0:00:04 > 0:00:07# Time is running out
0:00:07 > 0:00:09# Stories to be found
0:00:09 > 0:00:11# What's it all about?
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Got to go and check around
0:00:14 > 0:00:17# If there's a rumour going round
0:00:17 > 0:00:19# Don't you forget it
0:00:19 > 0:00:22# Wherever something's going down
0:00:22 > 0:00:24# Got to get that scoop
0:00:24 > 0:00:26# Got to get that scoop
0:00:26 > 0:00:29# Got to get that scoop
0:00:29 > 0:00:33# Got to get that S-C-O-O-P. #
0:00:46 > 0:00:47ALARM BLEEPS
0:00:51 > 0:00:52ALARM BLEEPS
0:01:20 > 0:01:22CUCKOO! CUCKOO!
0:01:25 > 0:01:27WAKE UP!
0:01:27 > 0:01:29PAPER BOY!
0:02:27 > 0:02:30You're watching aerobics for dogs.
0:02:30 > 0:02:31Stretch your paws!
0:02:31 > 0:02:34And to the left, two, three, four.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36And to the right, two, three four.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Curl your tail! And twist and pat and sniff.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42There you are, Hacker, you can see what an ace reporter I am.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46My story is on the front page yet again -
0:02:46 > 0:02:48"Reporter reduces road to rubble."
0:02:48 > 0:02:52I can't see what all the fuss is about, there's plenty more roads.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56Anyway, I've nearly finished putting it back together again.
0:02:56 > 0:03:00There you are, it's just like a giant jigsaw puzzle, really...
0:03:00 > 0:03:02With a few pieces missing.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05And twist and pant and sniff,
0:03:05 > 0:03:08and twist and growl and pant and sniff.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10And twist and pant and sniff.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Still trying to keep fit, eh?
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Luckily, I don't have to take part in
0:03:14 > 0:03:18all that exercise codswallop. I look after my body.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21No, I do.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23I eat five portions of fruit a day and plenty of nuts.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Yeah, in chocolate.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28And twist and pant and sniff. And twist and pant and sniff.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30And twist and pant and sniff.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32We'll be back after these ads.
0:03:32 > 0:03:37Hold on to your trousers, because Cheesenburger is back.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41Wow, it's the new Kent Cheesenburger film!
0:03:41 > 0:03:45That man doesn't know the meaning of the word fear...
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Which is probably why he failed all of his exams.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49In Mission Combat Two,
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Cheesenburger must do battle with his evil twin brother.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Prepare for Double Cheesenburger.
0:03:55 > 0:03:56Know what?
0:03:56 > 0:03:59I reckon any minute now that phone's going to ring and it'll be
0:03:59 > 0:04:03Max telling me to go to Hollywood for an exclusive interview with
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Kent Cheesenburger.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18He's gonna phone any moment now.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20No, he will.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23I know he will.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25I tell you what, I'll phone him to check he's gonna phone me.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35- Simon, get in here. I've got some paperwork. - TELEPHONE
0:04:38 > 0:04:41- Hi, Max, it's Digby.- Who?
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Digby Digworth. You must remember me, you said I
0:04:43 > 0:04:47stood out from all the fools, idiots and boneheads who work for you.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Yeah, that's because you were the only one that was all three.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52- Oh, cheers!- Listen, Digby,
0:04:52 > 0:04:55I've got some important paperwork to be getting on with.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Ah, yes. Mmm.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06See, Digby, to make it
0:05:06 > 0:05:08big as a reporter, you've got to hit all your targets.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12'You are on hold, you are currently first in the queue
0:05:12 > 0:05:15to be shouted at by Max De Lacy.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21Yay!
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Digby, I've got a story for you.
0:05:25 > 0:05:30If I was to say Kent Cheesenburger, exclusive interview and Hollywood,
0:05:30 > 0:05:33I wouldn't be a million miles off the mark, would I, sir?
0:05:33 > 0:05:35- No, you wouldn't.- I knew it!
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Yeah, you'd be a hundred billion miles off the mark.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41You're going to report on a local hotel which has won a record
0:05:41 > 0:05:43eight awards for its cleanliness.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47- Cleanliness?! - Yeah. They swept the boards!
0:05:47 > 0:05:50And vacuumed the carpet and found those crumbs behind the sofa!
0:05:50 > 0:05:54Just go and interview the manager. The hotel's called the Parkside
0:05:54 > 0:05:56- and her name is Mrs Green. Understood?- Of course.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59I'm to park down the side of the green and interview the manager.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03- Now, does she have a name?- I just told her you name, you fool, Green!
0:06:03 > 0:06:07Youfool Green, now that is an unusual name!
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Right, Hacker, this story is about cleanliness.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17That shouldn't be too difficult.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Come on, Hacker, the news is out there, it just needs sniffing out.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27I smell a scoop!
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Hacker, I have to say, I'm not so sure about this story.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Hotels are so boring.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00I mean, they were so unreasonable, that last one we stayed at.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04All right, so I was playing my trombone at three in the morning.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08'This is Dog FM, broadcasting to dogs everywhere.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11'And please remember, your owner is for life and not just for Christmas.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14'Sure, he's no longer small, cuddly or cute, but please
0:07:14 > 0:07:16'don't abandon him on the street.'
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Concentrate, Hacker, we've got to get to the hotel, we haven't got
0:07:19 > 0:07:21a minute to waste. Satnav.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27So, where are we going?
0:07:27 > 0:07:31What do you mean, where are we going? I thought you had the map.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Map? What map?! Should I turn here?
0:07:34 > 0:07:38'Yes, turn here. No, I didn't mean turn there. I meant
0:07:38 > 0:07:39'turn there.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42'Oh, you never listen to me! Try the next road.'
0:07:42 > 0:07:44- Yeah, but left or right? - 'Oh, you've missed it now.'
0:07:44 > 0:07:47'That's typical! You never listen to a word I say, do you?
0:07:47 > 0:07:49'I'm not a taxi service, you know?
0:07:49 > 0:07:52'Turn right, and you haven't tidied up your room!
0:07:52 > 0:07:55'I said turn left! No, we're not nearly there yet.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57'And if your father had got himself
0:07:57 > 0:07:59'organised we would never have been in such a mess!'
0:08:08 > 0:08:12That must be the manager. Now, remember, her name is Mrs Green.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14We don't want her getting browned off with us.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20- Hello, Mrs Browned.- I'm Green.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Oh, are you? I hope it's not serious.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24And I hope it's not catching.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28I should say right here and now, I don't generally allow any filthy
0:08:28 > 0:08:30creatures who might irritate my guests onto the premises.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32I can assure you, Hacker is fully house trained.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34I wasn't talking about the dog.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38I am Digby Digworth from the Pilbury Post, congratulations
0:08:38 > 0:08:40on your cleanliness award.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43What a coincidence, you like the same chocolate I do!
0:08:43 > 0:08:45I was only eating that a few seconds ago.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Right, let's make a start, shall we?
0:08:47 > 0:08:52Now, what are your top tips on keeping a place like this spotless?
0:08:52 > 0:08:55We leave no stone unturned here.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59We even have cleaners who turn the stones and clean them.
0:08:59 > 0:09:03I can spot a speck of dust a mile away.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07What a coincidence, I can spot a speck of chocolate a mile away.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34That's Kent Cheesenburger!
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Mr Cheesenburger always stays here. He's holding a press conference.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44- Could you get me into it? - Of course I could, except that
0:09:44 > 0:09:48you are a filthy oaf and not fit to lick Mr Cheesenburger's boots.
0:09:48 > 0:09:53I expect he will be revealing details of his next British movie.
0:09:53 > 0:09:58- It's very hush hush.- Very Hush Hush, what a great name for a movie!
0:09:58 > 0:10:00I must go and take care of Mr Cheesenburger.
0:10:00 > 0:10:05Please, the two of you, feel free to leave my premises immediately.
0:10:21 > 0:10:25Hacker, did you see that?
0:10:25 > 0:10:29Kent Cheesenburger is wearing a wig!
0:10:29 > 0:10:31A thatch!
0:10:31 > 0:10:33A rug!
0:10:33 > 0:10:34A syrup!
0:10:34 > 0:10:37His hair is fake!
0:10:43 > 0:10:49You see, Hacker, he's famous for his fantastic hair, but it's fake.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52Now, what does that mean?
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Yes, all right, his hairdresser is going broke. But if I can get
0:10:54 > 0:10:57a shot of a bald Cheesenburger, it would be a front-page scoop!
0:10:57 > 0:11:01Now, how do we get into his room?
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Will you quieten down, Hacker?!
0:11:14 > 0:11:17Of course, room service!
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Why didn't you think of that?
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Eh?
0:11:35 > 0:11:38This plan is fool-proof, Hacker.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41You push me into Cheesenburger's room, I leap out and take the photo,
0:11:41 > 0:11:43nothing can go wrong!
0:11:44 > 0:11:46It's perfect.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Will you concentrate, Hacker?
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Now push me in!
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Room service!
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Say Cheesenburger!
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Argh!
0:12:08 > 0:12:09Oh, dear!
0:12:09 > 0:12:12I hate to say this, Kent, but you've really let yourself go.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Shall I refill that for you?
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Sweet dreams!
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Plan B, Hacker.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29We've got to get that wig off. Now, you guide me in.
0:12:29 > 0:12:34Now, don't you worry, I won third prize in the Pilbury Pike Contest.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Buddy, seeing as I am in your country, I am going
0:12:37 > 0:12:40to try one of the local delicacies.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43So can I have ye olde waffle,
0:12:43 > 0:12:49with ye olde maple syrup, and can I have the ye olde soda pop with that?
0:12:52 > 0:12:56What? A little bit to the right? Is that my right or your right?
0:12:56 > 0:12:57So left is right?!
0:12:57 > 0:12:59So right is left and left is right?!
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Hold on, I think I got something!
0:13:13 > 0:13:14Do you want me to go to the right?
0:13:14 > 0:13:19But is that your right, my right, or right is left?
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Look, I'm gonna go left, right?
0:13:22 > 0:13:24GOTCHA!
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Hotel security.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Nothing more to see here.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Just carry on.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Hacker.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49I think we got away with that, Hacker.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55It's all right, it's just an extremely tall pot plant.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59Would you just mind telling me what you are doing?!
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Mrs Greenfly...
0:14:01 > 0:14:03I mean Green,
0:14:03 > 0:14:05may I just say that's a lovely hat you have on?
0:14:11 > 0:14:15And never come back!
0:14:17 > 0:14:20We've got to get into Cheesenburger's room.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23I know, we need to consult a source.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26Remember, every top reporter needs a source.
0:14:26 > 0:14:31No, Hacker, not barbecue sauce, a source of information!
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Sid the Source.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Digby! Over here.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Hold on. Is that who I think it is?
0:14:49 > 0:14:53Yes, it's a person who gives you what you want.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56Great, I'll have two vanilla cones with chocolate sprinkles, please.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Not the ice-cream man, I'm Sid the Source!
0:14:59 > 0:15:03- Oh, of course. Any chance I could still have a lolly?- Could be.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Just tell me what you need to know.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09I...
0:15:09 > 0:15:13I need to know how to get into Kent Cheesenburger's room.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16That's easy. Kent Cheesenburger
0:15:16 > 0:15:20is in town because his next movie is going to be directed by Guy Mockney.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23- Not Guy Mockney?!- Yeah, Guy Mockney.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25- Really, Guy Mockney?!- Yes.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Well, well, well - old Guy Mockney.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31- Who's Guy Mockney?- He's that ace young British director.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34He directed that gangster cookery film.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Not Lots of Chicken Stock and Two Smoked Haddock?!
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Yes, and the thing is Cheesenburger and Mockney
0:15:39 > 0:15:41have never met face to face.
0:15:41 > 0:15:46- Do you understand what that means? - Yeah.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48- You don't, do you?- No, I don't.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51- It means you could dress up as Guy Mockney.- Dress up as him?
0:15:51 > 0:15:54I don't even know what he looks like.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Hacker, doggy bank. Come on, this is vital information.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Guy Mockney is taller
0:16:08 > 0:16:10than a skateboard...
0:16:14 > 0:16:18But smaller than an amusement park.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Here's his photo.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45This is it, Hacker. The most important thing is we act
0:16:45 > 0:16:48like we are VIPs - smooth, suave and sophisticated.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Let's do it.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55What is the meaning of this mess?!
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Oi-oi, me old saveloy. There's me hand, there's me heart.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00- I am here to see Kent Cheesenburger. - Hang on. Do I know you?
0:17:00 > 0:17:03I should hope so, guv'nor, cos I'm not Digby Digworth.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05I'm Guy Mockney, the film director.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Of course!
0:17:07 > 0:17:09Oh, I do apologise, Mr Mockney.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Kent Cheesenburger said he was expecting you.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Oh, I am a huge fan - your films are fab.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18- Oh, good. Could you tell me what they are about, please?- What?
0:17:18 > 0:17:22- Oh, they're proper, they're proper!- I should warn you there was a local
0:17:22 > 0:17:24reporter around earlier - sniffing around, you know,
0:17:24 > 0:17:26trying to annoy Mr Cheesenburger. You know the type, I'm sure.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30Tall, dark and handsome with a razor-sharp mind?
0:17:30 > 0:17:33No, more fat, dim with a stupid grin.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Well, I'll just go up the old apples and pears to Kent's room.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Apples and pears - stairs.
0:17:38 > 0:17:43Oh... Of course! I expect your new film with him
0:17:43 > 0:17:45will have a few hair-raising moments?
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Hair-raising, I should hope so, yeah.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49About three inches should do it.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51I will see you later, me old china plate.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56China plate, mate. Just...
0:17:56 > 0:17:57apples and pears.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04Remember, Hacker, we've got to get this bald photo.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05Guy!
0:18:05 > 0:18:08- I'm really excited we're making this movie together.- So am I, Kent.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Me goose bumps have got goose bumps.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14You wanna know why? This movie's got that one thing that's gonna
0:18:14 > 0:18:15make it a real blockbuster.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Action, romance, car chases?
0:18:18 > 0:18:23No, the words "Starring Kent Cheesenburger" on the poster.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26- Tell me something, Guy, do you work out?- Can't you tell?
0:18:26 > 0:18:29I am in peak physical condition.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31I'm off peak - it's cheaper.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33OK, Mr Mockney, tell me,
0:18:33 > 0:18:35what's this movie all about?
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Oh, the movie? Ah.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Well, I think it'd be easier if we acted it out.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43My assistant can play your glamorous co-star.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45I wanted to ask you something about your assistant.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Are all British girls as pretty as she is?
0:18:52 > 0:18:54OK, shoot, buddy, I am all ears.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57- And no hair! - You say something about my hair?
0:18:57 > 0:19:00No! No, I was talking about your character, he's called... Pierre.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03- OK.- He's a baldy.- What?!
0:19:03 > 0:19:06- No, he's a baddy, it was a typing error.- I don't wanna play a baddy.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Did I say you wanted to play a baddy? No, you're a hero...
0:19:09 > 0:19:10- Yeah, great!- With no hair.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12- What?- ..oplane, no hairoplane to rescue you.
0:19:12 > 0:19:17You see, your glamorous girlfriend, she's been kidnapped by
0:19:17 > 0:19:19an evil professor!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Great!
0:19:21 > 0:19:24- What happens next? - She's being lowered
0:19:24 > 0:19:27into a vat of deadly piranhas. You don't know what to do.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30- You're desperate! - Sounds like I'm tearing my hair out.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32No, I do that for you!
0:19:36 > 0:19:39This movie is awesome! I don't wanna change anything.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46I'll see you downstairs, buddy.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50Now, where's my girlfriend got to?
0:20:04 > 0:20:07Kent, you are the Cheesenburger...
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Going in there is not for the faint-hearted.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15If Cheesenburger finds someone in his bathroom, he will tear them
0:20:15 > 0:20:18limb from limb with his bare hands.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20OK, Hacker, in you go.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31# It's easy to see
0:20:31 > 0:20:34# There's no one as pretty as me
0:20:36 > 0:20:41# His name is Cheesen Cheesenburger... #
0:20:45 > 0:20:49Who's that? Is that you, doll?
0:20:49 > 0:20:53- Are you back from shopping? - Yes, it's me, your doll.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Back from shopping.
0:20:57 > 0:21:01- Did you buy that new dress you wanted?- Yes. It's stunning.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04You'll barely recognise me in it.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07There's the loofah. Oh!
0:21:14 > 0:21:17- Where's that towel?- Oh!
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Oh!
0:21:20 > 0:21:25Honey, for a five-star hotel, the towels are sure scratchy!
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Where's that...
0:21:31 > 0:21:36Right, here we are. Mr Cheesenburger's room.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49May I say what a real honour
0:21:49 > 0:21:52it is having you and Mr Cheesenburger staying with us?
0:22:16 > 0:22:22It really was no trouble carrying all of those heavy bags for you.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Come to clean the room, huh?
0:22:24 > 0:22:26For your information, I am the hotel manager.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29Wow, and they still make you clean?
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Lady, you need a new job!
0:22:31 > 0:22:34TELEPHONE RINGS
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Oh, no, not now!
0:22:44 > 0:22:46- What's that noise?- I don't know,
0:22:46 > 0:22:49but I'm going to find out.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Oh!
0:22:51 > 0:22:54- WALKIE-TALKIE RINGS - Yes?
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Who's just arrived?
0:22:56 > 0:22:58He says he's Guy Mockney?
0:23:00 > 0:23:03No, that can't be. Guy Mockney arrived over an hour ago.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07Yes, I'm coming down now to sort this out.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Do excuse me, sir.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Digby, did you get the story?
0:23:18 > 0:23:21- What do you think?- Well, I think you're a fool, but you didn't
0:23:21 > 0:23:25- answer my question. Did you get the story?- Of course.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Digby, what's going on?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30I can barely hear you.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Digby, explain yourself.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34What's going on?
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Who's in there?
0:23:36 > 0:23:39- Darling, I can explain! - Who are you calling darling?!
0:23:39 > 0:23:42I love you!
0:23:42 > 0:23:44I love you too, babe.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46Digby, why did you just tell me you love me?
0:23:46 > 0:23:49What do you love most about me?
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Your beautiful piercing eyes.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55Well, quite a few people have said my eyes are my best...
0:23:55 > 0:23:57- What's going on?!- Come on out, babe.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01This is outrageous. This is unheard of! This is...
0:24:01 > 0:24:03I am just trying on a new outfit.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05I want to look my best for you.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Making me feel ill. Urgh!
0:24:12 > 0:24:14You always look amazing.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17- Come on out, babes.- Close your eyes.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20I want it to be a surprise.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34What the...
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Some other time, maybe?
0:24:39 > 0:24:43Please accept my fulsome apologies, Mr Mockney, but I'm certain whoever
0:24:43 > 0:24:46this impostor is, he'll be long gone.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49But then again, perhaps not!
0:24:51 > 0:24:54Stop! Stop!
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Hacker, Cheesenburger's press conference is any moment now.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04How are we going to get that wig off?
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Hacker? Hacker?
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Where's he got gone? Oh, who needs him?
0:25:15 > 0:25:18I can think of a great idea all of my own.
0:25:18 > 0:25:24And I've got it! All I need is an inflatable kangaroo, an orange,
0:25:24 > 0:25:27a hovercraft and a time machine!
0:25:27 > 0:25:29No, that'll never work.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Where am I going to get an orange at this time, eh?
0:25:37 > 0:25:41Hopeless. There's no way that wig's ever coming off.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45First of all, I know your country is small and wet and you're very
0:25:45 > 0:25:47honoured to have me here. You may applaud me now.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54I'd like to start by announcing that I am going to be starring in
0:25:54 > 0:25:56the new Guy Mockney movie.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59But that's not why I called this press conference here today.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02No, I am announcing that this movie
0:26:02 > 0:26:09will be the first time the public can see the real Kent Cheesenburger.
0:26:09 > 0:26:10THEY GASP
0:26:10 > 0:26:14My story, gone!
0:26:14 > 0:26:18From now on, in all my movies, I will be bald and proud.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25No, Hacker, no!
0:26:27 > 0:26:30SHE SCREAMS
0:26:32 > 0:26:35I hate annoying fans!
0:26:40 > 0:26:42That's it! I have had enough!
0:26:42 > 0:26:44OK, everybody, stay calm.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Keep your hair on!
0:26:46 > 0:26:49It's all your fault! You're nothing but a lowlife journalist!
0:26:49 > 0:26:52This was a decent hotel before you came in this morning
0:26:52 > 0:26:54with your trashy dogs and bald people
0:26:54 > 0:26:56and wigs flying all over the place! What are you gonna do?
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Get out of my hotel, I never want to see you again!
0:26:59 > 0:27:01I never want to see you again!
0:27:05 > 0:27:09Ah, hot off the press, Simon?
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Another award-winning front page, no doubt.
0:27:15 > 0:27:19"Reporter rubbishes local hotel?!"
0:27:19 > 0:27:23DIGBY DIGWORTH!
0:27:41 > 0:27:43Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd