0:00:02 > 0:00:03I've got the best news since the discovery
0:00:03 > 0:00:06of the Higgs boson particle! You'll never believe...!
0:00:06 > 0:00:08MUSIC: "Laserlight" by Jessie J
0:00:12 > 0:00:13Whoa!
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Hi, Callum. Hi!
0:00:17 > 0:00:19So, what's the good news?
0:00:19 > 0:00:23What? Oh, that, yeah.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25I won the Young Geneticist of the Year Award!
0:00:25 > 0:00:27You know, for my work deciphering
0:00:27 > 0:00:29the relationship between the complex peptide...?
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Enrique Iglesias! Dede, that's brilliant!
0:00:32 > 0:00:34You wanted to win this award your whole life. Take that, genetics.
0:00:34 > 0:00:39- Whoo!- Yeah, it's kind of good news, I guess.
0:00:39 > 0:00:40Kind of?
0:00:40 > 0:00:42OK, Dede, quit with the Callum sad face.
0:00:42 > 0:00:47You cannot still be hung up on this guy. It's been...for ever.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Nine days, seven hours, three minutes and 45 seconds.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Not that I've been counting, and not that he cares.
0:00:53 > 0:00:57- He doesn't even know I exist. - Callum don't know anyone exist!
0:00:57 > 0:01:00He's a lethal combination, good looking and vain.
0:01:00 > 0:01:05- He's like self-eating chocolate. - Point taken, just one little thing.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08- I still want to date him!- OK, OK!
0:01:08 > 0:01:12Stop with the focus on the fit fella and start with the focus on the fun.
0:01:12 > 0:01:13Your type of fun!
0:01:13 > 0:01:17You are the winner of the Young Gymnast of the Ear Award.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21- Young Geneticist of the YEAR Award. - Even better!
0:01:21 > 0:01:24That's true, and the award is being presented
0:01:24 > 0:01:28by my all-time favourite geneticist, Dr Valdis Viazani.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Valdis Viazani?
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Why are you talking about my VV?
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Your VV?
0:01:33 > 0:01:36We are very, very, very close relation.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39She is my second cousin Vandra's sister's step-aunt
0:01:39 > 0:01:42three times removed, and she's coming to stay here.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45She's got to present some award or other,
0:01:45 > 0:01:47but mainly, she is here for rodeo,
0:01:47 > 0:01:52because we are going cowboy crazy at the Y Club,
0:01:52 > 0:01:56with a line dance-off and a bucking bronco.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Ride 'em, cowgirls!
0:01:58 > 0:02:00No way! Could I get an intro?
0:02:00 > 0:02:03- That'd be beyond amazing!- Of course.
0:02:03 > 0:02:07Whenever I think of VV, I think of you, Delia.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09You have so much in common.
0:02:09 > 0:02:14You're like two little schnudel peas in one schnudel pod.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18What? Me and a Nobel Prize-winner?
0:02:18 > 0:02:19No way!
0:02:21 > 0:02:22Way!
0:02:25 > 0:02:30- I'm like that?- Like two schnudel peas in a schnudel pod.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Just like you, Delia, her work is everything.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37She doesn't socialise, she doesn't exercise, she never left home,
0:02:37 > 0:02:38she never had a boyfriend.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42- Never had a boyfriend?!- Nope.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45You can't save the world AND have a life, Delia.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48No-o-o-o-o!
0:02:48 > 0:02:49# Won't somebody tell me why
0:02:49 > 0:02:52# I'm always surrounded by boys?
0:02:52 > 0:02:55# Give me a break
0:02:55 > 0:02:57# They've got attitude Kind of cute
0:02:57 > 0:03:00# But when they're in trouble Takes a girl
0:03:00 > 0:03:02# To save the day, to save the day
0:03:02 > 0:03:06# I'd love another girl Around the place
0:03:06 > 0:03:07# Could you be her?
0:03:07 > 0:03:09# Someone to back me up so I always
0:03:09 > 0:03:10# Have the last word
0:03:10 > 0:03:13# I guess it's hard To be the only girl
0:03:13 > 0:03:16# In a boys' world
0:03:16 > 0:03:18# Girl, girl
0:03:18 > 0:03:19# In a boys' world
0:03:19 > 0:03:22# I know I'm strong because I've got a positive
0:03:22 > 0:03:24# Mental attitude
0:03:24 > 0:03:26# Understanding, kind and sensitive
0:03:26 > 0:03:27# Don't want gratitude
0:03:27 > 0:03:30# I just don't wanna be The only girl
0:03:30 > 0:03:33# In a boys' world. #
0:03:33 > 0:03:36'If you've just joined us, Delia Baxter is playing for a chance
0:03:36 > 0:03:39'to win a relationship with Callum Caulfield.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42'All she has to do is answer the next question correctly.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44- 'Delia, are you ready?'- Yes.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46'OK, the question is...'
0:03:50 > 0:03:53That's easy, just one. It's February.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55'Is that the right answer?
0:03:57 > 0:04:00'That's the wrong answer.'
0:04:00 > 0:04:02What? No, that was the right answer!
0:04:02 > 0:04:06'All the months have 28 days, but some have two or three more!
0:04:06 > 0:04:10'You'll have to say goodbye, Delia, but you don't leave with nothing.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13'You win a lifetime of being as scientifically successful
0:04:13 > 0:04:17'but as socially inept as Dr Valdis Viazani!'
0:04:20 > 0:04:22DEDE PANTS
0:04:24 > 0:04:25Not on my watch!
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Rico, sorry I'm late, I was, erm...
0:04:30 > 0:04:34- Buying me a present for our 10-month anniversary tomorrow?- T-tomorrow?
0:04:34 > 0:04:37I mean, of course it's tomorrow!
0:04:37 > 0:04:41- Yeah, of course I was getting you a present!- OK, well, erm, cool.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Well, I'm going to go catch some waves,
0:04:44 > 0:04:46that's if I can find a new leash.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48See you guys tomorrow.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- Don't tell me you forgot your anniversary?- Me forget?
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Of course I forgot.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58And Taylor gives the best presents ever!
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Last month, he mashed up a digital video megamix of all
0:05:01 > 0:05:05of our best bits underscored by a dubstep track that he wrote himself.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12But you forgot again and ended up making him
0:05:12 > 0:05:15an origami duck out of loo paper! I remember!
0:05:16 > 0:05:18I can't take it any more!
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Taylor is the present king!
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Actually, I'm the present king. The answer is staring you in the mouth.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28- He said he wants a leash, no? Then get him a leash.- You're right!
0:05:28 > 0:05:31I'll get him a leash. What's a leash?
0:05:31 > 0:05:32Are you imbecilios?
0:05:32 > 0:05:37- It's rope for tie a bow-wow! - Taylor doesn't have a dog!
0:05:37 > 0:05:41But he did say he was going to go catch some waves.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43- PHONE CHIMES - There it is!
0:05:43 > 0:05:45I knew it, a surfer's leash!
0:05:45 > 0:05:47It's an actual thing, an actual real thing,
0:05:47 > 0:05:51- I am so happy I could kiss someone! - Don't even think about it.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53OK, everyone, I've got an announcement to make.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56- I texted Callum and asked him out on a date.- What?
0:05:56 > 0:06:00But last time you texted me, you were celebrating winning some award,
0:06:00 > 0:06:03not the fact that you'd asked out Mr "I'm So Hot I Have Scorch Marks."
0:06:03 > 0:06:06I can do both, can't I? And look at what he replied.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16See that? Three kisses. Count them.
0:06:17 > 0:06:22The Dedenator is striking back, and this time love is the victim.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25And Callum, he's also the victim.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28So there you have it. Whoop-whoop!
0:06:28 > 0:06:31The good news train is approaching its destination.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37Danny boy, amazing news!
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Finally! One Direction have exploded!
0:06:39 > 0:06:43Even better. Brandy May-Lou Buckingham's coming over. Get up!
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- Brandy May-who? - She's new, she's from Alabama.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50She's amazing, and she's looking for one new dancer to join her
0:06:50 > 0:06:54line at the Y Square Dance-Off tomorrow. So it could be one of us!
0:06:54 > 0:06:57I've been practising my do-si-do all day.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00I'm not entirely sure I know what do-si-do-ing is,
0:07:00 > 0:07:04but even if I did know I still wouldn't be interested.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08Gee, that sure is a shame.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14You know, back in my home town of Georgiana, Alabama,
0:07:14 > 0:07:16we have a little old saying that goes,
0:07:16 > 0:07:20"If the Good Lord hadn't wanted us to line-dance and hoedown,
0:07:20 > 0:07:23"he wouldn't have invented sequins, Stetsons and Taylor Swift."
0:07:23 > 0:07:25But I guess that don't matter no more
0:07:25 > 0:07:27since you don't want to dance with me anyway.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31I didn't say I didn't want to dance with you. I'd love to dance with you!
0:07:31 > 0:07:34I'll dance for you right now! Here's my chicken dance.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36SILLY MUSIC PLAYS
0:07:41 > 0:07:43HE SQUAWKS
0:07:43 > 0:07:46That sure is a wonderful dance you got there, Danny,
0:07:46 > 0:07:50but Jake here has already expressed an interest in dancing with me,
0:07:50 > 0:07:53so I'm afraid you two cowboys are just going to have to
0:07:53 > 0:07:55settle this yourselves.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57BOTH: Bring it on!
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Bev, guess what? Great news!
0:08:01 > 0:08:04You've come to tell me whether this is a crankshaft or a sparkplug?
0:08:04 > 0:08:06- No idea.- Makes two of us.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10- Why did I promise to mind this garage?- Never mind that.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14- I've just received an email telling me I've become an alumnus.- A what?
0:08:15 > 0:08:20Keith Woods, alumnus of the Heather Chandler Memorial School, Year 2010.
0:08:20 > 0:08:21It's like hearing I've become a lord!
0:08:21 > 0:08:23They want you to go back for a reunion?
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Well, that's ridiculous, you only left ten minutes ago.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- You know what this means?- You won't be able to stay late tomorrow
0:08:29 > 0:08:30and help me with that Corsa.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34It means, I finally get to go heads up with my arch rival Deano.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37- Who the Dutch braid is Deano? - He's like me squared.
0:08:37 > 0:08:42Everything I did he went one better. I had two girlfriends, he had three.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45I failed four MVQs, he failed 'em all.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Wow, sounds like a right catch(!)
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Ever since that he's done nothing. Me?
0:08:51 > 0:08:55The Keithmeister, well, I'm assistant manager at a garage
0:08:55 > 0:08:58with special responsibilities to refreshments, ain't I?
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Yes, my love, you make the tea(!)
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Ooh, speaking of which...
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Trust me, when I get there, I'm going to go straight up to him
0:09:06 > 0:09:09and go, "Deano Marconi, let me tell you..."
0:09:09 > 0:09:14Hang on, Deano Marconi? As in Deano Marconi of 13 Gleneagles Drive?
0:09:14 > 0:09:15Yeah, how d'you know his address?
0:09:15 > 0:09:19Because he came in earlier and dropped that off.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Apparently, it's a Triumph Adventurer
0:09:21 > 0:09:25but I wouldn't know one of them if it popped up and gave me a pigtail.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27That's Deano's Triumph?
0:09:27 > 0:09:31- How did he afford that?- Maybe he's not doing so badly after all.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39No, that's not him. No.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42What can I get you? A pot of ginseng for one?
0:09:42 > 0:09:46- A Fair Trade flapjack with no added fun?- No, thanks.
0:09:46 > 0:09:51- I'm meeting Callum for a date. - Really? Where is he, then?
0:09:51 > 0:09:56He's, erm, 3.25 minutes late. But I'm OK with that.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59Just because timekeeping is not his strong suit does not mean
0:09:59 > 0:10:01we're not compatible.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04As Captain Skylo would say, "No two stars look the same.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06"Some are main sequence dwarves
0:10:06 > 0:10:09"while others are hydrogen burning hyper-giants."
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Or, in the original Cargonian,
0:10:11 > 0:10:15Vluurg! Grarthm! Greeth, mah-jog!
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Dr Viazani! Hi!
0:10:18 > 0:10:22I didn't realise we are fellow Cargo nuts, Delia.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25I wouldn't call myself a "Cargo nut."
0:10:25 > 0:10:28I don't now the difference between the Tundramites of season six
0:10:28 > 0:10:30and the Windrophiles of season eight, but
0:10:30 > 0:10:34if you like Space Cargo then that's OK, because we are very different.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Anyway, I would love to stay and chat but I'm meeting someone.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41I know. Me.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45- What?- Vanda give me your number. I text you.
0:10:45 > 0:10:50"Meet me in the Y at 5pm." You text me back, "That would be lovely.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52"Maybe then we could catch a movie."
0:10:52 > 0:10:55I'm sorry, I have neither time
0:10:55 > 0:10:59nor inclination to catch a movie, but I did want to speak to you.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02You need to sign the Health & Safety release for your award.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04It has very sharp edges.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06OMJB!
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Your number's one digit different to Callum's!
0:11:09 > 0:11:12What are the chances of that, eh? I know!
0:11:12 > 0:11:15400,075 to one!
0:11:15 > 0:11:21Anyway, I'm sure I must have the form in here somewhere.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Dr Viazani, I'm really sorry but I've got to go.
0:11:24 > 0:11:25Not enjoying your date then?
0:11:25 > 0:11:29Oops, I forgot. Callum's already on a date.
0:11:29 > 0:11:34With someone else. Ouch! Painful much.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Ashlii, please don't make this worse than it is.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38I really thought I was coming here to meet Callum.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41But instead I was meeting an elderly woman
0:11:41 > 0:11:43who keeps potatoes in her handbag!
0:11:43 > 0:11:47My love life is going nowhere. In fact, my life is going nowhere.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50- So change it, dufus! - As if that's even possible.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Oh, my Richard Dawkins! Ashlii, what have you done to me?
0:12:01 > 0:12:03I've given you a daisy print dress
0:12:03 > 0:12:06with the cutest canary coloured crop cardy,
0:12:06 > 0:12:07with leopard print ballet pumps,
0:12:07 > 0:12:09with a French sole and an Italian twist.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Quick. Callum's on his own, go talk to him!
0:12:22 > 0:12:24He asked me for the bill.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28I'm so insignificant, he thinks I'm a waitress!
0:12:28 > 0:12:30I want my school uniform back.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33Nuh-uh. He treats you like a waitress because you act like one.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36Hang on, you ARE one. Nobody treats you like this.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40So, I wait tables in The Y. But in my head, I'm on a catwalk in Milan.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42And that's the image I project.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46Most people won't even order from me. I'm THAT fierce.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49When I'm ready, loser-tron!
0:12:49 > 0:12:53Moving through... Moving through.
0:12:53 > 0:12:58Isn't it a beauty? I used to use it in my act in Vegas.
0:12:58 > 0:12:59Erm, with respect...
0:12:59 > 0:13:05Respect?! What is she, the Pope? Show some attitude, girlfriend.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07OK. Get a grip, Grandma! Who cares what you think,
0:13:07 > 0:13:10I've got bigger and better things to worry about.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Dede Baxter - I have milkshake in my ear.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20All I can hear is...banana.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24That's funny, because all I can hear is a boring old bonka-tron.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Now, THAT'S fierce!
0:13:29 > 0:13:32This is a traditional hand-woven dog leash from Mecca.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35It take me hours to make. Trust me, they will love it.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39I told you I was the present king.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43He does not want a dog leash, he wants a surf leash!
0:13:44 > 0:13:46The leash is a cord which connects surfer to surfboard.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49And surfer to shark, if you are unlucky!
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Man, I am wasted on these people!
0:13:52 > 0:13:54PHONE RINGS
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Hey, BF, what's up?
0:13:56 > 0:13:59I'm going to be a little late for the anniversary date.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02It's my new dog, Jay-Z, he's kind of taking me for a walk.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06- You've got a new dog?- Yeah. My mum got it for me, I told you.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08He's only a Labradoodle, but he's so strong.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11That's why I needed the new leash,
0:14:11 > 0:14:13so I can tie him up while I hit the waves.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Still haven't found one strong enough, though.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19You actually don't want a surf leash and you DO want a dog leash?
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Yeah. Anyway, I've got to go, he's eating my foot.
0:14:22 > 0:14:28Oh, Mel G. Rico IS the present king!
0:14:28 > 0:14:29I need that dog leash!
0:14:29 > 0:14:31WESTERN MOVIE MUSIC
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Howdy, pardner.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Howdy.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39Man, these chaps are tight.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43Strikes me we got a little old disagreement on our hands.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45We both want to dance with the same girl.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Ain't that the truth?
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Where did you say your accent was from?
0:14:51 > 0:14:54Don't change the subject, you yellow-bellied snake in the grass!
0:14:54 > 0:14:58We're going to settle this once and for all.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01That's right, boys. There's only one way to settle this.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03You know what I'm talking about.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09One...two...three.
0:15:09 > 0:15:10Scissors!
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Dang it! Best of three.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19One...two...three.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Look - it's Katniss from The Hunger Games!
0:15:21 > 0:15:23Paper.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26No way!
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Well, looks like we have a winner.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Daniel, welcome to my line of champs.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33That's not fair. I saw her first.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37Sorry, boy. I guess the best man won.
0:15:47 > 0:15:48You know what, Beth -
0:15:51 > 0:15:55I mean, what would Steve think if I left you in the lurch like that?
0:15:55 > 0:15:59Oh, don't be a banana. What am I going to do, paint its nails?
0:15:59 > 0:16:02It'll be waiting for you in the morning. Go on - enjoy your reunion.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06Oh, yeah, about that. I was thinking about not going.
0:16:06 > 0:16:11Oh, Keith, love, we all have people at school who do better than us.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Mine was Katherine. She was always the centre of attention.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Is there a point to all this?
0:16:16 > 0:16:20My point is, she's Dino and you're me, right?
0:16:20 > 0:16:22So, in the grand scheme of things
0:16:22 > 0:16:25I've done just as well as her, if not better in some ways,
0:16:25 > 0:16:29because what I don't know about '70s ringlet wave ain't worth knowing.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32- And what's Katherine done? - Films, mostly.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34She goes by the stage name Kate Winslet.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36THE Kate Winslet?
0:16:36 > 0:16:38That's the one. Big boat?
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Oh, wow. Thanks for putting things into perspective for me, Beth.
0:16:43 > 0:16:48There is no way I'm going to that reunion now Deano's Kate Winslet.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52- Why would you give me that leash? - Because I no have it no more.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55I give it to sad-faced child on street, with puppy called Gnasher.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56She was delighted.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Even she appreciate it more than you do.
0:16:59 > 0:17:00I said I'm sorry.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02You say it with your mouth, but not with your heart.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04I told you I was king of presents,
0:17:04 > 0:17:06but you make me feel like king of idiots!
0:17:06 > 0:17:10What am I going to get Taylor for our anniversary now?
0:17:10 > 0:17:12I didn't even have time to make an origami duck.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17Half past end of relationship o'clock!
0:17:17 > 0:17:20Sadie, you breaking up with Taylor? That's just so sad.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Can I do anything to help? Shoulder to cry on, foot rub?
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Maybe we can take in a movie?
0:17:25 > 0:17:28Oh, Mel G, Killer Kreamy cream puff doughnuts?
0:17:28 > 0:17:31They're Taylor's favourite. And they're only available in the US.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34I had them flown in. It was an emotional emergency.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36- Can I have them?- Of course.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39Thank you so much! You may have just saved my relationship.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Well... But that wasn't the plan.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47PHONE RINGS
0:17:47 > 0:17:48Yellow?
0:17:48 > 0:17:49What? No, I cannot come to the dinner.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52Either you come, or I call the cops and they come.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53Dede's here. She's gone wild.
0:17:53 > 0:17:58Sorry, don't be redonculous. There's more chance of Roger winning Crufts.
0:17:58 > 0:17:59HE WHIMPERS
0:18:01 > 0:18:04If you don't believe me, you come here yourself.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Yee-ha, come on!
0:18:07 > 0:18:08Woo-hoo!
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Yeee-ha!
0:18:12 > 0:18:15Told ya! So now what are you going to do?
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Woo-hoo!
0:18:17 > 0:18:18Yee-ha!
0:18:18 > 0:18:20Dede! Get off that mechanical donkey this instant!
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Woo-hoo!
0:18:24 > 0:18:29Ah, Dede, I have the release form for your award for you to sign.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Award-shmorm. I'm not signing anything.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34The old Dede signed forms. The new one doesn't even own a pen.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Get with it, Losers McLosers!
0:18:36 > 0:18:39But, Dedes, this is for your Young Geneticist of the Year award.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43Get your bottom off that ride. If you don't sign it, you can win.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Fine. I knew you'd come to your senses.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52There, that's what I think of your award!
0:18:52 > 0:18:54And this is what I think of you!
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Deeds...
0:19:12 > 0:19:15OK, enough! I get it, Dede, you don't want the award.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19Cos you're a cool girl now. But let me ask you a question -
0:19:19 > 0:19:21where's Callum in all of this?
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Oh, yeah - that's right, he's looking at himself
0:19:24 > 0:19:26because that's all he cares about, Dede.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Don't look at me. I never promised you a rose garden.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32It doesn't matter if you're nerdy or you are cool
0:19:32 > 0:19:33or you are a complete and utter maniac
0:19:33 > 0:19:36because Callum is just not that into you.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42I don't see why I can't just sit in the corner and watch.
0:19:42 > 0:19:43You won't even know I'm here.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46Sorry, buddy. Brandy says rehearsals are private.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53This is an outrage!
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Sorry about him. He's just jealous.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00So, let's see what you're made of, shall we?
0:20:00 > 0:20:04- How's your cha-cha-slide lookin'? - My cha-cha-slide? It's great!
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Well, I sure hope you've got stamina.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09Stamina's my middle name.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11OK, I'm surprised at you, Danny boy.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14I thought you wanted to win that line dancing crown as much as I do.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17I do, I'm just quite attached to my legs, that's all.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Let me see that.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22That's just a surface wound.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24OK, but can't we just have a little break?
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Of course we can!
0:20:26 > 0:20:29When we are celebrating being crowned line dancing champions.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33Now get on up and show me your hoedown throw-down!
0:20:33 > 0:20:36HE WHIMPERS
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Look, why don't you just go for an hour?
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Bev, I've accepted it, all right? I'm a failure.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Hence, I'm not going to the reunion -
0:20:45 > 0:20:48I'm working on the swanky bike of my old school rival,
0:20:48 > 0:20:50the Kate Winslet of casting,
0:20:50 > 0:20:55who's at the reunion now and is quite clearly a major success.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58Well, I for one would not be moping around here like a wet quiff,
0:20:58 > 0:21:01I can tell you that for nothing. PHONE RINGS
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Hello, Mr Cuticles.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08I mean, Curlzone Motors, I mean...
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Right. Angie Marconi.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Not THE Angie Marconi from St Hilda's High School on the Green?
0:21:16 > 0:21:18It's Bev! Beverly Summers.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Yeah...
0:21:21 > 0:21:22Right.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Yeah, no. Right, yeah.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27All right, bye.
0:21:27 > 0:21:28Who was that?
0:21:28 > 0:21:32That was Deano's mum, Angie Marconi, my other school nemesis.
0:21:32 > 0:21:37She sat next to Kate. She wants to know when her bike will be ready.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40- Hang on, this bike's Deano's mum's? - He dropped it off for her.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Apparently, he's in-between jobs at the moment.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47Ha-ha! So I'm a failure and Deano's a failure.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50Woo-hoo! Hi five.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53How the banana did Angie Marconi afford a bike like that?
0:21:56 > 0:21:59I don't know, Bev. I'll ask him at the reunion.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01See ya.
0:22:04 > 0:22:09Where were you today? Did you forget our anniversary?
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Oh, what happened to you?
0:22:11 > 0:22:14I finally found you the perfect present for our anniversary,
0:22:14 > 0:22:16but then my so-called BFF goes and throws it at me
0:22:16 > 0:22:18because she's trying to be cool and impress Callum.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Why is she wasting her time with a bonehead like him for?
0:22:20 > 0:22:22- She's worth 50 of him. - I'm sorry I've been
0:22:22 > 0:22:24so rubbish with our anniversaries.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26I'm not the most perfectumundo girlfriend in the world.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29I can't even pretend to be. Just deal with it, OK?
0:22:29 > 0:22:30- Well, that's a relief.- Say what?
0:22:30 > 0:22:32I didn't know what to get you either.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35The only thing I could think of was making you another video.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37I've been carrying this video camera around all week
0:22:37 > 0:22:39- trying to get some inspiration. - Really?
0:22:39 > 0:22:42So maybe let's just say enough of the presents for a while, OK?
0:22:42 > 0:22:43And this thing is so heavy.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46To be honest, I'm just looking forward to leaving it at home.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50Hang on a second. This might just bring Dede back from the brink.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Welcome to Rodeo Drive.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00Ladies and gentlemen, cowboys and cowgirls,
0:23:00 > 0:23:03despite certain setbacks...
0:23:05 > 0:23:07..the Rodeo Drive is still on!
0:23:07 > 0:23:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:11 > 0:23:16Contestants for the line dance-off, it's time to hit the floor.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21I will be calling the dancers naturally, so pay attention.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Bow to the corner, bow to your own.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27MUSIC: "Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex
0:23:39 > 0:23:41I hope you and Brandy May-Lou have had a good time.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Oh, the best.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Danny, what happened?
0:23:48 > 0:23:50What happened? I'll tell you what happened.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53Your little friend here is too lily-livered
0:23:53 > 0:23:56to line dance like a man. That's what.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59- Ow!- Now get on up and show me what you're made of!
0:23:59 > 0:24:02We've got a title to win, or have you forgotten?
0:24:02 > 0:24:03Give me a minute.
0:24:03 > 0:24:07Hold on one cotton-picking minute there, sister.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10No-one speaks to the Danster like that, not even me,
0:24:10 > 0:24:13so if he's not good enough to dance with someone like you
0:24:13 > 0:24:16then I sure as heck know someone who's happy to dance with him.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Ladies and gents,
0:24:34 > 0:24:40I give you the Y Diner line dance-off champions 2013.
0:24:41 > 0:24:46I object. That's cheating. You can't have two cowboys dancing together.
0:24:46 > 0:24:47It don't make no sense.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50It's 2013, Brandy May-Lou. Get with the programme.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53I can dance with whoever I want.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:24:55 > 0:24:57- Urgh! - Hello? Is this thing on?
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Dede, this is a message from all your friends.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06We notice you haven't been yourself lately.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08You tried to change yourself because of a boy
0:25:08 > 0:25:10and it seems like you've forgotten who you are,
0:25:10 > 0:25:13so we made a mash-up of all your best bits.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16You know, just to remind you.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18MUSIC: "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus
0:25:22 > 0:25:26# And if you tell my heart My achy, breaky heart
0:25:26 > 0:25:30# He might blow up and kill this man. #
0:25:35 > 0:25:37'Deeds, if Callum can't see how amazing you are,
0:25:37 > 0:25:39'he clearly does not deserve you.'
0:25:41 > 0:25:46But you do deserve that award.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49Dr Viazani, can you ever forgive me?
0:25:49 > 0:25:52That's OK, dear. I ran wild at your age, too.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55I once punched a Brownie.
0:25:55 > 0:25:59Another time I ran off to Mexico with my boyfriend.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02But Miss V said you never had a boyfriend.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04She forgot about Consuelo.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07And Julian. And Richard. And, come to think of it,
0:26:07 > 0:26:11I wonder what happened to Richard's friend, Rupert.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Miss V...?
0:26:15 > 0:26:19I owe you an apology, too. I don't know what came over me.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22I know what came over me. Milkshake.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25OK, I forgive you.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27Well, I will when I've done this.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34OMLG. Sorry!
0:26:35 > 0:26:36Ish.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd