanks.

0:19:19 > 0:19:23Fine. I apologise.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26In fact...

0:19:27 > 0:19:31..I feel so bad,

0:19:34 > 0:19:36I'd like to invite you out for dinner tonight,

0:19:36 > 0:19:38to celebrate your first day.

0:19:38 > 0:19:41Dinner with O'Brien, super idea! Count me in.

0:19:41 > 0:19:44Right. The more, the merrier.

0:19:44 > 0:19:47That's...

0:19:47 > 0:19:49not necessary.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51Oh...but I insist.

0:19:52 > 0:19:57How about that nice Chinese place? The Golden Noodle.

0:19:59 > 0:20:02HE GULPS

0:20:03 > 0:20:05So you've got to be at The Golden Noodle

0:20:05 > 0:20:10with your family AND the teachers, at the same time?

0:20:10 > 0:20:15- It's going to be tricky, isn't it? - No. It's going to be impossible.

0:20:15 > 0:20:18I'm sorry, but I'm so glad I'm not going to be there tonight

0:20:18 > 0:20:21to watch THAT disaster unfold.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24Yeah... Well, the thing is, Tommy,

0:20:24 > 0:20:28my ma said I could bring one of my friends, and I picked you.

0:20:29 > 0:20:31What?

0:20:42 > 0:20:46Isn't that beautiful? They say you get to keep it on your birthday.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49- Absolutely beautiful. I wonder, can you eat it?- No.

0:20:49 > 0:20:51I'm joking, I'm only joking!

0:20:51 > 0:20:56So that's four Singapore specials, and for sir...?

0:20:57 > 0:20:58Erm...

0:21:02 > 0:21:04I need to go to the toilet. I'll be back in a minute.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06OK, love.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09Yo hueng fillet beef.

0:21:25 > 0:21:28- Want to taste it? - No. It's your night.

0:21:29 > 0:21:30- Hiya.- Hi.

0:21:32 > 0:21:37So the kid says, "Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"

0:21:37 > 0:21:39I said, "Of course, no."

0:21:39 > 0:21:42So he says, "Great. Cos I didn't do my homework!"

0:21:42 > 0:21:45THEY ROAR WITH LAUGHTER

0:21:49 > 0:21:51Classic!

0:21:51 > 0:21:56My word, you must have led one heck of a teacher's life.

0:21:56 > 0:21:57Ah, yeah...

0:21:57 > 0:22:00You know, Troy, I've been thinking.

0:22:01 > 0:22:05Maybe you should stay on at the school full time.

0:22:05 > 0:22:06- What?- What?

0:22:06 > 0:22:09Teachers like you are hard to find,

0:22:09 > 0:22:12and I don't think I'll ever teach science again.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14My eyes will heal,

0:22:14 > 0:22:20but it's the scars on the inside that won't go away.

0:22:20 > 0:22:25The screaming children, the fire alarm...

0:22:25 > 0:22:29Er...if you'll excuse me, I'll just er...

0:22:29 > 0:22:32I want to freshen up.

0:22:44 > 0:22:45Is that a moustache?

0:22:46 > 0:22:48Hmm?

0:22:52 > 0:22:54Slipped.

0:22:54 > 0:22:56I, er...

0:22:56 > 0:23:01I'm just going to, er...dry off in the bathroom.

0:23:01 > 0:23:04Are you all right, love?

0:23:06 > 0:23:09Weren't you taller when you went to the bathroom?

0:23:09 > 0:23:11All great teachers are like that.

0:23:11 > 0:23:14They're always smaller than you remember them.

0:23:14 > 0:23:16- That's so true.- It's psychological.

0:23:16 > 0:23:19If you'll excuse me...

0:23:19 > 0:23:21THUD!

0:23:21 > 0:23:24BIRDS TWITTER

0:23:24 > 0:23:29Lads! That's enough of that messing. Sit down.

0:23:29 > 0:23:30This is a fancy place.

0:23:30 > 0:23:35Now - stuff as much of that in as you can, there's a cake coming.

0:23:35 > 0:23:38- I think I've ate too much. - HIS STOMACH RUMBLES

0:23:52 > 0:23:53I'll be right back.

0:23:57 > 0:23:58Hello, Roy.

0:23:58 > 0:24:01Oh... Hello, Miss Sheringham.

0:24:01 > 0:24:04I believe birthday wishes are in order.

0:24:05 > 0:24:09Such a lovely family occasion.

0:24:09 > 0:24:12Speaking of family... There's actually someone very special

0:24:12 > 0:24:14I'd like you to meet at OUR table.

0:24:14 > 0:24:18- Oh, lovely... - ALL:- # Happy birthday to you

0:24:18 > 0:24:21# Happy birthday to you

0:24:21 > 0:24:25# Happy birthday dear Maura

0:24:25 > 0:24:29- # Happy birthday to you! # - HE BELCHES

0:24:30 > 0:24:33Where's my centrepiece?!

0:24:34 > 0:24:38That's the fire alarm. We need you all to calmly exit the restaurant.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40Maura...!

0:24:41 > 0:24:43FIRE ALARM RINGS

0:24:47 > 0:24:49Have you seen Mr Hammond?

0:24:51 > 0:24:54Can anyone else smell smoke?

0:25:01 > 0:25:03I believe this is your homework.

0:25:04 > 0:25:09An A?! I have never got an A before in my life.

0:25:09 > 0:25:10Thanks, Mr O'Brien.

0:25:10 > 0:25:15I heard about last night. I can't believe you got away with that.

0:25:15 > 0:25:18Yeah. Poor old Tommy's still getting over the whole ordeal.

0:25:18 > 0:25:21But apart from that it's been plain sailing.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24And I don't see my luck running out any time soon.

0:25:25 > 0:25:27OK, class! Settle down.

0:25:27 > 0:25:29Now... Stain remover. Where were we?

0:25:31 > 0:25:32Manganese oxide?

0:25:33 > 0:25:36But if he adds that to the mixture...

0:25:37 > 0:25:40BANG! KIDS SCREAM

0:25:49 > 0:25:51Hey. Look at the posters.

0:25:51 > 0:25:56They're blank. He did it! The stain remover actually worked.

0:25:56 > 0:25:59My A. It's...it's gone.

0:25:59 > 0:26:03Looks like the stain remover worked TOO well.

0:26:03 > 0:26:05It removed all his make-up!

0:26:06 > 0:26:09- CHOKING - Is everybody all right?!

0:26:11 > 0:26:15I knew it! Roy...is Troy.

0:26:15 > 0:26:18You are in so much trouble, Roy O'Brien.

0:26:18 > 0:26:20I'm sorry, it was never supposed to go this far.

0:26:20 > 0:26:23It was...just one little lie that got too out of hand, and...

0:26:25 > 0:26:30..I think I've learnt my lesson now. Honesty really is the best policy.

0:26:31 > 0:26:36Please, Miss. Please. Don't tell Mr Hammond.

0:26:40 > 0:26:43What the blazes is going on here?!

0:26:45 > 0:26:48Well, Mr Hammond...

0:26:49 > 0:26:51..it appears that

0:26:51 > 0:26:53Troy O'Brien's poor science skills

0:26:53 > 0:26:56literally blew up in his face.

0:26:56 > 0:26:58After that...he just disappeared.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01Disappeared?!

0:27:01 > 0:27:05And I'm sure he won't be coming back.

0:27:05 > 0:27:07Wait. There's something else you should know.

0:27:07 > 0:27:10Cathy, your hair. It's back to normal.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12The stain remover DID work.

0:27:12 > 0:27:15My hair... I've got my beautiful hair again!

0:27:15 > 0:27:19Yes. Quite. Anything else, Cathy?

0:27:19 > 0:27:20Oh, yeah...

0:27:23 > 0:27:26It also has a lot of...body?

0:27:30 > 0:27:31And next time you meet your uncle...

0:27:31 > 0:27:34tell him he's fired!

0:27:35 > 0:27:37I can see. I can see.

0:27:39 > 0:27:41Thanks for getting me off the hook, miss. I owe you big time.

0:27:41 > 0:27:43Yes, you do.

0:27:45 > 0:27:49And believe me, Roy... you're anything BUT off the hook.

0:28:06 > 0:28:09Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd