0:00:04 > 0:00:07# Time is running out
0:00:07 > 0:00:09# Stories to be found
0:00:09 > 0:00:11# What's it all about?
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Got to go and check around
0:00:14 > 0:00:17# If there's a rumour going round
0:00:17 > 0:00:19# Don't you forget it
0:00:19 > 0:00:22# Wherever something's going down
0:00:22 > 0:00:27# Got to get that scoop, got to get that scoop
0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Got to get that scoop
0:00:29 > 0:00:33# Got to get that S-C-O-O-P. #
0:00:34 > 0:00:36HE SNORES
0:00:46 > 0:00:47ALARM BEEPS
0:00:51 > 0:00:52ALARM BEEPS
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Mmm, where's my hundreds and thousands?
0:01:26 > 0:01:27Paper boy!
0:01:35 > 0:01:37GROWL!
0:01:49 > 0:01:52THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
0:01:52 > 0:01:53HE SIGHS
0:01:55 > 0:01:57HE SIGHS
0:02:25 > 0:02:27'Try new Kattikins cat food,
0:02:27 > 0:02:30'not just for kittens but older cats, too...'
0:02:30 > 0:02:32HACKER GROWLS
0:02:33 > 0:02:36I got my front page story, Hacker.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Well, sort of.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42"Castle chaos, reporter Digby Digworth is at the centre
0:02:42 > 0:02:47"of a sandstorm after plunging into a sand castle competition."
0:02:47 > 0:02:50I wonder if they've printed my apology?
0:02:51 > 0:02:53HACKER BARKS
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Hacker, what are you doing?
0:02:58 > 0:03:02Oh, I see. Still got an issue with cats, have you?
0:03:02 > 0:03:07We need to deal with this once and for all, right, because you
0:03:07 > 0:03:11are my assistant and you have to be professional just like me.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15"Be Kind To Kitty."
0:03:15 > 0:03:20That's what is it is. It's a self-help manual for dogs in denial.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23"Get your dog used to being around cats.
0:03:23 > 0:03:28"Start with a picture or maybe..." just maybe "..a soft toy."
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Meet Fluffy.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Miaow.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37You like me, don't you, Hacker?
0:03:39 > 0:03:41ARGH!
0:03:42 > 0:03:45All right then, plan B.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Hello, Hacker, I am Cuddles the kitten.
0:03:51 > 0:03:55Would you like to play with me?
0:03:55 > 0:03:58HACKER GROWLS
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Yes, yes, sympathy. Good point.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06The trouble with you, Hacker,
0:04:06 > 0:04:09is you don't know what it's like to be a cat,
0:04:09 > 0:04:13which is why I got this state-of-the-art cat suit.
0:04:13 > 0:04:18You don't have to wear it all the time, just an hour a day.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24HACKER GROWLS
0:04:24 > 0:04:26- Five minutes? - HACKER GROWLS
0:04:26 > 0:04:30- HACKER SNARLS - Two minutes? Ten seconds!
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Argh!
0:04:32 > 0:04:36- Stop! - HACKER SNARLS
0:04:43 > 0:04:47I think we made some good progress there.
0:04:47 > 0:04:52I wonder what earth-shattering story Max has lined up for me, eh, Hacker?
0:04:52 > 0:04:56It's bound to be something exciting for a reporter
0:04:56 > 0:05:00of my calibre, don't you think? He's going to phone any moment now.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03No, he will. I know he will.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09I tell you what, I'll phone him just to check he is going to phone me.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- PHONE RINGS - What is it?- Hello, Max, it's Digby.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21- Do you mind going on hold? - I've got a couple of minutes.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25- I was thinking more in terms of years.- Oh.- We're very busy,
0:05:25 > 0:05:28putting the finishing touches to our new headquarters.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32- Any news on the helipad? - That sounds exciting!
0:05:32 > 0:05:37It's state-of-the-art, fully digital newsrooms, revolving restaurant.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40- Where's it going to be? - It's in reception.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43So the whole wide world can see it.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46I didn't use instructions, I made it up out of my own head.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49But we've run out of yellow bricks - my favourites.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53I was just wondering if you had a story for me?
0:05:53 > 0:05:58Yes. Go to the photographic studio. Celebrity press conference at 10.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Celebrity! Who is it?
0:06:00 > 0:06:03I don't know, her off the telly,
0:06:03 > 0:06:06she's done a bit of modelling or something.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10- She's signed a big ad contract. - Thank you, Max, you're the best.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12This is a brilliant break for me.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16Yeah, yeah, I haven't got time for all of your fawning and flattery.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20- I'm sorry.- Write it down for me, I'll enjoy it later.
0:06:20 > 0:06:25Sir, bad news. They couldn't build the helipad, they've just got this.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28I can't put that on the roof. We'll be a laughing stock!
0:06:28 > 0:06:34This is it, Hacker, this is what my whole life's been leading up to.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37This is why I became a journalist.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Celebrity gossip...
0:06:40 > 0:06:43pop stars, film premieres...
0:06:43 > 0:06:48Our whole life is about to change forever!
0:06:48 > 0:06:52It is Tuesday, isn't it? Remind me to put the bins out tonight.
0:06:52 > 0:06:56Come on, Hacker, I smell a scoop!
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Right, Hacker, our celebrity scoop awaits.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23We mustn't forget about your cat therapy.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27Listen to this podcast, it will help soothe you.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29- MAN SINGS - ..Sorry!
0:07:32 > 0:07:34'Hello there, little doggie.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37'You think you hate cats. you don't.
0:07:37 > 0:07:41'You love cats. Cats are your friends, not your enemy.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45'Do not bark, do not growl.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47- 'Go over and stroke them...' - HACKER GROWLS
0:07:47 > 0:07:49'..That's it.'
0:07:49 > 0:07:51They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks
0:07:51 > 0:07:55but there's already a change in you, Hacker. Well done.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Set the satnav for the studio.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Cat-nav mode selected.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05Yes, in a couple of days you'll have forgotten about cats.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08'Black and white cat next left.'
0:08:09 > 0:08:13'Good shot. Furry cat approaching in ten metres...'
0:08:13 > 0:08:17That's funny, why's it taking us this way?
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Stop it! I'll buy you a pizza.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Ah, the press. It's the paparazzi.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38No, his is the pepperazzi, I'm the ham Hawaiian.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41I mean, you're here for the celebrity interview.
0:08:41 > 0:08:46- Yeah, can't wait to meet her. - You're not taking him in.- Why not?
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Mm... why not?
0:08:49 > 0:08:50Come on, Hacker.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01Remember, Hacker, we're here to interview a celebrity
0:09:01 > 0:09:03who we must treat with respect.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06I've always believed journalism is about honesty -
0:09:06 > 0:09:09that and massive front-page headlines.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Oh, that's...
0:09:11 > 0:09:12HACKER GROWLS
0:09:12 > 0:09:15That's the celebrity?!
0:09:15 > 0:09:18All right, remember everything I've taught you.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22No, about cats. Remember?
0:09:23 > 0:09:27'Cats are your friends, not your enemy.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30'Do not bark, go over and stroke them.'
0:09:30 > 0:09:32All right. Come on, you.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35HACKER GROWLS
0:09:35 > 0:09:37CAT MIAOWS
0:09:37 > 0:09:39HACKER BARKS
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Terribly sorry, he's a bit overexcited.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Gordon, I thought I told you to watch the door!
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Sorry, dear, he must have sneaked past me.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Well, if you're all ready,
0:09:51 > 0:09:56I'm delighted to announce that darling Tabitha has signed a deal
0:09:56 > 0:09:59with Kattikins cat food for a series of adverts.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02- Can I ask...?- Tabitha isn't answering questions at the moment.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05She's getting into her part.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09Suffice to say that my husband and I are absolutely delighted.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12- Aren't we, Gordon? - Delighted, we really are.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Gordon, is Tabitha's milk ready?
0:10:14 > 0:10:17- Yes, dear.- Can I take some photos?
0:10:17 > 0:10:21Of course, but no flash, Tabitha doesn't like it.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23A-atchoo!
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Sorry, I must be allergic to cats.
0:10:25 > 0:10:30- Gordon, you haven't tested the temperature!- Sorry, dear.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34- 22 degrees C, OK?- It'll do.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37Atchoo!
0:10:38 > 0:10:41I told you, no flash.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44- Oh, Tabby! What have you done? - It was him.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Me?! I was nowhere near her.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- I knew you were trouble. - It's a disgrace, my dear.- Shut up!
0:10:49 > 0:10:52We've got another photo shoot at 2.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55I'll see if she's gone home. You idiot!
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Oh, dear! Poor little Tabitha.
0:10:58 > 0:11:03Right, come on, Hacker, we are going to find that cat.
0:11:05 > 0:11:09Not if I get there first. I've had it up to here with that flea bag!
0:11:16 > 0:11:19I've been thinking, Hacker, to capture this cat
0:11:19 > 0:11:22we need to be logical and scientific.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Here you are. Eh. It's obvious.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31If she advertises the stuff, she's bound to like it.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33HACKER GROWLS
0:11:33 > 0:11:35What did I tell you? Let's go.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43There she is, Hacker.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46- HACKER GROWLS - Will you stop that? Remember...
0:11:46 > 0:11:49'Cats are your friends, not your enemy.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53'Do not bark, go over and stroke them.'
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Quietly.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06A-atchoo!
0:12:06 > 0:12:09Not my fault I've got a cat allergy!
0:12:12 > 0:12:15- One of us will have to go up. - HACKER HUMS A TUNE
0:12:15 > 0:12:19All right. But YOU can pull the rope.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29All right, Hacker!
0:12:42 > 0:12:46Come on, put your back into it.
0:12:50 > 0:12:51Pull!
0:12:57 > 0:13:01Keep pulling. Or I'll trade you in for a St Bernard.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Only joking!
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Heave!
0:13:12 > 0:13:15You can't just leave me dangling here.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Hacker, think of something.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28To get me down!
0:13:37 > 0:13:39TYRES SQUEAL
0:13:39 > 0:13:42A-a-a-argh!
0:13:43 > 0:13:46A-a-a-argh!
0:13:48 > 0:13:50CRUNCH!
0:14:11 > 0:14:13DOORBELL RINGS
0:14:16 > 0:14:17One cat, as promised.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21- Tabitha, you're safe.- Now, I...
0:14:25 > 0:14:28I fitted her with a tracking device on her collar.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32- Look who's back!- Oh, you have found the dear little thing.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Yeah, no thanks to you.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37If she goes missing again, you can track her with this.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40She won't go missing again.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44Oh, she's scratched one of her claws. Gordon, the three M's -
0:14:44 > 0:14:47makeover, manicure, massage.
0:14:47 > 0:14:48Yes, dear.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02You won't be needing this.
0:15:12 > 0:15:17You're going on a little trip, Tabitha. I've got you a ticket...
0:15:17 > 0:15:20one way to Brazil.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23You deserve an extra special reward for finding Tabitha.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27All in a day's work for an ace reporter.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Great.
0:15:31 > 0:15:35Isn't that nice...?
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Here, you can have that, Hacker.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40- Oh, no...!- Good boy.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45- Darling, Tabitha's got away again. - What?!
0:15:45 > 0:15:49- Sneaked out the bathroom window when I was shampooing her.- Oh, you fool!
0:15:49 > 0:15:53No worries, we'll soon have her back. Hacker, track her.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57TRACKING DEVICE BEEPS
0:16:04 > 0:16:05HACKER SNIFFS
0:16:05 > 0:16:08She's got to be near - we're getting a strong signal.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11TRACKING DEVICE BUZZES
0:16:16 > 0:16:18Got her.
0:16:18 > 0:16:22Tabitha. ..Tabitha.
0:16:22 > 0:16:26Come out. Tabitha... Help me, Hacker. ..Hacker!
0:16:28 > 0:16:30LOUD BURP
0:16:36 > 0:16:39I think Tabitha's in that box.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43Brazil is nice and warm, you know, Tabitha.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46You like the warm, don't you?
0:16:46 > 0:16:51And it's full of lovely people and wildlife and carnivals.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53But d'you know the best thing about it?
0:16:53 > 0:16:56It's 6,000 miles away!
0:16:56 > 0:16:58TABITHA MIAOWS
0:17:12 > 0:17:15SHE SCREAMS
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Oh, how dare you!
0:17:25 > 0:17:29Oh, how dare you! Take that, you horrible little dog.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32It's my granddaughter's birthday.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34You've ruined her cake...!
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Oh!
0:17:38 > 0:17:42Oh, no! Where's my hat?
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Oh, no, Tabitha! Tell me it isn't true.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50She's got a photo shoot. What can we do -
0:17:50 > 0:17:52inflate her with a bicycle pump?
0:17:52 > 0:17:56- Surely things can't get any worse. - PHONE RINGS
0:17:57 > 0:18:02- Hello.- Digby, how's it going? - Tremendously well, sir.- Good.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04Get that cat round to the office later.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07I want to take a few snaps with my new camera.
0:18:07 > 0:18:12I don't think she can, she's a bit flat out at the moment, sir.
0:18:12 > 0:18:16- Excellent, that's settled, See you at 5.- Yeah, but...
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Well, that's it.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20I'm going to emigrate.
0:18:20 > 0:18:24No, hang on, Hacker. All is not lost.
0:18:24 > 0:18:28Remember, every top reporter needs a source.
0:18:28 > 0:18:32No, Hacker, a source of information.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Sid the Source.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Pssst, Digby.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Just the man we wanted to see. ..Well, you know what I mean.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48What did you want to see me about?
0:18:48 > 0:18:52There's an advertising campaign that starts today for Kattikins cat food.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55Is there? I wouldn't know anything about that.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Doggie bag, Hacker.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05We were looking after the cat in the advert, but she's gone to ground.
0:19:05 > 0:19:09- Disappeared.- Oh, dear, you ARE going to be in the kitty litter!
0:19:09 > 0:19:11This is serious. I need your advice.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14I'll give you some. Change your shirt and have a wash.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17You have a distinct whiff of cat food about you.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19I mean, about the missing moggy.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23HACKER GROWLS
0:19:23 > 0:19:28- All you need do is get an identical replacement.- Where from?
0:19:32 > 0:19:36- There you go. - You cute little bundle of fluff.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37CAT SCREECHES
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Sid, she...!
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Come on, Hacker.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48One miaow, and I'll convert you to a pair of slippers.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Right, let's get her straight to the studio.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02- No-one will know the difference. - CAT SCREECHES
0:20:08 > 0:20:11I tell you what, YOU get her out.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14PHONE RINGS
0:20:14 > 0:20:17- Hello. - Have you found her?- Yes, we've...
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Oh, thank goodness. How is she?
0:20:20 > 0:20:23- Oh, fine, relaxed, content. - What's that screeching noise?
0:20:23 > 0:20:27- Bad line.- She should be at the studio by now.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Yes. But we'll...
0:20:29 > 0:20:33- Are you sure she's all right? - Yes! Seeing as she's late,
0:20:33 > 0:20:38we'll take her to the studio. No need for you to be there. Bye.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Haven't you got her out yet?
0:20:40 > 0:20:45Well, if she won't come out, there's only one thing for it.
0:20:45 > 0:20:46Cat suit.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Oh, she's forgotten her aromatherapy candles.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55She can't be creative without her lavender and jasmine.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58Er, where are you going with that basket?
0:20:58 > 0:21:01I thought I'd take some washing to the launderette.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04We have a perfectly good washing machine.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06- It's broken.- It's on now.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08TABITHA MIAOWS What was that?
0:21:08 > 0:21:14- The machine. I told you... it's making a funny noise.- Ah.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Well, you can drop me off at the studio.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20They've found Tabitha, isn't that wonderful news?
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Wonderful, dear.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33All sorted, Hacker. We do the advert, then take this thing
0:21:33 > 0:21:36back to Mrs Frobishire. She won't notice the difference.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38CAT SCREECHES
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Things are looking up, eh, Hacker?
0:21:42 > 0:21:45HACKER SNARLS
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Oh, I think you're wanted on set.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51HACKER GROWLS
0:21:52 > 0:21:55A-atchoo!
0:21:56 > 0:21:58OK, Tabitha, brilliant. Gorgeous.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Can you look straight at me?
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Can we get a shot of you eating some of the food?
0:22:03 > 0:22:06A shot of you eating some of the cat food...
0:22:06 > 0:22:08HACKER GROWLS
0:22:08 > 0:22:13Just leave it to me, she's just a bit nervous. That's all.
0:22:13 > 0:22:17Come on. Look, just have a little bit of it, it's delicious.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Look, yum-yum!
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Me? No, I've just had my lunch.
0:22:26 > 0:22:27All right...
0:22:32 > 0:22:34See...?
0:22:34 > 0:22:38Now, that's... lovely.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Feel those flavours just... What is that?
0:22:42 > 0:22:45"Liver and heart."
0:22:45 > 0:22:46Excuse me...
0:22:49 > 0:22:54Empty the washing out of that basket, she might want a little sleep later.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57- Where's darling Tabitha? - Very busy, can't see anyone.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Nonsense! What about her candles?
0:22:59 > 0:23:02- There isn't a power cut. - They help her get into her part.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06She's not playing a birthday cake! She just has to scoff cat food,
0:23:06 > 0:23:08anyone can do that. I should know.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10She is an artiste,
0:23:10 > 0:23:13she does not scoff - she savours.
0:23:13 > 0:23:18- HACKER GROWLS - Oh, just working on her vocal range.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28HACKER GROWLS
0:23:29 > 0:23:31She's all yours.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36Now, come on, Tabitha, stop that. Look who's here to see you.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39That is not Tabitha.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41It's a new look we're trying out.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45Since when does my Tabitha have dog breath and a wet nose?
0:23:45 > 0:23:48You can shut up. Where is she?
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Wait!
0:23:56 > 0:24:01- That's not her.- Well, if that isn't her, where is she?
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Well, it is her... A-atchoo!
0:24:03 > 0:24:05- ..sort of.- Oh, go away.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07- No, don't... - CAT SCREECHES
0:24:09 > 0:24:13- Oh, you idiot, you've frightened her! Get her down.- Me?
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Yes, now!
0:24:15 > 0:24:17I'd never get up there.
0:24:28 > 0:24:33- Oh, can't reach.- Use this.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35It's not a lion!
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Stand on it.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Almost.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58A-atchoo! ..A-a-a-argh!
0:24:59 > 0:25:03Oh, you men are hopeless.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Use this to catch her.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08TABITHA MIAOWS
0:25:09 > 0:25:12What on earth...?
0:25:14 > 0:25:16Tabitha!
0:25:17 > 0:25:21I KNEW you were up to something.
0:25:21 > 0:25:22What are you playing at?
0:25:22 > 0:25:26All right. I'm sick of that blasted cat.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29It's Tabitha this, Tabitha that. I don't seem to exist any more.
0:25:29 > 0:25:33If I'm not rocking it to sleep,
0:25:33 > 0:25:37I'm testing its milk or plumping its cushion. I can't take it any more.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41There, what have you... got to... say to that?
0:25:41 > 0:25:45I'll deal with you when we get home.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Come on, folks, sure we can sort this out.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52How about a nice picture for the paper? Come on.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Let's not get upset over a silly old cat, eh?
0:26:05 > 0:26:09CAT MIAOWS
0:26:11 > 0:26:14CAT SCREECHES
0:26:21 > 0:26:23Oh, you poor thing!
0:26:23 > 0:26:25I'll pull through.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28Not you - the cat!
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Oh, look, Gordon -
0:26:31 > 0:26:34another darling kitty for you to look after.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Ain't that nice?
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Nice?!
0:26:39 > 0:26:42There is nothing nice about cats!
0:26:42 > 0:26:44I'm in tatters.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47I'm covered in cat food, I have eaten cat food
0:26:47 > 0:26:49and I can't stop sneezing.
0:26:49 > 0:26:53I hate cats!
0:26:56 > 0:26:58And I hate dogs, too!
0:26:58 > 0:27:00HACKER GROWLS
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Ah, hot off the press, Simon?
0:27:07 > 0:27:10Another award-winning front page, no doubt.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18"Pilbury Post Man In Cat-Astrophe"?!
0:27:18 > 0:27:23DIGBY DIGWORTH!!