0:00:04 > 0:00:07# Time is running out
0:00:07 > 0:00:09# Stories to be found
0:00:09 > 0:00:11# What's it all about?
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# Got to go and check around
0:00:14 > 0:00:17# If there's a rumour going round
0:00:17 > 0:00:19# Don't you forget it
0:00:19 > 0:00:22# Wherever something's going down
0:00:22 > 0:00:24# Got to get that scoop
0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Got to get that scoop
0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Got to get that scoop
0:00:29 > 0:00:34# Got to get that S-C-O-O-P
0:00:34 > 0:00:37- You're up early, Hacker. - It's half past ten!
0:00:37 > 0:00:39A good reporter needs all the sleep he can get.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42- What's for breakfast?- Leftovers.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45Oh, Hacker!
0:00:45 > 0:00:49- And stop eating the mail! - HE WHISTLES
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Anyway, it's only a bill. Another bill.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56- Ooh, final demand from the pizza boy.- Ooh.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59This looks important. Pilbury College, eh?
0:00:59 > 0:01:03Addressed to Mr Digby D Digworth, Ace Reporter.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07- We all know what the D stands for. - Dollop.- No, Dynamic.
0:01:07 > 0:01:11Dear Mr Digworth. In recognition of your outstanding work as a reporter,
0:01:11 > 0:01:15we would like you to present a lecture to our journalism students
0:01:15 > 0:01:21at 11am today. Yours sincerely, the Archchancellor.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Did you hear that, Hacker? Fame at last!
0:01:24 > 0:01:27When word gets out, I'll be Max's star reporter for sure!
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Front pages every day!
0:01:29 > 0:01:32All the jelly I can eat! Ooh!
0:01:32 > 0:01:36- What time did you say?- 11am.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Go!
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Come on, Hacker! Let's hit the road!
0:01:48 > 0:01:50That's easy for you to say.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02Good morning!
0:02:09 > 0:02:11After you.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16Hey!
0:02:16 > 0:02:20- Sorry I'm late. - It's all set up for you, Digby.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22- Good boy.- Thank you.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37THEY SNIGGER
0:02:40 > 0:02:43THEY LAUGH
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Hacker! Tape!
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Not that sort of tape!
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Not a tape measure! Proper tape!
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Hello.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19Should we be taking notes yet, sir? THEY LAUGH
0:03:19 > 0:03:23- I know that voice!- Of course you do.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Everybody knows Selina Sharp,
0:03:27 > 0:03:30- Pilbury's number one reporter.- Yeah?
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Well if you're a number one, that makes me a...
0:03:34 > 0:03:37A zero!
0:03:37 > 0:03:42- Come to learn from the master, have you?- Why? Is he here?
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Haha! You'll be laughing on the other side of your face
0:03:45 > 0:03:47when I'm a famous reporting superstar.
0:03:47 > 0:03:54Yes, that's right. I'm here to tell you what every good reporter needs.
0:03:55 > 0:04:00And the first thing you need is to be ready for adventure.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Every day you will face new challenges,
0:04:03 > 0:04:06dangerous obstacles and difficult characters
0:04:06 > 0:04:11in your never-ending quest for the all-important scoop.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Lights! And action!
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Ah, Hacker! Ooh, I've got a good feeling about today.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28- I can feel a scoop coming on. - BUZZING
0:04:28 > 0:04:31- I'm buzzing all over in anticipation!- Digby.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35- Your phone's on vibrate again. - Oh, is it?- Yeah.- Oh, yeah.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40Digby D Digworth, Pilbury Post.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44- What colour pants do you wear? - This is about football!
0:04:44 > 0:04:48You're from the Post, not the Beano. What's your next question?
0:04:48 > 0:04:51- What's his favourite type of crisp? - Yeah.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54How can he see my questions from there?
0:04:57 > 0:05:03- All ready. Where's your lead, Hacker?- Don't know. We lost it.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05There it is.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08- Ohh.- Come here.
0:05:08 > 0:05:13- No, no, get off! I can't breathe! - Stop being silly.
0:05:13 > 0:05:17- Have you packed the map?- Why do we need a map to get to the office?
0:05:17 > 0:05:21- We've been there hundreds of times. - Cos a good scout is always prepared.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24You never know what's around the corner. But with a map,
0:05:24 > 0:05:27you can always see what's coming. Let's go.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30HE LAUGHS
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Now, it's not very often I say this, Digby.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38In fact, I've never said this before. But you've proved me wrong.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43I'm going to do the Pilbury Fun Run!
0:05:43 > 0:05:45Oh, good grief, man!
0:05:45 > 0:05:49- All right, sorry, I'll come up with something else.- Brilliant!
0:05:49 > 0:05:52- What? You mean you like it? - Oh, I love it.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55That's a... That's a real scoop!
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Did you hear that, Hacker? A real scoop! Eh?
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- Finally I'm getting the respect I deserve!- Ohh!
0:06:04 > 0:06:08Let's get going. Total concentration. Now...
0:06:11 > 0:06:13What's it like being a big star?
0:06:13 > 0:06:16- Well, it's...- Ahem!
0:06:16 > 0:06:20- It's a huge responsibility being a role model...- I don't believe it!
0:06:20 > 0:06:24Hey, hey! You got a fruit basket, Hacker! With a real pineapple!
0:06:25 > 0:06:29No, no, no. No, no, come on. There's no need for applause.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33- You ain't seen nothing yet! - No, we haven't!
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- THEY SNIGGER - The, er...
0:06:35 > 0:06:40The next thing a good reporter needs is to be fearless.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43For example, I will never forget the time
0:06:43 > 0:06:47when I fought off seven pirates singlehandedly
0:06:47 > 0:06:50before waking up in bed. Ohh!
0:06:50 > 0:06:52I'll show him who's fearless.
0:06:52 > 0:06:58- Hey, Hacker?- Yeah?- Isn't that your king-size hotdog over there?- Where?
0:06:58 > 0:07:04The name Digworth has always been synonymous with courage, spirit,
0:07:04 > 0:07:07nerves of steel.
0:07:07 > 0:07:12Agh! It's a giant spider! Run, everybody! Mummy, get rid of it!
0:07:12 > 0:07:15THEY LAUGH Oh, Digby!
0:07:15 > 0:07:19- HE LAUGHS - I knew it was you.
0:07:21 > 0:07:26Be warned. This next film features some of my bravest battles,
0:07:26 > 0:07:32my most dastardly disguises and my fearless-est face-downs
0:07:32 > 0:07:35of fiendish foes. You try saying that with your mouth full.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38Hacker, press play if you dare.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40I do!
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Go, go, go!
0:07:47 > 0:07:51Digby! The office is this way.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56I'll see if the coast is clear.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13That's the toilet!
0:08:13 > 0:08:16THEY LAUGH
0:08:16 > 0:08:18It's going in the coop.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Here, kitty, kitty. Good kitty.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Come to Uncle Digby.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39DIGBY YELLS
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Oh, no! Digby!
0:08:42 > 0:08:46Help me! Hacker! Help me!
0:08:56 > 0:08:58I'm en garde!
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Wahh!
0:09:13 > 0:09:16"Hacker! Hacker!"
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Yeah! Yeah!
0:09:28 > 0:09:32And now it's time for the one thing a good reporter needs
0:09:32 > 0:09:35more than anything else. A tea break.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39- And a wee-wee. - And a wee-wee. Hacker!
0:09:44 > 0:09:47You must be jealous. This lecture's going to be
0:09:47 > 0:09:50- my fast track to the big time. - Would you like a biscuit?
0:09:52 > 0:09:57- Yes, please. - Your students ate them all. Ha!
0:09:57 > 0:10:00But I, of course, have brought my own special biscuits.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05Whatever you do, don't stick your hand in my biscuit barrel.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Excuse me a moment.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20- Oh, I wouldn't do that.- I do not take orders from Selina Sharp!
0:10:21 > 0:10:23You can take your hand out now.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27- No, I can't!- Ha!
0:10:27 > 0:10:30That because that's my special biscuit barrel
0:10:30 > 0:10:34designed to capture biscuit thieves like you!
0:10:34 > 0:10:38- You little...- Don't worry, I'll show you where the release catch is.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42- Thank you.- After the second half of your lecture!
0:10:42 > 0:10:46Don't keep us waiting. SHE LAUGHS
0:10:47 > 0:10:50- DIGBY GROANS - Ohh.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56Our next subject is someone every good reporter needs
0:10:56 > 0:10:59but few are lucky enough to have.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03Someone generous and dedicated
0:11:03 > 0:11:05who's always there for them.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08An understanding boss.
0:11:08 > 0:11:13- Hacker, roll VT. - Roll is yourself.- Hacker!
0:11:21 > 0:11:25- Hello, Max.- Enough of this small talk. Digby, you're sacked.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27You're fired!
0:11:27 > 0:11:30- Atchoo!- Aghh!
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Get out or it won't be a wedding you'll be going to,
0:11:33 > 0:11:35it'll be a funeral! Your own!
0:11:35 > 0:11:38I blame myself. Although, obviously, I'll sack him.
0:11:38 > 0:11:42Did you really think I wouldn't see it, Digby Duh-brain?
0:11:42 > 0:11:45Get out while I think of a punishment. And rest assured,
0:11:45 > 0:11:49it will be horrible and mean and it will make you feel sad
0:11:49 > 0:11:52and I will laugh and it will sound like this.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54HE LAUGHS
0:11:54 > 0:11:57- Yes, Max. - Now get out, you blubbery buffoon!
0:11:58 > 0:12:00- Hacker, are you there?- Digby.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02- You're late.- Sir! Is that you?
0:12:02 > 0:12:07This is the real me, Digby.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10I'm having my portrait done for the big exhibition.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13Maximilian De Lacy, Emperor of Rome.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31- Get off me, you numbskull! - Sorry, sir!
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Look. A speaking grandfather clock.
0:12:35 > 0:12:41# Bongy-bong-bong-bong
0:12:41 > 0:12:44- What time is it now?- It's lunchtime.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48Yeah, must be. It's lunchtime, everyone. Let's lunch. Thank you.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53There's only one person that thinks that lunch is half past ten.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56Oh, yes. I know exactly what time it is!
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Time I did something very nasty to Digby Digworth.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03I spoke to Annie about what you did to my family's beloved shop!
0:13:03 > 0:13:07- Totally destroyed it!- No, I didn't! - You smashed everything up.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10- Other than that, it was all right. - You're fired!
0:13:11 > 0:13:15Get your hat and get out. Never darken my carpet again!
0:13:16 > 0:13:19- Ohh.- I darkened his carpet.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23- Ahh.- You can do it. Come on, big fella.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27- DIGBY GROANS - That's it. Come on.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30- Ohhh.- Come on!- Ohh!
0:13:34 > 0:13:37- Ohh!- Yes!
0:13:37 > 0:13:42- Ahhh!- Mwah! In your face, losers!
0:13:42 > 0:13:46# We are the champions
0:13:46 > 0:13:48# My friend
0:13:48 > 0:13:54BOTH: # And we'll keep on fighting till the end
0:13:54 > 0:13:58# We are the champions
0:13:58 > 0:14:02- # We are the champions - Ahem!
0:14:02 > 0:14:07- Tomorrow?- How?- Somebody changed the calendars in the office, remember?
0:14:07 > 0:14:10So we're always a day ahead of our rivals.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13Oh, yeah.
0:14:16 > 0:14:22Oh, yes. It's great to have... a supportive boss.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:14:25 > 0:14:27- Excuse me. - THEY LAUGH
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Digworth! I've looked through the books and I can't believe
0:14:30 > 0:14:34you're still on staff after such a disastrous litany of failed scoops
0:14:34 > 0:14:39- and catastrophic mistakes! - Yes, well, that's very interesting.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Hiring you was the most stupid, worthless decision I've ever made
0:14:42 > 0:14:45and if I had my way, I'd sack you! But who'd write the stories
0:14:45 > 0:14:49- about wart infections? - HE CHUCKLES
0:14:49 > 0:14:53- Anything else, Max?- Nope. Just wanted to get that off my chest.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56HE SIGHS
0:14:57 > 0:15:02Where was I? Oh, yes, a supportive boss.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05But there is, of course, one other special person
0:15:05 > 0:15:09who's always there for me.
0:15:10 > 0:15:15My mum. No, no, I'm only joking, Hacker. Of course it's you.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Every good reporter needs a right-hand man.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Er, or dog.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Ladies and gentleman, man's best friend.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31- Wahhh!- Hacker! Hacker!
0:15:32 > 0:15:33Digby.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38- So how's it going? - Oh, fine, you know.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42- I love you, Hacker! - I love you, Digby! Ohh!
0:15:42 > 0:15:45- Hacker!- Digby!
0:15:45 > 0:15:48The greatest magician in town!
0:15:48 > 0:15:50- You've got a cat? - HE GROWLS
0:15:50 > 0:15:52- HE HISSES - Come here, Hacker.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Hold me!
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Oh, aren't you a little cutie?
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Look, Nigel, it's some sort of meerkat, I think.
0:15:59 > 0:16:04Meerkat? Get off me! I'm not having this from you. In my condition!
0:16:04 > 0:16:09- BOTH: One, two, three!- Ooh!- Oh.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13- Immobilise suspect! - ALARM BLARES
0:16:13 > 0:16:16HACKER YELLS
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Aneeka-shima-shoa!
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- Hacker, will you please unclip the lead?- Sorry.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34- Whoopsie.- Good morning.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44HE YELLS
0:16:52 > 0:16:55HE GULPS
0:16:59 > 0:17:01APPLAUSE
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Don't milk it, Hacker. I'm the star reporter.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14- They're here to see me. - But they love me.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- Do you mind?- Just...
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Ladies and gentlemen... Stop it!
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Do you mind? What?
0:17:27 > 0:17:33Stop! And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what I brought you here to see.
0:17:33 > 0:17:37- You brought them here? - Yes, Digby. This is my lecture.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41Do you seriously think you were invited here
0:17:41 > 0:17:43because of your outstanding work as a reporter?
0:17:43 > 0:17:48No! I thought the best way to teach these students
0:17:48 > 0:17:51is to show them exactly what not to do.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Because every good reporter needs
0:17:54 > 0:17:57to be nothing like Digby D Digworth.
0:17:57 > 0:18:02Because as we all know, the D stands for Disaster-area.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05From helping criminals to steal paintings
0:18:05 > 0:18:08to ruining a chef's reputation,
0:18:08 > 0:18:13and who can forget the destruction of the scout hut you wanted to save?
0:18:13 > 0:18:18Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is all in a day's work
0:18:18 > 0:18:22for Digby Disaster-area Digworth. The evidence.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29- Accident prone? Not me. - You broke that mug this morning.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Yes, that was an accident, Hacker.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41- CRACKING - Aghhh!
0:18:43 > 0:18:47- Where is she?- Oh! - Back in a minute, Lenny!
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Dignity at all times.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54My computer!
0:18:54 > 0:18:56- Coming! - CLATTERING
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Mr Lucanal. Let me help you up.
0:19:00 > 0:19:01Ohh!
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Oh!
0:19:04 > 0:19:05Ooh! Ooh!
0:19:05 > 0:19:08No, wait, wait, I think I've got it.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11RIPPING Agh!
0:19:12 > 0:19:14I'm still worried about this eye, though.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Just a little...
0:19:16 > 0:19:19- Oh, Digby!- Not again!
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Ohh, double budgies!
0:19:23 > 0:19:26No-one is coming in here and breaking your valuables
0:19:26 > 0:19:30while Digby D Digworth is around. And do you know why?
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Ohh! Heavens! Dear Betsy!
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Because you've already broken them?
0:19:41 > 0:19:45You're such a worry wart, Hacker. I know what I'm doing.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49I'm hardly going to damage the one thing that could keep me in a job.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Only a complete idiot would do that.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54CLATTERING
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- Digby! - HE GROANS
0:19:58 > 0:20:02I think we got away with that, Hacker. Do you think they'll notice?
0:20:02 > 0:20:03Nah.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Nooooo!
0:20:08 > 0:20:12- I think they noticed.- Yeah.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15For all scouts everywhere,
0:20:15 > 0:20:20this irreplaceable, indestructible,
0:20:20 > 0:20:22irresistible hut.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26CREAKING
0:20:36 > 0:20:41- Stop! Turn it off, Hacker! Turn it off!- It won't work!
0:20:42 > 0:20:43Oww!
0:20:46 > 0:20:50- I'm only showing them journalistic facts, Digby!- OK.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Maybe I'm not the best reporter in the world. And I might not
0:20:53 > 0:20:58get everything right first time. But I always try my best!
0:20:58 > 0:21:03I work hard. I look after my friends.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06And I have everybody's best interests at heart.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08And when things do go wrong,
0:21:08 > 0:21:13it's only because I'm trying so hard to make them go right!
0:21:13 > 0:21:18And yes, so maybe I'm not the sort of reporter
0:21:18 > 0:21:22who always get the scoop, but I'm also not the sort
0:21:22 > 0:21:24who would trap someone's hand in a biscuit barrel!
0:21:24 > 0:21:29- It's not my fault someone can't take a joke.- If that's what it takes
0:21:29 > 0:21:32to be a successful reporter like you,
0:21:32 > 0:21:35then you can forget fame and fortune,
0:21:35 > 0:21:38because I will settle for being bumbling,
0:21:38 > 0:21:41big-hearted, Digby Disaster-area Digworth
0:21:41 > 0:21:44any day of the week!
0:21:44 > 0:21:46HE CLAPS
0:21:46 > 0:21:49THEY ALL CLAP
0:21:51 > 0:21:54I'll give him five seconds before he messes this up again.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Five, four, three,
0:21:57 > 0:21:59two, one.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Easy now.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05BIRDS TWEET
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Smile!
0:22:21 > 0:22:25Bumbling Reporter Really Takes The Biscuit?
0:22:25 > 0:22:31Brings shame on the Pilbury Post? DIGBY DIGWORTH!
0:22:41 > 0:22:45Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:22:45 > 0:22:49E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:22:56 > 0:22:59# S-C-O-O-P