0:00:04 > 0:00:06# Time is running out
0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Stories to be found
0:00:09 > 0:00:11# What's it all about?
0:00:11 > 0:00:13# Got to go and check around
0:00:13 > 0:00:19# If there's a rumour going round, don't you forget it
0:00:19 > 0:00:22# Whenever something's going down
0:00:22 > 0:00:24# Got to get that scoop
0:00:24 > 0:00:27# Got to get that scoop
0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Got to get that scoop
0:00:29 > 0:00:33# Got to get that S-C-O-O-P! #
0:00:34 > 0:00:38# Pilbury, Pilbury, Pilbury FC You are the football club for me
0:00:38 > 0:00:42# You're dead good at football You start with a P!
0:00:42 > 0:00:45# Pilbury, Pilbury
0:00:45 > 0:00:47# Pilbury! #
0:00:47 > 0:00:52- What a fantastic afternoon, eh, Hacker?- Yeah, 5-0.- I know.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56- I didn't expect Pilbury to lose 5-0, but we had a good time.- Yeah.
0:00:56 > 0:01:00- It was a great idea to bunk off work today.- What about Max?
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Don't worry about my grumpy-guts boss.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06- I phoned in sick using my best poorly voice.- Poorly voice?
0:01:07 > 0:01:10See this?
0:01:11 > 0:01:14- COUGHS - Hello, Max.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17I can't come in to work today.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21I've got a very bad cold and Hacker's got it too.
0:01:21 > 0:01:26- Da-na!- Bravo! Bravo! Well done indeedy-doo!
0:01:26 > 0:01:31- Let's look at the old highlights of the big match.- Yeah.- Sport.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34"United fans celebrate despite massive loss."
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Oh, dear.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Oh, dearie, dearie, dearie...
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Ow!
0:01:47 > 0:01:51Digby, that's us at the match.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54- Not ill.- I know. If Max sees that, we're dead meat.
0:01:54 > 0:01:58- We've got to get to the office and get this off the page!- Agh!
0:01:58 > 0:02:01Uh... Ah-aaaaah!
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Quick, while Max is in the loo.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10Ah! There's his paper. He can't have read it yet.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12We need to get rid of the evidence.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18I wouldn't go in there for a couple of hours. Feeling better, Digby?
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Eh? Oh!
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- COUGHS - Yeah, it comes and goes.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Cough, splutter, atchoo and so on!
0:02:26 > 0:02:30Have you come to give me germs or was there something in particular?
0:02:30 > 0:02:34No, we thought we'd drop by and tell you
0:02:34 > 0:02:37what an excellent job we think you're doing as an editor.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41- It must be a thankless task. Hacker, give the man a massage.- OK.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Oh! Oh, yes, yes. Oh!
0:02:46 > 0:02:50It can be quite stressful - the long hours and such.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54But it does have its perks - the pay, getting to boss people around.
0:02:54 > 0:02:59- But you know the best thing about being a newspaper editor?- No, Max.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Ow!
0:03:01 > 0:03:05It's that I get to see as many copies of the newspaper as I like.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Ah!
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Did you really think I wouldn't see it, Digby Durbrain?
0:03:10 > 0:03:13- It's my newspaper!- I can explain.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17- My doctor said the best place to get some fresh air...- Stop talking!
0:03:17 > 0:03:21I've had enough of you and your mangy pet rat!
0:03:21 > 0:03:25- I'm a dog.- Get out while I think of a punishment!
0:03:25 > 0:03:28And rest assured, it will be horrible and mean.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32It will make you feel sad and I will laugh. It will sound like this.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:03:34 > 0:03:37- Yes, Max.- Arrrgh!
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Can you believe Max spoke to me like that?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45I'm so cross, I could, I could...
0:03:45 > 0:03:48shake this cushion!
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Scary! Now, this punishment then.
0:03:51 > 0:03:55- What will it be?- If I know Max, he's going to give us the boot.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58- Like a big shoe? - No, he's going to sack us.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01- Oh.- He'll make us sweat all night.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04- Then in the morning...boom!- Ow!
0:04:04 > 0:04:09I am not going to sit around waiting for the axe to fall because...
0:04:10 > 0:04:12..I quit.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15But Digby, you're a great...
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Well, you're OK.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23- Well, you're a journalist. You can't quit.- Just you watch me.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26What is the most honourable way to quit my job?
0:04:26 > 0:04:31After all, I am Digby D Digworth. We all know what the D stands for.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34- Dunce.- No. Dignified!
0:04:35 > 0:04:38I've got it. A resignation letter.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44Hacker, bring me my writing tools.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48- Do you mean these?- I haven't used this notepaper for a while.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Oh! Oh!
0:04:50 > 0:04:55Hacker, don't be sad. We'll soon get another job.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- No, not that. I swallowed a spider.- Eugh!
0:05:01 > 0:05:05"Dear Granny, thank you for my book token."
0:05:05 > 0:05:09It's a letter to my granny, thanking her for my birthday present.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12My 11th birthday present. I obviously didn't post it.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Oh, well, I'm sure the old girl didn't mind.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Dear old Granny.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25- The letter!- Oh, yeah.
0:05:26 > 0:05:31Time to write the most elegant resignation letter in history.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35After all, I did put the "leg" in "elegant".
0:05:35 > 0:05:37What?
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Digby... Digby!
0:06:13 > 0:06:16Ha-ha-ha!
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Have you finished at last?
0:06:20 > 0:06:24I certainly have. Get a load of this for class.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- HE COUGHS - Sorry.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31"Dear Max...
0:06:31 > 0:06:33"I quit.
0:06:33 > 0:06:38- "Love, Digby."- Wonderful. - Short, poignant, devastating.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41- No, PS...- Yeah?
0:06:41 > 0:06:46"You are a horrible meanie and shout at me all the time." Put that on.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- Great.- Yeah. Oh, PPS...
0:06:49 > 0:06:51"You have an enormous bottom!"
0:06:51 > 0:06:55- Ha-ha-ha! - Ha-ha-ha! Perfecto!- Yeah.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59Right now, Hacker, take this letter. Put it in an envelope.
0:06:59 > 0:07:04- I will post it in the morning. - Are you really sure? Surely sure?
0:07:04 > 0:07:07I've never been so sure of anything in my life.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11Remember when I was sure that man was selling gorilla eggs?
0:07:11 > 0:07:15- I planted them to start a gorilla farm.- They were coconuts.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Yes, and I lost all my money.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21It's exactly the same as that, only this time, I'm completely right.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Yeah.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27- Good night, old chum.- Night-night!
0:07:31 > 0:07:33GULPS
0:07:34 > 0:07:37COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Agh! I'm not sure!
0:07:39 > 0:07:42I'm not sure at all!
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Hacker! Hacker!
0:07:44 > 0:07:48- Hacker! Hacker! - HACKER SNORES
0:07:52 > 0:07:55- # He's the number one dog - Do you mean me?
0:07:55 > 0:07:57- # Making all the right moves - I'm a VIP
0:07:57 > 0:08:02- # When the going gets rough...- I have a cup of tea!- H-A-C-K-E-R!- Hacker!
0:08:02 > 0:08:06- # When he hits the floor!- You beg for more!- Looks so divine!- K to the 9!
0:08:06 > 0:08:08- # Scratch with ease - I got showbiz fleas
0:08:08 > 0:08:12- # When I see a tree, I go pee - Top dog!- Top dog!
0:08:12 > 0:08:14- # Top dog!- That's me
0:08:14 > 0:08:17# He's the coolest of the canines
0:08:17 > 0:08:18# Ow-ow!
0:08:18 > 0:08:22- # Top dog!- A-ha - Top dog!- Say it, girls
0:08:22 > 0:08:27- # He's the coolest of the canines - Stop! Digby time!
0:08:27 > 0:08:31# He's Hacker, not a slacker, salt to my pepper, cheese on my cracker
0:08:31 > 0:08:34# He takes the flak, answers back He doesn't bark, more a yap
0:08:34 > 0:08:36# So come on, shake your maracas! #
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Aaagh!
0:08:42 > 0:08:44# Go, Hacker! Go, Hacker!
0:08:44 > 0:08:46# Go, Hacker! Go, Hacker!
0:08:46 > 0:08:49# Go, Hacker! Go, Hacker!
0:08:49 > 0:08:51# Go, Hacker! Go, Hacker!
0:08:51 > 0:08:53# Go, Hacker! Go, Hacker!
0:08:53 > 0:08:55# Go, Hacker! Go, Hacker!
0:08:55 > 0:08:59# Go, Hacker! Go, Hacker! Go, Hacker! Go, Hacker... #
0:08:59 > 0:09:03- Hacker! Hacker! - What-what-what-what?
0:09:03 > 0:09:05- I've been thinking.- What?
0:09:05 > 0:09:09I've realised resigning would be the most stupid idea I've ever had.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Where's the letter?
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Uh... Well, um...
0:09:14 > 0:09:18- I posted it.- You did what?
0:09:18 > 0:09:22I was up early chasing next door's cat and you said you were sure.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Oh, no. I'm doomed. I'm doomed!
0:09:25 > 0:09:31- You're not doomed. It's in the post box on the corner.- Let's go!
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Whoa!
0:09:34 > 0:09:38It's in there. Look, I'll get it. Ready?
0:09:38 > 0:09:40One, two!
0:09:41 > 0:09:44It's all the way down the bottom. I can't reach it.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46Come here, you.
0:09:48 > 0:09:53Just sit there, relax and watch the master at work.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57Now, you see, I just do this, you see?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59A bit of a twist.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- Stupid elbows.- Ha-ha-ha!
0:10:07 > 0:10:12- I can't reach it either. Oh, well, never mind. Worth a try.- Yeah.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Help me, Hacker!
0:10:21 > 0:10:25- It's no good. I'm stuck.- Let's pull. - All right.- Ready?
0:10:25 > 0:10:28BOTH: One, two, three!
0:10:28 > 0:10:30- Oh!- Oh!
0:10:32 > 0:10:37- I'm still stuck. Get some help.- What help?- Something to get my arm out.
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Go! Go!
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- No!- Ha-ha-ha!
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Phew! I tell you what...
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Oh, butter!
0:10:53 > 0:10:57Grease up Digby's arm. It'll slip right out. Ha-ha!
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Good morning.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Hmm, baguette!
0:11:10 > 0:11:13So warm, so crusty.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Oh, oh!
0:11:19 > 0:11:21No-o-o!
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Stupid baguette!
0:11:23 > 0:11:26Why must you be so delicious?
0:11:27 > 0:11:31Excuse me. Another butter baguette, please.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Hacker... Hacker!
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Yes?- Ah, brilliant!
0:11:36 > 0:11:40- You brought breakfast. - No, don't eat it! Use the butter.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Grease up your arm. Yeah.
0:11:46 > 0:11:50Hooray! I'm free! But we still need to get that letter out.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53The postie's due in 15 minutes.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01- That's soon!- Yes!
0:12:01 > 0:12:04I'm wiped out now.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Ohhh.
0:12:07 > 0:12:12Oh, I'm sleepy after all those baguettes.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15I mean all that running around.
0:12:15 > 0:12:21- Don't you fall asleep on me now. - I won't. I'm wide awake. Uh...
0:12:21 > 0:12:22SNORING
0:12:24 > 0:12:26CRASH!
0:12:26 > 0:12:30- No, I don't want to go to school, Mummy!- Wake up, Digby!
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- There she is!- No! Stop!
0:12:33 > 0:12:36- Stop!- Good morning, sir.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40- Morning. Nice day for it. - Good morning.
0:12:40 > 0:12:45This sounds strange, but you have a letter my dog posted by mistake.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- Yeah.- It's addressed to a big, scary walrus man.
0:12:49 > 0:12:54If he reads it, he'll get so cross he'll turn red and a giant vein
0:12:54 > 0:12:58will bulge out of his forehead like a big worm! Please...
0:12:58 > 0:13:02It's addressed to Max de Lacey at the Pilbury Post.
0:13:04 > 0:13:08- This letter?- Yes! That's it, thank you!
0:13:08 > 0:13:13I'm sorry, sir. When you post a letter in Her Majesty's post boxes,
0:13:13 > 0:13:17it becomes the property of the Royal Mail. The Queen.
0:13:17 > 0:13:22It would be more than my job's worth to hand over the Queen's own mail
0:13:22 > 0:13:26- to any man on the street. And his dog.- Eh?
0:13:26 > 0:13:30This letter is going exactly where it is intended - to a sorting office
0:13:30 > 0:13:35where it will be sorted and delivered first thing tomorrow morning
0:13:35 > 0:13:38to its intended recipient. Good morning, sir.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41No, come back...!
0:13:41 > 0:13:43- Come back!- Now what?
0:13:43 > 0:13:47- Let's go see the Queen. - We haven't got time, Hacker!
0:13:47 > 0:13:50It's going to the sorting office.
0:13:50 > 0:13:54- Quick - get some brown paper and sticky tape.- Oh?
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Are you OK in there?
0:13:59 > 0:14:05- I'm fine.- I've made these air holes and I've got you some snacks.- Oh!
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- There you go.- Ho ho!
0:14:08 > 0:14:11Lovely.
0:14:13 > 0:14:18OK, thank you, Hacker. I'm ready. Now take me to the Post Office.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Urgh!
0:14:24 > 0:14:27- You couldn't get in this outside the Post Office?- What?
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Nothing. Great idea, boss(!)
0:14:32 > 0:14:34PHONE RINGS
0:14:35 > 0:14:39- Hello, Max!- I'm reminding you I want you in my office at 9am sharp.
0:14:39 > 0:14:44For your punishment! And bring that little dog with you.
0:14:44 > 0:14:49Put that in the diary. I'll teach him to pull a sickie on Max de Lacey!
0:14:52 > 0:14:55Ooh, Digby Digworth.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59You are so naughty!
0:15:17 > 0:15:22- 'How do you record a message on this?- Press the thing.- This button?'
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Hacker, if you can hear me, wake up.
0:15:25 > 0:15:29I think the plan is working. I've been in this box for hours.
0:15:29 > 0:15:35I must be inside the sorting office. Wish me luck, Hacker. Here I go.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41What the...?!
0:15:43 > 0:15:45I'm back at home!
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Hacker! Hacker!
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Digby? What's all the noise?
0:15:50 > 0:15:55Why was I posted back here? I was going to the sorting office!
0:15:55 > 0:15:59Insufficient postage? Return to sender?
0:15:59 > 0:16:03- You didn't use enough stamps! - Ohh, don't blame me!
0:16:03 > 0:16:05I knew you lied about your weight.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09This is not the time to discuss my weight!
0:16:09 > 0:16:14Max wants to see me first thing and that letter is still out there
0:16:14 > 0:16:18on its way to him in a postal sack. That's it!
0:16:18 > 0:16:22- What's it?- Clarabell - she always sorts out Max's post.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Oh, not big, scary Clarabell!
0:16:25 > 0:16:29The one who made haddock and liver tartlets! I hate to admit it,
0:16:29 > 0:16:32but she's our last hope.
0:16:36 > 0:16:41Right. You get the letter. I'll distract her.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Hello, Digby, darling.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52You're just in time for breakfast.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Aaahhh!
0:16:54 > 0:16:59- Is that what I think it is? - Yes, liver and haddock tartlets.
0:16:59 > 0:17:04- Try one.- I'd love to, Clarabell, but I would literally die.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Are you sure? Oh, well, then.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10I'll just have to sort Max's post.
0:17:10 > 0:17:15No, wait a minute. Come on. Let's... Let's get to know each other a bit.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Oh, Digby!
0:17:17 > 0:17:22I feel I know you very well from your newspaper stories.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25You're always getting into trouble, aren't you?
0:17:25 > 0:17:28I must confess, Digby,
0:17:28 > 0:17:30doll face,
0:17:30 > 0:17:36I've always had a bit of a soft spot for bad boys!
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Well, eh...
0:17:40 > 0:17:45You're not so bad yourself. Yeah, I like the way you, eh...
0:17:45 > 0:17:49you've always got lipstick on your teeth and you smell like liver.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52You big flirt!
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Ha ha! Ow!
0:17:55 > 0:17:59Clarabell, I was hoping that you could do me a favour.
0:17:59 > 0:18:04- As long as you do something for me in return.- Anything, Clarabell.
0:18:04 > 0:18:09How about you give me a little kiss?
0:18:10 > 0:18:13I couldn't... No, I'm not really that sort of boy.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Oh?
0:18:15 > 0:18:17I think you are...
0:18:17 > 0:18:21if you want THIS back.
0:18:21 > 0:18:26- You've got the letter!- I knew there was something fishy going on.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30- Are you going to tell me what's in here?- I can't.
0:18:30 > 0:18:35Well then, me laddo, pucker up or I'll give it straight to Max!
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Zoiks!
0:18:41 > 0:18:47So while the cat's away, the mice go kissy-kissy!
0:18:47 > 0:18:51- Snoggy snoggy. - Good morning, Mr de Lacey.
0:18:51 > 0:18:56- Here's your hot chocolate and croissant, sir.- Thanks for my post.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00I'll take it in the office. You...wait here until called.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06- Digby!- What?
0:19:06 > 0:19:08The letter! Get after him!
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Hey, how are YOU doing?
0:19:19 > 0:19:22Hacker!
0:19:23 > 0:19:28- I told you to wait outside.- I just couldn't wait. It's been so long.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31It was two minutes ago.
0:19:31 > 0:19:36- What is it about this letter? What's so important?- Nothing.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Nothing at all.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Hoo-way!
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Ha ha ha! I see.
0:19:56 > 0:20:01This letter's from you two. Terrible doggy handwriting.
0:20:13 > 0:20:18- Give it to me!- Get off me, you numbskull!- Sorry, sir!
0:20:19 > 0:20:24Now...to find out what all this fuss is about, eh?
0:20:26 > 0:20:32"Dear Granny, thank you so much for my birthday book token.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36"Lots of love, Digby D Digworth, aged 11"?!
0:20:36 > 0:20:40- What is this?! - I put the wrong letter in.
0:20:40 > 0:20:45No, you put the right letter in the envelope. We're off Scot free!
0:20:45 > 0:20:47No damage done! Yay!
0:20:47 > 0:20:52- I don't understand. Your granny?! - It's a joke, Max. Isn't it?
0:20:52 > 0:20:54- Eh?- Yeah!
0:20:54 > 0:20:56We'll be off, then.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59Not so fast.
0:21:01 > 0:21:06- I've still got to punish you two for yesterday.- Very well.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11- Give me the boot. - That's very clever, Digby.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14How did you know your punishment?
0:21:14 > 0:21:18- Eh?- Yes! I am the master of ironic punishment!
0:21:18 > 0:21:23And it's fair to say you will get the boot - all of the boots!
0:21:23 > 0:21:28My five-a-side football team played a very muddy match last night.
0:21:28 > 0:21:33I know how much you love football, so you and your mangy friend
0:21:33 > 0:21:36can clean 'em, eh? Ha ha ha!
0:21:36 > 0:21:42- Oh, this is a horrible punishment. We'll really hate this.- Yes.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45- Come on, Hacker.- Yeah.
0:21:45 > 0:21:50- I wonder what happened to my letter to Max.- I don't know.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58Come on, Hacker.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06TELEPHONE RINGS
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Hello, Reception.
0:22:08 > 0:22:12He's in his office right now, madam. Come on up.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16- "Dear Granny..." I don't understand.- Max!
0:22:16 > 0:22:19I'm Digby's gran!
0:22:19 > 0:22:24What's all this about you being a horrible meanie to my Digby?
0:22:24 > 0:22:27- You nasty newspaperman! - Get off me!
0:22:27 > 0:22:30My little Digby is right!
0:22:30 > 0:22:33You DO have an enormous bottom!
0:22:33 > 0:22:34Ow!
0:22:36 > 0:22:37Oh!
0:22:40 > 0:22:43DIGBY DIGWORTH!
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Stop! About turn!
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Yaaah!
0:22:58 > 0:23:02Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd - 2011
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:23:07 > 0:23:09S-C-O-O-P!