0:00:04 > 0:00:06'This is the story of Roy O'Brien.
0:00:06 > 0:00:09'He lives in an ordinary house, on an ordinary street.
0:00:09 > 0:00:13'The only trouble is, he doesn't LOOK very ordinary.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15'All Roy really wants is to fit in.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17'But it's very hard to stay out of trouble
0:00:17 > 0:00:19'when you're a cartoon!'
0:00:19 > 0:00:22Ro-o-oy!
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Ro-o-oy!
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Roy!
0:00:35 > 0:00:38ROY!
0:00:38 > 0:00:40He-he!
0:00:40 > 0:00:42'It's a peaceful night in Sandyford,
0:00:42 > 0:00:47'but it's anything but rosy in the O'Brien household.'
0:00:48 > 0:00:51RAISED VOICES ARGUE
0:00:51 > 0:00:52Ma and Da have been arguing for...
0:00:55 > 0:00:56..eight nights now...
0:00:58 > 0:01:00..and I think it's all because of me.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04I got in a bit of trouble recently in school,
0:01:04 > 0:01:06but I don't think that was my fault.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12My homework?
0:01:13 > 0:01:16Aw, I think I left it in Mr Lucey's class.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Well, what are you waiting for, Roy?
0:01:19 > 0:01:21GO AND GET IT!
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Way ahead of you, sir.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40BANG! CRASH!
0:01:40 > 0:01:41- SLAP! - Ah!
0:01:41 > 0:01:42LAUGHTER
0:01:42 > 0:01:44ALARM RINGS
0:01:44 > 0:01:46RO-OOOY!
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Why did you set it off, son?
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Was there an exam you were trying to get out of?
0:01:54 > 0:01:56It was an accident!
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Bill, this isn't funny.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Every time I get called up to this school
0:02:01 > 0:02:04because of one of Roy's escapades, I have to get time off work.
0:02:04 > 0:02:05Which is a good thing.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Bill, will you be serious?
0:02:09 > 0:02:11We... We will see you now.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Once again, your cartoon antics have got you in trouble.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18- ASSISTANT: Take a seat.- Derek.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19Mr O'Brien.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Excuse us.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32SHOUTING
0:02:32 > 0:02:33Ever since that day,
0:02:33 > 0:02:36Ma and Da have been heading out in the evenings
0:02:36 > 0:02:37and when they come back,
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- after me and Becky have gone to bed...- I never asked to...
0:02:40 > 0:02:42..the fighting starts.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44- I was never in trouble with the police, not me.- But watch this.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48- I'm a good girl...- Sh!- ..I am!
0:02:48 > 0:02:49Ah, yeah, no, no, no.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52I was just saying, Maura, that that article is brilliant.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55- You should read that when I'm finished.- Upside down.
0:02:55 > 0:02:56How are you, son, you all right?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58What's going on?
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- Wha-wha-what do you mean, what's going on?- Are you arguing?
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- What arguing?- We're not arguing. - No!
0:03:04 > 0:03:06- Never!- No!- Now go on up to bed.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Becky, can we talk?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Becky! Can we talk?
0:03:21 > 0:03:22What is it?
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Can you not hear them fighting?
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Who?
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Our parents, of course.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31What are you talking about? You must be hearing things.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Is she right?
0:03:37 > 0:03:38Am I hearing things?
0:03:38 > 0:03:40POP MUSIC PLAYS THROUGH EARPHONES
0:03:42 > 0:03:44MUM SHOUTS: No, I don't want no gold and no diamonds!
0:03:44 > 0:03:48Please let there be something wrong with my hearing.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49OK, guys.
0:03:49 > 0:03:50Go.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52CRUNCHING
0:03:52 > 0:03:53Eating a crisp.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55What flavour crisp?
0:03:55 > 0:03:56Cheese and onion.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Correct.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02THUMP
0:04:02 > 0:04:03Bouncing a basketball.
0:04:03 > 0:04:04Correct.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08BOOMING
0:04:08 > 0:04:11- Niall banging on the bodhran! - Excellent!
0:04:12 > 0:04:15FAINT TAP
0:04:15 > 0:04:16A pin dropping!
0:04:16 > 0:04:18That's amazing!
0:04:22 > 0:04:26There's definitely nothing wrong with your hearing, Roy.
0:04:26 > 0:04:27Why would Becky say that?
0:04:27 > 0:04:29MR HAMMOND: What's going on?!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31What's with all this bodhran banging?!
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Off to class with the lot of you!
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Roy, a word, please.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Yes, sir.
0:04:38 > 0:04:39How...
0:04:39 > 0:04:41are your parents doing, Roy?
0:04:41 > 0:04:44My parents?
0:04:44 > 0:04:46I'm afraid...
0:04:46 > 0:04:47it just isn't working.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50What?
0:04:50 > 0:04:51Honestly?
0:04:51 > 0:04:53I think it's your father's fault.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54Sir?!
0:04:56 > 0:04:58All right, it won't be long before everyone in town
0:04:58 > 0:05:01will be talking about them.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04That's what happens with these things, Roy.
0:05:10 > 0:05:17Thunderstorms result from the rapid upward movement of warm, moist air.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Now, some younger children can be afraid of thunder.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21THUNDER RUMBLES AND CRASHES
0:05:21 > 0:05:23HE YELPS
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Sorry, sir, that was me.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28That's OK, Roy.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Just, er, caught me unawares, there.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Doofus, sitting near a radiator.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Thunderstorms happen in warm, moist air masses.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42Oh, very, very good, Deco, yep.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Wouldn't there also be lightning?
0:05:46 > 0:05:50- LIGHTNING CRASHES - Ai, oh! Oh!
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Oh, ho, ho!
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Ah...
0:05:54 > 0:05:56That wasn't quite part of my teacher trai...
0:05:56 > 0:05:59LIGHTNING SPARKS AND CLASS GASPS
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Er...
0:06:01 > 0:06:02Th-th-th...
0:06:02 > 0:06:07Well, that's as good a place as any to stop for the day.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09I'll...
0:06:09 > 0:06:11..see you tomorrow. Nng-ng-ng.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14BUZZING AND SPARKING You OK, Roy?
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Abby, can I talk to you?
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Sure.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21In private.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29Roy, I can't help you if you don't tell me what your problem is.
0:06:32 > 0:06:33Is it about your breath?
0:06:33 > 0:06:35No! What's wrong with my breath!
0:06:35 > 0:06:38It smells like cheese and onion crisps.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41HE BREATHES AND SNIFFS
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Yeah, you're right!
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Mmm...
0:06:45 > 0:06:47crisps.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51No, it's not about my breath.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Well, why are you asking me?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54It's about my parents.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Why?
0:06:56 > 0:06:59- Do you think your parents are splitting up?- Don't say that!
0:06:59 > 0:07:01They've been fighting a lot.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Ah, sorry, Roy.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06But that doesn't mean anything, right?
0:07:06 > 0:07:07I dunno.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Have they started acting weird?
0:07:09 > 0:07:11No more than usual.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Well, just beware if a "family meeting" is ever called.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16It's almost always bad news.
0:07:16 > 0:07:17I see.
0:07:20 > 0:07:21My parents argued for years.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Yours aren't like that, are they?
0:07:23 > 0:07:24No,
0:07:24 > 0:07:27but they have been arguing for nine nights now.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Nine nights!
0:07:29 > 0:07:31That's nothing. I'm sure it will be OK.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Thanks, Abby.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42HEATED CONVERSATION
0:07:43 > 0:07:46Ah, hi, Ma. Hi, Da. Come on in.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48- Hiya, Da.- Hello, love.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52They're in here. Look who's come to babysit, lads.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54- Hello, kids.- Hi, kids.
0:07:54 > 0:07:55BECKY: Hi, Grandad, hi, Granny.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58- How are you, folks?- Ooh!
0:07:58 > 0:07:59- Da, what are you wearing?- What?
0:08:01 > 0:08:03- I think you look very swish. - Thank you, Rose.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- I was going for swanky but that will do.- What?
0:08:06 > 0:08:08'Have they started acting weird?'
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Where are you going? A fancy restaurant?
0:08:10 > 0:08:11With him? Not likely.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13BECKY: What are you doing? MUM: Never you mind.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15DAD: We'll be back by eight o'clock.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17And we are going to have that family meeting then.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19- Oh, yeah, see you later. - Bye!
0:08:19 > 0:08:22'And beware if a family meeting is ever called.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24'It's almost always bad news.'
0:08:25 > 0:08:27We need to talk.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Running around.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35- Not a care in the world.- Yeah.
0:08:36 > 0:08:37You say it.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39No. You say it.
0:08:39 > 0:08:40They're hiding something!
0:08:40 > 0:08:42And that something is that they're going to separate!
0:08:42 > 0:08:45- There could be another explanation. - Like what?
0:08:46 > 0:08:49There is no other explanation!
0:08:49 > 0:08:51You spend your life being wrong about things.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Please don't be right about this!
0:08:53 > 0:08:55You agree?!
0:08:55 > 0:08:57- Oh, no! - HIS TEETH CHATTER
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Why do couples fight?
0:08:59 > 0:09:01- I don't know, lots of reasons. - Think!
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Sometimes, when people start going out,
0:09:06 > 0:09:10it's all fun and then after a week it gets really dull and boring.
0:09:11 > 0:09:12PING!
0:09:12 > 0:09:14That's it!
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Maybe they've just forgotten why they fell in love.
0:09:23 > 0:09:24OK.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27We just have to remind them
0:09:27 > 0:09:29and then everything's going to be OK.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Easy peasy. Let's do this!
0:09:36 > 0:09:37DO IT AGAIN!
0:09:37 > 0:09:41We'll will keep doing it until you get it right.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46My dear, you...
0:09:46 > 0:09:50My dear, you sound like a drowning sewer rat,
0:09:50 > 0:09:55strangling the English language, with all your flat Ts and...and...
0:09:55 > 0:09:58- Er, what's the line? - Oh, for goodness' sake!
0:09:58 > 0:10:00No, no, no, no!
0:10:01 > 0:10:03We open tomorrow night!
0:10:03 > 0:10:05You don't even know your lines, man!
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Well, you know what, there's just so many of them!
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Look, this-this just isn't working.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16- Bill. Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill...- Yes, Derek.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21I have a new part for your unique talents.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25What is it?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27It's...a tree.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Now, it's not just any ordinary tree.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32It's a horse chestnut tree.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Well, listen, if it's a horse chestnut... I'm not play a tree!
0:10:35 > 0:10:37Well, it's either that or nothing
0:10:37 > 0:10:40because I'm not having ruining my play with your wooden acting.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42- Well, if that's the choice, Derek, I quit!- Fine!
0:10:42 > 0:10:45- Maura, come on.- No!
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- Without Bill, there's no play. - Thank you.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51- Not necessarily. - Well, who will play Henry Higgins?
0:10:53 > 0:10:54I will.
0:10:56 > 0:10:57I WILL!
0:10:57 > 0:11:00ALL: You?!
0:11:01 > 0:11:04SMOKE ALARM BEEPS
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- Oh, no!- Roy, you told me you did home ec!
0:11:07 > 0:11:09I never said I was any good at it!
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Ma and Da will be home soon!
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Help!
0:11:20 > 0:11:22- Ah, there you are. - What's going on here?
0:11:22 > 0:11:26- Your children have planned a very special evening.- Enjoy!
0:11:26 > 0:11:30Aw, thanks, love. Thanks for looking after them, Da.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32- Not at all, love.- Thanks, Petey. - Good luck, son.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34- God bless, see you son. - Aw, Bill, look!
0:11:34 > 0:11:37The menu from "Get Stuffed", where we got engaged.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Awwww.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41You guys...
0:11:41 > 0:11:42Table for two?
0:11:42 > 0:11:45- Oh, merci beaucoup. - Thanks son, good man.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47- Aww! - That's great.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50We know what's been going on recently.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52You do?
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Yeah, Da, you're not very good at keeping it a secret.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59Well, I guess this means we can cancel our family meeting.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02We were going to come clean tonight but there's no need.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05We're not going through with it. It's in the past.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Allow me.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Roy... ALL: Roy!
0:12:12 > 0:12:13Sorry!
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Come on, before you do any more damage.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19The food will be right up.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21- Lovely, thanks. - Thank you.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27I'm still going to do it. The play.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29And what about some loyalty towards your husband?
0:12:29 > 0:12:32- Stop it, it's just a bit of fun. - Not to me it's not!
0:12:32 > 0:12:34You didn't want to be in the play in the first place.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Now you've had your wish, Bill.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39MUFFLED RAISED VOICES
0:12:39 > 0:12:41CLANG!
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Roy, you eejit!
0:12:43 > 0:12:45They're fighting again! Listen!
0:12:47 > 0:12:49It's the story of our lives, Bill.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51THEY ARGUE
0:12:51 > 0:12:54I'm sorry that I got involved in it at all!
0:12:54 > 0:12:55You know what, Bill? You and me both!
0:12:55 > 0:12:58- Yeah, well then there's two of us in it.- Oh, is there?
0:12:58 > 0:13:00For once in your life, there's two of us in it.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02I'm glad. I'm very glad.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Get stuffed, Bill.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09So much for a romantic evening.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Maybe it will be OK in the morning.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Could happen.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Da?
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Morning, son.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Did you sleep down here?
0:13:31 > 0:13:32Ah, your Ma was snoring again.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34No, I was not, Roy.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Aw, stop fighting!
0:13:36 > 0:13:38- Where are you going?- School!
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Aw, Roy...
0:13:44 > 0:13:47He's right, you know.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Look, if you want to go and do the play,
0:13:49 > 0:13:52you go and do it, OK? I may have overreacted.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Aw, thanks.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57It would be a waste after all my hard work.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59And you're very good up there, by the way.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Thanks.
0:14:01 > 0:14:02Come on.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Oh, where are we going?
0:14:04 > 0:14:08- I've made you a tree costume. - I'm not going to be a tree.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10- I told you.- OK.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13- What about a bush?- Go on, you go on and do your practising.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16- Or a grassy stump?- Go!
0:14:16 > 0:14:17Bye-bye!
0:14:28 > 0:14:29You OK, Roy?
0:14:29 > 0:14:31- It got worse.- Your parents fighting?
0:14:33 > 0:14:37I didn't tell Becky, but I saw my ma here yesterday.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38Maybe it's my fault.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Stop that right now!
0:14:40 > 0:14:43When my parents split up, my sister and I blamed ourselves,
0:14:43 > 0:14:46but we shouldn't have. It's never, ever the kids' fault.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Even if you're a cartoon boy?
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Even if you're a cartoon boy.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55My parents were unhappy for years before they split up.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59Now things are much better and they get on very well together.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00That's good.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04So...why did your parents split up?
0:15:06 > 0:15:08This stays between us, right?
0:15:08 > 0:15:09Absolutely.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12My mum fell in love with someone else.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Really?
0:15:16 > 0:15:18What if the reason my parents are fighting
0:15:18 > 0:15:21is because my ma fell in love with someone else?
0:15:21 > 0:15:24'How...are your parents doing, Roy?'
0:15:27 > 0:15:30- You think your mum and Hammond are...- Roy!
0:15:32 > 0:15:33How is your mother?
0:15:33 > 0:15:36I'm going to buy her some flowers and I was just wondering
0:15:36 > 0:15:37if you knew what her favourites were.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41WOOSH!
0:15:44 > 0:15:47THEY SNORT AND GUFFAW
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Time for some homework.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02I've already done it!
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Well, then, I'll give you some more!
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Er, sir.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Yes, son?
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Can I go to the toilet, sir?
0:16:17 > 0:16:20"May I go to the toilet, Dad?"
0:16:22 > 0:16:24May I go to the toilet, Dad?
0:16:24 > 0:16:26LAUGHTER
0:16:26 > 0:16:30KIDS CHANT: Daddy's boy, daddy's boy!
0:16:33 > 0:16:35See you later, daddy's boy.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37What am I going to do?!
0:16:37 > 0:16:40You're going to have to talk to your parents about this.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Ah, Roy. The flowers?
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Agghhhh!
0:16:47 > 0:16:49What's up with him?
0:16:49 > 0:16:51I hope you're happy with yourself!
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Wha..?!
0:16:55 > 0:16:56What?!
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Hammond?! This is getting worse and worse.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01We have to talk to them.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03You go and text me what happens.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05- Come on!- I don't want to, Roy!
0:17:05 > 0:17:08If I hear them say it then it means it's true!
0:17:08 > 0:17:09Hey, guys.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12We need to talk.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Yeah, later, love, I have to go and get ready.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17- Off to see Mr Hammond? - Yeah, what's wrong with that?
0:17:17 > 0:17:20- And you're OK with this, Dad?- Hmm?
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Ah, well, I mean, I was upset at first,
0:17:22 > 0:17:24but now I've got used to it, you know?
0:17:24 > 0:17:27What's going on, Roy?!
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Ma, I don't want you to go.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31Can we just go back to the way things were before this happened?
0:17:31 > 0:17:33What's got into you, son?
0:17:33 > 0:17:35I don't want you to marry Hammond.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37THEY CHUCKLE
0:17:37 > 0:17:39"Marry Hammond"?
0:17:39 > 0:17:41What on Earth gave you that idea?
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Just give me another chance and I promise I'll be
0:17:43 > 0:17:46the best cartoon ever and I won't get into any trouble.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Me neither. I won't borrow your make-up
0:17:48 > 0:17:50and I won't delete your programmes from the digital box!
0:17:50 > 0:17:53We'll be on our best behaviour, if you promise not to break up.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56Look, you have nothing to worry... Hang on a second!
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- You've been deleting my programmes off the digital box!?- Bill!
0:17:59 > 0:18:03What on Earth gave you the idea that we were going to break up?
0:18:03 > 0:18:07You've been fighting ever since that time you were called into school.
0:18:07 > 0:18:08Yeah! Don't deny it.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10Me and Roy hear you when we go to bed.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13We weren't fighting. We were rehearsing.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17- For the play that's on tonight! - We thought you knew!
0:18:17 > 0:18:21- You mean you're not splitting up? - Never!- Never ever!
0:18:21 > 0:18:25- And you two monkeys are perfect just the way you are.- Right, come on.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Bring it in.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29Family hug. Come on, son.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31- Here you go, come on, Becky. - Just one.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33There you go, that's it.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Wait, why does Hammo want to buy you flowers?
0:18:37 > 0:18:39It's a tradition for a director
0:18:39 > 0:18:42to buy his leading lady flowers on opening night.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Which reminds me, I better get going.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48- Do you want me to help you get ready?- Yeah, thanks, love.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51- Shouldn't you be getting ready too, Da?- Hmm?
0:18:51 > 0:18:55- Oh, no, I'm not in it any more, son. No, no, I quit.- Why?
0:18:55 > 0:19:00- Er, creative differences. - Oh, so who's the leading man?
0:19:00 > 0:19:02- Mr Hammond.- I see.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Mr Hammond! Aw, grand(!)
0:19:05 > 0:19:08I thought this was a romantic play with kissing and all.
0:19:08 > 0:19:09It is. Why?
0:19:09 > 0:19:12So you mean Ma is going to be kissing Hammo on stage?
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Well, she won't be kissing him for real, she's only going to be acting.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16In front of everyone?
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Da! We can't let this happen! I'll never live it down!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21You're overreacting, son.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24But what if Hammond is using it as a chance to steal Ma away from you.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27She'd never choose him over me...
0:19:27 > 0:19:30- Would she? - We have to act and act fast.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33Right, what are we going to do?
0:19:33 > 0:19:34Act!
0:19:34 > 0:19:38I'm going to turn you into the best actor the world's ever seen!
0:19:38 > 0:19:39In a couple of hours?
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Or at least good enough to take the stage tonight.
0:19:44 > 0:19:45Happy!
0:19:45 > 0:19:48I've got it! I got the golden ticket!
0:19:48 > 0:19:49Mean.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52You are a toy! You are an action figure!
0:19:52 > 0:19:53Confused!
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Oh, I think that's too big to be a spaceship.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Er, devious!
0:19:59 > 0:20:01- MENACING VOICE:- Oh, my precious!
0:20:01 > 0:20:02Scared.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05- HIGH VOICE:- I don't think we're in Kansas any more.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Great! I think you're ready.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09Brilliant.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12That's great, thanks for that, son. Listen, one small thing,
0:20:12 > 0:20:15I probably should have mentioned it earlier, but, er...
0:20:15 > 0:20:16I don't know my lines.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19All right, there you go! That's a load off my mind.
0:20:19 > 0:20:20You what?!
0:20:20 > 0:20:23- Why didn't you say something?! - Well, I just did.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26- Earlier! - I forgot.- You forgot?!
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Right. Leave it with me.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31I'll think of something...
0:20:31 > 0:20:32You forgot...
0:20:32 > 0:20:34PING!
0:20:34 > 0:20:35I've got an idea.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38I'll meet you at the school at 19:00 hours.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Brilliant. See you at 9.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43- 7pm.- Hmm? Yeah, 7, OK.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46ROY GULPS
0:20:46 > 0:20:50Welcome to Operation Stop Hammo From Kissing My Ma
0:20:50 > 0:20:52or...
0:20:52 > 0:20:53OSHFKMM for short.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55OSHFKMM?
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Catchy.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01The plan is so simple.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03It's foolproof.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Step one - Tara and Abby,
0:21:05 > 0:21:08lock Mr Hammond in his office until the play is over.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11- BOTH: What?! - Why do we get the hard job?
0:21:11 > 0:21:14That's all right, we can do it. Come on, Abby.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Did you bring it?
0:21:21 > 0:21:24Microphone.
0:21:24 > 0:21:25Earpiece.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Enter!
0:21:30 > 0:21:31Hi, sir.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Hi, Mr Hammond!
0:21:33 > 0:21:36I'm very busy right now, girls. What is it?
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Are you nervous about the play tonight?
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Nervous?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Well, a few butterflies are good for one, I suppose.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45HE SNORTS
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Do you do any vocal exercises?
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Why, I hadn't really got around to them yet.
0:21:51 > 0:21:52I like, er,
0:21:52 > 0:21:54a few old tongue-twisters myself.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Tongue-twisters?
0:21:56 > 0:21:57Yes, you know,
0:21:57 > 0:21:59she sells sea shells on the sh-eashore
0:21:59 > 0:22:03but seashells sheshells-sheshells are sea shells no more.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06- Or another good one might be, erm... - SHE SNEEZES
0:22:06 > 0:22:07Bless you!
0:22:07 > 0:22:11Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Peter Piper picked a pippa pickle-pick-p-pepper.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Years of practice.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17- Well, good luck, Mr Hammond. - Break a leg!
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Ah...
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Thank you, girls!
0:22:23 > 0:22:24How nice.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Good job.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Thanks for all your help, everyone.
0:22:35 > 0:22:36Especially you.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39To think all of this could have been avoided
0:22:39 > 0:22:42if you looked at the notice board once in a while.
0:22:42 > 0:22:43That's true.
0:22:43 > 0:22:44DOOR HANDLE RATTLES
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Is anybody there! I've been locked in!
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Guys, you know what to do.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Roger that, Squiggles.
0:22:52 > 0:22:53Roger.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55Do you think Squiggles is the best code name?
0:22:55 > 0:22:58There's no time for that, the play is about to start.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00Come on!
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Hello, how are you?
0:23:17 > 0:23:20There's a lot of people out there.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Maybe Hammond should do this.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24I just spoke to Hammo, he wants you to do it.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Right.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28And how's this thing going to work?
0:23:28 > 0:23:29You put the earpiece in your ear
0:23:29 > 0:23:32and then I prompt you the lines throughout the play.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Genius!
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Bill? What are you doing backstage?
0:23:36 > 0:23:39Hammond gave me a second chance.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Aw, that's great, love! Where is Hammond?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Aw...you two up to something?
0:23:46 > 0:23:48I don't know what you're talking about.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50- SHOUTING:- That works great!
0:23:50 > 0:23:53- What works great?- Hmm?
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Your, er, your costume works great.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58IN COCKNEY ACCENT: Ah, well, thank you, sir.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Where is Hammond?
0:24:00 > 0:24:02He's watching the play with the audience.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Directors like to do that.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Right. Come on.
0:24:11 > 0:24:12Hi.
0:24:14 > 0:24:15- Ow!- Sorry.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17That was my foot!
0:24:17 > 0:24:18Ow!
0:24:18 > 0:24:20- That was my other foot!- Sorry.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Pickering, I wager
0:24:49 > 0:24:53I can get her to pass for a duchess at the ambassador's garden party.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Pickering, I wager
0:24:55 > 0:24:59I can get her to pass as a duchess at the ambassador's garden party.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02By Jove, I do believe I'll take that wager, Higgins.
0:25:02 > 0:25:08Oh, you're a terrible man, you are, making fun of a poor girl!
0:25:11 > 0:25:13ROY SPEAKS INTO DAD'S EARPIECE
0:25:13 > 0:25:16Confound it, if you don't... If you don't like this,
0:25:16 > 0:25:18then it's back to the streets with you!
0:25:18 > 0:25:20SHE SHRIEKS
0:25:36 > 0:25:40He's trying to find his key, will I tell Roy?
0:25:40 > 0:25:42I mean, Squiggles?
0:25:42 > 0:25:45He said not to disturb him, unless it's an emergency.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58You did it old boy! You actually did it!
0:26:03 > 0:26:06HE PANTS
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Aw!
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Code blue! Code blue!
0:26:15 > 0:26:16Oh, no! Code blue!
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Oh, no! Code blue!
0:26:18 > 0:26:20LOUDLY: Oh, Professor Higgins!
0:26:20 > 0:26:22ASIDE: Bill, what are you talking about?
0:26:22 > 0:26:25- Stop him!- Stop him!
0:26:25 > 0:26:26Argh!
0:26:28 > 0:26:29AUDIENCE GASPS
0:26:29 > 0:26:33BANGING AND CRASHING
0:26:36 > 0:26:38- AUDIENCE GASPS - I'm so sorry!
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Get off me, O'Brien!
0:26:40 > 0:26:42What's going on?!
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Give me a chance! I can explain!
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Give me a chance! I can explain!
0:26:46 > 0:26:49I just wanted to have a chance to make everything all right.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Oh, what are you talking about?
0:26:52 > 0:26:54- What is this? QUIETLY:- It was Roy's idea.
0:26:54 > 0:26:58I'm sorry, sir. I didn't want my ma to kiss you.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01I just wanted to see her kiss my da.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03That way I'll know everything's OK with them.
0:27:05 > 0:27:09You'll always be my leading man.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11You're in so much trouble O'Br...
0:27:11 > 0:27:15AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:27:15 > 0:27:16Sir?
0:27:16 > 0:27:19- Not now!- Come on, Mr Hammond! Come on!
0:27:19 > 0:27:20Your audience awaits you.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Our wonderful director...
0:27:22 > 0:27:24AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:27:24 > 0:27:27..Mr Derek Hammond!