0:00:00 > 0:00:02Welcome to the School Of Silence.
0:00:02 > 0:00:05This is where the noisiest children in the country
0:00:05 > 0:00:07are sent to prove they CAN keep quiet.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13We're about to meet four new arrivals,
0:00:13 > 0:00:16but can they keep quiet for just one day?
0:00:16 > 0:00:17Woo hoo, I doubt it!
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Shh!
0:00:36 > 0:00:40BELL RINGS, CHILDREN SCREAM
0:00:47 > 0:00:49Here's how the day works.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52The new pupils have three challenging classes
0:00:52 > 0:00:54to prove they can be silent,
0:00:54 > 0:00:56followed by the crucial Final Exam
0:00:56 > 0:01:00which will determine whether they graduate or will be expelled.
0:01:00 > 0:01:04If I think the pupils managed to stay quiet enough to pass a class...
0:01:08 > 0:01:11..then they will bank a prize from my Confiscation Cupboard.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14But if I think they are being too noisy...
0:01:16 > 0:01:17Arrghh!
0:01:17 > 0:01:18HE LAUGHS
0:01:18 > 0:01:19SCREAMING
0:01:19 > 0:01:21..they will get nothing,
0:01:21 > 0:01:24and I WILL know about it, thanks to this device.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26The Gobstop 3000,
0:01:26 > 0:01:30the very latest in noise-monitoring technology.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33If they pass the final exam,
0:01:33 > 0:01:35they will take all the prizes they have banked,
0:01:35 > 0:01:37and receive the ultimate reward,
0:01:37 > 0:01:40the Golden Gobstopper.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44However, if they fail to keep THAT shut,
0:01:44 > 0:01:47I will have no choice but to expel them,
0:01:47 > 0:01:50and they will go home with absolutely nothing.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52These noisy pupils are from Hackney in London,
0:01:52 > 0:01:56and are having their noise levels checked by our splendid headteacher,
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Miss Gobstop,
0:01:57 > 0:02:00and their form tutor, Mr Gross.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02You! Step forward! Name!
0:02:02 > 0:02:04George.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07George thinks that the most annoying loud noise in the world
0:02:07 > 0:02:09is a baby crying.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Huh! Has he heard himself?
0:02:11 > 0:02:13You! Step forward! Name!
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Anna.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Anna says her favourite loud noise is a mooing cow,
0:02:20 > 0:02:22and she once got chased by a herd of sheep.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Oo-hoo! Baaa-d times!
0:02:25 > 0:02:28You! Step forward! Name!
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Sameer.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Sameer can do a good impression of a screaming monster.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35Does he mean the noise or the look, or both?
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Shouty Sameer. Right, OK.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42You! Step forward! Name!
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Rachel.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47Rachel says the loudest noise she ever made
0:02:47 > 0:02:49was screaming her head off on a rollercoaster.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Fortunately, doctors managed to sew her head back on.
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Last in. OK.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55All right. Get out. That's it.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Come on out.
0:03:03 > 0:03:04It's time for their first class,
0:03:04 > 0:03:07General Studies with Mr Gross.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09This dirty teacher may not have washed for 15 years,
0:03:09 > 0:03:13but can our new pupils clean up in his class and bank a prize?
0:03:18 > 0:03:19KNOCKING
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Come in!
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Are you ready for some noise, Mr Gross?
0:03:23 > 0:03:24- Noise!- Oh no!
0:03:26 > 0:03:28It stinks of onions in here!
0:03:28 > 0:03:29Why are there seven?
0:03:31 > 0:03:34You're interrupting me in the middle of a lovely egg!
0:03:34 > 0:03:35CHILDREN: Ewww!
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Have you got sandals and socks?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Yes, I do.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41That's so disgusting!
0:03:41 > 0:03:42OK. I am Mr Gross.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46You're here to prove that you can be silent,
0:03:46 > 0:03:49- and I'm going to prove... - We CANNOT be silent!
0:03:49 > 0:03:50..that you can't.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54Miss Gobstop is listening at all times on the fluffy microphones,
0:03:54 > 0:03:58so SHE will know if you're being noisy or not.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00And if you are too noisy, you will fail my class.
