0:58:02 > 0:58:05- Here, tell me if someone picks up. - No, but that's mine!
0:58:05 > 0:58:08Sorry, Dees. I'm on a Perry popilicious mission to get tickets
0:58:08 > 0:58:11- to the girl wonder's one night in Wembley.- She's bagging us
0:58:11 > 0:58:13Katy Perry concert tickets.
0:58:13 > 0:58:17Oh, my Lady Gaga! I just got through!
0:58:17 > 0:58:20Now don't freak out, but there was no Vineleaf Vegan burgers.
0:58:20 > 0:58:23I got you a Double-Double Meat Feast with extra buffalo.
0:58:23 > 0:58:25Arrgh!
0:58:25 > 0:58:27I knew the buffalo would tip her over the edge.
0:58:27 > 0:58:31It's not that. It's Mega Myles, the Megatron. She's coming over!
0:58:31 > 0:58:33MUSIC: "Smart Girls" by Weezer
0:58:37 > 0:58:40- So?- So?! She's the new head girl
0:58:40 > 0:58:43and I put my name in the ring to be her second in command.
0:58:43 > 0:58:45- This could be it! - Guess who's top of the list
0:58:45 > 0:58:48- to be my deputy?- Selina Gomez?
0:58:48 > 0:58:50- WHIP CRACK - What?
0:58:50 > 0:58:52Well, thankfully, rule 12
0:58:52 > 0:58:56in the official Head Girl Rule Book clearly states all candidates
0:58:56 > 0:58:57have to be enrolled at our school.
0:58:57 > 0:59:00So, barring a bolt from the blue, I want you...
0:59:00 > 0:59:03One Chockalaka Celebration Shake, cos I just got
0:59:03 > 0:59:05the last ticket in town!
0:59:07 > 0:59:10I thought we agreed we'd never go see the K-ster without each other?
0:59:10 > 0:59:14- Oh, come on. What did you expect me to do?- But, Perry!
0:59:14 > 0:59:16You promised!
0:59:17 > 0:59:20I'm officially huffing off.
0:59:20 > 0:59:22An "excuse me" would have been nice.
0:59:22 > 0:59:25That's what one normally does when one knocks a person over.
0:59:25 > 0:59:29- Excuse yourself, lady! - Who is this irritating personage?!
0:59:29 > 0:59:31Er, Dede's BFF, that's who.
0:59:31 > 0:59:34And, if you want a picture of irritating...
0:59:34 > 0:59:37- Hello! - What are you doing?
0:59:37 > 0:59:40- It's just a joke. - I'm so sorry, Megan.
0:59:40 > 0:59:43My friend has a very unique sense of humour.
0:59:43 > 0:59:45So anyway, back to this deputy stuff.
0:59:45 > 0:59:48- You were saying you want...? - You know what?
0:59:48 > 0:59:51I think I might need another few days to make up my mind.
0:59:51 > 0:59:52- No! But...- But nothing.
0:59:52 > 0:59:54A good deputy is a patient one.
0:59:54 > 0:59:59It's all about the kind of person you are. And the company you keep?
0:59:59 > 1:00:03Sadie! You just totally messed up my chances of becoming deputy head girl.
1:00:03 > 1:00:05She would've given me the gig
1:00:05 > 1:00:07if you hadn't been so unbelievably rude to her.
1:00:07 > 1:00:10OK, OK. Relax, Deeds. I'm sorry, all right?
1:00:10 > 1:00:12No, not all right! Apology not accepted.
1:00:12 > 1:00:16I'm tired of being let down by you all the time.
1:00:16 > 1:00:20You lie, you cheat, you mess up everything. You even steal my shakes.
1:00:20 > 1:00:23You're incredibly selfish and you only care about you!
1:00:23 > 1:00:25That is so not true.
1:00:25 > 1:00:29Prove it! Get me back into Megan's good books in the next 24 hours
1:00:29 > 1:00:30and I might actually believe
1:00:30 > 1:00:33you're a selfless, good and kind friend. For once!
1:00:33 > 1:00:35Am I really that bad a BFF?
1:00:35 > 1:00:39Talk to the hand, you Katy Perry double-crosser!
1:00:39 > 1:00:42Oh, no. Actually I'm worse than that!
1:00:42 > 1:00:44Fine, I'll do it. The Megatron is in the bag.
1:00:44 > 1:00:47Prepare to be satisfied with selflessness!
1:00:47 > 1:00:49You don't realise what a good and kind BFF I am, guys.
1:00:49 > 1:00:51Mine!
1:00:52 > 1:00:53Whoops!
1:00:53 > 1:00:56# Won't somebody tell me why
1:00:56 > 1:00:59# I'm always surrounded by boys?
1:00:59 > 1:01:01# Give me a break
1:01:01 > 1:01:03# They've got attitude, Kind of cute
1:01:03 > 1:01:06# But when they're in trouble, Tricks are good
1:01:06 > 1:01:08# To save the day, to save the day
1:01:08 > 1:01:11# I'd love another girl Around the place
1:01:11 > 1:01:13# Could you be her?
1:01:13 > 1:01:16# Someone to back me up so I always have the last word
1:01:16 > 1:01:18# I guess it's hard To be the only girl
1:01:18 > 1:01:22# In a boys' world
1:01:22 > 1:01:23# Girl, girl
1:01:23 > 1:01:25# In a boys'...
1:01:25 > 1:01:27# I know I'm strong because I've got a positive
1:01:27 > 1:01:29# Mental attitude
1:01:29 > 1:01:32# Understanding, kind of sensitive
1:01:32 > 1:01:33# Don't want gratitude
1:01:33 > 1:01:37# I just don't want to be The only girl
1:01:37 > 1:01:38# In a boys' world. #
1:01:38 > 1:01:44Hey! Who wants to play Ninja Warlord: Return Of The Camutan?
1:01:44 > 1:01:47- What's going on here?- Er, nothing?
1:01:47 > 1:01:48Knitting.
1:01:48 > 1:01:52Knitting?! That is like so nafftastic!
1:01:52 > 1:01:55- No, it's not.- Yeah, it is! I hate it, but I've got to do it
1:01:55 > 1:01:57as part of my arts and crafts assignment.
1:01:57 > 1:01:59And I'm helping Jakey Baby.
1:01:59 > 1:02:02My Nicolson says we have to knit an entire jumper.
1:02:02 > 1:02:04It's going to take forever!
1:02:04 > 1:02:06Who cares what SHE says?
1:02:06 > 1:02:08Put down the needles, it's Ninja Warlord O'clock!
1:02:08 > 1:02:12We haven't got time for that. This is a very technical craft.
1:02:12 > 1:02:14It takes ages to master it.
1:02:14 > 1:02:17Not like a dumb-dumb like you would understand.
1:02:17 > 1:02:20Who you calling a dumb-dumb? Dumb-dumb!
1:02:20 > 1:02:23- I could knit if I wanted to. - Oh, yeah?- Yeah.
1:02:23 > 1:02:25- Yeah?- Yeah!
1:02:25 > 1:02:27Show me what you've got!
1:02:32 > 1:02:36- Boss, I've got a major problem. - Yeah, you and me both.
1:02:36 > 1:02:40I promised Bobby, the local bobby, I'd fix his flashing light.
1:02:40 > 1:02:43But the instructions are in Japanese. I haven't a clue.
1:02:43 > 1:02:46I've got a real crisis here, Steve. Natalie...
1:02:46 > 1:02:49- my new girlfriend...- Ah.
1:02:49 > 1:02:52..has asked me to go to a pool party.
1:02:54 > 1:02:58Anyway, the flashing light. If you can just pass me that spanner.
1:02:58 > 1:03:00- No, you don't understand. - No, YOU don't understand.
1:03:00 > 1:03:01This is a big job.
1:03:01 > 1:03:04If I don't fix it, Bobby can't get back on the beat.
1:03:04 > 1:03:07If Bobby can't get back on the beat, then the burglars can't beat Bobby.
1:03:07 > 1:03:11Either way, it's way more important than you not being able to swim.
1:03:11 > 1:03:13- I CAN swim...- Well...
1:03:13 > 1:03:16..as long as I wear my armbands. HE LAUGHS
1:03:16 > 1:03:18Oh, my Lord.
1:03:18 > 1:03:22- You not going to let me get on with this till I help you, are you?- No.
1:03:22 > 1:03:23All right. OK.
1:03:24 > 1:03:27I'll give you 20 seconds.
1:03:27 > 1:03:31Now, it seems to me that you CAN swim,
1:03:31 > 1:03:33so you don't actually need your armbands.
1:03:33 > 1:03:36It's like me and these Japanese instructions.
1:03:36 > 1:03:38I could've told Bobby that I couldn't fix his light
1:03:38 > 1:03:40because I couldn't read them, but did I?
1:03:40 > 1:03:45No. I just ditched them, manned up and took the job.
1:03:45 > 1:03:47That's exactly what you're going to do.
1:03:47 > 1:03:50You're going to learn to swim without your armbands.
1:03:50 > 1:03:53- But...- 20 seconds are up.
1:03:53 > 1:03:55Yeah, but... POLICE SIREN WAILS
1:03:59 > 1:04:02Three diner doughnut dippers and a double decker baguette.
1:04:02 > 1:04:05Carbs, on a weekday? What gives?
1:04:05 > 1:04:08- Katy Perry's sold out! I need a pick-me-up.- Oh!
1:04:08 > 1:04:11What, Katy Perry's musical concert?
1:04:11 > 1:04:16- I prefer the term cultural event of the year.- More like snorefest!
1:04:17 > 1:04:20I'm a close and personal friend of the Perry's PR manager.
1:04:20 > 1:04:23He always sends me backstage passes, tickets,
1:04:23 > 1:04:27whenever there's a concert, but I never go.
1:04:27 > 1:04:31Are you insane?! The Perry is perfect. Please take me with you!
1:04:31 > 1:04:35I cannot bring myself to sit through that tuneless guff!
1:04:36 > 1:04:39Pretty please with an extra kitty-cat on top?
1:04:39 > 1:04:41Say yes, say yes, say yes!
1:04:41 > 1:04:42Fine.
1:04:42 > 1:04:47- So long as...- Yay! Go Kitty Cat, go Kitty Cat.
1:04:47 > 1:04:52- Don't say a word to Sass.- Oh, never mind her. What about...?- Zip it!
1:04:52 > 1:04:55Talk about the perfect Perry payback.
1:04:55 > 1:04:57Thinks she's all that, getting the last ticket?
1:04:57 > 1:05:01I'll show her who's the Perrymeister when I go backstage on the night.
1:05:01 > 1:05:04Kit? I just wanted to say, about the whole ticket situation, I just...
1:05:04 > 1:05:08Oh, don't give it another thought, girlfriend. You go, enjoy yourself!
1:05:08 > 1:05:11- I'll wave to you from the wings. - What?- Nothing!
1:05:11 > 1:05:15- So, what's new in Sadieworld? - Selflessness, that's what.
1:05:15 > 1:05:16I've decided to push my pride aside
1:05:16 > 1:05:19and apologise to Megan for all the, um...
1:05:19 > 1:05:21stupid things I did.
1:05:21 > 1:05:25I'm sure that'll get Dede in her good books as a shoo-in for deputy.
1:05:25 > 1:05:27Looks like someone's got it worked out.
1:05:27 > 1:05:29I like to think so.
1:05:29 > 1:05:30MUSIC: "Smart Girls" by Weezer
1:05:30 > 1:05:34Oh, my geez, it's the Megatron. Hey, Megan. Remember me?
1:05:34 > 1:05:40Uh-oh! Looks like there a little bit of trouble in Nerd Town. Bon luck.
1:05:40 > 1:05:42She just didn't see me, did she?
1:05:42 > 1:05:45As head girl, naturally I've been asked to man the snack stall
1:05:45 > 1:05:47at the library fundrasier.
1:05:47 > 1:05:51Now, what do you think of microwaveable cheese strings?
1:05:51 > 1:05:55Boil-in-the-bag bhaji balls? Come on, guys.
1:05:55 > 1:05:58This stuff needs to sell like hot cakes.
1:05:58 > 1:06:02So, why don't you sell hot cakes? Or, more specifically, cupcakes.
1:06:02 > 1:06:04Rule 23 in the Head Girl Rule Book states,
1:06:04 > 1:06:07"The head girl has to make all head-girl-related decisions."
1:06:07 > 1:06:09Man, this chick likes her rules.
1:06:09 > 1:06:14OK, so why don't you decide to sell cupcakes?
1:06:14 > 1:06:17- I mean, they're like way popular. - Says you!
1:06:17 > 1:06:19Hands up who lies cupcakes!
1:06:19 > 1:06:22- ALL:- Yeah!
1:06:22 > 1:06:26But how are we going to bake them? I know nothing about cupcakes.
1:06:26 > 1:06:29Chill-a-mungo, my BFF Dede would love to help.
1:06:29 > 1:06:32They don't call her Dede "The Baker" Baxter for nothing!
1:06:32 > 1:06:36- But I've never made a cupcake in my entire life!- Really?
1:06:36 > 1:06:38I thought you did a cookery course last year?
1:06:38 > 1:06:41Yes, on how to make sushi.
1:06:41 > 1:06:44Did you honestly think making a few cupcakes
1:06:44 > 1:06:46would get me back into Megan's good books?
1:06:46 > 1:06:48- But, I just thought... - No, you didn't think.
1:06:48 > 1:06:53- That's why you just made everything a billion times worse, Sass!- Nu-huh!
1:06:53 > 1:06:57I was just trying to prove what a good, kind and selfless friend I am.
1:06:57 > 1:07:00- You can't throw me at the first hurdle!- You threw yourself!
1:07:00 > 1:07:05Oh, come on, Deeds. I'm on it this time. All over it, in fact.
1:07:05 > 1:07:08Just give me a chance. I promise this is going to work.
1:07:08 > 1:07:12It has to, cos I have absolutely no alternative!
1:07:15 > 1:07:18I'm not going to lie to you - it's going to be tough,
1:07:18 > 1:07:21especially since I've never baked anything...
1:07:21 > 1:07:22in my life...ever!
1:07:22 > 1:07:27But I reckon with dedication and exploration,
1:07:27 > 1:07:32there's a way we can make these cupcakes cupcakealicious. Agreed?
1:07:45 > 1:07:48Ta and, indeed, da.
1:07:48 > 1:07:50Not bad for a first batch, eh?
1:07:50 > 1:07:53No, not those burnt ones! These ones!
1:07:58 > 1:08:02Read it and weep, Imogen. The Danster is a natural with the needles.
1:08:02 > 1:08:04OK, fine. I admit it.
1:08:04 > 1:08:06Your cable stitch is sublime.
1:08:06 > 1:08:10Argh! I just don't get it.
1:08:10 > 1:08:12What's not to get?
1:08:12 > 1:08:13Just knit one, purl two.
1:08:13 > 1:08:15Knit one, purl two.
1:08:16 > 1:08:21- Loop to the end, then turn. - DANCE HALL MUSIC
1:08:21 > 1:08:23- RECORD SCRATCHES - Wait a minute. Are you...
1:08:23 > 1:08:24ENJOYING this?
1:08:24 > 1:08:26Are you kidding?!
1:08:26 > 1:08:29It's rubbish. Totalistically nafftastic.
1:08:29 > 1:08:32In fact, I never want to knit again in my whole, entire life.
1:08:32 > 1:08:34Just a simple "no" would have done.
1:08:39 > 1:08:41Hey, Miss V. Nice flicks.
1:08:41 > 1:08:45Loving the dress. Is that a new suit in noir?
1:08:45 > 1:08:48So, have you got that ticket? I'll meet you there.
1:08:48 > 1:08:51HE GASPS Ah-ah-ah. Not so fast, kitty-cat.
1:08:51 > 1:08:53We haven't even discussed terms yet.
1:08:53 > 1:08:56Nobody said anything about terms.
1:08:56 > 1:08:57What are terms?
1:08:57 > 1:09:00You don't get something for nothing.
1:09:00 > 1:09:03So, what are you going to give me for the ticket?
1:09:03 > 1:09:07I hear your faux-French polish pedicure is to die for.
1:09:07 > 1:09:09HE GROANS
1:09:09 > 1:09:12Put down your rule-book and read my lips.
1:09:12 > 1:09:14- This little lot are Dede-licious. - Don't do it!
1:09:15 > 1:09:19Can I just say, I know this entire situation is simply...
1:09:19 > 1:09:22Remarkable! Looks like you've excelled yourself, Baxter.
1:09:22 > 1:09:25Ah, right. Well, um...
1:09:25 > 1:09:27- I try my best!- Does she ever?!
1:09:27 > 1:09:30This girl here can turn her hand to anything, can't you?
1:09:30 > 1:09:33In fact, I'm amazed she isn't in pole position
1:09:33 > 1:09:34for that deputy head girl role.
1:09:34 > 1:09:36How unsubtle.
1:09:36 > 1:09:38Agreed. Dede? You're back in the running.
1:09:38 > 1:09:40Unsubtle works for me.
1:09:40 > 1:09:43In fact, you're neck-and-neck with my only other choice.
1:09:43 > 1:09:45- And that would be...?- You, dummy!
1:09:45 > 1:09:49- What?- What?- I mean, it's great to have practical skills like Dede,
1:09:49 > 1:09:52but you had the idea, and that's also what I want -
1:09:52 > 1:09:54a creative-thinking problem-solver.
1:09:54 > 1:09:58Thankfully, I don't have to make my mind up until tomorrow.
1:09:58 > 1:10:00Keep up the good work, girls.
1:10:05 > 1:10:08- This is a disaster. - Well, you're telling me.
1:10:08 > 1:10:11Bobby the bobby's going to bang me up if I don't get this sorted,
1:10:11 > 1:10:14and there's no way that this light fits on to this car.
1:10:14 > 1:10:17I'm talking about not being able to swim without my armbands.
1:10:17 > 1:10:20I have tried everything bar glue and rope.
1:10:22 > 1:10:25- HE SPEAKS OVER RADIO - 'PC Woods to DI Jenkins,
1:10:25 > 1:10:27'this is not about you, it's about me.'
1:10:27 > 1:10:32I tried everything in that swimming pool. Breaststroke, butterfly...
1:10:32 > 1:10:33doggy paddle,
1:10:33 > 1:10:35but nothing works without my wings.
1:10:35 > 1:10:37- HE SNIGGERS - Sorry.
1:10:37 > 1:10:40I tried to man up, but I let myself down.
1:10:43 > 1:10:44ARMBAND POPS AND HISSES...
1:10:44 > 1:10:46AND DEFLATES
1:10:46 > 1:10:48- What, a bit like that? - Boss, this is serious.
1:10:48 > 1:10:51Natalie's going to think I'm a right Muppet wearing...
1:10:51 > 1:10:54- LIGHT CASING CLATTERS - Oh...
1:10:54 > 1:10:56Nonsense. Look,
1:10:56 > 1:11:00sometimes there's more to being a man than just manning up.
