0:00:02 > 0:00:03- Sign here and here.- Sorry!
0:00:03 > 0:00:06OK, what's the emergency? I got here as soon as I could.
0:00:06 > 0:00:11- Hence the mismatching sneakers. - And tights and scarf and bangles.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14- I need to go home! - Your lack of ability to accessorise
0:00:14 > 0:00:17is nowhere near as important as this.
0:00:17 > 0:00:21- It's vegetarian day? - Is that even real?- Of course it is.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24I called you here to help me with my petition.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Ms V is refusing to put a veggie dish on the menu.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29- Care to sign up?- One sec.
0:00:29 > 0:00:33Has nobody told you that this is a Kitty Kat special seat?
0:00:33 > 0:00:37Well, it is, and it takes a certain degree of fabuliciousness to fill it.
0:00:37 > 0:00:38I.e. moi.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Now, S to the C to the A-R-M.
0:00:41 > 0:00:42Scram.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48Anyway, we were discussing Sadie's fashion faux pas...s.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51We were discussing the need to get a vegetarian dish on the menu.
0:00:51 > 0:00:56Oh, look, it's two of the o'clock, I'll get our lunch orders in.
0:00:56 > 0:00:57Meat feasts all round?
0:00:59 > 0:01:01Look, Dedes, I love you and all,
0:01:01 > 0:01:03but there's only you, Babcock
0:01:03 > 0:01:05and that weird cat lady from the vegetarian book shop
0:01:05 > 0:01:07who cares about this stuff.
0:01:07 > 0:01:11- Hey, Dedes. - # When love takes over. #
0:01:11 > 0:01:14I hear you're campaigning for a veggie dish on the menu.
0:01:14 > 0:01:15Where do I sign up?
0:01:15 > 0:01:20- You're a vegetarian?- For ethical, nutritional or political reasons?
0:01:20 > 0:01:22All of those. Plus I really like tofu.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25So the first person to get a tofu tamale on the menu
0:01:25 > 0:01:26is being taken by lunch by me.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30- For real?- Yuh-huh.- Oh, my Gaga.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35More tofu tamale?
0:01:35 > 0:01:36SHE GIGGLES
0:01:36 > 0:01:37SHE SNORTS
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Oops.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41This is outrageous, Ms V.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44As a vegetarian, non-meat-eating, beef-free tofu-lover myself,
0:01:44 > 0:01:47I can not believe you treat us this badly.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50- You're not...- Bun it. This is my ticket to the T-zone.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54Ven vill you potato fiends get it into your thick schnoodles?
0:01:54 > 0:01:57- Vegetable dishes do not make moolah. - Are you kidding?
0:01:57 > 0:02:03- You've got three diners here just gagging for green.- Exactly. Three.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Who likes bacon double buffalo burgers?
0:02:06 > 0:02:07ALL: Me!
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Well, I guess that's it, then.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13It's a shame, I was really looking forward to that lunch.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Don't be bonkalicious, we can fight this, Taylor. Our shared love...
0:02:17 > 0:02:21of tofu...will keep us going.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24One triple meat feast buffalo burger for Sadie J.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27- How dare you? I didn't order that. - I know, Kit did.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29He said it was your favourite.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Don't be ridonkulous, I'm a vegetarian,
0:02:32 > 0:02:34like my new tofu buddy here.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38- Whatevs, you're a total carnival. - CarnivORE.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40What she said.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43Come away from the delusionoid, there's a good boy.
0:02:43 > 0:02:44Don't worry, dude,
0:02:44 > 0:02:48if it's the last thing I do, I will have lunch with you.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50I mean, a veggie lunch with you,
0:02:50 > 0:02:54once I've got a veggie dish on the menu, obvs, cos I'm a veggie.
0:02:58 > 0:03:03# Won't somebody tell me why I'm always surrounded by boys
0:03:03 > 0:03:05# Give me a break
0:03:05 > 0:03:07# They got attitude, kind of cute
0:03:07 > 0:03:11# But when they're in trouble Takes a girl to save the day
0:03:11 > 0:03:13# To save the day
0:03:13 > 0:03:15# I'd love another girl around the place
0:03:15 > 0:03:17# To be her
0:03:17 > 0:03:19# Someone to back me up so I always
0:03:19 > 0:03:20# Have the last word
0:03:20 > 0:03:24# Guess it's hard to be the only girl
0:03:24 > 0:03:26# In a boy's world
0:03:26 > 0:03:30# Girl, girl in a boy's world
0:03:30 > 0:03:33# I know I'm stronger cos I've got a positive mental attitude
0:03:33 > 0:03:36# I'm understanding, kind of sensitive
0:03:36 > 0:03:37# Don't want gratitude
0:03:37 > 0:03:40# I just don't want to be the only girl
0:03:40 > 0:03:43# In a boy's world. #
0:03:43 > 0:03:47- Guess what?- What?- What's that old banger still doing here?
0:03:47 > 0:03:51- I have to guess that?- No, just tell me what it's still doing here.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- I don't get this game. - No, it's not a game.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58I have just landed us a contract to do the whole fleet of Karlov's cabs.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00They're arriving first thing
0:04:00 > 0:04:03and this old banger should have been out of here by now.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05- Done by who?- By you!
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Please don't tell me
0:04:07 > 0:04:10they're the invoices I asked you to post this morning.
0:04:10 > 0:04:11When did you ask me that?
0:04:11 > 0:04:14After I asked you to clear your breakfast things away.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17All right, don't blow your bald patch.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21I know I'm disorganised and unreliable
0:04:21 > 0:04:26and all over the place and feel free to stop me at any time, here.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28But I'm going to change, I swear.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31You better had. I tell you, this is the a big job for us.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Mess it up and they won't use us again.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36- We've got to be on top of our game. - I am on top.
0:04:36 > 0:04:41- I'm over the top, in fact. I'm on it, boss.- All right.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44What exactly was it you asked me to do, again?
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- Ready to open this school report? - Too right.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52These things are the best laugh we have all year.
0:04:52 > 0:04:53You're so right.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Remember last year when Miss Dunthorpe says I was,
0:04:56 > 0:04:59"More keen on telling fart jokes than learning French."
0:04:59 > 0:05:00PARP
0:05:00 > 0:05:05Mine was way funnier. "Jake's sleeping in class was bad enough,
0:05:05 > 0:05:08"but his train-like snoring takes it to another level."
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Hugggh-hugggh.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14Three, two, one. Let the comedy commence.
0:05:17 > 0:05:22Oh, yes, my "irreverent burping is disturbing the other students."
0:05:22 > 0:05:23HE BELCHES
0:05:23 > 0:05:25This is a disaster!
0:05:25 > 0:05:28Old Dunthorpe says I've "improved enormously".
0:05:28 > 0:05:31I'm "on track to finish the year as an A-star student".
0:05:31 > 0:05:35She wants me to enrol in the academic after-school club.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Three hours a day, five days a week.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43Er, it's OK, mate, we can play Ninja Warlords when you get back.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47For two minutes before bedtime. My social life is officially over.
0:05:47 > 0:05:51Once my dad sees this, he's bound to make me go to those classes.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Well...
0:05:53 > 0:05:55your dad doesn't HAVE to see it.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Jakey-boy, you're a genius.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04No! Stop that dog!
0:06:09 > 0:06:13OK, who's last season bucket bag is crowding my couch?
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Ex-squeeze me?
0:06:15 > 0:06:20That little carry-on is a classic, hence it needs sofa space.
0:06:20 > 0:06:26- You clearly know nada about fashion, miss.- Rebekker, double K, no A.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Well, Miss Double-K-No-A,
0:06:28 > 0:06:31has nobody told you that this is a Kitty Kat special seat?
0:06:31 > 0:06:35Well, it is. And it takes a certain degree of fabuliciousness to fill it.
0:06:35 > 0:06:36I.e. moi.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40We'll see about that, you sour-faced swamp mouth.
0:06:42 > 0:06:48I mean, nothing. That is clearly a classic, defo deserves sofa space.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51- Enjoy my seat, bucket bag. - Have you seen Sadie?
0:06:51 > 0:06:55I can't believe she'd hijack a serious campaign to impress a boy.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59I won't work. As president of the local vegetarian club,
0:06:59 > 0:07:02I have tried EVERYTHING to get a veggie dish on the menu.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04She's not going to wreck our cause and reputation
0:07:04 > 0:07:08with any more of her inappropriate, stupid schemes.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Did even you breathe then?
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Dedes, I'm sure Sass is going to do nothing
0:07:13 > 0:07:16to damage your cause or the club's reputation.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19# You won't get no dessert till you clean off your plate
0:07:19 > 0:07:21# So, eat it
0:07:21 > 0:07:22#Don't you tell me you're full
0:07:22 > 0:07:24# Just eat it Eat it
0:07:24 > 0:07:25# Eat it Eat it.#
0:07:26 > 0:07:28OK, I know what you're thinking.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31How is dancing whilst dressed as a vegetable going to get
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Taylor his veggie dish and make him take me for lunch?
0:07:34 > 0:07:38Cos I'm the mascot for the veggie-tastic protest, duh.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41- What do we want?- Vegetables! - When do we want them?- Now!
0:07:41 > 0:07:45- How do we want them? - Fried.- Boiled.- Grilled.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48We've still got teething problems.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52OK, the costume is debatable but the turnout is well impressive.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Talk about people power.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58Where'd you find these bean-burger-loving bongo-bashers?
0:07:58 > 0:08:02- Um.- Hang on, isn't that Colin Tives from the vegetarian book shop?
0:08:02 > 0:08:05That's Mrs Higgins from my wool spinning class.
0:08:05 > 0:08:06Ah! You didn't?
0:08:06 > 0:08:11I did. Thanks, your contacts list is bursting with bongo-bashers.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13How did you convince them to come?
0:08:13 > 0:08:17With supreme social networking, duh. And free radishes.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23Ms V, I demand you put a vegetarian dish on The Diner menu.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26I demand that Marvin from JLS return my calls,
0:08:26 > 0:08:28we can't alvays get what ve vant.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30I can. The people have spoken
0:08:30 > 0:08:33and these 100 veggies have the right to be fed, right?
0:08:33 > 0:08:37- ALL:- Yes!- 100? - Haven't you seen the crowd outside?
0:08:37 > 0:08:39KER-CHING!
0:08:39 > 0:08:42In that case, tofu tamales for everybody.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Yay!
0:08:44 > 0:08:464.99 a tamale, no refund, no return and no taste.
0:08:46 > 0:08:50- I'm taking somebody to lunch. - Over my dead body.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52I'd prefer a table, but if you insist.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Oh, GM-free, you actually did it, this is massive.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Who cares? Taylor's taking me to lunch.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Don't you understand? You're a serious voice for change.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02You have to keep this up.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05- Like that's ever going to happen. - Sadie!
0:09:05 > 0:09:08- W-What's going on? I just... - Sadie! Sadie!
0:09:08 > 0:09:13I can't believe I'm saying this, but as head of the vegetarian club,
0:09:13 > 0:09:16I'd like to appoint you as our new spokesperson.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19But I like meat. Chicken, pork, bacon - the meatier the better!
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Nobody has to know you don't believe in the cause.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24You're making a difference.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27I'm sorry but there is no way I could keep this up.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31Way to go, fighting for our rights. I am taking you to dinner.
0:09:37 > 0:09:42So, what are you going to get? Tofu teriyaki? Tofu tagliatelle?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Tofu Taylor.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46I mean tortilla, obvs.
0:09:47 > 0:09:52Fellow vegetarians, your new spokesperson is in da house.
0:09:52 > 0:09:57And she won't rest until there's a veggie dish in every cafe in town.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00- She's veggie-licious.- Tofu-tastic. - Dead-meat-a-mundo.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03ALL: Sadie! Sadie! Sadie!
0:10:03 > 0:10:06- Sadie! Sadie! Sadie!- Whoa.- Arrrgh!
0:10:06 > 0:10:08CRASH
0:10:13 > 0:10:17- What's that you say, boss? I'm on time for once.- Actually, I didn't...
0:10:17 > 0:10:20The dishes are done. And the invoices are posted.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23"Keith, you are organised today."
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- You having a break-down?- Yup.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29A time break-down. Check it out.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32I've got the on-time work organiser app on my phone.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34I put everything I need to do in there
0:10:34 > 0:10:37and then it keeps reminding me until I do it.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Genius. Right, get me a spanner.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43- Get Steve a... - No, no, just, just do it.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47I've got Karlov's cabs coming and we've got to get this sorted.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Chillax, boss, I done it yesterday.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53But today, there's a strange, ticking noise coming from it.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Can you hear it?
0:10:56 > 0:10:57TICK TOCK TICK TOCK.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01- So what?- So, Mr Vellenti's a right, old fuss-pot.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03We can't give him this back with a strange noise.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07Maybe it's time to get Mr Vellenti some earplugs then.
0:11:07 > 0:11:11- Spanner.- I was only kidding. - Wheel nuts.- I was.
0:11:11 > 0:11:15No, perhaps the noise is coming from the wheel nuts. Out of the way.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Do you hear it?
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Here's the deal, I did something I'm not proud of,
0:11:24 > 0:11:26but I didn't do it cos I wanted to,
0:11:26 > 0:11:28I did it cos I didn't know what I was doing.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30You're making as much sense as I usually do.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34I may have accidentally been mean to someone in The Diner.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36You sour-faced, swamp mouth.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40- That I'd never, ever, ever normally be mean to.- Gaga was in The Diner?
0:11:40 > 0:11:42No!
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Sass, what's your plan for getting a veggie dish
0:11:44 > 0:11:46into every cafe in town?
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Oh, yeah, about that, um.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Ex-squeeze me, here first.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53I hear the veggie gang are your biggest fans.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Sadie! Sadie!
0:11:55 > 0:11:58Oh, yeah, it's, er, brilliant, isn't it?
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Will someone please give me some advice on what to do
0:12:01 > 0:12:05when you've been mean to someone you didn't mean to be mean to.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08- Just say sorry, duh. - Are you Dede-mented?
0:12:08 > 0:12:11That's ridiculous, I couldn't possibly do that.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14If I did, then they'd know I was being mean. Get me?
0:12:14 > 0:12:16No, you lost me at Dede-mented.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Look, Kit, all you need to do is cosy up to them
0:12:19 > 0:12:21and be bonkaliciously nice.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24They'll forget anything bad you've ever done.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28- And that actually works? - Yuh-huh, all the time with De...
0:12:28 > 0:12:29With...?
0:12:29 > 0:12:30WRAPPER CRACKLES
0:12:30 > 0:12:33Sorry, guys, it's really bad reception here,
0:12:33 > 0:12:36I'll call you back later when I've got a...
0:12:41 > 0:12:46Them Karlov cabs are here, boss. And my on-time app says... Boss?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48- Yeah, in here.- In where?
0:12:48 > 0:12:49Here, here.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54You sure you want to be doing this right now?
0:12:54 > 0:12:58It'll take me two secs to put it back together.
0:12:58 > 0:12:59Ish.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04Now, as Bear Grylls says, the best way to catch your prey
0:13:04 > 0:13:07is to mount a surprise attack on their nest.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10that way, the prey will feel calm and settled
0:13:10 > 0:13:12and have their guard down.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15How exactly can a school report have its guard down?
0:13:15 > 0:13:17No, I was talking about Rodge.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Arrgh!
0:13:30 > 0:13:32# One way or another
0:13:32 > 0:13:34# I'm gonna find ya
0:13:34 > 0:13:36# I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha
0:13:36 > 0:13:38# One way or another
0:13:38 > 0:13:39# I'm gonna win ya
0:13:39 > 0:13:42# I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha
0:13:42 > 0:13:44# One way or another
0:13:44 > 0:13:46# I'm gonna see ya... #
0:13:46 > 0:13:50- This is it, Jakey-boy. He's got nowhere else to go.- Bag that dog!
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- Got him.- Grr, grr.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Boss, them taxis are going nuts out there.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08I thought I was supposed to be the disorganised one.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11- What have you done?!- Shh.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16- I can still hear the ticking noise. - So what?
0:14:16 > 0:14:23So I am a master mechanic, Keith. It's what I do. It's what I am.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27I've spent, already, five hours on this old banger
0:14:27 > 0:14:30and I will spend another 15 hours if I have to.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Because if I can't sort this problem,
0:14:32 > 0:14:35then I have no business being in the business I'm in.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39Your business is going to go bust if you don't sort it fast, buster.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43My organiser app says we've got three minutes per taxi
0:14:43 > 0:14:44every three minutes.
0:14:44 > 0:14:48- And we're already behind.- By how much?- Three minutes.- That's nothing.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Sorry, three hours.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51Shh.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59I don't understand, Jakey-boy. We've tried everything.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01He hasn't let go of it all night.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Right, one last go.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Any luck?
0:15:07 > 0:15:08Not a sausage.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13- No!- Way!- Don't take any more chances.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17If you don't want to be stuck in those after-school academic classes,
0:15:17 > 0:15:20- you have to destroy this, right now.- Agreed.
0:15:23 > 0:15:28Awesome. Absolutely nothing left except for a few scraps of paper.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32"A copy of this report will be emailed to your parent or guardian."
0:15:38 > 0:15:43Hey, Rebbeker, nice scarf, there, so in-trend right now.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46No, they're not, I just didn't have time to dry my hair.
0:15:46 > 0:15:50Speaking of which, your bangs bang.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Can I get you a shake? Maybe we could hang out.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Oh, sorry, this sour-faced swamp mouth
0:15:56 > 0:15:59- has got better things to do. - Someone's had a change of heart.
0:15:59 > 0:16:03I heard how you vhipped her with the viper's tongue yesterday.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06You kidding? I love that little madam.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10- You're feeling guilty about the vheels.- Ah!
0:16:12 > 0:16:15How dare you?! How do you dare?
0:16:15 > 0:16:18For your information, I'm a keen supporter of all disabled divas.
0:16:18 > 0:16:23- Is there anyone behind me? - What? No, nobody.- Phew.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26I've managed to shake off those crazy veggies.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29They followed me through a vegetable patch.
0:16:29 > 0:16:30Do they have no sense of irony?
0:16:30 > 0:16:34- I thought there were your knew BFFs. - Don't be ridonkulous.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38Order me a meat feast burger with pig fat fries, I'm starved.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Didn't you promise Taylor and the rest of them
0:16:41 > 0:16:43that you'd get a veggie dish in every restaurant?
0:16:43 > 0:16:47Yuh-huh, that's why I'm keeping a low profile, duh.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50As soon as I've had my romantic meal with Taylor...
0:16:50 > 0:16:53he'll fall head-over-heels in love with me...
0:16:53 > 0:16:56and forget I said any of that stuff. They all will.
0:16:56 > 0:16:57It'll blow over.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Yesterday's news is today's fish and chip shop.
0:17:00 > 0:17:01Or, whatever.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04There she is, that's Tofu Girl.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07She's the biggest thing to happen to our vegetarian club.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10since Gwyneth Paltrow sent us her leek and pumpkin pie recipe.
0:17:10 > 0:17:15- What's going on?- This is Mary-Anne Matterson, she's a journalist.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18- I work for the Gazette. - No way, I'm mad for the horoscopes.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22- Ashlii called the paper to tell them about you.- I bet.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24It was the least I could do.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27I know how crazy you've always been for this veggie guff.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31In fact, I told her you only eat tofu.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34# When love takes over
0:17:34 > 0:17:37# Yeah
0:17:37 > 0:17:40# You know you can't deny. #
0:17:40 > 0:17:43- Can I get an exclusive on that? - Um...
0:17:46 > 0:17:50Boss. It looks like a bomb's dropped in here.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Yeah. Well, that's what happens
0:17:55 > 0:17:59when you realise you're not the man you thought you were.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01This even part of a car?
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Admitting failure is hard enough but admitting failure
0:18:04 > 0:18:06in your specialist area is...
0:18:06 > 0:18:09- Insane.- Exactly.
0:18:09 > 0:18:14It's bad enough that Mr Karlov has taken his cabs to Metal Motors
0:18:14 > 0:18:17or that Mr Vellenti will be here any second now for his car
0:18:17 > 0:18:20which, plainly, doesn't even exist anymore.
0:18:20 > 0:18:25But worse than that, much, much worse than that is the fact that
0:18:25 > 0:18:30I still haven't sorted out this darn tick, tick, ticking noise yet.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Don't worry, Steve, I'll help you.
0:18:34 > 0:18:38- Sort out ticking...- Enough with that app already! Just turn it off.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40All right, all right.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42SILENCE
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Stop.
0:18:44 > 0:18:48- Do you hear that?- No.- Exactly.
0:18:49 > 0:18:50It stopped.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56- What did you just do? - Turned off the on-time ticker app.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59"On-time ticker app"?
0:18:59 > 0:19:04It's called that because it keeps track of time by ticking.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10Please. Not my face, anywhere but my beautiful face.
0:19:10 > 0:19:16What I've got in mind for you is far, far worse than that.
0:19:19 > 0:19:20Danny?
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Danny?
0:19:24 > 0:19:30All right, Jakey-boy. Um, I mean, hello, Jake. How are you today?
0:19:30 > 0:19:34Dumbstruck. That's what I am. Now, what's going on, you melon-head?
0:19:34 > 0:19:39- Nothing. Just getting my nerd groove on.- "Nerd groove"?
0:19:39 > 0:19:41All right, I won't lie to you.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45Putting on this cardigan and these glasses was tough,
0:19:45 > 0:19:48- but if that's my fate, so be it. - By why is it your fate?
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Cos I'm about to join the ranks
0:19:51 > 0:19:53of the academic after-school classes, that's why.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55I need to look the part.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Ow! These nerds are tougher than you think.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01If you still want to get out of those classes,
0:20:01 > 0:20:04get rid of the email report. Just like the paper one.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07Yeah but that's...genius!
0:20:08 > 0:20:10In fact, I could kiss you right now.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13But I won't.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16- You are joking?- I never joke when it comes to business.
0:20:16 > 0:20:21You made me take it apart, sunshine. You can put it back together.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24# I've been driving in my car
0:20:26 > 0:20:29# It's not quite a Jaguar... #
0:20:29 > 0:20:32Ta-da! Back together again.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34In the shape of a car, you muppet.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Worth a try.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39# It was made in '59
0:20:41 > 0:20:43# In a factory by the Tyne
0:20:43 > 0:20:47# It says Morris on the door... #
0:20:47 > 0:20:50- Not bad, eh?- Voice-activated, is it?
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Oh, man!
0:20:54 > 0:20:58- That's only one little thing missing, ain't it?- Not quite.
0:21:04 > 0:21:05Wakey, wakey.
0:21:07 > 0:21:08Read it and weep.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13- I don't believe it.- Believe it.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16This little baby is ready to roll again.
0:21:17 > 0:21:18Ish.
0:21:23 > 0:21:28- Laptop.- Check.- Full battery. - Check.- Wi-Fi.- Check.
0:21:28 > 0:21:33- Mighty Motor's website on screen. - Check.- Go for it, Jakester.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Er, what's your dad's password?
0:21:39 > 0:21:42May I just say, I'm Tofu Girl's closest BFF
0:21:42 > 0:21:45and I have always encouraged her to be a librarian.
0:21:45 > 0:21:50- Come again?- Vegetarian, you dufus. - And that.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52W-where is Sadie, anyway?
0:21:54 > 0:21:58I knew it. You're about as vegetarian as Ms V's wolfhound.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Wolfgang likes vegetables, actually.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04Don't worry, your secret's safe with me, Jenkster.
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Not.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13Try "spanner".
0:22:13 > 0:22:14BUZZ
0:22:14 > 0:22:15Nah.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18- "Tyre". - BUZZ
0:22:18 > 0:22:22- "Crankshaft"!- No need to get uppity. - No, I meant, try "crankshaft".
0:22:22 > 0:22:24BUZZ
0:22:24 > 0:22:28Look, that report is already in his inbox.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31- In fact, it's as good as in his glove box.- Try "glove box".
0:22:33 > 0:22:35BEEP Woo-hoo, we're in!
0:22:35 > 0:22:37That was so good, it deserves the robot.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41After we've deleted my school report.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44But I-I don't get it.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48It says that your "irreverent burping is disturbing the other students."
0:22:48 > 0:22:52- That's exactly the same as... - MY report.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55- Which means we must have got the paper ones...- ..mixed up!
0:22:55 > 0:22:57PHONE BEEPS
0:22:58 > 0:23:00"Well done, son.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04"I can't believe my little Jake-in-the-box is such a brainiac.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06"Love, Dad."
0:23:07 > 0:23:11Better start brushing up for those academic after-school classes,
0:23:11 > 0:23:13- Jakey-boy.- NOOOO!
0:23:16 > 0:23:18# These roses are... #
0:23:18 > 0:23:22- Hey, watch it.- Make way, we have a lady on wheels coming through.
0:23:22 > 0:23:27- What are you doing?- Just making things a little bit easier for you.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31- A special girl deserves special treatment.- That's the problem.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34- What?- I'm NOT special.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37When we first faced-off, you were giving it all of that.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41But when you saw my chair, you started being all nice.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Don't be thinking I'm too physically-challenged
0:23:43 > 0:23:46to be challenged, boyfriend.
0:23:46 > 0:23:51- So, you want me to hate on you? - Well, if I deserve it, yuh-huh.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Well said. Dummkopf.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56OK, deal.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Move your boney butt so I can put my banging Bolero down.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Don't think so, girlfriend.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05Here first. BTW, Boleros never came in to go out.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09In fact, the only thing banging about them are the beads.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20- Read it and weep, Jenkster. - I am weeping, look!
0:24:20 > 0:24:24Please don't tell my veggie followers. They'll be crushed.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27- I was never going to tell your "followers".- Seriously?
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Maybe she's not such a moosehead after all?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32I'm going to tell this journalist instead
0:24:32 > 0:24:34then SHE can tell your followers.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38Isn't it awful when the media build you up to tear you down?
0:24:38 > 0:24:40- They can be so fickle. - There you are.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43The world is waiting for a few words of wisdom from Tofu Girl.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44- ALL:- Yeah!
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Well, I wouldn't say the world.
0:24:46 > 0:24:50OK, the whole town is waiting for a few words of wisdom from Tofu Girl.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Actually, we only sell to around a third of the town.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56We get it, not many people are going to read this.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59The folks who are need to hear your empowering voice
0:24:59 > 0:25:01on the necessity of meat-free food.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05- Um, OK.- Don't listen to her. I have photographic evidence. It's...
0:25:05 > 0:25:09- ..a lie, I'm not a vegetarian! - THEY ALL GASP
0:25:11 > 0:25:14I wouldn't even know one if it came up to me and was like,
0:25:14 > 0:25:17"Hey, I'm Veggie the vegetable and I'm a vegetarian."
0:25:17 > 0:25:20- I love bacon!- Oooh. - And burgers!- Aah.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23And onion rings...
0:25:23 > 0:25:26- on a big, fat, juicy steak.- Aah.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29I only said I was a veggie so I could impress someone.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31I meant everyone.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33But whilst I was lying and cheating,
0:25:33 > 0:25:36pulling the organic wool over people's eyes, it hit me,
0:25:36 > 0:25:39why isn't there a veggie dish on the menu?
0:25:39 > 0:25:41We all deserve to be catered for.
0:25:41 > 0:25:42- Here, here.- Thanks, Dedes.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46I may not be one of you but I really do believe in your cause.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50And if you still want me, I'll happily be your meat-eating,
0:25:50 > 0:25:51but pro-veggie, Tofu Girl.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Boo!
0:25:54 > 0:25:58- I'll take that as a no. - You got egg on your face, Sass.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00I know, I'm such an idiot.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03No, you've literally got egg on your face. It's right there.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07- Oh. Thanks.- And I don't think you're an idiot. I sure that someone
0:26:07 > 0:26:11thinks that you did a really cool thing. That you're a nice girl.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15# Feels like I've waited so long for this. #
0:26:15 > 0:26:19Tay-tay, it's time to go-go. Ta-ta.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24- Well, that wasn't a total car crash, thankfully.- Are you kidding?
0:26:24 > 0:26:27He called me nice! Nobody wants to be called nice.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31And he never even mentioned lunch or dinner. But we had a deal.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33I want that tofu tamale. Oh!
0:26:33 > 0:26:34CRASH
0:26:48 > 0:26:51Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:26:51 > 0:26:54E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:26:54 > 0:26:58These tofu tamales are, like, seriously good, aren't they?
0:26:58 > 0:27:02In fact, I love them almost as much as I love you!
0:27:02 > 0:27:03BOTH: Right back at ya!
0:27:03 > 0:27:05THEY ALL LAUGH