Identity Crisis

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

0:00:04 > 0:00:09# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

0:00:09 > 0:00:10# Maxum Man is missing

0:00:10 > 0:00:12# Now we rule the school

0:00:12 > 0:00:14# Flying, smashing, bashing, stomping, looking super cool

0:00:14 > 0:00:17# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

0:00:17 > 0:00:20# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

0:00:20 > 0:00:23# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

0:00:23 > 0:00:25# Just like superheroes

0:00:25 > 0:00:26# Just like superzeros

0:00:26 > 0:00:27# But only half as big

0:00:27 > 0:00:28# Sidekick! #

0:00:32 > 0:00:34EVIL LAUGHTER

0:00:34 > 0:00:38I don't know anything, I swear! I have a very small brain.

0:00:40 > 0:00:41ERIC GRUNTS

0:00:43 > 0:00:47OK, we studied this in Not Talking Under Pressure class.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49I remember...

0:00:49 > 0:00:54If you are ever captured, zere is vun simple r-r-r-ule.

0:00:54 > 0:00:55The first thing...

0:01:00 > 0:01:01ERIC SIGHS

0:01:03 > 0:01:08OK, I remember...NOTHING! I'll talk, I'll talk, I'll tell you everything!

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Nein!

0:01:10 > 0:01:15Foolish boy. The sidekick must never talk. Never-r-r!

0:01:15 > 0:01:17And zis was merely ze practice laser.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21Whoopsie! Wrong setting, heh-heh.

0:01:21 > 0:01:23SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:01:23 > 0:01:27Remember, tomorrow is Pick Your Sidekick Identity Day.

0:01:27 > 0:01:29Zere will be a te-e-est!

0:01:33 > 0:01:36Hey! You guys want to get together and brainstorm some sidekick IDs?

0:01:36 > 0:01:39- We've already picked ours. - Known mine for years, dude.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42- Everyone has! - SCHOOL KIDS MUMBLE IN AGREEMENT

0:01:42 > 0:01:45- Yes, ma'am.- You betcha. - ALIENS MUMBLE

0:01:45 > 0:01:47Seriously? What are they?

0:01:47 > 0:01:51Vana's is probably something like, I'm So Perfect! Huh-ha-ha-ha!

0:01:51 > 0:01:55Actually, it's Galacta Lass...but I like your idea too.

0:01:55 > 0:01:58Galacta Lass? Heh, it totally suits you.

0:01:58 > 0:02:03You know, because you're, like, galactically awesome, heh, and stuff.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06TREVOR FAKES GAGGING

0:02:06 > 0:02:10- I'm pretending your words are making me hurl.- Yeah, I got that.

0:02:10 > 0:02:13Kitty, what's your sidekick ID?

0:02:13 > 0:02:16- Bride of Eric! - HERE COMES THE BRIDE PLAYS

0:02:16 > 0:02:19Right now, it's Aztec Girl, but I have other ideas.

0:02:19 > 0:02:22By the way, at the reception, do you like chicken or fish?

0:02:22 > 0:02:24- What?- What?

0:02:24 > 0:02:26TREVOR GAGS Trevor...

0:02:26 > 0:02:30I seriously almost threw up that time. I swallowed a bug.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32ANGRY INSECT CHATTER

0:02:32 > 0:02:35Ho-ho-ho-ho! I can't wait to hear what your sidekick identity is.

0:02:35 > 0:02:40It's classified, under lock and key, never been revealed, so...

0:02:40 > 0:02:44I can't tell you what it is. But I can show you...

0:02:46 > 0:02:50Behold! The super-secret Troublemeyer vault.

0:02:50 > 0:02:54Before I show you, you'll need to take a sacred oath, swearing to...

0:02:54 > 0:02:56- Is this cardboard?- Wait! Don't...

0:02:59 > 0:03:04Fine, we'll skip the oath. S-i-i-ideburn Muttonchops!

0:03:04 > 0:03:08- Awesome, right?! - Erm, that's real meat.- I know.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11I'm thinking of The Muttonchop Kid.

0:03:11 > 0:03:14But The Burnmeister is also pretty sweet.

0:03:14 > 0:03:18Yeah. Too bad Maxum Man's not around. I'm sure he could've helped me.

0:03:21 > 0:03:23So, tomorrow is Pick Your Sidekick Identity Day at school.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27- And I got nothing.- Oh, that is being no problem at all.

0:03:27 > 0:03:29Maxum Man thought of everything.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33Welcome, my brother, to your funkadelic

0:03:33 > 0:03:35sidekick inauguration ceremony.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39You have been chosen to be my g-r-r-r-oovy new sidekick, you dig?

0:03:42 > 0:03:44It wasn't easy finding a secret identity for someone

0:03:44 > 0:03:47as special as you, it had to be, like, totally cool.

0:03:47 > 0:03:48R-R-R-OAR

0:03:48 > 0:03:52Completely hip. Far out and...freak-y-y.

0:03:52 > 0:03:54GIRLS GIGGLE

0:03:54 > 0:04:00- So, are you ready, cool cat?- Yeah! - Can you feel the heat?!

0:04:00 > 0:04:04- I can feel it.- Say hello to your very special, very funky,

0:04:04 > 0:04:06hip cat style.

0:04:07 > 0:04:11Welcome to the Maxum Man family, Maxum Boy!

0:04:11 > 0:04:13VOICE ECHOES

0:04:19 > 0:04:23Gr-r-r-oovy, baby. Yeah!

0:04:27 > 0:04:33Maxum Boy?! I know Maxum Man picked it an' all, but...Maxum Boy?!

0:04:35 > 0:04:37Ha-ha-ha-haa!

0:04:37 > 0:04:41Well, the Maxum Boy programme was last updated in the '70s,

0:04:41 > 0:04:44after Golly Gee Kid, er...retired.

0:04:44 > 0:04:49I can barely move in this suit. And this wig itches.

0:04:49 > 0:04:52I need my own cool sidekick identity that kicks butt,

0:04:52 > 0:04:54and says something about ME.

0:04:54 > 0:04:58- Maxum Girl is also available. - Not HELPING.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01- Come on, Trevor.- Or Mini Maxum... - Tee-he-he-he.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03That could work. Ha-hah-ha!

0:05:03 > 0:05:06I've programmed this costume simulation booth

0:05:06 > 0:05:07with my personality profile.

0:05:07 > 0:05:12That should give it some cool material to work with.

0:05:12 > 0:05:15HIGH-PITCHED CRESCENDO BOOM

0:05:15 > 0:05:17Evil-doers, beware.

0:05:17 > 0:05:21The Guitar sidekick is about to level up on your butts.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23Whoo-hoo-hoo!

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Aaagh-hah-haaa!

0:05:30 > 0:05:32ROCK GUITAR RIFF, FIZZLING

0:05:32 > 0:05:37- L-ay-hay-hame! Good catch phrase, though.- OK, I've got another one.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40I like movies and TV, so...

0:05:42 > 0:05:47..Assistant Movie Director Lad coming soon to a theatre near you!

0:05:47 > 0:05:49A-a-a-nd cut!

0:05:49 > 0:05:50Ow.

0:05:50 > 0:05:54Do you have super popcorn-making powers?

0:05:54 > 0:05:57- HE GASPS I do not.- Next!

0:05:57 > 0:05:59All right, one more.

0:05:59 > 0:06:04The Orphan. Wandering the streets alone, while he searches for...

0:06:04 > 0:06:06OK, I don't even like this one.

0:06:06 > 0:06:13My personality's lame. I'm so boring. I'm totally going to fail.

0:06:14 > 0:06:17- Stop me any time. - OK, so you're boring.

0:06:17 > 0:06:24Really, really...really boring. So make something up!

0:06:24 > 0:06:31Get some att-i-tude! Think of something cool, or scary, or both!

0:06:31 > 0:06:34Oh, I even thought of his name.

0:06:34 > 0:06:39He's dark. He's broody. He's the bad boy with a heart of gold!

0:06:39 > 0:06:44He-e-e's Kid Ruthless! Ye-yeah!

0:06:44 > 0:06:46- Huh?- Hmmm...

0:06:49 > 0:06:51- ALL:- Whoa!

0:06:51 > 0:06:54ROCK GUITAR RIFF

0:07:04 > 0:07:10- Eric! What have you done? I like it.- You do? I mean...

0:07:10 > 0:07:13BAD LONDON ACCENT: Kid Ruthless doesn't need your approval.

0:07:13 > 0:07:17- If you don't have any plans for lunch today, maybe we could...- Eric?

0:07:17 > 0:07:22It's Kid Ruthless now and he already has lunch plans, with me.

0:07:22 > 0:07:26- Did I call it, or what? - You totally called it!

0:07:26 > 0:07:29I never thought of myself as a bad boy, but I'm liking it!

0:07:29 > 0:07:31GLASS SMASHES

0:07:32 > 0:07:35Oh, hey! It's Kid Ruthless. I wonder what he wants.

0:07:35 > 0:07:38There's another Kid Ruthless?!

0:07:38 > 0:07:42D-u-u-de, you should not have stolen his sidekick name.

0:07:42 > 0:07:47- BAD LONDON ACCENT:- Oi! Which one of you dares call hisself Kid Ruthless?

0:07:50 > 0:07:53Um, Mr Ruthless, sir... Or can I call you Kid?

0:07:58 > 0:08:00Mr Ruthless, it is.

0:08:00 > 0:08:03Er, listen, there's totally been a misunderstanding here.

0:08:03 > 0:08:06That name is mine, and if you want it,

0:08:06 > 0:08:09you're going to have to pry it from my cold, calloused,

0:08:09 > 0:08:11ruggedly handsome hands.

0:08:13 > 0:08:15Guys...

0:08:15 > 0:08:17CUTE PIANO TRILL

0:08:17 > 0:08:20This identity is all I've got. You want a fight...

0:08:20 > 0:08:22BAD LONDON ACCENT: ..you got one!

0:08:24 > 0:08:25SQUISH

0:08:25 > 0:08:28At least I can't hear everybody laughing at me up here.

0:08:28 > 0:08:30RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Awww...

0:08:32 > 0:08:36Class! Ve are ready to reveal our secret identities.

0:08:36 > 0:08:39- Vere is Herr Needles? - I am right here.

0:08:39 > 0:08:43Say hello to Maxum Eric Boy!

0:08:43 > 0:08:44Lad.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47Or a better name if I think of one later.

0:08:47 > 0:08:54So, let's see what ziss Maxum Eric Boy Lad can do. I order a pop quiz!

0:08:58 > 0:09:00Uh-oh! Nobody mentioned a quiz!

0:09:09 > 0:09:11Whoa-oa.

0:09:11 > 0:09:12SMASH

0:09:12 > 0:09:16So far, Maxum Eric Boy Lad does just as poorly as normal Eric does.

0:09:16 > 0:09:20Well, let's see how those buckets of bolts do against this...

0:09:24 > 0:09:26- ALL:- Hooray!

0:09:26 > 0:09:28GUITAR STRING TWANGS

0:09:28 > 0:09:29- ALL:- Boo!

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Or how about...this?!

0:09:37 > 0:09:41- Aaaagh!- What next, Herr Needles? Enough of your little tricks.

0:09:44 > 0:09:45ROAR

0:09:55 > 0:09:56Now to channel some of that...

0:09:56 > 0:10:00BAD LONDON ACCENT: ..Kid Ruthless attitude.

0:10:00 > 0:10:01Hi-ya!

0:10:02 > 0:10:03Hi-ya!

0:10:06 > 0:10:08- ALL:- Hooray!

0:10:08 > 0:10:12I can't believe it. I did it! Maxum Eric Boy Lad did it!

0:10:12 > 0:10:14And with gr-o-o-vy style, too.

0:10:14 > 0:10:17ALL CHEER

0:10:17 > 0:10:21An F? I got an F? Just because I called myself Maxum Eric?

0:10:21 > 0:10:23It's the secret identity rule.

0:10:23 > 0:10:27Everybody knows, you never use your real name. Duh!

0:10:27 > 0:10:30Well, I had the best sidekick identity EVER!

0:10:30 > 0:10:34But all I got was a C-. We'll get them next time, boys.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36We'll get them next time.

0:10:38 > 0:10:41I guess I'll figure out my sidekick identity some day.

0:10:41 > 0:10:45Until then, I'm happy just being plain old Eric.

0:10:46 > 0:10:50- OK, who's the one they call Plain Old Eric?- Gulp.