1:11:00 > 1:11:05Sometimes it takes a big guy to admit that he can't do something.
1:11:05 > 1:11:08I definitely can't sort out that flashing nonsense.
1:11:08 > 1:11:12Now, you go, you take these armbands...
1:11:12 > 1:11:14- ORCHESTRAL MUSIC SWELLS - ..and you wear them with pride.
1:11:14 > 1:11:18- Are you kidding? I'll look stupid. - No. You look in control.
1:11:18 > 1:11:19Oh, yes.
1:11:19 > 1:11:22The Keithmeister - he's no backseat driver.
1:11:22 > 1:11:25He's got his pedal to the metal, he's got his gear in gear
1:11:25 > 1:11:29and he's gliding up that pool wearing these wings with pride.
1:11:30 > 1:11:32Yeah? Now, when I go and tell Bobby
1:11:32 > 1:11:35that that flashing light has flummoxed me,
1:11:35 > 1:11:38you go and you show those pool people
1:11:38 > 1:11:41how to party with a pair of armbands!
1:11:41 > 1:11:44- MUSIC FINISHES - Boss, you're right. I'm going to.
1:11:44 > 1:11:46I will. You watch me fly.
1:11:46 > 1:11:49- Oh, yes.- I mean, swim.- Yeah.
1:11:49 > 1:11:51- See ya.- Yeah.
1:11:51 > 1:11:53Right. One more time.
1:11:53 > 1:11:55- Boss, do we have a puncture repair kit?- Out!
1:12:02 > 1:12:06You're going to have to talk to me sometime. Or just hang up.
1:12:06 > 1:12:09Wait a second - have you already hung up?
1:12:09 > 1:12:11Ooh, I don't want to talk to you.
1:12:11 > 1:12:13I can't believe you're in the running to be deputy head girl.
1:12:13 > 1:12:17Um, that's the point - neither can I. But we can sort this.
1:12:17 > 1:12:19I'll just tell Megan I don't want the job.
1:12:19 > 1:12:22Like you could even do the job. You wouldn't know where to start.
1:12:22 > 1:12:26Uh, well, clearly I would, since I'm a creative-thinking problem-solver.
1:12:26 > 1:12:29BELL RINGS More a non-thinking problem-creator.
1:12:29 > 1:12:30- DING - Well, I can't be that bad,
1:12:30 > 1:12:34considering I got you back in her good books and back in the running.
1:12:34 > 1:12:36DING If it wasn't for your stupidity,
1:12:36 > 1:12:38I would never have been OUT of the running.
1:12:38 > 1:12:40- DING - Oh, my Lady Gaga.
1:12:40 > 1:12:43You think I'm too dumb to be deputy head girl, don't you?
1:12:43 > 1:12:44DING I didn't say that.
1:12:44 > 1:12:46- DING - You didn't have to. You know what?
1:12:46 > 1:12:49- You always underestimate me. - But...- Well, not any more.
1:12:49 > 1:12:52As of now, I am officially up for being Megatron's number two.
1:12:52 > 1:12:54- Prepare to be de-deputised, Dede. - DING
1:12:54 > 1:12:55Bring it. DING
1:12:58 > 1:13:01- Here, let me take that for you. - On it!
1:13:01 > 1:13:04- Uh, thanks, girls? - Come, take a load off.
1:13:04 > 1:13:06- A latte for the lady! - OK, what's going on?
1:13:06 > 1:13:09Nothing. Just showing you what life will be like when I'm your...
1:13:09 > 1:13:11- second in command.- Save it, Sass.
1:13:11 > 1:13:14There's only one Deputy Dede, here.
1:13:14 > 1:13:18Save it yourself, sister. Trust me, if you go with this one,
1:13:18 > 1:13:22- it will be percentages over people, all the time.- Says HER.
1:13:22 > 1:13:25The only people she's interested in are the front page of Scandalicious,
1:13:25 > 1:13:29along with a free sachet of naff nail-polish for your pet pooch.
1:13:29 > 1:13:31Oh, that is rich!
1:13:31 > 1:13:33Dede knows nothing about popular culture.
1:13:33 > 1:13:36She thinks Chipmunk is a small, furry animal!
1:13:36 > 1:13:38When clearly he's a rapper.
1:13:38 > 1:13:41Says HER. Sadie thinks the Hadron Particle Collider
1:13:41 > 1:13:43is a ride at Babington Towers!
1:13:43 > 1:13:46I don't want to hear your opinions on each other,
1:13:46 > 1:13:48I want to hear what each of YOU has to offer ME,
1:13:48 > 1:13:51and, as rule 47 in the head girl rule-book clearly states,
1:13:51 > 1:13:54you'll have to do this by preparing a 1,000 word essay
1:13:54 > 1:13:57- on why I should pick you. - Done.- Done.
1:14:06 > 1:14:09No way. Kit would never do anything that gross.
1:14:10 > 1:14:12Who told you to stop, tootsie boy?
1:14:12 > 1:14:14Work my piggies faster!
1:14:14 > 1:14:16But I've already got finger burn.
1:14:16 > 1:14:19Who cares? I'm going to have my bunions buffed after this.
1:14:19 > 1:14:22Bunions? You can get a life.
1:14:22 > 1:14:24It's your choice, but remember...
1:14:24 > 1:14:27The bunions get you backstage.
1:14:33 > 1:14:38OK. Who wants to play Ninja Warlord: The Return Of Kamutan 2?
1:14:38 > 1:14:41All right, Jakester? Jakey boy? The Jake-atron?
1:14:41 > 1:14:44- What's going on? - Going on? I don't know what you mean.
1:14:44 > 1:14:47- Are you hiding something?- Me?
1:14:47 > 1:14:49As if. Good one!
1:14:49 > 1:14:52- SOMETHING CLATTERS - What's behind the chair?
1:14:52 > 1:14:55Um... It's Roger.
1:14:55 > 1:14:57And he's ill. Feeling really poorly.
1:14:57 > 1:15:00Doesn't want to be disturbed, do you, Rog?
1:15:00 > 1:15:02- HE THUMPS TYRES - Ruff.
1:15:02 > 1:15:05Oh. OK, you want to play in the lounge, then?
1:15:05 > 1:15:08Sorry, no can do. Really busy.
1:15:08 > 1:15:09Flat out.
1:15:09 > 1:15:12Looking after Roger.
1:15:12 > 1:15:16- See you, then. - What's this doing here?
1:15:16 > 1:15:18Um...Imogen must have left it.
1:15:18 > 1:15:21You know what girls are like. Heads like sieves.
1:15:23 > 1:15:25Bye.
1:15:27 > 1:15:29Heads like sieves?!
1:15:29 > 1:15:32Insult me again and our little secret
1:15:32 > 1:15:34won't stay secret for much longer.
1:15:39 > 1:15:41'So, yeah. If you pick me, Megatron,
1:15:41 > 1:15:43'there is no way you'll be sorrylicious,
1:15:43 > 1:15:45'because A, I'm totally great to be around,
1:15:45 > 1:15:48'and B, I can give you some seriously top fashion tips,
1:15:48 > 1:15:50'and C, I'm, like, insanely...
1:15:56 > 1:15:57..organised.
1:15:57 > 1:16:00Hmm. Not bad. How many words is that?
1:16:00 > 1:16:03Oh, 35?! Deeds is going to make mincemeat out of me.
1:16:04 > 1:16:09"And so, as an addendum to my 1,000 word argument above,
1:16:09 > 1:16:12"I say to you, what is a deputy?
1:16:12 > 1:16:16"An elbow to an arm. A hinge to a door.
1:16:16 > 1:16:19"Fuel to a jet-plane and so much more.
1:16:19 > 1:16:24"I'll be your rock, your sounding board and your devoted servant."
1:16:26 > 1:16:27Very nice.
1:16:28 > 1:16:31Beat that, Jenkster.
1:16:32 > 1:16:34See what I mean?
1:16:34 > 1:16:36What do you mean all the Katy Perry tickets are gone?!
1:16:36 > 1:16:39You realise you're talking to the head girl
1:16:39 > 1:16:41of the Heather Chandler Memorial School here, don't you?
1:16:41 > 1:16:44And the head girl rule-book states categorically that...
1:16:44 > 1:16:47Hello? Hello?
1:16:48 > 1:16:51And suddenly the Jenkster is back in the game.
1:16:52 > 1:16:54Very good.
1:16:55 > 1:16:57Hmm.
1:16:57 > 1:17:01- Interesting.- And there are footnotes at the foot of the page.
1:17:01 > 1:17:05Obviously. And I have an appendix if you'd like to see it.
1:17:05 > 1:17:07I'm fine. Sadie, may I see your essay?
1:17:07 > 1:17:08With pleasure.
1:17:10 > 1:17:13Sorry about the stains. That's mushy peas and not bogies,
1:17:13 > 1:17:15and it's slightly under the word count.
1:17:15 > 1:17:18950 words under, to be precise,
1:17:18 > 1:17:21but, as they say, less is more.
1:17:21 > 1:17:24Well, I think the choice is obvious.
1:17:24 > 1:17:26Sadie, you've got the gig.
1:17:26 > 1:17:31Yes! Get in, go Sassy, go Sassy. In your face, Baxter.
1:17:31 > 1:17:34Not so full of yourself now, are you?
1:17:34 > 1:17:38But I... I worked SO hard for this.
1:17:38 > 1:17:39I really did.
1:17:40 > 1:17:43I'm sorry. This is very unprofessional of me.
1:17:43 > 1:17:45Well done, Sass.
1:17:45 > 1:17:47NEAR TO TEARS: The best person won.
1:17:47 > 1:17:50Ticket, please. For the K-to-the-P's concert.
1:17:53 > 1:17:55Good work, deputy.
1:17:55 > 1:17:58For the love of Gaga, Jenkster.
1:17:58 > 1:18:00What have you done?
1:18:07 > 1:18:09Oh...
1:18:10 > 1:18:12All that fuss for that. It's hardly aglow.
1:18:12 > 1:18:16- Whoop, whoop.- Oh, crikey. - Let's get this party started, boss.
1:18:16 > 1:18:18Take it the armbands went down well?
1:18:18 > 1:18:21- No. I haven't even been to the party yet.- What are you so happy for?
1:18:21 > 1:18:25Turns out it's not a swimming-pool party, it's a POOL pool party.
1:18:25 > 1:18:27you know, with cues and balls.
1:18:27 > 1:18:29I don't have to wear the armbands after all.
1:18:29 > 1:18:32- Well, glad it worked out for you, mate.- Just one thing. How...
1:18:32 > 1:18:34How do you play pool?
1:18:34 > 1:18:37Out. Now. Out!
1:18:37 > 1:18:39Oh, by the way, your bulb's blown.
1:18:39 > 1:18:41Oh...
1:18:42 > 1:18:45All clear, let's go.
1:18:46 > 1:18:49- Hit me with it. - Read it and weep, Danny boy.
1:18:49 > 1:18:53It's a three-part alpaca snood, with convoluted cross-stitch design.
1:18:53 > 1:18:57- Knitting heaven.- Awesome. I can't believe how cool these needles are.
1:18:57 > 1:18:58It's even better than...
1:18:58 > 1:19:00Ninja Warlord?!
1:19:00 > 1:19:03I knew it! You're a secret knitter. You dumped me for her and her...
1:19:03 > 1:19:06- alpaca!- That's a lie.
1:19:06 > 1:19:08Um... No, it's not.
1:19:08 > 1:19:12I can't believe the betrayal. You said knitting was nafftastic.
1:19:12 > 1:19:15It was. And then it wasn't.
1:19:15 > 1:19:19And then I got hooked. What could I do? I'm sorry, OK? Forgive me?
1:19:19 > 1:19:21- Never!- What if I gave you this jumper I knitted
1:19:21 > 1:19:25- for your arts-and-crafts assignment? - Done. Just one thing...
1:19:25 > 1:19:27Why has it got three arms?
1:19:27 > 1:19:29IMOGEN GASPS
1:19:29 > 1:19:32Call yourself a knitter? I don't think so.
1:19:33 > 1:19:39No! What am I supposed to do without that convoluted cross-stitch design?
1:19:44 > 1:19:46Let's never discuss this again.
1:19:46 > 1:19:48Agreed.
1:19:55 > 1:19:58OK. Arrest me.
1:19:58 > 1:20:02- You what?- I've done some really bad things in my time, but this...
1:20:02 > 1:20:05This was a new low in the Jenkins catalogue of really low lows.
1:20:05 > 1:20:08All right.
1:20:08 > 1:20:11Anything you say can and will be taken down in evidence
1:20:11 > 1:20:13and used against you. Forever.
1:20:13 > 1:20:16OK, so here's the deal. I was supposed to show Dede
1:20:16 > 1:20:19what a good friend I was by getting her the deputy head girl gig,
1:20:19 > 1:20:21but I ended up getting it myself.
1:20:21 > 1:20:24You're deputy head girl? That's brilliant!
1:20:24 > 1:20:26I bribed my way into it.
1:20:26 > 1:20:27Not brilliant.
1:20:27 > 1:20:31I know, I was a total idiot, and I treated Dede so badly.
1:20:31 > 1:20:33Well, just come clean to her.
1:20:33 > 1:20:37- Even if I do, it's still not going to get her the job.- Why not?
1:20:37 > 1:20:39Cos this goes all the way to the top, Dad.
1:20:39 > 1:20:42Megatron's the head girl and she's the one who took the bribe.
1:20:42 > 1:20:44There must be rules behind these things.
1:20:44 > 1:20:48- BELL RINGS - OMLG, you're totalistically right!
1:20:50 > 1:20:53BTW, you do know that's a Japanese click flasher light, don't you?
1:21:02 > 1:21:05Thanks again, Dad. You're a genius.
1:21:05 > 1:21:08And so, my girl, are you.
1:21:08 > 1:21:11HE LAUGHS GLEEFULLY
1:21:17 > 1:21:21Attention, please! Can we please get on with this meeting?
1:21:21 > 1:21:23It can't start until both the head girl
1:21:23 > 1:21:26and her deputy give their full attention.
1:21:26 > 1:21:28Rule 68 of the head girl rule-book...
1:21:28 > 1:21:30Looking for this?
1:21:30 > 1:21:34"Come quick, Deeds. Professor Brian Cox is enjoying a Share-a-shake
1:21:34 > 1:21:37"with Stephen Hawking in the diner."
1:21:37 > 1:21:41- Yeah. That wasn't strictly...- True? I know. How stupid do you think I am?
1:21:41 > 1:21:45- You still came.- Yah-huh. To hear your usual, garbled apology.
1:21:45 > 1:21:50- Come on, then. Out with it.- Can we please get on with this meeting?
1:21:50 > 1:21:52Of course. Dede, take a seat.
1:21:52 > 1:21:54I'm afraid rule 94 states that only head girls
1:21:54 > 1:21:58and their deputies can attend head-of-department meetings.
1:21:58 > 1:22:00That's a relief, cos Dede's the new deputy head girl.
1:22:00 > 1:22:04- What?- What? - But she can't be. It's my decision.
1:22:04 > 1:22:07Not if the current deputy quits the post. Rule 52.
1:22:07 > 1:22:10"In such a case, the second choice deputy
1:22:10 > 1:22:12- "immediately ascends to the post." - But... But...
1:22:12 > 1:22:15But you'd know that, seeing as this is your rule-book.
1:22:15 > 1:22:17But you haven't quit the post.
1:22:17 > 1:22:18I quit.
1:22:18 > 1:22:20- Seriously?- Yah-huh.
1:22:20 > 1:22:25I'm sorry I've been such a stupid, selfish and ungenerous BFF, Deeds.
1:22:25 > 1:22:27And besides, you worked so hard to get this job,
1:22:27 > 1:22:30and I only bribed Megan into giving it to me.
1:22:30 > 1:22:32- Sadie! - Look, no matter who got what or how,
1:22:32 > 1:22:35I'm not being lumbered with a deputy I didn't pick.
1:22:35 > 1:22:39Rule 98, "I'M the head girl, so it's MY decision."
1:22:39 > 1:22:43Well, you're not head girl any more, because according to rule 107,
1:22:43 > 1:22:46"A head girl who actively brings the school into disrepute
1:22:46 > 1:22:50"by engaging in larceny, felony or bribery,
1:22:50 > 1:22:54"immediately forfeits her title, which then goes to her deputy."
1:22:54 > 1:22:55- No way.- No way.- Way.
1:22:55 > 1:22:58Congratulations, Deeds. You're the new head girl.
1:22:58 > 1:23:01Zingon blasters! I'm the new head girl?
1:23:01 > 1:23:03APPLAUSE
1:23:03 > 1:23:06No...but, I... This is outrageous.
1:23:06 > 1:23:10Beat it, Megan, before I throw this book at you. Literally.
1:23:10 > 1:23:11I don't know what to say.
1:23:11 > 1:23:15Say, "Thanks for realising what a idiot you've been, Sass,
1:23:15 > 1:23:17"and how lucky you are to have a friend like me."
1:23:17 > 1:23:20No! I can't take it any more!
1:23:20 > 1:23:23Katy Perry or not, I can't possibly touch her corns.
1:23:23 > 1:23:26- Katy Perry's corns?- No! Miss V's.
1:23:26 > 1:23:29Whilst you two have been blabbering on
1:23:29 > 1:23:31about being deputy-headless girls,
1:23:31 > 1:23:35I found out that Miss V has backstage passes to Katy's concert.
1:23:35 > 1:23:39And I was going to upstage you by waving to you from the wings.
1:23:39 > 1:23:42But nothing is worth that... That footsie-based terror.
1:23:42 > 1:23:45MUSIC: PSYCHO-TYPE THEME
1:23:45 > 1:23:49- Your loss, kitty-cat.- That's it. There's no pity for the kitty.
1:23:49 > 1:23:50Seeing as Megan's got my ticket,
1:23:50 > 1:23:53which I should have given to you if I was any kind of friend,
1:23:53 > 1:23:59I guess I could indulge in a little corn-rubbing to help you get there.
1:23:59 > 1:24:03You work my verrucas and you can come to the concert, too.
1:24:03 > 1:24:05Yay. Lucky me.
1:24:29 > 1:24:33Wow. Katy's clearly got a wider fanbase than I first imagined.
1:24:33 > 1:24:36Well, when you've been around for as long as he has,
1:24:36 > 1:24:37you appeal to all sorts.
1:24:37 > 1:24:40"He"? Um, the Perrymeister's a girl?
1:24:40 > 1:24:43What are you talking about, you fools?
1:24:43 > 1:24:48KT Perri is legendary banjo-playing Klyppoden folk-singer.
1:24:48 > 1:24:51MISS V SIGHS Stuff your lug-holes.
1:24:51 > 1:24:54He goes on for hours. In Klyppoden.
1:24:54 > 1:24:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1:25:00 > 1:25:02HE SINGS IN HIS OWN LANGUAGE
1:25:04 > 1:25:05Kit!
1:25:05 > 1:25:09Oh, look. Mistaken-identity o'clock. Must dash.
1:25:16 > 1:25:20Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd