0:00:01 > 0:00:03BELL RINGS
0:00:04 > 0:00:06Shssh!
0:00:09 > 0:00:10Shssh!
0:00:28 > 0:00:31- Shssh! - BELL RINGS
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Welcome to the School Of Silence.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35This is where the noisiest children
0:00:35 > 0:00:37in the country are sent for the ultimate in silent training.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Today four new pupils are stepping up.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42They have one day to prove that they can be silent.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46Can you do that in a day? Is it possible? It's time to find out.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49This noisy lot are from Cardiff and Buckinghamshire and are having their
0:00:49 > 0:00:53noise levels assessed by the headmistress and the form tutor.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57You child, name?
0:00:57 > 0:01:02- Taylor.- Taylor loves to scream at the top of her voice
0:01:02 > 0:01:04and can often be found shouting on the swings in the playground.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06You, name?
0:01:06 > 0:01:10- Aaron.- Aaron is a keen drummer, but doesn't always practise
0:01:10 > 0:01:15in the appropriate place. He once got caught playing in the library.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17- You, name?- Charlotte.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Charlotte is the giggler in the group. Her class teacher
0:01:20 > 0:01:23is always making her swap desks just to keep her quiet.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25You, name?
0:01:25 > 0:01:28- Alice.- Alice is Charlotte's twin sister
0:01:28 > 0:01:31and, what a surprise, she's also a giggler
0:01:31 > 0:01:35who loves nothing more than laughing out loud with her mates.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39They've certainly come to the right place for their silent training.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42- They've got a tough day ahead of them.- That's enough, get out!
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Shssh!
0:01:47 > 0:01:51Here's how the day works. The new pupils have three
0:01:51 > 0:01:54challenging classes to learn how to be silent,
0:01:54 > 0:01:57followed by the crucial final exam which will determine whether they
0:01:57 > 0:02:02graduate or will be expelled. If they are too noisy...
0:02:05 > 0:02:12..I will know about it thanks to this device, the Gobstop 2000, the latest
0:02:12 > 0:02:14in noise-monitoring technology.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17If they pass, they will graduate
0:02:17 > 0:02:20and receive the ultimate reward,
0:02:20 > 0:02:22the Golden Gobstopper.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25If they fail to keep THAT shut,
0:02:25 > 0:02:29- then I will have no choice but to expel them.- Shssh!
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Now, before we begin I must ensure
0:02:31 > 0:02:36the school has been hushed down. KLAXON BLARES
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Seven seconds to hush-down.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43Seven...six...five...
0:02:43 > 0:02:48four...three...two...one.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Shssh!
0:02:51 > 0:02:53SHE SNORES
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Shssh!
0:02:55 > 0:02:58It's time for their silent training to start in their first class
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- of the day with Mr Gross.- Shssh!
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Come in.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06- Hello.- Hello.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Hello, hello. Sit down, please.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Right, shush!
0:03:17 > 0:03:23Thank you. I am Mr Gross and I am your teacher for General Studies.
0:03:23 > 0:03:28This is your first lesson in your silent training and it is incredibly
0:03:28 > 0:03:32important that you pay attention.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35We will use a gobstopper from the jar to select
0:03:35 > 0:03:39which child will be taking part.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43There's a gobstopper in there the same colour as each of your ties.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46Remember, Miss Gobstop, the headmistress, is listening
0:03:46 > 0:03:50at all times on these microphones.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54If you make too much noise, the Gobstop 2000
0:03:54 > 0:03:56- will know about it.- Shssh!
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Time for silent training to begin.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01What You Looking At. The chosen child will have 30 seconds
0:04:01 > 0:04:04to stare at me in absolute silence.
0:04:04 > 0:04:09- Does that sound easy?- Yeah.- Yes. No.- Well, shall we find out?
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Alice, would you like to pick a gobstopper?
0:04:11 > 0:04:14- OK.- Have a little pick, see who's in there.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Remember, you're in there, too.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20Oh, what a shame, it's you - blue.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24Lovely, so you'll be doing the stare-off.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26- Shssh!- Remember, no laughing,
0:04:26 > 0:04:29no giggling, no looking away. You must stare at me.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32You're not allowed to avert your gaze. Remember, Miss Gobstop
0:04:32 > 0:04:37is listening, so if you do make any noise, she will hear.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39- Are you ready?- Yes.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Ommmmm....
0:04:44 > 0:04:49Sorry, I'm just psyching myself up. OK. Right, are you ready?
0:04:49 > 0:04:53- Yes.- Your time starts...now.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55And they're off.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01It's a good start from Alice.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Here come the funny faces.
0:05:06 > 0:05:07Not working.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Now, Mr Gross usually likes to gross them out.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Oh, that's disgusting, but still no sound.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Time up! Well...
0:05:25 > 0:05:27You can keep that, dear.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Well, I'm quite impressed.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33I even had a good root around and found some earwax for you
0:05:33 > 0:05:35and you didn't crack.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Impressive, Alice.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40And not bad by the rest of you, although I did hear
0:05:40 > 0:05:41a little snigger at some point.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44I think we need to step it up a notch.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48Good start. So, bin that hankie, Mr Gross, and show us what's next.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50Clown Face.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54One child will stand behind the chosen child
0:05:54 > 0:05:59and have 30 seconds to turn their face into a lovely clown.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Aaron, you can pick who's doing the next one.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04No peeking!
0:06:06 > 0:06:08White. Who's white?
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Charlotte! Charlotte, indeed.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14- Shssh!- Remember, Miss Gobstop is listening on your microphones.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16No matter how ridiculous she looks,
0:06:16 > 0:06:19even if she looks humorously ridiculous,
0:06:19 > 0:06:23you must try to suppress any laughter, is that clear?
0:06:23 > 0:06:25OK, jolly good. Right, get your arms in there.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Your time starts...
0:06:29 > 0:06:31- ..now.- And here we go.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36A bit of giggling from Charlotte there.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43On goes the face paint.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45A cheesy grin from Alice.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47A bit of noise from Charlotte.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49And a giggle from Taylor.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51This is quite a tough one.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57They're not really managing to keep giggles in.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00And Taylor laughing again. Oh, dear.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04And time up. Well, I must say
0:07:04 > 0:07:07that was an absolute unqualified failure.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11But even though you couldn't see what you were doing, she looks good.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14She looks actually like a clown.
0:07:14 > 0:07:15Oh, yes, high 10.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17- Oh! Good grief.- Shssh!
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Time for more silent training. Flying Toilet Paper.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24In case you were wondering, this test involves some toilet paper
0:07:24 > 0:07:25that will be flying.
0:07:25 > 0:07:30You will have 30 seconds to throw some toilet paper at a target
0:07:30 > 0:07:35that will be around the neck of the chosen child. You must try
0:07:35 > 0:07:39to get as many bits of toilet paper on to the target as possible.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Of course, this must be done in absolute...
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- Silence.- Yes, Aaron! You're finally learning. Brilliant.
0:07:45 > 0:07:51Naturally, being toilet paper, we've soaked it in toilet water.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53But I must assure you,
0:07:53 > 0:07:57there is no wee in the water, I tasted it myself.
0:07:57 > 0:07:58Flying Toilet Paper.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02Let's find out who's doing the task.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Taylor, I think you can pick the gobstopper this time.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Remember, as you've seen, it might be you who you pick out.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11White. I wonder who that is.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15Oh, dear, it's you again, Charlotte!
0:08:15 > 0:08:16Are you looking forward to it?
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- No.- No, why would you be? Right.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Shssh!
0:08:21 > 0:08:23And here is a lovely bowl
0:08:23 > 0:08:26of sloppy toilet paper.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30And, as you'll see, it's quite wet and soggy.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34It sticks delightfully to whatever you chuck it at.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37- OK? Are you ready, Taylor?- Yeah.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Charlotte, are you ready?
0:08:39 > 0:08:44- Yes.- Yes, good. Your time starts...now.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Bull's eye!
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Oh, some loud chuckling from Taylor, there.
0:08:54 > 0:08:55More laughing.
0:08:55 > 0:09:00- Charlotte staying quiet. - It's all gone!
0:09:00 > 0:09:03- It's all gone!- Some talking now.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06You cheater!
0:09:06 > 0:09:09That talking from Taylor is going to register on the Gobstop 2000.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Yeah.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Oh, dear. That's nearly time.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Time!
0:09:17 > 0:09:23Well, you set off the Gobstop 2000 numerous times in that task.
0:09:23 > 0:09:28However, you did empty the bowl and get some very good shots on target.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30There is a bit of splatterage,
0:09:30 > 0:09:34but it is, frankly, unavoidable in such a messy game.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38However, what isn't unavoidable is this incessant sniggering
0:09:38 > 0:09:40and laughing that you were all doing.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Miss Gobstop will not be impressed.
0:09:43 > 0:09:47You were sitting here like a chattering monkey, "Eeh, eeh, eeh!"
0:09:47 > 0:09:49all the way through, Charlotte.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Ridiculous. You, Taylor, were sitting here going,
0:09:52 > 0:09:56"Ha ha ha!" Ridiculous! Right...
0:09:56 > 0:09:58BELL RINGS
0:09:58 > 0:10:01I've had enough. Get out of my class, please. Go! Go on!
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- Yay!- Bye.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06- Goodbye.- Bye.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09- Yay!- Out, quickly. Hurry up.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13Taylor and Charlotte, the little gigglers, I'm going to have
0:10:13 > 0:10:16to keep my ear on them.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18That was your first lesson with Mr Gross, how was it?
0:10:18 > 0:10:21- Disgusting.- Really?
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Now you can see why we call him Mr Gross.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27Charlotte, you got the raw end of the deal, really, didn't you?
0:10:27 > 0:10:30You've been turned into a clown in Clown Face. How was that for you?
0:10:30 > 0:10:33It was horrible.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Did you stay silent while it was happening?
0:10:35 > 0:10:37- Kind of.- It's not easy, is it?
0:10:37 > 0:10:40- How did you find the test?- It was hard cos I couldn't see her face.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- And there were lots of giggles, I heard.- Yeah.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47- Yes. How do you think you're doing as a team? It's a team effort.- Good.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50- Not bad.- OK.- Yeah, OK.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54It'll probably get harder, but then we'll be working as a team, so...
0:10:54 > 0:10:56So, you're going to the canteen for a bit of food, so good luck.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59Enjoy yourselves. See you in a bit, Charlotte.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03- Hopefully someone else will get picked in this one. See you.- Bye.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05- Ta-ra. - BELL RINGS
0:11:07 > 0:11:11Attention, this is the School Of Silence.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Pupils are reminded that calling out in pain
0:11:13 > 0:11:16if they graze their knee in the playground
0:11:16 > 0:11:17is totally unacceptable.
0:11:17 > 0:11:22With one class behind them it's time for some more silent training.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Shssh!
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Coo-ee! Britney, dear?
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Look sharp, dear, it's lunchtime.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Hello, my dears.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34- Hello.- Hello! Thank you.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Right, my name is Nora,
0:11:36 > 0:11:40Nora Nugget, and I'm the dinner lady here at the School Of Silence.
0:11:40 > 0:11:41Welcome to my kitchen.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43And behind me here is my...
0:11:43 > 0:11:45My lovely assistant Britney.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Say hello to Britney.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50- Hello, Britney.- Lovely. There we go.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Now, Mr Gross tells me you were rather rowdy in his class.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55- We were laughing.- You were laughing?
0:11:55 > 0:11:58- Yeah.- I don't want any giggling here, all right?
0:11:58 > 0:12:01- Shssh!- What's up first on the menu?
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Human Pizza!
0:12:03 > 0:12:05What's a Human Pizza?
0:12:05 > 0:12:07A Human Pizza is simply a pizza
0:12:07 > 0:12:10that is made on one of your teammates' heads, all right?
0:12:10 > 0:12:16So, we've got some tomato sauce, we've got sweet corn, olives and,
0:12:16 > 0:12:19of course, finish off with a nice sprinkle of grated cheese
0:12:19 > 0:12:21on the top, there. So, Britney dear,
0:12:21 > 0:12:25could you ask young Charlotte to pick a coloured gobstopper for us?
0:12:25 > 0:12:29Go on, Charlotte, don't be scared, dear. Who's it going to be?
0:12:31 > 0:12:34Who's it going to be? I can barely contain my...
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Oh, Alice, it's you!
0:12:37 > 0:12:40Well, now, do I understand that this is your sister, Charlotte?
0:12:40 > 0:12:44- I expect you're going to enjoy this rather a lot!- Shssh!
0:12:44 > 0:12:47So, you're going to start with the tomato sauce and then we've got some
0:12:47 > 0:12:49herbs here, olives, sweetcorn
0:12:49 > 0:12:52and finish off with a nice bit of grated cheese on the top.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55All right, Charlotte, yes? Now, you are remembering
0:12:55 > 0:12:59that this must be done in absolute silence, aren't you?
0:12:59 > 0:13:03- Yes.- Charlotte, you have 30 seconds of absolute silence
0:13:03 > 0:13:06to turn your sister into a Human Pizza, all right, my dear?
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Your 30 seconds of silence starts now.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15GIGGLING
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Lots of laughing, there.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24More giggling from Aaron.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30On goes the sweetcorn.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32GIGGLING
0:13:34 > 0:13:37And the olives. This is very noisy.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39A few seconds left.
0:13:39 > 0:13:45- Oh, I hate you!- Right, well, that's time up and I'm afraid you
0:13:45 > 0:13:50were making noise and giggling and chatting the whole way through that.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53You do look a state, my dear. We'd better get you cleaned up,
0:13:53 > 0:13:55all right?
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Right, my dears, I think it's time for you to go off to your next
0:13:58 > 0:14:00lesson, science, with Miss Bunsen in the laboratory,
0:14:00 > 0:14:04but please could you make sure you all wash your hands before science?
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- Lovely, well, nice to meet you all. - BELL RINGS
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Thank you very much and off you go.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10- Cheerio. - Bye.- Bye-bye, dears. Cheerio.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13Nice and quietly, thank you.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Oh, dear. Alice and Aaron have dragged themselves down to the
0:14:16 > 0:14:19noisy level of Taylor and Charlotte.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Unimpressed!
0:14:22 > 0:14:24So, how was the canteen experience?
0:14:24 > 0:14:26- OK.- Yeah?- Except for her.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29- It was fun. - I have to say, Charlotte, maybe
0:14:29 > 0:14:32a future career there as a chef, as long as your restaurant puts the
0:14:32 > 0:14:34food on people's heads when they come in...
0:14:34 > 0:14:36- I don't think she'll get a lot of money.- No?
0:14:36 > 0:14:40- No.- You wouldn't pay for that? - I wouldn't.- Well, how is it to taste?
0:14:40 > 0:14:41- I haven't tasted it.- Oh, OK.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42I don't think I want to.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46Do you think now from Mr Gross class to here you've got more quiet?
0:14:46 > 0:14:48We're getting better.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51- Can you do better? - Yes.- Well, you're now going to go
0:14:51 > 0:14:54and meet Miss Bunsen. She's waiting in the science class.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Off you go. Good luck. More food on heads, please.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00- We like that. - BELL RINGS
0:15:02 > 0:15:03Attention, attention.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05This is the School Of Silence.
0:15:05 > 0:15:10Pupils in the library are reminded to judge books by their covers.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13The constant noise of turning pages is highly distracting for
0:15:13 > 0:15:15- other students.- Shssh!
0:15:15 > 0:15:18It's time for the last class of the day before their final exam.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21It's silent training with Miss Bunsen.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25Come in, come in. What a noise!
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Oh, dear, oh, dear, Aaron.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30My name is Miss Bunsen and this is
0:15:30 > 0:15:35your science class. What I need you to understand, boys and girls,
0:15:35 > 0:15:41- is silence in science. - First experiment, please.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Star Suit.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Now, one of you will be wearing the suit, the others will be
0:15:46 > 0:15:51throwing balls, which represents the planets, towards the suit.
0:15:51 > 0:15:56Hopefully the suit will suck in the balls and make them stick.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00Let's see which one of you will be
0:16:00 > 0:16:07the sun. Let's have you picking, Aaron as you've got such a big gob.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10- Oh, unlucky, Charlotte!- Shssh!
0:16:11 > 0:16:14- Are you ready?- Yes.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18Right, of course this has to be done in complete and utter silence
0:16:18 > 0:16:22- which is going to be quite difficult for you chatterboxes?- Yes.
0:16:22 > 0:16:23- Yes. Ready?- Yes.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Your time starts...now!
0:16:29 > 0:16:31GIGGLING
0:16:31 > 0:16:34That's a very noisy start from the team.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40They need to keep those noise levels down.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44They're hitting the star suit,
0:16:44 > 0:16:47but they're also setting off the Gobstop 2000.
0:16:52 > 0:16:58- I missed.- Are they getting worse? - All right, time's up, time's up!
0:16:58 > 0:17:01Right, well,
0:17:01 > 0:17:05Charlotte you did really well and it's good to see that my Star Suit
0:17:05 > 0:17:08is working perfectly well.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Chat, chat, chat, chat, chat, chat, chat,
0:17:11 > 0:17:12chatter all the way through.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16- Chattering and laughing! You're not meant to make a sound.- Shssh!
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Last one before the final exam.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Human Car Wash.
0:17:22 > 0:17:27Well, I thought to myself what is the point in wasting time taking
0:17:27 > 0:17:29your clothes off to wash them?
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Why not wash them while you're still wearing them?
0:17:32 > 0:17:37- Genius! Now, let's see who is going to be...- I want to do it.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39The guinea pig.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Let's get Alice to choose.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Mix them up, Alice.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45No looking!
0:17:45 > 0:17:46Sorry.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- Oh, it's the white one again. - Oh, my goodness, Charlotte!
0:17:49 > 0:17:54You are the chosen one yet again.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57- Shssh!- You'll lather her up, yes?
0:17:57 > 0:18:03Taylor, you'll wax her and, Aaron, you will spray her down with water.
0:18:03 > 0:18:08Now then, are you ready to do this experiment in complete silence?
0:18:08 > 0:18:12Then your time starts...now.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18OK, on with the foam.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20A little giggle there.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27And now the wax.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Actually staying quite silent.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39OK, the water rinse.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43Maybe the silence training is working.
0:18:43 > 0:18:49Time's up, time's up! Let's have a look. Are you clean, Charlotte?
0:18:49 > 0:18:53Well, done for staying quiet, I'm very pleased about that.
0:18:53 > 0:18:54BELL RINGS
0:18:54 > 0:18:58Off you go. Colonel Kittens doesn't stand for lateness.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Slow, but silently.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Is it broken?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04I don't think so.
0:19:04 > 0:19:09They're just being exceedingly quiet, which is just the way I like it.
0:19:09 > 0:19:10Wonderful.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14So, that was the end of your science lesson.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16- How was it?- Good.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Yeah? It's part of your is training to say stay silent.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23- Charlotte, do you think you're managing that?- Yes.- Yeah? Alice?
0:19:25 > 0:19:28I... I like to see my sister getting wet and foamy!
0:19:28 > 0:19:31When you go to the final exam, which you're about to,
0:19:31 > 0:19:34- you have to be quiet as a group. Do you think you can?- Yeah.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37How confident are you that you're not going to make any noise?
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- Very confident.- Are you? - Not that confident.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41- Aaron, not so much?- 50/50.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- Are you ready for this?- Yes. - Colonel Kittens is waiting for you.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46It's been nice knowing you! Good luck.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Attention, attention!
0:19:52 > 0:19:55The school orchestra will be performing their
0:19:55 > 0:19:58stringless violin quartet in the hall this afternoon.
0:20:00 > 0:20:04They've had their three classes and now it's time for their final exam.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Colonel Kittens will really put them to the test.
0:20:06 > 0:20:11To graduate and win the Golden Gobstopper they must keep that shut.
0:20:11 > 0:20:16If they set off the Gobstop 2000 three times they will be expelled.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Well, their silent training has all
0:20:18 > 0:20:22been building up to this, their final exam with Colonel Kittens.
0:20:22 > 0:20:28Right, you terrible little twerps,
0:20:28 > 0:20:32I am Colonel Kittens
0:20:32 > 0:20:35and it's my job to make you crack.
0:20:35 > 0:20:42I wonder if you're going to be noisy during your final exam.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45These are the items at my disposal
0:20:45 > 0:20:49and, believe you me, they will all be coming your way.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Now, question, do you think
0:20:54 > 0:20:58you can achieve success?
0:20:58 > 0:21:01- Yes, sir!- Are you ready?
0:21:01 > 0:21:04Yes, sir!
0:21:04 > 0:21:11- Then your time starts now!- And he's straight in with the feather duster,
0:21:11 > 0:21:13classic Colonel strategy.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Straight for the feet.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18A ticklish part of the body.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24A little bit of giggling from Aaron, there.
0:21:24 > 0:21:29Yes, I think the Colonel has spotted a weakness.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32OK, here comes the gloop bowl.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34The girls are staying very strong.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39But a little bit of a giggle from Aaron again.
0:21:39 > 0:21:40OK, it's the jelly tank.
0:21:40 > 0:21:45Charlotte gets it, and so does Alice.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Oh, no, it's one of the Colonel's silly faces accompanied
0:21:48 > 0:21:49by a very silly walk.
0:21:49 > 0:21:53This normally works.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57Yes, some definite chuckling there from Aaron and Taylor, but is that
0:21:57 > 0:21:59enough to set off the Gobstop 2000?
0:21:59 > 0:22:01HE GIGGLES AND BLOWS RASPBERRY
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Well, we had a couple of things there.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06A stare-out competition, a big laugh and what I think was,
0:22:06 > 0:22:07yes, the trump machine.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09PRESSES TRUMP BUTTON
0:22:09 > 0:22:13Hold strong, Alice. We're with you on this one.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Good job.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21It's a face full of gunge.
0:22:21 > 0:22:25And some silly string, Colonel holding nothing back today.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27Taylor, keep those giggles in.
0:22:27 > 0:22:32You're dealing with an expert. Here comes the watering can.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36Still staying strong.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39- Very impressive. - BELL RINGS
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Time up!
0:22:41 > 0:22:47Well, look at the sorry state of you.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Alice, you look like a blueberry
0:22:50 > 0:22:52muffin exploded on your head.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56- Am I making you laugh? Do I amuse you?- Yes.
0:22:56 > 0:23:01Good, if that's what it takes to get you expelled.
0:23:01 > 0:23:06Now, get out of my gym!
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Are you still here?
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- How do you think it went? - I think we passed.- Do you?
0:23:16 > 0:23:19- No, I didn't because I didn't stop laughing.- What do you think,
0:23:19 > 0:23:22- Charlotte? How do you think you did? - I think I did well.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24OK, Alice?
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Well, I laughed at the end of it.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29But it was once, not three times.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32- Do you think between you you've all made it go off three times?- No.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- No, I think twice. - No, probably once or twice, yeah.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37What do you think, graduated or expelled?
0:23:37 > 0:23:41- Graduated.- OK, well, Miss Gobstop is waiting for you. Off you go.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44- Good luck.- I'm not going in first.
0:23:44 > 0:23:45I'll go last.
0:23:45 > 0:23:50- Shssh!- It's time to find out how they did in their final exam.
0:23:50 > 0:23:55- Miss Gobstop, there seems to be some children here.- Let them in.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Come forward, Aaron.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04- Thank you, Miss Bunsen. - Thank you, Miss Gobstop.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Silently.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08You were sent here because you
0:24:08 > 0:24:13were all far too noisy and I've put you through silent training. Barney.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Sorry, miss.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Let's look at your reports.
0:24:19 > 0:24:25Aaron, you're a cheeky, giggly little boy, aren't you?
0:24:25 > 0:24:28- Yes,- Shssh! - Oh, yes, high 10.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30Oh! Good grief.
0:24:30 > 0:24:36GIGGLING Maybe the girls set a bad example.
0:24:36 > 0:24:41Taylor, you started the day with a few noisy chuckles.
0:24:41 > 0:24:42Shssh! GIGGLING
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Shssh!
0:24:48 > 0:24:52Alice, one half of the terrible twins,
0:24:52 > 0:24:55you may think you've got through the day silently,
0:24:55 > 0:24:59but my Gobstop 2000 doesn't lie.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02It picks up every single noise,
0:25:02 > 0:25:04including when you were made into a pizza.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07I didn't know pizza's made noise, Alice.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10Shssh! GIGGLING
0:25:11 > 0:25:15Charlotte, you were chosen several times today.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Unlucky.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20You've been pelted with toilet paper,
0:25:20 > 0:25:22planets,
0:25:22 > 0:25:26dressed as a clown,
0:25:26 > 0:25:27put through a car wash.
0:25:30 > 0:25:31Did you make it quietly?
0:25:31 > 0:25:35I don't think so.
0:25:35 > 0:25:39Giggled, chuckled all day.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44In your final exam how do you think you did?
0:25:44 > 0:25:47- Bad.- Good.
0:25:49 > 0:25:54Right, I can tell you, you giggled throughout your whole exam.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56It wasn't very good.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Shssh!
0:25:58 > 0:26:00SNIGGERING
0:26:11 > 0:26:12- Shssh! - But did you fail...
0:26:12 > 0:26:14or will you graduate?
0:26:14 > 0:26:18I can reveal...
0:26:21 > 0:26:24You graduated.
0:26:24 > 0:26:25Oh, yes!
0:26:25 > 0:26:30- Aaron.- I'm just excited for them.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Your training has been a success, children.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36My Gobstop 2000 didn't go off at all.
0:26:36 > 0:26:37Not once.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42You did giggle, but you kept it controlled.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45Well, done. Very impressed.
0:26:45 > 0:26:49I can now reward you
0:26:49 > 0:26:53with the Golden Gobstopper.
0:26:53 > 0:26:57Take it with pride, Charlotte, you deserve it.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Don't drop it.
0:26:59 > 0:27:03Now, be on your way and spread the silence.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Go celebrate silently.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Well, done, guys.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13- DOOR THUDS - Yay!
0:27:13 > 0:27:15GIGGLING
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Be on your way.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21Take them away from the window.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23- We'll do it silently, yeah? Yes.- OK.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25- Nice and quietly.- Nice and quietly.
0:27:25 > 0:27:26BELL RINGS Come on!
0:27:26 > 0:27:29WILD CHEERING
0:27:46 > 0:27:48- Yay!- Shssh!
0:27:48 > 0:27:51Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:51 > 0:27:53E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk