0:00:04 > 0:00:06# Time is running out
0:00:06 > 0:00:08# Stories to be found
0:00:08 > 0:00:11# What's it all about?
0:00:11 > 0:00:13# Got to go and trek around
0:00:13 > 0:00:17# If there's a rumour going round
0:00:17 > 0:00:18# Don't you forget it
0:00:18 > 0:00:22# Wherever something's going down
0:00:22 > 0:00:24# Got to get that scoop
0:00:24 > 0:00:26# Got to get that scoop!
0:00:26 > 0:00:29# Got to get that scoop
0:00:29 > 0:00:31# Got to get that... #
0:00:34 > 0:00:36HE SNORES
0:00:46 > 0:00:47ALARM BEEPS
0:00:52 > 0:00:54BEEPING
0:01:18 > 0:01:19HE GASPS
0:01:23 > 0:01:26PAPER BOY!
0:01:48 > 0:01:49Ooh, ooh, ah!
0:02:31 > 0:02:34I don't believe it! He's done it again, Hacker.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37I spend hours toiling away writing stories for the Pilbury Post
0:02:37 > 0:02:39and it ends up like a wet dishcloth.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42It's almost as if fate's trying to tell me something.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45- Woof!- Sorry, Hacker.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47There's your dog biscuits, there you go.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51You know, this is the moment I love, Hacker.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55Seeing the fruits of my work on the pages of Pilbury's favourite paper.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Where are you? Come on.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59Ah! There we are.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03"All tyred out.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06"Broken-down reporter Digby Digworth
0:03:06 > 0:03:08"crashed out of the Pilbury stock-car race yesterday
0:03:08 > 0:03:11"after only eight seconds..." ten, surely!
0:03:11 > 0:03:12"The crowd was in fits
0:03:12 > 0:03:15"as they watched the hapless Digworth spin off the track
0:03:15 > 0:03:17"screaming, 'Mummy!' "
0:03:17 > 0:03:23Still, it's a journalist's job to... entertain his audience
0:03:23 > 0:03:26and I think I can safely say I did that.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- These cornflakes are a bit stale. - Yuck!
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Listen, Hacker.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39Any minute that phone is going to go and it'll be Pilbury Post HQ.
0:03:39 > 0:03:44So we have to be alert, ready to spring into action at any time.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49I tell you what, I'll phone him to check he's going to phone me.
0:03:55 > 0:03:56PHONE RINGS
0:03:56 > 0:04:00- Max de Lacey.- Morning, sir. - Know what you are, Digworth?
0:04:00 > 0:04:02What does it begin with, sir?
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Ooh! Well, it begins with an X.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10X? Am I a xylophone, sir?
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Ha-ha! No. You're an EX-reporter, Digworth. That's what you are.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Oh, come on, sir, don't be like that.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19We all have an off day.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21You, Digworth, have an off LIFE!
0:04:21 > 0:04:25To make it big in this world you need to be...well, you need to be me.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27Please, sir, just one more chance!
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Oh, hold on.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Go on, Simon.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37HE SLURPS
0:04:37 > 0:04:38Mmm!
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Mmm!
0:04:50 > 0:04:55Listen, there's an organic vegetable display over at Pilbury monastery.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59- You can cover that. - Organic vegetables? I like it!
0:04:59 > 0:05:02There could be front-page material there, sir!
0:05:02 > 0:05:03Huh! Hardly, Digworth.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Oh, little bit of advice.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09- Why don't you check out the prize cucumber contest.- Cucumbers?
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Is there a big story involved?
0:05:11 > 0:05:14No, you stand a good chance of winning! Ha-ha-ha!
0:05:17 > 0:05:18Woof!
0:05:18 > 0:05:22Organic vegetables. I like it!
0:05:22 > 0:05:26You know, we don't need new technology to make us happy.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30All we need's a trowel, a spade, and a packet of radish seeds.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Huh?
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Wow! Is that the new Suki 9000?!
0:05:34 > 0:05:36- Wh...? Grrrr!- Give it!
0:05:36 > 0:05:39OK. Steady, Digby.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Concentrate on the mission. Let's go and sniff out a story.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44I smell a scoop!
0:06:06 > 0:06:09OK, Hacker. Set course for the organic vegetable show.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13And get a BLOOMING move on.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Blooming! Get it?
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Vegetables and fruit!
