0:00:04 > 0:00:07# Time is running out
0:00:07 > 0:00:09# Stories to be found
0:00:09 > 0:00:11# What's it all about?
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Got to go and check around
0:00:14 > 0:00:17# If there's a rumour going round
0:00:17 > 0:00:19# Don't you forget it
0:00:19 > 0:00:22# Whenever something's going down
0:00:22 > 0:00:24# Got to get that scoop
0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Got to get that scoop
0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Got to get that scoop
0:00:29 > 0:00:30# Got to get that
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# S-C-O-O-P! #
0:00:34 > 0:00:35BIRDS TWEET
0:00:35 > 0:00:37HE SNORES
0:00:46 > 0:00:47ALARM BEEPS
0:00:51 > 0:00:52ALARM CONTINUES
0:01:19 > 0:01:22Cuckoo!
0:01:25 > 0:01:27LOUD SCREAMING
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Paperboy!
0:01:38 > 0:01:39ROARING
0:02:27 > 0:02:28DOG SNORES
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Hacker! Here, boy! Here, boy!
0:02:32 > 0:02:33You'll wanna see this.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37Ace reporter, Digby D Digworth has made the front page.
0:02:37 > 0:02:42Remember the last article I wrote? Pilbury DJ contest? Ha-ha!
0:02:42 > 0:02:45"DJ Digby's decks disaster."
0:02:45 > 0:02:47That wasn't quite what I...
0:02:47 > 0:02:52had in mind. Still, I suppose that's what they mean by surround sound.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55What do you think?
0:02:55 > 0:02:57HACKER SNORES
0:02:57 > 0:02:58Hacker!
0:02:58 > 0:03:03I don't think you're giving me your attention! Well, I've got the answer.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07I got it on the internet. Here, boy!
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Here, boy!
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Hacker, present!
0:03:12 > 0:03:14HE BARKS EXCITEDLY
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Money isn't everything, Hacker.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25Nor is food.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29Now, you just wait 'til you see this.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Here we are, instant obedience for dogs.
0:03:32 > 0:03:37It works on ultrasound by remote control. Yeah.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40HE WHIMPERS
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Now, there's a button for each command!
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Let's try it out, shall we? Now, sit!
0:03:53 > 0:03:54Beg!
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Lie down.
0:03:59 > 0:04:00Roll over.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02CRASHING
0:04:02 > 0:04:05This is fantastic! What do you think?
0:04:05 > 0:04:07HE WHIMPERS
0:04:07 > 0:04:10All right, well, you just sit there quietly...
0:04:13 > 0:04:18..because I'm expecting an important phone call with the editor, Max.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20He's due to call at any moment.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25He said he would. I'm sure he will.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31I tell you what, I'll just phone him to check he's going to phone me.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35PHONE RINGS
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Max De Lacey, editor in chief.
0:04:39 > 0:04:40Hi, Boss. it's Digby.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Ah, Digby, about time.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44I'm giving this paper a shake-up.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Too many letting others do all the graft.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50To make it big you need to be self-reliant.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54A bit more forceful with the fist, Simon. Just like this.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57I'm looking for a reporter who is dynamic,
0:04:57 > 0:04:59energetic and forceful.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01D'you know of anyone?
0:05:01 > 0:05:03You say there's no-one quite like me.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07I suppose I should be grateful for small mercies.
0:05:07 > 0:05:08Not yet!
0:05:09 > 0:05:13Digby, I want you to go to the police technology conference.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16They're demonstrating a robot policeman.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19- I want the low-down on the hi-tech. - Count on me.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23If I wanted a calculator, I'd have got one from the market.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26What are you waiting for? Move! Now!
0:05:31 > 0:05:35Hacker, my faithful news hound, let's sniff out this story.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38I smell a scoop.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40HACKER GROANS
0:05:40 > 0:05:42What's the matter?
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Oh, I see, on strike, are you?
0:05:45 > 0:05:49Well, we'll see about that.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Hacker, CATNAV.
0:06:15 > 0:06:16HE GROWLS
0:06:16 > 0:06:21Come on, we're late already, the conference starts any minute.
0:06:21 > 0:06:22Hmph!
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Anybody can do this, y'know?
0:06:30 > 0:06:32I don't need your help.
0:06:32 > 0:06:33There.
0:06:33 > 0:06:38- CATNAV: You have reached your destination. - HACKER LAUGHS
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Turn around when possible.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44That should do it, just reset the thing.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48Switching to beginner's mode.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50SILLY VOICE: Boo-be boo-boo.
0:06:50 > 0:06:55Boo-boo! Do Mummy and Daddy know you're playing with their things?
0:06:55 > 0:06:58SATNAV: Temper. Is Diddums having a tantrum?
0:06:58 > 0:07:01Let's go for a little ridey-poos, then.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Turn left.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11That's the hand you hold your crayon with.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13HACKER LAUGHS
0:07:17 > 0:07:21Hope it's not far, I don't wanna miss the opening video.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Turn left.
0:07:25 > 0:07:26Turn left.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29I'm sure I've seen that place before.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30Turn left.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Turn left.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Good day, and thank you for that kind applause.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47Today, you are going to witness a remarkable demonstration.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50No, it's not a protest march!
0:07:50 > 0:07:53HE LAUGHS
0:07:55 > 0:08:00Let me introduce Councillor Wainwright, who's taking the chair,
0:08:00 > 0:08:02and I don't mean stealing it!
0:08:02 > 0:08:04HE LAUGHS
0:08:07 > 0:08:10She's from the funding committee, who hopefully
0:08:10 > 0:08:15will be buying a robot policeman for the Pilbury force.
0:08:15 > 0:08:20Ladies and gentlemen, take a look at the future of modern policing.
0:08:24 > 0:08:29Introducing the B1LL, the most advanced
0:08:29 > 0:08:33law-enforcement robot in the world.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36This computerised innovation will take the workload
0:08:36 > 0:08:39of five human constables on the beat.
0:08:39 > 0:08:44An efficient enforcement machine. No lunch hour, no tea breaks,
0:08:44 > 0:08:46and above all, no pay.
0:08:46 > 0:08:52His services will save Pilbury's police force £500,000 a year.
0:08:54 > 0:08:55Turn left.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Turn left.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Turn left.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08Turn left. This is taking longer than I thought. Turn left.
0:09:13 > 0:09:20The B1LL can handle everything, from routine police tasks,
0:09:20 > 0:09:23as well as sophisticated environmental matters.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Warning, diversion.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Warning, diversion.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Turn left.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34Turn left.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38- Turn left. - I'm sure I've seen that place before.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Turn left.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Turn left.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53With visual recognition technology as standard, the B1LL
0:09:53 > 0:09:58is able to respond as accurately as any officer on the beat.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03ROBOTIC VOICE: Stop, thief.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07But unlike an officer on the beat, the B1LL
0:10:07 > 0:10:10has unique magnetic capabilities.
0:10:10 > 0:10:15Every B1LL comes equipped with its own electromagnetic storage plate
0:10:15 > 0:10:18for easy retrieval and transportation.
0:10:21 > 0:10:26Yes, the B1LL, the ultimate in technology.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31You may have spotted that was me playing the part of the criminal in that video.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Expect to see me at next year's Oscars.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36HE CHUCKLES
0:10:38 > 0:10:41- Yes, well, moving on.- Ha.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44Ha.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46ROBOTIC VOICE: That was very funny.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49Hur hur.
0:10:51 > 0:10:56Thank you! Ladies and gentlemen, B1LL.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59At least someone's got a sense of humour.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10OK. I know you're sulking but purely in the interest of time,
0:11:10 > 0:11:14you understand, would you mind operating the CATNAV system?
0:11:14 > 0:11:17Hm, hm, hm, hm.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Please.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41- 'Welcome back, captain, let's get going to the conference.' - Woof!
0:11:47 > 0:11:50And there I suggest we have a little break,
0:11:50 > 0:11:53- and I don't mean an arm or a leg or anything, of course! - HE CHUCKLES
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Oh, one important thing,
0:11:55 > 0:11:59I would ask that there is no flash photography near the robot.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03It can have a detrimental effect on his circuitry.
0:12:03 > 0:12:04B1LL.
0:12:04 > 0:12:09ROBOTIC VOICE: Everyone form a line and follow me.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12And no talking at the back.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Very impressive, Inspector.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20My jokes, or the robot?!
0:12:20 > 0:12:26If the demonstration continues like this, I shall certainly recommend that the committee buy the robot.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31- We're late.- Woof.- Oh, well.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32Blend in with the crowd.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34No-one'll notice.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41ROBOTIC VOICE: Medical emergency.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Let me through.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45I am a robot.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Medical emergency.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Medical emergency.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58- Is sir all right?- Yes, thank you.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00It's me own stupid fault.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Correct.
0:13:03 > 0:13:07WHIRRING
0:13:07 > 0:13:11Mr, er, Robot, could I take a picture, please?
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Warning, flash camera alert.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15Flash camera alert.
0:13:15 > 0:13:19It's not all that flash, really.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28Emergency, emergency. Robot in need of assistance.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Robot in need of assistance.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35Robot in need of...of...of...of...of...
0:13:35 > 0:13:38assis...sis...sis...sis... sis... sis...sis...sis...tance.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Robot robot robot robot robot robot.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45Robot in need of assistance! Robot in need of assistance!
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Robot in need of assistance! Robot in need of assistance!
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Robot in need of assistance!
0:13:51 > 0:13:57Emergency, emergency, take cover, take cover.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11It's all right, you can come out now.
0:14:13 > 0:14:18Did I or did I not say there was to be no flash photography?
0:14:20 > 0:14:24So whose camera is this? Hm?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28HE WHISTLES
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Argh!
0:14:31 > 0:14:33And you are?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Digby D Digworth.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38- The D stands for...- Disgraceful!
0:14:43 > 0:14:47Right, now I'd like to give you a live demonstration
0:14:47 > 0:14:52of the full capabilities of our computerised policeman. Our PC PC.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54HE CHUCKLES
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Now, the B1LL is perfect
0:14:57 > 0:15:00for many different roles... and not just sausage!
0:15:00 > 0:15:03CHUCKLING
0:15:03 > 0:15:07For instance, in calming traffic he is 50% more reliable than
0:15:07 > 0:15:09a traditional sleeping policeman.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13And with his unique recognition facilities,
0:15:13 > 0:15:18he is perfectly equipped to tail offenders.
0:15:18 > 0:15:22CHUCKLING
0:15:22 > 0:15:25- (Stop it. Stop it.)- Woof!
0:15:25 > 0:15:28HE GROWLS
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Woof!
0:15:32 > 0:15:34I'm afraid, if you can't sit still for a few minutes,
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- I'm going to have to ask you to leave.- He started it.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Sorry.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43I'm sorry about that.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Blaming it on the dog.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Really, a grown man.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49He should be ashamed of himself.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53Right. For the next part of the demonstration, I need a volunteer.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55- You.- Hm?
0:16:01 > 0:16:05B1LL, finger print this man.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18You're nicked, chummy.
0:16:26 > 0:16:27You fingerprint.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31I'm not sure this is quite right.
0:16:33 > 0:16:39- Now...face print. - Shouldn't you stop him?
0:16:39 > 0:16:42- Er, yes.- Face print. - Yes, I suppose I should.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54PHONE RINGS Excuse me, sorry. Hello?
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Digby?
0:16:56 > 0:16:57'How is it going?'
0:16:57 > 0:17:00'Hm? Working hard, getting your hands dirty?'
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Not just my hands as it happens, boss.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04'Good. Now, do you know what I really want?'
0:17:07 > 0:17:10- Grgh!- 'No.'
0:17:10 > 0:17:13I want a shot of councillor Wainwright with the robot.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15'Simple enough, isn't it, even for you.'
0:17:15 > 0:17:18There might just be one tiny problem.
0:17:18 > 0:17:23Digby, I'm a busy man, don't bother me with trifles, right?
0:17:24 > 0:17:26- Yes, sir.- 'Good!'
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Get on with it!
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Well, I'm sorry, Inspector. It looked very promising
0:17:37 > 0:17:40but I'm afraid the robot is just not reliable enough.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42No, wait. Councillor...
0:17:42 > 0:17:46all I need is just one photo of you shaking the robot's hand.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- And then you'll go?- Absolutely.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52It's a small price to pay, I suppose.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55B1LL, if you wouldn't mind?
0:18:00 > 0:18:03What did...what did I say? No flash!
0:18:17 > 0:18:19That was a surprise, wasn't it?
0:18:26 > 0:18:28B1LL, release that woman!
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Just what is going on?
0:18:34 > 0:18:38B1LL in love.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Very nice. What is it, a washing machine, tumble-drier?
0:18:41 > 0:18:48- Ha. Ha. You very special. - Yes, I know.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53B1LL love you.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Don't be ridiculous! You can't be in love with me.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59You're a robot and I'm a councillor.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01You be safe here.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05B1LL will return.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Ha, no reception!
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Would you believe it, eh?
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Rampaging robot and I had my finger over the lens.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28HE BARKS
0:19:29 > 0:19:33He's gone out into the High Street. This is our chance to redeem ourself.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37It's also our last chance to get a photograph. Come on! We've got a robot to catch.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52Flower man, move your car or be clamped.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10- What we need is some sort of sophisticated tracking device. - You're nicked.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Or maybe just our ears.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20Sorry about that, he's with us. How much do we owe you?
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Oh, that much?
0:20:24 > 0:20:25- Hacker?- Hm?
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Doggy bank. HE GROWLS
0:20:35 > 0:20:39Oh, this is not going to help my funding case.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Digby Digworth... worthless, more like.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Ace reporter? Nut case reporter.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48I've seen more brains in a bluebottle.
0:20:52 > 0:20:53Sir?
0:20:53 > 0:20:58- Excuse me.- It's all right, it's all right, he's with us.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02COINS RATTLE
0:21:12 > 0:21:15- We've got to stop him, any ideas? - Woof.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30- Great idea, Hacker. Remember, as soon as he falls, you pounce, and grab his collar.- Woof.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33In years to come when people look back and remember the day
0:21:33 > 0:21:36their town was threatened by a rampaging robot, what will they say?
0:21:36 > 0:21:41It was that hero Hacker that saved us and he did it just for us.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47- That...and 50p.- Woof.
0:21:48 > 0:21:49Hacker.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02There's only one thing for it.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06- At times like this, every top reporter needs a source.- Woof.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09- No, Hacker. A source of information. - Oh.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14Sid the source. Come on.
0:22:18 > 0:22:23- Psst!- Ah, ga ga ga, goo goo goo.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Digby! What's the matter with you?
0:22:26 > 0:22:30- you're speaking more sense than normal.- Sid, am I glad to see you.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33- Yes, you are, 50p. - No, no, that wasn't my question.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35No refunds.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39No, you see, I need to stop a robot that's running amok
0:22:39 > 0:22:42and stealing flowers and chocolate and wedding gowns and things.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44- Any ideas, Sid?- Simple.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Hacker, doggy bank. Come on!
0:22:50 > 0:22:53- You see, the thing is.... - CRASHING
0:22:53 > 0:22:55- ..and that's it. - SIRENS WAIL
0:22:55 > 0:22:58Oh, no, that's the card shop. What was that again?
0:23:01 > 0:23:04- I said, the thing is... - CLATTERING
0:23:04 > 0:23:06..and that's it.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09That's the dress shop. What was that again?
0:23:10 > 0:23:12- I said... - CRASHING
0:23:13 > 0:23:17- Have you got that? - Not the jeweller's. What can I do?
0:23:17 > 0:23:19- What can I do?- Think about it.
0:23:19 > 0:23:24Flowers, chocolate, cake, and if I'm not mistaken, he's just got a ring.
0:23:24 > 0:23:29- What does that suggest to you? - He's starting a home delivery service, what a great idea.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30It's just what Pilbury needs.
0:23:30 > 0:23:34A three-tiered cake, an engagement ring,
0:23:34 > 0:23:37your robot wants to marry councillor Wainwright.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40That's dreadful. She's already got a husband.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43- What you need is this... - A robot retrieval kit.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45Thanks, Sid. I wonder what it is.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49Some kind of high-tech circuitry to immobilise the robot?
0:23:49 > 0:23:52A re-programming ray, a sonic screwdriver? Come on, Hacker.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57A robot retrieval kit?
0:23:57 > 0:24:00This is not what I expected at all.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09HE LAUGHS
0:24:09 > 0:24:13What? I think I would pass as Councillor Wainwright's twin sister.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15All right, her ugly twin sister.
0:24:15 > 0:24:21I hope you know what you're doing with this electromagnetic thingy. BUZZING
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Right, this is the plan, I'll get B1LL to chase me
0:24:23 > 0:24:27and when he's in range, you press the button. That should stop him.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30HE GIGGLES
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Councillor Wainwright?
0:24:34 > 0:24:37- B1LL?- I'm in here!
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Are you all right? Is B1LL with you?
0:24:40 > 0:24:42He went off somewhere. He locked me in here.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45Don't worry, I'll soon have you out of there.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47I've still got my wits about me.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Oh, and I was trying not to worry.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52When he comes back, I'll wait out of sight,
0:24:52 > 0:24:54and then, when he tries to open the door,
0:24:54 > 0:24:57I'll charge him and I mean in every sense of the word!
0:25:06 > 0:25:09IN FEMININE VOICE: B1LL?
0:25:19 > 0:25:21What's he up to now?
0:25:24 > 0:25:26OK, Hacker, when I say the word...grgh!
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Grgh?
0:25:29 > 0:25:35B1LL love you.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Oooh! HE GIGGLES
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Emergency! Emergency!
0:25:49 > 0:25:55- Shutting down. B1LL shutting down. - We've done it, Hacker.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Now all we need to do is get a photo and we'll be heroes.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Digworth! What do you think you're up to? Grgh!
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Grgh? Oh.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07WHIRRING
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Turn it off Hacker, turn it off.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Ah, hot off the press, Simon.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Another award-winning front page, no doubt?
0:26:46 > 0:26:49"Digby destroys the long arm of the law!"
0:26:49 > 0:26:54Digby Digwo-o-o-o-o-o-rth!
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:08 > 0:27:11E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk