0:00:02 > 0:00:03'Hey, peeps. Remember Taylor?'
0:00:03 > 0:00:04He's my perfect guy.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06'Oh, yeah, and Ashley's too.'
0:00:06 > 0:00:09OMLG, the poor guy is dating a monster.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12- Don't talk to me.- 'Things weren't quite... Well, you'll see.'
0:00:12 > 0:00:13What's up with him?
0:00:13 > 0:00:16How were you to know he asked me to go back out with him?
0:00:16 > 0:00:17Say what?
0:00:17 > 0:00:20There is no way I'm getting into that costume with Taylor Bell.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22- Then I'll take Taylor's place. - Fine, whatever.
0:00:22 > 0:00:26I really, really like Taylor but if he doesn't like me, then that's OK.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28You can't help who you fall in love with, after all.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31It's game over now cos he's asked moose head Ashley back out.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33No, I haven't.
0:00:33 > 0:00:34'But then...'
0:00:34 > 0:00:37SCREAMING AND CHEERING
0:00:37 > 0:00:41- Just go with it.- I intend to.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43'And now we're abso-totalistically,
0:00:43 > 0:00:45'amaze-a-mungously in...'
0:00:45 > 0:00:47- Guess what?- Oh.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49It's my 18th birthday on Saturday.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52- You don't say.- Steve-O's throwing me a birthday bash.
0:00:52 > 0:00:53It's going to be awesome.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Box's DJing, Spanner's beat boxing, even Danny and Jake
0:00:56 > 0:00:58are doing me a little B-day rap duet.
0:00:58 > 0:01:02Hope you guys are going to be there to help me "partay".
0:01:02 > 0:01:03- Sure.- Yeah.- Coolio.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07You do know what this party is, don't you?
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Yeah, it's Keith's birthday party. I thought we just established this.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13No, Sass, it's the perfect time to tell your dad we're dating.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15You've kept him in the dark for way too long.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17OMGB, Taylor, that's such a good idea.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21I mean, it's brill-tastic, perfect-a-mundo, mega-mungulously...
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Horrific! I can't tell my dad we're dating.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26He got freaked out when I bought a Bieber doll.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30He thinks Taylor's a BFF like Kit, not an actual BF.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32He'll go totally OTT!
0:01:32 > 0:01:34OK, enough with the acronyms already.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38Look, Deeds, as soon as my dad finds out he'll call Taylor a wrong 'un,
0:01:38 > 0:01:40a bad boy, a rat who will break my heart.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42I know what he's like.
0:01:42 > 0:01:46I'm his baby girl, his bundle of joy. His two eyes, his world.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49- What about Danny?- Oh, yeah, he likes him too, obviously.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53But there's no way he's going to accept his little princess is
0:01:53 > 0:01:55growing up and has a boyfriend.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Steve has never called you his little princess.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00- His little grease monkey maybe. - Am I just splitting hairs?
0:02:00 > 0:02:04- I'm facing a giganticus disaster this Saturday.- This Saturday?
0:02:04 > 0:02:08- No, I wanted you to spend that day with me. It's my birth... - Deeds, focus on me.- Oh!
0:02:08 > 0:02:11Look, Sass, Steve is like the coolest dad ever.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15He eats curry for breakfast and watches Strictly. He dances to Wham!
0:02:15 > 0:02:17and knows all the words to Born This Way.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19When he found out you bought Zombie Slayer 3 online,
0:02:19 > 0:02:23he borrowed it off you. He's not going to care about you dating.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Yeah, you're right. I mean, he won't care at all.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30Cos he's cool, dating is hip and he's hip.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33- He's also right here! - OK, so about my birth...
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Hey, Daddy-O, Cool Boy, Mr...Chill.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40What do you think of dating?
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Dating? No. Awful.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Terrible. Don't do it. Never do it. I don't.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51It's just wrong, on every level. No.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59OK, guys, you know the drill.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02NOO-OOOO-OOO!
0:03:02 > 0:03:07# Won't somebody tell me why I'm always surrounded by boys?