0:06:17 > 0:06:19- No, it doesn't work, does it?- No!
0:06:19 > 0:06:21You never know, we might find a potato
0:06:21 > 0:06:24- in the shape of Wayne Rooney's head.- Woof, woof!
0:06:24 > 0:06:28What do you mean that shouldn't be too difficult? Now, now, come on.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30WOLF-WHISTLE RING-TONE
0:06:30 > 0:06:34I wouldn't use that ring-tone if I were you, Hacker.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Oooh! Rrrrarr!
0:06:36 > 0:06:38On second thoughts, could you make mine do that?
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Well here we are, Hacker. St Edna's monastery,
0:06:55 > 0:06:58home of the world-renowned St Edna's honey.
0:06:58 > 0:06:59But never mind all that.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03I want a vegetable that looks like a celebrity within ten minutes.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06I won't settle for less than a turnip in the shape of Cheryl Cole,
0:07:06 > 0:07:09and if we can find a carrot that's a dead ringer for Simon Cowell
0:07:09 > 0:07:11we could sell it to a national paper!
0:07:11 > 0:07:13What are you doing?
0:07:13 > 0:07:15You've lost your new mobile?!
0:07:21 > 0:07:22SPLAT!
0:07:25 > 0:07:26Sorry!
0:07:31 > 0:07:35Stop messing about, Hacker! We need to get this shot.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Oh, no, it's a secret.
0:07:37 > 0:07:42The secret of St Edna's. It's hidden deep in the cellars of the monastery.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44It's pure gold.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47It's been a secret for many centuries.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51If someone got their hands on it, it would be worth a fortune.
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Did you hear that, Hacker?
0:07:52 > 0:07:55There must be gold hidden in the cellars of the monastery!
0:07:55 > 0:07:58That's our story. Don't you understand?
0:07:58 > 0:08:00What do you need to find treasure?
0:08:00 > 0:08:01Of course, a map!
0:08:01 > 0:08:06Ah, now, a map of the basement.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Now, it's definitely under the east wing.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13I've worked it out. The way down is in the dining hall.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17Six paces from the door, right at the statue of St Edna,
0:08:17 > 0:08:21then it's one pace west and two paces south.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23We have to get it.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27There IS a map!
0:08:27 > 0:08:30I'm sure they'd thank us if we found it and besides,
0:08:30 > 0:08:32think of the front page!
0:08:32 > 0:08:36I'm sure it's just a pipe blockage. Brother Watson used to be a plumber.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40So long as he can locate it using this diagram,
0:08:40 > 0:08:43our drainage problems should be over very soon.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51Right, Hacker, they've gone. This is our chance. Treasure, here we come!
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Go and get the map!
0:08:52 > 0:08:53HACKER GROANS
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Oooh!
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Don't you dare!
0:08:59 > 0:09:00Bah!
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Dodger Dave spotted entering St Edna's monastery.
0:10:24 > 0:10:25Giving chase, over.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Dodger Dave captured! Repeat, Dodger Dave captured!
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Amendment, Dodger Dave not captured.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53Repeat, Dodger Dave not captured. Monk captured.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Apologies about to be given.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56Over and out.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Sorry!
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Mate, sorry.
0:11:04 > 0:11:08Now, Hacker. We've got to get inside without arousing suspicion.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11According to the map, the way into the cellars is via the dining room.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15HE KNOCKS ON DOOR
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Wh...? Aaah! Ahem...
0:11:21 > 0:11:25- Greetings, Brother! I have travelled from afar.- Ssssh!
0:11:27 > 0:11:30HE MIMES
0:11:36 > 0:11:40Look, forget about the silence. Who are you?
0:11:40 > 0:11:43- A visiting monk in dire need of some grub.- Dining room first on the left.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08HE SIGHS
0:12:09 > 0:12:10Oooh!
0:12:25 > 0:12:27(Oi!)
0:12:40 > 0:12:45Now, the monk said the entrance was near the statue of St Edna.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49Right. Six paces forward.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Sssh!
0:12:52 > 0:12:55SQUEAKING
0:13:01 > 0:13:03SQUEAKING
0:13:19 > 0:13:22SQUEAKING
0:13:26 > 0:13:30MICHAEL-JACKSON STYLE MUSIC PLAYS
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Psst!
0:13:58 > 0:14:03Somewhere around here, Hacker, is the statue of St Edna.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Oh! Hey!
0:14:29 > 0:14:31HE SLURPS
0:14:31 > 0:14:33HACKER SNIGGERS
0:14:46 > 0:14:48WOLF-WHISTLE RING-TONE
0:14:54 > 0:14:56You fool! What do you think you're doing?
0:14:56 > 0:14:57'Digworth?'
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Sorry, sir! Not you.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01'What are you up to?'
0:15:01 > 0:15:05- Any exciting stories amongst the honey and scones?- 'It's marvellous!'
0:15:05 > 0:15:08There's some wonderful stuff here!
0:15:08 > 0:15:10- Where are you now?- 'Now?'
0:15:10 > 0:15:13I'm at the vegetable stall
0:15:13 > 0:15:15seeing if there's any photo opportunities.
0:15:15 > 0:15:20Yes, look, right now I'm looking at the biggest turnip
0:15:20 > 0:15:22I've ever seen in my life.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26What does it look like?
0:15:26 > 0:15:31Well, um, a bit misshapen with a big lump in the middle.
0:15:31 > 0:15:35- Well, I better go, sir, cos the turnip's just walked off.- Digworth!
0:15:35 > 0:15:38Oh, a walking turnip!
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Now that IS a front page.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43You missed a bit.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34MUFFLED GROAN
0:17:05 > 0:17:06(Help me!)
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Uh?
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Whoa! Argh!
0:17:23 > 0:17:24Buh-wuh-wuh!
0:17:29 > 0:17:30Success, Hacker!
0:17:30 > 0:17:33All we need to do is follow the diagrams on the map
0:17:33 > 0:17:35and untold wealth will be ours!
0:17:53 > 0:17:56So you haven't seen anyone acting suspicious recently?
0:17:56 > 0:17:59No, Constable. Brother Peebles did tell me he saw someone
0:17:59 > 0:18:03going down into the cellars, but that must have been Brother Watson.
0:18:03 > 0:18:09We've had some plumbing problems and Brother has a diploma in drainage...
0:18:09 > 0:18:11He's forgotten his wrench!
0:18:11 > 0:18:13He'll need that to reopen the stopcock!
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Excuse me, Constable.
0:18:16 > 0:18:21Stopcock. Nah!
0:18:23 > 0:18:26We've been walking for 20 minutes. We must be getting close.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Wait a minute, I know this place!
0:18:30 > 0:18:32This is where we came in!
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Call yourself a tracker dog, Hacker?
0:18:35 > 0:18:36TRAPDOOR CREAKS
0:18:38 > 0:18:40HACKER SQUEALS
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Ah! Call themselves holy men?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Look what they're planning to do to us!
0:19:03 > 0:19:05They want to wrench our ears off!
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Come on, Hacker. Let's skedaddle.
0:19:13 > 0:19:14That front page must be ours!
0:19:20 > 0:19:24Oh, look, this is it, Hacker!
0:19:24 > 0:19:28According to the map, this hatchway leads to the inner sanctum
0:19:28 > 0:19:30where the treasure is located!
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Untold wealth, here we come!
0:19:42 > 0:19:43Oh.
0:19:43 > 0:19:47Hang on... What's he doing?
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Hmm?
0:19:52 > 0:19:56It's all right, Hacker. I know what's going on here.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59- WHISPERS:- Careful, now, we mustn't give ourselves away.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03They're obviously in the middle of spring-cleaning
0:20:03 > 0:20:05and we mustn't disturb them.
0:20:05 > 0:20:06HACKER SIGHS
0:20:10 > 0:20:14Oh! Sorry! Excuse me, sir, have you seen anyone acting strangely?
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Strangely? Let me think...
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Yes!
0:20:19 > 0:20:23I saw an episode of EastEnders last night. There was this bloke...
0:20:23 > 0:20:27OK. Thank you, sir. Keep your eyes peeled, yeah?
0:20:29 > 0:20:34What a strange woman! We must find this treasure, Hacker.
0:20:34 > 0:20:39All is not lost! Remember, Hacker, every top reporter needs a source.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43No, Hacker, a source of information.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Sid The Source.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Psst! Sid?
0:21:00 > 0:21:02It's me.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Just thought I'd give you a buzz!
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Buzz? Get it?
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- Just get on with it, will you?- Sorry.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12Bit of a map situation here, Sid. Touch of the Dal Vincey Code.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15So, your code-breaking skills gratefully received.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah!
0:21:22 > 0:21:23Ahem.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26- Doggy bank, Hacker. - Uh?- Come on!- Grrr!
0:21:31 > 0:21:35Well, it looks a bit to me like...
0:21:35 > 0:21:36Like a what?
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- It looks a bit to me like an old sort of plan for...- Yes?
0:21:46 > 0:21:50- Be here all day at this rate! - An old sort of plan for...
0:21:50 > 0:21:53BEES BUZZ
0:21:57 > 0:21:58..brass and copper!
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Leading in a spiral formation to...
0:22:05 > 0:22:06..northwards!
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Yeah, I didn't get a word of that.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10So I reckon you'll need this.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12What is it?
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Just turn it three times clockwise, should do the trick.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18Yeah, but I don't know what it... Sid, I...?
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Sid?!
0:22:20 > 0:22:25Know what? This looks to me like a key to unlock the ancient treasure.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Yeah, no time to waste, Hacker!
0:22:28 > 0:22:29That front page must be ours!
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Come on!
0:22:31 > 0:22:33HACKER SQUEALS
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Are you sure you don't need this, Brother Watson?
0:22:52 > 0:22:54The pipes are very rusted over!
0:23:10 > 0:23:11This is no time for games, Hacker!
0:23:11 > 0:23:13CLATTER!
0:23:15 > 0:23:18He's trying to muscle in on our story!
0:23:18 > 0:23:19Come on!
0:23:25 > 0:23:29This is it, Hacker! This is what Sid was telling us about!
0:23:29 > 0:23:34We have to put this key on here and turn it three times,
0:23:34 > 0:23:36thus revealing the treasure chamber.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39Now, what was it, three turns clockwise?
0:23:42 > 0:23:43METALLIC GRINDING
0:23:45 > 0:23:47RUMBLING
0:23:47 > 0:23:50You hear that, Hacker? It's just like Indiana Jones!
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Are you quite sure you haven't seen anything suspicious, sir?
0:23:57 > 0:24:01- Well, officer, there is one thing. - OK, now we're getting somewhere.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04- What have you seen? - A stick of celery here,
0:24:04 > 0:24:07that's the spitting image of Kate Moss.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10I'm beginning to lose the will to live.
0:24:11 > 0:24:16There we are. Any second now we'll get the surprise of our lives.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21PIPES CLUNK
0:24:22 > 0:24:24BANG ECHOES
0:24:28 > 0:24:30LOUD BOOM
0:24:34 > 0:24:37AIR HISSES
0:24:41 > 0:24:43A-a-a-argh!
0:24:43 > 0:24:45Brothers, help me!
0:24:59 > 0:25:04The treasure! Come on, Hacker, let's get the front page set up.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Prepare your camera!
0:25:11 > 0:25:16Treasure, treasure! Oh, thank you, Brother.
0:25:16 > 0:25:20Now, you set it out in a nice display and we'll get our cameras.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22This is going to make the front page!
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Gentlemen, gentlemen!
0:25:26 > 0:25:31I, Digby D Digworth, have unearthed the ancient treasure of St Edna.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Quite a scoop, I'm sure you'll agree!
0:25:33 > 0:25:36- Now, where would you like the shots taken?- What are you babbling about?
0:25:36 > 0:25:40- Aren't you Brother Watson, the plumber?- No, I'm Brother Digworth,
0:25:40 > 0:25:41the treasure hunter!
0:25:41 > 0:25:44It was all on the map. Just needed a brain to decipher it.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Map? You blithering idiot!
0:25:46 > 0:25:50That's a plan of the monastery drainage system!
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Drainage system? No!
0:25:52 > 0:25:57Then what was that I overheard about pure gold found in the basement?
0:25:57 > 0:26:00I was talking about the recipe for the monastery honey, you fool!
0:26:00 > 0:26:02We keep it in the basement library!
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Then how come I ended up with a big treasure trove?
0:26:05 > 0:26:08- Oh yes? Well, where is it then? - I gave it to the monk over there.
0:26:12 > 0:26:13HE TOOTS HORN
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Doesn't seem to be the actions of a holy man!
0:26:18 > 0:26:22That's because that holy man is Dodger Dave, cat burglar!
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Ah, hot off the press, Simon!
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Another award-winning front page, no doubt.
0:26:40 > 0:26:45DIGBY DIGWO-O-O-O-ORTH!
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd