0:00:02 > 0:00:05Guess who's got two tickets to the Wrestle Madness arena tour today?
0:00:05 > 0:00:08- Oh, my Gaga.- Coolio. I didn't think you'd want to come.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11I don't. I just saw that.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14Yowser. Nice, um, deckchair
0:00:14 > 0:00:16and...glass?
0:00:16 > 0:00:19Actually, it's a manacle.
0:00:19 > 0:00:23- Monocle?- What she said. And it's not a deckchair.
0:00:23 > 0:00:27- It's a director's chair. - So what are the cape and the cap?
0:00:27 > 0:00:29A cape and a cap. Dur!
0:00:29 > 0:00:33I, Kit Karter, am directing the Y's first theatre extravaganza!
0:00:33 > 0:00:37- APPLAUSE - Thank you, I know. Overdue, you say?
0:00:37 > 0:00:41You? You couldn't direct traffic. How did you get Ms V to agree to that?
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Dur! She thinks I'm a creative genius.
0:00:44 > 0:00:49OK, I told her there's moolah in theatres and we struck a deal.
0:00:49 > 0:00:50She gets 75% of the ticket profit,
0:00:50 > 0:00:55plus 75% of the remaining 25%, plus 10% commission.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58- That's not a deal, it's a stitch-up! - Bless you!
0:00:58 > 0:01:01I thought you wanted to be an actor, not a director?
0:01:01 > 0:01:05My acting coach says I'm wasting my time with stage,
0:01:05 > 0:01:08which means I need to take on a bigger role.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11So which big sparkling musical will you be directing?
0:01:11 > 0:01:14None. To make it as a director, you've got to go serious.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16That's why I'm tackling the Bard.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18William Shakespeare.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20BOTH: Awesome!
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Which one of his masterpieces will you be annihilating?
0:01:23 > 0:01:24All of them.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27It's called Two Gentlemen's Much Ado About Romeo And Juliet
0:01:27 > 0:01:30In A Midsummer Night's Tempest. It's all his hits.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Now 1600.
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Oh, despicable!
0:01:33 > 0:01:37As co-founder and president of the school Shakespeare society,
0:01:37 > 0:01:39I prohibit, nay ban, nay forbid...
0:01:39 > 0:01:43Oh, bored. Must dash, I'm meeting my cast.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Romeo, or should I say Taylor, needs directing.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49'OMLG, Taylor is playing Romeo?!'
0:01:49 > 0:01:52# When I see your face... #
0:01:52 > 0:01:57I have to play Juliet! I mean, I'm free for rehearsals.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00I thought you wanted to go to that Wrestle Madness?
0:02:00 > 0:02:04Er...no tickets left, drat! Can I have the part, please, please?
0:02:04 > 0:02:07Mucho apologies, I only have the back legs of the donkey left.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Theresa Babcock worked her socks off for the front.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Who's playing Juliet?
0:02:12 > 0:02:15I just know this is going to bring Tay-Tay and me back together.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18For ever. And ever.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19The end.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22I know I say this a lot, but...nooooooo!
0:02:22 > 0:02:27# Won't somebody tell me why I'm always surrounded by boys?
0:02:27 > 0:02:29# Give me a break
0:02:29 > 0:02:31# They've got attitude Kind of cute
0:02:31 > 0:02:34# But when they're in trouble It takes a girl
0:02:34 > 0:02:36# To save the day, to save the day
0:02:36 > 0:02:39# I'd love another girl Around the place
0:02:39 > 0:02:41# Could you be her?
0:02:41 > 0:02:43# Someone to back me up so I always
0:02:43 > 0:02:44# Have the last word
0:02:44 > 0:02:46# I guess it's hard To be the only girl
0:02:46 > 0:02:49# In a boys' world
0:02:49 > 0:02:51# Girl, girl
0:02:51 > 0:02:53# In a boys' world
0:02:53 > 0:02:56# I know I'm strong because I've got a positive
0:02:56 > 0:02:57# Mental attitude
0:02:57 > 0:03:00# Understanding, kind and sensitive
0:03:00 > 0:03:01# Don't want gratitude
0:03:01 > 0:03:04# I just don't wanna be The only girl
0:03:04 > 0:03:06# In a boys' world. #
0:03:06 > 0:03:10Please tell me you're happy cos we've had a cancellation, boss.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12I can't do any more overtime, I'm spent.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15- No need. We have an extra pair of hands helping today.- Whose hands?
0:03:15 > 0:03:18- Guilty!- This is Justin.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20He's a trainee mechanic at the local college.
0:03:20 > 0:03:25- I prefer automobile technician, actually, Mr Jenkins.- Gotcha, yes.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Anything to keep him happy.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30He's been here since six and he's free.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33What do you need a new trainee for? Aren't I enough?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39You're enough all right.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Hey, look, er...
0:03:44 > 0:03:46The thing is, I was...
0:03:46 > 0:03:52thinking...it's about time... you...had your own apprentice.
0:03:52 > 0:03:53- Seriously?- Yeah.
0:03:54 > 0:03:59- Wicked!- Well...- I've been wanting my own apprentice since I became one!
0:03:59 > 0:04:03That is, like, proper awesome, Steve. Cheers, big guy!
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Well, that's the sort of big guy I am, eh?
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Right. What shall I teach him first?
0:04:09 > 0:04:11You could start by sorting out the tracking.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Got it, no probs, done deal.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20Do you want to teach me how to sort the tracking on it first, boss?
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Oh, that I wear a glove upon that hand that I might touch that cheek.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Mind the bling, Taylor!
0:04:30 > 0:04:32She speaks!
0:04:32 > 0:04:35Dur, obvs! What's he think this is, a gerbil?
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Speak again, bright angel!
0:04:37 > 0:04:41O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou... Ow!
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Ow, I just had that big toe re-jewelled!
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Oh, this is a pile-up, I can't watch!
0:04:47 > 0:04:48I know, right!
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Luckily, I have a plan to get rid of the tiny-brained one -
0:04:51 > 0:04:52Ashlii.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56I will play Juliet. Make no mistake.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59OK, so, the good news is, the Juliet balcony's arrived.
0:04:59 > 0:05:03The bad news is Ashlii hasn't had the health and safety briefing
0:05:03 > 0:05:04on how to use it.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Unlike myself.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09That's fine. She can wear this till she does.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15Quelle emergency?
0:05:15 > 0:05:18It's this! I'm pretty sure the purists
0:05:18 > 0:05:22won't mind too much you giving Richard III a freestyle jazz number,
0:05:22 > 0:05:26but I think they'll kick up a fuss about the Juliet oversight.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27- Oversight?- Ye-huh.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Didn't you read the description?
0:05:29 > 0:05:31It says here,
0:05:31 > 0:05:35"Juliet must be played by a blonde girl in pigtails and dungarees."
0:05:38 > 0:05:42Mon cherie! It's the theatre.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46That's why we have wigs and costumes.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Which reminds me. Your hind legs just came in.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Aren't they divine? Ciao!
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Huh. Right!
0:05:53 > 0:05:57That's it. I'm officially up the creek without a paddle.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Unless...
0:05:59 > 0:06:03I somehow find a way of getting Ashlii into a canoe,
0:06:03 > 0:06:06then taking away her paddle. Could that work?
0:06:06 > 0:06:07No! You're as bad as Kit.
0:06:07 > 0:06:12Between you, you'll totally ruin the story of the star-crossed lovers.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15What makes you think you'd be any better than Ashlii as Juliet?
0:06:15 > 0:06:19- Deeds, you're supposed to be on my side!- I'm on the Bard's side.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23In fact, I refuse to put up with this desecration of his work
0:06:23 > 0:06:26any longer. I'm going to get this production stopped.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Ow!
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Skullcrusher II. Let the skull-crushing commence!
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- Yes!- No.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Don't ask me what's wrong.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42I'm too upset to talk about it.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43OK.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49OK, fine, I'll tell you what's wrong.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53Luke, my dancing partner, blew me out for a footy match.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55We're supposed to do the amateur dance
0:06:55 > 0:06:57for the Strictly Come Dancing tour on Friday.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00I'll never find someone to dance with me now.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Why don't boys like Strictly?!
0:07:03 > 0:07:05BOTH: What? We do!
0:07:05 > 0:07:09- 'Sorry, Len, but that was a...' - ALL: Disaster!
0:07:09 > 0:07:11When do you want me to start rehearsing?
0:07:11 > 0:07:13You?! I don't think so!
0:07:13 > 0:07:17She likes me, so I get to be her dance partner.
0:07:17 > 0:07:18Right, Imogen?
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Dream on. I'm not about to mess up in front of Alesha Dixon,
0:07:21 > 0:07:23just because I like you.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27Only the best hip-shaker gets to take me to the glitter ball.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31The show's in two days. Better start brushing up your dance moves, boys.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Top score gets the gig.
0:07:33 > 0:07:39THEME FROM STRICTLY COME DANCING PLAYS
0:07:46 > 0:07:49# Baby, we're just friends What are you saying? #
0:07:49 > 0:07:51What is it with these witches?
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Have they never done a box step to Bieber before?
0:07:54 > 0:07:56HOOTER
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Good news, my lord. My old mucker and theatre stalwart,
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Madame De Groot, will be gracing us with presence at your performance.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Oo-arr.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09Look, Ms V, I know you want to feel part of the play,
0:08:09 > 0:08:11but your ye olde accent is seriously pants.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Fine!
0:08:13 > 0:08:17All I wanted to say was that my close friend and theatre critic,
0:08:17 > 0:08:20Irma De Groot, will be watching your little performance.
0:08:20 > 0:08:21OMLG!
0:08:21 > 0:08:25Do you mean that Irma De Groot, the renowned Twitterererer?
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- Yes.- Argh!
0:08:27 > 0:08:32She killed Phil Mitchell The Musical before she even left the theatre.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Then your play had better be good.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38A positive review can have a massive effect on the shnoodles on seats.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Talking of which, we have not sold nearly enough tickets.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44I hope you have not been lying to me
0:08:44 > 0:08:48about popularity of this diner theatre, Kitty-Kat.
0:08:48 > 0:08:49TOOT!
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Kit! This donkey costume is seriously doing my head in.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57- What's going on?- Irma De Groot!
0:08:57 > 0:09:00One wrong word from her and my directing career is over.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03O-V-U-H! Before it began!
0:09:03 > 0:09:07I can't afford to have amateurs on stage, with her in the audience.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13This is one major-tastic problem!
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Problem? He wants to try dressing as a donkey butt,
0:09:16 > 0:09:20when what you want is to play Juliet opposite a boy you totally dig,
0:09:20 > 0:09:22but has no idea you exist.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26- Why can't someone throw me a bone?! - Could someone run lines with me?
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Ashlii's having her big toe be-jewelled. Again.
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Thank you!
0:09:29 > 0:09:31I'll do it.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Bless you, Sass!
0:09:33 > 0:09:36I need to go collect my fort.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42You're in early.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46- Got to be, ain't I? Now I'm the boss. - Technically, I am still...
0:09:46 > 0:09:50Check it out! It's my list of dos and don'ts for my apprentice.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52I'm well impressed.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55I never realised you had such a wealth of experience
0:09:55 > 0:09:57when it came to...
0:09:57 > 0:10:01- making tea.- Yeah, well, it's not so much about mechanics.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02It's about working here.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06Anyone can change a tyre or fix a blown gasket.
0:10:06 > 0:10:07Really? I thought you hadn't...
0:10:07 > 0:10:10But it takes a really skilled member of staff to know
0:10:10 > 0:10:14not to over-fill the kettle or you'll scorch your pinkie.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18And to give Steve an extra biscuit in the morning, or he'll get grumpy.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21- I do not!- I think you do, Mr Jenkins.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Morning, Keith.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Two for me, three for you.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27- Ah.- How do you know that?
0:10:27 > 0:10:28Fast learner!
0:10:28 > 0:10:32It also helps if you give him a soupcon of extra sugar in his tea
0:10:32 > 0:10:34and bring him the newspaper.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Ah, well, that's where you're wrong.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Roger mauls it in the morning, so it's practically unreadable.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Not if you pop to the newsagent the previous evening
0:10:42 > 0:10:44and give him a stack of zip-lock bags to keep it tidy.
0:10:46 > 0:10:50Ah! What's he like, eh? All of this, and he's sorted out
0:10:50 > 0:10:52the backlog of work this morning.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Then he started cold-calling customers to drum up trade.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59I prefer the phrase "telecommunication marketing".
0:10:59 > 0:11:02Ah, he-he! He can call it what he likes as long as it works.
0:11:02 > 0:11:03Yeah, whatever.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08I'll go and make my own tea, shall I?
0:11:08 > 0:11:12Don't over-fill it, or you'll scorch your pinkie.
0:11:12 > 0:11:13HE CHUCKLES
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Ahem! "Dear Mr Kit Karter,
0:11:23 > 0:11:27"On behalf of all 14 members of the school Shakespeare society,
0:11:27 > 0:11:30"we're writing to inform you that we are in the process
0:11:30 > 0:11:32"of petitioning the Globe Theatre, London,
0:11:32 > 0:11:37"to halt your ongoing creative crimes against the Bard and his work...".
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Talk to the manacle, cos the cap ain't listening.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42It's a MONOCLE, you muppet!
0:11:42 > 0:11:44What you don't understand is that...
0:11:44 > 0:11:45Oh, me.
0:11:45 > 0:11:49She speaks! Oh, speak again, bright angel,
0:11:49 > 0:11:52for thou art as glorious as night being o'er my head.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo?
0:11:55 > 0:11:58Deny thy father and refuse thy name
0:11:58 > 0:12:00or, if thou wilt not,
0:12:00 > 0:12:04be but sworn, my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08I know, I know. Don't say it.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10I got a lot of work to do.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13- It wasn't that bad, was it?- Bad?
0:12:13 > 0:12:15It was perfect!
0:12:15 > 0:12:17You and him and...
0:12:17 > 0:12:19You were born to play Romeo and Juliet!
0:12:19 > 0:12:22- But you said...- I was wrong, I admit! And I never admit it.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25When Ashlii and Taylor read it, it was dead,
0:12:25 > 0:12:27but with you two, it came from the heart.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30- Seriously?- Yes! You two belong on stage.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33You have to do something to get rid of Ashlii as Juliet!
0:12:33 > 0:12:37Put your back into it, Babcock! Not that way, that way!
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- If you don't, I'll take her down myself!- Argh!
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Oww!
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Owww!
0:12:44 > 0:12:48I know how that looks, but that was not intentional, I swear.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52Oh, my Gaga! Our beautiful Juliet is down. She can't perform like this!
0:12:52 > 0:12:55We need a talented actress to replace her, right now.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57- Or someone who knows all her lines. - I do!
0:12:57 > 0:12:59- You've got the gig.- Yes!
0:12:59 > 0:13:02BOTH: Go, Sassy, go, Sassy, go, Sassy!
0:13:02 > 0:13:04- Taylor, I'm demoting you to donkey's hind legs.- Why?
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Being so new to this art.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10You need a seasoned entertainer by your side.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14Namely, moi, Kit Karter's officially come out of acting retirement.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16You can't.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20Why, how hard can it be to direct myself? Hand, move, see.
0:13:22 > 0:13:26# There's a fire starting in my heart
0:13:26 > 0:13:29# Reaching a fever pitch
0:13:29 > 0:13:32# It's bringing me out the dark
0:13:32 > 0:13:35# See how I'll leave With every piece of you
0:13:35 > 0:13:38# Don't underestimate... #
0:13:38 > 0:13:41No. Oh. If we're going to be ready
0:13:41 > 0:13:43for the Strictly audition on Friday we need proper help.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46If only we knew someone as twinkle-toed as Bruno Tonioli.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48As versatile as Len Goodman.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52And as strictly flamboyant as a young Craig Revel Horwood.
0:13:54 > 0:13:55BOTH: Kit!
0:13:55 > 0:13:58If you teach me to dance I'll give you all my pocket money
0:13:58 > 0:13:59for a whole month.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01If you teach me how to dance
0:14:01 > 0:14:04I'll give you all my pocket money for two weeks.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07- Aren't you supposed to up the offer? - I get a lot more pocket money.
0:14:07 > 0:14:12Boys, save your pennies. I don't have time to teach you anything.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16I'm directing, producing and starring and rewriting a Shakespeare play.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Man, did he need spell check.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21So how are we going to learn to dance?
0:14:21 > 0:14:27Aren't you two forgetting you've got a tidy little mover closer to home?
0:14:30 > 0:14:32# Night fever, night fever
0:14:32 > 0:14:35# We know how to do it,
0:14:37 > 0:14:40# Gimme that night fever, night fever. #
0:14:40 > 0:14:41BOTH: Of course, Keith!
0:14:48 > 0:14:52OK, so we are agreed. Now that Taylor is the back of the donkey,
0:14:52 > 0:14:54I have to be the front.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Which means operation boot-up Babcock is a go-go. Yes?
0:14:57 > 0:15:00I vowed to protect Shakespeare's legacy where I see it under threat.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03Any way we can get you and Taylor playing opposite one another
0:15:03 > 0:15:05works for me because it works for the play.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07A simple yes would have been fine.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Hey, Theresa, how would you like to swap roles with Sadie?
0:15:13 > 0:15:16She'd love to, wouldn't you? I mean Juliet, donkey's head, no contest.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19No thanks, I've been working on my character motivation for weeks.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22Even slept in a stable to, you know, get the feeling right.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Man, she really wants this.
0:15:24 > 0:15:28And besides Taylor Bell's my hind legs and he's all types of hot.
0:15:28 > 0:15:33Don't you get it? Sadie and Taylor are perfect together!
0:15:33 > 0:15:35We've all had to make sacrifices here.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38I had to tell the Shakespeare Society I was on board
0:15:38 > 0:15:41with a production that had Lady Macbeth clubbing in Faliraki.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Oh, come on, Babcock, please.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Leave it, Sass, we tried, OK.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52If you don't do this, I'll make sure every nerd in the school
0:15:52 > 0:15:54knows that you couldn't spell the word oscilloscope,
0:15:54 > 0:15:57that's why you only got 99% in your physics test.
0:15:57 > 0:16:01- Not because you ran out of time. - That was meant to be our secret.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Not any more. I don't want to do this, Theresa,
0:16:03 > 0:16:06but my dedication to the Bard is forcing my hand.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09Fine, take the part but you'll have to find someone else to be Juliet.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12I could never get the back story right in time
0:16:12 > 0:16:14and method acting is everything to me.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20She's a maths major, attention to detail is everything to her.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Sadie and Taylor are perfect together.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Not on my turf.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35So any luck with the potential Juliets?
0:16:35 > 0:16:40I'm down to two, Ms V and you.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Oh, I never thought I'd say this
0:16:43 > 0:16:46but the Bard actually had it easy compared to Kit.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48He could even get guys to play women.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Deeds, you're a genius.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Thank you so much, Sass, you are totally right that you were
0:16:53 > 0:16:55totally wrong to play the part of Juliet.
0:16:55 > 0:17:00Playing both the lovers is going to be my greatest acting challenge yet.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Irma de Groot is going to think she has died and gone to theatre heaven.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11- Like taking candy from a baby.- Yes.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Now all you need to do is break the good news to Taylor.
0:17:13 > 0:17:170K, Taylor, I think it's time we had, the chat.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19The chat?
0:17:19 > 0:17:21- About getting back together. - You dumped me.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Duh, we all make mistakes.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Yesterday I actually bought green with pink,
0:17:26 > 0:17:27but being a semi-style icon
0:17:27 > 0:17:30I could just about pull it off. Obvs.
0:17:30 > 0:17:31So, we're back on, yeah?
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Er, I don't think so.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38In that case, please accept this as a goodbye present.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Oh, thanks, what is it?
0:17:40 > 0:17:42The dos and don'ts of acting, dummy.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45You're on stage in less than 24 hours and, believe me,
0:17:45 > 0:17:46you need all the help you can get.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50- Look, it's full of amazing tips. - Oh, really?
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Oh, yeah, like it says here, under no circumstances must you talk to,
0:17:53 > 0:17:56or even look at, your fellow cast members on the day of the show.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58- Why not?- Bad luck, apparently,
0:17:58 > 0:18:01like saying "Macbeth" instead of "the Scottish play."
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Ooops, sorry.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- I mean, you don't want to wreck the show, do you?- No.
0:18:06 > 0:18:11In that case you better ignore everyone, and I mean everyone.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Hit it. Now prepare to be amazed.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20To watch in wonder as the Keith Meister...
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Just get on with it.
0:18:28 > 0:18:32# So I said, what....#
0:18:32 > 0:18:35- What, too much for you?- No.
0:18:35 > 0:18:39- I thought you said you could dance? You go to enough clubs.- Yeah.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42And that's what I do there. That's what everyone does.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Not everyone.
0:18:45 > 0:18:46Music maestro?
0:18:47 > 0:18:51FAST MUSIC PLAYS
0:19:04 > 0:19:05BOTH: Wow!
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Practice makes perfect, boys.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09There's no secret, you need the right partner.
0:19:09 > 0:19:10Is there anything you can't do?
0:19:10 > 0:19:15Well, I'm not that hot with the ladies.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Kidding, I'm on fire.
0:19:21 > 0:19:25Taylor, Taylor, have you seen Taylor Bell?
0:19:25 > 0:19:27He's about yay high, totally delicious
0:19:29 > 0:19:32- Taylor, I bring good news. - Don't talk to me.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35What's up with him?
0:19:35 > 0:19:39Oh, I wish he wouldn't be like that, it's so not nice.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41How are you supposed to know he asked me to go back out with him?
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- He what?- Yeah, it's awesome innit?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47But, just because he's made his choice,
0:19:47 > 0:19:51and it's not you, that's no excuse for being so horrific.
0:19:51 > 0:19:56I mean he might think you're a loser, desperado, nonentity.
0:19:56 > 0:19:57He said that?
0:19:57 > 0:19:59That was the edited version.
0:20:05 > 0:20:10- But I don't understand?- What's not understand, he hates me.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11As if.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13There must be some kind of mistake.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Yes, listening to you was a big mistake,
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- huge, mammoth, megamongus.- Me?
0:20:19 > 0:20:20Yeah, you started all this.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23You said we'd make a perfect star-crossed lovers.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25I thought you meant in real life but
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- you were just talking about your stupid play.- That's not true.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation
0:20:30 > 0:20:32why Taylor's blanking you.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34This happens in the Bard's plays all the time.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36The third act mix up.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Then something happens to resolve it
0:20:38 > 0:20:40and they all live happily ever after.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Unless it's Hamlet. Or Macbeth.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47Dede, get a grip, this is my life and you've messed it up.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49That's not true, I know I'm right about this
0:20:49 > 0:20:51just give me a chance to prove it.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54No. Give Theresa Babcock her donkey leggings back.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57There is no way I am getting in to that costume with Taylor Bell.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59End of.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Then I'll take Taylor's place
0:21:01 > 0:21:04and we can go in it together as sisters and comrades.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06- Fine, whatever.- OK, see you.
0:21:09 > 0:21:14- Steve, I need a word.- Oh. That's a word.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18It's Justin, my apprentice, I'm thinking of letting him go.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22- Hold on, I'm his apprentice? - No, er yes, it's a long story.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26Look, the point is, I think he's done all he can do here.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Yeah, he has, quite literally.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31He's done all the MOTs, every single wheel replacement,
0:21:31 > 0:21:35the cracked screens, oil changes and the entire backlog of panel beating.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37I'd prefer the term chassis pummelling.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40- I don't see what the problem is, he's brilliant.- That is the problem.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42He's so good at everything he makes me feel useless.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Oh, don't be daft, you're not...
0:21:45 > 0:21:47I mean, he can't be good at everything.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50Almost everything.
0:21:50 > 0:21:56Look, I think we've found our third amigo here, the third musketeer,
0:21:56 > 0:21:59I can see Justin having a long and successful career here at Mr Motors.
0:22:01 > 0:22:02Hey, and you as well, mate.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06Who knows, in 10 years time you two could be running this place.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10I could buy you matching overalls and give you keys to the garage.
0:22:10 > 0:22:11And put your name on the sign,
0:22:11 > 0:22:15"Steve, Keith and Justin's Mr Motors."
0:22:15 > 0:22:20Actually, Mr Jenkins, I've got slightly bigger aspirations.
0:22:20 > 0:22:25I want a fleet of high-tech, High Street garages providing
0:22:25 > 0:22:28fast, efficient service, fuelled by the correct terminology.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32I don't want to be the proprietor of a ramshackle backstreet garage
0:22:32 > 0:22:35- that's going nowhere. - You cheeky little...
0:22:35 > 0:22:38- You're his boss, get rid of him. - With pleasure.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Justin, with respect, you're fired.
0:22:47 > 0:22:52You better be good, these Strictly tickets are like gold dust.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three, four.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00MUSIC PLAYS
0:23:02 > 0:23:03Ow.
0:23:07 > 0:23:08So what do you think?
0:23:10 > 0:23:15Call that dancing? Get real. Now this is dancing.
0:23:20 > 0:23:24- Watch it.- Careful.- Ow!- Ouch.
0:23:24 > 0:23:25Ow, my ankle.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28It doesn't look like you're going to be dancing any time soon.
0:23:28 > 0:23:32Want to bet? Ow!
0:23:32 > 0:23:34- You have a nice rest. - I'll go and get my dad.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38After we've done a Pasodoble on tour.
0:23:43 > 0:23:44Arrgh!
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Nonny-nonny no,
0:23:47 > 0:23:51one shackalacka shake.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Is this a burger I see before me?
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Any sign of Irma de Groot?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09She's over there, the little dumpling, eating dumplings.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Break a leg kitty-Kat.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Charming, break one yourself.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22Now,
0:24:22 > 0:24:26is the winter of our discontent
0:24:26 > 0:24:30made glorious summer by the son of York, but who is York
0:24:30 > 0:24:35and what is a name by which we call a rose, or a carnation?
0:24:35 > 0:24:39Come on, come on we haven't got all day, donkey. Hey, Sass.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Don't say it, I know I'm always late but put it this way,
0:24:42 > 0:24:44you're lucky I even came.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48- No worries, you're here now. - Glad you made it.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51- Deeds, what is up with the voice? - Er, I've got a cold.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55- So anyway, had any more thoughts about Taylor?- Uh? Ow.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58Hang on...
0:24:58 > 0:25:01It is a tale told by an idiot.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04A horse, a horse my kingdom for a horse.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07I really, really like Taylor but if he doesn't like me then that's OK.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10When we have shuffled off this mortal coil.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12You can't help who you fall in love with after all.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16Oh, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?
0:25:16 > 0:25:19It's game over because he's asked moosehead, Ashlii back out.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21No, I haven't.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25The only person I want to ask out right now is you.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28And there I pause.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32What is so funny?
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Come hither, donkey, and lead the way.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42That's your cue, big ears, move it!
0:25:44 > 0:25:49I said, come hither, donkey, and lead the way!
0:25:49 > 0:25:51CHEERING
0:25:54 > 0:25:56Sadie, you're ruining my...
0:25:56 > 0:25:58ALL CHEER
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Just go with it.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Don't worry, I intend to!
0:26:04 > 0:26:07CHEERING
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Guess what, guys? Irma De Groot loved the show!
0:26:31 > 0:26:33She described it "total comic genius." See?
0:26:33 > 0:26:36No way! Miss V must be happy.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39She also said the menu was a total rip off
0:26:39 > 0:26:42and the only medieval thing in sight was the owner.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Not that happy, then. Who cares?
0:26:44 > 0:26:47- I am!- Me too!
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Well of course you are, you've got your very own Romeo.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Actually, it's Taylor.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54Watch out, world. Things are never going to be the same again.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56The Jenkster's finally got a boyfriend!
0:26:56 > 0:26:58I've got a boyfriend!
0:26:58 > 0:27:00I've got a boyfriend.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02I've got a boyfriend! I've got a boyfriend! I've...