0:03:07 > 0:03:09# Give me a break
0:03:09 > 0:03:11# They've got attitude Kind of cute
0:03:11 > 0:03:14# But when they're in trouble tricks are good
0:03:14 > 0:03:17# To save the day to save the day
0:03:17 > 0:03:19# I'd love another girl around the place
0:03:19 > 0:03:21# Could you be her?
0:03:21 > 0:03:23# Someone to back me up so I always
0:03:23 > 0:03:24# Have the last word
0:03:24 > 0:03:27# I guess it's hard to be the only girl
0:03:27 > 0:03:29# In a boys' world
0:03:30 > 0:03:32# Girl, girl
0:03:32 > 0:03:33# In a boys'...
0:03:33 > 0:03:36# I know I'm strong because I've got a positive
0:03:36 > 0:03:37# Mental attitude
0:03:37 > 0:03:40# Understanding, kind of sensitive
0:03:40 > 0:03:41# Don't want gratitude
0:03:41 > 0:03:44# I just don't wanna be the only girl
0:03:44 > 0:03:46# In a boys' world. #
0:03:46 > 0:03:49"Come see our new collection of images from the...
0:03:49 > 0:03:51"Magdelenic cloud galaxy?"
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- Magellanic. How amazing!- How boring!
0:03:54 > 0:03:56It's my birthday on Saturday
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- so I'm getting all-day passes for all my friends.- Yikes.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Lame-oid alert.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Actually, the museum is fascinating.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Actually I wasn't calling the museum lame-oid.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Organising your own B-day is. Lose-a-tron.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Miss V, do you think organising your own birthday celebrations
0:04:14 > 0:04:16is lame-oid?
0:04:16 > 0:04:20100% lame-oid, with little sprinkles of lame-oid on top.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21I assume you're asking
0:04:21 > 0:04:24because you've heard about my new party planning business
0:04:24 > 0:04:27and are considering using my services.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Vonda's Va Va Voom Dating Agency?
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Wrong card.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37It's just a little start-up. One has to diversify in this economy.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40I do everything, from little tea parties
0:04:40 > 0:04:43to fireworks and a ventriloquist.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Gottle of gear.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Gottle of gear.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52I'm working on it.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56Actually, if you want to see what I can really do,
0:04:56 > 0:04:58come to the diner on Saturday.
0:04:58 > 0:05:03I'm planning a very special birthday bash for that very special someone.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05But who?
0:05:05 > 0:05:08OMLG, it must be me!
0:05:08 > 0:05:10- Me who?- Me nobody.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14- Just singing, "Me, me, me." - Well, don't.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17The Dad/Taylor date situation just went nuclear.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20He actually thinks dating is wrong on every level.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Don't do it, never do it. I don't. It's just wrong.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27So I need some serious advice from a serious problem solver. Where's Kit?
0:05:27 > 0:05:31In the bathroom, where he's been the entire morning.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Just admiring my goat-ay in the mirr-ar.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37Yes, ladies and gargoyles, the Kitty Kat has hit "maturite".
0:05:37 > 0:05:39That's "maturity" in Italian.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41French.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43What she said.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45My voice has dropped, my pecs have popped
0:05:45 > 0:05:48and I've finally grown facial hair.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50I am "un hombre."
0:05:50 > 0:05:51A man.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55Um, OK, man, look, I really need your help -
0:05:55 > 0:05:57I haven't told Dad about the Taylor situation.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Save it, Sass. The Deed-o-poll has told me all about it.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02You haven't told your Daddy-O that Tay-Tay's your BF.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06- Exact-a-mundo, what do I do? - Suck it up. Face your fears.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09So you've got a beau, I've got a beard.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12I don't mourn the passing of my youth.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Much. It's time to be grown-up and own up.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18We're young adults now and what would a young adult do?
0:06:18 > 0:06:19Hmm.
0:06:21 > 0:06:22HE GASPS
0:06:22 > 0:06:26You told Keith we'll do a birthday rap duet at his party?
0:06:26 > 0:06:29No way, no how, no go. I am never doing that.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32It's either that or we take back Nina War Lord 4: Warrior Blood
0:06:32 > 0:06:35and use the cash to buy Keith a present.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38# Hey, Keithy boy you're his dad's apprentice
0:06:38 > 0:06:40# You help him out but not like his dentist
0:06:40 > 0:06:43# Hey, Keithy man you're like a big brother
0:06:43 > 0:06:46# That means you look after us but not like our mother. #
0:06:46 > 0:06:50- We're on...- That's not my birthday rap, is it?
0:06:50 > 0:06:51- No!- Yes.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55- He means, "Yes, it's not." - Good, cos that was rubbish.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58By the way, your tea's ready.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02OMLG, we've got to learn how to rap before Saturday.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06- The alternative is already making me cringe.- But how?- I don't know.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10Read the A To The Jay-Z Of Rap. Download a quick Kanye course.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Basically find a rap expert.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16# I'm so fly I ain't never take the train
0:07:16 > 0:07:19# Lyrics so phat everybody knows my name
0:07:19 > 0:07:21# DJ Max. #
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Now that's what I'm talking about!
0:07:28 > 0:07:29Enjoy!
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Hang on, you dragged us all the way down here for shakes?
0:07:32 > 0:07:35I thought you were heading towards a giganticus disaster with Taylor
0:07:35 > 0:07:37- and your dad.- Look, Deeds, we're all growing up.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39We're all young adults now,
0:07:39 > 0:07:41so I'm going to deal with this like a young adult.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45- So you're going to tell your dad the truth about you and Taylor then?- No!
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Lie, obviously.
0:07:47 > 0:07:48Haven't you seen Gossip Girl?
0:07:48 > 0:07:52- All young adults lie. - I hear that, sister.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54- Sadie.- Look, Deeds,
0:07:54 > 0:07:58if I tell my dad about Taylor he is going to go bonkerlistically mad.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01And he'll call Taylor a wrong 'un, a bad boy,
0:08:01 > 0:08:02a rat who will break my heart.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06So isn't it best for everyone if I tell Taylor Saturday's cancelled
0:08:06 > 0:08:08and he can go to the burger ball with his mates instead?
0:08:08 > 0:08:12- Saturday? But Taylor can't miss my... - I got your message. What's up?
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- It's about Saturday. - Keith's birthday party?
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Keith's birthday party?
0:08:17 > 0:08:18- ALL:- Yes.
0:08:18 > 0:08:22Oh, "Keith's" birthday party.
0:08:22 > 0:08:23You're going to be there, right?
0:08:23 > 0:08:26You have to be there. I'm trimming my goatee especially.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28I'll be there all right.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31I cancelled my trip to the science museum especially.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34So look, about Saturday, it's going to be...
0:08:34 > 0:08:35It's going to be awesome!
0:08:35 > 0:08:38I can't wait to meet your dad as your BF and not your BFF.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40It's a real sign of how serious we are, Sass.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42You're really special to me.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Well...
0:08:44 > 0:08:47I couldn't still do the lie thing, could I?
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Thought not.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52You know what's going to be awesome about this party, don't you?
0:08:52 > 0:08:55The music. And do you know what else?
0:08:55 > 0:08:57The people.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00- In fact, the whole vibe is just going to rock.- Crimpers.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02It is.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Give me the crimpers.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Oh, sorry, boss.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Cheers for sorting all this out, by the way. I really appreciate it.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12Don't really know how to thank you,
0:09:12 > 0:09:15but it's really important you know how much this means to me.
0:09:15 > 0:09:16You can make a speech on the day.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20Right, listen, come here, hold the crimpers here carefully.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23- A speech?- That's it, you hold that.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25You're right.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27It'll be like The King's Speech.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Only it'll be The Keith Speech.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33- Great. Shall we get back to work now? - You're joking.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36The speech is going to take all day to write.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47OK, it's time to bite the bullet
0:09:47 > 0:09:49or be shot by it. One or the other.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Wish me luck, people.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53- FROM TV:- Mario Balotelli or Wayne Rooney...
0:09:53 > 0:09:55TV GOES OFF
0:09:55 > 0:09:58Hey, what you doing? Nobody turns off the Clarkson mid-spiel, man.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00- We need to talk.- We do?
0:10:00 > 0:10:02- About dating.- Say what?
0:10:02 > 0:10:05- There's something you need to know. - I knew it.- You did?
0:10:05 > 0:10:08- Did I ever.- So you already know? Oh, cringe.- That you knew, yes.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- Huh?- About Beverley.- Beverley?
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Yes, my friend who's a girl.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Well, girlfriend, if you will.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Least I think she is. I should ask her.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Anyway, as soon as you mentioned dating this morning I was like,
0:10:21 > 0:10:24"Sadie's onto us, Bev." I didn't mean to keep it from you, love,
0:10:24 > 0:10:27- it just sort of happened. It's only been a few months.- Months?
0:10:27 > 0:10:28Did I say months?
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Oh, 16 weeks, 4 days...
0:10:30 > 0:10:347 hours and 10 minutes, not that I'm counting.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35It's just that...
0:10:35 > 0:10:39I was worried sick what I would tell you. I knew I wanted to and had to.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42What with Bev coming to the party on Saturday and everything.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Let me get this straight.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48My dad is dating.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50OM-Girlfriend!
0:10:50 > 0:10:53# Yo yo, Keith, you're not a thief you're a mechanic
0:10:53 > 0:10:55# And that rhymes with giant. #
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Stop, stop, stop. That's more Jedward than Jay-Z.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01I was rhyming. Isn't that the first rule of rapping?
0:11:01 > 0:11:04- The first rule is rapping is "there is no rule."- But that's a rule.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- So there is one.- Just let him speak.
0:11:07 > 0:11:11Rapping ain't about words on paper, it's about what's in here.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14- Your cardigan?- Your heart, man.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17- So you say what you feel? Not just what rhymes?- Now you're cooking.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20The Jakester he sees it, the Jakester believes it.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24# It ain't about fun or trying to be cool
0:11:24 > 0:11:26# It ain't about me looking better than you
0:11:26 > 0:11:28# It's just about heart and it's just about soul
0:11:28 > 0:11:30# Wow, man, you get me This guy's on a roll. #
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Wow, you're right, Danny. This guy is awesome.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44One double cream, shaka-laka shake, no cream, extra wheat grass
0:11:44 > 0:11:48and one meat feast buffalo burger - no meat, just a bun.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Mind my thank you speech.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Really? A large tip is just fine.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54It's not for you.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56It's just a little something I'm putting together
0:11:56 > 0:12:00for my party on Saturday, which I'm NOT organising myself.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03- Sadie is. - But it's Keith's party on Saturday.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07Oh, my mistake, it's "Keith's" party, obviously.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Have you got a twitch?
0:12:10 > 0:12:13Coming through, coming through, girl in a funk.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15What are you looking at, moose face?
0:12:15 > 0:12:19I don't know, but it's wearing last season's shades.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24I take it your dad wasn't pleased with the boyfriend situation.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26- She never got to tell him.- Why not?
0:12:26 > 0:12:29Because we were too busy discussing his girlfriend situation.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31No way!
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Way! Girlfriend.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36Eugh, what's that smell?
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Oh, guilty.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Now I'm a man who shaves, I need aftershave.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48It's called Roar Splash. There's a picture of a lion on the bottle.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50ROAR OF LION
0:12:50 > 0:12:51It's just hideous!
0:12:51 > 0:12:55Are we talking about Steve's girlfriend or Kit's aftershave now?
0:12:55 > 0:12:58Her name is Beverley, apparently.
0:12:58 > 0:13:03She runs a hair salon and nail bar called Curls And Cuticles
0:13:03 > 0:13:06which is where they met, even though my dad has no hair.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09OK, quotation mark overload. So what's the problem?
0:13:09 > 0:13:12The problem is, she's clearly a wrong 'un, a bad girl,
0:13:12 > 0:13:14a minx who will break his heart.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Everything you said your dad would say about Taylor then.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19It's totally different!
0:13:19 > 0:13:22- Ish.- And you know all this about her because...?
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Because I do. Call it women's intuition.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26More like a child's overreaction.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Fine, I'll prove it.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32And you must be Gail.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Yeah. Gail. That's me.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Gail Force.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38- Interesting name.- Hmm.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42What? I got flustered making the booking.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44I'm Beverley. But you can call me Sensational.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Fabulous will do.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54- Wowsers, confident much? - Anyway, what can I do for you?
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Buff, scrub, polish, pinkie polish, French polish?
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Um, the works. Anything that'll keep her talking.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06# I'm the Jakester but you can call me Jake
0:14:06 > 0:14:08# I ain't no gangster I'm doing love but not hate
0:14:08 > 0:14:11# I'm the Maxster the little triple-A charge
0:14:11 > 0:14:14# I'm a dub star and when I play I play hard. #
0:14:21 > 0:14:23OK, OK, enough.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26- What's happened to you? - I just found my inner rapper.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Well, can you pull him back, please?
0:14:28 > 0:14:31We're supposed to be doing the rap duet together, not you two.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34- I'm just going with the flow, man. - It's not working for me, man.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38- Listen, he needs to go.- But you brought him here in the first place.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40- He's your friend!- I know, I know.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43I'll tell him to go and I'll unfriend him.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- I was wrong, we can do this on our own!- Nuh-uh.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47I'm only rapping if Max raps.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50I don't want to look like a total numpkin on Saturday.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Hang on a second. So you're choosing him over me?
0:14:53 > 0:14:54No, I just meant...
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Go then. Both of you out!
0:14:57 > 0:14:59- Is he for real, man? - Danny, don't do this.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01It's done. Now go.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08- Are you seeing anyone, Bev? - Is it that obvious?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11I've just had this totally loved-up sparkle about me ever since
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- I've met him.- TMI. - It's great because he's a mechanic.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17So you can get your car fixed for free, yeah,
0:15:17 > 0:15:20- so you can really take advantage? - No, cos I can see him a lot more.
0:15:20 > 0:15:21He's his own boss, like me.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23So, what about his daughter?
0:15:23 > 0:15:27I mean, his kids, assuming he's got kids, what with him being,
0:15:27 > 0:15:29you know...old?
0:15:29 > 0:15:30I haven't met them yet.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Cos you hate kids, think they'll get in the way? A nuisance?
0:15:33 > 0:15:36And as soon as you meet us... I mean them,
0:15:36 > 0:15:38you'll dump us... I mean, him?
0:15:38 > 0:15:41No, course not, I adore kids.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44We just haven't found the right time to do the intros, you know?
0:15:44 > 0:15:48Anyway, enough about me, Gail. What about you? Have you got a boyfriend?
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Well, I mean, there is my boyfriend Taylor
0:15:50 > 0:15:53and he's just the most gorgeous guy ever.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56I mean, we're not talking normal gorgeous,
0:15:56 > 0:15:58we're talking could-be-in-a-boy-band,
0:15:58 > 0:16:01out-of-this-world gorgeous, move aside, One Direction.
0:16:02 > 0:16:08And he's so sweet and so kind and, oh, so unbelievably funny. I mean...
0:16:08 > 0:16:10He sounds smashing. All done.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Great, thank you!
0:16:12 > 0:16:14OMLG, Bev is amazing,
0:16:14 > 0:16:17she totes adores my dad and she's such a good listener.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20In fact, she's perfect stepmum-a-mondo material.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23- Do you want me to trim the ends of that weave, poppet?- Huh?
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- This isn't a weave.- There's nothing to be ashamed of, darling.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28- I ain't seen my real hair since 2002.- No!
0:16:31 > 0:16:33WHIRRING
0:16:39 > 0:16:41- Gail!- Wowsers!
0:16:41 > 0:16:42Must dash!
0:16:47 > 0:16:49What do you think to this for my speech?
0:16:49 > 0:16:50OK, fire away.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen... CLEARS THROAT
0:16:53 > 0:16:55I'd like to say a few words.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01- Which are? - I haven't got that far yet.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03You've been working on it since yesterday!
0:17:03 > 0:17:06I know, but I'm really worried about saying the wrong thing,
0:17:06 > 0:17:09like, do I thank my nan even though she won't be there
0:17:09 > 0:17:12- cos she's in Magaluf? - That'll be a no.- But then Brenda,
0:17:12 > 0:17:16her neighbour, is going and what if she tells her I didn't say nothing?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18- And what about Sadie and Danny? - What about them?
0:17:18 > 0:17:21If I thank them, I can't leave their friends out
0:17:21 > 0:17:24and if I thank their friends, my friends will get the hump.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26I think I've got speech fright.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Don't say a speech!
0:17:28 > 0:17:31Oh, I can't do that, not after all the trouble you've gone to.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34Like you said, I'm an adult now - I have to do this.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Shall we cancel the party so I don't have to?
0:17:41 > 0:17:43I met Bev and she's totalistically amazing
0:17:43 > 0:17:46and then I accidentally trashed her salon.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49She has a salon? I thought it was a nail bar.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50Does she trim goatees?
0:17:50 > 0:17:53That's not the point! Besides, you don't even have a goatee,
0:17:53 > 0:17:54you've got like two hairs!
0:17:54 > 0:17:57- Oh! Oh!- Goatee gone!
0:17:57 > 0:18:00You... You follicle assassins!
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Oh, I am such a muppet. There's only one thing I can do now.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Apologise to Bev, profusely?
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Avoid her! Until they split up.
0:18:09 > 0:18:13- Which means no party for me on Saturday.- You're kidding, right?
0:18:13 > 0:18:15You have to be at my party.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17For the love of Gaga, Deeds, it's Keith's party!
0:18:17 > 0:18:20Chillax, Sass, I won't spoil the surprise.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22I know you know it's my birthday on Saturday
0:18:22 > 0:18:24and I know you've asked Miss V to plan a party.
0:18:24 > 0:18:28Why do you think I've been writing an enormous thank you speech all week?
0:18:28 > 0:18:30By the way, I left a copy in your room.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Could you read it to see if it's too long?
0:18:32 > 0:18:34I'm happy with the 4,000 word count
0:18:34 > 0:18:36but some people might think it's indulgent.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39Wait, it's your birthday? On Saturday?
0:18:39 > 0:18:43I mean, phew-ew! Busted!
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Course it's your birthday on Saturday - I've been planning
0:18:46 > 0:18:47your surprise party.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Keith, please, I'm begging you,
0:18:49 > 0:18:52- you have to share your birthday party with Deeds on Saturday.- No.
0:18:52 > 0:18:57- This is a grown-up party. I'm 18, she's 16.- Hang on a second.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01You forgot Dede's birthday? You're one bad BFF.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05Doesn't surprise me, though. All friends turn on you at some point.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07The backstabbing backstabbers.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Dude, you are seriously not helping matters.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Look, Keith, please, I've already completely alienated
0:19:12 > 0:19:15dad's new girlfriend and I've follicly undermined Kit.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18If Dede finds out I've forgotten her birthday, I'm dead meat.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21- With everyone!- Well, tough. - Keith, please!
0:19:21 > 0:19:25She's written a 14-page thank you speech, for Gaga's sake!
0:19:26 > 0:19:30Oh, well, now you say that I wouldn't want to ruin
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Dede's special day.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Yes!
0:19:34 > 0:19:35Everybody.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38This is my, um...
0:19:38 > 0:19:42my girlfriend, well, my friend who happens to be a girl.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44A woman. Obviously.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46- Beverley.- No!
0:19:46 > 0:19:49- Bev, this is Danny.- Hi.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51- This is Keith.- All right.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53And this is Sadie.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Gail Force! She trashed my salon!
0:20:00 > 0:20:03I wanted to make sure Bev was right for you.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05For us, for everyone.
0:20:05 > 0:20:09Besides, she's the first person you've dated since...
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Since your mum died.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17Well, I, for one, would have done exactly the same thing.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Except I probably wouldn't have trashed the salon.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22And I probably would have worn a better wig.
0:20:22 > 0:20:23I'm so sorry, Sass.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25I should have handled this better.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27I should have told you from the off.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31I'm still finding my feet when it comes to this dating thingy.
0:20:31 > 0:20:32It's cool.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34We are cool, eh?
0:20:34 > 0:20:35Yuh-huh.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37I love a little family bonding.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42So, when am I going to meet this lovely boyfriend of yours?
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Boyfriend?
0:20:44 > 0:20:45He's banned Taylor from the house.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48- Ouch. That's harsh.- Until he's 50.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51- And he's grounded me so I can't see Taylor.- But why?
0:20:51 > 0:20:53He kept his girlfriend secret.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Yes, but apparently I lied about Taylor
0:20:55 > 0:20:58whereas he omitted to tell me about Bev.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Wow. You're dad should be in politics, not mechanics.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03So, Kit, thoughts?
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Oh, I'm still giving you the silent treatment.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Then why did you pick up the phone, you muppet?
0:21:09 > 0:21:11MUSIC: "All by Myself" by Celine Dion
0:21:11 > 0:21:15HE MIMES WORDS # All by myself
0:21:15 > 0:21:17# Don't wanna be
0:21:17 > 0:21:23# All by myself... #
0:21:25 > 0:21:26MUSIC STOPS
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Hey, Dad. Yo, Bev. How's it going?
0:21:29 > 0:21:30Good.
0:21:32 > 0:21:36- Your dad says you're missing your little friend.- Who, Jake?
0:21:36 > 0:21:38You're out there, you crazy woman.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41I haven't thought about him in ages.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Then why have you got a Jake made out of cushions
0:21:43 > 0:21:44in the middle of the sofa?
0:21:45 > 0:21:48I can't take it any more. I want the Jakester back.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Aww. He hasn't gone anywhere. He's still your mate.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Of course he is.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Well, then, how come he's hanging around with Max
0:21:57 > 0:21:59and rapping all the time?
0:21:59 > 0:22:01You know, perhaps he just fancied a change, eh?
0:22:01 > 0:22:03- And a change is good.- It's true.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07I've been blonde, copper and turquoise. This year.
0:22:07 > 0:22:08Yeah, well.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11But it doesn't mean to say that Jake doesn't like you anymore.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13And if your friendship is to grow like a kit car,
0:22:13 > 0:22:15from a wheel nut to a chassis...
0:22:15 > 0:22:17..or a perm from a curler to a corkscrew...
0:22:17 > 0:22:21..then you've got to accept that you can't do what you like all the time
0:22:21 > 0:22:24just cos you want to. OK?
0:22:25 > 0:22:28- I'm well good at this dad stuff, ain't I?- Genius.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30There, why don't you go
0:22:30 > 0:22:34and apply the same logic to the girl you've just locked away upstairs?
0:22:36 > 0:22:37KNOCKING
0:22:37 > 0:22:38Sass?
0:22:38 > 0:22:39KNOCKING
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Sadie, can I come in?
0:22:41 > 0:22:45You can only come in if...if I'm totally ungrounded
0:22:45 > 0:22:47and Taylor is welcome here.
0:22:47 > 0:22:48Or you've got pizza.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54No pizza.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56- You mean...?- Duh.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00- Oh, thanks, Dad.- No, thank you for being so understanding about Bev.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02It can't have been that easy.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05And I just want you to know that I am not trying to
0:23:05 > 0:23:07replace your mum, OK?
0:23:07 > 0:23:09- I could never do that.- I know.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13And I just want you to know that even though I've got a boyfriend,
0:23:13 > 0:23:15I'm still your little girl.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17My little grease monkey.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Oi, watch it.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Taylor. What sort of name's that?
0:23:20 > 0:23:22It's like a second name, isn't it?
0:23:22 > 0:23:23Dad!
0:23:29 > 0:23:30Step.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37- BOTH:- Ta-da! Happy birthday!
0:23:37 > 0:23:38Keith AND Dede?
0:23:40 > 0:23:42So, it actually is Keith's birthday today?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44No.
0:23:44 > 0:23:45Well, yeah.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48- But this was meant for you too... - Busted.- ..ish.
0:23:48 > 0:23:53Sass, I cancelled a whole day at the Carston Science Museum for this.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56The Magellanic Cloud Galaxy Exhibition
0:23:56 > 0:23:57is only there for two days.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Lucky I've got all-day passes to see it tomorrow, isn't it?
0:24:00 > 0:24:01Happy birthday, dudes.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04- Yay!- Kit, I got you a little something too, actually.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Please don't say it passes for the museum.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08It's a shaving kit, Kit.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10I'm sorry I dissed your goatee.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Yay!
0:24:13 > 0:24:14- Hey, man.- 'Sup?
0:24:14 > 0:24:17I just wanted to let you know that I'm totally cool with you
0:24:17 > 0:24:19- hanging out with Max.- You are?
0:24:19 > 0:24:23My man Jake don't need your approval to hang out with DJ Max.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26I know, I'm sorry, OK. Jake can hang around with whoever he wants.
0:24:26 > 0:24:30Just let me know when you want to spend some time with me.
0:24:30 > 0:24:31Now's good.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34- Seriously?- Yeah, of course. You can help us with the rap.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36- I thought we had established that I can't rap.- No.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38But you can press play on our backing track.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40No probs.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41Word.
0:24:41 > 0:24:42Don't say, "Word."
0:24:44 > 0:24:47So, I say a big thanks to all of you for coming to help me
0:24:47 > 0:24:52celebrate this very special birthday. But what is a birthday?
0:24:52 > 0:24:55A passing of another year? A milestone on the road of life?
0:24:55 > 0:24:57All these and more.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00But, most importantly, however,
0:25:00 > 0:25:05I think it is the best excuse to get all the people you love in one room.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Is that my speech?
0:25:07 > 0:25:08Sadie? Sadie!
0:25:08 > 0:25:13And, as Captain Skylo said to Emperor Zhe'hevideen
0:25:13 > 0:25:16in season six, episode four of Space Cargo,
0:25:16 > 0:25:20flerg, barg, de'moveder zhern.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Total muppet. Unbelievable.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Which means have a good night. Cheers.
0:25:25 > 0:25:26CHEERING
0:25:28 > 0:25:30He did well.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32OK, deep breaths.
0:25:32 > 0:25:33You can do this.
0:25:35 > 0:25:39Dad? Taylor, this is my dad, you know my dad.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41And, Dad, this is Taylor. He's my...
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Squeeze, beau, love-bunny, boyfriend.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46I get the picture.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49- It's lovely to meet you, Taylor. - You too, sir.- This is Bev.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51Pleased to meet you, Bev.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54OMLG, it was that easy.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55I've met Bev, he's met Taylor.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Could this not get any more fantastalistic?
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Well, seeing as we are doing introductions,
0:26:01 > 0:26:05I'd like you all to meet my daughter Ashley.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08BOTH: You?
0:26:08 > 0:26:09That would be a no.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37# Yo, Keith, man
0:26:37 > 0:26:39- # Come and get it - Man
0:26:39 > 0:26:42# Keep it real, top dude Don't let loose of your wheels
0:26:42 > 0:26:44# Man
0:26:44 > 0:26:46# It's his party today and we all showed up
0:26:46 > 0:26:48# Cos we love him so much now he's all growed up
0:26:48 > 0:26:51# Yo, Keith, happy birthday, bruv
0:26:51 > 0:26:53# Yo, Keithy Yo, yo
0:26:53 > 0:26:55# Happy birthday Yo, yo
0:26:55 > 0:26:57# Yo, Keithy Yo, yo
0:26:57 > 0:26:59# Happy birthday Yo, yo. #
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd