Episode 3

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:03 > 0:00:05# Wind me up, put me down

0:00:05 > 0:00:07# Start me off and watch me go

0:00:07 > 0:00:10# It's easy Once you know how it's done

0:00:10 > 0:00:14# You can't stop now It's already begun #

0:00:14 > 0:00:16'Sam and Mark's...

0:00:16 > 0:00:19'Yes! Get in!'

0:00:19 > 0:00:22- If you love hidden-camera wind-ups... - You're in the right place.

0:00:22 > 0:00:27We are going to spoil you with some of our favourite pranks from Big Friday Wind-up.

0:00:27 > 0:00:30Let's kick things off in Cheshire.

0:00:30 > 0:00:34- Welcome to another edition of In Yer Face.- But there's a twist!

0:00:34 > 0:00:39This week's In Yer Face involves not one, not two, but three people.

0:00:39 > 0:00:41- Which three?- These three...

0:00:41 > 0:00:43I'm taking Yannis...

0:00:43 > 0:00:46And I'm taking his brother and sister Aris and Sophia.

0:00:46 > 0:00:49That means I've got twice the chance of getting caught!

0:00:49 > 0:00:51That's a shame. Good luck, mate.

0:00:51 > 0:00:54The aim of the game is not to get recognised.

0:00:54 > 0:00:59We've got cunning disguises to help. Whoever gets away with it the longest is the winner.

0:00:59 > 0:01:03But if they uncover our true identity and make a positive ID,

0:01:03 > 0:01:05it's Game Over.

0:01:05 > 0:01:10VO: 'Let's get this contest started by playing Round One.'

0:01:10 > 0:01:14'Will Sam and Mark be able to milk it for all it's worth or will they lose their bottle?'

0:01:14 > 0:01:17'First up, it's Milkman Mark.'

0:01:17 > 0:01:19Here's the rules for Round One.

0:01:19 > 0:01:23- Pull up your milk float.- Yes. - And Yannis is going to come down the street.

0:01:23 > 0:01:28You need to ask Yannis for directions to house number 64.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31- Yep, cool.- Don't forget, mate, if Yannis says you're Mark,

0:01:31 > 0:01:35- it's game over at the first hurdle. - Game on.

0:01:38 > 0:01:42Excuse me, mate, I don't suppose you know where number 64 is, do you?

0:01:42 > 0:01:45- Er, number 64?- Yeah.

0:01:45 > 0:01:48- No, not really.- Do you not? - No.- On this road...

0:01:48 > 0:01:53- You remind me of someone. - 'He is definitely suspicious!'

0:01:53 > 0:01:58I've been working this street for about three years so I don't know what...!

0:01:58 > 0:02:00Is number 63 on this road?

0:02:00 > 0:02:04Yeah, I think it's either... I think it's down there.

0:02:04 > 0:02:07- He's so suspicious!- All right. Cheers, mate. Thanks very much.

0:02:07 > 0:02:10- I'll try and risk it. - SAM LAUGHS

0:02:10 > 0:02:13'That was a close call, Mark!'

0:02:14 > 0:02:17- MARK LAUGHS - Yes!

0:02:17 > 0:02:20- You are treading on thin ice, my friend!- Serious.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22He said, "You remind me of someone."

0:02:22 > 0:02:26I was like, "Where do you go from there? Do you want a bottle of milk?"

0:02:26 > 0:02:30'1-0 to Mark. Next up, Sam.'

0:02:30 > 0:02:34- Samski.- Hello. - "Looking good as a milkman."- Thanks.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37- I want you to do some milkman banter.- What kind of milkman banter?

0:02:37 > 0:02:40Whistle a jolly tune while they walk towards you.

0:02:40 > 0:02:43- I'm going to whistle the Wind-Up theme tune.- Are you crazy?

0:02:43 > 0:02:46- That's silly. - That's how daring I am.- 'Ooh!'

0:02:46 > 0:02:48- All right, well, good luck. - Thank you.

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Sam, they are coming. They are coming now.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01HE WHISTLES WIND-UP THEME TUNE

0:03:01 > 0:03:04Do you know where number 64 is?

0:03:04 > 0:03:06- Probably down there.- Down there?

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Nice one. Cheers, mate, cheers.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11- I think up there. - No, it's down there.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13All right. Cheers, mate. Nice one.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15HE WHISTLES

0:03:19 > 0:03:23- Two! Two people! Not one of them recognised me. - I know.- You - just the one.

0:03:23 > 0:03:25Sophia was running towards you.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28I thought she was like, "I want some milk!"

0:03:28 > 0:03:30I thought she was going to take me out.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33- Look what I got us.- Nice! - All right!

0:03:33 > 0:03:35'So Sam pulls it back to 1-1.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38'Let's move on to Round Two - Fitness Fanatic.

0:03:38 > 0:03:41'They really do wear some ridiculous stuff.

0:03:41 > 0:03:46'Will they get away with this one? Let's get physical and find out.'

0:03:46 > 0:03:49OK, Mark, Round Two. Are you ready and raring to go?

0:03:49 > 0:03:51Fit and raring to go, my friend.

0:03:51 > 0:03:55OK. I like it. The rules for this, Yannis is going to be walking in the park,

0:03:55 > 0:03:59you need to run by him and then you also need to say a word,

0:03:59 > 0:04:02which I will give to you in your ear at an appropriate time.

0:04:02 > 0:04:04I'm a little bit nervous about the word

0:04:04 > 0:04:08- because I'll be speaking like an American guy!- Nice.

0:04:08 > 0:04:10- Let's do this! - MUSIC: Theme from "Rocky"

0:04:13 > 0:04:16Here comes Yannis. Your word is...

0:04:16 > 0:04:18MUSIC STOPS SUDDENLY .."sausage".

0:04:18 > 0:04:22# Let's get physical, physical... #

0:04:22 > 0:04:23- Hey, man.- Hi.- How you doing?

0:04:23 > 0:04:26- How's this weather turning out? Pretty good, huh?- Yes.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28Cool!

0:04:28 > 0:04:31A bit like a big breakfast, like sausage and mash or something!

0:04:31 > 0:04:33'There, he said it.'

0:04:37 > 0:04:40- Now you're talking!- Ahh, man! - Whoo-hoo!

0:04:40 > 0:04:42I can't believe he didn't get you.

0:04:42 > 0:04:45- And I even got "sausages" in there. - I know.

0:04:45 > 0:04:49- I said breakfast, sausage and mash! I don't know whether that'll work! - Why not?

0:04:49 > 0:04:52- Always time for sausage and mash. - Do you want any now?- No.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54'Eee, I could just eat sausage and mash.'

0:04:54 > 0:04:57'Anyway, Mark goes 2-1 up. Next, it's Sam.'

0:04:57 > 0:05:00Samski, looking good, mate. Wow, they're... big muscles.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03Let me know if that's getting in the way.

0:05:03 > 0:05:06- It's not.- Are you sure? It's pretty big.- Positive.

0:05:06 > 0:05:10Don't give it the big 'un because I'll give you a really hard word!

0:05:10 > 0:05:13Oh, OK. Fair enough. MARK LAUGHS

0:05:16 > 0:05:19The word that I want you to get into the conversation is...

0:05:19 > 0:05:21..aeroplane.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23OK.

0:05:23 > 0:05:27- Come on! Got to get fit! - They're just laughing at him!

0:05:27 > 0:05:31On an aeroplane tomorrow! Going to Tenerife!

0:05:31 > 0:05:32Whoo!

0:05:32 > 0:05:35That wasn't a conversation.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38He just shouted at them in a really bad Brummie accent.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40# Macho, macho... #

0:05:42 > 0:05:45I'm getting on a plane! I'm going to Tenerife!

0:05:45 > 0:05:48- Come on, we're going to Tenerife. - Are we?- Yes! Let's go!

0:05:48 > 0:05:51- You know what's next.- What? - Dressing up as women.

0:05:51 > 0:05:55- I've got a good feeling about this. - You look good as a woman. I don't.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58THEY CHEER & HOWL

0:05:58 > 0:06:00HORN BEEPS

0:06:00 > 0:06:02'That's 2-2.

0:06:02 > 0:06:06'In Yer Face - Round Three - Lost Bride.'

0:06:06 > 0:06:09'Will Sam and Mark's damsel-in-distress act

0:06:09 > 0:06:10'get them to church on time?'

0:06:10 > 0:06:12'First up, it's Mark.'

0:06:12 > 0:06:17You are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20- Aww, get off!- I particularly like the chest hair and beard.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23Don't try and sweet-talk me. I still want to win!

0:06:23 > 0:06:25OK, here's the rules.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28You're a lost bride. You're late for your wedding.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31When you see Yannis,

0:06:31 > 0:06:35tell him and you can make up any excuse that you like.

0:06:35 > 0:06:38- Anything? - Anything that you like, mate.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44Oh, no. What am I going to do?!

0:06:44 > 0:06:46What am I going to do?

0:06:46 > 0:06:49Excuse me, do you know any taxi numbers, please?

0:06:49 > 0:06:52- I'm late for my wedding. - Sorry, I don't know.

0:06:52 > 0:06:53I'm late for my wedding.

0:06:53 > 0:06:56I was supposed to be there at four o'clock

0:06:56 > 0:06:59and I'm already 15 minutes late!

0:06:59 > 0:07:02- I'm sorry, I can't help you. - Come on!- Are you sure?- I'm sorry.

0:07:02 > 0:07:07- Do you think it is a sign that he doesn't love me any more? - I don't know. I don't know him.

0:07:07 > 0:07:11- His name is Sam, but he's -- Sam? - 'Ooh, hang about!'

0:07:11 > 0:07:14- Yes, he's...- Say it, please!

0:07:14 > 0:07:16- Are you sure you don't know any taxi numbers?- I don't.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19- Say it!- Sorry.

0:07:19 > 0:07:21Oh, man!

0:07:21 > 0:07:24- Anybody know any taxi numbers? - Ridiculous.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30- Look at your chest, your hairy chest and your beard!- Yes!

0:07:30 > 0:07:32- Well, you're in the final. - I am in the final.

0:07:32 > 0:07:35- You're not yet.- Ahh, man!

0:07:35 > 0:07:36# Boom! B-B-B-B-Boom!

0:07:36 > 0:07:39# Boom-boom, b-b-boom-boom B-B-B-B-Boom-boom

0:07:39 > 0:07:40# Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh! #

0:07:40 > 0:07:45- Here you go. That's for you. - 'After that Oscar-winning performance, Marketta leads 3-2

0:07:45 > 0:07:47'so the pressure is now firmly on Samantha.'

0:07:47 > 0:07:52Well, well, well. I think you're selling yourself a bit short there, Mr Sam Nixon.

0:07:52 > 0:07:57- I think you make a lovely bride. - I cannot believe you got through! The pressure's on.

0:07:57 > 0:08:01- Remember, if you get caught, I'm the winner.- I know. I know.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07Best acting. Come on.

0:08:07 > 0:08:12- Excuse me, I don't suppose you've seen a wedding car down there, have you?- BOTH: No.

0:08:12 > 0:08:17I'm meant to be getting married. The car was meant to be here at half-past!

0:08:17 > 0:08:21I can't believe this is happening! It's my wedding day!

0:08:21 > 0:08:25I'm sorry, love! I'm sorry, love! MARK GROANS

0:08:25 > 0:08:28# It's a nice day for a

0:08:28 > 0:08:30# White wedding #

0:08:31 > 0:08:35Fancy a trip to the final together? Yes!

0:08:35 > 0:08:36Oh, eh?!

0:08:36 > 0:08:40Wow, you are one ugly woman! You really are!

0:08:40 > 0:08:43'So Sam has levelled it up at 3-3.

0:08:43 > 0:08:47'Time for the decider - Round Four - Lucky Dip.

0:08:47 > 0:08:51'Both lads must choose one item from the mystery box of disguises.

0:08:51 > 0:08:56'Mark draws a bandanna and Sam's got a comedy beard.

0:08:56 > 0:08:58'Now they're off to the ice rink.

0:08:58 > 0:09:02'Whoever remains unidentified for the longest is the winner.'

0:09:02 > 0:09:04'Break a leg, chaps.'

0:09:06 > 0:09:08'So here we go.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14'Sam closes in on Aris and Sophia.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16'What's Mark doing here?'

0:09:16 > 0:09:20- Hi, Mark!- 'Oh, yes! We have a positive identification from Yannis.'

0:09:20 > 0:09:21Mark!

0:09:25 > 0:09:27'Now, what is Sam up to?

0:09:27 > 0:09:30'He's won the game because Mark got spotted first,

0:09:30 > 0:09:34- 'so he's just having a bit of fun, really!'- All right?

0:09:36 > 0:09:38- 'Yes, they've got him!' - SAM CHEERS

0:09:38 > 0:09:41Another well-deserved victory for the Nixon.

0:09:41 > 0:09:45All right, all right, pipe down. Now for something completely different.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Take one lift with random members of the public...

0:09:47 > 0:09:51Add one wind-up trumper and a fake toilet.

0:09:51 > 0:09:53..and this is what you get. JOLLY MUSIC

0:09:53 > 0:09:56TRUMPING Ooh!

0:09:56 > 0:10:00When you've got to go...! TRUMPING

0:10:01 > 0:10:05TRUMPING

0:10:07 > 0:10:10That is one lift you definitely want to swerve.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12'Next, the mighty One Direction join the Wind-Up team

0:10:12 > 0:10:15'to help us prank two of their biggest fans.'

0:10:15 > 0:10:21'So arriving at the BBC in London are our two One Direction mega-fans, Megan and Rae.'

0:10:21 > 0:10:25'They're here to audition to be presenters for TV1D,

0:10:25 > 0:10:29'a new TV channel dedicated to One Direction that we've totally made up.'

0:10:29 > 0:10:34'There's our Wind-Up actor Barry, pretending to be a producer for the fake TV channel.'

0:10:34 > 0:10:38'He's going to put the girls through an audition they will never forget.'

0:10:38 > 0:10:40Come into the audition room.

0:10:40 > 0:10:41THEY GASP

0:10:41 > 0:10:45- They look so perfect, Rae! - I need to...

0:10:45 > 0:10:48- Can we just...- That is not lifesize! They are shorter than that!

0:10:48 > 0:10:53Listen, we're setting up a brand-new channel - TV1D.

0:10:53 > 0:10:57It's specially for fans of One Direction. Are you a fan of One Direction?

0:10:57 > 0:10:59Yeah!

0:10:59 > 0:11:02- Who's your favourite?- Niall.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Yep. Blondie. And yours is?

0:11:04 > 0:11:07- Ooh... Er...- All of them?- Yeah!

0:11:07 > 0:11:08Oh, my goodness!

0:11:08 > 0:11:12This new channel will give you 24-hour access to the lads.

0:11:12 > 0:11:15You can watch them at any time - day or night.

0:11:15 > 0:11:20What the TV bosses want are presenters who are not just big fans,

0:11:20 > 0:11:23but I mean big, big, big, big fans. The biggest fans!

0:11:23 > 0:11:26- Are you big fans of One Direction? - BOTH: Yes!- Right.

0:11:26 > 0:11:30'It's time to prove it, girls. It's time for the screen-test.'

0:11:30 > 0:11:33Right, this is your audition, OK?

0:11:33 > 0:11:36This is to present on TV1D.

0:11:36 > 0:11:40Are you ready? Three, two...

0:11:40 > 0:11:45- Hello and welcome to TV1D! - The channel that takes you in one direction.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48- Straight to Niall.- Liam.- Harry. - Louis.- And Zayn.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50- One Direction equals... - One Direction TV...

0:11:50 > 0:11:54'It isn't the strongest of starts. Let's try some different voices.'

0:11:54 > 0:11:59Can you go lower, like really low? And you go higher.

0:11:59 > 0:12:04- SHRIEKS: Hello and welcome to TV1D! - BOOMS: The channel that takes you in one direction.

0:12:04 > 0:12:05Do it with a rap!

0:12:05 > 0:12:09- # Hello and welcome to TV1D! - # The channel that takes you In one direction #

0:12:09 > 0:12:10Can you do an American accent?

0:12:10 > 0:12:15- Hello and welcome to TV1D! - 'That's a no, then!'- The channel that takes you in one direction.

0:12:15 > 0:12:20- BOTH: One Direction, TV perfection! - 'I think that's supposed to be Australian.'

0:12:20 > 0:12:24- Robots! - He-llo and wel-come to TV-1D!

0:12:24 > 0:12:27- Aliens.- The channel that takes you in one direction.

0:12:27 > 0:12:33- Straight to Niall.- Liam.- Harry. - Louis.- And Zayn.

0:12:33 > 0:12:37BOTH: One Direction, TV perfection!

0:12:37 > 0:12:41That's amazing. Megan and Rae actually think they're auditioning for TV1D.

0:12:41 > 0:12:47What I'm going to do now, I'm going to give them a ring and say they've got the job.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49PHONE RINGS

0:12:49 > 0:12:51Hang on, this is my boss.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53- Hello?- "Hi, Barry. It's Marcus."

0:12:53 > 0:12:57I've been watching the auditions and I think the girls are fantastic.

0:12:57 > 0:13:02- They're the best we've seen today. Well, the best so far! - "That's what I was thinking."

0:13:02 > 0:13:06- Can I have a word with them? - I'll just hand you over.- OK.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09- GIRLS: Hello! - Hi there. How's it going?

0:13:09 > 0:13:11- Good, I hope!- Really enjoyed it!

0:13:11 > 0:13:15- Right. So, you're big One Direction fans?- BOTH: Yes.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18What songs do you like from One Direction?

0:13:18 > 0:13:21BOTH # Baby, you light up my world Like nobody else #

0:13:21 > 0:13:24I think you've got what it takes. I'm going to give you a shot.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26- BOTH: OK.- Wow.

0:13:26 > 0:13:30Barry, could you do me a favour and bring them to TV1D HQ, please?

0:13:30 > 0:13:34Marcus, that's absolutely fine. We'll see you, erm, as soon as we possibly can.

0:13:34 > 0:13:37Great. It'll definitely be worth it.

0:13:37 > 0:13:40All right, Marcus. Thank you. The girls want to say thank you.

0:13:40 > 0:13:43- BOTH: Thank you!- Bye.- BOTH: Bye!

0:13:43 > 0:13:45Ciao. Bye.

0:13:45 > 0:13:48Oh, my gosh!

0:13:48 > 0:13:52Very, very good. Congratulations. We're going to meet the bosses.

0:13:52 > 0:13:55- I'm hyperventilating! - You're hyperventilating!

0:13:55 > 0:13:59'It's time to take the girls to TV1D's top-secret HQ.'

0:13:59 > 0:14:03'It's so secret, in fact, they have to wear blindfolds.'

0:14:03 > 0:14:06'Actually, it's because we've got a huge surprise in store.

0:14:06 > 0:14:08'All is about to be revealed.'

0:14:08 > 0:14:13'Remember, Megan and Rae think they're here to meet the channel execs of TV1D.'

0:14:13 > 0:14:17'Hold on. They're not the execs. It's only One Direction!'

0:14:17 > 0:14:20'Remember, the girls have no idea what's going on.'

0:14:20 > 0:14:23One, two,

0:14:23 > 0:14:25- three...- BOYS: Hello!

0:14:25 > 0:14:28Oh, my goodness!

0:14:28 > 0:14:31You've been wound up by Sam and Mark.

0:14:31 > 0:14:35- NIALL: There's no execs. It's just us.- What?!

0:14:35 > 0:14:40- Rae!- There's no 1DTV, but you can interview us instead.

0:14:40 > 0:14:43'Megan and Rae have been well and truly Smarked.'

0:14:43 > 0:14:47'There may be no TV1D, but the girls are going to get something much better -

0:14:47 > 0:14:49'an interview with the boys.'

0:14:49 > 0:14:52What's the most annoying...

0:14:52 > 0:14:56..fan-girling thing, like screaming in your face, crying...?

0:14:56 > 0:15:00- A girl went to hug Niall and she bagged him in the face! - Hit me with her bag in the face.

0:15:00 > 0:15:02- How did that feel? - It was nice. Lovely leather.

0:15:02 > 0:15:04I tell you what's awkward,

0:15:04 > 0:15:08someone asks you a question while you're waiting to take a picture and then you...

0:15:08 > 0:15:11- You have to hold the smile. - If you answer,

0:15:11 > 0:15:14- you're going to be like... - You have to talk through the smile.

0:15:14 > 0:15:18You've achieved some amazing things. What's your proudest moment.

0:15:18 > 0:15:24One of the proudest moments for us was when we found out that we'd sold out Madison Square Garden.

0:15:24 > 0:15:25That was crazy.

0:15:25 > 0:15:30- This is not even happening! - Which country are you most excited about visiting

0:15:30 > 0:15:32on your upcoming worldwide tour?

0:15:32 > 0:15:38- I think it'll be nice to go back to Australia.- Yes! Big shout!

0:15:38 > 0:15:40We've only been there once.

0:15:40 > 0:15:44- Which artist would you most like to collaborate with? - ALL: Katy Perry.- OK!

0:15:44 > 0:15:49- Who were your musical heroes when you were young?- Elvis Presley. - Frank Sinatra.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51- Michael Jackson. - Robbie Williams, Oasis.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53Busted!

0:15:53 > 0:15:55I liked Busted when I was younger!

0:15:55 > 0:15:59My first phone case was a Busted phone case.

0:15:59 > 0:16:02If you could pick anyone to be the sixth member of One Direction,

0:16:02 > 0:16:05- who would it be?- Sam or Mark? - NIALL LAUGHS

0:16:05 > 0:16:07Erm... Erm...

0:16:07 > 0:16:12Mark. Mark's from round by me so I'd have to choose him.

0:16:12 > 0:16:14- Mark.- I'm going to go with Sam.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17'It's been a great day for the girls,

0:16:17 > 0:16:22'from auditioning for our fake TV1D channel to actually meeting their heroes.'

0:16:22 > 0:16:24'Could the day have been any more perfect?'

0:16:24 > 0:16:26Oh, my gosh!

0:16:26 > 0:16:29That didn't even just happen!

0:16:29 > 0:16:34- Happiest person alive. - Unbelievably happy. Oh, my gosh! - Happiest I'll ever be in my life.

0:16:34 > 0:16:39'Glad we could be of assistance. And a big thank-you must go to One Direction.'

0:16:39 > 0:16:41'Time now for a quick hit.'

0:16:41 > 0:16:44SCREAMING THROUGHOUT

0:16:56 > 0:17:00Classic pranking there! There is just time for one more of our favourite hidden-camera pranks.

0:17:00 > 0:17:04It's over to Bristol for another game of...

0:17:04 > 0:17:05- Stop that.- Sorry.

0:17:05 > 0:17:09- ..In Yer Face.- We are about to get right in the face of these two.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12- I'm taking James. - And I'm taking George.

0:17:15 > 0:17:19'Can the lads make convincing beekeepers without being stung?

0:17:19 > 0:17:21'To bee or not to bee... You get the idea!

0:17:21 > 0:17:23'First up, Mark.'

0:17:23 > 0:17:25- Morning, Mark!- Hello.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27- You'll never guess what.- Yes?

0:17:27 > 0:17:32- You've only gone and lost your bees, you silly sausage!- What?

0:17:32 > 0:17:36You're going to knock on James's door and tell him you've lost your bees

0:17:36 > 0:17:38and ask him to give you a call

0:17:38 > 0:17:43if he comes across any bees that look lost,

0:17:43 > 0:17:46- and you're going to hand him one of your cards.- Perfect.

0:17:48 > 0:17:53Look at the confidence in him! Striding up to the door!

0:17:58 > 0:18:02Excuse me, mate, I'm a local beekeeper in the area

0:18:02 > 0:18:05and, unfortunately, I've lost a few of my bees.

0:18:05 > 0:18:09I was wondering, if you see any bees around,

0:18:09 > 0:18:12would you be able to ring this number? Is that all right?

0:18:12 > 0:18:15I've got a card here. It's called None Of Your Bees-ness.

0:18:15 > 0:18:20If you ring that number, you'd be able to tell me if you see any bees around, all right?

0:18:20 > 0:18:22- Cool.- Quick, leave! Leave!

0:18:22 > 0:18:25- All right. Cheers, mate. Take care. - Bye.- Bye.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27He had a cheeky grin on his face then!

0:18:30 > 0:18:34- Well done.- Thanks, mate. 1-0! That means there's a lot of pressure on you.

0:18:34 > 0:18:38- What accent are you going to do? - None of your bees-ness!

0:18:38 > 0:18:42'I do not bee-lieve it. It's 1-0 to Mark.

0:18:42 > 0:18:44'Next up, Sam.'

0:18:44 > 0:18:45Oh, look at you!

0:18:45 > 0:18:48- Look at you! You think you're the bees' knees.- Clever.

0:18:48 > 0:18:50- Why don't you just buzz off? - Good one.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53- HE STAMMERS - Have some honey.

0:18:53 > 0:18:57- That wasn't so good, that last one. - Was that not good?- No.- No, OK.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00Remember, if he says, "You're Sam from Sam and Mark,"

0:19:00 > 0:19:04this is the quickest game in the history of quick games.

0:19:04 > 0:19:08It's not going to happen. You know, deep down inside, it won't happen.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11- Are you trying to trash-talk me? - I'm trash-talking you big time.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14- Well, it's not working. - Oh, isn't it?

0:19:14 > 0:19:18- How about now? - It's a bit intimidating. - Is it working now?- Bit intimidating.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20- Am I trash-talking you big time? - Yeah.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23- I'm coming for you. - All right. Well, don't come for me,

0:19:23 > 0:19:26- go to George's house.- All right. - All right?

0:19:26 > 0:19:27Good luck.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31I'm nervous for him.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36I'm sorry to bother you, mate.

0:19:38 > 0:19:40I am a beekeeper in the area

0:19:40 > 0:19:44and I seem to have lost my bees, not all of them, just some of them.

0:19:44 > 0:19:49- If you happen to see any bees, would you mind getting in touch with my company?- OK.

0:19:49 > 0:19:52We're actually called None Of Your Bees-ness.

0:19:52 > 0:19:54So they usually fly in groups,

0:19:54 > 0:19:57- so if you see them, give us a call. - OK.- Thank you, mate.

0:19:57 > 0:19:59Bye, have a good day, mate. Bye.

0:19:59 > 0:20:03Man! He didn't have a clue.

0:20:07 > 0:20:10- I'm going to win this!- You're not.

0:20:10 > 0:20:12Who's your favourite character in EastEnders?

0:20:12 > 0:20:16- Ian Bee-eale?!- No, no, no, no!

0:20:16 > 0:20:18Is it, is it, is it...

0:20:18 > 0:20:21- ..Bee-anca? - THEY LAUGH HYSTERICALLY

0:20:21 > 0:20:23- I haven't got any more. - I haven't, either.

0:20:23 > 0:20:25'With the scores one apiece,

0:20:25 > 0:20:28'let's move on to Round Two - Pirates.

0:20:28 > 0:20:32'Can these two swashbucklers shiver the boys' timbers without getting recognised?

0:20:32 > 0:20:35'Ooh, arr! Who's a pretty boy? Certainly not Mark.'

0:20:35 > 0:20:40- Looking good, mate.- Thanks. - What's your parrot called? - My parrot is called Felix.

0:20:40 > 0:20:42Felix. Brilliant.

0:20:42 > 0:20:44OK, here are the rules. You are a pirate.

0:20:44 > 0:20:48When James walks past, you have got to sing a pirate song, that you can make up,

0:20:48 > 0:20:50and then after,

0:20:50 > 0:20:54you've got to make James say, "Oooh, arr!"

0:20:54 > 0:20:56Stop waving your sword. You broke your sword!

0:20:56 > 0:21:01He's broke his sword! SAM LAUGHS

0:21:01 > 0:21:04- You're the worst pirate ever! - 'Har-har!'

0:21:07 > 0:21:10I see him, Mark. Good luck.

0:21:10 > 0:21:14Arr! To get past, you have to listen to me pirate song!

0:21:14 > 0:21:16Come over here, me hearty!

0:21:16 > 0:21:17Listen to me song!

0:21:17 > 0:21:21# A pirate, pirate, pirate A pirate in the sea

0:21:21 > 0:21:23# A pirate, pirate, pirate I'm happy as can be... #

0:21:23 > 0:21:26Not the best song I've ever heard.

0:21:26 > 0:21:28You've got to say, "Ooh, arr!" Say "Ooh, arr!"

0:21:28 > 0:21:30- Ooh, arr.- He got him to do it!

0:21:30 > 0:21:34Ooh, arr! I liked it, me hearties! Off you go! See ya!

0:21:34 > 0:21:37Hey-arr!

0:21:37 > 0:21:39- Well done.- Ha!

0:21:42 > 0:21:44Yeah! Ah, yeah!

0:21:44 > 0:21:47Yes! Yes!

0:21:47 > 0:21:52- Easy. In yer face, Sam Nixon. - OK, whatever.- He didn't have a clue.

0:21:52 > 0:21:55'So Mark leads 2-1. Next to walk the plank,

0:21:55 > 0:21:57'Blackbeard himself, Sam.'

0:21:57 > 0:22:00- Well, hello there, Mr Johnny Depp. - Hi there, Mark. How are you?

0:22:00 > 0:22:04- I'm fine and dandy because I'm 2-1 ahead.- Yeah.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06- Not for long.- Well, we shall see.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09Stop stroking your parrot and get your head in the game.

0:22:09 > 0:22:12- This parrot's better than Felix. - No. What's the name of it?- Ian.

0:22:12 > 0:22:15- Ian the parrot?- Yeah.- Brilliant.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21Here they come. I can see him.

0:22:21 > 0:22:22- Ooh, arr!- Ooh, arr!

0:22:22 > 0:22:26I am a pirate, searching for gold, when I find it, you will be told!

0:22:26 > 0:22:28- Ooh, arr!- Ooh, arr!

0:22:28 > 0:22:30- Louder!- ARRR!

0:22:30 > 0:22:34- Arr! What about Dad? Ooh, arr! - Ooh, arr!- Ooh, arr!

0:22:34 > 0:22:36- Gggrrr!- On your way, matey!

0:22:36 > 0:22:38Oh, man, he hasn't got a clue.

0:22:38 > 0:22:43- I'm in deep trouble.- Ooh, arr!

0:22:43 > 0:22:47- What has happened to your beard? - Listen -- Look at it! - Listen -- Look at that!

0:22:47 > 0:22:49- Has it come off?- Yeah, big time!

0:22:49 > 0:22:52And he still didn't get me. I am the king of this game.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54'So that's 2-2.'

0:22:57 > 0:23:01'Will these two plonkers go from hero to zero?

0:23:01 > 0:23:04- 'First up, it's Mark.' - MUSIC: Theme from "Gladiators"

0:23:04 > 0:23:07- What are you doing?- I'm flexing. - Right.

0:23:07 > 0:23:09Here's what'll happen. James will come towards you.

0:23:09 > 0:23:13You're a superhero, obviously, and you work for a comic-book shop

0:23:13 > 0:23:17and you're doing a survey on different superheroes.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19You need to ask him three questions

0:23:19 > 0:23:22- and if you get past that, job's a good 'un.- Easy.

0:23:22 > 0:23:23Don't forget, if James says,

0:23:23 > 0:23:27- "You are Mark from Sam and Mark," it's over.- He won't.

0:23:27 > 0:23:30Here he comes. Good luck. Don't mess it up.

0:23:30 > 0:23:33I don't suppose you can help me for a few minutes?

0:23:34 > 0:23:35- Yeah, sure.- Cool.

0:23:35 > 0:23:40I work in a local superhero comic-book store and we're just doing a short questionnaire.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42Who's your favourite superhero?

0:23:42 > 0:23:45If there's such thing as TurtleMan, I'll go with that.

0:23:45 > 0:23:48- OK. Making up your own. I like that. - TurtleMan?

0:23:48 > 0:23:52If you could invent a superpower, what would your superpower be?

0:23:52 > 0:23:54He's got no idea!

0:23:58 > 0:24:02- I'm sensing a theme that you like turtles.- Yes.

0:24:02 > 0:24:05Power to create turtles!

0:24:05 > 0:24:10What would your superhero name be? I'm thinking it'll be turtle-related.

0:24:10 > 0:24:11TurtleZilla.

0:24:11 > 0:24:14TurtleZilla? That's great. That's a great one. OK.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16Can't believe he's getting away with it.

0:24:16 > 0:24:18All right, thanks. I'll put that in the records.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21See you. Cool.

0:24:21 > 0:24:24He's just got a mask on. This is ridiculous!

0:24:26 > 0:24:29- 'Ooh, hang about!' - 'He's coming back! He's coming back!'

0:24:29 > 0:24:33SAM LAUGHS This could be it! This could be it!

0:24:33 > 0:24:36- ..that's a good choice. - Are you Mark from Sam and Mark?

0:24:38 > 0:24:41- I am indeed, mate.- Yes!

0:24:41 > 0:24:44- How you doing? Are you all right? - Yeah!

0:24:44 > 0:24:45Come here, mate.

0:24:45 > 0:24:49I've been playing a little game with you all day called In Yer Face.

0:24:49 > 0:24:51But your mate George

0:24:51 > 0:24:55- has had him doing exactly the same thing.- How're you doing?

0:24:55 > 0:24:57Which means, Sam Nixon,

0:24:57 > 0:25:01- you might win In Yer Face. - It's looking good.

0:25:01 > 0:25:03'So the scores remain two apiece.

0:25:03 > 0:25:06'Next up is Super Sam.'

0:25:06 > 0:25:09- You have to do exactly what I did with George.- What, get caught?

0:25:09 > 0:25:12- SAM LAUGHS - Yes, very good. Excellent banter.

0:25:12 > 0:25:14- You are wearing Spandex.- I know.

0:25:14 > 0:25:17- I think we're both losers on this one.- That's true.

0:25:17 > 0:25:21- We're both losers here. - Good luck, mate.- Thanks, mate.

0:25:22 > 0:25:24Excuse me! Sorry.

0:25:26 > 0:25:29- Hi, mate. How old are you? Do you mind me asking?- Ten.- Perfect.

0:25:29 > 0:25:32- Do you mind if I ask some questions? - Yeah.- Brilliant.

0:25:32 > 0:25:35I work in the comic-book shop just over the road

0:25:35 > 0:25:39and we're just doing some research on superheroes, basically.

0:25:39 > 0:25:43- Are you into superheroes? - Yes, I'm into comics.- Brilliant. - I like comic art, as well.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45High-five. Nice one! Perfect, mate.

0:25:45 > 0:25:49- Who's your favourite superhero? - Probably Green Lantern.- Amazing.

0:25:49 > 0:25:52Now, if you could invent your own superhero,

0:25:52 > 0:25:55what superpower would you have?

0:25:55 > 0:25:58I would probably have mind-reading,

0:25:58 > 0:26:01- telepathy thing. - Mind-reading. That's clever.

0:26:01 > 0:26:04And what would your superhero's name be?

0:26:04 > 0:26:06Erm, Zylock.

0:26:06 > 0:26:08- Zylock!- Zylock?!

0:26:08 > 0:26:12- Amazing. And do you think this area needs a new superhero?- Yeah!

0:26:12 > 0:26:15- Yeah!- Yes, I think it does.- Yeah? - Yeah.- He's absolutely brilliant.

0:26:15 > 0:26:21- Would you have a sidekick?- Yes. - I think duos are the way to go, really, aren't they?

0:26:21 > 0:26:23- Batman and Robin.- Batman and Robin.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25- Ant and Dec.- Yeah, Ant and Dec!

0:26:25 > 0:26:29- All right, thank you very much. Nice to see you. Bye, mate.- Bye.

0:26:29 > 0:26:30Unbelievable!

0:26:33 > 0:26:36- Oh, man!- Do you know what my superpower should be?

0:26:36 > 0:26:40- Winning this game. - I am truly mortified.

0:26:40 > 0:26:42He's coming back, though. He's coming back.

0:26:42 > 0:26:45KLAXON WAILS

0:26:47 > 0:26:49Excuse me? It's just...

0:26:49 > 0:26:52- Sorry, you look like someone I know. - Really? Who's that?

0:26:52 > 0:26:56Like, erm, Sam from Sam and Mark.

0:26:56 > 0:26:58That's interesting.

0:26:58 > 0:27:03- George...- Yeah? - I am Sam from Sam and Mark!

0:27:03 > 0:27:06SAM LAUGHS

0:27:08 > 0:27:11Come here, mate! Are you all right?

0:27:11 > 0:27:13Got him, got him, got him!

0:27:13 > 0:27:18- You remember this morning, when a beekeeper knocked on your door? - Was that you?- That was me!

0:27:18 > 0:27:20- Was that seriously you? - That was me.

0:27:20 > 0:27:23Also, do you remember this morning when you walked past a pirate?

0:27:23 > 0:27:26- No way!- That was me. And obviously, it was me just then.

0:27:26 > 0:27:28And what you don't know

0:27:28 > 0:27:33is that Mark has been playing this with your very good friend James.

0:27:33 > 0:27:35Here he is right now. How are you doing, mate?

0:27:35 > 0:27:39THEY LAUGH That's impossible!

0:27:39 > 0:27:41Lads, you have been playing In Yer Face today,

0:27:41 > 0:27:44and I am happy to say that because you...

0:27:44 > 0:27:48- Oh, no, it's a draw now, isn't it? - It's a draw!- No!- You've not won!

0:27:48 > 0:27:52- NO!- But I'm happy to take the draw. I'm happy to take the draw.

0:27:52 > 0:27:55- Nice work.- Well done. - High-fives all round for that.

0:27:55 > 0:27:57- That was awesome.- High-fives!

0:27:58 > 0:28:01Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd