0:00:02 > 0:00:05Guess what, peeps? One Direction are playing the Brancombe Bowl
0:00:05 > 0:00:07and I'm about to book my ticket. Jealous much?
0:00:07 > 0:00:10I'm afraid your card's been declined, Miss Jenkins.
0:00:10 > 0:00:14Looks like you've maxed out your Maxi Plus account. Unlucky.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18How could I have maxed out my card?
0:00:18 > 0:00:21Man, this place is quiet.
0:00:21 > 0:00:22There are only...
0:00:22 > 0:00:25323 tickets left.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Maybe the bag, hat, jacket and pumps you bought yesterday
0:00:27 > 0:00:29had something to do with it.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Oh, yeah, maybe.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Three movies, two albums,
0:00:34 > 0:00:3719 singles, a video of Josh Hutcherson...
0:00:37 > 0:00:40Dede, this isn't helping. And there's only...
0:00:40 > 0:00:43299 tickets left now.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Ah, Kit's here, thank Gaga! Kit,
0:00:46 > 0:00:48you will not believe what's happened to me today.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51- I bet I can beat it. - Oh, I doubt that, you see,
0:00:51 > 0:00:54because I was on hold for 57 minutes waiting to get 1D tickets,
0:00:54 > 0:00:57and then when the misery-guts girl finally picked up,
0:00:57 > 0:01:01she told me that I'd maxed out my card. And there's only...
0:01:01 > 0:01:04287 tickets left. Beat that.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07My mum and dad just told me they're getting divorced.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10They've been "unhappy" for a long time
0:01:10 > 0:01:13and they've finally decided to call it a day.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15My mum's going to stay here
0:01:15 > 0:01:19but my dad's got a job in Brazil and he's leaving.
0:01:19 > 0:01:20This weekend.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23OK, you win.
0:01:23 > 0:01:28# Won't somebody tell me why I'm always surrounded by boys?
0:01:28 > 0:01:30# Give me a break!
0:01:30 > 0:01:33# They've got attitude Kind of cute
0:01:33 > 0:01:38# But when they're in trouble Takes a girl to save the day
0:01:38 > 0:01:40# I'd love another girl around the place
0:01:40 > 0:01:42# You should be her
0:01:42 > 0:01:45# Someone to back me up so I always have the last word.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48# I guess it's hard to be the only girl
0:01:48 > 0:01:50# In a boys' world!
0:01:50 > 0:01:53# Girl, girl
0:01:53 > 0:01:54# In a boys' world
0:01:54 > 0:01:59# I know I'm stronger cos I've got a positive mental attitude
0:01:59 > 0:02:02# Understanding, kind and sensitive Don't want gratitude
0:02:02 > 0:02:08# I just don't want to be the only girl in a boys' world! #
0:02:08 > 0:02:10I just don't get it. They still really love each other.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Cognitively, loving someone and being "in love",
0:02:13 > 0:02:16is totally diametric.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Dude, you are seriously not helping matters
0:02:19 > 0:02:21and there's only 100 1D tickets left!
0:02:21 > 0:02:24I mean, I'm all for giving a mate a shoulder to cry on,
0:02:24 > 0:02:26but this is just torture.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29To top all that, my mum wants me to stay here,
0:02:29 > 0:02:32but my dad wants me to move to Brazil with him.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35But...you're not going to, right?
0:02:35 > 0:02:36I don't know.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38How would I commute to my salsacise classes?
0:02:38 > 0:02:41That's at least a 6,000 mile round trip.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45Actually, it's an 11,770 mile trip,
0:02:45 > 0:02:48But with the stopovers and the added stress of the long, tearful,
0:02:48 > 0:02:50overly sentimentalised goodbye...
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Dedes, I need to get some of these 1D tickets before they sell out,
0:02:53 > 0:02:57but with you blabbering on to Kit with your ridiculous comments,
0:02:57 > 0:02:59I'm going to be here till Christmas with him!
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Face facts, give up and realise
0:03:02 > 0:03:05that you are terrible at this emotional stuff.
0:03:05 > 0:03:11That's a lie! I've simply been trying to compartmentalise Kit's emotions.
0:03:11 > 0:03:12I rest my case, Dede,
0:03:12 > 0:03:15you are banned from the rest of the conversation.
0:03:15 > 0:03:16I wonder if you could help me.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20It's Ashlii's day off and I need some assistance for a few hours.
0:03:20 > 0:03:21Why? It's empty in here.
0:03:21 > 0:03:26That's because Finkel Lonogotolitis, our Klyperdan president,
0:03:26 > 0:03:27just...passed away.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29And I'm operating a skeleton service.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31No pun intended.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35I'm trying to organise a fitting tribute for...Finkel,
0:03:35 > 0:03:38but my emotions keep on overtaking me.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40I need somebody to help me through this.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43I'm in. Let's do this, Ms V.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45You think I stink at the emotional stuff, then think again.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48MS V SOBS
0:03:48 > 0:03:51I give her 16 minutes max.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Which is more than the number of 1D tickets left!
0:03:54 > 0:03:5757, 56, 55...
0:03:57 > 0:03:58Hiya, Sass, love,
0:03:58 > 0:04:01I've come to take our kid shopping. Fancy a browse?
0:04:01 > 0:04:03I told you, I don't want to go anywhere!
0:04:03 > 0:04:04Just leave me alone!
0:04:06 > 0:04:08I can't do right for doing wrong at the moment.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12Kit's in pieces. I'd give anything to cheer him up, but what can I do?
0:04:13 > 0:04:15I couldn't...
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Could I?
0:04:17 > 0:04:20So that's two tickets, One Direction, on the 27th.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Sure is!
0:04:22 > 0:04:24This is such a lovely idea.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27I know it's not going to make things better,
0:04:27 > 0:04:29but at least it'll put a smile on his face.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Of course it will, Kell!
0:04:31 > 0:04:33What? Don't judge me.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Kit'll totalistically love it.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40SOLEMN MUSIC PLAYS
0:04:40 > 0:04:41Ahem!
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Ohhh!
0:04:44 > 0:04:45NEEDLE SCRAPES AND MUSIC STOPS
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Sorry!
0:04:47 > 0:04:50I just wanted to let you know that I've sorted the candles
0:04:50 > 0:04:52for the candlelit procession,
0:04:52 > 0:04:54a TV for the commemorative DVD
0:04:54 > 0:04:56showing President Finkel's inauguration,
0:04:56 > 0:04:58and a flower display in the shape of a pig,
0:04:58 > 0:05:01in honour of the nation's national animal.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Ticking off your little jobs on your list
0:05:04 > 0:05:06is not providing emotional support.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08No?
0:05:08 > 0:05:10I mean, of course not.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12But it does help, though, right?
0:05:12 > 0:05:13Undoubtedly, but...
0:05:13 > 0:05:16being there for someone when the sadness is too much,
0:05:16 > 0:05:19so that they can bear the pain no longer,
0:05:19 > 0:05:21THAT'S emotional support.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23SHE SOBS
0:05:23 > 0:05:25There, there.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Isn't it a comfort to know
0:05:27 > 0:05:30that President Finkel lived a long and valued life?
0:05:30 > 0:05:32That's the problem.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36How will my great nation of Klyperda
0:05:36 > 0:05:38replace an irreplaceable leader?
0:05:38 > 0:05:40With a democratic election.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42SHE SOBS
0:05:43 > 0:05:48Look, Ms V, I know you're really, really upset right now,
0:05:48 > 0:05:51but I promise you the pain will lessen over time.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54Especially since he wasn't directly related to you.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57That's nonsense! Finkel was like a father to me.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58To everyone.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02Yes, but the fact is, he wasn't actually your father.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Facts! We're not dealing with facts.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07We are dealing with FEELINGS.
0:06:07 > 0:06:08SHE SOBS
0:06:13 > 0:06:16Why do I have to babysit for Danny and Jake on my day off?
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Let Sadie do it. He's her brother.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19Oh, give over, Ash!
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Stevo and I would like you to get to know the boys,
0:06:22 > 0:06:24so while he's away is the perfect opportunity.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- You get to know them! - I already do.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29Besides, I've got this weave to restyle.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31You ever seen a beehive with bangs like that?
0:06:31 > 0:06:33So you get to do what you want
0:06:33 > 0:06:37while I have to hang out with two five-foot maniacs for six hours?!
0:06:37 > 0:06:40They are not maniacs, they are good boys.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Besides, they'll be no trouble, I promise.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44- Promise?- In fact,
0:06:44 > 0:06:48I'm so sure, that if they do turn out to be a pain in the banana,
0:06:48 > 0:06:51I will buy you that ra-ra skirt you've been banging on about
0:06:51 > 0:06:54- down at Pasha's Boutique. - Bribery, Mother?
0:06:57 > 0:06:59I love it. Deal.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Good luck!
0:07:02 > 0:07:06Unlucky, Bevvers. Danny and Jake were born bad.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09I'll be in that chi-chi little ra-ra before you can say...
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Oh...my...Gaga.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13OK, what's the deal?
0:07:13 > 0:07:16Nothing, except we have to be on our best behaviour
0:07:16 > 0:07:17for the next 24 hours for Bev,
0:07:17 > 0:07:20otherwise Dad won't take us paintballing at the weekend,
0:07:20 > 0:07:21which means no...
0:07:21 > 0:07:23BOTH: ..mega-splurge pump guns...
0:07:23 > 0:07:25..with a ten-metre range
0:07:25 > 0:07:28and enough paint to take down a Turbo Ranger.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30God! I knew you were up to something.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34Well, my mum's just promised me a new ra-ra skirt if you're bad.
0:07:34 > 0:07:39So, there'll be no best behaviour on my watch, boys.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41- Want a bet? - Bring it.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Consider it brung.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Look, boss, I'm on it today. All over it, in fact.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51By the time you get back I'll have that Fiat resprayed perfectly.
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Really?
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Awesome!
0:07:54 > 0:07:55Thanks, Steve.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Right, see ya.
0:07:58 > 0:07:59Nan!
0:07:59 > 0:08:01What're you doing here?
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Maureen Wilmslow's only gone and banned me
0:08:04 > 0:08:06from the Senior Sunshine Club.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08- No!- She says I'm too wild and I don't act me age.
0:08:10 > 0:08:11She has got a point.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14That's why I thought, instead of staying out all night and partying
0:08:14 > 0:08:17and getting all tattooed up like I usually do when I'm down,
0:08:17 > 0:08:20I thought I'd come here and be a proper gran to you.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23I don't want a proper gran. I like you the way you are.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27That's very kind of you, sweetheart.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Mmwah! Mmwah!
0:08:30 > 0:08:34But it won't get me back into the Senior Sunshine Club, will it?
0:08:34 > 0:08:35No, but...
0:08:35 > 0:08:38baking scones and making tea for my boy might.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40If I can learn how.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42I've got a really big job on, Nan.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Steve said if I can finish the respray on this Fiat properly,
0:08:45 > 0:08:47- he'll give me a bonus.- Oh, right.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Well, never mind then.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53I'm sure you'll make a grand job of it, son.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00No, it's all right, Nan, you can stay.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Stormin'!
0:09:02 > 0:09:06You won't even know I'm here, baby doll, I swear.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Just don't get in the...
0:09:10 > 0:09:11Oops.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14..way.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Check it out, peeps. S to the A to the D-I-E
0:09:20 > 0:09:24just got her 1D tickets. Go Sassy, go Sassy, go Sassy.
0:09:24 > 0:09:25How great is this?
0:09:25 > 0:09:27I get to see my favourite fivesome
0:09:27 > 0:09:31whilst cheering up my mega-mungously miserable BFF.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Result!
0:09:32 > 0:09:33BOTH: Surprise!
0:09:33 > 0:09:35There you go, poppet.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39Two front row tickets for you and Sass to go and see One Direction.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41- Over the moon. - I told you he'd love it!
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Go Harry, go Niall, go Zayn...
0:09:43 > 0:09:47I don't care about going to see some stupid boy band!
0:09:47 > 0:09:49I have bigger things to worry about at the moment.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53- Dad wants me to move halfway across the world!- I know, love,
0:09:53 > 0:09:54it's a big decision.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Sadie just thought this would cheer you up.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Oh, I bet she did.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Of all the selfish, self-centred things you've ever done,
0:10:02 > 0:10:03this has to be the worst, Jenkins.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Using my parents' divorce to get your own way?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07No, I...
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Everything isn't always about you, Sass.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22- Oi, watch it!- Haven't you ever played human skittles?
0:10:22 > 0:10:27It's awesome. You hit somebody so hard with the ball, they fall over.
0:10:27 > 0:10:28BOTH: Cool!
0:10:28 > 0:10:30- Danny first. - Hang on.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32I know your game.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35This ball could miss you and smash a window or break an ornament.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37So? We're having fun.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40And my mum and your dad want us to get to know each other...
0:10:40 > 0:10:41step-bro!
0:10:41 > 0:10:45- Just chuck it at me like you want to leave a bruise.- No!
0:10:45 > 0:10:49Bruises and broken stuff equals bad behaviour.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Which means a bad report from Bev.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Which means no paintballing.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55Sorry.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58You're not getting your way this time.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Oh, you guys are so lame.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03Stomp all you want, lady, but the only person in this room
0:11:03 > 0:11:05who's going to behave badly
0:11:05 > 0:11:06is YOU.
0:11:08 > 0:11:09Actually...
0:11:09 > 0:11:11that's not a bad idea.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14OK, so are we done here?
0:11:14 > 0:11:15No...
0:11:15 > 0:11:20It's a whole day of mourning for Finkel.
0:11:20 > 0:11:21SHE GIVES LOUD BLAST
0:11:21 > 0:11:27I'm expecting the entire local Klyperdan population any minute.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30- Say what?! - There they are now.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Go, Delia, console each and every one of them.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Give them some tender words.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41I simply don't have the energy.
0:11:41 > 0:11:42Are you kidding?!
0:11:42 > 0:11:44There's at least eight of them.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Eight different people with eight different reactions to the loss.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51That's 64 variables I have to take into account
0:11:51 > 0:11:53before I've even said one word to them.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Even then there's no guarantee they'll take my practical advice
0:11:56 > 0:12:00on grieving or loss. Instead they'll just sit around spouting nonsense
0:12:00 > 0:12:03and emptying their tearducts all day,
0:12:03 > 0:12:04like YOU!
0:12:04 > 0:12:09Why do you have to quantify and compartmentalise everything, Delia?
0:12:09 > 0:12:14Are you scared of feeling those tough emotions?
0:12:14 > 0:12:18I'm not scared of feeling any tough emotions.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Not that I've had to feel any.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22My mum and dad still being together
0:12:22 > 0:12:25and 100% of my immediate family still being alive
0:12:25 > 0:12:29and...never having fallen in love to fall out of it...
0:12:29 > 0:12:32or even having a pet goldfish die.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Nemo was older than me!
0:12:34 > 0:12:36OMGB! Sadie is totalistically right -
0:12:36 > 0:12:39I'm rubbish at dealing with this sort of stuff
0:12:39 > 0:12:41because I've never had to deal with it.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Sounds about right.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44So, go,
0:12:44 > 0:12:50- console my fellow Klyperdans. - SHE SPEAKS KLYPERDAN
0:12:52 > 0:12:53Um...
0:12:53 > 0:12:56Wow, is that the time?
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Horribly uncomfortable o'clock. Must dash.
0:13:00 > 0:13:01SHE SOBS
0:13:03 > 0:13:05OK, Bev, crisis alert!
0:13:05 > 0:13:06Whassup?
0:13:06 > 0:13:09I want these One Direction tickets, but I'm maxed out my Maxi account
0:13:09 > 0:13:13and then Kit told me that Kelly and Barry were doing the old
0:13:13 > 0:13:16D-I-V-O-R-C-E thing and Kelly wanted to cheer Kit up,
0:13:16 > 0:13:19so I suggested taking him to 1D. Check it out, peeps!
0:13:19 > 0:13:23But it was more for me than for him. Kit found out and went ka-boom.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26I don't care about some stupid boy band!
0:13:26 > 0:13:29He told me I was super-duper selfish and spiteful and stormed off.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32- What do I do?- Blimey, that was a mouthful!
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Oh, hey, Bet. What's with the housecoat and headscarf?
0:13:35 > 0:13:39This is what proper grannies wear, silly,
0:13:39 > 0:13:41when they bake scones.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44Are those scones supposed to smoke like that?
0:13:44 > 0:13:46I have no idea.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48So anyway, what should I do?
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Kit went totally ballistic at me.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55It was like an EastEnders cliffhanger with a Corrie accent!
0:13:55 > 0:13:57I'm not surprised. You bang on about tickets
0:13:57 > 0:13:59and your best mate's about to lose his dad?
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Barry's not dying, Bev, he's just moving to Brazil.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04It's still a terrible situation, love.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Kit feels torn in two right now.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10He wants his mum AND his dad, but because Barry's off to Brazil,
0:14:10 > 0:14:13he feels like he's got to make a choice.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15- So...- So,
0:14:15 > 0:14:18you've got to be there for Kit 100%.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22You've got to show him that he can be there for his mum and his dad,
0:14:22 > 0:14:24even if he is going halfway around the world.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26You're totally right.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29And I thought Delia was the emotional imbecile.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Turns out I'm the one who's been a mammoth idiot.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39Oh, it's brilliant. I am the man.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Keithy, your tea's getting cold.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45Keith!
0:14:45 > 0:14:46Your tea!
0:14:48 > 0:14:51- Did you say something, Nan? - I certainly did.
0:14:53 > 0:14:54Tuck in.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02It's awful, innit?
0:15:02 > 0:15:06Oh, I'm rubbish at this gran stuff, ain't I?
0:15:06 > 0:15:07Actually, it's not bad.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09It's not bad at all.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12In fact, it's pretty nice.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15I told you I could do this gran stuff.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18I'll be back in the Senior Sunshine Club before you can say,
0:15:18 > 0:15:20"Maureen Wilmslow looks like a bullfrog."
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Nans don't punch, Nan.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26No, right. Sorry, love.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Well, I'll just head back to the kitchen
0:15:29 > 0:15:33and pop another batch in, shall I? Where's me tray?
0:15:34 > 0:15:35See you, Nan.
0:15:38 > 0:15:39Nan, it's stuck.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44It's all right, you can just say it was done with love.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46It's not all right!
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Steve ain't going to give me a bonus if I've ruined the car.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52I was just trying to be a proper gran.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54But you don't cook scones and you don't wear housecoats!
0:15:54 > 0:15:58- You DJ and teach boxercise. - Yeah, but...
0:15:58 > 0:15:59But nothing.
0:15:59 > 0:16:00Just go.
0:16:04 > 0:16:05RINGING TONE
0:16:07 > 0:16:09PHONE RINGS
0:16:09 > 0:16:11If this is about those stupid concert tickets,
0:16:11 > 0:16:13- I'm hanging up. - It's not, I swear. Hear that?
0:16:13 > 0:16:16That is the sound of me ripping them up.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19I don't even want to go. This is about me and you
0:16:19 > 0:16:21- and how I haven't been there for you properly.- Really?
0:16:21 > 0:16:26Yeah, look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being such a fool.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28It's really hard, your parents breaking up,
0:16:28 > 0:16:29because you feel you have to choose.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32And I just want you to know that I'm here for you
0:16:32 > 0:16:34and I really think you can be there for your dad.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36No way!
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Way! I mean, so Brazil is halfway around the world,
0:16:38 > 0:16:41but with video calling and email and text and Ping,
0:16:41 > 0:16:43who needs to be in the same room these days?
0:16:43 > 0:16:45I am so glad you said that, Sass.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48I've been worrying about it for days.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50My mum will have her family here, but my dad will have no-one.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Well, now he's got you.
0:16:54 > 0:16:59I failed Ms V, just like I failed Kit. You were right,
0:16:59 > 0:17:01I stink at this emotional stuff.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02You think that's bad?
0:17:02 > 0:17:06I just tore up two tickets to go and see One Direction
0:17:06 > 0:17:09to prove to Kit that his friendship meant more to me than anything.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12What? But that's fantastalistic!
0:17:12 > 0:17:15If someone as fickle, shallow and utterly self-motivated as you
0:17:15 > 0:17:20can turn your back on your favourite boy band just to show Kit you care,
0:17:20 > 0:17:24then I have got to woman-up and move on from this irrational state
0:17:24 > 0:17:26of fear and denial about my emotions.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29Sadie J, you're amazing!
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Did you hear that? I'm amazing.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40That's right. "The Jenkster is A to the mazing.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43"The Jenk-a-lenk has booked the train to "Mazing" Town."
0:17:43 > 0:17:46The Jenkster is a nightmare!
0:17:46 > 0:17:48"The Jenkster is a..." Wait, what?
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Your words of wisdom to my son
0:17:50 > 0:17:53have made him want to be there for his dad!
0:17:53 > 0:17:56That...That's a good thing, isn't it?
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Not when it's made him decide to move to Brazil!
0:17:58 > 0:18:00What? I never said that!
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Oh, really?
0:18:02 > 0:18:03Cos he said you said...
0:18:03 > 0:18:06With video calling and email and text and Ping...
0:18:06 > 0:18:08"..Who needs to be in the same room any more?"
0:18:08 > 0:18:11He's booked his flight, Sass!
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Oh, my Lady Gaga...
0:18:15 > 0:18:17OK, Bev, I really need...
0:18:17 > 0:18:18Wowzer!
0:18:18 > 0:18:19Impressive, huh?
0:18:19 > 0:18:23That is a very fine weave, Beverly.
0:18:23 > 0:18:24Ain't it just?
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Bev, I hate to break it to you,
0:18:26 > 0:18:28but your so-called advice I gave to my BFF
0:18:28 > 0:18:31has made him want to move to Brazil.
0:18:31 > 0:18:32No, it didn't.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34So now I need some more advice to...
0:18:34 > 0:18:35What?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Sass, Kit's got his own mind.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41He obviously knows his mum will be fine,
0:18:41 > 0:18:43but his dad needs him in Brazil.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45And besides, no-one can tell Kit,
0:18:45 > 0:18:48or anyone else, for that matter, what to do.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51We are who we are. We go where we want, we do what we want to do.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54If you don't, you're just not being true to yourself.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Do you really think so, Bev?
0:18:56 > 0:18:58I know so, Elizabeth.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02- Would I be wearing this shade of cerise if I was lying?- Nah.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06So wait, hang-a-lang a minute.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09If you're saying what I think you're saying,
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Kit should go to Brazil...
0:19:11 > 0:19:13and I should...let him go.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17See? You're not such a mammoth idiot after all.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Cool water bomb, huh?
0:19:23 > 0:19:28Imagine what a mess I'd make of my fierce hair and chi-chi outfit.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31I'd be officially bombed out.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35Yeah, but that one moment of... pure pleasure
0:19:35 > 0:19:40would equal a weekend of misery and no paintballing.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Did I mention it's not full of water?
0:19:42 > 0:19:44It's full of CUSTARD.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Kind of like one big paintball bullet.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50Save it, Summers, we're staying strong.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Which means we're not going to custard-balloon you.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55I didn't ask you to, doofus.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Are you crazy?!
0:20:06 > 0:20:09No, I'm clever.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12MUM! DANNY AND JAKE JUST CUSTARD-BOMBED ME!
0:20:12 > 0:20:15Sorry, guys, but there's a ra-ra skirt in Pasha's Boutique
0:20:15 > 0:20:17with my name on it.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20You just wrecked our changes of ever going paintballing!
0:20:21 > 0:20:24This...means...war.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28No!
0:20:28 > 0:20:30No! NOO-OO-OOO!
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Ohhh! Ohhh!
0:20:32 > 0:20:34MUUU-UUU-UUUM!
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Time out! Time out!
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Put your weapons down!
0:20:40 > 0:20:41See?
0:20:41 > 0:20:44I told you they were maniacs.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46- What have you go to say for yourselves?- Careful, Mum,
0:20:46 > 0:20:48they're, like, so devious.
0:20:48 > 0:20:52Not as devious as you trying to custard-bomb yourself.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55Dad said that if we were on our best behaviour for the next 24 hours,
0:20:55 > 0:20:56he'd take us paintballing.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00BOTH: And we'd hire mega-splurge pump guns with a 10-metre range
0:21:00 > 0:21:03and enough paint to take down a Turbo Ranger.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05I know!
0:21:05 > 0:21:07And she wanted to make us bad so she could get her...
0:21:07 > 0:21:09You know?
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Of course I did. Your dad told me. That's why I struck a deal with Ash
0:21:12 > 0:21:16to buy here that ra-ra skirt if you misbehaved.
0:21:16 > 0:21:17Cos I knew you wouldn't!
0:21:17 > 0:21:20They still feathered and slimed me, what have you got to say to that?!
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Look, why don't we all just get cleaned up
0:21:23 > 0:21:25and then go paintballing this afternoon?
0:21:25 > 0:21:27BOTH: Awesome!
0:21:27 > 0:21:30So I take it I can go to Pasha's and get that ra-ra then?
0:21:30 > 0:21:34As if? 40 quid for a bit of fluffy fabric? Get real!
0:21:35 > 0:21:39Besides, the boys are going to need someone to shoot the paintballs at.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41- Cool!- Awesome!
0:21:43 > 0:21:45I was way too harsh on you earlier.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47You were only trying your best at being a granny.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Look, it's all fine, darlin'.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51No, it's not. Family comes first.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53That's why I've made you
0:21:53 > 0:21:56your own little OAP corner.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58That's very kind of you, sweetheart,
0:21:58 > 0:22:01but, um, I'm afraid I've got meself a new life.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03And...
0:22:03 > 0:22:05a lovely new weave.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11If I'm not being who I am, I'm not being true to myself, am I?
0:22:11 > 0:22:14There's gratitude for ya. You wrecked that respray for me
0:22:14 > 0:22:16and instead of putting it right,
0:22:16 > 0:22:19I was out getting all this lot because I felt guilty.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Chillax, Keithy.
0:22:21 > 0:22:25Your old nan may be pants at baking scones,
0:22:25 > 0:22:28but she's a dab hand with a spraygun.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32- Really?- Yeah! How do you think my monster truck looks the way it does?
0:22:32 > 0:22:34They don't sell 'em in hot pink, I'll have you know.
0:22:34 > 0:22:38Now, toss me a pair of those overalls and we'll have it done in a jiffy.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Whooo! It's good to be back.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44Right, come on, let's be 'aving ya!
0:22:49 > 0:22:50Ms V, I just want to say
0:22:50 > 0:22:53that I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you in your time of need.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56But now I'm ready to take on the emotional strain
0:22:56 > 0:22:59that losing Finkel has caused you.
0:22:59 > 0:23:04Don't even mention that two-faced ditchwater slime-monkey!
0:23:04 > 0:23:05ALL GASP
0:23:05 > 0:23:07- NEEDLE SCRATCHES - He's not even dead!
0:23:07 > 0:23:11It's all over the Klyperdan press.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13He is living it up on the Isle of Wight,
0:23:13 > 0:23:16using stolen resources from our Bank of Klyperda,
0:23:16 > 0:23:20in which I have two life-savings and one hedge fund!
0:23:20 > 0:23:22- Ah.- Exactly.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24SHE SCREAMS ANGRILY
0:23:24 > 0:23:26ALL YELL ANGRILY
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Sadie, I did it.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38I manned up.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41I actually offered to be Ms V's emotional rock,
0:23:41 > 0:23:43crying and all.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45But luckily she didn't need me because Finkel's dodgy.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48He's not even dead. Phew!
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Never mind all that. Kit's moving to Brazil with his dad.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53What? No!
0:23:53 > 0:23:55OMLG!
0:23:55 > 0:23:58This is what emotional pain feels like.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00No wonder I avoided it for so long.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Dede, this isn't about you, it's about...
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Me.
0:24:04 > 0:24:05Oh, Kit!
0:24:05 > 0:24:07You can't leave!
0:24:07 > 0:24:10I know I haven't been there as your friend,
0:24:10 > 0:24:11but we can talk things through.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Just...once this pain stops.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18- We need you!- What we need is to support Kit,
0:24:18 > 0:24:20no matter what decision he makes.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Right.
0:24:21 > 0:24:22Yeah.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24What she said.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Thanks for helping me make such a tough decision, Sass.
0:24:27 > 0:24:28You're the best.
0:24:28 > 0:24:29You're both the best.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31But...
0:24:31 > 0:24:33all good things have to come to an end.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Like Space Cargo.
0:24:37 > 0:24:38And cheesy fries.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40What?
0:24:40 > 0:24:42When I'm sad, I get hungry.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Your dad's here, Christopher.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48This is it!
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Arrivederci, mi amore!
0:24:57 > 0:24:58Au revoir, mon ami!
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Auf wiedersehen, pet.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Ciao. Bye, my Kitty-cats.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Love, you've got a plane to catch.
0:25:04 > 0:25:05Sorry.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Ciao.
0:25:09 > 0:25:10GIRLS SOB
0:25:32 > 0:25:34You OK?
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Yeah, fine.
0:25:36 > 0:25:37You?
0:25:50 > 0:25:52MS V SOBS
0:25:56 > 0:25:58SHE SOBS
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:26:21 > 0:26:23So, what's new, girlfriends?
0:26:23 > 0:26:27- Since you talked to us two hours ago? Not much!- How about you?
0:26:27 > 0:26:31Well, I just signed up for a new salsasize class. In Brazil!
0:26:31 > 0:26:35Who would have thought that the Latin American exercise craze
0:26:35 > 0:26:38- originated here?- In Latin America(!)
0:26:38 > 0:26:42- So, did you have a good time? - Totallistically. I even made
0:26:42 > 0:26:47two new BFFs - Sadie and Dede, meet Sadelia and Dedania!
0:26:51 > 0:26:53# You'll find us chasin' the sun. #