0:04:00 > 0:04:05Right, it's time for your first Silent Test.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Your first Silent Test...
0:04:08 > 0:04:10is about insects.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Insects are lovely creatures,
0:04:12 > 0:04:15and you shouldn't be afraid of them.
0:04:15 > 0:04:20And YOU have to prove that you can remain quiet throughout this test.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Your Silent Test starts...
0:04:23 > 0:04:24now.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27In this test, Mr Gross has four boxes
0:04:27 > 0:04:29of his favourite creepy crawlies.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33Can the pupils keep quiet when he pours these bugs all over them?
0:04:36 > 0:04:38The first box, mealworms.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Mr Gross likes them with a side salad.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Ew, you're going to put THAT on them?
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Oh dear! And Rachel's ALREADY got Miss Gobstop's attention.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48HE GASPS
0:04:48 > 0:04:49No, a definite gasp.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Oh, shocked! But silent!
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Smart gameplay from Anna.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Time for George to meet the mealworms.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06RACHEL LAUGHS
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Oh, great self-control, George.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Oh, Rachel!
0:05:15 > 0:05:19Her giggles could cost this team their first prize.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Mr Gross helping out there, and really enjoying himself.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25How will they do with box number two?
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Oh, goody! It's maggot time.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Will they get the pupils squealing?
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Ah!
0:05:33 > 0:05:36A definite noise from Rachel. Can George control his fear?
0:05:38 > 0:05:39GEORGE GASPS
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Some faint squealing.
0:05:45 > 0:05:46ANNA GASPS
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Lovely maggots!
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Anna lets out a quiet gasp. Let's hope it WAS a gasp!
0:05:51 > 0:05:53ANNA SQUEALS
0:05:53 > 0:05:55And a squeal!
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Miss Gobstop not looking impressed.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04What's scuttling around in box number three?
0:06:08 > 0:06:11Mr Gross's chums, the beetles.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Ewww!
0:06:14 > 0:06:18Rachel's done it again. They'll get nothing if she keeps that up.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21(No way!)
0:06:21 > 0:06:22Yes way!
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Too much noise, George.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Anna doesn't like the look of those, but her fear is silent.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31That's impressive.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39GEORGE SQUEALS
0:06:39 > 0:06:43George is squealing again. What will Miss Gobstop make of THAT?
0:06:45 > 0:06:46Mr Gross really loves his job,
0:06:46 > 0:06:49as demonstrated by his cool moves.
0:06:49 > 0:06:54- It's the final box.- These ones are really, really friendly.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58By Jiminy! It's crickets!
0:06:58 > 0:06:59RACHEL AND SAMEER GASP
0:06:59 > 0:07:03Mr Gross's favourite tools of terror doing their job on the team already,
0:07:03 > 0:07:05and Anna's taken her hand out. Well, who can blame her?
0:07:10 > 0:07:14George and the gang are trying really hard to contain their fear.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Keep this up, guys, and you might bank that prize.
0:07:17 > 0:07:18But what will Anna do?
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Hold on! She's only gone and put her hand in AGAIN!
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Brave!
0:07:27 > 0:07:30No! It out again. Not so brave.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31This is tense stuff.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33It's getting out!
0:07:33 > 0:07:35- SAMEER:- Anna, come on!
0:07:35 > 0:07:38Anna's putting her hand back in AGAIN.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39- SAMEER:- Come on!
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Cricket-defying bravery at its best.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46And your Silent Test is over.
0:07:46 > 0:07:47CHILDREN SCREAM
0:07:50 > 0:07:52Get off!
0:07:52 > 0:07:55So, even though insects are very friendly,
0:07:55 > 0:07:57they're also quite dirty,
0:07:57 > 0:08:01so DO remember to wash your hands afterwards, OK?
0:08:01 > 0:08:05So, that's the end of your first Silent Test.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08How do you think you did?
0:08:08 > 0:08:11- George?- Well... - Do think you were silent?
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Always good to be positive,
0:08:13 > 0:08:15- but no.- Good. I like a realist.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Well, it doesn't matter what you think or what I think.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21It's what Miss Gobstop thinks that's important.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23'Attention, attention!'
0:08:23 > 0:08:25This is Miss Gobstop.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29'Rachel, Rachel, Rachel!
0:08:29 > 0:08:32'You REALLY have a lot of learning to do.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35'Silence is by no means your strong point.'
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Ew, you're going to put THAT on them?
0:08:37 > 0:08:40RACHEL LAUGHS
0:08:40 > 0:08:42'Sameer.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46'Talking is NOT allowed.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48'Neither is cheerleading.'
0:08:48 > 0:08:49Come on!
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Come on!
0:08:53 > 0:08:55'Anna.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58'Brave AND silent.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00'I like that.
0:09:07 > 0:09:08'George.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11'"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!
0:09:11 > 0:09:13'"Get off! Get off! Get off!"
0:09:17 > 0:09:18GEORGE GASPS
0:09:20 > 0:09:21GEORGE SQUEALS
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Class...
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Now, have the little Hackney horrors
0:09:25 > 0:09:27wormed their way out of this test with a prize?
0:09:27 > 0:09:29..Failed!
0:09:29 > 0:09:30CHILDREN BOO
0:09:30 > 0:09:33Ha ha!
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Too right, too right!
0:09:35 > 0:09:38And you're going to fail the rest of this school if you keep on like that.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Now get out of my class!
0:09:41 > 0:09:42That is SO unfair!
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Justice is what I call it, Rachel.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Go on, clear off!
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Don't slam the door!
0:09:49 > 0:09:53We failed Mr Gross's class.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55I know. It's so unfair!
0:09:55 > 0:09:57We're naturally noisy.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58We're going to not talk next time,
0:09:58 > 0:10:02and we're going to show those teachers who's boss.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06CHILDREN: Exclamation mark! Woo!
0:10:08 > 0:10:10'Attention, attention!
0:10:11 > 0:10:14'This is the School Of Silence.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18'Any announcements are cancelled until further notice.'
0:10:19 > 0:10:24I've been to the dentist.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Thank you.
0:10:26 > 0:10:27It's time for the second class,
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Geography with Miss Adventure.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32She can be silent in 156 different languages,
0:10:32 > 0:10:35but can the new pupils learn her silent lingo
0:10:35 > 0:10:37and bank their first prize of the day?
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Ready to go to Noisy Land!
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Come in, come in! Come in, take a seat.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Take a... Don't slam that. Right.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Lovely. Welcome, young roamers.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57I'm Miss Adventure, geography teacher.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59How are you all?
0:10:59 > 0:11:01- SARCASTICALLY:- Good. OK.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04You sound suspicious, George.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07Do you think you can stay silent in my Silence Test?
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Yeah, it'll be pretty easy.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Oh, it's going to be pretty easy cos you're going to defeat me!
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Exclamation mark.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15I saw that. That's what you said.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18You're going to defeat me. Exclamation mark.
0:11:18 > 0:11:19Exclamation mark.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Exclamation mark.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- Exclamation mark.- Exclamation mark. - Exclamation mark.- Exclamation mark.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27- Exclamation mark.- Exclamation mark.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30It's time for my Silence Test.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Every explorer needs to be lucky,
0:11:32 > 0:11:36but also needs to be silent.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39And my Silence Test is going to see whether or not you are silent...
0:11:39 > 0:11:41and lucky.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Now, you're going to pull out one of these pegs,
0:11:44 > 0:11:46and if there's red on the bottom,
0:11:46 > 0:11:49you get a custard pie... in the face!
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Now, remember. You must do this in complete silence.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55That's the Silence Test.
0:11:55 > 0:11:56Positions, please.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00OK, pastry fans. It's pie time.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03Four custard pies, but who's going to get the first one?
0:12:03 > 0:12:07Your Silence Test starts...
0:12:07 > 0:12:08now.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11And it's Rachel to pull first.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15Straight up, Rachel manages a lucky and silent start.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Sameer's first peg.
0:12:19 > 0:12:20Oh!
0:12:20 > 0:12:22THEY LAUGH
0:12:22 > 0:12:26Oh dear! Sameer's pie face drawing out the noise.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Will it register, though?
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Rachel's second peg.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33Will her luck last?
0:12:33 > 0:12:34Oh, and it does!
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Sir George in the hot seat now.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Oh, he's lucky...for now.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48The heat is back on Rachel.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52And bosh!
0:12:52 > 0:12:54Stifled sniggers from the crowd.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Once again for you pie fans,
0:12:56 > 0:12:58peg out, pie flies,
0:12:58 > 0:12:59pie-fection.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Oh, and look at Brown Owl! She's loving it, too.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06George's second peg.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Silent pie-dodging delight there.
0:13:10 > 0:13:11Anna's first peg.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15Oh, great technique.
0:13:15 > 0:13:16It's George again.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Remember, this is his third peg.
0:13:22 > 0:13:23THEY LAUGH
0:13:23 > 0:13:26George's pathetic pie defence technique causing giggles,
0:13:26 > 0:13:29but will it see them fail the test?
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Can Anna make it two pegs in a row?
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Oh! No!
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Let's see that again, and keep an eye on Brown Owl.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42She knows how to hold in the giggles.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Great stuff, Brown Owl.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47A true silent professional. Bam!
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Splat!
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Keeping it in.
0:13:51 > 0:13:52Only just.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Your Silence Test is over.
0:13:55 > 0:13:56CHILDREN CHEER
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Oh, have the team banked their first pies...
0:13:58 > 0:14:00I mean prize? Oh, you know what I mean.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02So, your Silence Test is over.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04It was certainly very good fun to watch,
0:14:04 > 0:14:07and yes, George. You've come out with quite interesting hair there.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Very, very cool. Very, very "kids on the street".
0:14:10 > 0:14:12But, I heard some noise.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15But it's not up to me, it's not up to you, it's up to Miss Gobstop.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18So, let's find out what SHE thinks.
0:14:18 > 0:14:19'Attention, attention!'
0:14:19 > 0:14:23This is Miss Gobstop.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25'Were your giggles too loud?
0:14:26 > 0:14:30'Did you learn to keep your pie face shut?
0:14:31 > 0:14:34'I didn't hear YOU, Rachel.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37'A pie-normous improvement.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40'But were you quiet enough to pie...
0:14:40 > 0:14:42'I mean, pass, the test?
0:14:45 > 0:14:46'Class...'
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Have they done it?
0:14:51 > 0:14:52'..Passed!'
0:14:52 > 0:14:53CHILDREN CHEER
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Oh, I don't believe it!
0:14:55 > 0:14:57I don't believe it!
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Congratulations.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00But I've had enough of you.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03Get out of my class! Go on, get out!
0:15:07 > 0:15:09- We're going to pass it! - Yeah, definite.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12It's going to be really good cos it's going to be much easier.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14The next class is going to be even better
0:15:14 > 0:15:17because what can you do in drama that's hard? That's just easy.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21Yeah. We're going to keep our mouths zipped.
0:15:21 > 0:15:22Just like we did this time,
0:15:22 > 0:15:26we're going to do so well and pass.
0:15:26 > 0:15:30CHILDREN: Exclamation mark! Yeah!
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Err... Question mark! Meanwhile, in the school's hamster cage...
0:15:35 > 0:15:37And would you Adam and Eve it?
0:15:37 > 0:15:40I'd created the universe!
0:15:40 > 0:15:42- Bang!- Big bang, in fact.
0:15:42 > 0:15:43HE LAUGHS
0:15:43 > 0:15:48Do you know what the scientific name is for a hamster
0:15:48 > 0:15:49that doesn't make any noise?
0:15:52 > 0:15:53Annoying!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55HE LAUGHS
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Ha ha. Yes, you can be hammy.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00It's time the class three with Mr Les Prance.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Who needs a script when you're a master of mime?
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Lights, camera, silence!
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Come in, come in! Sit down, sit down! Come in!
0:16:10 > 0:16:12- Are you ready for some dramatic noise?- Yes.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15- Exclamation mark!- Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me!
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Yes. Sit down, sit down! Right.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29I am Mr Les Prance,
0:16:29 > 0:16:32the teacher of the Performing Arts.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35And here, within the Theatre of Silence,
0:16:35 > 0:16:40I will be testing you to prove that you cannot remain quiet.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43It is now time for your Silent Test.
0:16:46 > 0:16:47As a performer,
0:16:47 > 0:16:53it's important that not only do you have peak physical perfection,
0:16:53 > 0:16:57as do I, but also, you move with perfect co-ordination.
0:16:57 > 0:17:03In pairs, joined at the ankle, you must repeat every move I do.
0:17:03 > 0:17:09Also, remain completely and utterly silent.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Your Silence Test has begun.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Action!
0:17:14 > 0:17:18Mr Prance will put the pupils through a three-stage
0:17:18 > 0:17:20exercise routine.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23He certainly looks the part, though what part, I don't know.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Stage one, warm-ups.
0:17:27 > 0:17:28THEY LAUGH
0:17:31 > 0:17:33These warm-ups have a soundtrack of giggles,
0:17:33 > 0:17:36and Miss Gobstop isn't a fan.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Prance is winding up the pressure with stage two,
0:17:39 > 0:17:41the hoop.
0:17:47 > 0:17:48THEY LAUGH
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Co-ordinated sniggers from the boys,
0:17:50 > 0:17:52but this is a definite improvement.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55The final stage,
0:17:55 > 0:17:56the exercise balls.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58THEY LAUGH
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Yeah, the old bouncing globes have got them giggling.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Just 15 seconds left.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Can they contain their chuckles and grab that second prize?
0:18:11 > 0:18:13GEORGE LAUGHS
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Oh my! George is giggling.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19It's a definite cause for concern for someone.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22And your Silence Test is complete.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24CHILDREN CHEER
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Well.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29What can I say?
0:18:29 > 0:18:32I heard giggling,
0:18:32 > 0:18:34I heard cackling.
0:18:34 > 0:18:38However, it's not for me to decide how you fared.
0:18:38 > 0:18:42Miss Gobstop has been listening to you throughout the entire exercise,
0:18:42 > 0:18:45and SHE will now let you know
0:18:45 > 0:18:47whether you've passed or failed.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50'Attention, attention!'
0:18:50 > 0:18:52This is Miss Gobstop.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55'George, giggle leader of the gigglers.'
0:18:57 > 0:18:59GEORGE LAUGHS
0:18:59 > 0:19:02'Closely followed by your noisy partner,
0:19:02 > 0:19:05'Sameer the smirker.'
0:19:07 > 0:19:09SAMEER LAUGHS
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Class...
0:19:11 > 0:19:15Ooh, did the pupils exercise enough restraint to bag a second prize?
0:19:15 > 0:19:17'Failed!' Yes! Ha ha ha!
0:19:17 > 0:19:19CHILDREN: Nooo!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Yes!
0:19:21 > 0:19:22Yes, you heard it right.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24You failed my class!
0:19:24 > 0:19:26MR PRANCE LAUGHS
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Will the new pupils please report to my office
0:19:29 > 0:19:30'immediately?'
0:19:30 > 0:19:33Hmm. Music to my ears. Bye-byes!
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Go down to Miss Gobstop's office, and, err...
0:19:35 > 0:19:37we'll see you again. Au revoir!
0:19:37 > 0:19:39So, with all their classes now complete,
0:19:39 > 0:19:43the pupils are off to see Miss Gobstop to get their report
0:19:43 > 0:19:45before the final exam.
0:19:45 > 0:19:46Come in.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52In you come. Shut the door, please.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Hmm.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Now, you're sent here because you're all far too noisy.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00And I've put you through silent tests
0:20:00 > 0:20:03to see if you could stay quiet.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Shall we take a look at your report and see how you've done?
0:20:06 > 0:20:08So... Sameer.
0:20:08 > 0:20:09Mm-hmm?
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Quite the little cheerleader at the start, weren't you?
0:20:12 > 0:20:16But silent support is the way forward, yes?
0:20:16 > 0:20:18- Yes.- Very good.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Come on, come on!
0:20:20 > 0:20:21Come on!
0:20:23 > 0:20:24Rachel.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27"I'm naturally noisy."
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- Is that what you said?- Yes.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Hmm. There's nothing "natural" about your noise.
0:20:33 > 0:20:34RACHEL LAUGHS
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Ewww!
0:20:36 > 0:20:38George. You're a small boy.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41You had an AWFUL lot to say this morning, didn't you?
0:20:41 > 0:20:43GEORGE SQUEALS
0:20:43 > 0:20:45GEORGE LAUGHS
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Anna.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48Brave and silent.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51I'm very impressed.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56So, let's see if your teamwork
0:20:56 > 0:20:59will be rewarded with graduation.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03You've banked one prize from the Confiscation Cupboard.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06But before you can get your little hands on them,
0:21:06 > 0:21:09you're going to have to pass the Final Exam
0:21:09 > 0:21:11in the Professor's Science Lab.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15IF you graduate,
0:21:15 > 0:21:17not only will you receive your prizes,
0:21:17 > 0:21:20but you will also get the ultimate reward, Sameer.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23The Golden Gobstop.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Off to the Science Lab. Keep it quiet.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Orange legwarmers!
0:21:30 > 0:21:32I do LOVE an orange legwarmer!
0:21:33 > 0:21:36It's time for the Final Exam with the Professor.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38His devious devices are painstakingly designed
0:21:38 > 0:21:42to extract noise and prevent prizes.
0:21:42 > 0:21:46GERMAN ACCENT: Ah! Guten Tag, meine noise munchkins!
0:21:46 > 0:21:48And welcome to the Laboratory. I am the Professor.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51- The messy laboratory. - You may have heard of me,
0:21:51 > 0:21:54and today, with the help of my assistant, Herr Helmut...
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Helmut! Where are your clothes? And why is your face different?
0:21:57 > 0:21:59Bo! Ha!
0:21:59 > 0:22:00Who's this? You again!
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Enough of this!
0:22:02 > 0:22:05What will be happening today is we will be testing you
0:22:05 > 0:22:08to see if you have managed to learn the silence, ja?
0:22:08 > 0:22:12- What will happen in your Final Examination...- Puppets aren't bald!
0:22:12 > 0:22:14..is if you make three of the noises,
0:22:14 > 0:22:17you will set off the Gobstopper 3000, and you will be expelled!
0:22:17 > 0:22:18Ha! Eat failure cake!
0:22:18 > 0:22:22But if you manage to make with the quiet - highly unlikely,
0:22:22 > 0:22:24- especially you...- Oh yeah?
0:22:24 > 0:22:27..what will happen is you will graduate,
0:22:27 > 0:22:30and you will win all Fraulein Gobstopper's amazing prizes
0:22:30 > 0:22:31and the elusive Gobstopper.
0:22:31 > 0:22:32But that will NOT happen!
0:22:32 > 0:22:34We will commence, ja?
0:22:34 > 0:22:36In drei...
0:22:36 > 0:22:37zwei...
0:22:37 > 0:22:38eins!
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Right. Who will be first?
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Ah, yes!
0:22:45 > 0:22:47You, I think, Anna.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Look at you, you little chuckle chicken!
0:22:49 > 0:22:51What do we have for...
0:22:51 > 0:22:52Ah yes!
0:22:52 > 0:22:55This is a mind-reading helmet.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58When you put it on, we will be able to read all your thoughts.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04I can read your thoughts!
0:23:04 > 0:23:06You're worrying about your hair. Ah, yes!
0:23:06 > 0:23:09You want to marry one of the boys.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15Ah! For you, this is perhaps my greatest invention.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18It is the Invisibility Cloak.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20You cannot see me.
0:23:20 > 0:23:21You've no idea where I am.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23You're right there.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25- He's guessing, you're guessing! - You're there!
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Oh, George and Rachel walked right into that one.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29And now you're there.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Did that chitchat mark their first strike?
0:23:32 > 0:23:33Rachel is next in line.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35There must be a ghost.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38"Listen to me, I'm Rachel. I'm so scared.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40"What am I going to do? I'm so terrified!"
0:23:45 > 0:23:46In the chops AND on the head,
0:23:46 > 0:23:49but has the gobstop gone into the red?
0:23:49 > 0:23:52Who is next? I think it will be you.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54It's smiling Sameer's turn.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56This is perhaps my greatest invention.
0:23:56 > 0:24:00It is the Celebrity Instant Facelift cream.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03What will happen is we have taken some of the skinflakes
0:24:03 > 0:24:08of the most beautiful people in the world, like Beyonce and Susan Boyle,
0:24:08 > 0:24:10and we have put in extra ingredients
0:24:10 > 0:24:12like snails' snot and all manner of things,
0:24:12 > 0:24:15butterfly fingers and pigeon juice.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17It will make you beautiful.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Think!
0:24:22 > 0:24:25It's not working. We need more. I know!
0:24:26 > 0:24:30Sameer refusing to crack.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32It's not working. He's still ugly! You broke it!
0:24:32 > 0:24:33SAMEER LAUGHS
0:24:33 > 0:24:34Oh no! He's gone.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Now the final one. For you...
0:24:37 > 0:24:39George last in line. Can HE keep it quiet?
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Helmut, look over him.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43See what we...
0:24:43 > 0:24:46'Professor! But... This one.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49'He smells really bad!' What do you mean, he smells bad?
0:24:49 > 0:24:52'He smells like animal pants.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55'I think I'm going to be sick!' You can't be sick in the laboratory.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57You can't be sick in the laboratory!
0:24:59 > 0:25:00Be sick down here.
0:25:04 > 0:25:09George trying his best to hold it in, unlike Helmut there. Yuck!
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Don't worry. I have a special machine just to clean you up...
0:25:12 > 0:25:13or do I?
0:25:16 > 0:25:18RACHEL LAUGHS
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Oh dear! Chuckling from Rachel.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22They won't graduate if they keep this up.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Quick! Do another one.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27RACHEL LAUGHS
0:25:27 > 0:25:29The Professor has done the calculations.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31More gunge equals more noise.
0:25:31 > 0:25:32GEORGE LAUGHS
0:25:32 > 0:25:34George's loud laugh MUST be a strike.
0:25:37 > 0:25:4020 seconds to go.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Oh, it's like Niagara Falls in there!
0:25:41 > 0:25:44I haven't seen gunge like this since...
0:25:44 > 0:25:47since the Great Gunge Catastrophe of 2004.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Who could forget THAT?
0:25:49 > 0:25:51Any more noise, and they might get expelled.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54Three strikes and they're out, remember.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Your Final Test is over.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00CHILDREN CHEER
0:26:03 > 0:26:07Right. How do you think you did, eh, you little laughter lobsters?
0:26:07 > 0:26:09I say tell you how you did. 'Rubbish!'
0:26:09 > 0:26:11If it was up to me, you would fail.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13But it's your Final Examination marks
0:26:13 > 0:26:16are decided by the beautiful Fraulein Gobstopper.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18So, let us see how you did.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Fraulein Gobstopper!
0:26:23 > 0:26:26How did meine guinea pigs do?
0:26:26 > 0:26:30I was listening via my Gobstop 3000...
0:26:33 > 0:26:35and I heard...chatting.
0:26:37 > 0:26:38And I heard...
0:26:38 > 0:26:40giggles.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43But was it enough to set it off
0:26:43 > 0:26:45more than three times?
0:26:45 > 0:26:48The Gobstop 3000 has spoken.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51You...
0:26:56 > 0:26:57..will be expelled.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59CHILDREN BOO
0:26:59 > 0:27:01A tragic result.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05Let's see how the team from Hackney threw it all away.
0:27:05 > 0:27:06George and Rachel fell into a trap
0:27:06 > 0:27:08and earned two strikes straight away.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11- You're right there. - You're there!- You're guessing!
0:27:11 > 0:27:15And George's gungy giggling pushed them over the edge.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18They triggered the Gobstop 3000 more than three times,
0:27:18 > 0:27:20so the pupils head back to Hackney with nothing.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Exclamation mark!
0:27:23 > 0:27:24So, you don't win the Gobstop.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28And you go home with no prizes whatsoever.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31So, get out of my school! Do it now,
0:27:31 > 0:27:33and do it silently! Go!
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd