0:00:02 > 0:00:04Where's Kit?! I've a Kit-shaped emergency
0:00:04 > 0:00:07measuring 4.4 million million on the Richter scale.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09Duh. He's with his mum at the recording studio in the mall.
0:00:09 > 0:00:13Obvs. They're recording their version of Don't Go Breaking My Heart
0:00:13 > 0:00:16- for Mother's Day tomorrow. - # Don't go breaking my heart... #
0:00:16 > 0:00:17How lame-atronic.
0:00:17 > 0:00:21I need him. Dad is taking me to the Classic Cadillac Car Show
0:00:21 > 0:00:26in Codgington for Mother's Day, and I'm having a fashion disaster.
0:00:26 > 0:00:30- Correction, you ARE a fashion disaster.- Funny(!)
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Anyway, of course you have to wear driving gloves to a classic
0:00:33 > 0:00:36car show, even if you don't drive. But I don't know what to wear.
0:00:36 > 0:00:40The black faux-leather ones? Or the charcoal-grey lace ones?
0:00:40 > 0:00:46Or the brown, suede, tweed ones? Or do I wear the elbow-length satins?
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Or the fingerless cream mittens?
0:00:48 > 0:00:50What? I panic bought.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54OK, stop already.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Firstly, you could wear washing-up gloves for all I care.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00Secondly, didn't you get the Stella McCartney memo?
0:01:00 > 0:01:01Nobody's wearing gloves this season.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04They're, like, so over they've gone to Over Town and retired.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Strike that. Died.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Of course, you're right, gloves are so over. Why didn't I know that?
0:01:09 > 0:01:13Don't answer that. Oh, well, problem solved.
0:01:13 > 0:01:17Strap in, peeps, because the Jenkins are revving up their engines,
0:01:17 > 0:01:20and it's going to be a vroom-tastic ride all the way to...
0:01:20 > 0:01:21The salon!
0:01:21 > 0:01:25Sadie J, you are about to experience the most fun, fabulous,
0:01:25 > 0:01:28follicle-busting Mother's Day of your life - with moi!
0:01:28 > 0:01:31But I'm off to the classic car show at Codgington tomorrow with my dad.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32Not any more.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Gary Gilmot called - he offered your dad a spare ticket to the VIP
0:01:35 > 0:01:38diesel tent at the car show with a certain Jeremy Clarkson.
0:01:38 > 0:01:39I told Steve he's got to go.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42You know how he feels about the Jezmeister. He's gone already.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44- He's what? - I said, "Don't fret about Saz.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47"What 15-year-old girl is going to want to spend the afternoon
0:01:47 > 0:01:51- "looking at old cars?"- Me! And they're not old, they're vintage.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52- Look, Bev...- I said,
0:01:52 > 0:01:54"I'm sure she'd much prefer to spend the day at Curls & Cuticles
0:01:54 > 0:01:58"with me." We always have a bit of a do - mums and daughters, half price,
0:01:58 > 0:02:01mani and pedi spa with optional extensions and French tips.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03That sounds fabu-licious.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Fabu-licious doesn't even come near it, doesn't touch it.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08We've got over 1,000 likes on whataweave.com.
0:02:08 > 0:02:09The reviews are ferosh!
0:02:09 > 0:02:11I'm telling you, it is beyond popular.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14I'm lucky we can fit us in, and it's my salon!
0:02:14 > 0:02:16It kicks off at two, please don't be late, love.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19I've got Tammy the brow girl coming in to do brow lifts.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21I'll see you there.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24But...Mother's Day is mine and Dad's thing. It's the law.
0:02:26 > 0:02:27Family law.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32I mean, how dare she tell him to go off without me?!
0:02:32 > 0:02:34She's only been dating him for five minutes.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37It's not like she's my... I mean, I'm not her...
0:02:38 > 0:02:42O-M-G. Bev's trying to take the place of my mum.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46No-o-o-o-o!
0:02:46 > 0:02:48# Won't somebody tell me why
0:02:48 > 0:02:51# I'm always surrounded by boys?
0:02:51 > 0:02:53# Give me a break
0:02:53 > 0:02:55# They've got attitude Kind of cute
0:02:55 > 0:02:58# But when they're in trouble Tricks are good
0:02:58 > 0:03:01# To save the day, to save the day
0:03:01 > 0:03:03# I'd love another girl around the place
0:03:03 > 0:03:05# Could you be her?
0:03:05 > 0:03:07# Someone to back me up so I always
0:03:07 > 0:03:08# Have the last word
0:03:08 > 0:03:11# I guess it's hard to be the only girl
0:03:11 > 0:03:14# In a boys' world
0:03:14 > 0:03:17# Girl, girl
0:03:17 > 0:03:18# In a boys'...
0:03:18 > 0:03:20# I know I'm strong because I've got a positive
0:03:20 > 0:03:22# Mental attitude
0:03:22 > 0:03:24# Understanding, kind of sensitive
0:03:24 > 0:03:25# Don't want gratitude
0:03:25 > 0:03:28# I just don't wanna be the only girl
0:03:28 > 0:03:30# In a boys' world. #
0:03:31 > 0:03:33It keeps going to voicemail.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Why is the phone coverage in Codgington so cruddy?!
0:03:35 > 0:03:38As soon as I get hold of my dad, he's going to go bonkilistic
0:03:38 > 0:03:41when he realises how not OK this is.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43- Look...- I mean, can you believe the cheek of the woman?
0:03:43 > 0:03:46It's not enough that she came in here and tried to prettify
0:03:46 > 0:03:51the place with her cutesy cushions and fancy figurines and potpourri.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53No, she wants to be my mum as well.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55You said you loved how nice she made it here.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58You said it was great to have the smell of fresh air
0:03:58 > 0:03:59- and not feet.- I did not!
0:03:59 > 0:04:03- MOBILE PINGS - It's Dad. He's sensed my distress.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06- Yeah, it's kind of coming out in waves.- Exactly.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09He'll be telling me to change the locks and get on the next
0:04:09 > 0:04:12train to Codgington and cut Bev out of our lives for ever.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27- What?- It looks like he wants you to spend Mother's Day with Bev.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29She's brainwashed him, clearly.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32That's the only possible explanation.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36She's literally washed his brain in her manicure Mother's Day madness.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39I don't get why you're so upset. All she did was invite you to the salon.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41That's sort of sweet, isn't it?
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Sort of sweet? Will you stop being so gullible, Taylor?
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Today, she's hijacking the car show, tomorrow,
0:04:47 > 0:04:49- she's ruining my life. - You think I'm gullible?
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Yes, and nice, and naive and way too trusting.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54And you always see the good in people
0:04:54 > 0:04:57because you're the good guy, but you need to grow a backbone
0:04:57 > 0:05:00and realise that not everyone is like you!
0:05:00 > 0:05:03I'm sorry that you feel that way, but going crazy isn't going to help.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07You're going to have to do the big thing and go to the salon.
0:05:07 > 0:05:08I'll do the big thing all right.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12I'll do the biggest thing I can think of.
0:05:16 > 0:05:20I did the homework last week, so now it's your turn. That's the deal.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24Yeah, but you did potato printing. This is algebra. It's not fair.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26That's not the point.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Look, my dad said he'll buy us a new Ninja War Lord game
0:05:28 > 0:05:32if we get a C or higher in maths. Don't let me down.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- But Dion...- Keith, where's my dad?
0:05:38 > 0:05:41- I see what you're saying, but Dion...- That C in maths is looking
0:05:41 > 0:05:44unlikely and, as a consolation, he has to buy a new Ninja War Lord game
0:05:44 > 0:05:49for Jake's... I mean, my Victoria sponge in home economics.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Steve's gone to the Cadillac car show early
0:05:51 > 0:05:53and I'm about to be dumped.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57Look, I don't even know who Kiera is. I've never even met her.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00And I wasn't even at the La-La Liquid Lounge last night,
0:06:00 > 0:06:02I was at home watching Bear Grylls on the box with Boxy.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05We had a chicken tikka masala and an early night, I swear.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08I can't believe you're being such a wet wipe about this.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Just tell her any old guff.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Like, you never had feelings for Kiera,
0:06:13 > 0:06:16and, "I've got such a Dion-shaped space in my heart
0:06:16 > 0:06:19"that only you can fill."
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- You really think that will work? DION:- 'Keith?'
0:06:21 > 0:06:27Look, look, I couldn't care less about Kiera because I've got...
0:06:27 > 0:06:31a Dion-shaped space in my heart that nobody else can fill.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34- 'I'm sorry I shouted.' - She's sorry she shouted.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40- She forgives me totally. - 'I feel closer to you then ever.'
0:06:40 > 0:06:45She feels closer to me than ever! Yeah, fantastic. All right, see you.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Danny, you're a genius. You turned that right around.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53You can speak woman. You're fluent.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58I guess I've learnt a thing or two from living with Sadie
0:06:58 > 0:07:01- all these years.- But Sadie is even more blokey than me.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05Well, maybe I've read a problem page or two. In Sadie's magazines.
0:07:05 > 0:07:10- Problem page or two?- Don't judge me. - Don't worry, I'm not.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13I think it's brilliant. You have to teach me this stuff.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17No way, I don't want to waste my time teaching you when I can
0:07:17 > 0:07:20waste my time doing something infinitely more satisfying.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Like armpit farts.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26How about I buy you that Ninja War Lord game you were just
0:07:26 > 0:07:27going on about?
0:07:30 > 0:07:32I think we have a deal, Mr Woods.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Jake, have you seen Sas? I need her. I need her, like, now.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Before now. Yesterday, even.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45I texted, voice-mailed, pinged and e-mailed her with zero response.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48- She's out.- That's it, I give up.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51I've been planning this experiment for four weeks
0:07:51 > 0:07:54and Babcock bailed on me this morning, and now Sadie's gone AWOL.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57I'm never going to win the Young Rationalist of the Year
0:07:57 > 0:07:59- (Midlands) Award. - What's the experiment?
0:07:59 > 0:08:00Well, in layman's terms,
0:08:00 > 0:08:04it's to prove the fundamental improbability - nay,
0:08:04 > 0:08:07impossibility - of neuro-linguistic programming as applied to
0:08:07 > 0:08:11- the concept of inter-human manipulation.- In Jakeman's terms?
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Basically, it's mind control.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17Asking someone a series of questions containing hidden messages
0:08:17 > 0:08:20which are supposed to make you answer in a specific way.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23- I'm out to show it's a whole load of poop.- I still don't get it.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Well, it doesn't matter anyway, because without a volunteer,
0:08:25 > 0:08:27I'm sunk.
0:08:27 > 0:08:32Unless... No. Maybe... No.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35- Perhaps you could be my volunteer? - No can do.
0:08:35 > 0:08:40I've got this much algebra homework with this much time to do it in
0:08:40 > 0:08:44and this much maths ability to do it with. Basically, I'm very busy.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Algebra? I love algebra.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50It's like going to a really great party except with
0:08:50 > 0:08:52loads of people, there are loads of numbers and letters.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54I could do algebra all day.
0:08:54 > 0:08:59- Including this low-level homework of yours.- Are you trying to bribe me?
0:08:59 > 0:09:04- Do you want me to bribe you?- Yes. - Then I'm bribing you.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11OK, peeps. Here's how we're going to roll with this one.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Taylor told me I should do the big thing.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16You have to do the big thing and go to the salon.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19So, that's exactly what I'm going to do.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23Oh, except when he says "big thing", I do think he means the small,
0:09:23 > 0:09:26reasonable thing, whereas when I say "big thing",
0:09:26 > 0:09:30I tend to mean the abso-tastically unforgivable big thing.
0:09:45 > 0:09:51Monster-licious, right? Right. I haven't even started yet.
0:10:00 > 0:10:05OK. Question one. Which of these pictures are you drawn to?
0:10:05 > 0:10:09The one which you can SEE in front of you while you
0:10:09 > 0:10:13FISH around for the answer, SAILING over the possibilities?
0:10:13 > 0:10:17- Or the other one? - The boat, definitely the boat.
0:10:17 > 0:10:21- Are you sure? You don't want to change your mind?- No.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25OK. That was the first one. Let's try again.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Which of these do you prefer?
0:10:28 > 0:10:31The one which BLOSSOMS in front of your eyes,
0:10:31 > 0:10:36which LEAVES you feeling relaxed, ready to BRANCH out?
0:10:36 > 0:10:41- Or the other one?- The tree. I feel really drawn to it.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47'Jeez, he's so suggestible. He's like a medical curiosity.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51'I never thought it would work, but I can control him utterly.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54'I could make him my miniature human slave.
0:10:54 > 0:10:58'Of course, I wouldn't do that. I definitely won't do that.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01'It would be so wrong to do that. Or would it?'
0:11:10 > 0:11:12..Tessa Trumpington...
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Job done!
0:11:31 > 0:11:34What, don't look at me like that. You're supposed to be on my side.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Besides, she'll get over it.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38SHE SOBS
0:11:38 > 0:11:41Eventually.
0:11:41 > 0:11:42There, there.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45What kind of person would do such a thing just before Mother's Day?
0:11:45 > 0:11:50- One of our busiest times of the year.- Nobody I know. Shhh!
0:11:50 > 0:11:53How am I going to face my customers with them
0:11:53 > 0:11:54thinking this nonsense is true?
0:11:54 > 0:12:00I don't even own a dog to have bitten Tessa. I don't even know Tessa!
0:12:01 > 0:12:05- Have you had many cancellations for your Mother's Day do?- Loads.
0:12:07 > 0:12:08Get in!
0:12:08 > 0:12:14- I just think the easiest thing would be to cancel it altogether.- Result!
0:12:14 > 0:12:17So that's what you're going to do, yeah?
0:12:19 > 0:12:22No. Why should I?
0:12:22 > 0:12:24So what if the other mums and daughters don't want to come?
0:12:24 > 0:12:27That's their loss, it doesn't mean that you, me,
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Nash can't have a fab day.
0:12:29 > 0:12:35- Just the three of us.- Just the three of us. Excuse me one second.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Agh-h-h-h-h!
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Thanks for the mud pack, Jake.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42What would you like to do next?
0:12:42 > 0:12:46Something that keeps you AHEAD of the game, maybe?
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Or stops you from RUBBING anyone up the wrong way?
0:12:49 > 0:12:53Actually, I have a really strong urge to give someone a head massage.
0:12:53 > 0:12:58Well, it's your choice, so if you're sure...
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Operation Cancel Mother's Day Part Deux is go, go, go.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09So either I unleash a swarm of giant rats after hours,
0:13:09 > 0:13:14- or I flood it with...- Sas, stop. No more making crazy plans.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Please, I can't take it any more.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Just tell Bev you don't want to spend Mother's Day with her
0:13:19 > 0:13:21and you'd prefer to spend it with your dad. She'll be fine.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25No, she won't, Beverley is made of nail files, iron tongs
0:13:25 > 0:13:28and razor-edged hair scissors. She's not going to take this lying down.
0:13:28 > 0:13:29- But...- But nothing.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32When are you going to realise - just stop with the good-guy stuff!
0:13:32 > 0:13:36- Not everyone is as spongily soft as you are.- Fine, I'm done helping.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38I'm sorry I can't be the tough guy, but that's not who I am.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42- If you don't like it, you know what to do.- No, I do like it. I do.
0:13:44 > 0:13:49I know, I'm an idiot. He's right, I'm wrong. Cheers for that.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Bev, there's something I need to tell you.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58Well, make it snappy, cos I've got a whole lot of mud pack party packs
0:13:58 > 0:14:00- to collect for tomorrow's celebrations.- Yeah, about that.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03You see, I... I've been looking forward to going to
0:14:03 > 0:14:05the Cadillac car show with my dad for literalistically months.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09When you told him to go without me, I was kind of upset.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11I know I should have spoken to you direct,
0:14:11 > 0:14:14but instead I scuppered Mother's Day at the salon.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16- You put Tessa Trumpington up to it? - No!- Oh.
0:14:16 > 0:14:20- ..I am Tessa Trumpington.- What?
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Why would you do such a thing?
0:14:22 > 0:14:26Dad and I have spent Mother's Day together every year since Mum died.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29In fact, he's been my mum on Mother's Day since Mum died.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33Suddenly, you come along and told him to go off without me.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36It was like, hello, you're not my mum, so stop trying to be,
0:14:36 > 0:14:39cos you can't replace her, not ever. She's my mum.
0:14:39 > 0:14:40Oh, right.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45- Of course.- I'm sorry, you must really hate me.- Not at all.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49I understand. My mum died when I was about your age.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51She did?
0:14:51 > 0:14:53She did?
0:14:53 > 0:14:56That's why I like to pull out all the stops every Mother's Day,
0:14:56 > 0:14:58put on a happy face, a new bodacious weave
0:14:58 > 0:15:02and a heck of a party, because that's my way of saying thank you to my mum.
0:15:04 > 0:15:09- Even though she isn't here. - And I ruined it.- Kind of.
0:15:09 > 0:15:14- But don't beat yourself up about it. - Bev, I'm so sorry.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16I'm going to make this up to you.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18In fact, put your most bodacious new weave on,
0:15:18 > 0:15:21cos I'm going to throw you the best Mother's Day ever.
0:15:24 > 0:15:29OK, lesson one. Girls love to be asked how they're feeling.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33- Doesn't that just give them free licence to moan at you?- Precisely.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36That's where the sensitive, listening face comes in.
0:15:36 > 0:15:41And the caring but vague responses. Such as, "Oh, that's so bad.
0:15:41 > 0:15:46- "Oh, that's really awful." - This is pure gold.- Lesson two.
0:15:46 > 0:15:50Girls like you to look at what they're wearing before you say
0:15:50 > 0:15:54- they look nice.- What? I know nothing about girls' clothes.- I know.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56That's why it's key you use non-confrontational,
0:15:56 > 0:16:00indeterminate responses such as, "Oh, yes, that's really nice,
0:16:00 > 0:16:03"but maybe you could add a jacket, hat or handbag."
0:16:03 > 0:16:06As they accessorise their outfit, they think you've helped
0:16:06 > 0:16:08but not hindered the process.
0:16:08 > 0:16:09This is blowing my mind, man.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13It's like you're on the five-lane super-fast female highway
0:16:13 > 0:16:15and I can't even get off the drive.
0:16:17 > 0:16:18If I run out of conversation,
0:16:18 > 0:16:23- I usually just start talking about motorbikes.- Schoolboy error.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Yeah, I know. I need you to help me with my date tonight.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29If I'm going to keep Dion and not mess things up again,
0:16:29 > 0:16:33I need you to be there. She's already on the brink of dumping me again.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35No way! How can I be there?
0:16:35 > 0:16:37You may have conned your way into another date with her,
0:16:37 > 0:16:40but she's not going to hang around if you bring me on the date.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43I've got it.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46I'll be in the kitchen with Dion and you'll be in the garage
0:16:46 > 0:16:51sending me information in real time on my Bluetooth.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55No way, that wasn't part of the plan.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58I give you the lessons, you give me the game.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02What, this game?
0:17:02 > 0:17:06Oh, I was actually thinking about giving it to the Save The Puppies
0:17:06 > 0:17:10on the high street. I mean, I reckon they deserve it more, don't you?
0:17:10 > 0:17:13I've always found puppies to be really helpful.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15They won't let you down in your hour of need.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19You know what I'm saying?
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Why are you putting on a party for my mum?
0:17:26 > 0:17:30- Well, it's Mother's Day, so... - Number one, she's not your mother.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Number two, Steve begged her -
0:17:33 > 0:17:36we're talking bended knee and everything -
0:17:36 > 0:17:37to invite you to the salon.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41She wanted to spend Mother's Day with me, because guess what?
0:17:41 > 0:17:44I'm her daughter and you're not.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46- But she said...- Number three,
0:17:46 > 0:17:50me and mum don't want you poking your nose into our lives.
0:17:50 > 0:17:55You're not part of our family, and you never will be. Don't you get it?
0:17:55 > 0:18:00- It's Steve who Mum likes, not you.- Girls?
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Everything all right?
0:18:02 > 0:18:06- No. Why didn't you just say if you didn't want me at the salon?- What?
0:18:06 > 0:18:11- Of course I wanted you there. - That's not what you told me.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14I didn't mean it like that, Ashlii.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18I was uncomfortable about the situation initially,
0:18:18 > 0:18:21but then Steve really wanted you there
0:18:21 > 0:18:25and I thought you really wanted to be there, so I...went with it.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27You "went with it".
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Well, thanks a bunch, Bev, but you know what?
0:18:30 > 0:18:33It doesn't matter, because you don't want to be my mum,
0:18:33 > 0:18:38and I have no desire to be your daughter, so if you don't mind,
0:18:38 > 0:18:42I would like to spend my Mother's Day party alone.
0:18:42 > 0:18:43Please.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Right.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Knick-knacks, figurines! All Bev's, of course.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Got to clear every sign of her from the house.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07Come on, guys, there's a cushion and a cat, and what I think is a bird.
0:19:07 > 0:19:12Hey, no buy, no touch. Come on, guys. This is quality staff.
0:19:12 > 0:19:17- This was...made in China - wow! - I'll take the lot.- Say what?
0:19:17 > 0:19:21- Yeah, it's for my new crib.- And you think that this would look nice?
0:19:21 > 0:19:26Don't question me, lady. So I like a penguin in a little suit, so what?
0:19:26 > 0:19:29- Me and my crew have eclectic taste.- Whatevs.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31How about we say 20 for the lot?
0:19:31 > 0:19:33How about we say five, and you stop mucking me about?
0:19:33 > 0:19:36I'm a busy guy, I've got things to be and places to do.
0:19:36 > 0:19:40- I mean, the other way around. Get it? - Yeah, I got it, I got it. Rude much?
0:19:40 > 0:19:45- It's a deal.- Thank you very... Whatever! Lose-atron.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48MUSIC: "Gangnam Style" by Psy
0:19:53 > 0:19:56# Op nam gangnam style. #
0:19:56 > 0:19:57Oh, well. At least that means
0:19:57 > 0:20:00the Jenkins household is officially de-Bev-alised.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03The house has been totally re-Bev-alised!
0:20:03 > 0:20:05I don't understand how!
0:20:05 > 0:20:09Don't question it, lady. I had to do what I had to do.
0:20:09 > 0:20:14Head exploding in T minus three, two, one.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16You were the idiot guy in the diner?
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Yep, you like me better for it?
0:20:19 > 0:20:22No, you goon, I love you just the way you are.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24I'm so sorry I had a go at you for being a good guy.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28- It's good you're a good guy. Better than good.- Good.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32Now, tell me why you brought all this stuff back into my house!
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Simple. Cos I wanted you to see that Bev is here to stay
0:20:35 > 0:20:37and it's not something to fight against.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39She's super fun, she loves your dad, even though
0:20:39 > 0:20:42his only two topics of conversation are cars and how to fix them.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45And it's another girl in the Jenkins household -
0:20:45 > 0:20:46isn't that what you wanted?
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Yeah, but she didn't want me at the salon in the first place.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52You mean, the way you didn't want to be there in the first place either?
0:20:52 > 0:20:55- Well, yeah, but... - But nothing, you're quits.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58It's crazy to criticise her for feeling the exact same way
0:20:58 > 0:20:59that you did.
0:20:59 > 0:21:04- Yeah, I guess so. So what should I do?- Speak to her.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12The kitchen is just through there, babe. I thought we'd dine in tonight.
0:21:12 > 0:21:13I'm doing chicken a la Keith.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25- Danny, do you read me? Over. - Read you. Over.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27- Roger that.- No, Roger's upstairs.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31No, roger that. They're the words they use on walkie-talkies.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34- Even though these ain't walkie-talkies.- Just get on with it!
0:21:36 > 0:21:40# If I was your boyfriend I'd never let you go
0:21:40 > 0:21:45# Keep you on my arm, girl You'd never be alone
0:21:45 > 0:21:49# I could be a gentleman Anything you want
0:21:49 > 0:21:54# If I was your boyfriend I'd never let you go
0:21:54 > 0:21:57# Never let you go
0:21:57 > 0:22:00# Never let you go
0:22:07 > 0:22:10# If I was your boyfriend
0:22:18 > 0:22:19# If I was your boyfriend. #
0:22:19 > 0:22:21I couldn't, could I?
0:22:21 > 0:22:24Yeah, why not?
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Dion deserves somebody way better than a bonehead like Keith, anyway.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32You sure you don't want a slice? You did make it.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34No, I just really wanted to bake it.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40Now, I had a sudden urge to apply for a year-long subscription to
0:22:40 > 0:22:44the New Scientist magazine, even though I don't read it.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47And now I'm really itching to wash those dirty feet of yours
0:22:47 > 0:22:53- by hand, individually.- OK, Jake, stop! I've done a terrible thing.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57I've been controlling your mind and making you do chores for me.
0:22:57 > 0:23:01- No, you haven't.- And I've loved it, every minute of it.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03All that control, I felt like Alan Sugar
0:23:03 > 0:23:06and Duncan Bannatyne all rolled into one. Say what?
0:23:06 > 0:23:08You haven't been controlling me.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12I was just doing what you asked so you could prove your experiment.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14And then do my algebra homework.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17But the whole point of the experiment was to prove that
0:23:17 > 0:23:23- mind control doesn't work! - Ahh, right. Wait a minute.
0:23:23 > 0:23:27So you've been making me your skivvy all day long for no reason?
0:23:27 > 0:23:28Yes, you muppet!
0:23:28 > 0:23:31You're like a guinea pig who puts on his own lipstick just to ruin
0:23:31 > 0:23:34the results. You've ruined everything.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37You can do your own algebra homework.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Danny, come in, over.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Danny, do you read me? Over.
0:23:50 > 0:23:57Danny? Danny? Danny, are you there? Over. Danny?
0:24:03 > 0:24:07So, did you see the footie last night?
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Please, you don't understand.
0:24:13 > 0:24:18That Ninja War Lord game is dependent on that algebra homework being done.
0:24:18 > 0:24:19Tough.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Guess who just bagged themselves
0:24:21 > 0:24:24a copy of Ninja War Lord VII: The Sword of Crackackaboom?
0:24:24 > 0:24:29- Close the hatch on the way out, Baxter.- Fine.
0:24:34 > 0:24:39Leave it. Show me some skin. Awesome.
0:24:45 > 0:24:49The thing is, I really regret what I did and I wish I hadn't done it.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51I'm not sure there's a word to sum up what I'm trying to say.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55How about, "I've been a right numpty, and I'm sorry"?
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Bit harsh, but that should cover it.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00- Bev, I'm really sorry I've been right numpty.- So have I.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02I owe you an apology too.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04I should never have listened to your father
0:25:04 > 0:25:07when he said we should spend Mother's Day together in the salon.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09I should have trusted my own instincts.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11They've never let me down - apart from that time when
0:25:11 > 0:25:14I had a high-top wedge for the best part of 1992.
0:25:16 > 0:25:20In my heart of hearts, I just knew it was too soon. And why would you?
0:25:20 > 0:25:24- I'm not your mum.- He's like a puppy, he gets overexcited.- I know.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26- It's cute, though, isn't it? - If you say so.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28The thing is, he hasn't had a girlfriend
0:25:28 > 0:25:30in, like, a billion years,
0:25:30 > 0:25:33so I kind of thought he'd never get another one.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Partly because I've seen how he eats pasta.
0:25:35 > 0:25:39And partly because I don't want him to replace my mum.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Sadie, I don't ever want to replace your mum.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45In fact, I can't ever replace her.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49No matter what happens between me and Steve, she's your mum.
0:25:49 > 0:25:50And always will be.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54I'm sure wherever she is now, she's ever so proud of you.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Look, love, I just want to be friends.
0:25:57 > 0:26:01Not mother and daughter, friends. What do you think?
0:26:01 > 0:26:04I think that sounds like a good idea.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08BTW, if you ever do anything to harm my salon again,
0:26:08 > 0:26:11I will give you the mother of all mullets as a punishment, OK?
0:26:13 > 0:26:16See, I told you she was tough as stick-on nails.
0:26:16 > 0:26:17Nice new weave, by the way.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:26:40 > 0:26:42# Oooh-hoo!
0:26:42 > 0:26:45# Nobody knows it
0:26:45 > 0:26:47# Nobody kno-o-ows
0:26:47 > 0:26:50# Right from the start
0:26:50 > 0:26:51# I gave you my heart
0:26:51 > 0:26:54# Ohhh-hoh!
0:26:54 > 0:26:56# I gave you my heart! #