0:00:04 > 0:00:07'This is the story of Roy O'Brien.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10'He lives in an ordinary house on an ordinary street.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13'The only trouble is, he doesn't look very ordinary.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16'All Roy really wants is to fit in,
0:00:16 > 0:00:20'but it's very hard to stay out of trouble when you're a cartoon.'
0:00:20 > 0:00:23ROYYYYYY!
0:00:24 > 0:00:26ROYYYYYY!
0:00:28 > 0:00:30ROYYYYYY!
0:00:36 > 0:00:38CHOIR: ROY!
0:00:40 > 0:00:45'It's Saturday, and Maura is hosting the Sandyford Ladies Book Club.'
0:00:45 > 0:00:49- Becky!- What? - You're supposed to be helping!- I am.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Don't mind the book, we'll get the DVD.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Can't tell you how excited I am.
0:00:56 > 0:01:00And nervous. I mean, getting an invitation to join is a big deal.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03Sandyford.
0:01:07 > 0:01:11Myself and the ladies shall arrive promptly at 2pm this Saturday,
0:01:11 > 0:01:13you will receive us warmly with light refreshments,
0:01:13 > 0:01:14then you may take our coats -
0:01:14 > 0:01:17which are to be hung up properly on sturdy, wooden hangers,
0:01:17 > 0:01:20not tossed carelessly in a pile on somebody's bed, do you understand?
0:01:20 > 0:01:23- (Yes, yes.)- Good.
0:01:23 > 0:01:29And, Moira, remember, you're not in Ballyfermot any more. This...
0:01:29 > 0:01:31is Sandyford.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38How long before we can go home?
0:01:38 > 0:01:42Well, if your mother's book club thingy is a success, a few hours.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45- And if it goes badly? - Ha! About a week.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48- What are we supposed to do in the meantime?- You know what?
0:01:48 > 0:01:54- I have an idea.- What?- No, trust me. You'll love it.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59Right, before we break...
0:01:59 > 0:02:04- let's run through the rules. - Put the balls into the holes?- Nah.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08Well, yes, yeah, but there's more to it than that.
0:02:08 > 0:02:13- Chillax, Da, I'll figure it out. - Right, first things first.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15I want you to hit this cue ball...
0:02:15 > 0:02:18into that pack of reds... as hard as you can.
0:02:26 > 0:02:27DRUM ROLL
0:02:33 > 0:02:37You were right. This game is brilliant!
0:02:38 > 0:02:41- Can I go upstairs and read?- Stay, and help me greet my guests first.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42DOORBELL RINGS
0:02:42 > 0:02:44And remember to be polite and charming -
0:02:44 > 0:02:48and to put the coats on the wooden hangers, not the wire ones.
0:02:48 > 0:02:49SHE EXHALES QUICKLY
0:02:50 > 0:02:52BOOK CLUB LADIES: Ooh!
0:02:52 > 0:02:55- Gloria! - BOTH: Mwah, mwah!
0:02:55 > 0:02:59- Welcome! Nice to see you. - BOTH: Mwah, mwah!
0:02:59 > 0:03:05- Come inside. Oh, Amanda. Alywn! - BOTH: Mwah, mwah!
0:03:05 > 0:03:09- Lovely to see you. Nola! - BOTH: Mwah, mwah!
0:03:10 > 0:03:15Ooh, yes. I'm warning you.
0:03:17 > 0:03:22Doesn't Moira have a charming little home, ladies?
0:03:22 > 0:03:24It's just amazing what can be achieved on a
0:03:24 > 0:03:26tight little budget nowadays.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31What are you, an interior designer?
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- POSH VOICE:- Ladies, have you met my daughter Rebecca?
0:03:34 > 0:03:37It's lovely to meet you, Rebecca.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41- It's Becky.- Oh, Rebecca, take the ladies' coats, please.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Make yourselves at home, I'm going to get some refreshments.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Thank you, Rebecca!
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Charming.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08- Right, here, try it again. - Which colour?- The blue. Go on.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16- Great shot, son! - Hey, you two, keep it...
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Tubbs O'Brien?
0:04:19 > 0:04:24I don't believe it, it is you. Talk about a blast from the past.
0:04:24 > 0:04:29- Clive "The Tornado" Butler.- How are you keeping these days, Tubbs?
0:04:29 > 0:04:36- What brings you to, eh, MY snooker hall?- Tubbs?- I'll explain later.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Why don't you explain now?
0:04:39 > 0:04:42We used to play each other in tournaments.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46Tubbs was the top dog in his class, in his age group.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Until I came along. What was it again?
0:04:49 > 0:04:54Oh, yeah - five whitewash victories in a row, to me.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Poor old Tubbs lost his bottle after that.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Had to give up the game altogether.
0:05:00 > 0:05:05- Is that true, Da?- It's that long ago, son, I don't really remember.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Well, I do, because I'm the one who put you into early retirement.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15Now Roy's trying to play snooker too! How funny is that?
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Not funny at all, Declan.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21We're here to train, not to get distracted by these...tourists.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25You should be ashamed of yourself, Tubbs.
0:05:25 > 0:05:32This...is a cathedral of snooker. Silence is golden.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36Yeah, sorry, we'll try and keep it down a little bit.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Yeah, you better.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Who does he think he is, giving out to us for having fun?
0:05:42 > 0:05:45He is a four-time Irish amateur champion.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48And you know what else he is, son? He's right.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Snooker's no laughing matter.
0:05:52 > 0:05:57- Right, we're going to start playing properly from now on.- With a cue?
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Yes, with a cue. Come on, your break.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Ah-ha!
0:06:02 > 0:06:05- It's going great. What do you think?- Whatever you say...
0:06:05 > 0:06:07POSH VOICE: "..Moira".
0:06:07 > 0:06:11Get back in there, Becky. Ah!
0:06:11 > 0:06:13BOOK CLUB LADIES COO
0:06:16 > 0:06:17ROY'S DAD WHISTLES
0:06:19 > 0:06:22- O'Brien.- Shh! He's on a break of 35.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Well played, son.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31- Yes, very impressive, O'Brien, very impressive.- Beginner's luck.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35- That was a brilliant shot. - More like a fluke.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37No, Roy has a knack for the game.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Yeah, only cos he's a cartoon.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Don't worry, kid, if you take after your old man you'll soon
0:06:42 > 0:06:45learn how to choke under pressure.
0:06:45 > 0:06:46HE MAKES CHOKING NOISE
0:06:46 > 0:06:49No, he won't. Because he's going to get better from now on.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53- Doubt it.- Oh, he will. And I'm telling you, won't be long
0:06:53 > 0:06:56until he's able to wipe the floor with your nephew.
0:06:56 > 0:06:57- Oh, yeah?- Oh, yeah.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02- Oh, yeah?- Oh, yeah.- Oh, yeah?!- Yeah.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Gentlemen, show a bit of decorum.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07We're in a cathedral of snooker.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Are you challenging my boy to a match, Tubbs?
0:07:14 > 0:07:17- Yes, I am.- Fine.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20We meet here next Saturday afternoon,
0:07:20 > 0:07:22first to five frames is the winner.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27- Derek, can you referee? - I'd be honoured.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29DECLAN GIGGLES GLEEFULLY
0:07:29 > 0:07:33Oh, man, this is going to be sweet. I get to whitewash O'Brien.
0:07:36 > 0:07:42Snooker. My one last island of refuge - invaded by O'Brien.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47I ask you...is nothing sacred?
0:07:48 > 0:07:53Well, of course, I said to her, "Marjorie, once a cheater,
0:07:53 > 0:07:57"always a cheater." But would she listen to me? No.
0:07:57 > 0:08:02Marjorie never listens, don't bother.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05- What sort of book club is this? - Excuse me?
0:08:05 > 0:08:09You're supposed to be discussing Wuthering Heights,
0:08:09 > 0:08:12all you've done so far is gossip.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- BOOK CLUB LADIES: Oooh! - Too busy what?!
0:08:17 > 0:08:22Mint tea, anyone? Rebecca, come and help me in the kitchen.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27A lively young lady!
0:08:29 > 0:08:31THEY LAUGH
0:08:32 > 0:08:36I can't beat Deco, Da. He's miles better than me.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40- Don't worry, son, we've got a week to train.- But...
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Listen to me, all right?
0:08:42 > 0:08:46I say you're a natural, so if you give it your best shot
0:08:46 > 0:08:49and work hard...
0:08:49 > 0:08:50I'll be proud of you. Win, lose or draw.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56But I thought it was first to five frames. How can there be a draw?
0:08:58 > 0:09:03Well, win or lose, I'll be proud of you. Deal?
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Good lad.
0:09:08 > 0:09:14- Really lovely.- Well, Moira, all in all, not a bad effort.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Ooh, thank you, Harriet.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19I can't say the same for your choice of refreshments,
0:09:19 > 0:09:21but apart from that?
0:09:21 > 0:09:23BOOK CLUB LADIES: Mmm, mmm!
0:09:23 > 0:09:26The-the-the food wasn't nice, Harriet, no?
0:09:26 > 0:09:30- What's the word I'm looking for, ladies?- LADIES: Ooh...
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Ah! Bland.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35But you know, you did your best, and that's all that matters.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38But I can do a lot better, Harriet, if you just give me another chance.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Cecilia, would you mind if Moira hosted again next Saturday?
0:09:42 > 0:09:45- Not at all, Harriet.- Splendid!
0:09:45 > 0:09:49So we'll see you here next week again then, so.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53And maybe without interruptions from non-book club members.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56- Does she mean me?- Uh, Rebecca, don't you have homework to do?
0:09:56 > 0:10:02- Anyway...- Harriet, thanks for the opportunity, I won't let you down.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05- You're so welcome. Kisses! - BOTH: Mwah, mwah!
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Bye!
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Alwyn.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17Winona, bye. Bye-bye. Mwah.
0:10:20 > 0:10:21I know exactly what you're going to say,
0:10:21 > 0:10:24- Becky, you can save your breath. - Don't you mean...
0:10:24 > 0:10:26POSH VOICE: "..Rebecca"?
0:10:26 > 0:10:27Becky! Come back here!
0:10:31 > 0:10:34That Tornado man was really horrible to me da.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38I guess it's why it's so important that I beat Deco.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43I just hope I don't let him down.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48I wonder how much it'll cost to hire caterers.
0:10:50 > 0:10:51Why stop there?
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Maybe you can get Gary Barlow to come round and serenade them
0:10:54 > 0:10:56while they eat(!)
0:10:56 > 0:10:58- You know what I was just thinking there?- Mm-hmm.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Maybe Roy should take some time off school next week,
0:11:01 > 0:11:04just to help him prepare for his match.
0:11:04 > 0:11:09- Sure, love.- Really? Great, I'll call Miss Jervis in the morning.- OK.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13- You don't have a problem with any of this?- Any of what, Becky?
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Your father and Roy are spending quality time together.
0:11:16 > 0:11:21You wouldn't let me do that in a million years!
0:11:21 > 0:11:22DOOR SLAMS
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Chicken with the dressing, garlic and chilli...
0:11:28 > 0:11:30- Morning!- Ahhhh!
0:11:30 > 0:11:32What you mean, morning?
0:11:32 > 0:11:37- What time is it? What's going on? - This, son, is your mortal enemy.
0:11:37 > 0:11:41Now, I want you to spend 30 minutes every day staring into his eyes,
0:11:41 > 0:11:44visualising his defeat and destruction.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47- Destruction?- Yes, I'll explain everything when you're out running.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49- Running where?! - Five miles, son, every morning.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Part one of our new training regime.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54- What do you think you're doing? - I'm not going.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56- Right, get out of bed, stop messing.- No.
0:11:58 > 0:12:03- Right, come on.- Dad, no. Dad, get out!
0:12:03 > 0:12:04SLAPSTICK SOUND EFFECTS
0:12:07 > 0:12:08I'm still not going.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11- What does running have to do with playing snooker?- Listen...
0:12:11 > 0:12:15Roy...it's not like the old days.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Snooker is a physical sport just as much as a mental sport.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20That's why I need to prepare you for victory.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23So five-mile runs are absolutely necessary.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25I wouldn't have you doing them if I didn't think so.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27What about your promise?
0:12:27 > 0:12:32- You said you'd be proud of me win or lose.- Well, I will. When you win.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34- Da!- But you can win, son!
0:12:34 > 0:12:36You have the talent, you just need the focus
0:12:36 > 0:12:39and the determination. That's what I'm here to teach you.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42- OK.- Good lad. Now...
0:12:44 > 0:12:50- ..let's go. Here.- What's this for? I thought we were...
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Ba-ba-ba-ba.
0:12:52 > 0:12:57- Charlene goes everywhere with you now, son.- Charlene?
0:12:57 > 0:13:01Charlene is more than just your snooker cue. She's your lightsaber.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05She's your samurai sword.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08How am I supposed to run while I'm holding a snooker cue?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12You'll get used to it. Now, come on.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Victory is waiting for us. Come on!
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Higher, legs up, that's it.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Up, up, up, up! Good lad.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Higher, son, higher.
0:13:31 > 0:13:32ROCKY-STYLE MUSIC
0:13:51 > 0:13:53FLIES BUZZ
0:14:06 > 0:14:09FLIES BUZZ
0:14:27 > 0:14:29SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
0:14:33 > 0:14:35BELL RINGS
0:14:35 > 0:14:40Just so you know, this Saturday I'm going to teach Roy O'Brien a lesson
0:14:40 > 0:14:45in how to play snooker and you're all invited to witness the carnage.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49Wow, Declan, snooker. A game based on geometric principles.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53Actually, that gives me a great idea for a lesson.
0:14:53 > 0:14:59Class, who would like to learn about the wonders of geometrics, hey?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01PUPILS COMPLAIN
0:15:07 > 0:15:11You gave Roy O'Brien time off school to practise snooker?
0:15:11 > 0:15:13He's discovered a new skill.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17It's our responsibility as educators to encourage him in any way we can.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19At the expense of the established curriculum.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23There are many different paths in life. Academia is just one of them.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27Yes, and to be honest, Roy O'Brien is hardly the sharpest
0:15:27 > 0:15:30tool in the box when it comes to book learning!
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Roy is a remarkable young man!
0:15:32 > 0:15:36I truly believe he can accomplish anything he puts his mind to.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40True, if he turns out to be a snooker-playing prodigy,
0:15:40 > 0:15:43he might win a stack of trophies to brighten up our rather
0:15:43 > 0:15:45lacklustre awards cabinet.
0:15:45 > 0:15:50No student at this school will ever come under pressure to win.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Taking part is all that counts.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Derek.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59I can still see you.
0:16:10 > 0:16:16- You're very quiet there, Roy. - Erm, yeah. Just enjoying my book.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Are you looking forward to claiming glory
0:16:19 > 0:16:21- on the field of battle tomorrow? - ROY GULPS
0:16:21 > 0:16:25Don't you mean "play a silly game of snooker"?
0:16:25 > 0:16:29- Actually, no. I prefer the way I said it.- Yeah. Absolutely.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31I'm going to win this for you, Da,
0:16:31 > 0:16:34- and then we can both retire as champions.- Retire?
0:16:34 > 0:16:38Are you kidding me? No, no, no, son, no.
0:16:38 > 0:16:43- This isn't the end of snooker, this is the beginning.- What do you mean?
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Well, I mean, look at the progress you've made in the last week.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50At this rate, you'll be world champion by the time you're 16.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53- World champion?- Then we'll have you out on the pro circuit.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57You'll have your own line of merchandising, maybe a video.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59And then in 25 or 30 years,
0:16:59 > 0:17:02you can retire as the greatest player
0:17:02 > 0:17:04to ever pick up a snooker cue.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07What if he doesn't want to play snooker for the next 30 years?
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Don't be ridiculous. The boy was born to play the game.
0:17:15 > 0:17:19You have to win, Roy, at all costs.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22On your toes.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42- No!- I can't believe you let me down, son.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45Hit him off the table, Declan.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Roy! Wake up!
0:17:53 > 0:17:59- Are you OK?- I was a snooker ball! - I can see that. Look.
0:18:05 > 0:18:10I'm a prisoner, Becky. I've been sentenced to 30 years' hard snooker.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13- Go back to bed. I've a way out of this.- How?
0:18:14 > 0:18:17I'll explain in the morning.
0:18:22 > 0:18:26- What?- I said go back to bed, Roy.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40- Listen, you're going to throw the match today.- I can't do that.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42Of course you can. Just don't pot any balls.
0:18:43 > 0:18:47But I'm a snooker phenomenon, even when I'm not trying to pot them.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52Anyway, I'll make a show of Da in front of the Tornado
0:18:52 > 0:18:55if I lose on purpose, and I can't do that to him.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57You've got three choices. One, you throw the match.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Two, you tell Da you're quitting. Or three...
0:19:00 > 0:19:04I spend the next 30 years wearing a stupid dickie bow.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07All right. I'll do it.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Come on.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Come on, Roy!
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Go on, Roy! You can do it!
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Gentlemen, shake hands, please.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- You're going down.- Yeah, whatever.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49You're leaving this place the same way you came in.
0:19:50 > 0:19:55- What? Through the front door? - No, as a loser!
0:19:55 > 0:19:59First frame, Roy to break.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04CROWD SHOUTS ENCOURAGEMENT
0:20:10 > 0:20:15- Yeah! Get in there, son! - THEY CLAP
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Harriet! Come in. Mwah, mwah! Let me take your coat.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28- Thanks, Moira! - THEY GIGGLE
0:20:29 > 0:20:34Well, may I say, this is a wonderful spread.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Wouldn't you agree, ladies?
0:20:36 > 0:20:40In fact, I don't think Cecilia would have come close to this.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43She's been off her game for quite some time.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- Isn't that true, Cecilia? - SHE GIGGLES
0:20:46 > 0:20:49- Who would like some tea? Mint? Camomile?- Oh, yes.
0:20:49 > 0:20:54- Don't get too comfortable. You're all leaving in a minute.- Rebecca?
0:20:54 > 0:20:56What are you doing here?
0:20:56 > 0:20:59Who can tell me the name of Heathcliff's housekeeper?
0:20:59 > 0:21:03- THEY HESITATE - Mrs... A woman. What's her name?
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Where did Mr Earnshaw find Heathcliff as a boy?
0:21:06 > 0:21:09- THEY HESITATE - Erm... Heathcliff as a boy?
0:21:09 > 0:21:12- Was it a shed? Erm... - Who wrote Wuthering Heights?
0:21:12 > 0:21:17Oh! Kate Bush? Was it? Could be.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22- Come on, we have to go.- What are you talking about?- Roy needs your help.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Do you usually let your daughter speak to you
0:21:25 > 0:21:30- so disrespectfully, Moira? - Maura! Her name's Maura!
0:21:30 > 0:21:34- Not Moira, you Sandyford snob! - How dare you!
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Rebecca! Apologise!
0:21:36 > 0:21:42Do you really care more about these freeloaders than your own son?
0:21:42 > 0:21:46Why wouldn't she? After all, we're a better class of people!
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Don't you dare speak to my daughter like that!
0:21:50 > 0:21:53I knew it was a mistake inviting the likes of you into my circle!
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Becky's right.
0:21:55 > 0:21:59This isn't a book club, it's a dictatorship run by a bully.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Do you really want to make an enemy of me?
0:22:03 > 0:22:07- Because I'll destroy you, Moira. - Maura! My name is Maura.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10In Ballyfermot, nobody would put up with this kind of abuse
0:22:10 > 0:22:12from the likes of her.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15We'd start our own book club, one where you actually read the book.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17I'd like to see you try!
0:22:17 > 0:22:19I can promise you all right now, right here,
0:22:19 > 0:22:24that no-one will be criticised for the poor quality of the fancy food
0:22:24 > 0:22:27or the colour of their skirt and their choice of wallpaper.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32- I'm with Maura!- Cecelia!
0:22:32 > 0:22:34- Me too!- Amanda!
0:22:34 > 0:22:37No, Harriet. We're not going to take it any more!
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Sorry, Maura. What were you saying?
0:22:39 > 0:22:42Why don't we all meet here next Saturday?
0:22:42 > 0:22:46Harriet, you're not invited! THEY SQUEAL
0:22:46 > 0:22:51- You can't do that to me!- If you'll excuse me, my son needs my help.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD
0:22:59 > 0:23:02THEY CHANT: Let's go, Roy, let's go!
0:23:04 > 0:23:09Quiet, everyone! This is a snooker match, not a TV song competition.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Right, this is it, son. Moment of truth.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15- Me hands feel all shaky.- Yeah, well, don't fight that feeling, son.
0:23:15 > 0:23:19- That's just the adrenaline flowing. - Roy! Are we too late?
0:23:19 > 0:23:23- Is the match over?- No. This is the final frame. Winner takes it all.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Why aren't you at your book club?
0:23:26 > 0:23:28- I quit.- Really?
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Yeah, I wasn't having fun.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33And I would have realised it a lot sooner
0:23:33 > 0:23:35if I'd listened to your sister.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39Can we talk about this later, ladies? We need to focus here, OK?
0:23:39 > 0:23:43Roy, is there something you'd like to say to your father?
0:23:44 > 0:23:47- HE SIGHS - I hate snooker.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51- What? Why?- It's no fun.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56- He doesn't want to play any more, Bill.- But what about the match?
0:23:56 > 0:24:01- It's the final frame! - Look at him. He's miserable.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04And he's having nightmares.
0:24:04 > 0:24:08Do you really want him doing something that makes him unhappy?
0:24:08 > 0:24:10No, no. No, of course not.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13I'm really sorry, Dad.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Don't you apologise, son. It's all my fault.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18You sit down, there.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21I'll sort everything out, then we'll head home.
0:24:27 > 0:24:34- Forfeit? What do you mean, forfeit? - It means it's over. You won.
0:24:34 > 0:24:39- Congratulations.- Tubbs O'Brien. Loser and a coward.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Let's go.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Can you believe this? They're giving up!
0:24:46 > 0:24:50Don't even have the guts to take their beating like men.
0:24:51 > 0:24:56- All right then, let's finish the game.- Roy?- I'll be back in a minute.
0:24:56 > 0:25:01- Big mistake, O'Brien! You're going to regret this.- Yeah, right!
0:25:01 > 0:25:04- Can I break?- In your own time, O'Brien.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13THEY CLAP
0:25:19 > 0:25:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:42 > 0:25:46Slow down, Roy. You're going to give me a heart attack!
0:25:52 > 0:25:54He's a snooker machine.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:16 > 0:26:18HE SOBS
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Now we can go home.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Clive!
0:26:29 > 0:26:33- Maura.- Wait a minute, you two know each other?
0:26:33 > 0:26:37- When we were young, Clive asked me out.- And you said no?
0:26:38 > 0:26:41I had my eye on someone else.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44Ah, well, that's how it goes, Tornado.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47You got snooker, I got the girl.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50See you! THEY CLAP
0:27:00 > 0:27:03Maybe if I hadn't made you work so hard and hate the game,
0:27:03 > 0:27:05you could have been world champion.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08- CUE SNAPS - Ow, you...
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Don't worry, Da.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13I bet there's hundreds of other sports I'm great at.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26Harriet, nice to see you again. HARRIET COUGHS
0:27:26 > 0:27:29- Kisses!- Becky! BECKY MAKES SMOOCHY NOISES